Transcripts
I've been a labor and delivery nurse for 16 years, and I've delivered over a thousand babies.
Trish:But here's what's going to shock you.
Trish:What I do and what other labor nurses do during their first trimester is completely different from what I hear my patients doing.
Trish:And girl, I'm about to spill all seven secrets that could literally change your entire birth experience.
Trish:Now before you think this is just another pregnancy podcast . Let me tell you something.
Trish:One of my students followed just three of these strategies and went from being told she needed a C-section to having a four hour natural birth.
Trish:Most don't see results that dramatic, but it shows you the power of the smart choices you can make inside your first trimester that I'm about to share with you, whether you are six weeks pregnant or 12 weeks, whether this is baby number one.
Trish:Or baby number seven.
Trish:These seven things will work for you.
Trish:And don't worry if you feel like you're already behind.
Trish:I'm gonna teach you exactly how to catch up even if you're at the end of your first trimester.
Trish:But here's the thing, secret number seven is so controversial that most doctors would never tell you this, and it's the one thing.
Trish:That could prevent you from needing interventions during your birth.
Trish:So make sure you stick around until the end, because that's where I'm going to blow your mind.
Trish:Listen, mama.
Trish:My name is Trish Ware and I'm not your typical labor nurse, and if you're new here to the podcast, we are so happy you're here.
Trish:In honor of our 200th episode this week.
Trish:We are going to do something special.
Trish:We are gonna go through the next.
Trish:Week.
Trish:Whoever leaves a review on this episode and tells us how much they love it and what they want to hear more of, we are going to pick one lucky winner who's going to get $200 gift card to Amazon.
Trish:So make sure you leave a review, then send us an email to info at.
Trish:Labor nurse mama.com with your information and tell us that you left a review with your username and one of you guys will get a $200 gift card.
Trish:So after 16 years in the delivery room and having six babies of my own, I got pissed off of seeing scared unprepared moms walking into birth blind and being.
Trish:Coerced and bullied into decisions.
Trish:So that's why I created the birth education.
Trish:I wish.
Trish:I had had and every other mom had.
Trish:Here's what we're going to cover today.
Trish:Seven specific things that I do during my first trimesters that are completely different from the standard advice, you're going to understand why your first trimester isn't just about surviving morning sickness.
Trish:It's about setting yourself up for the birth of your dreams.
Trish:But first, if you're new here, hit the subscribe button right now because I drop new birth education content every single week, twice a week.
Trish:That could literally save you from unnecessary interventions, and trust me, you don't want to miss a single episode.
Trish:Secret number one is going to sound crazy, but I start working on my birth plan at eight weeks pregnant.
Trish:This is why you have to be educated not at 36 weeks, like most moms, not at 20 weeks.
Trish:But at eight weeks, and here's why this matters.
Trish:Your birth plan isn't just a piece of paper you hand to your nurse or your doctor.
Trish:It is your map for making informed decisions throughout your entire pregnancy because those early ones affect the late ones.
Trish:When I start this early, I'm not just thinking about Labor Day, I'm thinking about every prenatal appointment, every test, every conversation, every decision that's going to come up.
Trish:One of my students, Sarah, started her birth plan at nine weeks.
Trish:She came to us inside the membership.
Trish:Before she even got pregnant, starts her birth plan at nine weeks, and by the time she hit her 20 week anatomy scan because she had attended our pregnancy happy hours and created her birth plan, she already knew exactly which questions to ask about her baby's physician.
Trish:Which intervention she wanted to avoid and how to advocate for herself.
Trish:And there was none of that big baby bullshit.
Trish:Now not everyone will have the same experience as Sarah, she ended up having exactly the birth she planned for, and throughout her pregnancy, she knew what to look for and what to ask, which is power.
Trish:Most moms wait until the third trimester to think about their birth plan, and by then they've already made dozens of decisions without even realizing it.
Trish:They've agreed to routine procedures because that's what we do.
Trish:They've accepted standard protocols thinking that's the only choice they have, and they missed little baby step opportunities to set themselves up for success.
Trish:Here's what I do differently.
Trish:I use my first trimester to research my provider, understand my hospital policies, look at the stats, and start having conversations about what I want, not what they want.
Trish:This isn't about being difficult.
Trish:It's about you being prepared.
Trish:Secret number two, I interview my provider like I am hiring then for the most important job in the world, because I am.
Trish:You are.
Trish:Most women choose their OB or midwife based on convenience, like which hospital are they go into?
Trish:Is it close to my house?
Trish:Are they covered by my insurance and who do my bestie recommend?
Trish:But girl, this person is going to make huge decisions about your body and your baby during the most vulnerable moment of your life.
Trish:During my first trimester appointments, I ask the hard questions and I tell my students and my mama members in my membership.
Trish:Early and often start asking them early and often, what's your C-section rate?
Trish:How do you feel about birth plans?
Trish:What's your policy on delayed cord clamping?
Trish:How long can I push before you're gonna start suggesting interventions?
Trish:I never used the word let though.
Trish:Don't ask them.
Trish:What will you let me do?
Trish:'cause you have the power.
Trish:I had a student who switched providers at 10 weeks.
Trish:Because her original OB told her at that early appointment that birth plans were cute but unrealistic.
Trish:You don't really need it.
Trish:Don't listen to anyone.
Trish:You don't need it.
Trish:She found a midwife who supported her vision, and she ended up having an incredible unmedicated birth because that's what she wanted.
Trish:Now, switching providers isn't always possible for everyone.
Trish:Asking these questions early gives you time to formulate a plan and to make changes if you need to.
Trish:Here's the thing most moms don't realize.
Trish:Your provider's philosophy about birth, their attitude will shape your entire experience.
Trish:If they see this as a medical emergency waiting to happen.
Trish:That's how they'll treat you If they see birth as the natural process that it is, that occasionally needs support.
Trish:So thank God for the interventions when they're needed, but that's a completely different experience.
Trish:The first trimester is your window to find the right.
Trish:Fit not just medically, but also emotionally and mentally.
Trish:And are they in alignment with who you are?
Trish:If you don't jive girl, you're gonna be spending a lot of time with this provider and they're gonna be at your most important event.
Trish:They should be an addition, not a subtraction.
Trish:Secret number three is going to surprise you.
Trish:I start preparing my body for birth at six weeks pregnant, not in the third trimester, like most birth classes teach now.
Trish:I'm not talking about doing some crazy workout or anything dangerous.
Trish:You can continue doing what you've been doing, but I'm talking about gentle, intentional movement that's going to set me up for an easier birth.
Trish:The biggest thing I do.
Trish:I recommend this to all of you sitting in a deep squat every single day.
Trish:I start with just about 30 to 60 seconds, and I work my way up to about 30 minutes.
Trish:My mama, who is from Kentucky, has told me a lot of weird old wives tales, but one of the most powerful things she told me and she hit the nail on the head was to do everything squatting, watch tv, squatting, mop the floor with a rag, squatting.
Trish:Fold laundry, squatting, scroll, Instagram squatting.
Trish:And you know what I tell my students the same thing because she was completely right and my first pushing experience was so much better because of it.
Trish:And I've seen thousands of births.
Trish:So I know this for a fact.
Trish:One of my students started doing daily squats at eight weeks pregnant.
Trish:By the time she went into labor, she pushed for only 20 minutes with her first baby.
Trish:Now, obviously that's not always the case.
Trish:Most first time moms push for one to three hours, but it shows what's possible when you prepare early and it prepares your perineum so you're less likely to tear, which I know all of y'all are worried about.
Trish:I also start with a pelvic for work immediately.
Trish:Not Kegels.
Trish:Those can actually make things worse.
Trish:I'm talking about learning how to relax and release my pelvic floor muscles because that's what's needed to do during birth.
Trish:Most women spend their entire pregnancy doing nothing that is actually effective to prepare their body for birth.
Trish:Then they freak out because labor is so hard.
Trish:It's like.
Trish:You're gonna do a marathon in 40 weeks, but you sit on your couch for the entire time.
Trish:But here's what people don't tell you.
Trish:The way you move your body during pregnancy directly affects how your baby positions themself for birth.
Trish:This is why we have our standalone class, purposeful positioning, and.
Trish:Baby's position is everything when it comes to having an easy labor and how you move your body.
Trish:How you even sit and stand and walk can affect baby's position throughout your pregnancy and either help you have a better or harder labor
Trish:Secret number four is controversial, but I refuse routine procedures that don't actually serve me or my baby or are not in alignment with what I want.
Trish:So starting in my first trimester, I have conversations about which tests and procedures are truly necessary versus which ones are just routine.
Trish:I ask questions.
Trish:I do research, for example.
Trish:I don't automatically agree to cervical exams starting at 36 weeks.
Trish:Why?
Trish:Because dilation before labor doesn't mean a darn thing, and I've had students who were told they were closed T as Fort Knox at 37 weeks and then went into labor the next week.
Trish:Or I've had students who've heard the same thing and went into labor a few hours later and had their baby by morning.
Trish:I've had others who walked around at six centimeters, four weeks driving themselves crazy thinking, labor's coming any moment.
Trish:It's imminent.
Trish:So here's my rule.
Trish:Nothing out of convenience or curiosity except mine.
Trish:If I wanna know, that's different.
Trish:If my provider wants to do something, I ask three questions.
Trish:Is this necessary for my health or my baby's health?
Trish:What happens if we wait and what are the risks and benefit of doing it?
Trish:Not doing it.
Trish:One of my students questioned a routine induction recommendation at 39 weeks.
Trish:Her provider literally couldn't give her a medical reason beyond the arrive trial study, and I'll do an episode on that, and this provider couldn't say, well, that's what we usually do based on the arrive study.
Trish:No, she waited and went into labor naturally at 40 weeks and two days and had a beautiful birth.
Trish:Now, not everyone should wait.
Trish:Sometimes inductions are medically necessary, but asking questions, being educated, knowing what you need to know.
Trish:At every step of the way throughout the entire pregnancy.
Trish:This is why my birth classes start at the beginning because asking questions is always, you are right, and it's always appropriate.
Trish:The first trimester is when I establish this pattern of, I'm not that patient who's just gonna be like, yes sir, yes ma'am, whatever you want.
Trish:I start a pattern of informed consent, and I let my provider know that I'm gonna be asking questions.
Trish:And that I want to understand the why behind the recommendations.
Trish:Not just like, Hey, this is what we're doing now.
Trish:And I'm like, yes, okay.
Trish:I, I want them to know that I expect to be treated as a partner in my care because I hired you.
Trish:I'm not a passive bystander in my own pregnancy and birth.
Trish:Secret number five, girl.
Trish:I start building my support team in the first trimester, and I don't just mean choosing a partner to be in the room with me, I'm talking about assembling a team of people who understand my vision for birth.
Trish:And will support me in achieving it.
Trish:This also includes my provider, but it also includes if I'm gonna have a doula or a bestie, my childbirth educator, or my pelvic floor therapist, and even my family members.
Trish:Here's what most people don't realize.
Trish:Your partner needs just as much education as you do.
Trish:They're going to be your advocate when you're in labor and can't think.
Trish:Clearly now for me, my partner was just not that person, and some of you guys know our story, so it had to be someone who I know who would be in there actively supporting me emotionally and physically.
Trish:But if they don't understand your wishes or don't know how to support you.
Trish:They can't do their job effectively.
Trish:They'll be over on the couch scrolling like you see on Instagram.
Trish:I had a student whose husband was initially skeptical about her birth plan at a birth center.
Trish:She got him involved early.
Trish:He came to some of our partner hangouts and she had him go to the appointments and she educated him about her choices and throughout her pregnancy, he watched her.
Trish:Asking questions and not agreeing to everything.
Trish:So by the time they went into her birth, by the time she went into labor, he was her fiercest advocate and wasn't over there thinking, oh my gosh, we need to listen to the doctor 'cause the doctor knows best.
Trish:So when the doctor suggested an unnecessary intervention, her husband already knew when that intervention was necessary because he knew everything I know, and he was the one who asked the right questions and helped her make an informed.
Trish:Decision.
Trish:I also recommend that you start interviewing doulas in your first trimester.
Trish:A good doula isn't just someone who shows up for your birth.
Trish:They're your guide throughout pregnancy, and you need to actually connect with them.
Trish:So I recommend you meet them in person over coffee, nothing stressful.
Trish:They're gonna be helping you navigate decisions and preparing for your birth.
Trish:But here's the secret, most people.
Trish:Miss.
Trish:You need to prepare your entire support system, not just your birth team.
Trish:And then when it comes to a doula, I know a lot of you guys cannot afford a doula.
Trish:Some of you, your insurance covers them, but some of you have to come out of pocket.
Trish:This is why we have our labor bat signal because we want you to be supported by the entire team.
Trish:That also means having conversations with family members about your choices, setting boundaries about unsolicited advice.
Trish:Because that gets real and making sure everyone understands their role.
Trish:Secret number six is the most important one, and it's something that most moms completely ignore.
Trish:I work on my mindset.
Trish:From day one of pregnancy, because here's the truth, birth is 90% mental.
Trish:Your mindset going into labor will determine your experience more than any other factor.
Trish:If you're terrified, your body will respond with tension and fear.
Trish:If you're confident and you're prepared, your body will work with you, not against you.
Trish:So starting in my first trimester, I do daily affirmations.
Trish:I pray.
Trish:I read my Bible.
Trish:I visualize my ideal birth.
Trish:I practice breathing techniques.
Trish:I work on releasing fear and building confidence, and all of that can help you.
Trish:Whether you're stressed at work, you're in your doctor's appointment.
Trish:It will all work to build a better birth.
Trish:One of my students was absolutely terrified of birth after hearing horror stories from all the ladies at work, her friends and her family.
Trish:So we began to work on her mindset throughout her pregnancy, and by the time she went into labor, she was so stinking excited.
Trish:At the beginning of pregnancy, she was getting.
Trish:A planned C-section.
Trish:That was her goal.
Trish:She wasn't scared though by the end of pregnancy, and she went to 41 in weeks and three days, and she had a beautiful unmedicated empowering birth that she describes as the best day of her life.
Trish:But here's what's really important.
Trish:You cannot wait until you're in labor.
Trish:When those contractions start to work on your mindset, fear and anxiety that build up over the entire pregnancy.
Trish:Don't just disappear in the delivery room.
Trish:So I teach my students to replace every negative birth story.
Trish:We call it flip in the script, and.
Trish:Replace it with a positive one for every birth is the worst pain you'll ever experience.
Trish:I want them to hear.
Trish:Birth is the most powerful thing you'll ever do.
Trish:The first trimester is when you set the foundation for how you're gonna think about birth for the rest of your pregnancy.
Trish:Now for secret number seven, the one that's going to blow your mind, I start planning for postpartum recovery at eight weeks pregnant.
Trish:This is the secret that most doctors will never tell you because they're so focused on getting you through your pregnancy and birth and not what happens after.
Trish:But here's the truth.
Trish:Your postpartum recovery can make or break your entire experience.
Trish:And I'm not just talking about buying newborn clothes and setting up a nursery, I'm talking about preparing for the physical, emotional, and mental challenges of the fourth trimester.
Trish:In my first trimester.
Trish:I start researching postpartum support.
Trish:I line up help for the first few weeks.
Trish:I prepare my home for recovery.
Trish:I start.
Trish:In the beginning, buying supplies every single week, so I stock up on supplies that will help my family, but also help me heal because if my home is ready, I am going to heal better because I won't overthink, I also start thinking about my breastfeeding experience, if that's how I prefer to feed, or if you're thinking about bottle feeding and what support I'll need for that.
Trish:One of my students spent her entire pregnancy focused on birth, and even though we encouraged her to think about postpartum, she didn't do it until after baby arrived and she ended up with.
Trish:Severe postpartum depression.
Trish:Now, she did come to our postpartum hangouts, but she would share how she was struggling with breastfeeding because she wasn't prepared.
Trish:She didn't have an I-B-C-L-C lined up, and I recommend you see one before you have babies and I have some recommendations.
Trish:Now everyone won't have that experience, but being prepared is never a miss.
Trish:Stake and preparation makes a huge difference.
Trish:But here's what most people don't realize.
Trish:A difficult postpartum recovery can overshadow even the most beautiful birth.
Trish:But when you're prepared, when you have support in place, when you know what to expect, you can actually enjoy those precious early weeks with your baby instead of having to do all the things and worry about all the things that weren't.
Trish:Ready.
Trish:The first trimester is the perfect time to start planning this because girl, hopefully you have the energy and mental clarity that you might not later in pregnancy.
Trish:Listen, mama.
Trish:These seven secrets aren't just tips.
Trish:They're about a complete mindset shift about how to approach pregnancy, your birth, and your postpartum.
Trish:You don't have to be a passive patient who just shows up and goes along with whatever happens.
Trish:You can be the boss of your birth experience.
Trish:And if you wanna dive deeper into this, I've created the most comprehensive birth education available,
Trish:my calm labor birth bundle includes everything you need from the start of your pregnancy throughout your postpartum.
Trish:And this will allow you to be able to be the queen of your birth and have the birth of your dreams.
Trish:So go below to the link or go to labor nurse mama.com/calm.
Trish:'cause I want you to be calm and I'll send you all the details.
Trish:And if you're not ready for the full course yet, be sure that you hit subscribe.
Trish:And if you're watching the video on YouTube, hit that notification bell because I'm dropping new content every week that will help you prepare for the most empowering experience of your life.
Trish:Remember, your body was made for this baby, and this baby was made for your body.
Trish:You've got this, and I'm here to help you every step of the way.
Trish:Okay, mama.
Trish:I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I want you to remember your body was made for this baby, and this baby was made for your body.
Trish:You've got this, and I'm here with you every step of the way.
Trish:As always, hit subscribe, leave a review, and I will see you again next Friday.
Trish:Bye for now.
