Ben Newman, bestselling author, international speaker, and high-level performance coach, talks about taking yourself back to an emotional moment in time, breaking down your own game film, repeating what makes you great, shares a few stories about Tom Brady, Ray Lewis, and more, and above all, explains the need to keep fighting.
Ben Newman, his expertise is in the area of mental
Host:toughness, and ultra performance, and it's cool, he
Host:works in business, but he also works with sports teams like the
Host:Rams in the NFL, he's worked with the chargers and the
Host:cowboys and the Rams. And he has been a performance coach for the
Host:North Dakota State bison who won a national championship and the
Host:Mizzou basketball team, he shared the stage with people
Host:like Jerry Rice, and you know, Ray Lewis. And so here he is. So
Host:Ben, welcome to the show.
Ben Newman:Thank you so much for that introduction. That's
Ben Newman:amazing to have this opportunity to be with all your listeners.
Ben Newman:But one thing I want to add to that bio, because you're
Ben Newman:highlighting the good stuff, is I have tried to fight to get
Ben Newman:better every single day. And I've always found that when we
Ben Newman:get knocked down, that's when we really learn what we're made of.
Ben Newman:So I'm excited to learn from you and excited to be with all your
Ben Newman:listeners.
Host:So let's talk about getting knocked down. First of
Host:all, just since we're on the topic of the NFL, and I know
Host:that like you only work with teams in the NFL, but that
Host:you've got a good little roster there. And I know specifically
Host:one of the things you do is you work with the rookies, but how
Host:do you prepare a rookie mentally for the NFL? Like what's that
Host:like?
Ben Newman:So I'll share it with you go from, you know,
Ben Newman:playing in college where there's hundreds of teams to 32 teams,
Ben Newman:and it's the best in the world. But there's one caveat I want to
Ben Newman:add. And it's where I often spend a lot of time with
Ben Newman:athletes, and I'm going to relate it back to all the
Ben Newman:listeners, you're also fighting for a job you don't think about
Ben Newman:in college. You know, it's the love of the game. It's the
Ben Newman:passion for the game, these rookies even drafted guys, right
Ben Newman:seven rounds in the draft. Sometimes they show up. And
Ben Newman:there are people fighting to take their job, they don't care
Ben Newman:where you were drafted, you are looking at a depth chart to
Ben Newman:determine how good you are. And it's easy to get distracted in
Ben Newman:terms of your focus. And then these men who are bigger and
Ben Newman:stronger and have the experience, they want to hit you
Ben Newman:as hard as they can, because you're not a teammate yet. I
Ben Newman:want to take your job. And I think sometimes we as
Ben Newman:individuals, no matter what we're doing, we get we get
Ben Newman:distracted, right? We get distracted from what we're
Ben Newman:supposed to do. So what I always encourage athletes to do and
Ben Newman:really for the listeners, everybody listening, if I was
Ben Newman:sitting one on one with you, you could describe a period of time
Ben Newman:in your career where you have been most successful. You could
Ben Newman:take me back and tell me what that emotion felt like what your
Ben Newman:behaviors look like what your belief felt like. And that's
Ben Newman:what I do with these athletes. I say forget about the
Ben Newman:distractions, we got to clear the clutter. Do not worry about
Ben Newman:a depth chart, focus on what it looks like for you to be your
Ben Newman:best. And we've had the blessing of working with many
Ben Newman:individuals. I actually wrote an article for Forbes you guys can
Ben Newman:check it out. It's called Heart harnessing the power of your
Ben Newman:vision about will Compton and Wilcoxon was an undrafted, free
Ben Newman:agent. Everything I just shared, I did with him the first time we
Ben Newman:ever met. He was an undrafted, free agent out of University of
Ben Newman:Nebraska. Fast forward four years, starting middle
Ben Newman:linebacker for the Washington Redskins, and he's their
Ben Newman:defensive captain. And literally the first time we met everything
Ben Newman:I just said, Tell me what made you a captain and Nebraska
Ben Newman:helped me understand the feeling and emotion. What do you believe
Ben Newman:and forget about the things you can't control, we actually use a
Ben Newman:technique that I call your emotional trigger. So we
Ben Newman:actually take that player back to that ideal state, I want to
Ben Newman:feel the emotion tell me what the grass felt like under your
Ben Newman:feet. Tell me what the sweat felt like dripping down your
Ben Newman:nose. And the moment you put your hand on the ground before
Ben Newman:they snapped that football. What did it feel like? And where was
Ben Newman:your belief system? I want to take you right there. So think
Ben Newman:about it. Let's take one of your listeners right now who's in
Ben Newman:sales. And right now they are stressed about a big target.
Ben Newman:They're stressed about a big quota. And we take them to that
Ben Newman:moment they can see it, they can feel it. And then we actually
Ben Newman:say, Hey, Ben and I are going to sit back and we're just going to
Ben Newman:listen, and we listen to all that emotion. The follow up
Ben Newman:question then becomes what were you not thinking about? When you
Ben Newman:were in that state of telling me how great that moment was? Well,
Ben Newman:I'm not thinking about the quota. I'm not thinking about
Ben Newman:the stress. You see, we all have the ability to control our
Ben Newman:thoughts and our mindset. If you focus on the stress of the
Ben Newman:quota, you'll be stressed out by the quota. If you get yourself
Ben Newman:into a mindset where I can say all I can control is one dial at
Ben Newman:a time. I'll be locked in up just like a football player. I'm
Ben Newman:locked in and focus six seconds to play. I'm locked in and so
Ben Newman:Just one dial at a time. And I'm gonna give my love my passion,
Ben Newman:my energy from my work to this phone call. And when I'm done
Ben Newman:with this phone call, I'm gonna go to the next. And I'm not
Ben Newman:gonna worry about the last one or the next one, I'm gonna worry
Ben Newman:about this one right now. So when you're thinking about
Ben Newman:getting into that state, we silence the noise, we silence
Ben Newman:the distraction, and we can focus.
Host:So when you talk about a rookie, one of the things you
Host:said kind of earlier going backwards was you talked about
Host:focus on what it looks like to be your best. I'm curious about
Host:this competing versus yourself, versus competing against other
Host:people in the world of professional sports. Do you
Host:think that both of those exists? Is one better than the other?
Host:And is there more of one than the other?
Ben Newman:Every NFL team 32 teams, every one of their goals
Ben Newman:to win the Super Bowl, you know, no team is gonna say, you know,
Ben Newman:our goal is that we lose every football game this year, I hope
Ben Newman:it's just a terrible season, right? I mean, everybody, every
Ben Newman:team wants to win the Super Bowl, Every team wants to crush
Ben Newman:the competition. But the reality is, that's just the goal. The
Ben Newman:only way that we can tackle that goal is for each individual on
Ben Newman:that team, to give their very best, it's for each individual
Ben Newman:to say, for my position, this is what I'm responsible for. And
Ben Newman:I'm gonna take personal responsibility for the action I
Ben Newman:need to take in terms of how I break down my game film, the
Ben Newman:nutrition I put in my body because of the energy that it
Ben Newman:produces, to the effort that I put forth in the field, to the
Ben Newman:effort that I put forth in the weight room, to the effort I put
Ben Newman:forth in terms of my vision and my belief system. Once you've
Ben Newman:designed that, it comes down to the choices that you make every
Ben Newman:day. And that's between you and you. And I shared the stage in
Ben Newman:Vegas last year with Jerry Rice. And before Jerry and I took the
Ben Newman:stage Jerry looks at me and he says, You know what, then I've
Ben Newman:never been able to understand how could somebody not give 100%
Ben Newman:When it's 100% their choice. So to me, if a team's gonna crush
Ben Newman:the competition, they're gonna win the Superbowl. Everybody has
Ben Newman:to be locked in one heartbeat with a mentality, they're all
Ben Newman:going to give their best, the vision, the crush the
Ben Newman:competition, that's the goal. But I think these high
Ben Newman:performers that have told you we want to crush the competition,
Ben Newman:they're still focused on their accountability every day and
Ben Newman:doing their work. They're doing it 100% of the time, the high
Ben Newman:performers.
Host:And you think that, you know, like, I think of Ray
Host:Lewis, and pardon me, just goes, surely there's some part of that
Host:guy that's just thinking about just killing somebody, like just
Host:crushing, like just going out and just demolishing somebody.
Ben Newman:Ray and I last year, we're having a conversation
Ben Newman:about what it takes to be great. Will Compton who I mentioned
Ben Newman:earlier was at this event Ray and I were speaking at, we're
Ben Newman:sitting before the event starts Ray literally walks right over
Ben Newman:to Wilkinson, and completely ignores that I'm sitting there
Ben Newman:because it was his opportunity to mentor well, he puts one hand
Ben Newman:on each knee. And if any of you ever seen a Ray Lewis video, I
Ben Newman:mean, the veins are popping out of his neck fire in his eyes.
Ben Newman:I'm thinking what in the world is about to happen right here.
Ben Newman:And he looked at Wisconsin, and he said, Well, are you ready for
Ben Newman:me to take you to school, he said, I'm going to share with
Ben Newman:you when I found the difference. He said the difference for me is
Ben Newman:when I started taking personal responsibility for myself, I
Ben Newman:broke down my own game film. And when I did that, early on in my
Ben Newman:career, I recognized that when I was playing four yards off the
Ben Newman:line, I was nasty. But when I stepped up one yard to three
Ben Newman:yards off the line, they didn't know what to do with me. He said
Ben Newman:we know the rest of the story, don't we comp, and he's the
Ben Newman:greatest linebacker to ever play the game. Super Bowl champions,
Ben Newman:Super Bowl MVP. So the question for all the listeners is, when
Ben Newman:is the last time you broke down your game film? When's the last
Ben Newman:time we slowed down in this fast paced world we live in to say,
Ben Newman:what makes you great? And what if you repeat what makes you
Ben Newman:great? And what if you look at areas of opportunity, and you
Ben Newman:try to get better every day to get great in that area, too.
Ben Newman:That's how we increase our performance. So So picture this
Ben Newman:first time John Gordon, I ever shared the stage, it's 2008. We
Ben Newman:had about 350 people in the room. My mentor, right? We've
Ben Newman:never shared the stage together. He's never heard me speak live.
Ben Newman:And all of a sudden, we get to the end of the talk. And I'm
Ben Newman:like ready for the feedback like John like, how did I do? And he
Ben Newman:looks at me, and he says, Ben, Ben, I love you, man. The
Ben Newman:message was great. But man, you are serious as a heart attack.
Ben Newman:He's like, Did you realize that you're allowed to laugh and
Ben Newman:smile and tell jokes? And I think like, where are we in
Ben Newman:life? If we don't have those people who are there to make us
Ben Newman:better? And I didn't I didn't fight John on that. I said, I do
Ben Newman:need to be myself. I was being too tense from the stage. I
Ben Newman:wasn't letting my natural character and my goofy side
Ben Newman:sometimes come out. So now all I want to do I want to connect
Ben Newman:with people in the audience, because I'm trying to be my best
Ben Newman:because I've got mental was trying to help take me there. So
Ben Newman:it didn't that coaching is so important that breaking down the
Ben Newman:game, but the willingness to take the feedback and to act on
Ben Newman:it. That's how we improve.
Host:Yeah, let's talk about star players for a second, you
Host:have this dynamic this balance between the team performing and
Host:the team winning. But then you have star players, how does a
Host:team full of people who are performing at the highest level
Host:these ultra performers, should there not be star players?
Host:Should it just be the team? And that's all that matters? Or is
Host:it okay?
Ben Newman:Absolutely. I'll give you the example of Tom
Ben Newman:Brady. You know, if you look at Tom Brady, some people hate the
Ben Newman:guy, some people love the guy, but that is the greatest NFL
Ben Newman:player to ever walk the face of the earth. And he is humble. He
Ben Newman:is always about the team. He never takes it about him. And he
Ben Newman:works his butt off. I had the opportunity to be in there with
Ben Newman:the Patriots, I had mentored one of their running backs. And so I
Ben Newman:got the party on the field with them, I got to see the approach
Ben Newman:to the you know, how they prepared for the game. And, and
Ben Newman:I'm telling you, Tom Brady has a focus and a demeanor about him
Ben Newman:that allows other people to follow and to work harder, he
Ben Newman:makes people around him better, because he doesn't have a big
Ben Newman:ego. There's not a lot of swagger. It's all about the
Ben Newman:team. And it's all about being the best. And I think the more
Ben Newman:that star performers have that mentality, I'm here for us to
Ben Newman:work as a unit to get better. No team in the history of football
Ben Newman:has ever won a game with a quarterback and no defense and
Ben Newman:no offensive lineman or wide receivers, one player against
Ben Newman:11. It's never happened, it never will happen. It can't
Ben Newman:happen. And Tom Brady's taken that approach, and no matter
Ben Newman:what players they surround him with, he just wants to get
Ben Newman:better. And he wants to work as hard as them. The greatest teams
Ben Newman:recognize that not one person is more important than another. Not
Ben Newman:one person is more important. So think about even for me for our
Ben Newman:company, I'm no, I'm not more important than anybody else.
Ben Newman:Because the reality is, you know, we have employees, and we
Ben Newman:have subcontractors and people who help us run our business.
Ben Newman:Everybody's equally as important. It doesn't matter
Ben Newman:that I'm the one who's with the players, or I'm the one who's on
Ben Newman:the stage. We all have to do our job we all have to perform in
Ben Newman:order to have an impact on somebody's life.
Host:But you know, do you think jealousy is a big deal on the
Host:team? You think that kind of stuff comes up?
Ben Newman:That is one of the issues I deal with a lot. You
Ben Newman:know, a lot of the conversations I have are things that I really
Ben Newman:can't get into, on on an interview, things of that
Ben Newman:nature. But you can imagine that in real business or sports, but
Ben Newman:you know, those are the conversations when we can really
Ben Newman:help somebody is when you tell me what's really on your mind
Ben Newman:that's holding you back. It Oh, don't just tell me how amazing
Ben Newman:of a practice you had. Tell me when you're literally struggling
Ben Newman:with the fact that the guy next to you who you know, you're
Ben Newman:better than is making three times as much money. Tell me
Ben Newman:that that's bothering you so that we can have a conversation
Ben Newman:to get past it. No different than one of your listeners right
Ben Newman:now, who's somebody who's been there 10 years in a company that
Ben Newman:maybe doesn't believe in meritocracy, there's somebody
Ben Newman:who you're a better performer than them. Yet, at the point
Ben Newman:where you're at in your career, you're making less money, but
Ben Newman:all we can control is to stay in our lane and to wait for our
Ben Newman:time. Because all I want for all your listeners is to say, when
Ben Newman:my opportunity comes, I've done everything I can control one day
Ben Newman:at a time, I stayed in my lane and I continued to believe in
Ben Newman:myself. It doesn't matter what anybody else does. Because when
Ben Newman:the time is ready and the opportunities there, they're
Ben Newman:going to look and say this guy or this gal gave it their best
Ben Newman:every day. James 112 One of my favorite verses blessed as the
Ben Newman:man I'll say man or woman who perseveres under trial for when
Ben Newman:they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life
Ben Newman:that God has promised to those who love them. Every single one
Ben Newman:of you listening right now God has given you everything that
Ben Newman:you need to write your story. Take it not not one book at a
Ben Newman:time, not one chapter at a time. Take that pen and go one word at
Ben Newman:a time and focus and be intentional with that word. Stay
Ben Newman:in your lane and know you've got everything you need to have an
Ben Newman:impact in the world.
Host:Powerful stuff. Where should people go if they want to
Host:connect with you and and learn more about mental toughness and
Host:peak performance?
Ben Newman:Come follow us on Instagram at ContinuedFight
Ben Newman:Twitter as at ContnuedFight. My mother who passed 11 days before
Ben Newman:my eighth birthday. She's the legacy that I fight for every
Ben Newman:single day to keep writing her story. And she taught me the
Ben Newman:greatest life lesson I've ever learned. And that's why we say
Ben Newman:at continued fight. It's not how long you live. It's how you
Ben Newman:choose to live your life. So keep fighting. Let's rise up
Ben Newman:together and keep writing your story.
Host:Ben Newman, thanks for being here. And hey, keep keep
Host:fighting the fight.
Ben Newman:Thank you so much. Keep fighting the good fight as well.