Ben Newman, bestselling author, international speaker, and high-level performance coach, talks about taking yourself back to an emotional moment in time, breaking down your own game film, repeating what makes you great, shares a few stories about Tom Brady, Ray Lewis, and more, and above all, explains the need to keep fighting.

Ben Newman, his expertise is in the area of mental

toughness, and ultra performance, and it's cool, he

works in business, but he also works with sports teams like the

Rams in the NFL, he's worked with the chargers and the

cowboys and the Rams. And he has been a performance coach for the

North Dakota State bison who won a national championship and the

Mizzou basketball team, he shared the stage with people

like Jerry Rice, and you know, Ray Lewis. And so here he is. So

Ben, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for that introduction. That's

amazing to have this opportunity to be with all your listeners.

But one thing I want to add to that bio, because you're

highlighting the good stuff, is I have tried to fight to get

better every single day. And I've always found that when we

get knocked down, that's when we really learn what we're made of.

So I'm excited to learn from you and excited to be with all your

listeners.

So let's talk about getting knocked down. First of

all, just since we're on the topic of the NFL, and I know

that like you only work with teams in the NFL, but that

you've got a good little roster there. And I know specifically

one of the things you do is you work with the rookies, but how

do you prepare a rookie mentally for the NFL? Like what's that

like?

So I'll share it with you go from, you know,

playing in college where there's hundreds of teams to 32 teams,

and it's the best in the world. But there's one caveat I want to

add. And it's where I often spend a lot of time with

athletes, and I'm going to relate it back to all the

listeners, you're also fighting for a job you don't think about

in college. You know, it's the love of the game. It's the

passion for the game, these rookies even drafted guys, right

seven rounds in the draft. Sometimes they show up. And

there are people fighting to take their job, they don't care

where you were drafted, you are looking at a depth chart to

determine how good you are. And it's easy to get distracted in

terms of your focus. And then these men who are bigger and

stronger and have the experience, they want to hit you

as hard as they can, because you're not a teammate yet. I

want to take your job. And I think sometimes we as

individuals, no matter what we're doing, we get we get

distracted, right? We get distracted from what we're

supposed to do. So what I always encourage athletes to do and

really for the listeners, everybody listening, if I was

sitting one on one with you, you could describe a period of time

in your career where you have been most successful. You could

take me back and tell me what that emotion felt like what your

behaviors look like what your belief felt like. And that's

what I do with these athletes. I say forget about the

distractions, we got to clear the clutter. Do not worry about

a depth chart, focus on what it looks like for you to be your

best. And we've had the blessing of working with many

individuals. I actually wrote an article for Forbes you guys can

check it out. It's called Heart harnessing the power of your

vision about will Compton and Wilcoxon was an undrafted, free

agent. Everything I just shared, I did with him the first time we

ever met. He was an undrafted, free agent out of University of

Nebraska. Fast forward four years, starting middle

linebacker for the Washington Redskins, and he's their

defensive captain. And literally the first time we met everything

I just said, Tell me what made you a captain and Nebraska

helped me understand the feeling and emotion. What do you believe

and forget about the things you can't control, we actually use a

technique that I call your emotional trigger. So we

actually take that player back to that ideal state, I want to

feel the emotion tell me what the grass felt like under your

feet. Tell me what the sweat felt like dripping down your

nose. And the moment you put your hand on the ground before

they snapped that football. What did it feel like? And where was

your belief system? I want to take you right there. So think

about it. Let's take one of your listeners right now who's in

sales. And right now they are stressed about a big target.

They're stressed about a big quota. And we take them to that

moment they can see it, they can feel it. And then we actually

say, Hey, Ben and I are going to sit back and we're just going to

listen, and we listen to all that emotion. The follow up

question then becomes what were you not thinking about? When you

were in that state of telling me how great that moment was? Well,

I'm not thinking about the quota. I'm not thinking about

the stress. You see, we all have the ability to control our

thoughts and our mindset. If you focus on the stress of the

quota, you'll be stressed out by the quota. If you get yourself

into a mindset where I can say all I can control is one dial at

a time. I'll be locked in up just like a football player. I'm

locked in and focus six seconds to play. I'm locked in and so

Just one dial at a time. And I'm gonna give my love my passion,

my energy from my work to this phone call. And when I'm done

with this phone call, I'm gonna go to the next. And I'm not

gonna worry about the last one or the next one, I'm gonna worry

about this one right now. So when you're thinking about

getting into that state, we silence the noise, we silence

the distraction, and we can focus.

So when you talk about a rookie, one of the things you

said kind of earlier going backwards was you talked about

focus on what it looks like to be your best. I'm curious about

this competing versus yourself, versus competing against other

people in the world of professional sports. Do you

think that both of those exists? Is one better than the other?

And is there more of one than the other?

Every NFL team 32 teams, every one of their goals

to win the Super Bowl, you know, no team is gonna say, you know,

our goal is that we lose every football game this year, I hope

it's just a terrible season, right? I mean, everybody, every

team wants to win the Super Bowl, Every team wants to crush

the competition. But the reality is, that's just the goal. The

only way that we can tackle that goal is for each individual on

that team, to give their very best, it's for each individual

to say, for my position, this is what I'm responsible for. And

I'm gonna take personal responsibility for the action I

need to take in terms of how I break down my game film, the

nutrition I put in my body because of the energy that it

produces, to the effort that I put forth in the field, to the

effort that I put forth in the weight room, to the effort I put

forth in terms of my vision and my belief system. Once you've

designed that, it comes down to the choices that you make every

day. And that's between you and you. And I shared the stage in

Vegas last year with Jerry Rice. And before Jerry and I took the

stage Jerry looks at me and he says, You know what, then I've

never been able to understand how could somebody not give 100%

When it's 100% their choice. So to me, if a team's gonna crush

the competition, they're gonna win the Superbowl. Everybody has

to be locked in one heartbeat with a mentality, they're all

going to give their best, the vision, the crush the

competition, that's the goal. But I think these high

performers that have told you we want to crush the competition,

they're still focused on their accountability every day and

doing their work. They're doing it 100% of the time, the high

performers.

And you think that, you know, like, I think of Ray

Lewis, and pardon me, just goes, surely there's some part of that

guy that's just thinking about just killing somebody, like just

crushing, like just going out and just demolishing somebody.

Ray and I last year, we're having a conversation

about what it takes to be great. Will Compton who I mentioned

earlier was at this event Ray and I were speaking at, we're

sitting before the event starts Ray literally walks right over

to Wilkinson, and completely ignores that I'm sitting there

because it was his opportunity to mentor well, he puts one hand

on each knee. And if any of you ever seen a Ray Lewis video, I

mean, the veins are popping out of his neck fire in his eyes.

I'm thinking what in the world is about to happen right here.

And he looked at Wisconsin, and he said, Well, are you ready for

me to take you to school, he said, I'm going to share with

you when I found the difference. He said the difference for me is

when I started taking personal responsibility for myself, I

broke down my own game film. And when I did that, early on in my

career, I recognized that when I was playing four yards off the

line, I was nasty. But when I stepped up one yard to three

yards off the line, they didn't know what to do with me. He said

we know the rest of the story, don't we comp, and he's the

greatest linebacker to ever play the game. Super Bowl champions,

Super Bowl MVP. So the question for all the listeners is, when

is the last time you broke down your game film? When's the last

time we slowed down in this fast paced world we live in to say,

what makes you great? And what if you repeat what makes you

great? And what if you look at areas of opportunity, and you

try to get better every day to get great in that area, too.

That's how we increase our performance. So So picture this

first time John Gordon, I ever shared the stage, it's 2008. We

had about 350 people in the room. My mentor, right? We've

never shared the stage together. He's never heard me speak live.

And all of a sudden, we get to the end of the talk. And I'm

like ready for the feedback like John like, how did I do? And he

looks at me, and he says, Ben, Ben, I love you, man. The

message was great. But man, you are serious as a heart attack.

He's like, Did you realize that you're allowed to laugh and

smile and tell jokes? And I think like, where are we in

life? If we don't have those people who are there to make us

better? And I didn't I didn't fight John on that. I said, I do

need to be myself. I was being too tense from the stage. I

wasn't letting my natural character and my goofy side

sometimes come out. So now all I want to do I want to connect

with people in the audience, because I'm trying to be my best

because I've got mental was trying to help take me there. So

it didn't that coaching is so important that breaking down the

game, but the willingness to take the feedback and to act on

it. That's how we improve.

Yeah, let's talk about star players for a second, you

have this dynamic this balance between the team performing and

the team winning. But then you have star players, how does a

team full of people who are performing at the highest level

these ultra performers, should there not be star players?

Should it just be the team? And that's all that matters? Or is

it okay?

Absolutely. I'll give you the example of Tom

Brady. You know, if you look at Tom Brady, some people hate the

guy, some people love the guy, but that is the greatest NFL

player to ever walk the face of the earth. And he is humble. He

is always about the team. He never takes it about him. And he

works his butt off. I had the opportunity to be in there with

the Patriots, I had mentored one of their running backs. And so I

got the party on the field with them, I got to see the approach

to the you know, how they prepared for the game. And, and

I'm telling you, Tom Brady has a focus and a demeanor about him

that allows other people to follow and to work harder, he

makes people around him better, because he doesn't have a big

ego. There's not a lot of swagger. It's all about the

team. And it's all about being the best. And I think the more

that star performers have that mentality, I'm here for us to

work as a unit to get better. No team in the history of football

has ever won a game with a quarterback and no defense and

no offensive lineman or wide receivers, one player against

11. It's never happened, it never will happen. It can't

happen. And Tom Brady's taken that approach, and no matter

what players they surround him with, he just wants to get

better. And he wants to work as hard as them. The greatest teams

recognize that not one person is more important than another. Not

one person is more important. So think about even for me for our

company, I'm no, I'm not more important than anybody else.

Because the reality is, you know, we have employees, and we

have subcontractors and people who help us run our business.

Everybody's equally as important. It doesn't matter

that I'm the one who's with the players, or I'm the one who's on

the stage. We all have to do our job we all have to perform in

order to have an impact on somebody's life.

But you know, do you think jealousy is a big deal on the

team? You think that kind of stuff comes up?

That is one of the issues I deal with a lot. You

know, a lot of the conversations I have are things that I really

can't get into, on on an interview, things of that

nature. But you can imagine that in real business or sports, but

you know, those are the conversations when we can really

help somebody is when you tell me what's really on your mind

that's holding you back. It Oh, don't just tell me how amazing

of a practice you had. Tell me when you're literally struggling

with the fact that the guy next to you who you know, you're

better than is making three times as much money. Tell me

that that's bothering you so that we can have a conversation

to get past it. No different than one of your listeners right

now, who's somebody who's been there 10 years in a company that

maybe doesn't believe in meritocracy, there's somebody

who you're a better performer than them. Yet, at the point

where you're at in your career, you're making less money, but

all we can control is to stay in our lane and to wait for our

time. Because all I want for all your listeners is to say, when

my opportunity comes, I've done everything I can control one day

at a time, I stayed in my lane and I continued to believe in

myself. It doesn't matter what anybody else does. Because when

the time is ready and the opportunities there, they're

going to look and say this guy or this gal gave it their best

every day. James 112 One of my favorite verses blessed as the

man I'll say man or woman who perseveres under trial for when

they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life

that God has promised to those who love them. Every single one

of you listening right now God has given you everything that

you need to write your story. Take it not not one book at a

time, not one chapter at a time. Take that pen and go one word at

a time and focus and be intentional with that word. Stay

in your lane and know you've got everything you need to have an

impact in the world.

Powerful stuff. Where should people go if they want to

connect with you and and learn more about mental toughness and

peak performance?

Come follow us on Instagram at ContinuedFight

Twitter as at ContnuedFight. My mother who passed 11 days before

my eighth birthday. She's the legacy that I fight for every

single day to keep writing her story. And she taught me the

greatest life lesson I've ever learned. And that's why we say

at continued fight. It's not how long you live. It's how you

choose to live your life. So keep fighting. Let's rise up

together and keep writing your story.

Ben Newman, thanks for being here. And hey, keep keep

fighting the fight.

Thank you so much. Keep fighting the good fight as well.