OUR HOSTS: 

Corinne Foxx - @corinnefoxx

Natalie McMillan - @nataliemcm and @shopnataliemcmillan 

What we're drinking: 2020 Storm Sauvignon Blanc 

MEET OUR GUEST: 

Danielle Bayard Jackson - @daniellebayardjackson, @friendforward, and  betterfemalefriendships.com 

ABOUT OUR GUEST: 

Danielle Bayard Jackson is a certified friendship coach and national speaker dedicated to teaching women how to create and maintain meaningful female friendships. She founded Friend Forward, a platform for  teaching women how to create and sustain meaningful friendships. As a member of the American Sociological Association, Danielle uses the latest research to create practical, tangible strategies to help women create more depth in their platonic relationships. 

TOPIC: 

Research shows that your social network expands exponentially until about the age of 25 and then begins to slowly decline as we enter the workforce and settle into adulthood. It can feel difficult and uncomfortable to make friends when you’re not in a classroom or dorm, so we invited Danielle on to talk about how to develop meaningful friendships later in life, as well as maintain connections from childhood and college. She shares how she transitioned from an English teacher to certified relationship coach, and what her time as a high school teacher taught her about friendship patterns. She shares the biggest mindset barriers that she sees when it comes to making new friends, what tends to keep us stuck in our bubbles, and how to use your current network to make new friends. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Confronting the false expectations of what we think friendships should be
• Common challenges when it comes to making a new friend as an adult
• The natural friendship pruning that takes place throughout life
• Putting the effort into staying connected with friends when you feel like you’re drifting apart 
• Practicing principles of romantic relationships in platonic friendships 
• The difference between making new friends and meeting new people 
• Setting up novel, active experiences to do with other people instead of going out for drinks or a meal 

RESOURCES MENTIONED: 

• What do you do when you're the friend who's always initiating
• 5 Reasons You Feel Lonely EVEN THOUGH You Have Friends   
• Episode 26: Navigating Adult Friendships, How to Set Boundaries, and Break Up With Toxic Friends 
• Episode 61: Navigating Adult Relationships With Your Parents

END OF THE SHOW: 

Corinne and Natalie introduce Hotties of the Week: Amy Poehler and Tina Fey

WINE RATING:

2020 Storm Sauvignon Blanc = 8.5 / Amy Poehler and Tina Fey

WRAP UP:

To wrap up the episode, of course we had to play the BFF Quiz. Nat asks Corinne to name one thing that she’s embarrassed to admit she wants to try, and Corinne asks Nat if she’s proud of what she’s doing with her heart and time right now. 

We have a brand new newsletter for our Am I community. You can sign up for the newsletter on our website: amidoingthisrightpod.com

You can email us for episode ideas or Random Advice: amidoingthisrightpod@gmail.com

Follow us on Instagram: @amidoingthisrightpod 

Don't forget to rate and review the podcast! It really helps us grow!

[00:00:05] Natalie McMillan: And I'm Natalie McMillan.

[00:00:17] Natalie McMillan: And each week we cover a new topic and we drink a new bottle of wine.

Yeah. As an adult, it's weird. It's weird. It feels weird. Yeah. We're going to be talking to Danielle about the common barriers of making friends in adulthood, her tips for developing meaningful friendships later in life and how to maintain relationships. Oh, the friends,

[00:01:07] Corinne Foxx: not buy gas.

What are you going to toss to me?

[00:01:14] Danielle Bayard Jackson: to that.

[00:01:18] Danielle Bayard Jackson: I was like, sure. I was like, we need a white.

Storm 20, 27 year old rock from Santa Ynez valley. Oh, you're

[00:01:46] Danielle Bayard Jackson: it.

[00:01:56] Corinne Foxx: sorry, I'm still learning how to do that. Um, I won't be doing this very much, but yes, you never know. Okay.

[00:02:06] Danielle Bayard Jackson: oh,

[00:02:10] Corinne Foxx: He goes, I swear to God. I do not do that on purpose. It's just the word I want

It has to, we have to have more. Interesting. So, yeah,

[00:02:29] Natalie McMillan: One of them definitely. Interesting. And then we've also something has to say citizens

[00:02:32] Corinne Foxx: citizen's arrest, but I feel like it would be great on a coffee mug.

[00:02:40] Corinne Foxx: on that. Is there anything else you'd want on our emerge that, like we say all the time or is like an AMI, like inside joke, please let us know because we are actively developing that.

So Corinne and I. We're on a podcast

[00:03:06] Natalie McMillan: for like

[00:03:08] Corinne Foxx: Yeah. We were guests on another podcast

[00:03:16] Danielle Bayard Jackson: to Photoshop us together.

No. Can I say Natalie? You did a great job. Thank you so much. It's a photo of both of us only. It's a separate photo shoot. Not only on a photo shoot in a power suit. I had a photo shoot in a power suit and then. Cut around us and put us together.

And I had to like do this whole thing and then Corinne's shoulder was like blurry. So I had to like put my shoulder, it was this whole thing. And I'm like, Insanity.

We need like went on like trips together and we don't even have usable photos from bellows,

[00:04:08] Corinne Foxx: We're very in the moment, very in the moment, but Elsa now it's becoming a business liability. It

[00:04:20] Corinne Foxx: You guys can look at this, but I think it's done really

We pulled it off.

[00:04:31] Natalie McMillan: it looks exactly. Exactly.

Awkward and uncomfortable to make friends in adulthood. I feel like it's like very similar to dating. It's like he going to ask you, um, you know, you don't wanna come off too strong. So I feel like Danielle is the perfect guest. The friendship coach specifically for like friendships and adulthood and as females and for females.

So she's the perfect person to talk to about this. And also you guys have been writing in about that. So it's all perfect.

She's been. And NBC news for her expertise. Her advice has been quoted in several other media outlets, including the wall street journal, the Washington post and insider, and she founded friend forward a platform dedicated to teaching women how to create and sustain meaningful friendships. She uses her teaching skills as a former high school teacher to coach women through ways to navigate common friendship conflicts as a member of the American sociological association.

Wow. I can't believe I said that right on the first time you

[00:06:06] Natalie McMillan: Danielle uses the latest research to create practical, tangible strategies to help women create more depth in their platonic relationships. She shares her insights weekly on the friend forward podcast, and you guys have got to check it out.

Hello, Dan? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:06:40] Corinne Foxx: thank you for being here. We're so excited when we came across you, we were like, this is the conversation we need to be having, because I feel like as we've gotten older, We've had to relearn how to make friends, you know, and you're not in college anymore.

You're not in high school anymore. You're not just living with people that are your friends. So it really, it is a skill you have to relearn.

So that's when people start to be like, wait a second. What's going on? So you're, you're in good company.

[00:07:41] Danielle Bayard Jackson: It's definitely, I would not have foreseen this. I certainly wasn't, you know, nine years old talking about how I wanted to put like a fringe of coaching on my vision board. So this was not a thing, but yeah, I was a high school English teacher for about six years, teaching juniors and seniors, and between classes and afterschool, the students would come to me, female students, and they'd be bringing like their issues.

And I didn't realize at the time I was coaching them through, but that's what was happening. I eventually left the classroom to get into public relations. And so foolishly, I made the mistake of thinking, oh, I'm leaving that drama behind with TV. And then I'm like, wow, here are very ambitious high achieving, intelligent, funny, charismatic women who are also talking about struggles.

They're having with other women who are their friends. And so I went home one night on Amazon, as one does. And out of curiosity, I searched friendship books and other few results that came up at the time. Most of them are for children. And I thought, oh, is that what we think of friendship that it's something a kid would need help with, but if you're an adult, you should have it figured out.

And so for the last four years I've been serving in a, in a friendship coaching role and it's been a blessing to have women trust me with something that's so tender, personal and important.

Adults are also struggling with this, then you kind of had to learn. Okay. Like what are the, the tools that one needs, or did you feel like you already kind of knew what that was.

I think the reason I am so effective in this space is because I used to be a really bad friend. So it's not like I was the girl who was always so fun and pleasant and always had a squad. And so now I'm going to teach other women. It was, I was a really bad friend, especially in high school, but I know firsthand what it's like tonight.

Friendships in order, I understand the consequences of, of being exclusive in your group and not being inviting or giving the silent treatment because you don't know how to talk through a conflict. I know what it's like to not have those skills and the ripple effect that it has on your relationships.

And so, because of that, I think it makes me hyper aware of the things we need to get right. In our, in our friendships has no. Yeah, I think

And then someone was like, oh, I've always just gotten it. Right. Because you know, I don't know. I feel like that's very high thinking of yourself. You know, we've all made mistakes. We've all been a bad friend at one point,

Yeah. But then also being around all these like teenage girls, which it can be a very wounding time, I think for female friendships. Were there any specific things that you noticed, maybe a pattern of things that girls were coming to you with, that you then took into your work

And I also love that you use the word wounding because that's so true. Currently I'm working with women who let's say they're like 35 and still referring to something that happened when they were 18. And so it's so interesting how that sticks with heal. Yeah. I notice a lot of things that we're still trying to work out and adulthood I noticed in high school.

So the first thing is false expectations of what friendships should be. So a lot of your issues. With what you expect to happen in the first place. You expect her to be a mind reader. You expect her to support you in everything you expect that she's not going to get close to other women because she's supposed to be like, you're a girl.

So what does that supposed to say about your, I mean, all those things that we probably have been fed by the media and things like that, I think work together to make us have. Certain issues and conflicts, some of them internally, some of them outwardly with our friends. And so I noticed a lot of that with young people.

And so I never reduced it really to like, oh, this is just silly stuff until I left out of that space. And I realized, oh, it wasn't silly. Like this is something that stays with a lot of people. Like you never figure out how to flex that muscle and develop certain, certain skills. So it's interesting that we always say like, oh girl drama, high school.

And it's like, actually we're on the struggle bus. Through 30, 40, 50. So we got to figure it.

That doesn't mean now. When you're 25 30, you can't show up. You're not that same person you've grown and you have more skills and more communication skills. And so I think, yeah, you have to remember, you're not that same little girl, you know, the evolving. Yeah, exactly. But I've found, you know, beyond just like the like social skills you need.

I think there's also like societal barriers to making new friends in adulthood. What would you say are some of those barriers, like common barriers to making a new friend in adulthood?

Or I can share with you, you know, I study the latest research study is, you know, for hours a week, so I can share all that and you can be like, wow, that's interesting. But if in your mind, you still don't think it's possible for yourself. It doesn't matter. And so a lot of mindsets that I see that are very problematic, the first would be it's too late for.

Um, is a big one. You think that for whatever reason, you're behind that everybody else formed their friendships and you'd be late to the game to start now. And so what's the point. So thinking you're behind another one would be believing that everybody already has their circle. Everybody's already friends around here, so I'm too late to get in.

There's no space for me, which is not true because research actually reveals that we replace about half of our. Every seven years, I saw that on your Tech-Talk. Yeah. And that always gets like a lot of cuts and it helps to make sense of a lot of things, right? Like, oh, that makes sense. Yes. You know, and so it's like, there's this natural friendship pruning that takes place every, you know, kind of cycle of years, which makes sense.

Because if you think about your lifetime seven years is a big leap, 14 to 21 21, 28. I mean, your, your worldviews have matured some of your, your, uh, beliefs and attitudes, maybe your personalities. I did for me, how you used to be, and it makes sense that you'd share space with people who, who value that and, and kind of operate in the same way.

But those are two big mindsets. I see. Another one is I don't have time for friends. Um, and we unpack that together. Cause that's a big one. You're not going to actively intentionally engage in pursuing friendship. If in the back of your mind, you don't really think you even have time to entertain this whole thing, you know?

And so there are certainly mindsets I've noticed that have stopped people from moving forward and the last one I'll offer it. I'm two blank, insert, perceived an adequacy here because I'm too shy, too introverted, too weird to whatever other people aren't going to be able to relate to me or appreciate me, which keeps us kind of stuck in our bubble.

So those are some mindsets I've noticed that kind of get in our own. Yeah, as you were

How can we, as we get older, how can we maintain. Those

So there's a couple things. The first thing I lead with, which seems so simple, but we don't do it is to Telegraph your desire. So if in your mind, you're thinking, man, I feel nervous that we're kind of like creating distance and I want to hold on to this to say that. But we won't because we feel like, oh, does that make me look desperate?

Is that stating the obvious? Do I look clingy? But to say to her, God, I know, you know, things are crazy right now. And so much is changing, but it's important to me that we stay connected. Like what do we have to do to make sure you and I are good just to let her know. I'd like to be intentional about this.

I hope you are too. Another thing we can do if we're shifting during life stages is to put it on the calendar. I know that's very unsexy. A lot of us will honor other things, but here's the mindset shift that I noticed is from young people to getting older is when you were in school, it was organic when you were in college.

Yeah. You just had to like walk down the hall in your dorm and you guys were right. It was like so easy and you're like in your pajamas and they were like, you want to go out tonight yet? So easy. We'll a lot of adults that I work with struggle because they can't get past that. It used to be so much easier.

It used, yeah, you're right. Because we were in a space saturated with our peers doing the same schedule thing all day. So our schedule is conducive to being in classes and studying together. And suddenly that social backdrop has been removed. Now you got to design it for yourself, but we've never had to.

So now you do have to say, okay, look. Thursdays are good for me. Can we make it like a Thursday thing to just like catch up on the phone to make sure we have some kind of regularity? So those kinds of things keep us close as being intentional about time telegraphing, our desire. Those were the kinds of things that keep us connected when we feel like we're starting to drift apart.

Yeah, and I think you'd love a

A lot of them moved to New York and are on the other side of the country. And so I don't get to see them as much. And I do think there's like a mourning period of like, I still love them, but our relationship is. Like our relationship isn't I can run across the hall and see you in your dorm and painter, Naylor, and gossip about boys or whatever.

And you know, now we're all, a lot of them are, are getting married. I have a couple of friends that are having kids now. And so I'm just curious how, if we're not in the same stage as somebody else, like how we have, how we maintain that closeness, like one of the. Best best friends having a baby. And I am new where close to having a baby.

Um, and so like, how do we still have our thing?

But you'd be surprised how many women I work with. And they say things like, well, you know, we would have invited her, but you know, she's got the babies. So, you know, we don't want to invite her because she probably can't come. Or the new mom is saying like, oh, When a bore them with this, like they can't really, I'm not going to share that I'm struggling with this because they probably can't appreciate that.

We do ironically, a lot of assuming with our friends, because we feel like I know you so well. I don't even need to ask you, I already know. And I've noticed it create a little. Distance, emotionally or physically, we start to withdraw ironically, because we feel like we know her so well. She can't relay, or that she won't want to be bothered with this.

She won't be interested and it's not true. And so I see that a lot as a cause of like a gradual separation in the friendship. Another thing would be to try your best, to find some aspect of her new season that you. Can relate to, or you can't show interest in, because I know a lot of times, like if we, if we continue with the new mom example, you know, she starts to make mom friends because it makes sense they can help her in this little village, whatever.

And she might have you in her mind is like her college friend. So how do I show her? Hey, I can travel with you here. Hey, how is, you know, how, how is nursing going? Hey, how's the baby taking to you? How, you know, I don't know about that world, but I know it probably is hard. You know, I'm, I'm here to listen to at least show, you can bring.

On this journey with you in this new space and you and I can evolve, even though you adopt new identities, because research shows that the people who are more likely to remain our friends are people who support the various aspects of our identity. So if I become a mom, that's a new part of my identity.

I'll probably remain friends with the people who support this new aspect of it. As soon as we adopt a new. Part of our identity, the people in our lives who can't get behind it or understand it, they tend to drop off. And so it's important for us to see, okay, can you support me here? Relate to me here in this new space and to demonstrate, Hey, I'm over here, I'm still around.

And I want to stay connected, even though you're in this new phase of life,

[00:21:04] Danielle Bayard Jackson: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Because again, it goes back to assuming that we know each other so well, so we stop making effort, right. Because we're like, oh my God, we're so close. Like, I don't have to put you on the calendar. Cause we're so close. Like seriously, do we need to be so formal? So sometimes we take advantage of the fact that we're so comfortable and familiar and it can be to our detriment to not treat it sometimes romantically.

And I draw those parallels a lot because we know what to do. When we're dating, like when we're dating, I'm going to be very upfront with you about what I need and what I expect, what are, we let's have a conversation with our friends. We're like, oh my God, like we're friends. I shouldn't have to say it.

Like, I don't have to say it. You're my friend. And so we don't communicate. We make assumptions. We don't tell her when we miss her, you know, but we do that with the guy, but we don't say like, Hey, I kinda miss you. Like, can we connect this weekend? There's so much that we know instinctively in a romantic sphere, but as soon as it becomes a platonic relationship, we have this dance of.

This is supposed to be a fun recreational entertaining. Problem-free space. So of course we don't have to like talk or address hard things and it's simply not true.

And, but it does feel like dating and I have trouble. Balancing, like, you know, wanting to make an, a connection, wanting to make the first move and also like, feeling like, am I coming on too strong? Like, you know, I just invited a newer friend to go on a trip with me. And I was so nervous. It was like, I was asking her out.

I was like, Hey, I'm going to be here. Would you want to come with me? Like, it's cool if you don't want to. And like, I don't want to come on too strong. And like, you know, you can get back to me. I

[00:22:51] Danielle Bayard Jackson: I'm weird. You know, cause

[00:22:54] Danielle Bayard Jackson: now.

It's funny if this helps either words at all that never really goes away. I mean, I work with 20, 30, 40 year olds still expressing the same fear of rejection is what it is. I mean, that's central to so many of our, our life issues is I'm scared. Somebody is going to say no. And what would that mean about me?

And I don't. And we feel we're all scared. And I always say a lot of times we put so much focus on what might go wrong. Like we envisioned she's going to say, no, she's going to think I'm lame. Do I look more invested? You know, then she is, does that look weird? But we don't put our head on a swivel and entertain that it's equally possible that she's thinking, oh, I'm so relieved.

Cause I was thinking she was cool too, or that I was thinking that we should get together. I'm glad she said at first, both of those are equally possible. We just have to, we just have to go for it. So I'm glad you did. Good for, you got to put yourself

out

[00:23:43] Natalie McMillan: Well, I think that that's what people get so afraid of, you know, it's like, we don't want to take any more rejection.

It's just sucks. You know? And we've had so many listeners write in asking how do I make friends as an adult? How so, what? I'm sure you get that question every day of your life.

[00:24:04] Natalie McMillan: suggestions for those people?

So the very first thing I do like to start with, to frame this a little bit is I hear a lot of times people will use the phrase, make new friends and meet new people synonymously, but the two are not necessarily the same making friends. First or the art of cultivating something meaningful with another person.

And who says that has to start from scratch. So a lot of us think that we have to go to a blank slate. I want friends, I got to go to a blank slate, but I would encourage you to take inventory of the people you've already met, like in your life, who you've dismissed as potential friends, for whatever reason.

She's ah, Too young to all that. She seems really mom ish. She doesn't seem, you know, like she's got my humor, we dismiss it for whatever reason. But if you started to entertain them as a possible friend, how might that change things? Because research shows that most of the friends we have are also active as another.

Roman or life. So by that, I mean, she's also my cousin, she's also my neighbor. She was also my babysitter. So the people who make friends with a lot of them tend to be people who were already in our lives and another way. And we became friends. So if that's the case and I'm trying to attack this strategically, who's already in my life who I'm not paying enough attention to as a possible friend.

And how can I view them differently? It would be the first thing. The second thing is to try to find a way to integrate more routine into your life. Unsexy, but I know sometimes we hear routine or like, oh my God, that sounds like so boring. I need some exciting ideas and I get that, but we're more likely to become friends with people who we've like, we're breeding a familiarity with them.

So I always say become a regular. What can be like your regular spot because we're creatures of habit. We tend to be at the same spot at the same time doing the same thing. So whether it's walking my dog kind of look at the same time around the same spot or picking up my kids from school at the same time, or kind of going to that happy hour every Tuesday.

Now let me pause here and say, cause I gave this tip on Tik TOK and people are like, oh my gosh. As women, you know, we can't have a routine because people can like stalk us. And I was like, yeah, Sadly. That is true. That's true. That's correct. So I would say take this advice, user discernment, but take, you know, try to extract the main message from here, which is how can I have some kind of consistency in my life?

So I'm seeing the same people and it's like, oh, Hey, what's up? You know, and our faces look familiar to each other because I kind of see everything. So now saying hello feels less intimidating because we kinda, we kind of know each other, see all the time. So how can you become a regular in some aspect of your life instead of staying in the house for a lot of us who work from home or, you know, not switching it up, sometimes another thing would be to get with your super connector friends.

So these were those people. You might know, one I'm on. Do you know what I'm talking about? And these are people who really thrive on bringing people together. It's a little like, oh my God, Marissa, you have to meet my friend, Tiffany, that person. Okay. We all know that person. Why not reach out to them and say, listen, I'm trying to get a little more plugged in a little more connected.

I thought of you because you're always out and about doing something. And I was just wondering, is there anywhere around town worth me checking out or, you know, is there anything you recommend because what this does is signal. I would like information on how to get connected with friends without saying, I need some fronts.

So it's almost like a ham trying to get connected. I thought of you, like, what are your thoughts? Where should I go? Now? They might end up giving you recommendations for places to head up to be social, which is great. Or on the best case scenario, they might invite you to be there. Plus. Somewhere and they'll say, oh my God, I have this book club.

You have to come with me, but you cannot get your needs met if you're too scared to make your desire known. And so those are some things we have to keep in mind when it comes to making friends and putting ourselves out there as it's all about being intentional, looking approachable. Some of us are out and about heads in the phone, you know, we've got the resting guilty and they were like, nobody approached me.

I don't know what's going on because it looks like you could not be bothered. And so a little bit of that helps.

You have to create a memory together. Like a lot of the times my boyfriend, I go on double dates with a lot of his friends and I meet them and we have dinner, we talk and then I'm like, We leave and I'm like, I feel like I still didn't hang out with them. Like, I feel like I don't have a connection to them and I'm like, we should go, like, I don't know, do a pottery class with this couple.

We should go do something that like sticks more in your brain. Does that make sense?

If I love you, I'm going to be like, yeah, let's do it. Okay. But I'm more inclined to say yes if you're like, okay. So I know we've never done this before. But there's this pottery class. It looks amazing. You me sangria, pottery. What? Like WhatsApp, it's new, it's different. It's kind of exciting, but the same way again, taking it to the romantic sphere.

When things get kind of like Dole, maybe in the relationship and they're like, eh, spice it up. Same thing for friendships. How can you create something that, to your point is memorable. It's different. It's exciting. And also what we don't talk about enough with that is if there's a little bit of vulnerability in that.

And, and I think a lot of times when we think of vulnerability, we think about like an image of you're crying your eyes out, or like you're telling a secret of what happened when you were 10 and those are level 10 vulnerabilities. That's a level 10. We can do some level ones. So the best way I've heard vulnerability defined is you feel comfortable taking a risk being rejected so that there's a chance a person might push back on you here, but you're going to put yourself out there and try anyway.

If I say, Hey, I've never done it before. Do you want to come with me to a pottery class? There's some vulnerability there. I'm trying something new in front of you. I don't know if I'm good. Look awkward. And there's a chance you might think this is a really lame suggestion, but I'm going to go for it.

That's vulnerability too. And there's something about that. That's very endearing. Yeah.

But if you do something like that, You're doing something active. You can talk about the class. Like it

So do you have siblings?

So a lot of us, we go to suggesting, do you want to get coffee? Do you want to grab a drink and talk? And for many of us. That's fine, but especially to your point with the newer friendship, we might want to take a lesson from men and do something active. So it takes off the pressure. And again, so we have that thing to refer to that memory, but it takes the pressure off it feeling like it's interview style or, you know, if we don't end up having chemistry, it's okay.

It's not as awkward because we're active. We're in a museum or a theme park or a pottery class. And so I'm suggesting something active for the first hangout. That's new to both of you. So it levels the playing field be.

So how do you work with your clients and how have you seen your clients grow through their work with.

And they are the same way about their friendships. So they're like, okay, I have friends. Okay. There's no, I have no problem there, but I don't feel as close to them. Satisfied with them. Like, what do I need to do to like, have more satisfying friendships or find women who are a little more my vibe, what do I need to do?

Tell me what to do. And so I work with a lot of women who are intentional and fun and all these things, but they want to be strategic about it. A lot of times it's working through a tough conversation because for a lot of women and a lot of this is cultural conditioning. We keep it inside or we don't want to seem like a witch or, you know, so we keep it inside.

We're like, oh my gosh, no, we're cool. Like, even if you ask her, Hey, did I rub you the wrong way? No girl, what are you talking about? But then we're going, telling friends like, oh my God, can you believe what she said yesterday? You know? So, so some of the women want to work through those things with me. So a session looks like, you know, I do 75 minutes.

I know a lot of sessions are like 45, but I feel like we're just getting there by 75 minutes. We've really processed some emotions. I've asked some tough, really thought provoking questions and we've had enough time to like come up with. Things to tangibly do by the time we're done. And I think a lot of them appreciate that when I first got into friendship coaching, I was, I'll be honest, a little embarrassed to tell people that my friend circle, because what the heck is that Danielle, you know, that you wouldn't be a friendship coach.

That's adorable. So it's funny now to see like all that's come out of it. But I think when they start to realize, well, if you had a romantic partner, you. To look at merit counselor, or if you had a new business, you'd get a business coach. Why not get support for what I'd argue is one of the most important relationships you'll ever have.

Um, and so I serve women in that way and it's been, um, it's been really fun and sometimes I'll see growth right there in the session where they're like, oh, Okay. I am guilty of doing this and you see the light bulb go off of them thinking, man, I've been the issue in some things, and I'm never going to do that again, which is so exciting for me, or I love when I get the emails afterwards that are like, okay, so I did the thing.

We had the conversation. She wasn't even mad at me. I just was thinking it. And now. More current, like in an emboldened to have hard conversations now because I see what it can produce. And so that is the greatest thrill of my life, I think, is having a woman who's feeling a little hopeless or confused about her situation and suddenly feel like, oh my gosh, I have clarity.

And I got this. It's like the thrill of my life. And so it's been a blessing to work in this. Yeah.

[00:34:51] Danielle Bayard Jackson: podcast, the friend forward podcast. Yeah. Has there been an

[00:35:02] Danielle Bayard Jackson: check out.

Oh, yeah, that's a great question. Well, you know, I'm biased. I'm like, well, they're all amazing.

really

That is a huge episode. You know how to make friends is obviously really huge. And then also more recently an episode on what to do. If you're the friend who's always initiating, which is like, I listen to one of my top things. I listened to that one.

[00:35:50] Danielle Bayard Jackson: It's tough.

Right? You get in your head, like, why am I putting myself out there? What's going on? It's it's a tricky one. And it's a very popular.

[00:36:01] Corinne Foxx: I wondering, well, Danielle, thank you so much for your time. You are so well-spoken and you have so much knowledge.

And I feel like this was so helpful for me personally, for us, and then also a hundred percent for our listeners

Let's dissect friendship. Instead of assuming it's going to be easy, I think is going to save them a lot of heartache in the future to try to get it right now and to connect more meaningfully now. So I applaud you all for being intentional about creating space to talk about this.

Everything you're doing in our show notes, including your podcast. And you said you have courses and, and, and also how our listeners can work with you personally.

[00:36:54] Corinne Foxx: over there. Thank you so much, Danielle.

I love her great energy

[00:37:05] Corinne Foxx: Like she just has this like glow, how you got to never see our guests, but they always just are glowing and look amazing. They're always stunningly. Beautiful. She's just was very. Like poised, poised. And I let you know, she was hitting us with facts and numbers. Love that we love.

We love research. Yeah. We love it. So we'll link to everything that Danielle is doing in our show notes. If you guys want to connect with her, and we hope you learned more about how to develop and maintain female friendships, how to navigate some common friendship issues and some tangible ways that you can take.

To make new friends, if that's what you're looking for. Yeah.

that

2020 Semyon belong from Santa Ynez valley. Do you want to intro our hi,

[00:38:18] Corinne Foxx: and they do so much together that work together.

But we love,

[00:38:29] Corinne Foxx: I love it. So right. Okay. So one to Amy Poehler and Tina, Tina Fey, a powerhouse

[00:38:35] Corinne Foxx: duo. What are we thinking of this storm? 2027 block.

I know that's my bottom scissor. No, it's not. We never have them chilled.

[00:38:52] Natalie McMillan: I was going to give it like a nine,

All right. This is the part of the episode. We play a little wrap-up game. And of course you guys, we had to play BFF, quite had to do the BFF quiz. Only fitting. I know,

So you got to pick a number between one and 40, 33 33. You know, we love those double numbers.

[00:39:36] Natalie McMillan: have we done this one? No, it's just an interesting question. Mine was when was the last time you climbed a tree or whatever the fuck I was like, are you kidding me? I cannot. This says, what is one thing you're embarrassed to admit?

You want to try?

I guess one thing that actually was really hard for me to get back into. I was dancing. I grew up dancing. I loved it so much. And then, you know, I, I went to college, I just stopped doing it. And then when I went back, I was like, really? I don't know. It felt like very vulnerable. I was like really embarrassed and like the class, I was like, what if I'm not good?

[00:40:31] Corinne Foxx: There are literal professional background dancers in my class.

[00:40:41] Danielle Bayard Jackson: here.

So sometimes you got to like push yourself a little bit, but I definitely felt like getting back into dance ups, like it's uncomfy, especially. Cause I hear so much about it. Right, right. That was a good answer. I don't know if there's anything I'm that

Yeah.

[00:41:09] Natalie McMillan: I'm going to do 20 to

[00:41:20] Danielle Bayard Jackson: Yes

And I was like, this fucking podcast, this podcast fulfills me so much. But on the other hand of this time thing, I worked too much. Yeah.

[00:41:50] Natalie McMillan: It's fucked that. So in, in that clinical, at this point, Corrine, please look at my open tabs. I just need to show you, I just have to show you this clinical productivity with it.

Um,

[00:42:07] Danielle Bayard Jackson: workaholic, recovery taking back your life.

[00:42:19] Corinne Foxx: not right. I know. And me and Natalie, we were talking about this cause it's like, we're in a very blessed situation where we don't have, we work a shit ton, but we don't have nine to five.

So we don't have a boss that like, you know, we have to co-ed and clock in clock out, but yet we're working. Ourselves beyond nine to five hours. Oh yeah. As if there is someone that's going to come in and be like, you are not doing your job here. And I was like, you know what, if I need to go to the mall and grab something on a Wednesday, I actually have given myself the grace to do that.

And I D I don't, I just sit and I'm like, I have, every minute of my day has to be productive. And it's like, until I like close my eyes, I like, oh yeah, in bed, I get in bed and I email myself for the next day, all the things I needed to get done. Oh my God,

And then when I opened my eyes, the minute I opened my email,

[00:43:21] Corinne Foxx: again, we've talked about before it's Americans, like we've been like brainwashing, the American dream, and your success is all about you. And if you're not, our world is based

Anyway, it's not,

[00:43:34] Natalie McMillan: learning. We're learning.

[00:43:40] Natalie McMillan: new questions.

If you want more. We also have episode 61, which is navigating adult relationships with your parents. It's more that now. So you can go in our archives and listen to one of those. Or if you love this one, you can rate and review the podcast because it really helps us

Yes. Yes.