Hey there, in this episode of BL NK P ges, I'm diving into reshaping beliefs and embracing uncertainty. I'll share a compelling fictional story about Alex, a nurse struggling with deep-seated beliefs, and his steps to reframe them. I'll provide some practical tools for resilience and share evidence-based methods to adjust beliefs. Using Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I'll show you how to apply these strategies to seeking belonging and connection. Let's explore the transformative power of reframing beliefs and how it can lead to a fulfilling and impactful journey.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Part 1: Handling Uncertainty in Beliefs

1. Embrace Uncertainty as an Opportunity for Growth:

• Start by acknowledging uncertainty is a natural part of life and an opportunity for learning and personal development.

2. Build Confidence Through Small Steps:

• Set small, achievable goals related to the belief they are testing.
• Celebrate these small victories to build confidence in their ability to create positive outcomes.

3. Cultivate a Growth Mindset:

• Abilities and understanding can develop over time with effort and experience.
• Important to gain resilience and learn from both successes and setbacks.

4. Tools for Resilience and Anxiety Management:

• Techniques like indfulness, journaling, or counseling for managing anxiety associated with uncertainty.
• Focus on controllable aspects and let go of what cannot be controlled.

5. Evidence-Based Belief Adjustment:

• Form beliefs based on evidence and personal experiences rather than fear or speculation.
• Regularly revisit and adjust these beliefs as new information and experiences are gained.

Part 2: Applying to Seeking Belonging and Connection

1. Reframing the Belief:

• Take the belief “I’m not good at making friends” and reframe it as a hypothesis: “If I engage in social activities, I may develop new friendships.”
• Recognize that this hypothesis carries uncertainty but is an opportunity to explore new social skills and settings.

2. Testing the Hypothesis:

• Participate in social activities or joining interest groups as a means to test the hypothesis.
• Set achievable goals like initiating conversations or attending several social events.

3. Observing and Recording:

• Keep a journal to document experiences, feelings, and any emerging friendships.
• Pay attention to both positive interactions and challenging moments.

4. Reflecting on the Experience:

• After a period of experimentation, reflect on the experiences. Were there moments of connection? What was learned about social interactions?
• Use this evidence to adjust the initial belief. Perhaps the new belief becomes, “I can make friends in the right social settings.

5. Building on the Experience:

• Create an action plan based on the new belief. This could include regular participation in social activities, deepening connections made, or exploring new social environments.
• Continuously revisit and adjust the belief based on ongoing experiences and feelings of belonging.

Well, hello, and welcome to another episode of BlankPage is the podcast. This is episode 6. We're gonna be jumping into uncertainty in beliefs and how to reframe them, building off of this invisible link our beliefs and our behaviors. So let's just we're gonna dive into the transformative germ journey of of, like, reshaping Our beliefs. So we're gonna start by understanding how to embrace uncertainty as a growth Opportunity, building confidence through achievable goals and cultivating a growth mindset. We're going to explore practical Tools for resilience and introduce evidence based methods to adjust our beliefs. Then we're gonna apply these insights to improve social connections by reframing limiting beliefs, testing new hypotheses in social settings, and learning from these experiences. So I'm hoping that or how should I put it? I'm I'm hopeful that this is gonna turn into, Just a a way for you to step into, like a guide for you to step into, or actually this, a guide for you to not just step into, but It's a building block or a foundation for personal development and better social relationships.

And the reason I wanna focus on that social relationships part because I'm gonna take a universal core human need, which is like loving connection, that type of a thing, to help us all with kind of coming up with an application around something that we all understand. So before we get into it, I want you to to To know that I'm so appreciative of those who are listening to the show and then those of you who are giving me the feedback, this is great. Thank you for subscribing and then sending me messages. It's great. And then those of you who are Sending me a DM through some of the questions I might ask or asking you to share in your journey. Hey. Thanks for doing that. And, But I want you to if you would, if you have subscribed to the show, thank you.

In the future, there'll be if you subscribe to the show on, Spotify, Apple, Amazon, wherever you find podcasts, that you'll also if you want, you can opt in, so I could double opt in, to the monthly email that I'll send out that's Ultimately, just a recap and highlight, to the prior episodes, and, also, I'll give a snapshot of things that are coming. Alright? So you could do that. You can find me on Instagram at Tim Pecoraro, and there's a link in the bio for you to find the podcast and subscribe there, but also to please join that monthly email. There's some awesome stuff coming. And then, also, I wanna throw this out. I'm gonna have a 30 day challenge that is actually core and central to everything that I do that is gonna be coming up. And it's gonna be Sandered around, ready, building a habit that I hope you're gonna form and ultimately turns into a practice, and then you will spend the rest of your life Doing it and investing in it and investing in it in ways that are gonna change you and those around you. So keep that on your radar because that is coming up.

So let's just get into this core part of what we got going on, Uncertainty in beliefs in how to reframe them. Now I have a little, like, 2 part fix, Yes. It's a fictional or fictitious story, that I wanna share with you to illustrate this problem, the problem that we're gonna talk about, and the solution and some fuel for you to get where you need to be going. Okay? So it's just a simple 2 part story. It's, I mean, it's It's there just to help you think. That's it. Just to think different. So here's part 1.

This is the deep struggle with unbelief. I want you to meet Alex, a dedicated nurse with a compassionate heart who recently located to a bustling city for a dream job opportunity. And beneath Alex's professional success lies a deep seated belief that he's inherently, you ready, unlikable and destined to be alone. Meaning, in his mind, he has an architecture or, like, a structure in his mind to ultimately fail. So this belief rooted in years of struggling to form deep connections has grown into a silent, constant companion Coloring his view of the world. So in his new city surrounded by unfamiliar faces and places, Alex's belief Intensifies. He spends his evenings in the quiet of his apartment, the walls echoing his feelings of isolation. I mean, they are screaming.

In that silence, they are loud. Each invitation, he declines. Every potential friendship, he avoids, reinforces his painful belief, and it creates a Vortex of, like, loneliness and self doubt, making his new life seem bleak and very unwelcoming, Undesirable even. So let's talk about that. I mean I mean, I can feel that. I don't know where you've been, and and there's a friend of mine. His name is John. And I'll never forget.

We were we were, at an event, and it was, for a group of people who I mean, they're actually supposed to be people that care and love people, and this person was just talking about how no one would talk to them and whatever. And finally, my friend John said, hey. Hey. Just you know, do you speak to anyone? Or, well, no. I wait and see, blah blah blah blah. And and so he was like, look. If you want Friends make yourself friendly. Right? Like, you go first.

So let's just get into this, right, Around this, and and I'll build from it, but let's just start with handling uncertainty and beliefs. So the first thing is we need to do is we need to embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for growth. That's it. It's real simple. You gotta embrace it. Embrace opportunity As in, uncertainty as an opportunity for growth. So we wanna start by acknowledging that uncertainty is natural. It's a natural part of life And an opportunity for learning and personal development.

So you had to take look at both of them. We acknowledge it's natural for our part of our life, But it's also the opportunity for learning in in in personal development. And so what I wanna do is encourage you to consider a mindset shift here. I want you to To shift your thinking, a mind shift actually with a mindset shift to view uncertainty not as a threat. Okay? It's not a threat, but as a path to discovery. It's a big it's a big thing. It's a big turn. The second thing is to build confidence through small steps.

Right? So as we're going through this 1st part, right, of how you're gonna get into handling uncertainty and beliefs, number 1, you wanna embrace uncertainty as As an opportunity for growth, number 2, build confidence through small steps. So what does that mean? You wanna set small achievable goals related to the belief They are testing. Right? So you wanna set goals to test the belief. And then what you wanna do is you wanna celebrate these small victories To build confidence in their ability to create positive outcomes. K? The third thing that you wanna do is cultivate a growth mindset. This is big. This is 1 I challenge people to do all the time. And and a growth mindset to me is is obviously that you know that you can change.

You can still improve. There's still more. It can be done. There's always an opportunity for you to adapt for the better. And so For me, to cultivate a growth mindset, it's to promote the idea that abilities and understanding can develop over time without with effort, sorry, and experience. So you have to put effort in in in in in into this thing, and then ultimately, experience is gonna help you. That that these abilities, they can be developed. Your understanding, it can grow.

And then we wanna highlight the importance of A resilience and learning from both successes and setbacks because part of growing is you have to have to put yourself in a spot To be resilient, to to develop that and learn from the success or setback. The 4th thing that I wanna point out is you need tools For resilience and anxiety management. Oh, yeah. So you have to manage yourself, obviously, but anxiety comes along with that. So I wanna introduce you to some techniques like mindfulness, journaling, or counseling for managing anxiety associated with your uncertainty. Those are all options, but I really want you to understand that you can learn how to focus on controllable aspects and letting go of what cannot be controlled. That is where you that's a big tool for your resilience and anxiety management. And then the 5th is evidence based belief adjustment.

Now that's big. Theories are good. Evidence is so much better. I wanna encourage you to form beliefs that are based on evidence in personal experiences rather than on fear or speculation. Most people walk into the room speculating. Most people walk into the room undering. Most. Me, I'm guilty of it too.

Sometimes we walk into a room with everything that should not be in our mind. We're worried about things that are outside of our control when really our focus needs to be who we are, how we showing how we show up, and how we're gonna relate and interact with the room. So it's really important that you form beliefs based on evidence, And then you've gotta revisit and adjust these beliefs as new information and experiences are gained. Okay? So that's real simple. Was it? Number 1, embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for growth. Number 2, build confidence through small steps. Number 3, cultivate a growth mindset. Number 4, you have to have tools for resilience and anxiety management, and number 5, evidence based belief adjustment.

So that's a lot of stuff I know, and I just kinda threw some things there to you hoping that you'd catch it. Right? But in the beginning, I said, I'm gonna use something that's very universal and common to pretty much everyone. And using Maslow's, core human needs or, what human needs are. And I believe there's 6 there's 6 core human needs I like to always work with, but it's And and I'm sorry. Let me say that correctly. It's Maslow's Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Okay? So As I chose one of them, I want to use this as an example for you to be able to apply what I'm talking about. So I'm gonna use Seeking belonging and connection.

Right? So I want to apply what I'm talking about to those who want to seek Belonging and connection, which I did I think all of us want that. So here's how we do it. You ready? This is a short and simple thing, Five things. Just like a listed five. Now here are 5 things. You're gonna reframe the belief. So take the belief, I'm not good at making friends, and reframe it as a hypothesis. What do I mean by that? Here's an example.

If I engage in social activities, I may develop new friendships. So much better than I'm not good at making friends Because now I begin to build my mind and all my structure with that in mind and to that end, and I'm going to get what I am Saying and thinking because my behavior will follow that belief. So if I can reframe it as, Like a belief hypothesis, now I can move into that if I engage in social activities, I may develop new friendships. So now it's gonna help me recognize that this hypothesis carries uncertainty, but is an opportunity to explore new show social skills in settings. So even though I have uncertainty, right, uncertainty is there, I also it's an opportunity, and that's where I can step out. So now I wanna test that. So first, I reframe it, and I'm gonna test this hypothesis. Right? So I'm gonna encourage you to participate in Social activities, if you do that, or joining interest groups as a means to test this out.

You've gotta do it. And so how do you do that? You have to set achievable goals like, you ready? Initiate that conversation. If you want friends, make yourself friendly or attending a certain number of social events. You don't have to be the person on the front row, But maybe there's maybe something if you have a chamber event, go to that. Or something in the community of a church, go to that. It could be a 5 k, go to that. It could be an outdoor concert, Go to that. It could be a market.

Go to that. I mean, it could be your neighborhood. Go to that. It could be, let's do a neighborhood get to know you thing. Go do that. Right? These are all the things that you can do to test it because you want to set the achievable goals like initiating conversations or attend a number of social events that will give you some ways to test. Now you wanna observe and record. Right? So third thing is observe and record.

Keep a journal to document your experiences, feelings, and, like, anything that's going on. What's your mindset like? What's What and then any emerging friendships that start to come out of it, and pay attention to both positive interactions and also, you ready, the challenging moments. That's what's gonna be really important. Now why do I say to journal? I mean, it could be a voice memo. I mean, it doesn't matter. Remember, Well, page, the blank page is whatever you share it with. So you need to understand that nothing will listen better than the blank piece of paper. So do that.

Work on that. Put it to work. Okay? So now the 4th thing is reflect on The experience. So after a period of experimentation, reflect on the experiences. Were there moments of connection? What was learned about social interactions then? And then what you're gonna do is use this evidence to adjust the initial belief now. So you can little just a little minor turn. The initial belief, just turn it a little bit. Perhaps the new belief becomes, you ready? I can make friends in the right social settings.

So now you move to I can do something, so I can, but it's in the right social settings. So now you're beginning to define What the right is, you're looking for the objective right social settings. Right? And then the 5th thing is you wanna build on The experience. So you wanna create an action plan based on the new belief. This could include Regular participation in social activities, deepening connections made, or exploring new social Environments. This is a big one. This is an action plan around the new belief, and then you want to continuously revisit And adjust the belief based on ongoing experiences and feelings of belonging and not on All the old information. This is your blank page moment.

Revisit, adjust the belief based on ongoing experiences And the feelings of belonging. I'm a firm believer in something that We need to spend more time helping people belong. And stop always waiting for them to believe like us. You belong people into believing. Right? That's an important thing. So they're your 5. If you wanna apply, and I just use the example of book seek if you're seeking belonging and connection, number 1, reframe the belief. I'm not good at making friends and change it to, if I engage in social activities, I may develop new friendships.

Testing that hypothesis. Right? You wanna you wanna encourage participation into things. You tell yourself, I can do this. Encourage yourself to do it. Join an interest group. 3rd, observe and record. Keep a journal. Document the experiences.

4th, reflect on the experience. Use this evidence to adjust your initial belief. And the 5th is building on the experience. Create an action plan on the new belief, And continuously revisit and adjust that belief based on ongoing experiences. So by addressing How to manage uncertainty in beliefs and then applying strategies to the specific goal of improving social connections, Like, that's the example here. You or I or people we know, we can develop A more like a a a very competent and proactive approach to shaping beliefs and behaviors. So I want you to know these 2 parts that I put together for this guide is it it's aimed to or my focus is to empower you, the individual, To embrace your uncertainty, to test the new hypothesis, and ultimately find your greater fulfillment and connection in your own life. So remember that story I opened up with about Alex? Let me take you into the closing part of that.

So here's the 2nd part. This is his life changing application of the framework. So Alex discovers this podcast. And inspired by the episode on Reframing Beliefs, he decides to confront his deepest fears. He begins by acknowledging his belief as A hypothesis, not a certainty, and then it's something like this. If I open up to people, I might be able to form meaningful connections. Embracing this new perspective, Alex sets small, manageable goals. His first step is to is just to simple It's a simple thing, just but it's significant.

He's gonna join a book club. And at each meeting, he challenges himself to share a thought or ask a question, And he begins to slowly peel away the layers of his long held belief. Alex also starts a journal documenting his Feelings before and after social interactions. This becomes a powerful tool helping him to manage anxiety and recognize patterns in his thoughts. Each positive interaction, no matter how small, starts to chip away at the fortress of loneliness that Alex has built around himself. As weeks turn into months, Alex begins to notice a remarkable transformation. The book club members start to become friends inviting him to other social gatherings. Each experience is a step towards Disproving his old belief.

The most profound moment comes 1 evening when surrounded by laughter and lively conversation, Alex realizes he no longer feels like an outsider. The turnaround is dramatic, and it's life affirming. Alex's new belief, I am capable of making and sustaining deep relationships becomes his new truth. This belief doesn't just change his social life. It revitalizes his entire perspective on life. He approaches his job with more enthusiasm, explores his city with curiosity, and most importantly, looks at himself with newfound respect and kindness. Alex's journey from deep unbelief to a fulfilling social life is truly a testament to the power of reframing our beliefs and the incredible life changing impact it can have on you or me. I just hope that this will touch you in in the ways that it touches me, and I am so Challenged by knowing that this is something that we can all do, something that we can all work on, something that, Yeah.

We can totally make a part of us, a part of our journey. That we can deal with this uncertainty in our beliefs, and we can actually reframe them. So it's with hope or great hope that I would like you to grab ahold of this guide. Put it to work. Try it for yourself. See See what happens, and always know that you can share your feedback with me. Please go and DM or share it with me, post it online. However you can build your life into a way that when your behavior follows belief, it's something that you are truly, truly, truly involved with, Consciously evolved or involved and aware of with every decision, every step that you take, knowing that you believe for better things and you want greater outcomes, you can do this.

You can transform your life, transform this journey, and you can reshape your beliefs. Until next time. We'll talk soon