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Ep. 18 The path to true healing and empowerment interview w/ Dr. Kirpal Singh MD
Episode 18 • 11th June 2021 • The Borealis Experience • Aurora Eggert
00:00:00 00:40:24

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How to get out of your funk?

We are given the gift of life. 

We are given the freedom to make choices.

Are the choices that you make truly benefitting you and your surroundings ?

On the flip side:

You are allowed to make mistakes.

You will learn from your mistakes. 

You deserve to be forgiven to move on. The loss of energy of not forgiving is immense. 

Have you forgiven yourself for the mistakes you have made?

In this episode here I learnt there is no possible way to live healthily if I haven’t forgiven myself for the mistakes I have made or forgiven the person that has hurt me..

Also are you struggling with anxiety or depression or you know somebody who is ?

Dr Kirpal Singh will share with us what he recommends doing 

Make a list of things you can change and things you can’t change

Meet with people you trust and express yourself

Keep a journal for you positive accomplishments 

enjoy this episode that really touched me deeply

with love A.



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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.





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Transcripts

Unknown:

Welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora, and I'm very excited to have Dr. Singh with me today, we

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will be talking about health and how you can maybe start a

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practice and change habits in order to live a more fulfilled

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and healthy life. Welcome Dr. Singh to the Borealis

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experience, I'm very pleased to introduce you.

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First, we would like to know a little bit about your

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background. And then we jump into Yeah, the practices and the

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habits that you would suggest for people to be more healthy

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and happy with their life. Thank you, Aurora, for inviting me to

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your program.

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My full name is Dr. kirpal Singh.

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And I'm retired.

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I did go to medical school in India, then five years I spent

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in England, became board certified in psychiatry and

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family practice then came to the United States in 71. And I've

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been here in practice, you know, in the hospital, practice,

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clinics, private practice all worked with the prisons and a

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wide variety of experience. That's my background. Wow. So

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what would you say? Now that you've had such, like, so many

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years of experience? What would you say? people's struggle with

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most? Because I feel most of the time the physical body becomes

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sick, because of the mind because of Yeah, unhealthy

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habits. Was there anything that you observed over the years that

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maybe every? That's a good question? Yeah. Yeah, my working

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hypothesis or working away,

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as I understand the disease processes, I call it

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biological, psychological, social, and spiritual. These are

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different components of it, and they go hand in hand.

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One is not separate from the other.

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It's like four wheels of a car.

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If they are in proper alignment, the car runs properly. If then

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disalignment, then it has a rocky

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you know, Rocky?

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way. So that's same as the good health.

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When we approach the good health from those four angles, four

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dimensions, I think we can have a pleasant, optimistic and

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fruitful life.

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But if any of them is disturbed, we need to fix it

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politely and encourage people to bring about a change so that

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they can have their life, life running smoothly. Mm hmm. Most

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of the good health is based on prevention.

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and to a lesser degree on the curative aspect, which is

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important too. But even when we have them get gotten them

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better, with less a with the medication, they still need to

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bring about a lifestyle change, paying attention to all those

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four components, which I mentioned. Without that change.

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There is a no lasting transformation in personal life.

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They keep sort of running from one

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data strategy to another. Mm hmm. Yeah, I totally understand

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that. And it is very hard to change habits.

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But it is necessary to know that we are in charge, we are in

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power of our health. We're not victims of diseases, we can have

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such a healthy and in alignment. lifestyle, like you said, that

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we can fight off diseases easier than if we thought that we have

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no power over our health. Right?

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That is correct. As a matter of fact, I believe our birth is a

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blessing at birth. We are not born in sin.

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We are given the gift of life.

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We have given gift of talents. and we are given the freewill to

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make choices

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which we can and depending on that how we choose our

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lifestyle.

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We can have our direction that way. But it's like the

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You know,

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you cannot.

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So

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bad crops and then expect the good results.

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In other words, this kind of seeds you sow in your life,

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that's what they grow. So the good health practices really

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start from the childhood. Yes, that we have to raise our

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children

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with good role models that role models involve, you know,

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getting good caring, as far as their personal needs are

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concerned, their nutritional needs, and then good things to

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play with.

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And connecting with their nature by looking at watching how

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things are going on, and enjoying them. And also good

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Spiritual Education. You know, in which you learn stories, that

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you know the Creator, whatever name you want to call it. Or if

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you don't, even if you don't believe in it, that's fine too.

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But still there is something call it higher power, call it no

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power about our there is something which controls our

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affairs.

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And that control is delegated to us

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in the form of freewill,

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that is our capacity to choose. So depending on how we choose if

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we made a wrong choice, then what we can always make another

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choice. So making a mistake is not a sin. making a mistake is

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not

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a you know, you should not create low self esteem. making a

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mistake does not mean we are no good. It simply means another

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chance to improve ourselves.

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That's very beautiful.

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So as we take advantage of those opportunities,

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experiment with them,

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the better we get it, and it becomes then a joyful life.

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Instead of the one feeling that I'm no good.

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Because God created everyone good. God didn't put us in this

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world to punish us.

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Because God does not hate us. God does not threaten us, God

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loves us. And if you don't believe whatever it is, your

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belief system or no belief system, spell love will love it

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by your parents love the society love nature, look, the free gift

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of the air, our natural resources, free gift to the

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water, food we and the ground on which we live provides all kinds

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of amenities for us to live good life. These are the gifts which

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are given to us naturally our natural resources the more we

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examine them, more we relate to them and only more we use them

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the better we get at it and the all becomes an aid to our joyful

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life. Yes. So, beautifully said and I totally agree and see and

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feel that this is the right path to healing.

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You said you worked with people also in prison and people who

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yeah went on the wrong path. So to say and maybe people even who

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struggle with addiction, if we can share with them that this is

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where you have to come back to you have to come back to

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nurturing food to the source of water, fresh air appreciating

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nature, then you can go back onto your your right path and

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how do you address

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because you you talked about forgiveness. How do you help

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people to forgive themselves and to to help train their mind

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to work for them instead of against them?

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worldwide. I think forgiveness is the key.

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If we really believe that we love another person. We

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believe that you know we are all gets in gains by virtue of being

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members of the same species.

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And if we really believe that we are all children are the same

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God or no God, if you want to call it, that we all have the

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Equal Rights,

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then I think we have also to understand, we have the equal

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rights to make mistakes too. Like we have the equal rights to

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be able to

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say.

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So all that processes by hidden trial,

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and we need not keep the venue and sinners. But on the other

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hand, remember,

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anyone trying to do things honestly and properly and

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appropriately can do mistakes.

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And if they have done, they deserve to be forgiven, like, if

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I was to do a mistake, I want to be forgiven, too, so that we can

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move on the loss of energy and not forgiving. Yeah, thank you

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brooding about in anger are that simply leads to more hurt to

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ourselves? Or to the other person? Yes. And that's like,

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that's like, more we brewed?

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The more we become anxious, more muqaam negative. And we may

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become more paranoid about this is happening that play No. But

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on the other hand, we express in a bra appropriate manner, our

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display here about the thing, and then saying, Well, I'm

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sorry, this happened, I forgive you. And let's go.

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The sooner said that, the better life for both people involved in

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it. Yes, yes. And so I cannot move on. I cannot move on

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without reconciliation. Yeah, reconciliation takes place on

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the process of forgiveness. And forgiveness comes from based in

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that we all love each other.

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Yeah. And sometimes you cannot speak to the person anymore.

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To ask for forgiveness. Can we talk about how? Yeah, how can

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you deal with that? When you when you have to forgive

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yourself? And there's nobody out there who can do the job for

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you? There's nobody out there who can you know, forgive you?

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Is it possible through meditation for example, to to

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learn to forgive yourself without? Yeah, like I said,

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without being able to see the other person?

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Yes, yes, it is.

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You know, I personally believe in prayer. You know, I believe

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in prayer,

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that there is a power greater than me.

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You know, I can seek forgiveness from that power and guidance

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from that power. So I pray for, for example, my personal

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background is a Sikh, you know, follow this

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sick faith, which is based on the teachings of Guru Nanak.

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Like we have other faiths based on different groups.

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So, the prayer is emphasized a lot to the Creator, that even if

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I don't have to go to anyone to seek forgiveness, I can just

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say, oh, Lord, you know, I'm your child, I have made a

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mistake, please forgive me and give me the guidance to move on.

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And also, please forgive the person who I have or may have

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offended, and heal them to at the same time, so that these

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prevail

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in both our lives, yes.

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The more we do that, the more it becomes part of our thinking.

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Instead of negative thinking, that kind of automatic thinking,

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starts

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appearing in our mind and provides us the energy

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motivation to move on. Rather than be stuck. You know, the car

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is stuck in the

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ice or in the snow.

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Wheels like that. Mm hmm. Can I move? So we have some kind of

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support. Here, some breaks or some sandbags and all or some

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people's push to get it out? Right?

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So that we can be back to normal. So that's how I use

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prayer for that. And prayer is simple. There are very different

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ways of praying. You know, you can pray doing out in the nature

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looking at the tree.

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And others you know and saying the whoever made these all these

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beautiful things and I pray to that person

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make me beautiful like that too, by for forgiving me, and also

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other people who in my life I may have offended.

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So that's one way that's one way of playing. And another way of

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praying well ways. Some person, you know, meditation like for

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example, we talk about mantra, insect predation, we have the

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word Waheguru. Like for example, we say that four letters we say

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we're a law a spa means wonderful, awesome. And guru.

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That means the one who takes knew from darkness to light

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Yeah, so we say and that helps us to come now and also

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generates energy we're a go through

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a through

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a new roof. And you can have use other words, you can say Hosanna

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Hosanna. Or you can say

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or you can say something else what pleases you? I remember I

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just you, Rama Sasa say so whom?

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Yeah, that's that Kundalini Yoga people use it. And I really more

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simpler than that, there they used to nessa na sa is one of

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our sub now. Yeah.

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Great.

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So that's one way the word sa

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ma. These are examples. You can devise your own method. Yeah,

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the idea is, this is how it can work. Yeah, this is this is a

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meditation technique. And then another day, get a de Bresse out

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in the fresh air. You breath. Yes. Another stretch yourself.

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You know,

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take some day breathing Mamou yourself and all or yawn

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yourself, or some people use laughing as a technique, laugh,

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laugh, laugh, laugh so that everything shakes and energies,

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when they call you release endorphins in your body like

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so those improve your mood state. So there are numerous

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ways of doing things. They start just one way. And one thing they

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work one time and other time it may not seem to be working try

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and plan a trial, you find something that works. Yeah,

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yeah. Did I understand right? That in praying and using

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meditation, in stretching and moving your body, you

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you use your mind as a tool to guide you wherever you want to

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go. Instead of your mind using you and Miss guiding you maybe

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like you are dragging your mind, like a muscle you're training

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your mind with new thoughts with I feel like when we do the

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Waheguru it's a I don't necessarily have to understand

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what it means. But the sound is very healing already.

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Right?

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That's right. So the whole idea is

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programming yourself more positively. Exactly. Exactly.

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And that's the whole idea. Yeah. Because Because it's, you know,

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like, for example, when I was in the hospitals or outpatient when

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I created with a team with a depression, or anxiety disorder

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or some other serious disorder, I have them they do their

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assessments like nurse to do the same assessment psychologists do

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psychological assessment, vocational rehab, to do the

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vocational assessment, and I will do the psychiatric

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assessment, and then family

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social work into family assessment. Then I will ask

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them, you know, during your process, I not only need

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information on their background in your, you know, their

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assessment along with that, I also need the list of assets,

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what they see in the particular patient, not liabilities,

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liabilities, I say they're everywhere. And now all the

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time, assets plus our time, people can come in many assets.

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And they will come with the liabilities Oh, this

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dysfunctional family. This doesn't know they already gave

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this. I said Look, I didn't ask your liabilities. I asked you

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assets.

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their seats. Yes. I said Well,

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I don't know. They're no essence over here. I see. Yes, there

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are. As I look, his eyes or her eyes are working you

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Yours

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can smell, can feel,

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you know, the high school graduate education, they can

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read and write.

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There's some hobbies they can learn.

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While those are assets, right, let's try to make use of those

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assets.

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help encourage them to learn some cooking something

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to cook so that they can have independent exists, and they can

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feed themselves.

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Teach them how to pray. don't pray for them, but teach them

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how to pray constructively, where they can learn, they can

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read and write.

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And give them a book like chicken soup or soul or positive

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thinking or some other we can read an article. We can discuss

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with them, feed them some exercise, which will make them

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feel better improve their circulation, yes. And help them

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encourage a breathing. So all those things they can learn.

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Yes, they're all provide them the spiritual, physical mental

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tools

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to conduct themselves better, feel better, and move on in

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life. So all these registers? Yeah, they will be surprised

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people will be surprised where I am coming from all those things.

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Yeah, otherwise, that dysfunctional family they know

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much you can do that's the way it is. I said, No, that's not

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why that person is here with us. The person is here with us for a

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purpose. And our job is to try to dig

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to create positivity. Yeah. And that is based on our proper

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assessment of the situation. Ah, this is so critical. And then

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you can truly empower a person and, and show them that they

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have so many tools to help themselves and you just yeah,

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put the awareness back onto them. And the mindfulness, and

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then they can heal themselves, improve your posture, so that

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you can

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be in a less painful situation, that even if you undergo

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surgery, in some cases, which is absolutely necessary, you

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undergo surgery, you're still going to need a rehabilitation

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process. And that rehabilitation process is going to require

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motivation, and cooperation and collaboration so that you follow

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those exercises

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and follow those new health needs, you know, take your

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medications properly, your vitamins, and also. So it cannot

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be just surgery can fix everything, and medication

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cannot fix everything. There has to be a complete lifestyle

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change, depending on what we're dealing with. Yes.

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Sometimes I feel when trauma happened. So let's say someone

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that you really love passes away, or you have a car accident

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and your body is fine, but you are still very, very scared from

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the from the collision. Sometimes shock and emotional

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shock can result in physical pain.

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And

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how can we work with that? How can we make people aware that

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yes, your body is aching, but it is up here that we have to start

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releasing pain and releasing the story and move on is Is there

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any, like more techniques than meditation and prayer?

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Yes, first of all, you know you need a leader in those kinds of

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situations, especially when they're severe, you need a

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therapist.

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You can develop confidence and listen who will sort of

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guide you through that traumatic process, you know, healing

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process. Like for example, most important

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to start with is ventilation of the feeling pain and talking

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about what happened and how you know threatening it was and how

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you miss it person who disappeared from your life or

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the accident.

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After you had done that for a little while, then you come to

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grips with the situation now it is going to be there you notice

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painful we have to move on to change their life.

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And that movement is going to need learning how to prevent an

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accident again.

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Like let's say someone was let's say someone was looking at their

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cell phone while going through the guard when it became into an

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accident. So let's send in the cell phone

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Any more that way.

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Stop the car before you do the cell phone.

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The same way that in other kind of situation where a person has

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another last let's say they lost a job, that they have to look at

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the what could possibly the reasons for losing the job?

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Can we make a change so that those kinds of things won't

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happen again in the next job when you get it?

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Otherwise fatal? There you repeat the same history? Yes.

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So one has to look at not Yes, just hop from one situation to

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another another thinking that there will be

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some sort of

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quick healing take place, it just doesn't take place that

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way.

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You have to figure it out. You have to spend some time honestly

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looking at what went wrong, and know how to prevent it not for

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them to happening again.

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Yes, sometimes you need an assistance of a initially a

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friend who may be able to help you. If that's not enough,

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because not everyone has all the time. They need you need a

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therapist. You can also use a self help book. You can go to

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the Barnes and Nobles in our stores and find a book which

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will resonate with you use those things, or you do an internet

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search for those are the right internet groups are are right on

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they're available dealing with these kinds of issues, too. So

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there are many things available, but one has to look first has to

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figure out what they need.

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Before they can go on to actually identifying.

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Yeah, they can trust that they can help themselves. Like

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sometimes people are searching for external help and crutches

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you know, and sometimes you need to ask for help. But you at the

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same time you have to trust that you can help yourself as well.

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And you mentioned cell phone.

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Technology is the last point I want to address with you because

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I watched a beautiful video the other day about

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a man talking about technology is not a bad thing. It is

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awesome. It is such a tool. It is the way we use it the

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compulsiveness that

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really, yeah makes us sick in our mind because we become so

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addicted to these things here.

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If somebody who's listening now feels like yeah, there's lots of

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compulsion when it comes to their phone and social media.

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How would you What would you advise them to to do to free

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themselves again from that addiction?

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Well, there's several things you can do. You know, first thing is

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that they have to be aware that this is their problem. Yes.

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Okay. Now, once they know that is their problem, they can do

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leave the cell phone in the room and go out on the beach. That's

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just an example. Walk around without it. Yeah.

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Go Live was going on even before the cell phone came that came

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into existence?

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Yeah. And then after they are home, then now they can go to

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the cell phone. And now this is self discipline, these are calls

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self discipline techniques. Yeah. And then then the other

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thing they can do is they can give their spouse for example, a

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friend cell phone here, you know, you take care of it, I

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will don't give it to me, I unless absolutely necessary.

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Those again, part of the self discipline. Another thing is,

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they have to develop some hobbies they like, you know,

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drawn, the reason why they're sticking to cell phone is

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because their life is empty, the time is empty, and they don't

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know really where to go. So one cell phone is away. There is a

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panic, because they lost the support. They lost the support.

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Yes.

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So, so to experience that sort of situation and trying to

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divert your energy into different areas. So you create a

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more wholesome and pleasant lie, and less dependent on one thing.

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Yes, yeah. And this is how you also create resilience, right?

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Like I feel.

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A lot of people use their cell phone because they feel a

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connection with their people. They see people approve of their

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pictures and then

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Various staples. But you, you also can find that out in nature

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and you can find it when you meet people, one on one and to

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just have that balance again. And not that intense addiction

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from one from one little tool, right? That's exactly the

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happiness lies in moderation. Hmm, middle way, middle way, it

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doesn't lie in extremes. Yes, you are needing a very good food

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in large amount can make you sick. Look into the steering

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when we dry the car, if you go like this, and that you can get

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into accident, but you keep on going like this. Maintaining the

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balance and move on. Yes.

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That is such a nice metaphor. That's Yeah, everybody will

Unknown:

understand that one.

Unknown:

Think of the steering wheel.

Unknown:

This is very, yeah.

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So the road is uneven and road is you know, some time bumps.

Unknown:

Sometimes they send that but you keep your steering wheel and

Unknown:

adjusting going on. Those bumps are normal in life. And downs

Unknown:

are normal in life. But we don't get stuck in them. We keep

Unknown:

making our way through. Yes, yes. And knowing that you have

Unknown:

several anchors in your life, like your friends, your family,

Unknown:

but also yourself to help you in a stressful situation to have a

Unknown:

strong coordinate, right?

Unknown:

Why you know,

Unknown:

good meal, for example, a simple meal, people may say, Oh, I want

Unknown:

a steak. Steak doesn't mean just a piece of steak. Here are some

Unknown:

potatoes, you have some veggie tables, you know, you may have

Unknown:

summarize, you may have something else you miss some

Unknown:

condiments and all those things together make a meal. Yes, not

Unknown:

just a piece of steak, right say aways life is supported by many

Unknown:

things. And we have to be aware of them and use them and as we

Unknown:

go along. Yeah, and not just me overly dependent on one thing

Unknown:

and forget about everything else. Mm hmm. then that becomes

Unknown:

a lopsided development. Yeah, the whole so whole, some

Unknown:

are harmonious development requires using all those

Unknown:

resources as needed. Our goal is to move on, keep driving on and

Unknown:

we use whatever is necessary as a tool in our life. But we have

Unknown:

to learn and provide those tools are temporary,

Unknown:

that we know don't know when when we need them. Mm hmm. That

Unknown:

is so beautiful, very, very good.

Unknown:

If there was three things that you would recommend, a person

Unknown:

that is struggling with anxiety or depression, before we we end

Unknown:

this episode, I would like you to yet give us three tools

Unknown:

that a person can start from today on to to make them feel

Unknown:

better.

Unknown:

Good point first,

Unknown:

have them make a list of things which make them anxious

Unknown:

at random, whatever, you know, maybe they come and knock out on

Unknown:

them choose three

Unknown:

and see which they can manage some

Unknown:

then start doing the one if that is completed, then they can go

Unknown:

to the second and then third.

Unknown:

Or if they cannot complete achieve one then go to the you

Unknown:

know one next which is possible. The whole idea in controlling

Unknown:

anxiety is to remember the serenity meditation. God grant

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me the serenity to accept things I cannot change.

Unknown:

courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the

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difference. A

Unknown:

lot of time people are focusing on things they cannot change,

Unknown:

brooding, worrying panic because they can change. But that's not

Unknown:

how we end a life.

Unknown:

Put our emphasis on things we can change as we change those

Unknown:

things which are changeable and better.

Unknown:

that generates your

Unknown:

generates confidence.

Unknown:

And that confidence is able to

Unknown:

overpower and swallow those negative things and many of them

Unknown:

take care of themselves.

Unknown:

So this differentiation, what began change and what we can

Unknown:

achieve it makes a major difference, or you will handle

Unknown:

the anxiety or depression or any other situation in life. Yes.

Unknown:

Once you make the

Unknown:

identify those things that you can change and work towards

Unknown:

bringing about a change in those areas.

Unknown:

Your capacity to handle and restructure your life

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will be substantially improved. Leading to

Unknown:

calmness. Jove, presidents, huh? This is so beautiful. I feel so

Unknown:

calm and content right now. Because

Unknown:

I feel Yeah, it all resonates what you do. And it is very

Unknown:

simple. We just have to, yeah, take baby steps, very small

Unknown:

steps. And do what you said in writing out a list and

Unknown:

differentiate between things we can control and things that are

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out of our control. And then we can, yeah,

Unknown:

live. Another thing. Another thing I'll suggest is, in

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addition to that, find a buddy.

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You know, who you can discuss?

Unknown:

And who can help you? Like, let's say you need to go out to

Unknown:

work. But you don't feel like call your buddy and say, Hey, I

Unknown:

should be working in lead buddies. support that time in

Unknown:

Alcoholics Anonymous, and all those kinds of things. Yeah,

Unknown:

have somebody some person who can you and your spirits a bit

Unknown:

down? You don't want to do it. But you know, you need to do it.

Unknown:

Yes. Yeah. To be accountable. Yeah. To have the social support

Unknown:

and accountability. And yeah, that makes lots of sense too.

Unknown:

And third thing is third thing, yes.

Unknown:

keep a journal of your positive accomplishments.

Unknown:

And then go over it every now and then to reinforce that

Unknown:

positive healing as possible.

Unknown:

positive changes are possible, because when people are really

Unknown:

anxious, or depressed or otherwise out of source, they

Unknown:

develop what they call memory loss.

Unknown:

You know, they can not everything seen they develop it.

Unknown:

The only way to come out of the tunnel vision is to reconnect

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things that you have done in the past and when successful,

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reviewing them

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give you a positive reinforcement and renewed

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strength, people.

Unknown:

Those are the three things I suggest. Yes, like very, very

Unknown:

powerful. I will make sure to write them down and put them in

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the show notes.

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And then yeah, maybe also your contact info if there's people

Unknown:

out there who want to reach out to you.

Unknown:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to to making the time and

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to sharing your wisdom here today with us. It was so very

Unknown:

precious. And yeah, thank you so much. You're most welcome. My

Unknown:

You're most welcome. My suggestion as for contacting me

Unknown:

will be they'll need to come through you. You can contact

Unknown:

because I am involved in so many things that I do not have to

Unknown:

make individual calls. I will make sure that they contact me

Unknown:

first and then I forward.

Unknown:

Yeah, then I will be glad to answer your questions as needed.

Unknown:

Wonderful. Thank you so much. If I say welcome. Thank you for

Unknown:

asking me to come on your program. And anything else in

Unknown:

the future I may help to facilitate please let me know.

Unknown:

So much. Bye. Bye. Have a blessed day. You too.

Unknown:

Well, thank you so much for listening to this episode. I

Unknown:

hope we were able to Yeah, provide you with some tools that

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help you out. If you feel like being in a funk. Feel free to

Unknown:

reach out to me if you have any questions. And I can Yeah, make

Unknown:

the connection between you and Dr. cupules Singh.

Unknown:

Make sure to rate and review this podcast I'm burning to hear

Unknown:

your thoughts and to know that I'm doing you good and helping

Unknown:

you out in life.

Unknown:

And yeah, if you haven't yet subscribed, I will be out there

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