Shownotes
Summer travel should feel like joy. But if you have an LGBTQ+ kid, you already know there is a layer of preparation most families never have to think about. This episode is for you.
The world is not equally safe for LGBTQ+ travelers. Not internationally, and not here at home in the United States. In this episode, Heather Hester walks through what the current global LGBTQ+ safety landscape actually looks like, including which US states have enacted restrictive legislation that directly affects LGBTQ families traveling today, and what every parent needs to know before booking a trip.
In this episode you'll learn:
* How to use the A3M LGBTQ+ Risk Map to assess safety at any destination, domestic or international
* A concrete pre-travel checklist including packing, paperwork, cultural conversations, and real-time safety tools
* How to have an honest safety conversation with your LGBTQ+ kid that empowers rather than frightens them
* Why giving your family permission to tap out of any situation is one of the most powerful things you can do as an ally
Press play to travel smarter, safer, and more intentionally with your LGBTQ kids this summer.
Resources mentioned:
* A3M LGBTQ+ Risk Map 2025: https://www.global-monitoring.com/en/tourism/lgbtqplusriskmap/
* IGLTA — International LGBTQ+ Travel Association: www.iglta.org
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.
Join a private community with other parents and allies just like you!
Stay informed - receive my newsletter
Invite me to speak at your workshop or event
Read my book, Parenting with Pride.
Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!
Connect [email protected]
Watch on YouTube
Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.
For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers practical guidance and education to parents and allies, fostering empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community—including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals—through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.
Mentioned in this episode:
Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmk
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy
Transcripts
In today's episode, not only are you going to get a pre travel checklist for traveling with LGBTQ kids, you are also going to understand the real landscape of LGBTQ safety around the world, including right here in the United States.
Speaker B:Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening.
Speaker B:I'm Heather Hester, and here we talk about fear, belonging, boundaries, courage, love, and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process.
Speaker B:Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed.
Speaker B:They need a parent who is grounded and strong.
Speaker B:Let's take a breath and let's begin.
Speaker A:Somewhere.
Speaker A:Travel with your family should feel like joy, like long dinners, new places, to see that particular magic of being somewhere altogether.
Speaker A:But if you have an LGBTQ kid, you already know that travel requires a layer of preparation that most families never.
Speaker C:Have to think about.
Speaker C:Today, we are going to talk about exactly that.
Speaker A:What to know, what to do, and how to make sure your family can experience the world as safely and fully as possible.
Speaker A:By the end of this episode, you are going to have a concrete pre travel checklist for any family with LGBTQ kids.
Speaker A:You are going to understand the real landscape of LGBTQ safety around the world, including right here in the United States, and you are going to walk away with the tools to have honest, age appropriate safety conversations with your kid before any trip.
Speaker A:So I want to start today's episode telling you a story about a dinner that we never had.
Speaker A:A few years ago, when we were traveling in Italy, we walked into this restaurant in this tiny village, and before we'd even made it to the table, I just knew.
Speaker A:I felt something that was off, something that was in the quality of the stillness when we walked in, the way that the attention shifted in the room in that moment.
Speaker A:I didn't say anything.
Speaker A:I didn't make a scene.
Speaker A:I. I just turned quietly and moved my family right back out the door.
Speaker A:We found somewhere else to eat.
Speaker A:We had an incredible dinner.
Speaker A:And honestly, my kids probably don't even remember it happening.
Speaker A:But I remember it.
Speaker A:And that moment is what this episode is about.
Speaker A:Not the fear of it, but the preparation that allows you to move your family quickly, quietly, and confidently when something doesn't feel right.
Speaker A:And I will share research that will help you avoid those moments in the first place.
Speaker A:Let's start with the global picture, because I think a lot of families underestimate how dramatically safety for LGBTQ people varies around the world.
Speaker A:A3M Global Monitoring publishes an annual LGBTQ risk map that rates countries on a five level scale.
Speaker A:Level one, dark green means low risk.
Speaker C:And genuinely positive attitudes.
Speaker A:Level 5, dark red means same sex relationships are not only illegal, but can result in imprisonment, corporal punishment, or even the death penalty.
Speaker A:The 10 safest countries for LGBTQ travels travelers right now are Malta, Iceland, the Netherlands, Canada, Spain, Norway, Denmark, Uruguay, Germany and Andorra.
Speaker A:These are places with strong legal protections, visible communities and generally inclusive environments.
Speaker A:The 10 most unsafe countries include Iran, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Yemen, Uganda, Afghanistan, the uae, Tanzania, Malaysia and Pakistan.
Speaker A:In several of these countries, being LGBTQ can result in the death penalty.
Speaker A:Now, I'm not saying this to frighten you.
Speaker A:I'm saying it because if you are planning international travel, this is information that you need.
Speaker A:And before anyone thinks that this is just an international issue, I need to stop here and talk about the United states.
Speaker A: e legislative developments in: Speaker A:That is not a small thing to say and I am not going to soften it.
Speaker A:Here is what is happening.
Speaker A:Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, New Hampshire, Ohio, South Carolina and West Virginia have all expanded restrictions on gender affirming care for minors and LGBTQ content in schools.
Speaker A:Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Iowa, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas and West Virginia have made non binary gender entries on official documents more difficult or have banned them outright.
Speaker A:And at the federal level, the current administration has taken an official position rejecting non binary and transgender identity.
Speaker A:See the SCOTUS decision from last week or two weeks ago.
Speaker A:All of which has had real consequences for documentation and access to care.
Speaker A:At the same time, states like California, New York, Illinois and others are actively strengthening protections.
Speaker A:It is highly polarized.
Speaker A:Some regions offer real safety and and others are experiencing significant deterioration.
Speaker A:What this means practically is that domestic travel is not automatically safe travel for LGBTQ families.
Speaker A:Where you are going within the United.
Speaker C:States matters a lot.
Speaker A:I want to be clear about something.
Speaker A:The goal about all of this information is not to keep your family home.
Speaker A:It is to help you travel with your eyes open, your family prepared, and your instincts sharp.
Speaker A:Travel is one of the most powerful things we can do for our kids.
Speaker A:It builds empathy, perspective and resilience.
Speaker A:It shows them that the world is bigger and more beautiful and more complicated than any one place that they have ever lived.
Speaker A:We are not going to stop traveling because the world is imperfect.
Speaker A:We are just going to travel smarter.
Speaker A:And part of traveling smarter is understanding that your LGBTQ kid is always doing a calculation that other kids don't have to do.
Speaker A:They're asking am I safe here?
Speaker A:How do I present myself in this space?
Speaker A:What happens if someone says something?
Speaker A:The more you can do that work alongside them before you leave home, the more they can actually be present and enjoy the trip when you get there.
Speaker A:So here is your pre travel checklist.
Speaker A:These are things we actually do and I want to be very, very specific here.
Speaker A:First.
Speaker A:Research thoroughly and early.
Speaker A:Use LGBTQ specific travel resources.
Speaker A:The A3M risk map I mentioned is a great starting point and I will link it in the show notes iglta, the International LGBTQ Travel association is another excellent, excellent resource.
Speaker A:Look specifically for LGBTQ friendly accommodations, restaurants and neighborhoods at your destination.
Speaker A:2.
Speaker A:Have the cultural conversation, not the restriction conversation.
Speaker A:There is a meaningful difference between saying you can't wear that because it makes you feel uncomfortable and saying let's talk about how people dress in this culture and what might draw unwanted attention.
Speaker A:One is about your comfort, the other is about their safety.
Speaker A:Always, always lead with their safety and let them be part of the conversation and the decision.
Speaker C:3.
Speaker C:Pack.
Speaker A:Intentionally encourage your kid to pack clothes that they feel genuinely comfortable in and that reflect who they are right now.
Speaker A:Encourage at least one comfort item, whatever that might be, something that helps them regulate and recenter.
Speaker A:It could be a playlist, a journal, something physical material that is familiar from home.
Speaker A:Travel is so wonderful and it is also quite overstimulating.
Speaker C:Having a way to come back to themselves matters and will make a huge, huge difference.
Speaker C:4.
Speaker C:Travel with your paperwork.
Speaker C:Birth certificates, adoption certificates, any legal documentation that establishes identity.
Speaker C:This is especially important for trans and non binary travelers whose documents may not match their current presentation.
Speaker C:Know what documentation you have and where it is.
Speaker C:5.
Speaker C:If you are traveling internationally, know the laws of your destination country, not just the general vibe, the actual laws, and know the address and contact information for your country's embassy at your destination.
Speaker C:In the event of a hostile encounter, that information can happen enormously.
Speaker C:6.
Speaker C:Give everyone permission to tap out.
Speaker C:This is one of the most important things on the list.
Speaker C:Everyone in your family has permission to say I need a minute or I'm not comfortable here or I just need to skip this one.
Speaker C:It's no questions, no pressure.
Speaker C:That permission creates safety and it models something important for your kid that their comfort and safety matter more than any itinerary and seven.
Speaker C:Trust your instincts.
Speaker C:If something feels wrong, move.
Speaker C:You do not need to explain it or justify it or wait for something to happen.
Speaker A:Read the ring.
Speaker A:Move your people.
Speaker C:Find someplace else.
Speaker C:I am always scanning every trip, every destination, every room that we walk into that alertness does not go away.
Speaker C:It has become instinctive second nature.
Speaker C:And I have made peace with that because it is love in action.
Speaker C:It is what it means to be the parent of this particular family in this particular world.
Speaker C:And that scanning does not cancel the joy.
Speaker C:I have watched my kids laugh at tables and countries I researched for weeks before we landed.
Speaker A:I felt the particular magic of being somewhere new, all together, all of us together, all of us fully present because.
Speaker C:We did the work ahead of time that allowed us to relax.
Speaker C:This is what I want for your family too.
Speaker C:The joy, full and real and earned.
Speaker C:With your eyes open and your people safe, take a few minutes this week and answer these questions.
Speaker A:What is one trip that you have been wanting to take with your family.
Speaker C:That you have not yet researched through an LGBTQ safety lens?
Speaker C:What would it look like to do that research this week?
Speaker C:I am so glad you're here today.
Speaker A:The link to the A3M LGBTQ risk.
Speaker C:Math that I talked about in this episode as well as other resources I.
Speaker A:Mentioned will be in the show.
Speaker C:Notes Share this episode with a family.
Speaker A:Who is planning travel this summer.
Speaker C:It might be the most important thing they listen to before they go.
Speaker C:I will see you on Friday for the Butterfly Effect.
Speaker C:Until then, keep becoming more human and more kind.
