We are now approaching holiday season and the so called “most wonderful time of the year,” however, holidays can be bittersweet for international students who navigate going back home or staying in Canada. 

Many conflicting emotions arise for international students during the holidays. For those who travel back home, there’s the exhaustion of booking flights, the feeling of being an outsider upon returning, and the frustration of knowing the holidays will soon end. 

On the flip side of the coin, staying in Canada evokes its own set of emotions, including loneliness and homesickness. 

But hey, you are not alone, and this is proven as we have our conversation with Gagandeep Singh a Student Coordinator at York International (YI) and an international student himself. Gagan guides us through his emotions and how he manages them with the help of the ample resources provided by YI.

Resources

• York University Psychology Clinic - http://www.yorku.ca/yupc/
• York International - https://yorkinternational.yorku.ca/yueli/
• #YIFeel - https://yorkinternational.yorku.ca/test-yifeel/
• York International Winter Holidays - https://yorkinternational.yorku.ca/winter-holidays/
• Appletree Medical Centre - https://appletreemedicalgroup.com/
• WellTrack Mobile Application - http://www.welltrack.com/
• Learning Skills Services - http://lss.info.yorku.ca/
• Student Counselling, Health & Wellbeing - https://counselling.students.yorku.ca/
• Glendon Counselling Services - http://www.glendon.yorku.ca/counselling/
• Student Accessibility Services - http://ds.info.yorku.ca/
• Centre for Human Rights Equity & Inclusion - http://rights.info.yorku.ca/
• Mental Wellness Support for Students outside of Ontario - https://counselling.students.yorku.ca/node/1077

Susu B.: Hey YU. Welcome to your future favorite podcast if its’ not already Well-being and YU with your host Susu B. As we reach December and we remember that it's the most wonderful time of the year, we also realized that this time could be difficult for many of us, especially international students who navigate going back home which could not always be a pleasant experience, or stay on campus which could be quiet, lonely. Many conflicting emotions may arise during the holiday season as you try and get the best out of it. Stay on track with your assignments and avoid potential family conflicts. But hey, you are not alone. And remember, a spider man could save the world. Close or far from home, you could also relax this holiday season with family or on your own. In this episode, I had the distinct pleasure of speaking with Gagan, a student lead at York International. In this interview, Gagan taught me that consistent self-care, having a support system and using the available resources can always help you as an international student. I really hope you can join us on this journey. A few mindful minutes can really make a difference. So, let's dive into our conversation with Gagan.

Gagan, how are you doing today?

Gagan: I'm good, how are you?

Susu B.: I'm great. I'm very excited for this episode. I'm so happy that I have a student representing international students. Like just the experience. So, before we begin, can you tell me a little bit about yourself and your role at York International?

Gagan: Yeah. So hi, my name is Gagan and I'm a student lead at York international. I work 15 hours a week on campus at the York International office focusing on planning social event for international students. And I'm in my fourth year of space engineering at Lassonde. So almost done.

Susu B.: Thank God.

Gagan: And outside of my campus job and my academics, I work as a part time sale associate at H & M. So yeah, whenever someone asked me about my work study role, I like to say that I'm responsible for ensuring that folks, especially the new incoming international students sort of take a break from their academics and their day-to-day routine. I think these breaks are really important for your own mental Well-being and gives you the room as well to interact with people and make meaningful connections. Yeah, I work with my other two amazing student coordinators and together we plan events that are both on and off campus. Two of the largest events that we have in our portfolio is Coffee Breaks and Neighborhood exploration. Coffee breaks is basically a weekly drop in event where students come hang out, catch up with other students.

Susu B.: A chill little hang. I love that

Gagan: Year very pretty much like chill scene. And then for neighborhood Exploration. We take students off campus and sort of explore the hotspots of Toronto and what's really happening in.

Susu B.: That's amazing.

Gagan: Yeah. And my role is basically planning, managing, registration and facilitating the groups during the events and throughout the year we also host larger events like President's International Student Reception that welcomes the new students. And at the end of the march, we will be hosting year end celebration for all international students. By hosting these larger events, we aim to celebrate achievements while giving them an opportunity to connect with peers, faculty and staff members as well. Yeah, one of our grad students actually recently, helped us launch an event called Crafting Wellness. That's for grad students. So, it's like coffee break but for grad students. They come, they chill, they connect with each other doing arts and crafts. So yeah, that's about me and that's my role.

Susu B.: That's a huge role. That's amazing. I think that's wonderful. And I love how your identity as an international student yourself.

Gagan: Right.

Susu B.: Allows you to actually connect. Like you're not only doing a job, it's also actually implementing your own experience.

Gagan: Yeah.

Susu B.: In all of these different events. And I love how you guys also go outside like in hot spots in Toronto. I didn't know that's a thing. like now I wish I was an international student so I can come with you guys., because that's amazing. It really helps to you see the good side of Canada really, instead of just focusing on school.

Gagan: Right, right, right.

Susu B.: So, let's get right into the holidays. So, from your experience as an international student, what do the holidays look for you? I know some people like to go home. Some people say in Canada, look for a job you already have, like your H&M job. So, I'm wondering how your holidays look.

Susu B.: As you should. Right.

Gagan: And as I think time progressed, I really found my core group of people in Canada. They are truly my family and my home away from home in a sense. Right. So. And now that I'm so used to of living alone, it's been five years here now.

Gagan: So I do prefer staying here during holidays and I think that's the only window that we can really work and earn good amounts.

Susu B.: I'm glad that you really have like both experiences because my next questions are actually about like those experiences, whether you stay home or you stay in Canada. So, I'm glad like you really have like both sides. And also, I'm really happy that you mentioned having like a support system in Canada because that genuinely helps. I know many people, for example, could focus too much on school and work, but sometimes even joining clubs or joining things like, like York International or things like that just to find this support system is a favor you give to yourself and to your well-being.

Gagan: Right.

Susu B.: Not only to just show it off on like oh, I show in clubs by the way, like I'm a good student. No, like for actually like finding people. So back to our topic. International students who visit home may be faced with stressors such as feeling like outsiders, interacting with family members with whom they do not have healthy relationships. Does this resonate with your experience?

Susu B.: Yeah, I've seen so many videos of people coming out of the army and the dog just takes a second to like smell you. I get that.

Gagan: Right, right, right. So, yeah, that does resonate with me.

Susu B.: It actually resonates with me too. I'm an immigrant. I'm not necessarily an international student as a status, but I'm an immigrant. And I always think before, like, calling someone from back home, are they going toa think of me as this, like, different person? I am, I am a different person like a new identity just joined. My identity as an Egyptian person is now like, oh, and also a Canadian, mentality. Just like, you know, slide into my mentality. So, I get that. So, do you have any suggestions, for how students can still enjoy the holidays, rather be stressed out about all of these intense emotions?

Gagan: So, I'll give you, my example. So, in my family, like, I'm super, super close to my sister. So, when I was like, struggling with these feelings and I had these questions in mind, I sort of confided in her. Talking to her made things so much easier and smoother for me. It's important to identify those core people in your life, who you can turn back to them about what you are going through, no matter you are living here or in your home country. And one important thing I offer is sort of to understand that it's okay if things are not exactly the same as they were when you left. This was something that I personally struggled with for the longest time that I've known. Something that I still struggle with in my mind. Like, I hold it on to the image that the way my family was like my niece still being a baby or my dog still being young and, playful. And it took me a while to realize that just that I have changed and grown in different ways. My family has.

Susu B.: Right.

Gagan: and yeah, lastly, even though I'm an extroverted personality, like I genuinely can talk to anyone, for us, there are times and days when I want just the time for myself to just sort of.

Susu B.: Some space.

Gagan: Yeah, some space. Just do nothing, really. Just be in my bed, watch TikTok or go for a walk or sort of listening to music. And even now, like, I'm always on the go in between my classes and my two jobs, whenever I come home at night, I just sit with myself, just reflect on my day, relax. So, I think you having that me time would be really helpful for students who are visiting back home.

Susu B.: That's amazing. I love how you really provided, like, both an actual example of like, having a support system like your sister, but also, even if you don't have that, just grounding yourself and having your own little self-time and self-care. I love how you mention tik- tok because self-care should not be like yes, go on a walk like clean like a self-care like hygiene wise. No, it could also look like just I call it rotting in bed. Like I'm just like I'm just gonna sit in bed, watch TikTok and you know that's, that's what I need right now. So, I think that's a great example.

Gagan: That's something that I always say to my partner as well like fees in some conflict. I'm like you do you.

Susu B.: Yeah, exactly. Whatever your body needs.

Gagan: Exactly. Yeah.

Susu B.: So, another face of that coin would be the students who are unable to return home for the holidays. Whether that was due to financial abilities or other commitments or for example because simply 12-hour flight it’s just too much. What tips and resources perhaps offered by York international would you recommend for prioritizing their well-being during that time?

Gagan: Yeah, I think during the holidays Toronto is actually very likely with lots of events happening. You can go and see Christmas Market at Distillery District, or you can go to Wonderland for their Winterfest. They are all some amazing things that happened during the holiday season. I suggest keeping an eye out on the blog TO website as it regularly posts about weekly events. I myself follow blog TO and see what exactly is happening in the city.

Susu B.: Right.

Gagan: And there could be some chances that your favorite artist or a singer might be coming in Toronto during that time. In December last year I went to see Doja Ca and was like out of the world experience and but I do understand that for some students it might be hard for them to sort of go on their own to explore these places or they might take some time to form that close friendships and their comfort zone that they would go out with people to explore new places. Right. By York International we actually run a program called Winter activity series during the holiday closure. This program allows students to explore holiday events, guided by students’ staff and sort of gives the student an opportunity to meet new people and find that commonality between others. Like you would be surprised like how many people go through the same feelings that you go through. Right, and in past we have taken students for ice skating and Nathan Phillips Square, and we went to Holiday Market as well in Distillery District. So, I do recommend to keeping an eye on the York International events calendar page for more information and as we approach the winter break and something that I would cannot stress enough but dress appropriately guys for winters.

Susu B.: Yeah, that's a great advice because not Everyone is aware of.

Gagan: No, like, in my first year, I got sick, like, so bad. And I. After that, I just sort of learned to, like, layer myself up and just go with those warm jackets on. And having worked in retail for three years now, I would suggest, like, there are some great deals that happen during that time. During the Boxing Day and on Black Friday.

Susu B.: Right.

Gagan: So, checking those out and getting your gloves, hats, or whatever works for you.

Susu B.: Yeah, I totally agree. And I'm glad you're mentioning, like, retail and stuff, because I worked at a thrift store.

Gagan: Right.

Susu B.: So, I totally understand that sometimes, like, finances could not be the best, which could be one of the reasons why you don't want to go home, because you don't want to just spend, like, thousands of dollars on, like, the ticket and everything. So at least treat yourself while you're here.

Gagan: Yeah.

Susu B.: Like, I like how you mentioned, like, Doja Cat. I know, like, it could be expensive to go to a concert. Yes. But it's not as expensive as going all the way home. So maybe treat yourself with that. If that's in your budget. You could treat yourself with new clothes from, from the retail store or from, the thrift store.

Gagan: So that's exactly what I do as well. Like, when things get rough, I'm just retail therapy. My new. As Rihanna said, it's a coping mechanism.

Susu B.: And, you know, it could be worse.

Susu B.: So, that's one way to cope, with things, as long as you have healthy boundaries with it. I know I've spoken about some negative emotions or feelings that may arise during the holidays, whether students are visiting back home or staying local. Let's talk about the students who do visit home and return to university after the holidays. There can be a sense of sadness and frustration coming back to the school routine, studying, working, possibly even regret about not being able to spend as much time with family and friends. What advice do you have for these students to navigate those different emotions as they return to Canada?

Susu B.: I think this is great advice even for non-international students because I feel coming back from the holidays in general is just a universal experience. Whether that was like you being, being an international student who is navigating these emotions or just a student, you know, holiday just ended. I'm supposed to now go get back to like you know, the hustle of January and actually, getting back to work or getting back to whatever and it could be pretty frustrating. But feeling these emotions is good. But I'm also happy that we live in a modern society where there are phones. Right. I personally even the example I provided earlier when I call my family back home or when I call my friends back home, that made me like just like you know, like the light bulb for me. Oh, I can call these people back home. I know there are different circumstances and time difference is also a big thing. But being able to at least see people on zoom or whatever it is also another thing that could push your well-being up a little bit when you're going through like all of these intense emotions of like oh, I did not have enough time with these people for sure.

Gagan: For sure.

Susu B.: So, I totally understand them. I think understanding your own identity and sense of self is really the essence of well-being. Some students may struggle with the idea that they need to switch or turn off their Canadian identity as they go back home and turn it back on when they return to Canada. Do you experience such conflict with your identities?

Gagan: Yeah, that this is something very real and I still experience it. My cousins and friends from back who always joke that now I'm too Canadian for the Indian culture and I'm anyways too Indian for Canadian culture.

Susu B.: Right, right.

Gagan: So, I do definitely experience the switch in identities.

Susu B. Yeah, I totally get it too that that was the example that I was thinking about that when I'm talking with my family, like home. I feel like, am I supposed to be saying this? Is that too open minded? Sometimes. But then I realized that we have different cultures. Especially like when I took anthropology and cultural psychology. Currently I'm in it as well. And these are other resources that you can, I'm pretty sure you can take as international student that could help you, you know, navigate these emotions when you actually take it as a course. When you take these things as a course, you realize that yeah, cultural differences, you shouldn't elicit negative emotions at least. What are some ways that the students may be able to connect with both identities in a healthy intersection though?

Gagan: So, I think one of the best ways I've found to cope with this is by embracing both my identities. I've come to realize that living in a different country naturally leads you to adopt a new way of living. And that's completely okay. And it is important to sort of find ways to incorporate aspects of both culture in your daily life as well. For example, for me, like I am a big-time foodie, and I love trying different cuisines. If there's a new restaurant, I am m definitely going there.

Susu B.: Right

Gagan: But still like every week I still cook myself like the Indian lentils and rice. I think that's just my comfort food. Like that just calms me now. So yeah, sort of incorporating those, those aspects of both your cultures and participating in cultural activities is also sort of a great way to share your aspects of home culture with your Canadian friends and vice versa. Coffee breaks are certainly a perfect example for this, and they are the great opportunity as well. In past we have had attendees share their stories and experiences from back home. Recently during a coffee break we had attendees, and everyone wrote hello, how are you? In their native language. So, I wrote in Hindi and then someone else wrote in Urdu and then in Persian as well. And then we just realized that how language can be so similar when they are written sometimes and weirdly just bought us closer.

Susu B.: Yeah, that' that's beautiful. I think it's really the simple things. It's all about the simple things. Food is also a great example. I'm really glad that you mentioned it because as I mentioned in the anthropology class, actually one of the books that we had to read is literally titled Food in Cuba. And that was a whole book that we were supposed to read because apparently food is something that could build the whole culture for sure. And obviously language as well. Just seeing your, your written language on paper and realizing oh, we have a lot of similarities is a beautiful thing. I know. Although most of my questions were about the holiday season in particular, I think it would be a good idea to know how international students could prepare for stressful situations in general throughout the year, are there specific York U resources that could help the students maintain their well-being prior to the holiday season?

Susu B.: Yeah, I'm sure about that.

Gagan: No, because I checked one of the gyms outside of campus and it was way too expensive. So yeah, I would definitely check out the Tate McKenzie center if, if you are into sports and gym and stuff. And they also have yoga classes and various sports related classes. So, I definitely recommend to checking it out. And something that I do use is the Benett center that offers free appointments for students facing mental health challenges. Talking to one of the mental health advisors there can be incredibly helpful when you're feeling low or stressed. I personally go through anxiety so every other two week I'm just with them just to sort of talk it out. Right.

Susu B.: Yeah. And I'm glad that you're saying that because that's the whole thing with representation. We shouldn't be shy to say that. Yes, I go to the student counseling health and well-being that's, that's, I'm proud. Like that’s. That's a great thing. And they are a great resource. Well, that's my department. So obvious I'm biased but they are a great resource. They have same day appointments; they open up at 9am M. So that's, that's, you know, they're there, for you.

Gagan: And they are professionals and you, when you go there you just know you are in safe hands.

Susu B.: Right, right.

Gagan: And yeah. And lastly, I think York also hosts well-being week during fall and winter term with events focused on student wellness. So, I would suggest folks to surely check out the activities happening around campus during this time.

Susu B.: Yeah, I think these are great resources. Actually, you're the first person to mention Tait McKenzie as a resource and I think that's beautiful because yeah, not a lot of people know about like a gym membership for dollars. 25 a year is amazing. I like some, some of the other gyms, I'm sure. You visited. $25 is like biweekly, so that's amazing. And they have a pool.

Gagan: they do have.

Susu B.: I know that's, that's something that actually like sold it for me. I was like, wow, they have a pool. I did not know that. So, I think that's, s that's a wonderful resource to really like maintain your well-being throughout the year physically and mentally. You provided both fo that, so thank you for that. do you think there is a way that other non-international students or even professors could contribute to support you and other, international students during the holiday season or throughout?

Gagan: Yeah, most certainly. Domestic students and professors can play a vital role in supporting international students during the holiday season. By fostering the inclusivity and offering both practical and emotional support, they can help make the season more enjoyable and less isolating for those who are far from home. I've been fortunate enough to have people in my life who understands and respects my emotional needs. For example, although I don't have any immediate family in Canada, but my best friend has been kind enough to invite me over to her family who lives here in Ottawa just to like sort of spend some time with them in the hope that I’m miss my home or my parents less and just sort of get that homely feeling. So yeah, and it has been incredibly heartwarming for me that they opened the doors for me. I think now they are in my emergency contact list at my other job.

Susu B.: Oh, that's so cute.

Gagan: and professors also can support students by being more flexible with deadlines and regularly checking on students with their well-being in the classroom. They can encourage discussions on sort of cultural diversity and inclusivity while also showing interests and respect for diverse cultural backgrounds for all students. And I think for me as well, like I still am learning so much about different cultures. Like I'm not an expert and knowing different cultures, but sort of being open to knowing about cultures and being able to acknowledge that okay, you didn't make mistake. It goes a long way for other students who are not from your own culture.

Gagan: Yeah, for sure.

Susu B.: Right. So, I think that's it's really about the simple things, for sure. so, yeah, Gagan, that was uh, an amazing, uh, interview. Is there anything else you would like to say or add?

Gagan: Yeah, I like to sort of emphasize the importance of creating a community where international students can feel seen, heard and valued. While holiday seasons can be particularly challenging, it is also an opportunity to build those lasting connections, friendships and memories that goes beyond the cultural boundaries. Simple gestures, as we discussed, of kindness, understanding and inclusion can have a profound impact on international student experience and can help create a more supportive and cohesive environment on campus. And lastly, always, always remember that you are never alone.

Susu B.: Yeah, that was beautiful. That was very poetic actually. Thank you so much. I really love having you as my guest today.

Gagan: thank you. Well, it was my honor to be here and, and I hope that I'm able to create an impact on students for are joining are still here.

Susu B.: I'm sure you will.

Gagan: Thank you for having.

Susu B.: I really want to thank our special guests today. Gagan Singh. I really enjoyed our enlightening conversation. Thank you, Gagan, for being such a valuable resource. If you are a student at York University, you can connect with your international by visit visiting their website at yorkinternational.yorku.ca on the website you can find out more information about upcoming events, coffee breaks, the global peer program and international student and immigration advising and more. You can also find links to all the services Gagan mentioned in the show notes for this episode along with more valuable information, tips and resources. Visit our website at go.yorku.ca/wbpodcast and click on the episode link and look for the episode International Student Far from Home. This episode was co-produced by the well-being and new podcast team. Our podcast coordinator is Prabhleen Luthra. Our technical editor is Ethan Muir and I'm your host Susu B. And for the today's quote of the day, “Simple gestures of kindness, understanding and inclusion can have a profound impact.” Thank you for listening.