What do you do when you’ve outgrown the life you built?

In the Season 4 premiere of Dare To Be Iconic, Amanda Paolicelli is answering that question from the middle of her own life disruption. After packing her life into two suitcases and moving from Orlando, Florida to New York City, Amanda opens up about what it means to outgrow a chapter without hating the life you’re leaving behind—and to choose a life that feels more like you.

Amanda shares why she knew it was time for a change, how healing from sexual violence shaped her desire to reclaim her life and breathe differently, and why starting over doesn’t mean you failed. She also breaks down how she prepared for her new chapter by intentionally researching communities, opportunities, and experiences that could help her build the life she wanted—from dance workshops and boxing classes to new friendships and joining Day One New York’s Associates Board.

Plus, Amanda introduces the Life Disruption Audit, a series of questions to help you identify what you’ve outgrown, where fear is keeping you stuck, and what you may be ready to disrupt.

Season 4 is officially here—and this season, we’re Daring to Disrupt.

Because sometimes you don’t need to burn down your life because it’s bad. Sometimes you burn down the old rules, expectations, and versions of yourself that no longer fit.

And before we go, Amanda brings you Amanda’s Iconic Insights—three things she knows now that she didn’t know then about outgrowing chapters, embracing uncomfortable growth, and daring to be yourself.

Connect with Amanda:

Follow Amanda's DTBI Journey!

Secure your spot for our next Empowerment Event!

Shop the "Own Your Sexy" Collection!

Discover your iconic signature scent with Oakcha!

Got a question for Amanda or a topic you'd love to hear discussed on a future episode? Submit your question to the "Dare To Be Iconic Hotline" today!

Timestamps:

00:00 Season Four Premiere

01:07 New Studio, New Life

02:24 One Way to NYC

03:35 Choosing Yourself

07:18 Healing and Outgrowing

09:13 Setting Yourself Up for Success

14:02 Freedom Over Fear

15:10 Life Disruption Audit

17:49 Burn Down to Level Up

19:55 Amanda’s Iconic Insights

20:57 Insight Two: Uncomfortable Growth

22:48 Insight Three: Be Yourself

24:40 Season Four Mission

27:15 See you next week!

P.S. We’re halfway to 100 YouTube subscribers! 👀 Subscribe to the channel and help us hit 100—because when we do, I might have a little giveaway up my sleeve… 👀🎁

Amanda Paolicelli:

What's up, radiant icons?

2

And welcome back to Dare To Be

Iconic, the podcast made for icons

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who are daring to be themselves.

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I'm your host Amanda Paolicelli

and radiant icons, for today's tea

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time sesh, well we're celebrating.

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We are celebrating because it

is the season four premiere.

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Can you believe it?

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I literally feel like yesterday we were

just celebrating 100 episodes, and here

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we are at 101 episodes and season four.

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Like that's how long we have been

spilling the tea together, and I

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absolutely love it radiant icons.

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I mean, I wouldn't be able to

do any of this without you guys.

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And you guys there is so much that

has happened that I haven't been

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able to spill the tea on, and well,

season four is our answered prayer

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because that is where I will be

answering all your burning questions.

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But first I do have to address the

elephant in the room, especially if

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you are watching the YouTube version

of the Dare To Be Iconic podcast.

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And while you may notice that my studio

looks a little bit different . It's

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not purple and gray and there's

not a picture of my face behind me.

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There's cheetah print but there's

not a picture of my face , and well,

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that's because I, I blew up my life.

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I burned it down actually.

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I burned down my old life and I

found freedom in New York City . And

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that's so fitting for season four,

radiant icons, because season four

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is all about daring to disrupt.

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What are you willing to disrupt?

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What are you willing to burn down

in order to become the version of

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you that you are meant to become?

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And well, what's more fitting for the

season four premier than to, you know,

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spill the tea on me doing exactly that.

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I burned down my own life.

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I blew it up.

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That's how I dared to disrupt.

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So let's get into it.

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Are you ready radiant icons?

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Because your tea time

sesh is starting now.

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So here's the truth, radiant icons.

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I packed up my life in two suitcases on

that one-way ticket to LaGuardia, to LGA,

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not because I hated my life in Florida.

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I loved my life in Florida.

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I'm born and raised in the O-Town, okay?

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For 27 years.

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I love me some Orlando, Florida.

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But there gets a point in your

life where you realize, ah,

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maybe, maybe I've outgrown it.

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And that's exactly what happened to me.

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I realized that I've outgrown

my life in Florida and that I

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am ready to disrupt my life.

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I'm ready to burn it down.

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I'm ready to blow it the fuck up.

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And so that's exactly what I did

because, radiant icons, sometimes

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your life does not need to be fixed.

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Sometimes it needs to be disrupted.

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And so today's tea time sesh is

not just about my life in New York

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City and packing up my bags with

that one-way ticket, you know?

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Like, that's part of it obviously

because that's how I'm building a

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life of freedom from scratch, right?

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But, you know, today's tea

time sesh is about identity.

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It's about freedom and fear and

starting over, and what happens

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when you finally choose yourself.

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And so to piggyback off of that

choice of choosing yourself, because

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you know I'm a big component of

the Choose You journey, okay?

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Like, I love it when we

say let's choose ourselves.

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And that's exactly what I did.

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And I get asked a lot,

"Why, why did you do it?

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Why did you pack up your bags,

pack up your life and come here?"

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And the simple answer is I did it for me.

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I chose myself.

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I, I chose this idea of starting

over so that I can find freedom.

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As we know, my word of the year for

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in my choices and in my voice and in

my body and in my decisions, to have

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freedom in every sense of the word.

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And so I chose to give myself the

permission, to give myself the freedom

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to disrupt my life and try something new

and start over because the worst thing

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that could have happened is, well, I

fucking hated it and I came back home.

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Like, you know?

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But that's exactly the

opposite of what happened.

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In fact, my life is so big and

so beautiful and so rich and so

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joyous because I chose myself, And

I decided to try something new I

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decided to try something new because

I was ready for that next chapter.

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There comes a time in your life, I think

especially in your 20s where you realize,

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oh well maybe I have squeezed everything

I could out of this place that I used to

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call home Maybe I've hit the threshold.

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Maybe I am ready for something new.

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Maybe I'm ready for a new chapter

where, you know, I- I choose

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myself and I had realized that I

squeezed everything I could out of

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that Florida chapter of my life.

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I mean it was a long ass 27

chapters but you know what?

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I realized that that's where I am and

that- that's okay It's normal In fact…

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In fact, it's actually encouraged

that we move away from the place that

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we call home and try something new

Because that's where we find the version

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of us that we are meant to become.

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I mean That's what season four is

all about: What are you willing to

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disrupt in order to become the version

of you that you were meant to become.

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I was willing to take the risk, high

risk, high reward, radiant icons.

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The best risk you will ever take in

your life is the one on yourself where

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you get to choose yourself and have the

freedom to do whatever the hell you want.

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We're young and we're hot and we're

free and we're sexy and iconic.

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I might as well just add that on there.

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But you know what I'm

saying, radiant icons?

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Like, we have the freedom and the

permission to have those realizations

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of, "Oh, maybe I want something more.

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Maybe I want to try something new.

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Maybe I should just say

fuck fear and do it anyway."

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And you should.

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You should say, "Fuck the

fear," and do it anyway.

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You know?

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Like, that's what you should do.

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You should do that in your 20s.

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And like going back to when

everyone asked me, "Oh Amanda

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why, why, why, why, why, why?"

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And my answer was simply myself.

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I wasn't running from a bad life.

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Yes, Florida carried a

lot of trauma for me.

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I don't think it's a secret, especially

if you've been following my journey on

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social media that this has been one of

the most challenging years of my life.

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Healing out loud from sexual violence

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is one of the hardest things

I've ever done in my life.

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It is so emotionally exhausting,

it's mentally taxing, and physically

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my body has been violated so much

that it just holds so much trauma.

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And yeah, all of my assaults

happened in Florida.

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Okay?

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That's the truth of it.

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So yeah, maybe that did play a

little bit into my decision but I

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wasn't running away from a bad life.

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I just needed a chance to breathe.

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I needed a chance to be myself in

a place where it wasn't touched or

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tainted by being sexually violated

If I'm being so honest with you guys.

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I think sometimes we forget that we are

allowed to outgrow something that once

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served us like that's okay and that's

what I realized I realize that the Amanda

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who needed Florida was not the Amanda who

was ready for her next chapter you know?

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Like And that's okay That's okay to

realize that Okay like I've outgrown my

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hometown I've outgrown that version of

myself I've outgrown that chapter of my

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life and I'm ready to embrace something

new Something filled with freedom and

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that's exactly what I did and that's

what I encourage you guys to do as well.

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And also something I want to emphasize,

radiant icons, is that before I

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packed up my bags and came here,

I didn't just magically hope that

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everything would work out for me.

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No, that would have been delusional.

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And I'm already delusional, but that

would've been like top-tier delusion

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like, "Oh, my goodness, Amanda."

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Like, you have to set yourself up

for success, radiant icons, okay?

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And so for me, before I came here,

I researched dance studios, I

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researched boxing studios, I researched

organizations that maybe I wanted

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to be involved with, I researched

communities that I wanted to find.

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I put in the hard work because

that's what you have to do when you

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are finding freedom, when you are

choosing the uncomfortability, right?

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When you are choosing to start over,

you have to actively put the work in.

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Nothing changes if you just sit on

your hands and hope for the best.

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You have to actively participate

in the life that you want.

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You have to work hard for it, okay?

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I think that's what a lot of people

forget when it's like this concept of

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starting over like, no, it's not fun.

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Well, no, it is fun actually.

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Starting over is a lot of fun.

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But it's not cute, right?

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It's messy.

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It's uncomfortable.

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It's filled with this choice of freedom,

and there's a little bit of fear, right?

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But in order to combat that fear, you have

to actively work towards what you want.

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If you want a life of freedom, if

you want to build your life from

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scratch, you have to, have to, have

to sit in that uncomfortability

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and put yourself out there.

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You have to do the research.

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You have to do the hard work.

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You have to set yourself up for success.

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I knew I was coming to New York

City not knowing a single soul.

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Yeah, I had some family here,

but that wasn't really gonna help

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me, so I had to do the hard work.

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It was up to me to build the life that

I wanted, and so I had to put in the

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work to create opportunities for myself.

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I had to sign up for the workshop even

though it scared the shit out of me.

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I danced in the streets of New York City

the first week I got here, and I met

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some of my closest friends in that heels

workshop, and it was all because I chose

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to put myself out there and actively

participate in the life that I wanted.

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I set myself up for success.

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I now know how to box, and it's

because I set myself up for success.

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I researched boxing studios,

and now I go to boxing every

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single week, and I love it.

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I feel so empowered and so liberated,

and now I know how to fight a man.

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I've always wanted that, and

now I know how to, right?

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But I set myself up for success.

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I knew I wanted that.

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I now sit on a board, Day One New

York, that works towards providing

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education and resources for young

people in the state of New York for

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dating abuse and sexual violence.

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I have a whole community of advocates

and of supporters, something I would've

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never ever imagined nine years ago ever

doing anything to that magnitude, right?

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Sitting on a board and finding community

in that board and in that organization.

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That has been one of the most

fulfilling things I've ever

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done in my life is doing that.

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But I would've never ever, ever

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had that opportunity if I didn't chase

it, if I didn't research it, if I didn't

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find it and make the opportunity for

myself and send that cold email and say,

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"Hey, this is what I bring to the table.

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I want to volunteer.

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I want to lend my voice.

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I hope you have a spot for me."

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And well, they did, 'cause duh.

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My first week in New York was

filled with so much magic.

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I had my dance class workshop where

I was dancing in the streets of New

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York, and then I had the opportunity

to attend Day One New York's Voices

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Against Violence Gala because

I sit on the associates board.

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None of those amazing memories and

opportunities would have never happened

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if I didn't just take the risk on

myself and set myself up for success.

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Yeah, it was a little uncomfortable.

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I didn't know anyone.

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I'm the new girl in town but hey,

I'd rather be uncomfortable and

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free than comfortable and safe.

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I'd rather be uncomfortable and free.

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In fact, I'd rather be free

than fearful radiant icons.

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And that leads me to my next point.

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When I chose to start over, right?

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And to build my life from scratch,

I knew that I wanted freedom.

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And so if you are on the brink of

your own transition, I challenge

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you to ask yourself this: What do

I really want from this change?

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What is it that I am craving?

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What is it that I am looking for?

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For me, my answer was simple.

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I wanted freedom.

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I wanted the freedom to breathe

and to be me and to explore

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and to dream and to just be.

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I just wanted to be radiant icons, okay?

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And so I chose freedom.

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That was what I was craving.

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So if you are on this same path

of deciding what do you truly want

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for yourself in this next chapter,

what is it that I'm looking for?

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I challenge you to ask yourself that

because that answer will lead you

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exactly to where you were supposed to go.

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It's leading you to that disruption.

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In fact radiant icons, get out

your pen and paper, get our your

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journal because we're gonna do

a little life disruption audit.

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So here are the questions I am challenging

you to ask yourself when you are on this

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brink of transition: what isn't working?

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What currently feels misaligned with

the person that you are becoming?

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What are you tolerating?

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What have you accepted simply

because it's familiar or comfortable?

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What are you afraid to change?

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If fear wasn't making the

decision, what would you change?

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And lastly, what would my life look

like if I chose freedom instead of fear?

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That is your life disruption audit.

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And I know radiant icons that even after

doing the life disruption audit It may

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not give you all the answers that you

were looking for while you are on the

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brink of this big decision in your life.

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Should I go for it or should

I not go for it, right?

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That freedom versus comfort.

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In fact, it may give you more questions

than answers because it's scary.

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It's scary holding up a mirror to yourself

and thinking about what do I truly want?

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Do I want to start over?

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What does my life look like when I choose

freedom over fear, freedom over comfort?

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Am I okay with being uncomfortable?

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This life disruption audit is

just scratching the surface.

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It's challenging you and testing

you to look deeper, to think

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harder on what you truly want.

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And even if you're still a

little fearful, I get it.

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It's okay.

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I was really scared.

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I was actually terrified.

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I cried my eyes out.

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I cried my eyes out saying

goodbye to my parents.

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I don't know why I'm getting emotional

right now . Season four premiere baby!

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I knew we were gonna cry somewhere

in this tea time sesh but…

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I was terrified out of my mind to leave

everything that I knew 'cause yeah staying

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in Florida would have been the easier,

the safest most comfortable choice for me

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But I knew I hit a wall.

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I knew I outgrew it.

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I knew I needed something more.

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I needed my freedom.

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And so if you are still

fearful of making that jump.

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I want you to listen to me

when I say this, radiant icons:

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Burning down your old life, radiant

icons, does not mean destroying your past.

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I never ever, ever want you

to forget your past, ever.

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In fact, I want you, I

encourage you to embrace it.

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Making this choice of burning down

your old life simply means honoring

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what it taught you and deciding that

it doesn't get to dictate what's next.

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Be willing to burn down the version

of you that has stopped evolving

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and make room for the version of

you that is ready to level up.

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That's what I want you to take with

you as you go on this journey of

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looking internally and listening

to the universe within yourself,

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of what do you truly want?

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What are you looking for?

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What is it?

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Listen to the universe within yourself

because we have the answers within us.

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We don't need any external answers

or signs or whatever it is.

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We have a universe within us.

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Listen to it especially, especially

when you are deciding to disrupt your

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life and burn it down and blow it up

because maybe that disruption is what

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you truly need to become the version

of you that you were meant to become.

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I know I needed it and I'm so happy I did.

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So what is it for you?

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What are you willing to

burn down and to disrupt?

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Before we end today's tea time

sesh, we're going into a new segment

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for season four, i'm so excited.

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Ooh, we're back to

singing again on the mic.

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It feels good.

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But anyway, let's get into our new

segment which is Amanda's iconic insights.

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Three things I know now

that I didn't know then.

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My first iconic insight is you can outgrow

a life without hating the life you had.

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For me, Florida was not

a mistake, radiant icons.

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I want to emphasize that

it was not a mistake.

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That version of me was never a mistake.

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None of this is a mistake, okay?

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Outgrowing something doesn't

invalidate what it gave you and

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Florida gave me a lot, okay?

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It's just sometimes a chapter did

exactly what it was supposed to

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do and then it ended and that's

exactly what happened for me.

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So, that's my first iconic insight.

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My second iconic insight is you have

to be willing to be uncomfortable to

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build a life that feels like yours.

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Starting over, like I said, is not cute.

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It is not glamorous.

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It's a lot of hard fucking work.

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You have to be willing to participate in

the life that you want, radiant icons.

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You need to be willing

to introduce yourself.

315

You need to be willing to get lost.

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I've gotten lost so many times

on that damn subway, okay?

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It's bad.

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One time I got stuck trying to go to

the Church Street Station, never again.

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It was all dark.

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My dad didn't know where I was.

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He was looking at my location.

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He was no help genuinely.

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I had to ask some random stranger.

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I still was lost w- I m- It was bad.

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But it's okay to get lost basically.

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I've gotten lost a lot of

times, but you know what?

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I'm getting better.

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I'm getting better.

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Um,it's okay like to go to events alone.

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It's okay to get rejected.

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It's normal.

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It's part of life.

333

It's okay to not know anyone,

radiant icons, and it's okay to do

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it anyway even if you're scared.

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In fact, you should do it, okay?

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If you're scared, you're meant to do it.

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It's the uncomfortability of

it all 'cause that's where we

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grow the most, radiant icons.

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But you just-- You can't build

a new life while clinging to

340

the comfort of your old one.

341

You have to force yourself to go outside

of your comfort zone 'Cause comfort

342

isn't inherently bad, radiant icons,

but it can stop us from evolving and

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growing and that's what it was for me.

344

So yeah, I had to be willing to be a

little bit uncomfortable to build the

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life that feels like mine and that

choice was moving away from everything

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that I knew and truly building a life

from scratch and putting in the hard

347

fucking work and finding my communities

and setting myself up for success.

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So anyway let's get to

iconic insight number three.

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Oh my goodness!

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Oo, so DTBI coded.

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The more you dare to be yourself the

more your life starts to feel like yours.

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The biggest lesson that I have learned

From New York, is that being yourself

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is truly a power and I know that's

so cliche because Dare To Be Iconic

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is all about dare to be yourself

but truly I mean it radiant icons.

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Dare to be yourself.

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When you are yourself and you are

in your own presence and in your own

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power people are magnetized to it okay?

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Things just…

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They just work out because the more you

embrace who you are the more you find

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your people, the more opportunities are

attracted to you, the more confident

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you are and your community just

continues to grow and grow and grow.

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And you know what?

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I took the risk on myself.

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I took the risk on myself of daring to

be myself and well, it changed everything

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'cause here I am . But I've never been

more happy, more joyful, more happier.

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I don't know if I already said that

but like I'm a lot happier here.

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I'm a lot more sparkly

here, shinier, joyful.

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I know I already said that

but like I am just like I'm

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truly in my full essence here.

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Like when you know it in your bones

that you are meant to be somewhere

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it's truly fucking magical and

those are my iconic insights.

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All right, radiant icons

that is your tea time sesh.

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If you enjoyed today's episode make

sure to subscribe, to leave a rating,

374

a review, to tell your friends about

us, to tell everyone and anyone

375

because you know we love what?

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Say it with me now, more radiant

icons in our iconic community of ours.

377

Oof I miss saying that on the

mic, radiant Icons ooh la la.

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But anywho anyway let's get serious

real quick okay let's get serious.

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Um season four Radiant Icons

holy shit Holy shit i never

380

would have imagined in my wildest

dreams when I picked up that mic

381

back in 2024 that we would be one hundred

and one episodes later and four seasons

382

like never in my wildest dreams but

that's all because of you guys and your

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love and support for me and Dare To Be

Iconic on this lovely dare to be iconic

384

journey oh Love it so much but truly

I want to talk about season four real

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quick because season four she's that

girl I mean all the seasons are that

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girl but Season Four She's That Girl

because she has a new energy for her.

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Season four is dedicated

to answering this question.

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So every tea time sesh for season four

will be answering or revolving around

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the question, what are you willing

to disrupt to become the version of

390

you that you were meant to become?

391

And in this idea of being a

disrupter, there is this power

392

or energy of fearlessness.

393

And to me, radiant icons, I think

there is nothing more fearless in

394

this world than daring to be yourself.

395

The core message of Dare

To Be Iconic, right?

396

You are so fearlessly and

unapologetically daring to be yourself

397

even in the face of disruption, and

challenge, and uncomfortability.

398

That's pretty fucking iconic

if you ask me, radiant icons.

399

And season four is dedicated to those

conversations, the conversations where

400

we disrupt what is expected of us.

401

We disrupt all of that bullshit, honestly.

402

The habits, the beliefs, the

relationships, everything that is put upon

403

us that we are just expected to accept on

this journey of daring to be ourselves,

404

well, well, we're disrupting it.

405

We are challenging it.

406

And yeah, it may be a little bit

uncomfortable, but again, within that

407

uncomfortability is growth, and there's

nothing more powerful than that.

408

Well, I guess you can counter that by

saying there's nothing more powerful

409

than daring to be yourself, but that's

for another tea time sesh, right?

410

Anyway, radiant icons, I'm

so excited for season four.

411

Let's dare to disrupt, okay?

412

Let's disrupt and be fearless

and be fucking iconic, okay?

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Anyway, I'll chat with y'all

next week, radiant icons.

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Remember, dare to be iconic.

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Bye.