Please join us in the chat at the Damn You Uncle Lewis VITA Awards Livestream on September 8 at 9pm on TWITCH @screamqueenzhq

Head for the hills! Another Classic episode of ScreamQueenz has broken out of the containment facility and is heading right this way!

This time, it's an excerpt from Episode 25 from January 27, 2011, and it's a doozy.

On a bitterly cold January evening, I was invited to a screening of the new SyFy feature MEGA PYTHON vs GATOROID starring 80's icons Debbie Gibson & Tiffany.

But this was no ordinary industry screening.

It was the Red Carpet World Premiere at the legendary Zeigfeld Theater, and everybody who is NOBODY was there. (Click here for event photos)

This segment isn't a review of the movie, but an account of one gay man's unexpected trip to D-List Heaven.

MEGA PYTHON vs GATOROID is currently available on Tubi

Directed by Mary Lambert, written by Naomi L. Selfman and starring Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, A. Martinez and Micky Dolenz

SAINT DROGO is now available for 48-hour rentals at monstermakeupllc.com

Mentioned in this episode:

New ScreamQueenz URL

The ScreamQueenz Podiverse is now located at www.ScreamQueenz.net

Hello again, my beautiful screamers. And welcome back for another episode of ScreamQueenz Classics. I hope your summer's going well and I hope that you are fabulous.

Of course you're fabulous. Look at you. So this time we're doing something a little different yet. We're going Back to episode 25. We're doing a clip from that episode.

And we're not talking about a movie, per se, because this was the time that I got invited to a screening of the sci fi movie Mega Python vs Gatoroid starring Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

And I thought it was just going to be a regular screening, but instead it turned out to be the world premiere red carpet at the Ziegfeld Theater here in New York City. Tuxes and glamorous. And it was D list heaven. And it was one of the most fabulous gay nights of my life.

So for the most part, I'm going to be talking about that more than the movie, because the movie is a movie. It's Mega Python versus Gatorade. How good is it going to be? But come on, you'll find it out.

It was just everybody who's nobody was there, including me. I count myself on that. Nobody's that was there. And I had such a good time being there and talking about it. It was fun to revisit that.

I think Dustin diamond. That Dustin diamond may be dead. Alan Thicke, definitely dead. The Ziegfeld fear has been torn down a long time ago.

So there's a whole lot of ghosts happening. There's ghosts and Gatoroids. It's particularly bonkers episode and I think you're going to love it.

Some more great news, Saint Drogo, the incredible queer horror film that I reviewed with Dan Dominguez a while back. The one by from the death drop Gorgeous boys at Monster Makeup is for finally available for rental. Yay.

But you're not going to find it in any of the big streaming sites. Not an Amazon or Hulu or any of these things. The Monster Makeup boys are doing this independently, so all the proceeds go directly to them.

So support some career artists and head on over to Monster Makeup LLC and get a 48 hour rental of Saint Drogo. It's the best damn thing I've seen in years. I can't tell you Enough and I'm not going to tell you again.

The link is down there in the show notes, so use it. In other news, Damian Lewis, we're hosting our first livestream event that we've done in a long time.

It's the first time that we've done with this new software and you are all invited on the Patreon feed. We have reached the end of season two of Friday the 13th, the series. So we're doing the same thing that we did when we reached the end of season one.

We had an award show.

We, Maya, Trae and I picked all of our favorite villains and victims, curses and kills, and we put them out there for the listeners to vote on to pick the winners. Who's going to win the best, the best of season one. And now we're going to do it for season two and you're invited.

It's probably going to be a hot mess because it's the first time with the this new software and it's the first time we've done a live stream in a very long time. I'm anticipating it to be a technical nightmare. But you're invited to come anywhere. Just come hang out in the chat.

It'll be a good time to just see you and hang out with you and have some laughs. Make fun of us. Maya and I thrive on mockery, so by all means, Trae, not so much.

You might break Trae, but Maya thrive on Anyway, that's going to be on Tuesday, September 8th at 9:00pm Eastern Standard Time and it's probably going to be just on Twitch. I'm still working on that because Riverside doesn't work like every other live streaming platform that I've worked with.

So that's why I have to relearn everything. So I'm dedicating my week to getting that done. So hopefully we'll see you there on the 8th. But you know what? That's then right now is now.

And right now we're going to the past. That makes sense to you? Too bad, because here we go.

Deep in the Everglades.

As long as they're all brown nosing each other, they ain't out here trying to arrest us for hunting.

A danger is lurking See something in the water Created by man Things are worse than we thought Nature is threatened the only way to Stop it is to find something bigger. You want a bigger gator? Something better? I'll get you. Responsible for that man's death today. That's impossible.

There's no snake in the world that big. Anyone else would. The weapon should get it out. Now. Starring 80s pop sensations only in your dream, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

Mega python versus gatoroid.

Good evening, America and lands beyond.

We're reporting to you here outside the Zigfield Theater in New York City at the glittering star stunted premiere of Sci Fi's latest epic, Mega Python vs Gatoroids. The crowd is brimming with excitement and all the levels are pulling up. All the stars are out tonight. Yes, they're out in the sky.

It's a beautiful evening. And there's some people arriving in limousines too. Oh, yes, it's Dustin Diamond. Yes, Dustin diamond from TV Saved by the Bell.

Oh, and I see he's sporting a new mustache. Oh, no, he just wiped it off. Ew. Oh. Oh, look, another limo. Well, I'm being told that it's downtown Julie Brown. Who? Is she a vj?

Yes, I'm quite sure she has a vj. Oh, she is a vj. Oh, I. I stand corrected. She was a VJ when they used to show music. Isn't that interesting?

Nostalgia and science fiction all wrapped up into one fabulous evening. How nice they let her out of the home to be here tonight. Now pulling up is Mickey Dolenz from the Monkeys.

Ah, you can feel the disappointment in the crowd. They were apparently expecting Davy Jones. He had to play a junior high dance as a courtesy to the president of his fan club.

And who's this pulling up now? I'm being told it's Riken and Derek from the Logo Hit the A list. Oh, look at them in their overpriced outfits.

I'd hate to be the one to break it to them, but if you're here, darlings, you're not on the A list. And now, here are the stars themselves, Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. The crowd is is going inside for free popcorn. There. Free popcorn. This just in.

There's free popcorn. This reporter is going inside. Mama got the munchies.

First there was a mega shark and Deborah Gibson. Then there were mega piranhas and Tiffany.

Now it's a mega rivalry on steroids. You Gatorade baiting snake living. You don't go down easy, do they?

Tiffany and Deborah Gibson star in and host the original movie Mega Python vs Gatoroy. Premiere Saturday, January 29th at 9. Only on Sci Fi.

Imagine greater

thank you so much live reporter on the street who sounds absolutely nothing like me. Yeah, you heard it right. Bradford and I got to attend the world premiere red carpet event for the Sci Fi original film Mega Perth Perthon.

Mega Python vs Gatoroids. Now, personally, gatoroids sounds to me like a condition. Oh man, I can't go into work today. I got Gatoroids.

I had to pick up some topical cream, maybe one of them suppositories for my gatoroids. I'm going to beat that into the ground because to me it's hilarious and megapython. Well, that's, that's just an obvious innuendo.

But you know, really why need to. Why we need to go to the gutter so quickly? Why, why, why, why, why?

Now I had heard about this naturally from the, from the meetup group folks, and it was a public event. You just had to go over to the Syfy Channel and download your ticket. And I just thought it was a screening, to be perfectly honest.

But then I noticed at the bottom of the ticket it said red carpet begins at 6:30. I thought, okay. And I'm saying it's. No, it's being advertised as a premiere with a red carpet. So I said, okay, well, you know what?

We got a dress to impress now, bitches. And it's at the Ziegfeld Theater.

Now if you're not from New York, which most of you are not, the Ziegfeld Theater is a little taste of how it used to be. You know, like back in the 30s, when you go into the movies, was a night out, it was an event. This place, it's. It's an older theater and it's huge.

It's a mammoth theater. It reminds me of when, you know, back in the day when Radio City Music hall used to be a music. Used to be a movie theater.

It's not that big, but it's got that feel, you know, like a monster plex, you know, that just is a box with seats in it got chandeliers and it's piss elegant is what I'm saying. I'm saying that's awfully big for a screening and it's awfully elegant for a free screening. I've never heard of them doing free screening before.

I could. I could see a red carpet premiere happening there. Huh. So I tell Mr. Brad, we got to get down there early.

And I got down there at about 5:15 here, maybe at 5:30. And not surprisingly, we have to wait online outside.

What I neglected to mention, it's about 3 degrees again, it was one of the coldest nights in New York on record so far this winter. And we're outside standing like idiots in front of this theater, which, by the way, has no red carpet in front of it.

As one of my friends pointed out to me. He's like, you know who said, there's no red carpet? And I said, well, maybe it's ironic. Maybe. Maybe the red carpet's just in Tiffany's panties.

No, he didn't laugh either. He thought it was stupid. Like I said, we're standing out there freezing and we're the only ones there.

It was me, the people from the meetup group, and like 10 other people on this line. I mentioned the Zig Field is massive. I'm going, what happened? Normally, if anything's free, people show up in droves.

And according to the website, all the free tickets were gone. The entire event is booked. All right, maybe the cold is keeping people home. I don't know.

All I know is that Mr. Brad is staring holes into the back of my head. I'm going to kill you when we get home. Holes or worse.

I'm going to be all Southern and say really sweet things about this entire evening for the rest of our lives. Oh, yes. What a wonderful time that was. I have never in my entire experience gone through an evening such as that.

When I first got there, I tried to go into the theater. I saw people mulling about in the lobby and I didn't see anybody outside.

So naturally I'm thinking, okay, I guess I'll go inside and see what's going on. Immediately, one of the gigantic goon of a bouncer is like, what do you want? I'm gonna hear this movie. I have a tick. He's like, are you vip?

No, I'm just a pee. You go outside. You wait outside around the corner. And I go around the corner. There's the line. Okay, so there's a VIP section with goons.

Maybe it is a premiere. Somewhere around 6 o', clock, the doors in the dang alleyway where he had to stand, fling open.

And these, you know, girls come bopping out and like, hey, who's on Team Tiffany? Who's on Debbie? And they start heading out.

And I'm not going to go into it here because she can find out what I'm saying about her and sue her. Sue me or something. And it's just ugly. I don't want to be ugly here. I just want to make you laugh and tell it how it is.

But I was going to pick a team Tiffany until I saw that the button said Team Debbie, not Deborah. I have been staunchly against the my name is Deborah now movement for Ms. Gibson. No, bitch, you're always going to be Debbie to me.

I call you Debbie because I know it irritates you, but lo and behold, these buttons said Debbie. And I'm like, oh, her publicity person is going to be having a shit fit. I'll take 12.

Actually, I wound up taking a bunch of Tiffany's, too, because, hey, I'm a double agent. I go both ways. Ew. Ew. Not like that way. No, no, no. The other. Okay, this got awkward. Anyway, they finally enter the theater. There's nobody in there.

They've got 65, 000 ushers, so clearly they're expecting a crowd. And there's nobody there. And they're like, okay, if you got a pink bracelet, you got to go sit in this other.

You got to sit in this teeny little corner in the back. Okay? This is total segregation. And the fact that you gave us free popcorn and drinks is not really making up for it. Even though I.

Since there's nobody here, I more than took my fill. You know, I'm walking in with. I could have opened up my own silo with the amount of popcorn that I had is what I'm saying.

And everybody's standing around looking really uncomfortable, like, is there nobody here? We have all these people working and there's nobody here. There's supposed to be all these people on the balcony, and there's nobody here.

And I don't know what George, who runs the horror movie meetup group, did he talk to the right people?

And all of a sudden, our group, not the rest of the peons, all the meetup folks, got to move all the way up front, which of course is like a half a mile in this theater. So now we're. We're really nice and close, and it's pretty awesome. And it's awesome, but not enough to get to scream queen of the week. George. Sorry.

Sorry. The movie was supposed to start at 7:30, but, you know, 7:30 comes. 7:30 Goes, and it's not starting, and there's nobody here.

Now, of course, I was entertained because the music playing while we were waiting was alternating back and forth between Tiffany and Debbie's greatest hits. And I'm singing along. I get lost in your eyes and I feel my spirit run. I love her octave jumps and everything.

And I'm doing my Tiffany, I think we're alone dance, which I'll probably have to do a video of and post on the web at some point, but not at the moment we're talking about that. But Mr. Brad was so embarrassed. He's like, would you shut up? Be quiet. There might be real fans here. And you're making my money. I'm having a ball.

This is not ironic. Singing along that I'm doing here. He said, oh, my God, I'm gonna just eat your popcorn. We've got 58 pounds of it.

There's a couple of ad exec types starting to float in. Trickle down, you know, officey looking people. Then somewhere around 8, Mr. Brad's like, I used to work in catering all the time.

And they're probably at a cocktail party on a bus somewhere, and that bus is gonna show up and they're all gonna get here at the exact same time. No sooner did he say that the floodgates open comes the D list. Oh, my God, it was fantastic. Oh, all of a sudden, it's still not full.

The place is still, you know, maybe half full, top. But now you got everybody I just mentioned, you know, Dustin Diamond. You had downtown Julie Brown.

You had her, you had her sister, you had her daughter, who I thought might have been a hooker, the way she was dressed. Because, I mean, God, Mickey Dolan's, the guys from the A list. People that I didn't see. Apparently Taylor Dane was there.

Oh, a bunch of other people were there. Now, of course, Mr. Brad is not as pop. Culturally aware as some of the rest of us, so I'm having to explain who. Who some of these people are.

And he's. Who's Dustin Diamond? I don't know him. I used to be screech on Saved by the Bell. You were, you were. You probably wouldn't have watched.

He said, no, I've never heard of that. And I was explaining how he leaked the sex tape and how, you know, the Dirty Sanchez incident. And he's just like, oh, well.

And as I'm explaining this to him, I'm looking at Dustin Diamond's date for the evening. I know it wasn't her in the video. I'm sure it was some dusty old hooker from somewhere because I haven't seen the video, don't want to see it.

But I still was looking at her like you kissed that mouth. And for that date of Dustin diamond, you are the scream queen of the week, because ew. Ew. If that doesn't take bravery, I don't know what does.

And you know what? You. You cannot have the tiara, because ew. Okay, so now this is when the celebrity sighting gets really good.

Because all of a sudden, I hear muscles through the grit. Ooh, Alan Thicke just arrived. Who? Who? Alan Thicke from Growing Pains.

And my head whipped around, my head was snapping to find Mr. Alan Thicke because. Okay, sit down, kids. It's time for a very quick fireside chat. Back in the day, I had a huge crush on Alan Thicke, you know, before Growing Pains.

Yeah. Because he's a musician and he has pretty eyes and I could see he's got a nice tooth to chest hair sticking out.

And he wrote the theme song, facts of Life and things like that. And. And. And I watched that goddamn show, God damn Growing Pain show for years, hoping. Hoping just once he'd take his goddamn shirt off.

Never happened. Never happened. Never happened. If it did happen and I missed it, please let me know what episode it was in, because I have a destiny to fulfill.

And now Brad finds out that Alan think is there. He's like, oh, where is he? I want to see him. I must see him. He's over there. He's on the aisle. I can't see him. He's right there on the island.

Well, I can't see him. I said, breathe, Bradford. He's like, I'm sorry. I just used to have a crush on him. Ew, you're a skank.

But now it dawns on me, all these celebrities have arrived, and I didn't see no red carpet. I'm like, huh? Where's the red carpet, huh? Well, apparently they had a red carpet. It was in the lobby. It was the shortest red carpet I've ever seen.

They didn't. There was no red carpet outside. It was pretty much just, you know, get your picture taken in front of the sci fi background.

And really there's nowhere for us to see. You know, if you had to stand on the stairs to see it. And I didn't see it, and I didn't care. And I was still convinced there was nobody coming.

But I missed out. It's finally time for the movie to start. They introduce Tiffany and Deborah Gibson. They come. Sorry, Debbie Gibson.

They come waltzing down the aisle and they're talking how they're really friends now and they don't really hate each other. I'M like, don't tell me that. I want to have a bitch fight right here. Throw down, throw down. I want to see weave Poland.

Because, Tiffany, I see you've put on quite a bit of weight again. You will roll Ms. Gibson. You will roll her like a chalupa. But that didn't happen. So why should you see this?

Why is this Sci Fi original movie different than any other Sci Fi original movie? Well, because it has Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in it. Yes. Yes. Each of them recorded a song for the movie soundtrack. Yes.

Both of which are available on itunes. Yes. They have Dynasty style cat fights that go on for five minutes at a time. Yes.

They have slow motion up close panty shots during all these Dynasty style cat fights. Yes. But what I think was different here, there was no pretense of quality for this film. I don't know.

I tried to watch Mega Shark vs Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus by myself and I couldn't get through it. And even in. In seeing it after everybody was making fun of it, I still can't get through it because there's all that science part.

And the science part is so dry. I mean, it's funny to make. It's fun to make fun of them holding up the colors of vile liquid and looking at them while they're doing science.

But it seemed like they were trying to make a good movie. They weren't even attempting to make a good movie here. And they didn't. And then thus. It's brilliant. It's brilliant.

Now, I'm not gonna into the plot too much because you're gonna see it this weekend. Yes. That's why I'm doing this early. Yes. When it premieres on the 29th with Debbie and Tiffany hosting. Yes, you will be watching.

Now, the trouble starts right away because Debbie Gibson is. I don't know what she is. She's some. I don't know if she's an environment.

She's allegedly an environmentalist, but somebody calls her a doctor at one point. I'm like, I don't know what she is. Is she some sort of. If she's still doing science, I don't know. It doesn't matter.

She's breaking in, they're doing environmental crime. They break into some rich dude's private snake collection. Because rich people shouldn't be keeping reptiles as pets. They should be free.

Clearly they didn't watch Night of the Lepus or listen to my review because that never works out well. Her and her team kidnapped the snakes and let them loose into the Everglades.

Now, I don't know what this rich guy was doing to these snakes, who or who this guy was that she stole him from. But once again, environmentalists have doomed the world because I don't know, the. All of a sudden, these snakes are giant. They're 20ft long.

How, I don't know, does it really matter? It's sci fi. They're in a movie on sci fi. Just being on sci fi immediately makes you increase in size to magnitude.

Okay, Tiffany was playing, is playing the sheriff in this Everglades little town here. And she is squeezed into her tiny little police costume.

My girl, she gonna come popping out all over, which is a threat throughout the entire movie because her jugs are in every shot that she's in. There's no facial close ups. It's always got the jugs in it or at least a little bit of cleave of the jugs sticking out.

Notice I'm calling them jugs because these surpass boobs, they surpass titties. These are jugs and I love them. I love you, Tiffany. I applaud you and I applaud your curvy body. Beautiful. Anyway, she's the sheriff of this town.

All of a sudden, people start, there's, there's reports of snake attacks, giant snake attacks. They send out, you know, squads deal with them. The squads don't come back. Well, spoiler alert. Her fiance gets killed. It's not much of a spoiler.

It's 20 minutes into the movie. Now it's personal. Now she's got to take these snakes down. And now Debbie Gibson is showing up and saying, you can't hunt these snakes and pick it in.

Because I'm an environmentalist and I'm wearing a shift dress that looks like a calf tan. I'm a hippie. I gotta say, Debbie Gibson is insane when it comes to these snakes.

She loves the snakes so much, she wants to marry the snakes pretty much. And it makes no sense. They're 20ft long and they're killing people. And she's like, well, you know, that's how it goes. That's nature. Okay?

So in retaliation after, you know, in the, in, in, in. In her distress after her boyfriend is killed, Tiffany does the only thing she could possibly think of to do, the only logical thing to do.

She needs to increase the gator population to fight the snakes in order to do that again, the only logical thing, she feeds them chickens. Injected with with steroids. Not just steroids. Experimental, never tested steroids. What could possibly go wrong? She actually says that.

What could possibly go wrong? Well, you get. You. You get crockeroids or diner. Whatever the hell they're called. Gatoroids.

What's great about the gatoroids is, is that they don't just get. I mean, it's steroids. They should just get really bulky and muscular. No, they become giant and muscular. It's great.

It's just the terrible movie that you want it to be. The effects seem worse than usual. Gloriously worse. Maybe it's because it was projected on a screen. You know, it wasn't on film. It was a projection.

But. But they have this older woman, this old lady who plays her side. I guess she's deputy. I don't know what she is.

She works the desk at the police department. Who's worth watching the movie on her own. She's hilarious in the right way.

She's a wonderful character actress who had us peeing every time she was on screen. Now, things I learned from this movie, and I'm not really spoiling anything here either. Do not let Debbie ever get to a helicopter.

Se the safety ladder before you do. Ever. She'll leave your ass. It happens multiple times in this movie. Like you. You know, from the person. Other person got less behind. Get eaten.

She's like, bye, I'm Debbie Gibson. Could have been so beautiful. Could have been so rotten.

Plus, this movie's got a Martinez in and he's got the Lorenzo Llamas type role, if you don't know who he is. He used to be on General Hospital. He was on it when I used to watch it in college. Shut up. It was something to do during a free period. Shut up.

And we used to make fun of him because he just went by a Martinez. He doesn't have a name. He's just a Martinez. He's not the Martinez. Just a Martinez. And he actually takes this seriously.

He's really good in it, but he's in a completely different movie and somehow that makes it better.

I'm just saying, set your DVRs, get your friends together, get some brews, get a pizza, and laugh your ass off when Megapython vs Gatoroid premieres on Syfy this Saturday. I don't know what time. Check your local listings. God damn it. I'm not the fucking TV Guide.

Now, I do have one last tale to tell before we all move into the voicemails after the movie was over. We're all huddled in our giddy little masses. Now, you have to understand, I had more candy and soda during this movie.

I was buzzing like a hummingbird. That was the same day I recorded the Frozen review.

So, you know, remember how I was then add, like, two more cups of coffee and, like, 16 bags of Skittles, plus the excitement, and I'm like a kindergarten class on crack. I've also had to pee, like, 900 times, so I'm. I decided to hit the men's room one last time before we hit the subway.

And of course, there's a line, you know, the movie just let out, and there's only one bathroom, and I'm hopping on the one leg, hopping on the other leg, doing the pee pee dance. And I finally get in there and get to the urinal, and I'm like, ah.

And in the midst of my ecstasy, I turn my head to the right and realize I'm peeing next to Alan Thicke. And in a weird way, it was some sort of high school boy's dream come true. The men's room at the Ziegfeld Theater, where magic happens.

All of the music for tonight's show, unless otherwise specified, has been written by Sam Haynes. You can find all of his [email protected].