We tend to treat pleasure as something a little embarrassing, indulgent, or separate from serious life. But what if it is one of the quiet organizing principles behind many of our choices, even when we choose restraint or step away entirely? In this episode of Pleasure Principles, host Nazish talks with psychotherapist and author Byron Athene about pleasure, shame, and self-acceptance, openly and with consent and dignity at the centre.

Byron shares how a painful breakup led him to a life changing idea about where our feelings come from, and how that opened a long philosophical journey. Together they explore inherited shame, why restraint and abstinence can be a relationship with pleasure too, and how openness to other people's differences makes room for empathy. If you carry old guilt or confusion about your own choices, this conversation offers a gentle place to start.

About the Guest:

Byron Athene is a counselling psychotherapist, mindset coach, and clinical supervisor based in the UK. He is the author of Find Your Path to Resilience, a book of techniques for building emotional strength. Byron's views in this conversation are his personal perspective and are not medical advice.

Key Takeaways:

• Byron's turning point came from the idea that happiness and unhappiness come from within, which led him to manage his emotions differently after a painful breakup.
• Many of us inherit a narrow, shame-filled story about pleasure. Silence around the subject can make guilt grow.
• Restraint, aversion, and abstinence can be a relationship with pleasure too. Choosing a side shows that it matters.
• Pleasure shows up in ordinary moments: looking at the sky, a tree, a good book, a favourite show.
• Accepting that everyone experiences pleasure differently makes room for empathy. Understanding does not require shared preferences, only openness.
• Byron's one word for anyone carrying shame or confusion: self-acceptance. Start with self-compassion.
• A dignified relationship with pleasure looks like authenticity: being genuine without fear of judgment.

Connect With Byron Athene:

Website: byronathene.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/byron-athene

Book: Find Your Path to Resilience, available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon and Bookshop.org

Services: counselling and psychotherapy, mindset coaching, and clinical supervision

Episode Chapters:

00:00 Pleasure Is Not a Side Dish

00:49 Welcome and Meet Byron Athene

02:34 A Heartbreak That Led to a Big Idea

07:19 Inherited Shame Around Pleasure

09:00 Pleasure Even in Restraint and Abstinence

12:41 Why Byron Calls Us Pleasure Domes

13:50 Where Pleasure Shows Up in Ordinary Life

17:03 Letting Go of Judgment and Making Room for Empathy

19:23 One Word to Hold On To: Self-Acceptance

22:12 Where to Find Byron and His Book

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