Shownotes
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Today, I'm diving into three big lessons I've learned over the past year that have really changed my game. First off, there's a huge gap between knowing something and actually doing it. It's all about putting that knowledge into action. Then, I'm here to tell you that everyone is just winging it in some way, so if you feel lost, you're definitely not alone. Lastly, I've figured out the importance of trimming the fat from my life—saying no to the things that don’t serve me anymore. If you want to influence future episodes or just share what’s on your mind, hit me up at stephenweb.uk. Let's get into it!
Happy New Year, and what better way to start the New Year than to share what I learnt from last year.
The podcast kicks off with Stephen Webb welcoming listeners to the Stillness in the Storms podcast, setting a tone of reflection and personal growth. Stephen expresses gratitude to his friends, Sandra and Mo, for their thoughtful gesture of treating him to coffee, which he links to healing his inner child. He reflects on how small acts of kindness can have a profound impact on our well-being. As he transitions into the core content, he shares that he’s taken some time to organize his thoughts and plans for the new year, emphasizing the importance of this reflection period during the holiday season. This episode explores the idea that as we face difficult times, it’s crucial to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally. Stephen invites listeners to engage with him by suggesting topics they want to hear about, promoting a sense of community and shared experience.
Moving forward, Stephen reveals three key lessons he learned in the past year that have helped him navigate life’s challenges. The first lesson is about the distinction between knowing and doing. He reflects on how many of us know what we should be doing to improve our lives but often fail to act on that knowledge. He shares personal anecdotes about his struggles with meditation and self-discipline, stressing that awareness alone is not enough; we must take action. This leads to a deeper discussion about the importance of consciously choosing to implement what we know in our daily lives.
The second lesson Stephen shares is the realization that everyone is essentially “winging it.” He discusses the common experience of imposter syndrome, highlighting that many people feel insecure about their knowledge and abilities. He emphasizes that it’s okay to not have all the answers and encourages listeners to embrace uncertainty while still striving for personal growth. Lastly, he touches on the importance of simplifying life by deleting unnecessary commitments and focusing on what truly matters. He concludes with a powerful reminder to treat others based on our values rather than their behavior, encouraging kindness and integrity in all interactions. This episode serves as a thoughtful guide for listeners to reflect on their own lives as they embark on a new year.
Takeaways:
- I learned that knowing something and actually doing it are two very different things.
- Everyone struggles with their confidence and is, in a way, just winging it through life.
- It's important to regularly delete unnecessary tasks from our lives to focus on what matters.
- Treat others based on who you are, not based on how they treat you, to stay true to yourself.
- Taking time for self-reflection can help put into practice what we know we should do.
- The importance of reaching out and sharing struggles can help others feel less alone.
Transcripts
Welcome to Stillness in the Storms podcast.
Speaker A:I am your host, Stephen Webb and this is the show that gives you a different perspective on life.
Speaker A:It helps you to get through the most difficult times, it prepares you for the worst and gives you that peace of mind and stillness when you need it most.
Speaker A:So before I start, I want to say a big shout out and a thank you to Sandra and to Mo for treating me to a coffee this week.
Speaker A:That really does make a difference and it's somewhat, in a weird way goes to healing my seven year old self.
Speaker A:The seven year old self that's still trying to fix the whole world and reduce the whole world of suffering because he suffered and he didn't suffer badly, but he suffered in the way that a 7 year old does suffer in perspective to that.
Speaker A:So yeah, thank you very much Sandra and Mo, you're awesome.
Speaker A:And if anybody else wants to treat me to a coffee or download my five Simple Practices for Inner Peace or you would like to sign up to my newsletter, you can go to stephenweb.uk and I will re give that email address at the end of the podcast and I will give you some more information about how you can sign up to my newsletter and how you can download my free book, five Simple Practices for Inner Peace.
Speaker A:And they're not the standard kind of normal ones you would normally go and have.
Speaker A:It's not just just meditation and mindfulness and all that.
Speaker A:It's, you know, they're mine and they're the ones that helped me.
Speaker A:And what's today's show about?
Speaker A:It's, it's a new year and I thought what am I going to do about podcast for New Year?
Speaker A:Then I've got some plan shows coming up and I've started to plan things a little bit more to make things a little bit easier for me.
Speaker A:And I've taken some nice time out over Christmas to really get myself organized a little bit.
Speaker A:And it's, it's been really wonderful.
Speaker A:I've had a wonderful Christmas.
Speaker A:I've had a wonderful quiet new year.
Speaker A:Went down to see the fireworks and everything.
Speaker A:And so I've got some episodes planned over the next few weeks and if you stay tuned to the end of this episode, I will also give you the information because I want you to influence these episodes and how I can help you.
Speaker A:Very often I think about how I'm helped during the most difficult times, but that doesn't always go over to how you need and what advice you need and things like that.
Speaker A:So I want you to email me and tell me what you want, what topics you would like me to cover.
Speaker A:So that would really help me.
Speaker A:It would help you and it would help everybody else, because you're not the only one that needs that topic covered.
Speaker A:You know, don't think you're the only one in the world that has that issue.
Speaker A:Very often we think we might be alone.
Speaker A:And am I the only one that suffers from this?
Speaker A:No, absolutely not.
Speaker A:And in my experience, everybody that's ever come forward with an idea, loads of people was put up their hands and goes, yes, that's me too.
Speaker A:So you'll be really helping other people.
Speaker A:So at the end of the show, I will tell you exactly how you can get a hold of me for that.
Speaker A:So let's get on with today's show.
Speaker A:So today's show really is three things that I've learned over the last year that I'm really putting into practice, and I've really made a difference.
Speaker A:That, yeah, three things that I've really learned for this year.
Speaker A:I don't want to go into too much detail for the moment, and then what's happening with the podcast or what's happening over the next few months.
Speaker A:And then most importantly, the again, like I say, how you can decide the topics for this podcast.
Speaker A:So let's get on with today's show.
Speaker A:So I always say when, like, as if I've got some big musical interlude or something like that.
Speaker A:I really haven't.
Speaker A:But anyway, right, three, three main things or stuff that's really made a difference to my life in the last 12 months and stuff that I'm really now putting into practice.
Speaker A:And the one thing that has really resonated with me at the moment is there's a huge difference between knowing and doing.
Speaker A:Let that sink in for a moment.
Speaker A:Knowing and doing.
Speaker A:And I read a quote years and years ago that said the person that can read and doesn't read has no advantage over the person they cannot read.
Speaker A:And that just sunk in and it really hit me when I read that.
Speaker A:But now I'm starting to really realize it.
Speaker A:I'm 50 years old now, and there's so many ways that I know I should be living my life.
Speaker A:There's so many things I know that would help me, and there's so many things I can do that I know would help others and do different things.
Speaker A:But do I actually do them?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:And am I going to suddenly overnight just suddenly change everything and put into practice every book I know I read?
Speaker A:No, but I'm gonna.
Speaker A:You know, over the last two weeks, I've really started putting into practice some of the things that.
Speaker A:This is why I've taken really time out.
Speaker A:This is why I've been quite quiet on Twitter and Facebook because I've really started to really look at where I'm, where I know different and I'm, you know, I have the knowledge of knowing different.
Speaker A:I'm not actually putting into practice.
Speaker A:You know, I meditate.
Speaker A:I don't meditate as much as I probably should.
Speaker A:And I know we're hard, we're our worst critics.
Speaker A:You know, I'm not meditating in the morning as much as I should.
Speaker A:I sit up and I do a couple of minutes.
Speaker A:I need to do a little bit more.
Speaker A:But I am taking time out a lot during the day and I've always struggled with meditation in the afternoon.
Speaker A:So I'm not about to promise and do that.
Speaker A:And over the last few years, I've always, like, promise I'm going to do all these things.
Speaker A:And I tend to let myself down and let people down, so I'm not going to do that.
Speaker A:So what I've really learned over the last year is really, you know, knowing something and actually doing something with it is a real big difference.
Speaker A:And there's no point in knowing if you're not going to do anything with it.
Speaker A:So actively choose.
Speaker A:Okay, this is something I've learned.
Speaker A:It's fine to know it, but I'm not going to do anything with it and make that choice as an awareness choice.
Speaker A:So I would just do nothing with it and be okay with that.
Speaker A:But don't beat yourself up or choose to do something with it.
Speaker A:Give it a try for a while, things like that.
Speaker A:So that's one of the things I've really learned and I'm really putting into practice now.
Speaker A:And the other thing is everybody is winging it.
Speaker A:You know, this is, this is so important for me and anybody that suffers from imposter syndrome, which is probably everybody, actually, I don't know anybody, when you talk to them, either they don't know what it is and I didn't know what it was until recent years, or they, they suffer from it.
Speaker A:And like, like I said, they don't know what it is or not aware of it, or they are aware of it and they, they do suffer.
Speaker A:Otherwise you're so overconfident that you, you think you've got all the answers.
Speaker A:You think you've got everything and all that.
Speaker A:And that's when you know the, is it the damning Kruger effect or something like that comes in when you, you're Overconfident and you've got this illusion of knowledge that you've got everything and you know everything.
Speaker A:And yeah, we all know these people that speak really, really confidently and there's no hint of kind of, you know, that wavering in their voice or anything like that.
Speaker A:But you know, you just know, well, they got that wrong and they got that wrong.
Speaker A:But they say with such confidence that you even question yourself.
Speaker A:But it's a matter of everybody's winging it, you know, if you're only 80% confident, that's okay.
Speaker A:When I become mayor, I had no idea I was looking around for the Hamburg.
Speaker A:I asked the town clerk, I asked the other staff members and a couple of previous mayors, how do I do it?
Speaker A:Where's the handbook, you know, if this occurs, what do I do?
Speaker A:And they were like, well, there isn't one, you're the mayor now.
Speaker A:I'm like, well, luckily the mayor doesn't have that much power and doesn't have that kind of wielding sword that of decisions that really, you know, it's not that kind of mayorship in Truro, luckily.
Speaker A:So, and anybody knows me knows that I terrible at making decisions.
Speaker A:I, I, I want everybody to be happy and content with every decision.
Speaker A:And I don't know if you're, I don't know if you're ever like me when you've got three people and it's like, what are we going to do for tea tonight?
Speaker A:And I'm like, well, I'm not worried.
Speaker A:You two decide.
Speaker A:And then I'm trying to decide something that everybody is 100 happy with.
Speaker A:That's just not the case.
Speaker A:So like just trying to, again, like I say, we're just working it.
Speaker A:We're trying to do our best with decisions and everything like that.
Speaker A:And I think if you're overly confident and you're absolutely bang on, you think your decision is the only decision and it is the answer, then you're probably not, you're not been 100% true to yourself or true to others and everything else like that.
Speaker A:I think to have some wavering in your confidence levels is not a bad thing.
Speaker A:I think it's okay to admit that you don't know what's going on.
Speaker A:Sometimes I, you know, either that or that's the way I feel when it's okay.
Speaker A:But there is a balance, there is a balance.
Speaker A:You need to balance between the two.
Speaker A:So you can't just say, hey, everybody's winging it.
Speaker A:I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker A:I haven't got A clue and just be okay with that.
Speaker A:That's not okay either.
Speaker A:You know, there is that level of every time you step up your game, every time you take more responsibility, you have to step into it with some degree of knowing what you're doing, but you don't have to know everything of what you're doing.
Speaker A:I think that's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker A:And the other thing I've learned is to delete stuff, to stop doing stuff.
Speaker A:I would say yes to everything, and I just cannot do everything.
Speaker A:And there's people I want to catch up with, there's people that I want to have my cups of tea with, friends around the country that I catch up with regularly and all that, and friends across the pond in America and all that, and I haven't caught up with them, and I miss them.
Speaker A:But it's because I'm saying yes to everything.
Speaker A:So delete stuff.
Speaker A:Get rid of stuff.
Speaker A:This.
Speaker A:What is not important in your life.
Speaker A:Why are you doing what Netflix shows are you watching to avoid doing the other stuff, simply because it's just easier to avoid everything.
Speaker A:So just organize time and delete stuff and just stop doing everything.
Speaker A:Don't say no.
Speaker A:What in your day is using up most of your time that you just really don't care about?
Speaker A:And apart from the first one, I said, this really makes a huge difference, this last one.
Speaker A:And the older I get, the more important this one is that is treat the world the way you are, not the way they are.
Speaker A:And if you take one thing from this podcast, take this one away.
Speaker A:Treat them based on who you are, not who they are.
Speaker A:You know, if they're an.
Speaker A:Don't become an asshole as well.
Speaker A:Be a nice person.
Speaker A:I said this to my daughter.
Speaker A:We were on the way back from St. Augustel one day, and we were sat in the back of the van and she was saying about a couple of her friends and some messages and it was going a bit wrong and things like that.
Speaker A:And she was saying, I just want to have a go at them, Stevie.
Speaker A:They're wrong.
Speaker A:And, you know, I. I'm done with him.
Speaker A:And I said, well, is that who you are?
Speaker A:Well, no, but they're doing my head in and all that.
Speaker A:I said, yeah, but will you feel guilty if you treat them the way they're treating you?
Speaker A:And they weren't treating her really badly.
Speaker A:It wasn't no big, like bullying or anything like that, but it.
Speaker A:It was a simple, quite a large misunderstanding.
Speaker A:And this misunderstanding was growing out of proportion.
Speaker A:I said, well, who are you who are you in your heart?
Speaker A:Treat them the way you are.
Speaker A:And we have this discussion about it.
Speaker A:And the more I think about it, the more I try to show up in the world as who I am.
Speaker A:It's really important for me, for my foundations.
Speaker A:And it means I can live with it.
Speaker A:I can live with the decisions.
Speaker A:I can live with how I treat people more than how they treat me.
Speaker A:And whether that always goes down well, I don't know whether that, you know, sometimes it doesn't land well.
Speaker A:Sometimes people mishear, sometimes people.
Speaker A:You're not responsible for what people hear.
Speaker A:You're only responsible for what you say.
Speaker A:Sometimes it goes totally wrong.
Speaker A:But as long as you can stay true to yourself and you.
Speaker A:Do you know what that was?
Speaker A:Who I am.
Speaker A:I'm showing up who I am.
Speaker A:I say it from the heart of who I am.
Speaker A:I think you can sleep at night, you can put your head down the pillow, and you can rest assured knowing that you did your best.
Speaker A:And very often, people below their anger, below their frustrations and all that, are deep, caring people as well.
Speaker A:I've never met an angry person that doesn't care deeply.
Speaker A:And Jim Poe, one of my teachers, one of the greatest teachers I would say ever, gave me more freedom from my thoughts, gave me more freedom from my.
Speaker A:My procrastinations, my.
Speaker A:My angst and everything than any other teacher I know.
Speaker A:Sadly passed away last year.
Speaker A:And I'm rereading his book Heart of Zen right now and just come back to it.
Speaker A:I just love it.
Speaker A:It's just.
Speaker A:It's one of those under.
Speaker A:It's one of those books that should be so well known, and it just isn't, and I just wish it was.
Speaker A:If you want to look it up, it's junpo, Jun P O.
Speaker A:It's called Heart of Zen.
Speaker A:And it's a dialogue between him and another guy talking about enlightenment, talking about today's modern world and how we get there and how we reduce our suffering and all that.
Speaker A:And it's just a phenomenal book, so I had to buy one down off Amazon because I don't know who I gave mine to.
Speaker A:So, yeah, they're the three things.
Speaker A:Just to recap, there's a huge difference between knowing and doing, you know.
Speaker A:You know, you should be eating healthily, but unless you do it, what's the point of even knowing, you know?
Speaker A:Secondly, everybody's winging it, you know, to some degree.
Speaker A:Find that balance between winging and having some confidence and not too much confidence and be okay with not knowing the whole part of the next step, it's like you're sat nav.
Speaker A:You're okay with the next two directions.
Speaker A:You have confidence in the sat nav.
Speaker A:For the rest of it, have confidence in yourself that when you get there, you'll, you'll know what to do.
Speaker A:You don't have to have everything.
Speaker A:Delete stuff.
Speaker A:Get rid of stuff in your life.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:What are you doing that's wasting time.
Speaker A:What are you doing that's making you procrastinate?
Speaker A:That's an overused word.
Speaker A:It's an overused excuse to not do things.
Speaker A:And I'm a procrastinator.
Speaker A:You know, you just know what you should be doing.
Speaker A:You're not doing it.
Speaker A:That's me.
Speaker A:You know, if you're watching me on YouTube, I'm holding my hand up now.
Speaker A:It's like me.
Speaker A:So the other thing is treat the world the way you are, not who they are in every interaction.
Speaker A:Show up as you.
Speaker A:And I think that's just so incredibly important.
Speaker A:So at the beginning of the podcast, I, I said to you that I was going to tell you how you can influence the shows.
Speaker A:I've got a couple of shows planned out over the next couple of weeks, but apart from that, I want to know why you suffering with?
Speaker A:What are you struggling with?
Speaker A:Or what would you like me to cover?
Speaker A:So you can go to stephenweb.uk and contact me.
Speaker A:Just click on the contact me.
Speaker A:There's no hierarchy, there's no if you buy me a coffee that you'll get on the show or anything like that, or there's none of that.
Speaker A:It's just if you buy me a coffee, if you treat me a effectively, it helps me to pay for everything and things like that and it helps for the hosting of the show, things like that, which costs money, but it's just also, it's like a warm hug inside.
Speaker A:So I really appreciate that.
Speaker A:But anybody you know can email me with an idea for the show or even if you haven't got an idea for the show, email me with something you're struggling with.
Speaker A:You can stay anonymous.
Speaker A:I do have another podcast.
Speaker A:It's called Inner Peace Meditations, which literally are meditations to give you some more inner peace.
Speaker A:I will link that below this show and there's a link to it again on stephenweb.uk my mayorship comes to an end in May.
Speaker A:I've done my two years and it's been the most amazing privilege and wonderful two years.
Speaker A:I'm really cracking on with my book now.
Speaker A:The gift of no choice that will be out this year.
Speaker A:You'll find out more about that over the next coming weeks because I'm going to really step up the accountability.
Speaker A:I've been talking about this book.
Speaker A:I've been writing chapters and I've been throwing stuff together for years.
Speaker A:Anybody that knows me, I've been writing this book probably 10 years and I just need to let it do it.
Speaker A:I can't wait to get this book out.
Speaker A:It really is, you know, I want to share my story and I also want to share what I've learned and how I've overcome things and like that.
Speaker A:It's what people keep asking me for.
Speaker A:So it's the gift of no choice.
Speaker A:And it will be out this year and I'm really stepping up.
Speaker A:But you'll be able to pre order it, you'll be able to support me, you'll be able to help me with the cost of editing and publishing and all that very soon.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And finally you can contact me.
Speaker A:And if you leave a review for these podcasts, that makes a huge difference.
Speaker A:But not only don't just leave a review, if you like the podcast, leave a review if you got some criticism.
Speaker A:If it's something I don't do very well, I'll tell you one thing I don't do very well.
Speaker A:I'm not very.
Speaker A:What's the word?
Speaker A:I'm not very consistent.
Speaker A:In actual fact, not very consistent.
Speaker A:I am bloody terrible at uploading every week.
Speaker A:So, you know, nag me, email me, I shouldn't need it.
Speaker A:But the newsletter as well, I'm.
Speaker A:I send out my newsletter not very consistently, but I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna have anything deep and found in my newsletter.
Speaker A:I'm basically gonna tell you what I'm up to, what I'm reading, what I'm watching and what my shows and links to my shows, things like that.
Speaker A:So if you want to be part of that, just little bits of more inner peace, things like that.
Speaker A:And you want to know about the inner circle, things like that and what's going on.
Speaker A:Sign up to the newsletter.
Speaker A:You can do all of that from stephenweb.uk so but thank you for listening.
Speaker A:Happy New Year.
Speaker A: It's the start of: Speaker A:You know, I do release a show every week.
Speaker A:Let's start as we mean to carry on and you can keep up to date for everything like I say from that website, StephenWeb.uk I love you guys.
Speaker A:Thank you and take care.
Speaker A:Bye, Sa.
