Have you ever brought your dream hair photo to your stylist and left the salon wondering why it didn’t turn out quite right? In this solo episode, Sarah shares candid insights from behind the chair on why clients often struggle to get the exact results they envision, and what both clients and stylists can do to bridge that gap.

Drawing on her decades of experience in the salon, Sarah offers real talk on communication breakdowns, hidden factors in hair photos, and the limitations of terminal growth (yes, that’s a thing). She also shares actionable tips for finding the right stylist and how to feel more confident in your consultations.

Whether you are frustrated with past salon visits or searching for your next hair bestie, this episode is packed with advice that will help you feel seen, understood, and equipped for your next appointment.

Well, hello and welcome to the lessons from your hairstylist podcast. I'm your host and hairstylist friend, Sarah Cruz.

Today I just wanted to come on and talk to you like one on one. I mean, this podcast is called Lessons From Your Hairstylist and I kind of want to incorporate in some education from a hairstylist standpoint And there are some things that I come across every day that I see in the salon that I could see could be some frustrations for clients who come into the salon.

People who go to get their hair done sometimes struggle with getting the result that they're looking for. And I've seen this so much over the years that I kind of wanted to come on and talk about it. I do a lot of teaching behind the chair.

I do a lot of just informing and educating and advising and it's a very casual type of relationship with my clients. It's just back and forth questions and answers and that's one of the things I'm trying to work out on this podcast as to like, how do I just talk to myself? It's kind of weird. I feel like most of the time I've got a person sitting in front of me and they're engaging and they're giving me feedback, they're asking me questions and then I can take off and

and answer this stuff. But what I realized was that while having guests and experts on having to do with health and wellness and all the various different types of things that we can do to transform our lives every day, I think a lot of the real value comes from my own expertise in hair and helping people to have the best hair that they possibly can. So I want to do a little bit more of that.

educational type of content going forward and I am still obviously gonna have guests because I love the guest part of it and I think they offer so much value and of course talk about things that I have no idea about so I'm learning right along with you which is also what this is all about.

But for me, sometimes I just want to talk to you. So what we're going to talk about today is the challenge of the client not being able to truly get the experience or the result that they're looking for from their hairstylist. And I think that hairstylists

do their best to help the client to address their issues, they do their best to do a good job, but sometimes

we come from this perspective

personal to us,

we are coming from a place of we wanna do a good job on this haircut, we wanna do a good job on this color, we want this color to turn out, we want this.

haircut to turn out. But sometimes I think what happens is we miss the boat in taking the entire big picture into consideration. So in other words, if a client is looking for a certain result, they're looking for something that is going to enhance their appearance. And sometimes they have

always had trouble achieving a certain result and they're looking for that one stylist who's truly going to be able to knock that out of the park and it is so hard to find. That is the purpose of this podcast episode today to hopefully if you are out there looking or you've been struggling to find a hairstylist who truly is able to knock it out of the park for you, I wanna help hopefully get you a little bit closer to that.

So what I wanna talk to you about is just some of the main things that I see where hairstylists sometimes can miss the boat and also where clients from their end can take measures to make sure that they are getting the results that they're looking for. Because a lot of times we don't know as clients, if I go to the doctor or I go to therapists or I go somewhere, I don't really know what to ask for.

I just know kind of what's in my head and then I'm relying on the professional to be able to pull that out. And that's really the job of the hairdresser.

it's kind of hard to find sometimes. And I think many times that just comes from a lot of experience. So we're gonna go into all that. The first one I wanna talk about is when you show your hairstylist a picture and

they maybe they get close or at the end of it you feel like yeah, it's okay, but it's not exactly like the picture that it doesn't look that way on me and I'm not gonna go to that place of saying like yeah, because the person in the photo looks different than you do or their hair is different or there's a filter like we all know that that's not that's just common knowledge, but what I would

go further to say is that there are also some other things at play and many times this has to do with yes the limitations or the different aspects that the client might have or characteristics that the client's hair might have that the model doesn't have yes that but also things like positioning of the person in the picture

So that picture could have been taken 12, 20, 30 times, different angles, until they found the exact right angle. Also, the lighting could be different. If you just moved or angled your camera a tiny bit, like an inch to the left, an inch to the right, that color could show up 10 times brighter than it could like if you stepped back for a foot or you...

when at a slightly different angle, it might be a little bit more yellow, more brassy if you're a blonde, or it might not show up as vibrant if you're a redhead, as rich if you're a brunette. The cut may not look exactly the way that you envisioned it if they would have used one of the photos that didn't photograph as well. So a lot of times it's head positioning of the person in the picture. The other part of it

that is very common that I see that a lot of hairdressers don't realize is not only is the hair type, the hair texture, the amount of hair that their client will have, not only could that be different than the person in the picture, but also the person in the picture might have a longer terminal growth.

in their hair. What terminal growth is, is the length that your hair will actually get to before it replaces itself. So it's a common misconception that if you just take care of your hair and you condition it and you don't put too much heat on it and you use the right products, it will grow out long. But the thing is is that most people don't realize it and many hairdressers don't realize the fact that

No, not everybody's hair will grow long. If you are someone who has experienced having your hair grow to a certain length and then it just looks kind of fine or fuzzy or it doesn't have that nice sharp edge at the ends or it doesn't look clean at the ends anymore once it gets to a certain point, it's likely due to the fact that you have a shorter terminal length than somebody else. And what that means is it's just baked into your DNA.

And I know that is disappointing. It's disappointing for me too

Because I am limited to having bangs. My bangs have not grown out since I was probably 16 years old, maybe earlier. The hair that is in the front of my head and on the top does not grow long. So I have had comments online about why are you like, why would you layer your hair? You should let it grow. Or I have had people say, well, you have layers.

I don't have layers, it's just that nature gave me layers. I've never, I don't cut my hair, I don't cut the top. Many times I wear extensions, like right now I do have some tape-in extensions in if you're watching this on YouTube, but my hair only grows to a certain length before I just have to cut it. So if you're someone who has seen your hair grow to a certain length and then it just doesn't look as clean or as nice on the ends as someone else and you're thinking I'm doing everything I could possibly do,

It's likely got something to do with what's going on in your DNA. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not your stylist and anything that they're doing wrong, and it's not anything that you're doing wrong. It's just that now that you know that about your hair,

It's something that you can take as information and go forward with the options that are available to you. And then a good stylist can also help you with what those options would be to help you get as close as possible. Maybe it is using extensions to fill in so that you can get that long layered look with really long hair, but your ends are not looking spindly on the ends.

You know, maybe you've showed your stylist this long haircut and there's all of these really short interior layers and it looks like it's got all this movement, but then when she cuts it, it looks like you've got a mullet because the front of your hair is shorter than the back or it looks like your layers are cut in shelves. Nothing is blending. It looks nothing like the picture and you're pissed because you're like, why did they do that?

I didn't show them that picture. That's not what I showed them. Probably somebody in the picture actually had extensions because you gotta think, and if you're watching this on YouTube, again, this will help you, this visual. You think in the back from your ears down, you've got hair in the back of your head. But on the sides, your hair stops growing here above your ears. So you don't have the benefit of the hair from the top of your ears.

down to where your hairline would be in the back, the front of your hair. So that would be your length. That would be the part, if you were gonna have really short layers, that would be your length part. And that would be the part that would create that look to make your layers look like they're so full and you have so much movement, but yet you still have all of your length in the front.

That's the part that would need to still be there in order for you to not look like you have a mullet.

Sometimes people have extensions in their hair to fill in that fullness along the perimeter at the bottom and still they're able to have that super layered look with a really solid perimeter line and that's what's happening in a lot of these long.

layered cut. So if you've ever been disappointed by a long layered cut, that could be what's going on there. Again, many times if the stylist isn't experienced, there's certain things that they just have not learned yet. And this could be one of the lessons. They'll understand that if you cut all of the layers really short, the hair will naturally be shorter in the front. But

They sometimes don't always connect the dots as to what do you need to do in order to get your hair to actually look like that. Maybe you would need extensions. Again, this goes back to positioning nine times out of 10, whoever is taking this picture of this super long layered haircut with these really nice full ends across the bottom and all these layers at the top,

There's a trick to that. They are splitting the hair down the middle in the back, they're pushing it all forward, and sometimes they're even clipping the hair forward so that it looks really full in the front. But you can't see what's going on in the back because what's going on in the back is they've got it slicked forward with clips so that this looks nice and full in the front. So that is something that a lot of people don't realize, a lot of stylists don't even think about that.

They don't think about the production that has gone into actually

photo.

if you're a stylist who truly knows how to take a great photo of your clients, then these could be some of the tricks that you sort of figured out over time, but when you're getting something off of Pinterest, you're getting something off of...

Instagram or you're seeing it online, you don't know what's going on with the other side of that. Same as when somebody brings in a picture of an updo or a braid, you know, and it's super full and beautiful, either in the back or on the side. You have no idea what the front looks like. The front can look like ass and you wouldn't know, but the back is beautiful because they took a picture. But then when you ask this client, well, what do you want the front to look like? Well, they don't really know.

They just want it to be as beautiful as what's going on in the back where they've used every bit of the hair and maybe some extensions too to create this look. So there's a lot of tips and tricks that go into creating photos that people are picking offline to show their hairdressers. So that's one thing that I just want to put out there that a picture is not just a picture. So we're not just talking about filters. We're not just talking about the fact that

her hair's thick and yours isn't, so it's on you, the client. It isn't on you, the client. Half the time, the hairstylist doesn't even realize everything that's gone in to creating that inspiration photo. Yeah, you already know. Yeah, a lot of times there is a filter or it's brightened and something has been done to make it look better, but there is a whole other world of tips and

and little things that people can do to make the inspiration photo look.

Amazing and then you're not gonna walk around in real life Of course with two clips in the back of your head pushing your hair forward You're not gonna walk around in real life with the front of your hair looking bad and then the back just looking good Nobody sees the 360 so that's one of the things to understand that if you're seeing something it may not be exactly as it appears and the stylist don't always know that either

That's one of the things that I see that's going on as far as why people can't seem to get the exact result that they're showing their hairdresser. This comes with education. The other issue is the hairstylist really needs to provide the big picture and all of the puzzle pieces to the client to let them know everything that is involved in a look that they may be wanting, in the picture that they may be showing.

There's so much that we know and we learn over time, especially those of us that are experienced and have been in it for decades. We know certain things and have learned certain things over the years that even many other hairstylists don't know. So it's important to find someone who has a lot of experience whose photos and portfolio looks like something that you would like online.

you're looking at their account, maybe on Instagram, their profile, and you're seeing all these different pictures, it's important for you to get a sense of what they're posting and if those people seem to align with what you're looking for. So that's very important too, is to do the research ahead of time. The consultation is also very, very important. Again, going back to the hairstylist,

really filling you in on all of these little things that you didn't even know you didn't know and you didn't even know to ask.

Another thing that happens a lot is many stylists are very, very detail oriented.

Many of us are just very zoomed in on the technical part of what it is that we're doing. So we're looking to make sure that those lines are blended in the haircut, that those ribbons flow naturally and look like they're the right tone in the hair color. They're looking to see if they have gotten really close to.

the inspiration photo, for example. And what sometimes can be missing is zooming out, looking at the big picture, looking at the client in the mirror and saying, does this look good on this person? Yeah, the color might be what they asked for. You might've replicated it to a T. You might've cut that hair exactly like they asked you, but then when you look at that on the person,

It doesn't look as good as it should, but we get sometimes so zoomed in on, wow, I really nailed that. I've got this really sharp angle on this haircut, on this French bob, it looks amazing, look how great I did, everything is so straight, it's so precise, but

Maybe it's done nothing for their features. Maybe she looks like she's about to ask for the manager. Is that the feeling that that client wants? If they asked you for that, you've been doing this over and over and that's the look they're going for, that's great. But I do think it's our responsibility as hairstylists to be like, this cut is really nice, this looks great.

I feel like for you, you might not like it on you because of A, B, and C. Here's some things you have going on, and we could go back again to you don't have a strong enough perimeter. Your bangs don't grow out enough to give you that angle and to support that shape. Many times, the client and also the stylist will want to compromise and be like, well, I want to do this, but I do have some bangs, so let's just do this and then have bangs.

The thing about that haircut you're showing that really makes that look good is that it is sharp, it is all one length, and those bangs are all the way grown out, and it's supporting that shape, coming down really long, because that elongation of the bangs sometimes is the thing that truly makes that bob look sexy. You put bangs on that or a side swept fringe, and then you cut that angle sometimes, that is not the vibe.

That's not the vibe you're looking for and it looks totally different. You can't take a cut and then decide you're gonna modify it and expect it to still have that same effect as that cut that you're showing. So that's the other part of it is modifying something that you're showing can take all of the impact out of what it is that you're trying to do. And sometimes the stylist don't realize it either.

especially if they don't have the experience, once again. And it could be that you may never be able to support that cut. I could never support a French bob because my hair would never get long enough in the front in order to grow to support that shape. It's never gonna happen. My hair is always gonna look layered. And there's a lot of women out there whose hair will not reach the length in order to get some of these shapes that people are looking for. So a shorter haircut,

can be really sexy, can be really nice, can look really amazing, but it can also go really wrong when you decide to start modifying it because, my hair just doesn't grow very long, or it's too flat, I don't have enough, there's not enough density, there's not, it's not that, even the color, if many times people will come in and show a haircut of someone who has a completely different color, could be platinum blonde.

but you know, this is a brunette who's showing. You take a bob, a French bob, or you take a really striking haircut on a platinum blonde, and then you put it on someone who's a beautiful brunette, it many times doesn't have the same effect,

that's something that you wanna be aware of not modifying an inspiration picture because what happens so often is it kills the result. So that's the other thing that sometimes stylists are not getting that across clearly enough and clients don't realize it themselves thinking that I love this but I'm gonna modify it. If you love this and you wanna modify it,

you might wanna rethink it and go for something different.

Another thing too that I see is that the stylist doesn't ask the right questions many times. Again, I feel like this goes back to experience, but it also has to do with the stylist themselves and their natural ability to connect with the client for them to truly be in an authentic place with the client instead of feeling like they're on. Many times I think we as hairstylists can feel like we're performing.

We we want the client to look at us in a certain light. We want to look like the professional we want to appear as If we got this we got this. yeah. Yeah sure and that's exactly what happens many times I see it many times with style and hate to keep saying inexperienced but experience is so important I see in a consultation where a client will be explaining something to A stylist and the style is like yeah. yeah

Uh-huh, uh-huh. yeah, no problem. Yeah, no problem. Well, you have to dig deep sometimes to truly understand what the client is asking. You have to dig in there to get underneath what it is that they're trying to say because many times, again, as we talked about it at the top of the episode, I could go to my therapist, I could go to my doctor, not knowing the questions I need to ask, but having in my head,

the feeling I wanna have, the look that I want to replicate. And if the stylist is like, yeah, sure, sure, yeah, okay, yeah, we can do that, we can do that, is frustrating for me to hear sometimes because I wanna say to the stylist, I want you to stop and just slow down for a second. Hear what this person is saying and put yourself in their shoes. And what would you be thinking?

if you were this person, this client, what would you want? How would you want to feel? And start to explore that. so many times, it can be awkward to have a conversation with somebody that we don't really know. I think it's a skill and a muscle that we have to strengthen over time as stylists. We have to get really good at making the connection with the client.

And really getting in there, in that personal space with them, to try to dig into what it is that's going on in their mind in order to be able to give them the result that they're looking for. It's a little bit of psychology sometimes, but it's also an authenticity and a slowing down and a calmness of truly being in that moment with the client and listening for understanding instead of listening for responding.

So I like to ask a lot of follow-up questions. A client might be saying, I don't really like such and such, this seems to be flat. I could say, when you say flat, what do you mean? And flat could mean something different for two different people. Their hair feeling flat could mean that they feel like it's too straight. Other people might say, my hair looks flat.

and mean that there's no volume on the top. But they might have too much volume on the sides. And so they might be saying, you know, my haircut is looking very square and very wide when they're looking for elongation in the shape. And what they're saying is my hair looks flat. But what they could truly mean is that my hair looks very wide. And

what they're seeing is a shape that was given to them by someone who may or may not have had the skill to create a more elongated shape. Once again, maybe a stylist has gone in and nailed the technique itself

They may have gotten a very straight line. They may have gotten a very precise haircut. But when you look at the client, it doesn't do anything for them and they're seeing this. But many times they don't know what's wrong. They just know that it ain't right. And it's up to us once again to be able to get in there and find out exactly what's going on.

So the stylist doesn't ask the right questions sometimes. I think many times if you just go in and you keep looking for more information and looking for more information, what about this is not working for you? What about this right here doesn't work? What about this don't you like? What about this do you wish was different? And when you say this, what do you mean by that? I think those are really great questions to be asking a client. And if you are looking for a hairstylist, it's

something for you to take note of, like how thorough are their questions? Do they seem to be listening for understanding or are they listening to respond and are they agreeing, agreeing, agreeing and saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sometimes an inexperienced stylist will give you some direction, but many times they're...

not asking as many questions as they should in order to really nail down what it is that the client is looking for. So asking really good questions and feeling like the stylist is truly getting in there and getting to the heart of what it is that you're trying to explain to them because it isn't for you as the client to know exactly what to say, to know exactly what to ask for.

It is our responsibility to develop those communication skills and that knowledge as to how to pull it out of you, what it is that you're looking for. So I would say really pay attention to whether or not you're feeling like you're truly heard in the consultation. That will make a huge difference.

So those are just a few things that I was thinking about when I decided to pop on here and do this episode. This is kind of a short episode, but I wanted to tell you about those things so that hopefully maybe if you're looking for a stylist going forward, they might help you in that pursuit of finding the right stylist. Couple things I wanna leave you with is if you're looking for a new stylist, one thing I would do is really make sure that they've got

a good online presence. They've got a good website and

do a little bit of research first and maybe even have a Zoom consultation or at least a phone consultation first to decide if you feel like you're a right fit and to see if the energy with this stylist aligns with what you're thinking and what you're looking for before you ever go into the salon. That's a good idea sometimes. If you do go into the salon and you're seeing a new stylist,

Sometimes it's good to get a blowout first. You can have that face-to-face interaction first. No harm, no foul if you don't like the way they blow your hair out because there's not a cut involved, there's not a color involved. So a blowout is a blowout. It's not gonna hurt anything. It's a good way for you to gauge whether or not you think you might be a good fit personality-wise, vibe-wise, whether this person is truly trying to get to know you.

What does the setting feel like? Does this seem like this is a good fit? When you're talking to them, does this seem like they understand you? Just go get a blowout. That's a great way to start to gauge and see if you feel safe going in for a cut the next time. You might even talk about a future cut or talk about a future color. See what kind of questions they ask you.

And it's always good to ask friends for recommendations. If you have a friend who has a style that you like, or they have really hyped up their stylist because of this or that, or they're great with this, or they're great with that, always take that into consideration. Ask around, see what some of your friends are saying. Recommendations are always a great way and a great place to start.

So that's just a little episode today to hopefully help you and equip you. If you're tired of your current stylist or you're in a new town and you're looking for a new stylist, just want to try something different. Hopefully these tips have helped you. I hope that you have the most amazing day and I will talk to you soon.