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In this episode of "A Changed Mind", our host, David Bayer, shares a transformative insight from his spiritual journey in India. David explores the concept that all suffering stems from our own thinking, particularly our resistance to the present moment. David explains how accepting reality, even when unpleasant, can lead to profound life changes.
David offers a simple yet powerful practice: acknowledging and accepting what is, rather than arguing with reality. This shift in perspective, David argues, creates space for solutions and aligns one's life with their desires.
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Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality
Download the Audiobook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCKF721M
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What We Explored This Episode
5:07 All suffering stems from resisting the present
10:13 How resistance perpetuates unwanted situations
15:20 Accepting reality: A simple yet powerful practice
Memorable Quotes
"All suffering is a result of your own thinking. Not some, but all. That means no suffering is a result of anything else."
"If you are willing to be with what is, even if you don't like it, what is will transform into what you want."
"Your focus is a honing of your soul, of energy into a perspective. Where focus goes, energy flows and everything is energy."
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Transcripts
If you've been feeling stressed, overwhelmed, feeling like there's not enough time, or if you've been struggling with money or your health or relationships, I'm going to show you in this episode that by shifting just one thing, you can literally unlock an entirely new life. Not in decades or years or even months, but literally within minutes. I'm David Barron. I've spent the last decade studying neuroscience, spirituality, behavioral psychology, and human evolution. I went from broke and feeling broken to building a $40 million business, a podcast with over a million listeners a month, and a business and life I love. Ten years ago, I went on a journey of personal growth, exploring everything from mindset to breath work to psychedelic assisted therapy, brain retraining, meditation, you name it. But there was one thing that I learned while studying in an ashram in India that took everything I had been learning in personal growth and distilled it down to one simple principle and one simple daily practice. And in this episode, I'm going to share both of those with you. And by the time we're done, you're going to understand exactly why life feels so hard. And you'll have a practice that you can start today to begin shifting things. And not just shift things a little bit. I'm talking about a quantum leap in your reality. So let's get into it. Welcome to A Changed Mind, a journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth and relationships to open an honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and in the world. If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity and doom and gloom should so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside. You're in the right place. Welcome to A Changed Mind, guys. A little over 10 years ago, I dragged my wife to India. I was in so much pain and suffering. I had done all the personal growth events, the Tony Robbins events, the Brendan Burchard events, the landmark series. I had read all the books, Wayne Dyer, Napoleon Hill, Neville Goddard. But I still felt stuck. And so a friend of mine had this major breakthrough at this place in India. And so my wife and I decided to go. We spent an entire month learning, doing exercises, breath work, very specific meditations and about three weeks into this experience, one of the monks said something and it was like a switch was flipped in my brain. And even when he said it, I was like, yeah, I already know this and I understand this, but because all the work that I had done up until that point, because of the setup of this Ostram experience, he said it and I heard it totally differently. And this is what he said. He said, david, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. I know that my limiting beliefs, my traumas, my stories, they are what are creating my stress, my anxiety, my overwhelm. I know that. But he said it again, and this time I noticed one small three letter word that changed the game for me. He said, david, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. All. Not some, but all. And I thought about it for a moment. I was like, wait a minute. If all suffering is a result of my own thinking, that means that no suffering is a result of anything else. Like, I figured a lot of my suffering was from my own thinking, but some suffering was from, say, my wife arguing with me, or my employees not doing something, or the amount of money I had in my bank account, a marketing campaign not going well. But he said, all suffering was a result of my own thinking. And so I looked at that and I was like, oh my God, he's right. It's not your health that is a problem. Even though you may be experiencing some pain or a chronic health condition. It's the thought that your health won't ever get better. It is not the amount of money that is causing you suffering. No matter how much money you do or do not have in your bank account, it is the belief that you don't have enough or that you'll never have enough. It's not that my wife said something that I don't like that was causing my suffering. It seems like it. Well, if she just hadn't said that, I wouldn't be in suffering. It's actually the belief that she shouldn't have said it that is making me upset. I want you guys to check in with me on this for a second. All suffering is a result of our own thinking. And so I took this distinction with me and did my best to really take full, radical responsibility of my life and my emotions. Even when I couldn't see it, I had this distinction in my back pocket. Hold on a minute. What's really causing me to be upset right now is me. It's not the thing out there. It's the meaning that I'm giving that thing out there, that anytime I'm feeling a certain way, it's not because of the thing I think is causing me stress or anger or worry. It's my thinking, you tracking with me. So we're going to take it one step deeper. If you look at all of your suffering, all of your suffering, the stress, the anxiety, the overwhelm, the anger, the not feeling like you're good enough, the depression, the anxiety, all of your suffering is a resistance to what is in the present moment. All of your suffering is a resistance to whatever is happening in your life right now. It is a denial of your current situation. Look again, we said before that I'm angry because I'm in denial that she is saying this to me. She shouldn't be saying this to me. Okay? I'm angry because I'm in denial that my wife is saying this to me. I think she shouldn't be saying this to me. I'm worried because I'm in denial with the amount of money in my bank account that there should be more. I'm in denial. I'm in confrontation and denial with this present moment. How I feel, what someone did or didn't do, what some political party is doing. I'm in denial with what is. I think that life should be showing up differently than the way life is showing up for me right now. So all of your suffering is not just caused by what you think or believe. It is also your conflict with what is actually happening in the present moment. You believe that this should not be this way, it should be different. And I have to get from where I am right now, this present moment, where there is something that I am in denial of this situation that should not be over here to over there into a different situation. And I want you to realize that this is very dynamic. Wanting what is to be different than what it is and how often it plays out all day long for you. In other words, it's the same denial, just a different circumstance every single time. Might be 100 different examples. This person shouldn't be taking so long to order at Starbucks. I'm going to be late. They should be faster and time should be different than it is, but it's the same play that your mind is running over and over and over every single time. One of the great modern mystics, Eckhart Tolle, wrote a best selling book that maybe you've read changed my life called the Power of Now. He says in it that the great tragedy of human existence is that all that exists is the present moment. And as humans, we fill the present moment with the desire to be somewhere else other than where we are. And so, in that we miss our entire lives, we are always wanting to be somewhere other than where we are right now. Think about it. Just notice how your mind works. There is no past. We can just remember what we perceive as the past. But when do we remember it? Right now, in the present moment. There is no future. We can imagine what the future might be. But when are we experiencing the future? Right now, in the present moment. The past and the future only exist in the present moment. All there is is the present moment. But we spend most of our present moment, which is the only moment that exists, indulging in the past or wanting to be somewhere else in the future. Because we're in denial of what's happening right here, right now. This, my friend, is the great crisis of human existence. Now, the good news is, is that once you realize that you're living in this mind game, the game now becomes living in the present moment and knowing that the only thing that is preventing you from the present moment are your thoughts about what should be happening right now that isn't happening right now, and redirecting yourself to being with whatever is happening right now and accepting it, being present to what is now. Here's the tricky part. What if you don't like what is? What if you don't like the pain you're experiencing from your health condition? What if you don't like the amount of money that is in your bank account right now? What if you don't like what someone said to you? What if you don't like the career that you have? What if there's something that you don't like? So I'm going to let you in on a little bit of a secret. If you are willing to be with what is, even if you don't like it, what is will transform into what you want. I'm going to say that one more time. If you are willing to be with what is, even if you don't like what is, what is will transform into what you want. I'm going to unpack this for a second. But it's also important to understand that if you are in denial of what is, meaning wishing something other than what is, what you will continue to get is more of what you don't want. And this may not make sense at first, but when you understand physics and you understand metaphysics and behavioral psychology and neuroscience on every level, this makes perfect sense. Because your brain is a goal achieving machine. And whatever you resist will persist. You've probably heard this before. I'm going to unpack it for you in a really clear way that you can understand. So if you don't like what's going on in the present moment and you resist it through your thoughts and your emotions, you think it shouldn't be happening or that it should be something different than what it is, it persists, it continues on. So you're afraid of not having enough money. Enough money stays from present moment to next present moment to next present moment. Before you know it, there's that future of not having enough money. It just stayed the same way. You're irritated that your boyfriend keeps doing the same stupid things over and over. Guess what's going to happen? Boyfriend keeps doing the same stupid things over and over. You think that the government or this political party or those people shouldn't be doing what they're doing or should be doing something different. Guess what? They keep doing the same thing. Whatever you stand against, you are actually standing up. And it'll maintain itself. When you are in denial of the present moment, what happens is you focus your energy and your attention on the problem. And this feeds the problem and it maintains the problem. And that's why nothing changes. See, it's the present problem becomes your future problem. Because all you have is the present moment. So the more you resist it, the more you say, in this moment, I don't accept it, I don't want this. Then this persists in your present moment. And those present moments stack up into what feels like a future and you've got the problem forever and nothing changes. It's important for you to understand that your focus is a honing of your soul, of energy into a perspective. Your focus is your attention. And if there's anything that you are that is eternal, it is your attention, your focus, your consciousness, your soul. So where focus goes, or in other words, where you place your attention or your soul, energy flows and everything is energy. And so you feed what you're focused on. And when you are in denial of the present moment, which is the only cause of all of your personal suffering, despite how many ways it can show up, you keep yourself locked into the problem. And the problem persists from one present moment to the next. Now what's interesting is when you accept what is, you say, hey, I don't like this, but it is the way it is. I'm not in denial of it. Not my preference, I want something else. But I get that this is the way it is in this moment. What happens is you relax around the problem. You let the problem go through. Acceptance of what is. You see that, can you feel that? You just say, hey, I don't like it, but it's here. And I understand that it's here. And I'm not going to deny reality. I accept that it's here. I want it to be different, but I accept that it's here. You loosen your grip on the problem. You move into non resistance to the present moment. And when you do that, you give the present moment space. And in that space, the present moment evolves, the problem passes, the solutions come, and life begins to flow through your presence. I'll say that again. When you are present to the present moment, you bring your presence, you bring your soul to the present moment. You create space, you bring energy. You allow life to flow through and transform your present moment through your presence. New ideas, new people, new solutions, new intuition, coincidences, synchronicities, they flow into that space called your present moment, with your presence there, where you've relaxed around the problem. And what's really incredible is that those changes that occur will streamline intelligently and automatically into producing the desires that you have. See, what you want has already been recorded. God has heard your order. The universe has got you, but it cannot respond as long as you keep locking down on your resistance to the present moment. The denial, the suffering. The moment you relax, the present will transform in alignment with the desires you have. This is the game, guys. You have to know that problems will come, but solutions are right behind them. You have to get that whatever is happening should be happening. As much as you dislike it, how do we know that it should be happening? Because it is. Because that's called reality. Think about it for a moment. We argue with reality hundreds of times throughout the day. And this is what's actually keeping us in suffering and keeping us stuck. Look, the discomfort is inevitable. Things are going to show up that you don't expect. Problems are going to be there, but the suffering is optional. And remember, all suffering is a result of your own thinking. And more specifically, your denial. Your arguing with the present moment that it should be different than the way that it is. So next time something happens that you don't like, here's a suggestion, just say, I don't like it, but it is what it is and I accept that. It can be no other way. Just that simple acknowledgement is a huge shift. Your whole life will change if you can do that. If you can say, hey, I don't like this thing. But it is what it is. I accept that it can be no other way. Think about it. Normally you'd reject the situation. You'd confront the problem. You'd say it shouldn't be happening or it should be different. Then you'd argue in your head about it. Even when the person or the problem isn't even there anymore. You'd be bringing it into your present moment, projected into the future. You'd feed the problem. And so the problem stays and you suffer. But just by saying, look, I don't like it, but I accept it. Because it is. It shortcuts the inner chatter. Because the inner chatter is about denial of the present moment. So as soon as you accept it, the inner chatter stops. And that, by the way, is huge. It is a change in the way you function. It is a shift in your brain. It is an evolution of your nervous system. And it creates the space to let life flow, to let the solution flow. And it steps you out of suffering. So you get to have it all. Less suffering in your present moment and more space for life to create what you want. Super simple, right? But it is a game changer. This is the practice that changed my life and I wanted to be able to share it with you. So do me a favor for the next 24 hours, see if you've got the capacity to notice when you start arguing with reality and say, hey, you know what? Reality you win. This is the way it is supposed to be. I don't need to know why I accept it. I don't like it, but I accept it because it is what is. And see how that shifts your day. Watch as the space gets created and solutions start to emerge in areas of your life or your business or your health, your relationships or your bank account that have been stuck for years. And hey, if you love this episode, do me a favor. Don't forget to subscribe. Like the episode. Leave me a comment or rating or review. Totally helps out this show and you could pay it forward and share the episode with a friend or someone who really needs to hear it. And by the way, if you really want to master yourself and create powerfully in your life, you want to get into this practice with us, jump on over to davidbear.com there's a link in the show notes. You can check out our digital course Mindhack or the bundle we have right now with the whole human framework. Two incredible systems we've created to help you go beyond self awareness, rewire your brain and re engineer your reality. It doesn't have to be as hard as you're making it. And by the way, it's also not a do it yourself project. We do it together. Thanks for being here with me today. I love you so much and I will see you in the next episode. Hey it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week. I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technology, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.
