There is no way around selfcare.

Being a good person.

Helping others.

Avoiding conflict.

Avoiding people that make you feel shitty.

All this won't get you anywhere if you don't know how to stand up for yourself

nobody can and should do it for you.

Let's be honest. We secretly want to stand up for ourselves BUT something is holding us back .

Why is this ?

Let's have a closer look at it

with love

Aurora.

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:07

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora.

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And I'm very happy to be spending some time with you

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today.

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First off, I want to apologize for not posting my episode as

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usual on Thursday.

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I had kind of an emergency yesterday

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and was not able to show up and tense back pain

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to the point that I was not able to breathe properly anymore,

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held me back.

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And

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I'm slowly but surely healing and taking really good care of

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myself.

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And I thought Yeah, first thing I want to do, once I have a

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little more power, again, is to be there for you, and share with

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you what I'm learning because I know, in sharing this, I might

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am might be able to help you.

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And

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I can show up as authentically as I want. And that's going to

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help me heal as well.

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I think I was living under the impression that the more good I

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was doing in the world,

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the less likely

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I will be hurt or disappointed or attacked by people.

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And for the same reason. So thinking that if I do good in

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the work world,

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I also don't have to, yeah, really stand up for myself.

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I can avoid

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weird,

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uncomfortable situations because I just want goodness in my life.

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But in doing so I totally neglected myself, I was not

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there for myself, I just kept putting work and content out

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there thinking that I'm kind of paying into my health account.

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But I was not. I was Yeah, doing an out of balance.

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And now I'm paying the price.

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Life will force you on to your knees and make you learn these

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lessons.

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Take care of yourself first. Make yourself a priority. And

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you're not going to be selfish, you're going to be authentic,

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you're going to be able to speak your truth and make people see

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you understand you. Setting a boundary with someone doesn't

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mean that you want to shut them out of your life. It means that

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you give them a manual on how to treat you.

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And I share this with people I preach this I beg people to take

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care of this and focus on this

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yet at the same time. I don't do it for myself.

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And that's really concerning.

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In German we say the dentist has the most crooked and ugly teeth

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right they see what they can fix and do and the other and how to

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serve others but they kind of neglect themselves.

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Of course not every dentist has crooked teeth but I think you

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know what I'm trying to say here

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so yeah, I'm slowly but

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surely you're recovering here

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my

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house practice you know my little rituals that I engaged

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in. I also did in a in a resentful way kind of Yeah, I

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have to go for this walk now I have to take care of my physical

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health.

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And I kind of abused myself into these habits to be healthy.

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What the fuck was I thinking that that's going to keep me

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healthy? No on a mental emotional level. I'm abusing

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myself and my body may be to

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to some degree.

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So self care is really a tricky

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Saying,

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a thing that we have to learn to integrate in life and to not

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practice it in an abusive way.

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So yeah, I'm learning these very valuable lessons right now.

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And

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I'm just, yeah, very bad pain and my back is just

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forcing me onto my knees and forcing me to look at where I

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was not assertive, where I didn't speak up for myself.

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And I know the situations now. And I know that in those

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situations, I had physical pain. Mentally, I just had these sorts

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of I need to escape, I need to run away, I need to make the

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stop.

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But acts externally, I didn't act, I didn't do anything, I

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didn't do anything to make the shitty situation stop. So like a

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sponge, I kept inhaling

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that toxic energy. And now it accumulated inside of me. And

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I'm dealing with that pain. And I think that's what I'm supposed

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to learn. I'm supposed to learn to stand up for myself to not

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expect my partner or anybody else around me to do it for me,

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I have to do it for myself. I have to feel the self worth.

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And then stand up for myself.

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And know that it is going to improve my relationships and not

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destroy them, because I think that's what I'm scared.

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I'm scared that if I show up authentically, if I start

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setting boundaries, that I'm going to piss people off that I

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have to deal with their resentment and pain.

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But if I learned to communicate my boundaries in a gentle way,

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I can go to bed at night peacefully.

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And know that any weird reaction is like from the other side from

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the other party is not going to say anything about me, but about

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them.

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So

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sometimes a coach needs a coach.

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If you are connected with me on Facebook, he probably saw that

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little video of mine. If we haven't connected there yet,

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please join me there. I would love to connect with you on a

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deeper level. I love to know where my listeners are from and

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if ever you have a topic request, don't hold back and you

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just message me there. Aurora Eggert coaching or just Aurora

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Eggert. And you're more than welcome to message me, I usually

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get back to people.

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Once they let me know that they listen to my podcast and they

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want to comment or share something about their lives.

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Also,

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I'm being very vulnerable with you.

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It is a

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it is

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how do you say

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I have to overcome resistance for sure. Before I'm being that

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vulnerable because I thought, I'm a life coach. Now. I can't

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feel that way. I have to be strong, I have to be a leader.

Unknown: 00:08:58

But I figured that I want to create connection with you. I

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want you to trust me and to know that I'm not hovering somewhere

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above you. I'm right there with you.

Unknown: 00:09:09

And I'm sure I can learn tons of things from you.

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And that's what I'm learning right now with my coaching

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clients is that yeah, they learn from me, I provide them all the

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tools they need and I serve them

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to the best of my abilities, but I also learned so much about

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life and about myself and it's just a beautiful journey to be

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on.

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So if you feel like you're ready for a coaching session, don't

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hold back for 60 minutes are for free. And it's it's incredible

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what we can

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unlock when it comes to a potential

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It is incredible how we can experience a little shift of

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perspective within one session. And it can change our lives. And

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as

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Yeah, I feel very blessed and grateful to be working as a

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coach, it gives me so much and it excites me to see other

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people grow and flourish.

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Alright, if you haven't subscribed yet, subscribe to my

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podcast here. And if you want to leave me feedback, a review on

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Apple podcast, please don't hold back because that's the biggest

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way

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to make me be seen and to be able to reach more people out

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there who need this free podcast of goodness and empowerment and

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a space of recharging your batteries.

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Alright, I will take really good care of myself now. Please do

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the same. Until next time. Bye