At 12 years old BB got caught with her best friend. They weren't allowed to see each other anymore. That's when she started using drugs. Living a life that went against who she really was made authentic living impossible. Then as a pastor the gay community kept coming through her recovery ministry. Her pastor wanted her to make them straight. She couldn't figure that one out. Then a woman from her ministry overdosed and died. BB officiated her funeral. And God said reconcile my people. She started a support group in her living room. Forty people showed up. She sued the state of Mississippi over anti-LGBT discrimination laws and won locally. Lost at the Supreme Court. Started the queer church. Our triggers show us where our cracks are. Know thyself and balance your energy.

Takeaways:

• Living a life that contradicts who you really are creates wounds that need somewhere to go — for BB that was a 17 year drug addiction
• The pastor asking BB to minister to gay people was unknowingly asking her to look herself in the mirror
• Every person you help heal from a wound you survived yourself is the wound becoming medicine
• Suing the state of Mississippi as a pastor over anti-LGBT discrimination laws is Mars in the 9th house — beliefs under fire
• Our triggers show us where our cracks are — the friction in your life is pointing directly at the work that needs to be done

BB Red Jasper full Interview

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Was you always attracted to.

Well, when I was 12 years old, I.

My.

My best friend and I got caught being, you know, girls together and playing doctor.

And that's.

Yeah, that's when I started using drugs.

That's when I started using drugs.

Because of that, I was.

I was.

They.

They didn't allow me to see her anymore, and I.

And then I just, you know, started using drugs.

Do you think that some of the drug use had to do with trying to.

Because you in Mississippi and all that?

Absolutely, absolutely, yes, 100%.

Could it have been to mask, in a way?

Yes, yes, 100%, because I was living a life that did.

That went against who I really was, and I was unable to live in my authentic truth.

So.

Yes, absolutely.

So let me ask you this.

So did you kind of hesitate when.

When the.

In a way, the pastor asking you to handle that crowd, which is, in a way, him asking you to embrace your authentic self?

Yes.

Put.

Put you right in.

And it made you look yourself in the mirror.

And all these people just coming in, coming in, coming in, talking to you, and you just sitting there like, wait a minute.

Yes.

Yes.

And that's.

That was.

All right.

It was.

Who say they.

Who are they?

Church.

My.

All the people in my ministry, my.

My friends who I considered my friends.

My.

They crucified.

They started just.

They called my.

They called all the people that I was working with.

I had a network across the state with judges, with probation officers, parole officers, all sorts.

And they called all of them and told them that I relapsed and left my husband for a woman.

And they told me I'd lost.

They told him.

I, you know, and this was.

Rumors started flying.

They were typing.

They were doing all this on social media.

My pastor was preaching against me, using me in the pulpit.

It was horrible.

And all of my.

And I'm having a whole identity crisis, and of course, I'm terrified because I've been taught that I'm going to hell over this.

And so I. I literally had to go inside and deconstruct in order to live.

Yeah.

I had ptsd.

I had nightmares.

It was terrible.

Yeah.

And let me ask you this.

Let me ask you this.

Now that you.

What did that.

What do you think that situation showed you about people?

That situation taught me?

Or more like, what did that show you about people and beliefs?

I'll show.

I'll tell you what it showed me about beliefs.

Are you ready for this?

Let me grab something.

I'm going to show you something.

This is.

Okay, you ready?

All right.

Fear and faith are the same thing.

Fear and the belief.

Yeah, and faith are the same thing.

Fear and faith are the same thing.

Here's the belief that something's going to harm you.

And faith is the belief that something's going to help you.

And I wrote that down one day because I was like, holy.

That never dawned on me.

And I wrote it down and I was looking at it and kind of meditating on it, and I noticed the word belief.

It's giving me instructions.

It's giving me instructions.

This word is telling me to be leaf.

L, I, E, F. Now I know how important words are.

So I said, I need to know what leaf is.

And I looked it up.

L, I, E, F means love.

I did not know that.

So this word literally means be love.

And my mind was blown.

So I said, okay, Spirit, So what you're saying to me is fear is not a legitimate belief because perfect love casts out fear.

And then I said, so what you're saying is fear is my enemy and fear is a liar.

And spirit said, no, fear is not your enemy.

Fear is your guide showing you where you need love.

This is why the angels always say, fear not when they show up, because they come, embodied in your biggest fear, to guide you to your greatest strength.

That is mind blowing.

And I said, oh, my gosh, that is profound.

And spirit said, but you're missing the whole point.

And I said, I said to Spirit, I said, so if there's more to this teaching, give it to me and I'll give it to everybody.

And spirit said, what is that word?

And I said, be love.

And spirit said, what is love?

And I said, God.

And spirit said, be God already.

He said, this is what Jesus came to teach you.

Jesus came to say to you, ye are gods and will do greater things than even I.

And I got this understanding about belief.

Your belief is your God power.

And whatever you put your belief into, whatever you invest that energy of belief, that God energy of belief into you, you empower it as God and it becomes the creator of your reality.

And so belief, what has happened in religion, the belief has become the God.

The belief has become the golden calf.

And people are worshiping and serving the dogma and the doctrine not becoming God, not becoming love, not living and vibrating and being unconditional love, which is what I was and the frequency I was in after the lady touched me on the Third eye.

And it wasn't until I started feeding on the doctrine, the beliefs of this is good and this is evil, that, that, that love frequency became divided.

Oh, this is good and this is evil.

And so I, my, my, my vessel is unable to hold pure unconditional love because it's got a split right down the middle of it.

You don't, you don't know this, but I re.

I recently did an episode and it's called Venus Split.

Right.

And even though most people know me for astrology, I do dabble with tarot.

And, and so the episode is about Venus, the empress.

Venus rules two signs, Taurus and Libra.

Libra is Jupiter justice in the tarot deck.

Taurus is the herant, and the herant is connected to tradition and justice.

And Libra is.

Libra is all about relationships.

And Libra is air, and air is communication and thoughts.

And so what happens when Venus, what we love, what we desire, and all of that comes in conflict with the hierophant tradition?

Do you keep it up, right, or do you turn it reverse and be the unorthodox one?

And then what comes with that?

And then how, by the way, when it comes to.

And then the cards that's connected to this Taurus would be the 5, 6, 7 of pentacles.

Right.

And.

And the cars connected to justice would be two, three, four of swords.

Right.

And two of swords.

Three of swords is the heart with two swords and one going through the middle.

Yes, I have a. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

And so you think about.

That's kind of the story you just talked about when you trail.

When you said, you know, this is what I love, this is what I desire.

I, this is what I value.

I find value in this and these, this type of people, this type of lifestyle.

What did, what did the hierophant tradition do to you?

Broke it all.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Absolutely.

And it's so interesting about what you're saying here, Paul, because when I had that rebirth, right, that awakening on September 26th, that's Libra season.

Yes.

And let me show you.

I, I use paintings to, I teach, I, I do a lot of teachings and I, I paint, but I did these paintings and I want to show you a couple of paintings because it's real interesting what you just said.

I'm going to turn my camera around so you can see.

Let me see if I can figure out how to do that.

Oh, well, maybe not.

Don't know how to do that on here.

Okay.

So I'm just going to turn my camera around.

Okay, so this is the painting that I say is, like, my awakening.

Like, this is the moment.

This is an almond brand or almond tree.

And the almond tree is known as the Awakened One.

And so this is.

And it's got the Ouroboros in it.

It's my awakening.

And then I talk about when I went into the church and got into religion.

And this is what happened.

This is what that experience did.

Oh, the.

The three of swords.

The three of swords, yeah.

So everything you're explaining is, like, blowing my mind a little bit.

So, yes, absolutely.

100.

And I think all of us.

Excuse my palm.

I think all of us.

Oops.

Okay, Sorry.

I think what we are all here to do, we're all here to put the vessel back together.

It's broken.

And our journey through life, that is why we're here.

We're here to find the places where we have cracks, where we have brokenness, where our vessel is unable to hold the frequency of pure, unconditional love because of.

Because of shame, because of guilt, because of, you know, insecurities, because of fears.

And what happens when we walk in with the triggers.

Show us where the cracks are, and that's where the work is.