Welcome to "It Has to Be Me"! In this podcast, we explore the pivotal moments that shape our lives; and share how we get past our fears and doubts to go after what we want.    

In this first episode, I delve into some of the significant moments that spurred the learning and growth that brought me to where I am and inform my coaching practice. From my struggles with Epstein-Barr virus and discovering the power of food as medicine, to understanding the value of self-love and personal responsibility through my experience with addiction and divorce, and celebrating the cancer diagnosis that helped thousands of people get healthy.   

If you want to recognize and seize opportunities to get what you want, listen in to get fired up for your next “It Has to be Me.”  

Tess’s Takeaways: 

• What are your “It has to be me” moments?  
• Epstein-Barr virus helped me pay attention to food choices.  
• Heartbreak is an invitation to embrace personal responsibility.   
• Use all your experiences to learn who you are.   
• Forgiveness empowers you to celebrate change.   
• Better nutrition supports healing from cancer.  
• Reject the scarcity mindset and lean into abundance and possibility. 

Meet Tess Masters:  

Tess Masters is an actor, presenter, health coach, cook, and author of The Blender Girl, The Blender Girl Smoothies, and The Perfect Blend, published by Penguin Random House. She is also the creator of The Decadent Detox® and Skinny60® health programs.   

Health tips and recipes by Tess have been featured in the LA Times, Washington Post, InStyle, Prevention, Shape, Glamour, Real Simple, Yoga Journal, Yahoo Health, Hallmark Channel, The Today Show, and many others.   

Tess’s magnetic personality, infectious enthusiasm, and down-to-earth approach have made her a go-to personality for people of all dietary stripes who share her conviction that healthy living can be easy and fun. Get delicious recipes at TheBlenderGirl.com.  

Connect With Tess: 

Website: https://tessmasters.com/  

Podcast Website: https://ithastobeme.com/   

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theblendergirl/  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theblendergirl/  

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theblendergirl  

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/theblendergirl  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessmasters/  

Get Healthy With Tess 

Skinny60®: https://www.skinny60.com/  

Join the 60-Day Reset: https://www.skinny60.com/60-day-reset/ 

The Decadent Detox®: https://www.thedecadentdetox.com/  

Join the 14-Day Cleanse: https://www.thedecadentdetox.com/14-day-guided-cleanses/ 

The Blender Girl: https://www.theblendergirl.com/  

Thanks for listening!  

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Thank you for joining me, on this first episode of it has to be me, I am so excited about the conversations that we're going to be having with some people that I think are amazing. And that I would love you to know about. But if you've sat with somebody, or a group of people, and they're having a conversation, and everybody's laughing and joking, and you're enjoying the conversation, but everybody sort of seems to understand the backstory and sort of be in on some jokes, or some information, and you sort of feel a little bit left out, it's not a nice feeling, right. And so before I start inviting our guests on and having these conversations about their it has to be me moments, in the hopes that it will help you recognize your it has to be me moments and take action on them. I thought it would be helpful for us all to start with a common language about what it has to be me is. So I think of my life as a series of it has to be me moments, a series of memories, a collection of choices and experiences. And every experience gives us the tools for the next experience. And we just listen, learn and grow. And we do it within ourselves. And we do it in communication and in relationship with others. So I thought I'd talk through some of my it has to be me moments, and the lessons that I learned from them in the hopes that you'll be able to relate to some of them because we've all got the same needs don't wait to be known and loved and have a happy life. So I was really I am very fortunate that I, I struck gold. I won the lottery. When I was born with these two incredible parents, and and Robert are their names. And we're Australian, I was born in Australia, but we lived and traveled all over the world. And I've gotten a lot of lessons from my parents, but about being a good person about being kind to others about self esteem about being thirsty and curious about the world. But that's the biggest lesson I think that's really carried me through in my life and will continue to carry me through is being interested choosing to be interested in myself and others and the world around me. And just constantly asking questions. Why? Why is that? Tell me about that. I'm interested in that. And so growing up, I have one younger sister, Cara, She's incredible. We're 18 months apart. I'm the oldest sibling, she's the youngest sibling. And we were just this really tight knit unit of four. And gosh, we've had fun together. And now I have one brother in law Lee. And I have a niece and nephew, Alexandra and Solomon and they're gorgeous. And the seven of us just have a lot of fun together and learn from each other. You know, growing up, we weren't ever allowed to say that we didn't like something until we tried it. So for example, if we were traveling around and you know, some strange exotic food that we'd never dried before is that it got put in front of us. Okay, no, I don't like that. And my dad or my mom would say, Well, how do you know? You haven't tried it? And it's okay you have every right to say that you don't like and and shoes that you don't like, but once you've tried it, but it might be something that you absolutely love and you're going to miss out on because I have what I would say QED FOMO not just FOMO fear of missing out I have a catastrophic and disastrous fear of missing out. We tried everything. And it led us into some really unexpected extraordinary places. So my my family, they just were just thirsty, adventurous. There's two travelers and gosh, we've met some incredible people along the way. We never met a stranger. My dad talks to everybody and tells his life story much to the embarrassment of my mother sometimes. But gosh, does it opened up some things and my mother likes to take the road less traveled. So she's always doesn't go the straight route. So now that we've got GPS is, you know, no, no, she's got her own way of doing everything and we get lost. And my dad gets frustrated sometimes and just ask for directions. But you know, when you get lost, and you're right in the mess of things, some some pretty incredible things happen to so one of my really pivotal it has to be me moments was when I was 13 years old. So my my mom and dad both have beautiful families but my mother in particular comes from this really magical family, the Fisher family and my grandfather cos she was a rogue he was this very adventurous, very clever entrepreneurial person. And he had all of these brothers ancestors, beautiful people really musical and they just adored each other, they've now all passed away. They'd love the last one, my auntie Bay passed away 201 Recently, and oh, gosh, Her funeral was the most amazing celebration of life. But one of the things I remember about this family is that they love to sing. And they love to tell stories. And so one of my favorite things in the world was to, we'd all stand around the piano. So they were all most of them were in Adelaide, and we lived in Melbourne at the time. And we lived all over the world, but, but we lived in Melbourne for much of my childhood. And so we would go to Adelaide probably about three or four times a year. And it was my favorite thing to do was standing around the piano, just singing with these people and listening to the stories and drinking and laughing and it was just my happy place truly where I, I really, that was really where my love of music and my love of storytelling really came from. And so when I was 13, we flew over there, and I just really hadn't been feeling good. I was just tired all the time. This plagued with this extreme lethargy. And I just thought, maybe it was puberty. When my body was changing. I was emotionally going through a difficult time. So it was being bullied at school by this horrible girl. Well, she probably wasn't horrible. She was just lost, you know. But I felt like she was horrible. And she was certainly being pretty mean to me. So I was going through a difficult time at school trying to find my way. And I, we flew over to Adelaide. And I just didn't feel like participating in this thing that I loved more than anything in the world, the singing, I didn't have the energy, I just had to go and lie down. And my mom came into one of the bedrooms at my grandma's house and said, What's wrong? What's wrong with you? You love this. And he said, I know. And I just started to cry just uncontrollably. I mean, I want to cry just thinking about it. Now I just I wanted this this thing so badly. And I just didn't have the body to do it. I didn't have the energy to do it. So because my mom's a good mom, she took me to get some tests, and I got diagnosed with Epstein Barr Virus, which is, you know, a chronic, you know, it's a, it's a condition where you're just really tired. It's a system illness, you know, to chronic fatigue, it's kind of in that family of illnesses. And so I really did have something and I wasn't well. And look, this is 35, you know, 3034 3537 years ago, gosh, how old am I now I've got two very good maths here. And so it was the doctor just said, we're just going to rest in got kind of ride it out. And this is how it's going to be for a while. And my mom just went I don't think so no, we're going to find a solution to this. So she took me to a naturopath to see what we could do with food, you know, and that was considered very hippie dippie back then. So the naturopath was incredible. And just made some tweaks to what I was doing made some suggestions of eating, you know, a lot of vegetables, which we were already doing, but being more strategic and intentional about it. And, you know, why don't you try not eating gluten, and dairy and sugar, and eating more, you know, probiotics and fermented foods and things like that. Oh, I thought my nickname when I was growing up was mouse because I loved cheese, almost more than oxygen almost more than singing. You know? I can't do that. You know, but I was feeling so desperate and was missing out on my life, that I was prepared to give up those things that I really wanted for this thing that I wanted more, which was to feel good to have energy to be able to participate to do the things that I really wanted to do.

And you know what? Oh gosh, was it so worth it? I felt better. Almost overnight. Within a matter of a few days. I could not believe the difference. Now. Will I say it cured my Epstein Barr? No, of course not. But was I able to manage it and still function as I navigated my way through my healing app. salutely. And so that was really the it has to be me moment really where I first started recognizing that that I had the power to control how I felt not only in my mind, but in my body. I got to choose. I got to control how I felt. And it was this remarkable, magical, empowering moment in my life. Where I got to decide it has to be me. I either eat cheese and I eat bread and I eat you know, candy bars or I feel better I had two choices. And so thankfully, I chose Dalby with much nudging from my mother. But it turned out to be really the impetus into a revolution into the way that I ate. And to this day would really be the biggest it has to be me moment in my entire life, really, in terms of my health, my physical body. So that was that was an interesting journey. Because, you know, often when we come into the sphere of knowledge, and we are enlightened, we go to extremes, right? And Boyd and I go to extremes, right. So then I became obsessed, I was going to master the art of my own health and feel as amazing as I could be, even if it killed me. And quite frankly, that's that's what it felt like to me. I was I was just, it was just like a drug to me. So I tried every diet you can think of. I was a vegetarian, I was vegan. I was grain free. I was a raw foodist. I was pretty good. And I was, you know, grain free. I mean, I was macrobiotic, I mean, you name it. I really became one of those annoying people that found the answer every six months, and tried to recruit everybody that they know, you probably know somebody like this, right? I was probably quite painful to be around. And my daddy, I mean, my dad and I, we are so close. I mean, he is like my heart song. I love my dad so much. And he's so loving and supportive, and generous and kind. I mean, he just adores me, and just wants me to be the best version of myself. So when he pulled me aside and said this to me this day, was it a wake up call, right? So we went out for my 18th birthday. And I wasn't excited about being 18. I mean, I was, but my phone wasn't excited about going to this restaurant that were dreamt of going for years and years, we were all living in Singapore at the time, I'll come back to that in a second. And my dad, I all I was thinking about what I was going to eat, I was obsessed about all the things that I couldn't eat, and how was I going to explain to the waiter that I didn't eat gluten, and I didn't eat sugar, and he, they're going to have to do this and this and this. And so we're all sitting there. And I the waiter comes over and you know, tells us this specials and my mum and dad and Cara, they're all really excited about it. And I started telling the waiter, well, I can't have this and I can't have that. And my dad just said to the waiter, could you give us a minute? And he turned to everybody and he said, Okay, so I need to say something to you because you're 18 now and I think you can you can handle this, you can understand this? Are you having any fun with food? Because food should be fun, right? Because let me tell you something, we're not having any fun watching you eat watching you starve yourself watching you explain to the waiter in a 20 minute tirade about all the things you can't have. What about all the things you can have? What about life being about what you add to it, not about what you take away from it. And he literally winded me, it literally took my breath away, and I started to cry. Because I knew he was right. And it hurt. It hurt. Because someone had put a mirror up to choices that were actually hurting me, choices that were probably hurting my body and absolutely hurting my spirit, you know, and, and closing off opportunities for me. And so that was really a turning point for me with my relationship with food and with life. Because I really started to realize that life and the magic of life doesn't happen in the extremes. It happens in the mess, it happens in the gray, it happens in all the little choices. And just in the balance, right making balanced choices that I could eat sugar sometimes and have fun with it, I could eat a bit of gluten, I'm not a celiac, I'm not lactose intolerant, I could just find that balance and pick and choose my moments. And so that really opened things up in my life that flexibility rather than rigidity. And doing things my way rather than buying into dogma or some book or somebody else's idea of what to do could really lead to being more happy and being more free. And so that that was a really, really, really huge moment for me. The other thing that happened when we moved to Singapore, you know, look when mum and dad sat us down and said that we were moving to Singapore because my dad was taking a job with Singapore Airlines. It was a welcome piece of news for me because I was being bullied and I wanted out of that girl school and I just wasn't having a good time. But we were still terrified. It was the unknown what was this going to be like, you know, but off we went, you know, and we're gonna you know, we sat there as a family and we said, You know what, it's going to be new. It's gonna be exciting. We're gonna be able to travel all over Asia do all this exciting stuff. You're gonna be able to go to a call where'd school in international school meet all these people from all over the world. But it was still saying goodbye to a chapter and what we knew, which was living in Melbourne, Australia. And all of our friends and family, right. But off we went. And it turned out to be one of the greatest chapters of my life. So we went all in. And you know, there were some tears the night before the first day of school. And off we went. And, you know, it was kind of fun doing some of the hot guys at school and seeing all of the people from all the different cultures and we found our way. But on the first day of school, we all sort of walked down, it was this big, long walkway felt like it took forever. At ISS, I went to the international school in Singapore, and every all the buses were down at the bottom, or people you know, people people's cars picking the pickup point. And we got on the bus was going to take us back to our you know, at our apartment, and there was this really cool girl sitting at the back of the bus, and she was gorgeous. And I thought to myself, Oh, gosh, I would love to be that beautiful. And I was leaving. And she was in the popular crowd at school, you know, like, I'd seen her on campus and Twitter thought, Oh, she's really cool. I love her outfit, that kind of stuff. And they were just sort of no seeds. And I was all sort of all looking awkward. And she goes, you can sit here I do want to sit with me. And I went down and sat next to her. And we just started talking. And it was a friendship that just carried me through that chapter, she became my best friend introduced me to all of her friends, people that I'm still friends with today. And one of the things before we moved to Singapore, I decided this was an opportunity to reinvent myself. I don't want to be Terri Ann anymore. That's my birth name. I'm going to be somebody else because who I am wasn't working, I was being bullied, I felt like I wasn't accepted. I didn't belong at this girl's school in Australia. So I changed my name to test because my mom called me tests. And they called me Tessie. And so I'm gonna change my name, that's gonna, that's gonna fix everything, changing my name. So I entered Singapore and I became Tess. And to my mum and dad and my sisters credit, they allowed me to be tests, and they just went with it must have been very hurtful, actually, for my parents, but they just went with it. And what I realized in that chapter was that I didn't change anything about myself. I just started showing myself more and hanging out with different people who started asking questions and hearing me and seeing me, and that people wanted to hear what I had to say. And they accepted me for who I was. And so that sense of belonging, it was a really interesting time for me of interest. Where I really learned that lesson that you just show up. And you use your voice, and you ask questions, and you answer questions, and you go from there, you know? Gosh, it was a really wonderful time after I graduated, ISS. I was still 17 at the time and my mum, I said, I want to go to university. And my mum said, I think you're a bit young, I really want you to go to PwC United World College, and I want you to do the IB, the International Baccalaureate, I want, that's two more years of school.

I'm going to be 19 I'm going to be ancient when I go to university. This is what I mean, there were tantrums in my household, right? And she said, I'm telling you, that's what you're doing. And I mean, I didn't have a choice back then I was 17. Right. So I went to U WC. And I mean, I was a surly teenager for quite a few months. But it was the best thing that have ever happened to me at that time, because I met my drama teacher, Mr. McManus, who apart from my parents, when I when I was a child and a teenager turned out to be have the greatest single influence on my life out of anyone besides my parents, I mean, just really instilled in me this love of story and theater and acting. And it was a it was an interesting time for me because I I really started to understand the value of story and how it helps you understand the world understand life. Understand yourself. And so one thing that happened when I graduated PWC and I was applying to all of these universities, and of course, I had stars in my eyes. I wanted to be an actor. And so, look, again, my parents just incredible. I got scholarships. I got some scholarships to some very big schools in the United States. But I wanted to go to LA. I wanted to go to UCLA or Juilliard, like that. That was kind of like my dream, right? And I didn't actually go and audition for Juilliard. But I auditioned for UCLA, and I got in. And I really fought to be at that school, you know, and it was really expensive. And my parents just said, you know, what you go where your heart wants to take you where you want to go. And they, you know, they gave up a lot to send me to this school, and it cost them a lot of money. And it was a beautiful experience. I fell madly in love. For the first time in my life. I met some incredible friends that I still have today. And some other it has to be me moments. All right, so I was interesting, you know, the firt, my Mick McManus, my drama teacher said to me, now, listen, you're used to being the star of this school. But you've got to remember that everybody at UCLA was the star of their school. So what I've heard from my friends and colleagues is that, you know, the seniors get all the leads, and you know, as a freshman, you're going to be doing the behind the scenes work and maybe doing a little bit parts. And I said, that's okay, I can do that. You know. So that was in my head. So the first quarter at UCLA was in this theater history class, kind of learning things. And all the auditions started going up for the shows. And I was too afraid to audition. I just went, there's no way I'm gonna get anything. I'm not enough. Everybody here is better than me. And I didn't audition. And there was this one show that quarter called the love of the night and gals is incredible play. And all everybody wanted these two female roles, right. And they were having apparently having a hard time casting this one pot, because they needed somebody that had a particular quality. She was very filamentous, she was this young girl that then turned into a very strong woman. And so one day, I'm walking across the courtyard of, of the theatre department, and all of a sudden, my TA of my theater history class is running after me calling my name tears tears. And he's standing with the director of this play of love of the night and out and these and they said, you know, we'd really liked you to audition for for the play. And I went really? And they said, Yeah, really. And then basically Mac revealed, you know, we're looking for a particular quality. And apparently, he had said to her, you know, this, this, I could be wrong. But there's this girl in my theater history class. She's really smart. She's a little bit older. I think she might be I don't know. But let's say the reason I tell you that story is that I got rescued that day. Because I auditioned and I got that part. And it turned out to be an extraordinary experience. For me where I was in this place, everyone else in the play was a senior or graduate student. And I really got to uplevel my skills with these older people. And I would have missed out on that opportunity had had I not been rescued with somebody fate intervened, and they forced me to audition. Well, that doesn't always happen. I could have completely missed out on this experience. And I'll tell you another thing that happened while I was there, when I was a senior. Oh, he's very famous Oscar nominated director came to the school and was sitting on the benches. And he came up to me, he was sort of listening to me talk about something and he was sort of sitting there. And he sort of just came up to me and he said, Oh, you know, I've just been listening to you talk about about that. And I'm just so interested, in your perspective, do you mind if we just talk a little bit? So we started sort of talking about some stuff. And it was a really lovely conversation. Of course, I was totally freaking out. Because this was kind of incredible. And he said, You know, I'm about to, to direct this movie. And I'd really love you to come and audition, I think that there's, there's a part there for you that that you can be really grateful. And I cannot even believe I'm about to tell you this or that I did this. But I went, you know what, I think I'm just going to focus on my studies. And I'm not really ready to be doing that professionally yet. I'm just going to thank you, though, you know, really, do you know what you're doing? Are you sure about this? And I went, Yeah, yeah. And it wasn't that I wasn't ready to be. I was terrified that I wasn't going to be enough that I didn't have what it took to do it. And I passed on that opportunity. Well, there was another girl in my class that was sitting on the benches and was watching this whole thing play out. And as he walked off, she ran off to him and went up to him and said, Hey, hi. I'm Jaya. And, you know, I'd love to audition for this. You know, I think I could really bring something to this. And you know what? She got a part in that movie. And that movie ended up being a huge movie. And when I went to see that movie, I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach, you know, that could have would have showed a deep regret. sick sick feeling of missed opportunity of wasted potential of not crying out, it has to be me, you know? And I resented her for her strength and her courage in going it has to be me Don't Ask Don't get go after what you want seize the moment Carpe Diem all this stuff, right. And it was a painful lesson not for her was wonderful for her, but painful for me. And that was a really powerful it has to be mean moment where I just went, you know what, I'm not missing out on anything. I'm not missing out on anything. Because I don't feel like I'm enough because a what? Gosh, he probably asked hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people to audition for that movie. I probably may not have gotten the pot. But I might have. And now I'll never know. I'll never know. Right? I'd rather know, I gave it my all and it just wasn't my opportunity that day. But now I'll never know. And another thing that happened, where it really solidified and crystallized that for me was around about the same time I went off. And I met my my mum and my sister in London. And when I arrived, I got to the hotel room, my mother opened the door, and she just had this stark look on her face.

And it was really, I knew that it was bad news, I just knew. And so I just started to cry. I said what and she goes, Look, there's no easy way to tell you this. But Helen died. Helen was my best friend when I was 15 in Melbourne. And she was in a car accident of just a freak car accident with three other teenagers. And they died instantly, life snuffed out way too early. And I you know, when you hear bad news, and you know it's true, but you just wishing it's not true. It's sort of ricocheting off of your skin. And you you just kind of take it in, like a particularly that was the first peer of mine that had passed away. You know, up until that point, you know, you sort of believe that it's only old people that die, you know, it's your grandparents, it's people die when they're 80, you know, or something like that. Now I'm hoping 99, right? winded me, and you know, you know, when you first Pierre dies, it really helps, you know, forces you to face your mortality. So I really, I really, was really struggled with that. And I remember going, because I've gotten off the plane, I was sticky and dirty. And so I said, I'm gonna go and have a bath, and I got in the bath. And I remember I was in there, I think for about an hour and a half the bath got cold. And I didn't even notice. Because I was just thinking about all of the things that she was going to miss out on wasn't going to be able to do. And my mom knocked on the door and she said, Can I come in and she put the lid of the toilet down and sat on the toilet, and was just bear with me and I was sitting in the bath. And she goes what's going on? And I just said I just I it's just not fair. It's not fair, I

can't, I can't believe that she's not going to be able to do this and get married. And Rachel had dreams. And we talked about doing this and traveling the world together and and she said, well, then you're gonna have to do it for her.

And she was at a moment where I realized that life is for the taking. We don't know when our time is up. So you got to make the most of it. And it has to be me. And I was just never going to miss out on opportunities ever again. And I was going to go off and chase all of my dreams, no matter what, for both of us. And it was a it was a huge, huge. A huge moment for me, doesn't mean I always succeed with it. But it's a commitment that I made to myself in that moment. And it's it's interesting how the universe works that same year. My mom also came to me and Mr. McManus had died at the age of 41. He had a heart attack at the airport in Laos, just this month. He had a heart condition and he died at 41. I think as I'm sitting here talking to you at the age of 51. I think that he died 10 years from where I am now. That's just way too young. And it was gut wrenching because one of my lighthouses was gone. And I just felt unanchored untethered like how was I going to be an actor and make sense of story if I couldn't talk about it with my mentor this person that helped me make sense of everything to do with story and acting and theater and movies and And I think that, again, it was it was, it was an it has to be me moment for me where I realized it has to be me to continue, it has to be me to continue in relationship to it to continue being inside this conversation. And, and also this idea of you can be in conversation with people, even if they have passed, that you are still in conversation, you're still listening and hearing their voice and remembering the lessons and carrying them with you and honoring that story. And, gosh, it really led me into some beautiful places as an actor, where I then went in audition for some things where, where even my agent would go, I think this play is sort of strange. And I don't know, there's a lot of other people at the agency that are passing on this audition, but you know, if you want to go they want to see you. So I went to this audition. And it turned out to be just this most incredible relationship that I have with this theatre company, we traveled the world, it was so amazing and met some friends of mine that I just my heart song friends, and also just forging my own path and making my own decisions about things in my career no matter what anybody else said. And some of them have turned out to be good decisions. And some of them now that I think about it, maybe not such good decisions, but they are my decisions. They're my yeses, and they're my nose no matter what. So I want to ask you what your yeses and what your nose what you're it has to be me experiences are what your it has to be mean moments are, who were the mirrors that you look into? Who are the people that help you expand into the best parts of yourself, you know, and sometimes those experiences come wrapped in pain. You know, so one of my most powerful it has to be me moments. And really, really, the making of me in so many ways was when I got married. I I married this man that I loved more than oxygen. I mean, you know, we met in this really, really, it was kind of like a film really, I was on a film set. I was on a film set, and I met his sister. And her name was Jill, where name is Jill, I should say. And I literally saw her across the set. And it was this strange feeling that came over me like I knew her. I knew her. And she had the same reaction. And she just walked straight over to me. And she said, I'm sorry, I don't know what just happened. But I feel like I know you. And I said, I know. I didn't even know what that was. But I feel like I know you too. Anyway, we just spent the whole day talking and laughing and oh my god. It was amazing. And so I didn't know this back then. But she went back home and said to her called her brother Rob and said, You don't know this yet. But I met the girl that you're going to marry today. You ready? Yeah. Okay, she's no, no, I'm serious. But it was because she wanted me to be her sister. You know, this is what she says. Right? So she said, You got to meet my brother. I'm telling you got to meet my brother. So years past and out of the blue, I get this phone call. And he goes, Hi, It's Rob, you know, do you know who I am? I said, Of course I do. And I go, is everything okay? Is geolocate it's oh my god. Sorry. I don't I don't mean to scare you. But no, it's just that for years I've been hearing that you can walk on water. So I just set bolt up in my my bed at two o'clock in the morning. And when I'm calling, it has to be made, right. And so it started this really beautiful friendship where we talked on the phone periodically over the years for seven years. And we just became friends. And I just fell in love with him. And so eventually, we just decided it has to be me. We're going to meet up. So he says, how about we meet halfway in Hawaii, let's just meet up we'd never met. I really didn't know what he looked like at this point. But I just didn't care. It has to be me that goes and does this just like that moment in the courtyard at UCLA where I didn't decide I'm deciding. And I'd rather regret what I did do as opposed to what I didn't do, you know, so we met, fell in love got married. And I mean, we were with the same birthday born on the same day. So crazy. So it was sort of like this fairy tale fantastical magical. So I felt like this was my destiny. I've got to do this no matter what, no matter what happens, I'm going to make this work. And so but then things started to take a little bit of a difficult turn. Well, not a little bit a really difficult turn. It all got revealed that he Well, well prior to that his mother when when we we really started our relationship. Their mother had cancer, and she was dying, and it was a horrible time. They all went through just gut wrenching as you can imagine just these beautiful people going through the worst time of their life, right. So not the most ideal time to really start a really intense relationship. But anyway, you know, we just had to be together. So we did it. And so you know, as you can imagine, everybody fell apart after this beautiful woman died. And he fell apart. And it revealed some things that had already been going on for many, many, many years. But I didn't know right, that he was an alcoholic, and had anxiety and depression and all kinds of issues, though, and that exacerbated them. So things really started to escalate. And over the years, until one night on September 11, this is in 2008. He just didn't come home. He didn't come home. And he had been in treatment centers in and out and we've gone through a lot of stuff prior to that. But I always just hoped this is when it's gonna get better. This is when he's going to decide it has to be me to go after what I want to make changes and be present. And, you know, he never really did decide to do that. And but it had to be his Yes. And his No, not mine. But I still hadn't really learned that lesson. And so I, I, I was just trying to push and push and push to make things the way that I wanted them to be, but you can't do the work for anybody else. You can only do your own work, but I didn't know that or really want to embrace that back then like I was going to get him better, I was going to whatever, you know, I was going to blow the lid off this and tell the truth and get him in treatment. I mean, it was just Who am I pretty arrogant, right? But you know, I was desperate. I just wanted him to be better, you know, and wanted our relationship to be better. But, you know, I was also contributing to it not being better, you know. So anyway, on this night on September 11, eating come home. And so my friend and his dad, beautiful my father in law, and I, we all found him down at our lake house, and he had overdosed in taking pills. And anyway, it was awful. And was the most traumatic experience of my life where, you know, we had to get in the water and get him off the boat. And the ambulance came and he died, you know, three times, on the way in the ambulance. And, but we we saved his life, what a privilege to be able to do that. And the people at the hospital were incredible. And he was in intensive care and, and right after that, he just turned to me and said, I don't want to be married, you need to move out. I can't do this anymore.

And I think it was the first really truthful thing that he ever said to me. It was not a truth that I wanted to hear. But it was truthful. And so I fought and fought against it. And I just didn't want to accept it. Like we're meant to be together. I love you a little bit, right. But he just didn't want to do it. He didn't want to do it. And so I needed to honor that I needed to honor that. And gosh, at the time, that story brought out the worst in me the absolute worst, the desperation, the the, the addiction, the addiction to him, like, you know, I was dealing with alcoholism and addiction thinking I was focusing on his addiction. But you know, going to Al Anon really helped me see that I was just as addicted. We're all addicted to something right? We're addicted to our excuses. We're addicted to our insecurities. We're addicted to helping others. I mean, we could go on right? I was addicted to having the answers and being right. I was the healthy one. I was the one that knew what to do. I mean, come on, who does know all? That's ridiculous, right. But that's how it felt. And so that was the most painful traumatic chapter of my entire life. But it was the making of me in so many ways. Because it really expose some things about myself that I really needed to look at. And at the time, I had this incredible friend who was with me that night, Michelle, still one of my dearest friends in the entire world. My sister really, she didn't leave my side for you know, 52 hours straight. When that happened. It was incredible. Nick's incredible expression of love. And she said to me at the time, you know what? She goes, I can't listen to you talk about how all these other people have done all these terrible things. Yeah, some things have been done that aren't right and are hurtful and awful. But everybody's trying to do the best that they can with with the tools that they have. And I think that you need to read the Four Agreements. If this little book you might know it, I keep it by my bed to this day because they're just really simple agreements, right? Like, do you Best, be impeccable with your word. Don't make assumptions, you know, I mean, they're just beautiful agreements, very simple way to move through the world. And that was a real wake up call for me was someone again, like my dad, someone I really loved, put a really honest mirror up to me and said, All you can do is focus on what you did in this story and why you did it. Why did you stay in this situation that was not healthy for anybody? Why did you choose to stay? Why did you think that was enough? Why did you want that? Why was that your dream right now? Why were you leaning into that? Why did you decide it has to be made. And that was a really painful conversation to have was very confronting. I wasn't really ready to have it. But I went with it. So I went back to Australia. And there was a lot of crying in a fetal position. In in the corner of the room, and I I literally, it was the lowest point in my life. I wasn't suicidal, per se, but I just didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I didn't care about anything. And if I hadn't gone to sleep and not woken up that night, I wouldn't have cared. That's how I felt. Until one day, I just was lying there doing an inventory about my life, like staring at the dust on the I was lying there on this cold floorboard. Staring at the dust on the skirting board going, is this gonna be my view? Is this gonna be what I see of life? Like, This can't be it, you know, and, and my friend Chris had come over. And I, when I go through really difficult times my natural inclination is to retreat. I just want to curl up in a ball hide, figure it out on my own, and then emerge like the Phoenix that has it figured out. That's my natural default position. And so I did a lot of a lot of hiding, as a child a lot of processing things on my own, and not asking for help. That's a skill that I learned later in life. And Chris really helped me see that I, you know, she came over, just banged on the door, and just said, open the door, I know you're in there, open the door. And I pulled myself up, open the door. And she said listen. And she had a pillow. She had a blanket, she had a stack of books, and she had some food. She's an amazing cook. And she said, I'm coming in, and I'm being with you and I'm holding space with you. And we're gonna get through this together. And I said no, no, she could stop. She said, Don't rob me the privilege of being here for you. In this time. You are the first person to call when I'm going through something you're the first person to show up on the doorstep with with food with whatever with with with your an open heart and your ears. Don't rub me the privilege of being there for you. And honestly, I was so desperate to feel better. And I just needed a hug, I needed a rush of oxytocin, I need someone's arms around me, I needed love. Because I couldn't find it on my own, you know. And I still think of that moment where she said, decide it has to be made or asked for help decide to let somebody else in to hold you to be with you to be in the space to be in the mess to be in there with you and help you figure it out.

And it was it was it was a flow on lesson from what I learned with the Rob and Michelle story is that I had a tendency to get lost in other people's stories to fixate on why other people did what they did, as opposed to just really keeping a focus on being curious and interested in why I do what I do. And focusing on others and blaming others and shaming and that kind of stuff. It is a form of staying disconnected and avoiding connection with you with yourself. And that was one of the big lessons right for me with that story was just about that. That that connection disconnection, right and that what addict that's what addiction is, isn't it right there. It's a way of destroying disconnected because you can't connect or you don't want to connect, you know, with the pain with the reality. But I had this insatiable will need to connect. That's why I'm an actor. That's why I'm a storyteller. That's why I'm a speaker. That's why I'm an author. That's why I'm a cook. I'm always telling stories with everything that I do. That's why I'm a coach. Now. I'm always connecting with myself and others. That's my insatiable need. And so, I can't stay connected with these things that I love, if I am seeking out disconnection. So I want to ask you, how do you stay connected? And how do you disconnect in your life? What tools are you using? And are the it has to be mean moments and the choices that you're making, helping you live the life that you want, helping you go after your dreams, helping you recognize those, it has to be mean moments and seizing them and choosing your people wisely, to swim around in the mean, and explore them in right. The other really big lesson that came out of the Rob's story for me was, was this idea of forgiveness. I used to literally keep my boundary so firm that if you if you screwed with me, and you betrayed me, and you pissed me off, that was it, I was going to wipe you I don't forgive. I remember like as a teenagers, and in my early 20s, even mid 20s, even late 20s saying that to people. And it, it served me in staying disconnected. Because what I realized through the ROB thing was that I needed to forgive everybody in that story, for the pain that we all went through. Because nobody sets out to deliberately hurt anybody else. We're just trying to protect ourselves and figure it out and find love and learn and grow, right. And sometimes, you know, what happens when my stuff and your stuff collide, messy things happen, and we get hurt, right? But this is how we learn. And so I learned to really forgive on a really, really deep level. And I also learned to forgive myself. And that was the last thing that came, I really had a hard time with it bringing out the worst in me and being desperate and not wanting to accept that it was over and all the things saying some things that I wished I hadn't said and doing some things I wished I hadn't done, you know, just being less than I would like to be. But that was years later, how could I be more than I was that day, and we don't get a do over, we don't get to go back and change one thing Back to the Future taught us that right? You can't just change the bad stuff and and keep all the good stuff. Every experience gives you the tools for the next experience. And so I want to sit in gratitude for all of it. So I invite you to sit in gratitude for all of your experiences, because they make you who you are. They make you be better. They make you strive, they make you keep dreaming, they make you keep questioning, they make you keep looking. And I really love the definition of forgiveness, that it's letting go of the need for the past to be anything other than what it was. Because if we accept that we're learning, and we're growing, and we're changing all the time, how and that every experience gives us the tools for the next experience, how can we regret anything because it's brought us to this moment, where we get to look and learn and decide what it has to be me is right now. And it has to be me could be everything from I gotta get out of bed, I gotta get going to work, it has to be me to show up on time at nine o'clock. It has to be me that eats a healthy breakfast. So I've got energy at 11 o'clock. It has to be me to show up and and use my voice and ask for what I want in that relationship at work at school, whatever. It has to be me that apologizes, I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it like that. It has to be me that tells that person I love them. It has to be me to get pregnant and have a baby, I want to be a parent, it has to be me to adopt that baby. It has to be me to fight for that job and apply for that job and say put your hands up and go me choose me. It has to be me to leave that relationship, leave that job. Part of it has to be me as recognizing what does not have to be me anymore. And sometimes, well, I don't know about you, but I can get fixated on static goals and one way of doing something and one outcome and one outcome only. And I miss the twists and turns and the changes and that I get to change my mind and change directions right. And sometimes we got to say no to some things that we want went for some things that we want more. And that really with the health and nutrition piece for me, that is why I do what I do. Because if you're not healthy and strong, everything shuts down everything. And so my commitment to myself every day is that I am going to practice self care. And I am going to fuel and nourish my body. With great food, right, I'm also going to nourish my mind and my spirit with positive thoughts and positive actions. I'm going to nourish myself with relationships with amazing people who are on that same path wanting to be the best version of themselves. And sometimes we collide, and we don't get it right in inverted commas, but we figure it out, right. So the other thing, of course, so many lessons again, but the other big thing that happened for me out of that, Rob story is one of the things that Rob and I used to love to do together was that we would just come up with brand names, names for things and ideas for businesses, and we talk it through and we dream big. And we talk about what would happen if we started that company in this company. And it really opened up this entrepreneurship in me. And I remember that Rob's mom had this little stone on her. on her desk, well, it was actually my my, my father in law's desk that said, if the if if if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes. And I really loved that it really spoke to me and my family, except for my grandfather and some other people, my family, but my mum and dad, they were always employees. And so we really had that employee mentality that and my mom and dad, I remember when we used to travel to America, they would come back this is this is you know, 4045 years ago now, there's no self storage in Australia, we should start self storage in Australia, we should start this wishes and we drive around, you know, on our trips to America be and they be talking about it, but they never did it. And they've had a wonderful life. I'm not sure if they would even regret that if you ask me. My dad tells me he has no regrets. I mean, seriously, isn't that amazing? Isn't that a wonderful thing to say? I have no regrets. I've loved my life. And I do what I want. And I have no regrets. Oh, amazing. It's a great model for me, and I hope for you as well.

But but for me, I wanted to be the lead dog, I want to be the lead dog, I want the view to change. And and if you're listening to this saying, Well, I love being an employee, I don't want to be the leader. That's great. So I'm not dissing being the employee at all. Everyone's got their place. But for me, it had to be me to be the entrepreneur, right? So it really made me think about that, like in a really big way. So when I started the blender girl, and that came out of the rubs Three, two, right where I started this blog, because I was out and about in society and, and didn't have to work and was in this this town and I had to do things differently. And so Rob said, Why don't you Why don't you start a blog and just share your relationship with food. Everyone's always asking what you do and what how you cook things and whatever. And so I went, Okay, and so I, I did, and I, cuz I can't do anything by heart, I reverse engineered things. And he taught me that to reverse engineer thinks that the watch determines the house when you map it all out, right. And so very quickly, I realized I was really passionate about my blender and making green smoothies and using my blender to do all these other things. Like I don't just make smoothies with that I make compost and cleaning products, and I make dressings and a component of the recipe, right. And so back then no one was really doing anything besides juices and smoothies. It was all very 1970s and kind of like hippie dippie, whatever. And I wanted to bring it into this really chic, beautiful place. So I researched for over a year what I was going to do. And then I realized it has to be me. And the blender girl was born where I started this website, the blender girl.com still exists today. And I just started blogging. But I didn't want to start my blog just with one blog post. I backdated it for 52 weeks, right and I started with this thing and I I started this blog and in the beginning it was just my mother and my sister body that it was a few friends that it was some strangers and then this thing grew. And I really rode the crest of that trend where juicing and blending you know really trended what was it back in 2010. So, a while ago now. And it kind of snowballed and really opened up so many opportunities for me where if you had told me 25 years ago, you're going to become a blending expert. And you're going to write these these cookbooks and hundreds of 1000s of people are going to buy your cookbooks and millions of people are going to follow you on social media. I literally would have said Uh huh, very buddy. You know, I'm going to be an actor. This is what I'm doing, you know, and I'm still an actor and I'm still a voice actor and I still speak and I still do all of the things but it was another way for me to express myself I often tell stories. So it was a really beautiful time. And then it opened up all of these brand partnerships where I worked with Vitamix and I was the, you know, the spokesperson and ambassador for blenders for KitchenAid for five years, and I worked with Western hotels, and William Sonoma, and Whole Foods and four seasons that I mean, you know, you know, tons of food companies, I mean, it was a really beautiful time where I got to exercise these other muscles in me the strategic muscles where I started. And then I, you know, I'm type A personality, so I bought every blender in the world pretty much. And so just by practicing, and by using these different blenders, and by making these recipes and things, I started to get really good at it, right. So if you're out there, thinking you want to start something going, I don't have what it takes. What do I know like my my friends bone, Elizabeth have this saying that they got from another friend of theirs. Sometimes the best teacher for a third grader is a fourth grader. And so that I really remembered that when, when I sold my cookbooks, and I you know, it was a very exciting time i This is another it has to be a moment, when I was I was turning 40. And I was in LA, or living with my lovely partner, Scott. And my parents flew over for my 40th birthday, of course, and but I was really feeling like a failure. Or I was choosing to see myself as a failure, even though I'd made all this money. And I'd started this website, I was working with all these companies. It was it was it was I was successful by some people's definition. But I still had things to do. And I wasn't sitting in gratitude and holding an imbalance. And I was feeling like a failure. I was and I my I had written a book proposal with my literary agent in New York, and we were sending it out. And the day of my 40th birthday, I sold my books, and well book at the time, but it turned into this multi book deal. And I was so excited. I felt like I it was I got this success. It was so incredible. And my agent called me so it's it's over. It's over. It went into this big sort of bidding war thing and and I got this book deal was amazing. But the minute it happened, I was so excited. birthday present, but then I just went into panic, absolute panic mode. I've just committed the greatest fraud in publishing history, the greatest fraud in publishing history, like, God write a book, what am I doing, I'm not a writer, I'm not even a chef, who am I to write a book with the biggest publishing house in the world? I mean, it was just so crazy. I started to just panic. And my friend, Michelle, again, that I talked about earlier called me to have to wish me happy birthday. And I just said, and I was like hyperventilating. I don't know. And she goes, hang on a second. So you wrote this proposal, just telling your story, right, that you love using your blender. And here's some recipes. And here's what you do with it. You didn't tell them you're a chef, right? I said, No. You didn't tell them that you'd written 100 other books before? And you were the foremost expert in? No. So you just promised to share your journey. Is that right? And I said, Yeah. And she goes, Well, how can you be an imposter? How if that's all that you're going to do? Great. So I think I tell you story. Again, it was such a powerful, it has to be me moment. And so really traveling the world speaking at different things, all of these wonderful things that have happened as the blender girl, it really opened things up. For me. Another thing that happened during that time was that I was still auditioning and not getting things and again, feeling like a failure as an actor. And when that blender girl stuff will happen. I remember my friend Stacy, and one of my best friends. It said to me, well, there's no recasting on this one. You got the pot, babe, it's your part, right? And I've never forgotten that. You decide it has to be me in your own story, right? You decide to take on the role you decide to take on the job you decide to take on the task, right? And I was waiting for someone else to hand it to me instead of just going after it every minute of the day. Right? And so that was that was a big one about taking life by the balls and like really seizing every opportunity and just showing up as me that I am enough, right? If you're if you feel that I'm not enough, then I feel this in my office hours all the time, right? That I I have in my program, this is not enough thing. And so when Oh, yeah, that was a big one, just thinking through this in how to tell you this one. So life was good. Life was good in my 40s. And I was very successful. And I made a lot of money. And I had millions of followers and hundreds of 1000s of people bought my books, as I said. So I really was really in a great place. And so I was at this mastermind in Florida. And I just get this text message from my mother, can you please call me as soon as you get this, I really need to speak to you. And I mean, that's never good. My mother never does that. And so I politely excused myself from this conference room, and I was standing in this bright room with this really ugly carpet was what I was thinking, because I was just hated looking at this carpet. And hi, I said to her, and she goes, and then my dad goes, Hi. And then I, my heart just sank. And I just knew, it was the call, that I had been dreading my entire life, that there was something wrong with one of them. And my dad just said, so mouse, that's what he calls me. I've got cancer. And I mean, I was just winded. And I went, Okay. And he says, prostate cancer, you know, so they say, it's the best one if you if you're a guy of my age, but still, so I'm gonna go into treatment, and I'm gonna be okay. But we just want to tell you. So that was it. I mean, my entire family just rallied around my dad, I kept I remember standing there in this ugly Hotel. That's what it felt like, to me, right? Looking at this ugly carpet. I know, because I couldn't zap myself to Australia, I just stand there in this hotel. That's why it was ugly to me, right.

And we were going to figure this out no matter what. So I flew to Australia, we went to all the appointments with his oncologist, and his endocrinologist and all this stuff. And they came up with a really great treatment plan. And it worked. And, but I thought, you know, I know that food is medicine, I know that there's things that we can do with his food and exercise to support his oncology treatments. And so the doctors were really wonderful, you know, and we were working with science based strategies, or crazy stuff, just eating vegetables, and all this sort of stuff, right. And the treatments were a success, and my dad got better. And he's thriving now. Thankfully. And so my family, the way that love manifests in my family is loyalty. If it happens to one of us, it happens to all of us. And so we all decided that we were going to take this opportunity to really look at what we were doing and get healthier. And interestingly enough, I was starting to not feel so great either because I was at that age where I was in perimenopause, and things just weren't staying where they were, you know, where they should be staying anymore, right. And I wasn't sleeping as well. And I didn't have as much energy. And I was because I was so busy. And, and I wasn't really paying as much attention as I should have been. And so when I really had to pay attention, and that mirror of my dad having cancer got put in front of me, I had to pay attention again. And so it was I took up that invitation, it was an invitation. And I decided to RSVP to that invitation to take better care of myself. And so I developed this eating plan. Based on all my nutrition knowledge, I consulted with some doctors and dieticians. And I came up with this eating plan for Dad, one that I could do, and I sort of tweaked it for my mom and my dad and my sister and my brother in law. And we all just sort of did this thing together. And we all felt better than we had ever felt before. And dad got better. And it was sort of in solidarity, right? But it ended up being a really great thing for all of us. And so I thought wow, if this works for all of us, this might work for other people. And I've been getting 1000s of emails a year asking health questions. What am I good? Well, who am I to answer this? I'm not a dietitian. I'm not a doctor. I'm I'm not qualified to answer any of these. And so, but what is my superpower? I asked this all the time and I want to ask you what your superpowers are. You know that your special gifts that you bring to the world that you can share with others. We all have them. We all have them. And I'll tell you what my nap If it helps you determine what yours are mine, that I attract really incredible, amazing humans. I help people believe that they can do anything. Scott helped me realize that when we are in relationship. And the third thing is I help make healthy foods easy, delicious and fun. I put in amazing flavors together. And I just own that took me a while to own those three things about myself, but I own it now. And my friends and family health helped me see that and people in my skinny 60 program my 60 Day reset the Deccan and detox my health programs helped me see that now. Right. So if you are listening to me and going, I don't know what minor. Ask yourself, why. Why? Why don't you know? Because I think you do. Because you do have things that you have got figured out that you are wonderful that that other people come and drink from you're well. And there's lots of things you don't have figured out just like me, right? But we help each other figure it out. Right? So I want to know what your superpowers are. So go ahead and share it in our free community at it has to be me.com forward slash stories, share your it has to be moments but share your superpowers with me. All right, I want to hear what they are. Even if it's just a promise to yourself to say it out loud right to somebody else. It's really powerful. Because when we, when we embrace change, and we do something new, and we're really terrified by it, being staying anchored to our superpowers helps us hold reality and balance that we're not a hot mess. We don't we're not a failure and everything in our life, right? We got some stuff figured out, we just want to figure out some more stuff, right? So I really decided it has to be me to create a health program that helped people expand into the best parts of themselves without dieting. So going back to what I've been saying this whole time about how every experience gives you the tools for the next experience. Back during my Epstein Barr chapter, I realized that I wasn't interested in dogma or diets, there is no one way blanket way to move through the world with food. And that I wanted to help other people see that too. That diets they buy into the deprivation scarcity mindset, right? That it's about what you take away that you limit you limit things. And that's how you get what you want. And we're conditioned in culture that that's how we lose weight is by dieting, while science tells us it's actually not that way, right? Because starving yourself causes the down regulation of key hormones and you need to regulate your blood sugar for better metabolic function. And you've got to have good gut health and all this stuff. We know that science tells us right? But we still fall prey to the marketing tactics. Right? Of I want to be skinny, I want to be healthy and I'm going to do it by starving myself and by dieting and the diet culture is a multibillion dollar industry right? But bio individuality plays a massive role, right? Like what's going to work exactly for me is not going to be the same thing for you. We've got different genes, different stress levels, different health status, different medications, we're on different health goals, different activity levels, different different everything right different personalities, different climate, different everything. So yes, there's general nutrition parameters, like eat a lot of vegetables, eat fermented foods, eat probiotics, you know, eat, you know, quality protein, healthy plant fats, I mean, all these things we know help us be healthy, but in and around those parameters inside shading, our coloring book, the balance of those things is going to be different. And that's where the strategy comes in. Right? So I just decided after that story with my dad and with me, I just was thriving in perimenopause and, and early menopause now, where I don't have any symptoms, I feel like I'm in my 20s. And I wanted to help other women do the same thing, right. But I wanted to stick in my zone. So I knew that I wasn't a medical practitioner. And I didn't want to be another influencer that that was hanging a shingle going, I know what to do. I wanted people to have credible information. So I teamed up with with a group of doctors and dieticians. They're the medical practitioners that are the experts in food, right. And so I really had to run everything past it to know that this was credible and science based, you know, and then, and then I did that it was great. And so I created this entire program, skinny 60. We have a 60 day reset that we lead four times a year and it has been the deepest, most beautiful well for me, and for 1000s of people around the world. So I started with a beta group of 60 testers and they got the most incredible results. You know, people regulating their agency levels to normal in 60 days, you know, lowering your blood pressure and cholesterol, getting all their numbers losing all this weight, reducing inflammation, reducing aches and pains, better mood stability, sleeping through the night having tons of energy, I mean, glowing skin losing their hot flashes and night sweats and all this stuff, right. But really, what I've realized is that the program is about empowerment. And food for me, is a portal into the discoverability of what makes us tick. So for me, it is very much how I make sense of the world is through food and nutrition and stories. That's how the world makes sense to me. So I want to know how it makes sense to you. So a scientist, if you're a scientist, you might tell me Well, when I look under a microscope, and I look at a bunch of cells, the world makes sense to me, because I know that we're a bunch of cells, right? You know, if you're an engineer, when you're pulling something apart, you know, these, these parts go together. And I know that this clicks into this. And this is how I make sense of what I make sense of the world through stories, and through food and nutrition. Because what I've realized through my coaching, is that the way that you choose to nourish yourself or not, is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself in the rest of your life. It is tied to what you believe about yourself, do you believe that you deserve to nourish yourself with the very best and that you want to show up and be seen? Or are you using food to comfort placate and hide as an instrument of torture and instrument of abuse? Right? What are you addicted to?

I am addicted to feeling great, and to sucking the marrow out of life and showing up and being the strongest best version of myself. So how do you show up. And one of the ways what I love about food is that we have to eat every day, unless we're fasting, right? But we typically we eat every day we eat and drink all day, every day, right? So the food choices that we make, we get to exercise the muscles of it has to be made about choosing me the best version of myself choosing to practice love choosing to practice self care, we get to exercise those muscles. And it trains us to exercise those muscles in other parts of our life, right? Choosing to show up as the strong, healthy, amazing version of ourselves, right. And so it's been a really incredible lesson for me, speaking to these people, and that I always thought getting better was about the information. Well, gosh, I mean, we've all there's so much information out there, right? If information was all we needed to get what we wanted, we could all Google our way to getting what we want. It's really about deciding that you want it and figuring out what you want, it has to be me. Then arming yourself and resourcing yourself with credible information, right. But then it support choosing who you're going to have on your team and who's going to support you in seeing the things that maybe you're you need to look at, in staying accountable in helping you implement things along the way that are going to help you get there. And so that's what's thrilling for me as a coach is that I help people get there. I love helping people expand into the better parts of themselves. But by extension, while I'm in honest conversation with people in my programs, it puts mirrors up to me as well, which is what we're all doing with each other. Right? Like, I want to walk the talk, right and, and we're all teachers, we're all teachers. So just as I hang my shiny lantern, and I hold space, in the video calls in my program, my health programs at the decadent detox all skinny 60, right. But in skinny 60 to 60 day resets, I've got 60 days to touch people and there's you know, hundreds of people in every cycle. And we have these office hours every Thursday. We have these office hours and people just come and go ask any questions and people get real, we get real and people show up and they tell the truth about their lives. And it helps everybody else. See the truth about their life, myself included. It is a glorious gift. It is my favorite three hours of the week, every week truly. So when it came time when I decided it has to be me to do a podcast. Gosh, I mean, I've wanted to do a podcast since podcasts began. I mean, I just love talking to people. I love listening to podcasts. Gosh, there's some great podcasts out there right now, what's my podcast going to be about? It's gonna be all about nutrition, about stories about films am I going to wax poetic about you know, my favorite movies or something about blending? You know, nothing was really grabbing me, it wasn't my it has to be me moment it wasn't quite right. And then all of a sudden, it just hit me on a Thursday in November of 2023. It has to be me. And it was born out of those office hours, I hung up. And, you know, every week, I will get beautiful messages from people in our program, saying, you know, I, I just love those office hours so much, because it helps me understand myself, it helps me know, I'm not alone, it helps me know that other people are struggling with the same things I'm struggling with. But how do you know what to say to every person like that It's so unbelievable. Like, you just know what to say to us, so that we can get out of our own way and go after it, you know. And I thought about it. And what I realized was that, when you're strong and healthy, the downloads come really quickly they come and you can, you can hear and you can listen and you can feel things because there isn't veils, the veils that white flour and sugar and processed foods put on your life, they mute and they dull your experience. Like we just know that right? So when you're healthy and strong, you're just this open vessel, and you can really listen to the signs in your body and your intuition. And going back to what I was saying, at the beginning of my mouth, my mum and dad teaching me to just keep asking questions, and just keep listening. That's all I do in those office hours. I listen. And I ask questions. And I listen to myself, and I trust my intuition. I just trust it. And then I just speak what comes to me. That's it. And I encourage you all to do the same thing, I encourage you to do the same thing. Trust that you know what has to be me. Trust that you know what you want. I think it just starts with permission, permission that you are enough exactly how you are today just show up with your truth. And just decide it has to be me. And so when I think about my life, as I said in the beginning, it is just a collection of it has to be me. Right. And what I'm choosing to learn from those, it has to be me moment. So again, I want to hear what you're learning from your it has to be me moments, it will actually help me make sense of my life and the other people in the community. And hopefully by telling your story, help you make sense of yours. Share your stories with others, share yourself, your whole self, allow yourself to be seen, and shoes to be seen to be connected to yourself and others. So this podcast is a love letter to the people in my 60 Day reset and to you. Because you know we're not meant to do this thing called life on our own when we're meant to do it together. And we're meant to put all of our our superpowers into the pot and stir it around and get messy together and learn and grow. So thank you for listening to my it has to be me moments and going on this journey with me today. Again, I want to hear what yours are, I really do so go to what has to be me.com forward slash stories and share them in our community. You know, one of the one of the things that has often got in the way sometimes of me recognizing me, it has to be me moments of deciding I'm going to take action on them is this idea that I'm not enough, or I'm too much, right? Or this fear of failing, this fear of failing. And so my favorite quote in the world, and that's what I'm going to leave you with today is the Nelson Mandela quote, what an extraordinary human he was. But my favorite one of my favorite quotes is, I never lose. I either win, or I learn what a beautiful way to move through the world. What if you went through the world, believing that you couldn't lose? There was only winning and learning, winning and learning. So then you can't fail? There is no failure. There's only winning and learning, right? Even if it might be painful, even if it's scary, even if it's terrifying. I mean really fear and excitement activating the same place in the body, right? It's just the expectation of the outcome with fear we, you know, you believe the outcomes going to be negative or bad, or destroy you. With excitement you believe you choose to believe that the outcome is going to be good, and it's going to be good for you. Well, we're gonna go with Nelson Mandela, it's always for you. And eventually it's always going to be good for you. So just go with your it has to be me, go with it, and listen to other people's it has to be me and decide that you're going to participate, you know? Yeah, I'm going to leave you with that today. So join me next week. In a talk about more of it has to be me so we can, we can. We can take action on it more often. Life's just more fun when we go after what we want. Alright. I'll see you then.