Unhealthy passive – aggressive relationships nearly always keep us on an emotional jag or worse yet a destructive binge. In many instances we shall find that though the harm done to others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done to ourselves has. Toby C. takes time to help define the word "harm" in a practical way, in a way “we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people”. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink.