Overthinking isn’t your personality; it’s protection.

In this episode, Yaya breaks down what self-trust actually looks like, why so many women lose it, and how to rebuild it without forcing confidence.

If you’ve been second-guessing yourself, asking everyone else what to do, or ignoring your intuition because it feels inconvenient, this note is for you.

Self-trust isn’t about always being right.

It’s about staying with yourself, even when things feel unclear.

Inside this episode:

1. What lack of self-trust really looks like
2. Why overthinking feels safer than listening to yourself
3. The truth about women’s intuition
4. How denial keeps you stuck
5. A grounding reflective exercise
6. Small, practical ways to rebuild self-trust
7. A gentle reminder that you didn’t lose your intuition, you just stopped listening

Make sure you’re subscribed; the next few episodes round out this self-love conversation in a powerful way.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

And don’t forget to subscribe to Notes to Her so you don’t miss the next pep talk.

Looking for additional resources? Start with the Confidence Kit, your go-to for breaking the spiral, rebuilding self-trust, and moving forward with clarity. 🔗 Link

If you're ready to stop figuring this out alone? Apply to work with me here.

Hey, girl.

Hey.

Welcome back to Notes to Her the daily pep talk.

I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach, here to help you slow down, come back to yourself, and move with more trust instead of fear.

This note is for the woman who used to trust herself, but somewhere along the way, she started second guessing everything.

The one who replays decisions in her head, who asks everyone else's opinion before listening to her own, who knows what she feels but talks herself out of it.

If that sounds like you, take a breath with me, because you did lose your ability to trust yourself.

You just stop listening.

Now.

Before we even talk about rebuilding trust, let's talk about what it looks like when it's missing.

Lack of self trust looks like texting your friend, what do you think I should do?

Even though you already know what you want to do, it looks like sitting in your car after a conversation thinking, why did I say that?

It looks like googling, polling, asking, researching, but still feeling unsettled.

It looks like you ignoring that knot in your stomach.

It looks like you staying because you don't want to start over.

It looks like you convincing yourself.

Maybe I'm just overthinking.

And after a while, you start believing that something is wrong with you.

But can I offer you something softer?

You weren't born disconnected from yourself.

There was a time that you felt something and you trusted it.

You wanted something and you said it.

Self trust didn't disappear.

It just got quiet.

It got drowned out by outside opinions.

By being told you were dramatic, by being told you were wrong.

By being made to feel like your instincts were inconvenient.

So you adopted.

You started overriding yourself.

And the more you practice not listening, the harder it became to hear yourself.

That doesn't make you incapable.

It just means that you're surviving.

Now.

Overthinking isn't a flaw.

Trust me.

I say this as a recovering, sometimes still overthinker.

Overthinking feels productive.

It feels like you're responsible.

It feels like you're preventing future pain.

Because when you've been hurt before, or you trusted somebody who disappointed you or made a decision that didn't go how you hoped, your nervous system says, okay, let's not do that again.

You replay, you analyze, you look for certainty.

But overthinking doesn't actually protect you.

It keeps you in your head long enough to talk yourself out of your intuition and intuition.

It doesn't argue.

It doesn't write essays.

It doesn't defend itself.

It whispers.

It shows up as tension or relief or that subtle shift in your chest.

But if you're constantly trying to logic your way to safety, you'll miss it.

Now I really want you to hear me when I say this.

Your intuition is rarely wrong.

What usually happens is this.

It speaks.

And then your fear speaks louder.

You want to think better of someone.

You don't want to believe that it's that bad.

You tell yourself you're overreacting.

You tell yourself, give it another chance.

Sometimes it's not that we don't hear our intuition.

It's that listening would require a hard decision.

Leaving, confronting, admitting something isn't what we hoped.

So we choose comfort over clarity.

And later, when everything unravels, we say, I knew it.

Yes you did.

And you can start listening again.

Self trust isn't always about being right.

It's about staying with yourself even when you're wrong.

It's a same.

I may not get this perfect, but I won't turn on myself afterward.

That's the part that nobody talks about.

If every decision is followed by self criticism, your nervous system learns that choosing isn't safe.

So of course you hesitate.

Self trust grows when you stop treating mistakes like proof that you are incapable.

Instead you say, that didn't go how I wanted, but I still got me.

That's power.

Now I want you to pause here for a moment.

If you're somewhere safe, let your shoulders relax, unclench that jaw and take a breath.

Now ask yourself this without judgment.

What have I been overthinking lately?

Don't solve it.

Don't analyze it.

Just notice.

And then ask, what do I already know about this even if I don't want to admit it?

Pay attention to your body.

Does it tighten?

Does something soften?

Does your chest feel heavy or lighter?

That's information your intuition doesn't shout out, it whispers.

And it's been trying to guide you this whole time.

Rebuilding self trust doesn't start with big life changing decisions.

It starts small.

Keeping promises to rest when you're tired.

Honoring your no listening when something feels off.

Stopping yourself mid spiral and asking what do I need right now?

Every time you follow through on a small commitment to yourself, you send a message.

I can trust me.

And that message matters because the more you prove to yourself that you'll listen, the less you'll need reassurance from everyone else.

Self trust is built in the follow through, not perfection.

Now here's something grounding.

You don't need certainty to trust yourself.

You just need presence.

You are allowed to say, I don't know it yet.

But I'm going to figure it out.

You are allowed to change your mind.

You are allowed to pause.

You are allowed to take time.

Trust isn't rushing, it's patience.

And the more regulated your nervous system is, the easier it becomes to hear your intuition clearly.

That's why rest, boundaries and self care aren't extras.

They're the foundation.

So if you've been feeling unsure, hesitant, stuck between what you think you should do and what you feel, you are not alone.

Even I go through this sometimes.

You are not broken.

You're not bad at decisions.

You're not disconnected from yourself.

You just need to learn how to listen again.

And that takes practice, it takes support, and it takes space.

So make sure you're subscribed because the next few episodes are going to round out this self love conversation in a powerful way.

We're talking about being mean to yourself, where self hatred comes from, forgiveness and my favorite, boundaries.

For now, start small, check, ebb.

Listen.

Honor what you hear.

Your intuition has been with you this whole time.

And I promise you, the more that you trust yourself, the quieter overthinking becomes.

You've got this.