In today's episode, we dive into the fascinating journey of Lou Fortun, a seasoned executive who showcases the power of authenticity and leadership.

From his humble beginnings in Nebraska to his current life in California, Lou shares how he navigated the complexities of being a minority in his school years, facing bullying, and ultimately finding strength in vulnerability.

This episode highlights the importance of confronting one's fears, the evolution of personal identity, and the impact of faith on personal growth.

Lou reflects on how his experiences shaped his outlook on life, emphasizing the need for compassion and courage in leadership roles. He discusses the challenges of balancing personal and professional lives while staying true to one's core values, illustrating how his relationship with God has played a pivotal role in this journey.

Throughout the discussion, listeners are encouraged to embrace their unique paths, confront their challenges, and lead with integrity and kindness, making this episode a valuable resource for anyone seeking inspiration in their personal or professional lives.

Takeaways:

• Lou shared his journey of overcoming personal challenges, highlighting the importance of vulnerability in building meaningful relationships and trust.
• The conversation emphasized the significance of faith and how it can reshape one's identity and purpose, particularly in times of crisis or change.
• We explored the idea of being a warrior in life, balancing strength with compassion, and knowing when to fight and when to let go.
• The episode revealed how past experiences, particularly difficult ones, can lead to profound personal growth and deeper connections with others.
• Lou's story illustrates that true leadership involves serving and uplifting others, embodying grace and humility in all situations.

Links referenced in this episode:

• www.besitosbeauty.com
• breakthroughradio.net
• praxis33.com

You can connect with Lu on his social media accounts:

FB: https://www.facebook.com/luey42n

Instagram: @luey42n

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/luis-fortun

A Warrior’s Spirit can be found on all the major platforms at lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33 as well as on ROKU via the ProsperaTV Network app. Be sure to like or subscribe so you never miss an episode!

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

Coming up on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

She has challenged me to say, dad, would you ever do something creative without it producing something?

Like, I, she, I'm famous.

And she'll tell you this, I'm famous for her creating something beautiful.

She just got into leather working, right?

So she makes wallets and journals and whatever.

And my brain goes immediately to, oh, how could we sell this?

And she's like, can I just create it?

To create it?

Like, do we have to make a business out of this?

And it challenges me.

And that was really the start of allowing the Lord to break down this Persona, this foundation that was built upon my will, my striving, my performance, and kind of redefine all that for me.

A Warrior Spirit provides a platform for independent voices, professionals, and thought leaders to share their insights, experiences, and perspectives.

The views and opinions expressed by hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Praxis 33 or its affiliates.

Content shared within this program is intended for informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only.

While the host and some guests may be professionals or subject matter experts, the information presented is general in nature and should not replace personalized advice from qualified professionals regarding your individual circumstances.

By viewing this program, you acknowledge that any decisions or actions taken based on the content are your own responsibility.

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence found in the flame now we're my battle cry without shame this isn't the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire within welcome.

Back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Daryl Snow.

Let's dive in.

In today's society, we are in a lot of groups and a lot of different things online if you do any part of social media.

And my guest today was someone that I met in one of those groups and he's a 30 year executive in the tech industry.

But what I found fascinating about him was that in our particular group, when he had no reason to, he showed up as a leader and he showed up authentically there to help others.

And that kind of spirit is people that I want in my circle.

And I'm just so grateful that Lou Fortran has joined me today.

And Lou, I Appreciate you coming on the show and thank you for doing this.

Absolutely, Darrell, thanks.

I'm super honored to be asked and humbled in the best way.

First podcast, so this will be fun or first broadcast like this.

But I talk a lot for a living, so I'm used to doing these kind of conversations all the time.

Well, it's, it's always interesting when, when people come on, you know, sometimes they'll say, well, what are we going to talk about?

You know, if they've never done this before?

And I'm like, well, it's your life.

You shouldn't have to study for it.

Like, you should pretty much have an idea of, of what that is.

So I know you're today in California.

Is that where you grew up or where are you from?

No, I had a circuitous route to get here.

I was actually born in San Diego, California.

Beautiful place on the planet.

My parents chose to move me when I was too young to argue and we lived in Nebraska, of all places, Omaha, Nebraska.

Spent the vast majority of my life in Nebraska until the fall of 22 and chose to move to Northern California.

So that's a really long, long and drawn out story on how that path got there.

But we've been in California now.

It'll be our fifth year, starting in August and getting used to the California lifestyle now.

Why?

The reason I chuckled is because I grew up in Iowa.

Okay, all right.

Midwest guy, you know.

Yeah, Midwest guy in corn country.

I know Nebraska pretty well.

I, I, whenever I'm driving through it, I try to drive through it at night because it's flat and nothing there.

That's true.

But what I also know about California or Nebraska is there's not many people of color, so you must have been a minority wherever you went to high school.

And yeah, yeah, it was, I think in my, I went to a private boys Catholic high school place called Creighton Prep.

Great school.

My parents thought it was important to have a Catholic high school education.

I think in my graduating class of 240 some odd, I want to say there was six, I think six people of color, whether Asian like myself, whether they're African American.

I think we had a couple of Latinos in that class as well.

So very small percentage of that class.

Does that make it more difficult for you or was it because it was in a Catholic school, make it easier for you?

Wow, great question.

You're digging me some memories here, Darrell.

Honestly, my freshman year was extremely difficult.

Not only did I was I a minority coming in, but was raised in the States.

My parents were very upfront about raising us as American as possible.

So I'm Filipino by heritage, but never learned the language outside of kind of picking up words here and there.

My parents didn't really infuse that in us.

So when I got to my high school, I actually transitioned from public school.

And so I think I knew two people out of a school of about a thousand students that were there, and it was all boys, so very, very different culture and what have you.

So I entered that high school kind of not knowing what I was doing and trying to find a place to fit in, and was dealing with a lot of prejudice, a lot of hazing, a lot of bullying because I was Asian.

And that was a pretty difficult first half of that year.

And then we had a freshman retreat, which.

That's kind of good Catholic things that he retreats every year.

And I just kind of get this righteous indignation rose up at me on this open mic night.

We had, what, 85 of us in this gymnasium sleeping in sleeping bags.

And I picked up the microphone and just kind of gave these guys what for and said, hey, I came here looking to make friends, and you guys have ostracized and bullied and did all these things and, you know, physical things, you know, shoved into lockers, lunches, stolen, kind of that whole thing, and kind of just laid it all, all out there.

I thought, I better.

I'll take a shot now and see, and either this will set me up for the rest of my high school career, or this will be where I move to another high school.

But I did.

And the next morning, it was like the world shifted.

And I think just taking that step of standing up for myself, not in a defiant way, but more in understanding my value and who I was really shifted guys approach.

And by the time I graduated, made friends with even the guys who bullied me in the hallway.

So it was kind of a cool redemption story.

Yeah.

I moved to Iowa when I was 9, going on 10.

And I. I grew up the previous time in the streets of Minneapolis.

So it was very.

I mean, I carried a knife to kindergarten.

So it was a very different.

Yeah, dichotomy going to, you know, this multi diversity, scary schools to, you know, melbatoast white Midwest, you know, but because I was smaller, all these farm kids were bigger, you know, and so I got the same bullying because they were smaller.

I. I mean, I was smaller.

Right.

So every year.

Every year I had to fight at least once.

Wow.

And not because I wanted to, but because for survival.

I had to.

Right.

And what these kids never seem to understand is that there's a difference.

Fighting as the bully, thinking you're bigger and tougher.

And there's a difference.

Fighting from survival and crazy.

I honestly can say I only lost one fight in that entire.

From 4th grade till almost college because I fought crazy.

I fought for survival.

Right.

And, you know, but they always wanted to try every.

Every year, you know, big and bad.

Yeah.

It's interesting what conviction and desperation will do to somebody.

Right?

Yeah.

Desperation being the primary driver for both of us, quite frankly.

My.

My experience was one where I knew if I didn't do this now, I don't know if I could forgive myself and just exist for four years and keep my head down.

Right.

And knew that here's the other thing, too, is that you had no guarantees.

Like, your situation sounds like you had to continue to fight and scrap and be your own advocate.

For me, it was like I didn't know what was going to happen at this retreat.

Didn't know if people were going to think I was crazy or accept me or if it was going to shift anything.

I just knew I couldn't stay silent any longer, longer.

And that was really what drove me to do that.

And I think that was probably the first time where I was kind of a.

It was a struggle.

It was this.

This.

This point of, am I gonna.

Am I just gonna fold camp and kind of just be this meek guy in the corner and just figure out a way to get through it, or am I gonna fight?

And I guess that I've always been a very competitive person, but never had to exercise it.

Like, sports is one thing.

Like, you play sports.

And I like to win.

I like to win at board games.

My family hates playing board games with me because I always want to win.

But in that scenario, that was one of the first times where externally I realized I had to fight for something and had to see what was in me and with no guarantee of the outcome.

Right.

Which I think that's.

When you get to that place, what do they say, like, the pain has to be greater changing than staying the same.

That's really what happened in that.

In that situation.

So what was your.

What was it like at home?

Because to stand up for yourself, rolling that dice and taking the gamble, you either go home a hero or with punishment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that is true.

So, like.

Like my.

My parents always said, never start the fight, but finish it.

Interesting.

Yeah.

So.

So, you know, if I would have been the one to start the fights, I Would have really had worse at home.

Right.

But I better not, like, just stand there and take it either.

So.

Yeah.

What was yours like?

That's a great question.

Like, you know, we.

We grew up in a very suburban, Midwest white neighborhood, and I think we were the.

We were the only minorities on the street.

I gotta think back now.

I think we were in the entire neighborhood and, you know, to kind of talk about, like, family dynamic and kind of culture in the home.

I mentioned earlier, my parents wanted us to be raised as American as possible.

And so we spoke only English in the house.

Didn't really do a lot of traditions.

A lot of my cousins who moved to Nebraska after we were there, they continued to do in terms of, you know, traditional things, but we didn't.

And I think the.

Those types of.

Those types of conversations didn't really happen in my house.

Like, and this is maybe an over categorization, but it's what I grew up in.

Like, Filipino culture generally is very matriarchal in nature.

The moms and the grandmas rule the roost.

And most of the examples of the men that I saw, at least in my family, were either super passive, just the crazy, funny uncle who did stupid stuff, or they were kind of the butt of the Joe.

I don't recall there being a strong male role model in my entire childhood.

And I love my family, but just kind of talking about what you observe and what you pick up and this whole nature versus nurture and how you grow up.

So my dad never talked about these things.

I don't think we ever had a conversation about that.

So he honestly, again, long backstory on his life, but he didn't really have that father figure either.

And so he didn't know how to instill what it meant to be a man into my brother and I.

And so we kind of had to figure it out as we went.

And you do.

Like, again, either a desperation or need, you kind of figure it out.

Is it always healthy?

No.

Do you look back with regret?

Absolutely.

But in the absence of a voice to really speak into that, you either, again, you either have to choose to make your own way, or you just become another passive guy who sits on the sideline.

And I think inside of me, that just didn't sit well.

And so that's when I just started to.

To kind of make my own way, learn things on my own, find role models, not always great ones, but try to pattern my life after what I thought, what a man was supposed to be and how they're supposed to act.

I Try to think if I had got into a fight and came home, maybe as a child, but nothing like in high school or what have you.

But even bringing up some of these painful experiences, it was sort of.

We didn't talk about it.

My mom and I did.

She was very, very kind and very compassionate, but my dad and I never did.

And so you're kind of left with this void to figure it out on your own.

And that's kind of how I learned to live through all that.

Did the church play any role in helping your guidance?

Because there's something innately within you that said, I'm not taking this anymore and I'm in front of these 85 kids gonna pick up this microphone and declare myself as worthy and not worthy of your bullshit.

I am more than that.

And so, you know, was there anything that the church did that helped with that or was it mostly innately in you?

So, you know, your question about did the church play a role?

I alluded to it earlier.

I went to a Jesuit Catholic boys high school because like every great normal Filipino, you're Catholic by tradition, kind of by family.

Family selection, right.

So I grew up in the church and did all the masses and did all the confirmation, went to, I was at a public school, so I did, you know, the once a week CCD classes at night and kind of learned about the Catholic faith.

But even then, you know, there was always something wanting.

By the time I got to high school, I had again, like most, most people who grew up in Catholic church, I could say Mass.

I could probably say 90% of the mass today by rote memory, although they changed some things recently.

So it threw me off when I went to a Catholic Mass, but that's fine.

And it really became a situation where the Catholic faith, the expression of the Catholic faith became irrelevant to me, became an experience that I was used to.

I kind of knew what to expect, but there wasn't anything in there that I felt was adding to my life.

It didn't mean I didn't believe in God though.

It didn't mean that I didn't have a spiritual dynamic.

I just couldn't find it in the Catholic Church.

And again, this is my personal experience, so this isn't a commentary on the Catholic Church at large, just what I, what I experienced growing up.

My mom was very much, you know, a prayer warrior and was always praying for us and for all kinds of different situations.

But the church really didn't speak.

I couldn't find applicability.

I couldn't find a way to take what was spoken in the 10 or 15 minute homily on a Sunday and apply it to my life.

It really wasn't a personal walk.

It was sort of this thing you did on Sundays and then you got to go out to eat.

Right?

That's kind of the experience we had.

When I got to high school, I started to become a little bit more interested on the one hand and less interested on the other.

Where it was interesting for me was when we started to do small groups and I could meet with my peers.

And we had a priest who was meeting with us once a week and kind of asking us questions and bringing up scripture and reading books.

So that aspect of my faith was very interesting to me because it was a dynamic I'd never experienced before.

But Sunday services, High Holy Days, all the different things you did was sort of like, you know, not interested.

There was a time I think I was maybe a sophomore, maybe a sophomore in high school.

I went to my mom, who was the more active in the faith, and my dad.

My dad went to church, but it wasn't talked about.

We never read the Bible.

We didn't do anything at home.

And I kind of said, hey, mom, you know, I. I'll still go to church.

Again, High Holy Days, I don't see any Christian Christmas and Easter and I'll go with you.

I said, but honestly, the Catholic faith really doesn't have any.

Hold any water.

So I'm kind of.

I'm kind of done.

And that's kind of how I finished up my.

My high school life was going to church when I needed to, when it felt like I had to, but from a deepening of faith and spiritual walk really wasn't there.

And that's.

That kind of led me into college, which, you know, that's.

That's an interesting time when you don't have a Jesuit priest holding a rod over your shoulder saying, get your work done now I get to do whatever I want to or not.

And that wasn't great for me.

I call myself a reformed Catholic because my mom's side was devout Catholicism.

And then when she married my father, my stepdad.

But my father, their side of the family was evangelical, so I would go to Mass on Saturdays and church on Sundays.

Wow.

I was probably 12, 11 when I decided that Catholicism wasn't for me.

And I say this on other shows.

People have heard me say I felt it was more like gymnastics.

Up, down, Neoprey, up, down, Neil, pray.

And there wasn't a lot of room for relationships with God.

And I find more connection sitting on a beach, watching the waves, or walking mountains, looking at nature, or just here in Arizona, the beautiful Arizona sunsets.

I find more connection with God in those moments than I ever did sitting in a pew listening to some guy read out of a little pamphlet.

Not even the Bible, just a little pamphlet with highlighted scripture version, like the Reader's Digest version of the Bible.

Cliff Notes version.

Yeah, yeah, Cliff Notes version.

And so, you know.

But the connection that I was seeking with God is what carried me through my life.

And it sounds like it helped carry through yours as well.

But when we get to that point, because, again, this is my humble opinion.

Your humble opinion.

Catholicism is a religion based on fear.

And if you do this, you're going to get this punishment.

If you do that, you're going to get that punishment.

So when that fear is removed and we're on our own, well, now we are like, you know, freedom.

I can do what I want.

I can go where I want.

And that, as you said, doesn't always turn out well.

So where did you go to college?

I went to the University of Nebraska at Omaha.

So it was part of the university system, but it's mostly a commuter campus.

They didn't have dorms back in those days.

Everybody drove and went to school on campus.

And that was in, what, the fall of 87.

So to date myself a little bit.

So that was.

Yeah.

So I started going to school, was a pretty good student in high school and got a scholarship my freshman year at Unlike.

And quickly lost that scholarship my sophomore year because, again, I was given too much freedom, not enough consequence, and so just kind of.

I was kind of done with school, to be honest with you.

It's kind of a weird thing where you're a pretty good student, but then you're like, I think I'm done with school.

Like, it's not really doing anything for me.

So I lost my scholarship and my parents, you know, blessed us by helping to pay for it.

It wasn't, you know, extremely expensive, but they had four kids, right.

So I took, you know, I took a year off and.

Because the university said, you can't come back until you figure this out and pick a major, which is the other thing.

Pick a major?

Yeah.

There's actually a really important part of.

Part of my life.

There's an experience I had back in college.

I think I mentioned, you know, my dad wasn't super active emotionally and very.

He's kind.

Worked hard, but just wasn't.

Didn't have a voice, didn't really speak into my.

Our.

Our kids.

There are four of us kids.

And I was in.

In school my freshman year, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

And I started taking art classes.

I took art classes in high school, was a pretty good artist, creative.

That's kind of how my brain works.

And went to my dad and I said, hey, dad, I think I'm gonna do this.

I wanna major in art, fine art, paint, sculpt, whatever the case may be.

And interesting side note, my dad is one of the most amazing artists I've ever seen.

He paints and draws beautifully just out of rote memory.

It's incredible.

I always looked up to him for that because he had this skill, this gift.

And I went to him one day and I said, hey, dad, I think I want to do this art thing.

And my dad said, not in a condescending or in a demeaning way, he said, oh, well, I tried.

That didn't work out for me.

And in my brain I went, oh, the best artist I know couldn't make that work.

I probably shouldn't do art then.

As the days of Wall Street, Gordon Gekko.

Make a bunch of money, be successful.

And so I pivoted, went to finance, business in general.

But I got my degree in finance because it was the most well rounded one I could see.

And that kind of started me on a trajectory of that road of kind of giving up art, except in my free time.

But that waned over the years and really focused on business and started to learn more about that and got my degree and then went straight into the workforce.

Kind of what you did as a Gen X kid, right?

You started to work and you tried to find a career.

So that is interesting.

It was a formative time when that experience with my dad, I don't blame him for that, but I do know that it was a fork in the road.

Who knows, if I'd have taken that road, what would have happened?

Maybe I would have ended up in the same place.

But I do know the motivation to not take that riskier kind of dream, passion, passion approach to life was definitely made that that year in college.

That's an interesting fork in your journey, and I want to explore it more.

But first we're going to take a commercial break and then we're going to come right back.

Awesome.

Thanks, Louis.

The queens standing tall and proud in a world full of colors, Let your voice be loud, but see of beauty where the fire, the light empowered, unstoppable, ready to ignite.

Grab your shades, it's time for the glow.

Confidence in color.

Let the whole world know.

Besitos beauty because it's your time to shine.

For more information, visit www.besitosbeauty.com.

10 Years ago.

10 Years ago, and had this.

This, you know, typical art portfolio folder sitting in the corner of my office.

She goes, what's in there?

I go, just on my old, old artwork.

She's like, you used to do art?

And I go, yeah.

And she opened it up and just.

She was blown away.

She goes, dad, why are you not doing this now?

And I said, well, you know, I had kids, and I have a mortgage and I have a job and, you know, other priorities and what have you.

And.

And she gave me as a gift.

I think she was about 12 or 13.

She gave me a gift, a little sketchbook, basically, as a encouragement and a challenge, like, don't let this die.

To be honest, Darrell, that little sketchbook has sat on my bookshelf for 10 years now.

Having said that, we just started family craft night on Wednesdays because she loves crafting.

It's.

I think she gets that from.

From me.

And so I've picked up little bits and pieces here and there, but never to the degree that I used to do it.

Like, I would spend hours working on a piece, you know, in my bedroom on the floor, just, you know, with a marker and pencil and.

And would draw that.

But I think, you know, I. I know the Lord created.

Created me as a creator because that's who he is.

So that's who I am.

That's who we all are, whether you want to admit not.

And I think creativity has always found a way to express itself, maybe, though not in the traditional sense that I was used to doing it, which would have been pen and paper, paintbrush and canvas.

I do woodworking now.

I do 3D printing because I can make things.

But I think what I realized, and again, my daughter, I love her.

She has challenged me to say, dad, would you ever do something creative without it producing something?

Like, I.

She.

I'm famous.

And she'll tell you this.

I'm famous for her creating something beautiful.

She just got into leather working, right?

So she makes wallets and journals and whatever.

And my brain goes immediately to, oh, how could we sell this?

And she's like, can I just create it?

To create it?

Like, do we have to make a business out of this?

And it challenges me because I'm trying to equate the time and energy spent into making something and going, well, we should at least get something for that.

It should be a return.

That's your business brain.

It really is.

It really is.

Yeah.

But.

But I. I think that she, you know, your daughter, I believe, is onto something.

I think.

Yeah.

That creating something just to create soothes a part of our soul because it brings us joy to one of the.

It brings us joy to bring that forth.

And one of the things I see a lot of quote unquote entrepreneurs do that I think is a mistake is they turn their hobby into a business and.

And then because they.

Trying to run a business, they lose their passion for their hobby and then their business fails for sure.

Yeah.

You know, do what you love to do, and if it becomes a business, great, but don't force it into a business.

Right.

You know, in spite of that.

So I can understand what you're.

You know, I play.

I play drums and music and, you know, I'm not great at it.

I would never turn it into a business, you know, but.

But just playing the.

The thumb drum and the, you know, it soothes the soul to.

We're so filled with noise in our world that.

That a creative outlet.

You know, some people write just to write, some people paint just to paint.

Right.

And I think.

I think they make the mistake of, oh, somebody tells them, oh, you're really good at this, so you should sell it.

And then they don't have that business sense.

So then they lose interest in what was passion and joy.

And, you know, I think your daughter's onto something a lot.

But you talk about your faith a lot.

And, you know, your spiritual connection with God is obviously still there.

Right.

How has that allowed you to be a better leader and a better partner and a better father?

Because I would say you said something early on in our conversation that by ethnic.

Ethnic background or by culture, you know, Filipino men are a little more passive and a little more.

It's a matriarchal society.

You know, when you say that, I think of the movie Crazy Rich Asians and.

Yeah.

You know, but you don't embody that, in my opinion.

You embody forwardness and being out front and being a bigger presence in your children's lives than you were and you.

That your father was in yours.

Yeah.

So do you relate that to your spiritual connection with God or where do you get it innately?

It's a path for me to walk out to understand what was the motivation?

Like, why Did I turn out so differently?

I think part of it is being first generation American, being born here and that dynamic.

I think part of it was that.

I think part of it, just to be 100% honest, I witnessed male role models and I. I would look at them and again, this is probably part of the nature, part of how I was created.

I'm look.

I look at them and go, well, I don't want that.

Like, I don't want to be that guy.

And so I think judgment, I think making vows like I'm never going to be or I'm going to, you know, all these things I think drove a lot of why I did what I did or why I changed or evolved over time.

And I would say that looking back, that, that evolution, that change of thinking and in some ways helped a lot and in some ways put a lot of really bad thinking into my head.

And I think it actually ties back to what you just talked about, right?

About not being able to.

To turn off the production and achievement part of my brain and just be.

And so, you know, for me, it was.

It was really.

The Lord was so kind in allowing me to be successful to a degree.

And then the foundations were starting to crack on what I built, my life.

He has a funny way of doing that, right?

Gives you enough to do on your own, and then says, well, let's see what that's built on.

And so I started to see some foundations crack in my career, in my marriage, in my relationships with people, even unhealthy relationships.

I had held onto thinking that they were good for me, but honestly, they weren't.

And that was really the start of allowing the Lord to break down this Persona, this foundation that was built upon my will, my striving, my performance, and kind of redefine all that.

I can remember my wife and I would joke about this.

Before I got saved, I think she had seen me cry twice.

Both of them were for funerals, right?

And since I got saved, I mean, I cry at the drop of a hat.

I cry driving down the street on a song comes on the radio, right?

So there's a softness, I think, a compassion the Lord did in me to really balance out this other part.

It'd be easy for me to say, well, this need to achieve and that type of thing is all bad.

I Don't think it is.

I think there's a redemptive state of that that we can have, but they can't be the only motivation.

Right.

And so, but I think, you know, bringing sensitivity and compassion, attention, emotional connection really balances that part of me out.

And of course, you know, my wife is, is my polar opposite because again, that's God's divine sense of humor.

Oh, yeah.

But she brings a lot of that too.

Right.

And helping to bring balance to that for me.

Well, I know that you've mentioned a couple of times your family and so here's, you know, here's a little glimmer of your bundles of joy under, under the umbrella of the rainbow.

And you know.

Right.

Your daughter working at the, at the coffee shop.

How long have you and your wife been married?

Let's see, it'll be 30 years next year.

Wow.

Yeah.

Right out of high school.

Yeah, we got married in September of 97.

Wow.

Dated for six years, but got married in 97.

And we'll be celebrating our 30th.

Yeah.

It's pretty crazy.

That's awesome.

And you, you talked about getting saved.

And I, you know, as I mentioned, as a reformed Catholic, I think there comes a time in our life and it doesn't matter if you stay in a particular religion or if you go into a more spiritual connection on your own.

I think there's a time in our life where we have to decide what other people are telling us about our relationship with God and how we feel about our relationship with God.

And we have to choose at some point.

I believe in this or I don't believe in this.

So how big of the gap before you told your mom, I'm not really into the Catholic Catholicism thing to where you said, you know, there's something more there and I accept God in my own life.

Yeah.

I think I'll go back to something I said earlier.

Like, I, I, there were cracks starting to form in the foundation of my life, but like every overachiever, you, you figure out a way to try to patch it up and just keep going.

And what really brought me to that place of dying, to myself, recognizing like my efforts, everything I've done, no matter how I wanted to define success or whatever, was never going to be enough because there's always a goal that I could never get to really came, you know, after, you know, we started going to a spirit filled church back in Omaha soon after we got married.

We kind of went there off and on before we got married, as we were dating.

But typically we were hungover in the back row.

Came after worship ended and left before the service got over.

But I remember sitting in the pews of that church and hearing a sermon for the first time I could actually understand and could apply to my life.

And that was the start of it.

That was the beginning of this crack that I had had.

And I was fully convinced, Darrell, that I was a good guy.

Like, I didn't kill anybody.

You know, I didn't do anything major.

There was no huge thing that I had done to, you know, and was always very helpful.

Serving was always a family dynamic.

My mom always did that, fed people, that kind of thing.

So I was fully convinced that I was good.

Like, I'd gone to Catholic school and went to Catholic classes and knew enough of the Bible to make me dangerous and overall was a pretty good guy.

People like me, right?

And over time, I started to realize that I was fooling myself.

Like, it was really just.

It was a big lie.

Yeah.

So the church that we were attending after we got married, our kids were old enough to be put into school, and we had the only inter church school in the city that was not Catholic.

Right.

Nebraska is a very Catholic city.

And.

But you, you.

It was so popular that people were camping out overnight for like three days to register their kid to get into school.

And my wife came to me one day, she said, hey, if we wanted to get our kids into school, like, we need to become members.

Well, by this time, we've been attending the church for like 13 years.

Thirteen years, Darrell, where I. I loved worship.

I'd never experienced worship like they did kind of more modern worship, more free flow.

Heard sermon after sermon about the kingdom of God.

Had probably witnessed hundreds of altar calls, but never in that 13 years did I feel like, oh, that's for me.

But funny story, we.

We were trying to get my kid registered, but the registration deadline was after.

Was before the class was over.

So you weren't going to get your membership certificate in time.

So I went to the pastor and said, hey, I need to have this signed before class is over.

I promise we'll finish, we'll do all the things.

And he looked at me kind of sideways and said, how long have you been coming here?

I said, about 13 years.

And it was one of those wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

He goes, hmm.

He said, well, I need leaders for tables.

So you've been here long enough.

Would you be a leader and I'll sign your letter?

And I thought as the sales guy, oh, we're negotiating.

I was like, sure, I'll do it.

Like, how hard could it be?

Like, I said, I've been to Catholic service.

I knew enough of the Bible.

And I was a pretty affable guy.

Like, let's figure this out.

And started going to this class and through the course of that class, realized, like, oh, my gosh, I. I don't know what this faith is.

There was a moment, a night, when the pastor, the senior pastor came in and he knew who I was.

Like, he'd see me around, and we joked in line type thing.

And he got up one night and he drew this picture on this big whiteboard, and it had a bunch of mountains.

And on each mountain, he wrote a different word.

On this mountain, he wrote money.

On this mountain, he wrote success, sex, pleasure, all these things.

And he said, most of you recognize these mountains.

In fact, most of you have tried to climb these mountains for satisfaction and contentment in your life and found yourself wanting.

And he said, there's only one mountain that matters.

It's the mountain of the Lord.

And he begins to give the salvation call.

And it was that moment where I realized, oh, my God, that is my life on a whiteboard.

That was me.

That's how I live my life.

Trying to find satisfaction, trying to find fulfillment.

And went on a business trip.

And I didn't know it at the time, but the Holy Spirit was speaking to me.

There's a song on the radio, very popular, Blessed be in the name of the Lord, you probably remember it.

That was rolling through my head literally for four days, 24, seven, just over and over and over again.

And I was in Atlanta at the time on a business trip.

And the Friday before I flew back on Saturday, I laid in my hotel room and the Holy Spirit came in and showed me a video of my life, of everything I'd done in my life.

All the sin, all the lying, all the stealing, all the things I had done.

And I just wept and wept and wept.

And then I came home.

And Sunday morning, such a funny story.

My wife is in worship and thanking the Lord for her godly husband when she knew I was not a godly husband because she was with me at home, and she saw what I was like, not in front of people.

And as soon as she said that, she turned and I was getting saved.

I was becoming the godly husband that she was thanking the Lord for.

And it was then when I started to.

I realized, oh, my whole life was built around what I wanted, good, bad, or indifferent.

And doing Whatever I could to satisfy those desires, whether it was money or a better career or promotion or sex or whatever.

It was interesting.

I was having this mental battle when the altar call was made.

I thought, I can't go down there.

Like, people know me.

I have a table of 10 people who every week for the last three months have come to me for guidance and counsel on how to walk out Christianity.

But it came to that moment where I said, I can't not do it.

And then from there, it's just been a convertible 120 miles an hour with your hair blown back.

Got filled with the spirit the next year, started to get involved in classes, started learning about the gifts.

I mean, just kind of all the stuff was happening so fast.

And I think this is an important part of the story because, you know, like I say, it's all been puppy dogs and rainbows since that time.

But one of the things I mentioned earlier, one of the mountains that I. I had tried to climb for satisfaction with sex.

And my wife's fine with me telling the story because it's part of our testimony.

But I had.

I had cheated on her several times during our marriage.

And I remember one day in church, our pastor was talking about, you know, confession and the importance of confession.

And he said, you know, if you have cheated on your spouse, now's the time to confess.

And I remember sitting in the pew, and I thought, there's no way.

I'm never going to tell anybody.

I will take this to my grave.

I remember telling the Lord, because he asked me if I would.

And I said no, because my wife came from a broken home.

She came from a family and a father who was a truck driver and cheated on her mom all the time.

And the one thing she said, she said, don't ever cheat on me, or else it's over.

And by this time, Darrell, we had two kids, had the house we wanted, had all the stuff that people would say was a successful life.

And so in my heart, I thought, I cannot tell her this because it's over.

And so I held it for a year.

And the Lord so kindly would ask me.

He's like, do you trust me?

And I would say, no, no way.

This is too big, Lord.

This is too much at risk for me to trust you with this.

And he was just.

Every.

Every so often, he'd ask me do you trust me?

And I said, no, I don't.

Then I went to a men's conference, and he changed the question.

He said, will you trust me?

And I knew at that moment I had to tell her.

And so fast forward about a year.

On Sunday night, I'm washing the dishes.

My wife went to a prayer meeting.

And she came home and began to tell me this incredible, amazing experience she had with the Lord.

And as I'm washing dishes, the Holy Spirit said, tonight's the night, out of the blue.

And I remember sitting there going, okay, I settled.

I'm like, I'll tell her tonight.

And then she walks in the door and tells me this huge story, and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm gonna ruin this for her.

But I knew I had to tell her.

So I confessed.

I told her everything.

All the infidelity, all the lying, all the whatever.

And I had worked it out of my brain.

And I said, you have full permission that I will pack my things up and I will leave.

And you can have the house, you can have the cars.

I would like to have joint custody of the kids, but if you don't want me to, I get it.

And I remember my wife with sort of this fierce look in her eyes.

She looked at me and she said, hey, just because you broke the covenant doesn't mean that I have to break the covenant.

It.

I'm still committed to this.

And it was just this incredible moment of forgiveness when there was no reason to forgive.

And so we went through a year of healing, of unpacking all the things.

Why did I feel the need to do this?

What was the motivation?

What was I looking for?

Although it was all my fault, it also allowed her to look into her own heart and see the things in her that, you know, were off, about how she looked at marriage, how she looked at me, and all these things.

But, you know, it was.

We just talked about this the other day that, you know, she.

The Lord had done such a work in healing her just by being in his presence.

She didn't go to counseling.

She didn't do a lot of, you know, therapy around this.

It was just the Lord in her hours in the bedroom, crying on the bed, that healed her and then ultimately healed our marriage.

And we today are better than we've ever been, even with that background history.

But I say all that because for us, if you had asked her, would she ever do it again, go through it again, she'd say, no, I wouldn't want to go through that again.

But would she also, in the same breath, say she's so thankful that she did, because it was in that brokenness and desperation that she had to make some decisions about who she thought she was and who she thought God was and who she thought I was.

But it gave us this ability to connect at a level of trust and transparency and vulnerability we hadn't had up until that point in our marriage.

And the only way that the Lord was going to be able to build the marriage we have today was to have to go through a difficult, difficult situation.

It was kind.

Yeah, Grace.

And I'm sorry to interrupt you.

Yeah, you're good.

But God's grace is.

Is better than our grace ever is.

God's mercy is better than our mercy ever is.

And God's love is bigger than ours can ever be.

But when we lean into that is when we find that we are worthy of that, because that's what he came here to die for.

And through it all, we have to communicate.

We have to speak about things that we think are difficult to bring them to light.

The darkness has to have a light shined on it.

In order for any healing to happen, for any healing to occur, you have to bring that darkness into the light so you can talk about it.

Through God's love and through God's mercy and through God's grace, then you can heal, and then you can move forward.

Right.

I find that through our brokenness, and I've said this on other platforms, the mosaic is just broken glass put together in a beautiful fashion.

And that's what God does to our life.

He takes our brokenness, and he makes it this beautiful mosaic and beauty that we couldn't otherwise even fathom.

So not that either of you would want to go through that again, but in that, you leaned in closer to your relationship with God and put your trust in.

In the right place, not of this world, but in him to get you both through it.

And now you're still together today, living this.

This beautiful life.

Absolutely.

And I love your.

Your example of a mosaic, because a mosaic, as an artist, you know, you think, well, I'm going to pick the best pieces, the most beautiful pieces.

He takes them all.

He takes the pieces that I'd rather go hide or sweep under the rug or throw in the garbage.

And he says, no, I'm going to use that one one, because it's part of the picture.

Right?

And I think that's.

That's the beauty of it.

And, of course, because that's just how he does.

He redeems completely.

So not only did he walk us through that and get through the healing, but we've walked many couples through similar circumstances and help them, help them find that path of trust in the Lord through the confession and the healing and the ownership and all the things that go with that.

But it's been a beautiful testimony of ours that we continue to look back and we go, like, how did we get here?

Like you said earlier, it's like, grace only comes when we're humble.

And it's the path of humility.

It's the path of dying to yourself, dying to your own expectations and being open to what God has.

Where grace comes and grace, the operational power of the Holy Spirit.

It's that grace that gives us the ability to get past what most couples would devastate, end in divorce, ugly disconnection and separation and, you know, kids sharing time, all that stuff.

But it was because of God's grace, because we chose the path of humility, that he was able to redeem that.

Yeah, that's.

And I think that's the thing that people do need to take away is, is God's grace.

And God's vision is, is more than we could ever.

You do have to surrender to that.

But in your current walk with God and in, as, as who you currently are, what do you want Lou's legacy to be?

I think, I think two things.

I think being fully, fully a Christian, regardless of environment or relationship, like, and when I say fully a Christian, I mean fully alive, fully embracing what it means to walk with God, fully encountering him, hearing from the Holy Spirit, for ourselves and for other people, serving other people.

Like, I think that's the first thing.

Like, it didn't matter.

Before I knew the Lord, I used to joke that I was a social chameleon.

I could become whatever I wanted to be to whomever I wanted.

And now it's like, I just want to be known for who I am, regardless of who the person is standing in front of me or the circumstance that I'm in.

So that'd be the first thing, I think, the second thing, one of the things I'd love to do.

We talked about this before the broadcast.

Like, I've had the honor of coaching and mentoring and discipling men, typically younger men, like 15 or 20 years my junior.

I started a group back in Omaha before I moved out here, and they had a couple of, you know, handful of 25 year old guys, newly married, some with kids, some without, and just walking with them.

And it's interesting, you know, because if you had asked most of those guys, like, I. I've operated as a sort of spiritual father to them, but the reality is they didn't have any of that, which I find interesting, that the Lord would use that.

So I think the second thing would be being a champion for other people.

Helping people to grow, to access more of what's available to them in God's presence, I think would be the other thing.

I want my legacy to be known that, you know, really helping men understand what it means to lead their family well, but not just from the prototypical, you know, caveman with a club, but somebody who has compassion and kindness, really just somebody who models who Jesus is.

And I think those two things, like leading leaders and then being who I am in all circumstances, I think would be the thing I'd want to leave behind.

Your story is interesting to me because when I was in high school, I wrote a paper about how religion was the worst thing that happened to God.

And I said in that paper that.

And you embody this, or did.

Sitting in a pew doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car.

That's right.

You have to do more to.

To be, you know, walking that faith.

And I'm so glad that you did.

And I'm going to ask you this final question as we come to the end here.

What does a warrior spirit, or having a warrior spirit mean to you?

I think a warrior spirit combines several things.

I think first and foremost, courage, honor, and I'd say greediness is part of that, too.

It's the.

It's almost like, you know, David running into the fight against Goliath.

Like, he.

He had assurances from the Lord of who he was, and there was a grit that had to be in there.

And I think part of being a warrior is that I also think, you know, being part of a warrior is understanding when there's a time to battle and when there's a time not to battle.

Because I think it'd be easy if we're just constantly fighting and constantly looking for the next fight.

And I don't think that was the design for us.

I think we're designed for battle and we fight against the, you know, powers of the air.

But I don't think it means that we're always looking for a fight.

Like, there has to be a compassionate element.

And I look back at Jesus, who was unequivocal in his compassion and kindness, but uncompromising in what he believed and how he lived that out.

And I think that for me is a warrior.

I don't.

I don't subscribe to this Jesus as this MMA fighter picture, but I also don't subscribe to this Jesus as the meek guy down the street, the Ned Flanders guy from the Simpsons.

I don't subscribe to that Jesus either.

He's the beautiful balance of both strength and compassion, grit and peace.

And I think that for me, is what I would define as a warrior.

And I am smiling so big because I often define that is as well as the warrior has to know when to fight and when to lay the sword down.

I say that exact same thing.

So I appreciate, you know, you taking the time to do this with me today.

I love your story, I love your journey, and I love who you are as a person.

So, you know, thank you for, for gracing me with this hour.

I appreciate it.

Absolutely.

Darrell, thank you.

And if you'd like to get in touch with Lou, you can do so on his social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

And as always, thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

We're now on all the major platforms as well as on roku via the ProsperITV app and at breakthroughradio.net so be sure to like or subscribe to catch all the episodes.

As always, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So remember to be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

Sa.