Welcome to another episode of Late Boomers, our new reality where we, Cathy and Merry, dive into what life looks like after 50, 60, and beyond! In this episode, we’re talking all about modern love, late-in-life relationships, and the big question: Should you get married later in life, or is companionship enough? Inspired by a fascinating AARP magazine article, we explore everything from dating apps and living apart together to estate planning, finances, and finding purpose and joy in relationships as mature adults.

Navigating relationships in your later years brings unique questions: Should you remarry or simply enjoy companionship? How important are legal commitments like marriage, especially when finances, family, and independence are at play? We open up about widowhood, the desire for independence, the realities of estate planning, and the dynamics of blending families after 50. Plus, we share our honest thoughts on dating apps, common red flags, and what commitment really looks like today.

Key Takeaways

• Redefining Relationships: Love and relationships after 50 are less about traditional expectations and more about comfort, independence, and honesty. Many boomers are discovering that “living apart together” offers both romance and breathing room for personal growth 03:03.
• Finances & Family: Marriage later in life has important financial and legal implications, including taxes, Social Security, inheritance, and healthcare 05:23. Estate planning is crucial—especially when children from previous relationships are involved.
• Commitment Without Marriage: A deep, committed relationship doesn’t always need a legal contract. Emotional support, exclusivity, and shared life experiences can define partnership at this stage 24:18.
• Caregiving Concerns: Health issues and caregiving responsibilities weigh heavily on relationship decisions later in life 17:16. Discussing medical directives and power of attorney is essential even outside of marriage 18:14.
• Modern Dating: Dating apps are increasingly popular, even among people in their 70s and 80s! But they require dedication and can bring new challenges like love bombing, ghosting, and financial scams 11:07.
• Red Flags & Emotional Availability: Be aware of manipulative behaviors, financial exploitation, and emotional unavailability. Mature dating comes with its own set of risks and benefits 21:09.

Are you navigating love and relationships after 50? Have you chosen to remarry, live apart together, or skip marriage entirely? We want to hear YOUR story and insights! Leave a comment on our YouTube channel, share your experiences, or suggest topics you’d like Cathy and Merry to discuss on future episodes. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Late Boomers wherever you listen and help us redefine what life, love, and happiness can be later in life.

Thank you for tuning in to Late Boomers, our new reality, your new inspiration!

Cathy & Merry

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Late Boomers is part of the eWomenPodcastNetwork.

eWomenPodcastNetwork

Welcome to Lake Boomers, our new reality, where we are living, learning, and redefining what life after 50, 60, and beyond can look like.

And we are your hosts. I'm Merry Elkins. And Cathy Worthington just spoke. And every week we explore topics that matter to boomers. Reinvention, relationships, purpose, health, loss, grief, growth, and all the adventures that come to us at this stage.

Today, we're doing something a little different. We are inspired by a fascinating article in the February 2026 issue of AARP magazine called should you ditch getting hitched?

That is an interesting topic. In other words, I mean, should people really get married when they're older and later in life, or is companionship enough for many boomers?

This isn't the theoretical. We could be divorced, widowed, happily single, dating again, or in a committed relationship. But the relationships don't follow traditional expectations, Right?

Oh, that's really true. And. And really, dater dating later in life is so different than what it was decades ago when we were. When we were younger.

Yeah, younger. Oh, we're so young now. Right. So today we're unpacking modern love after 50, marriage, dating apps, companionship, finances, independence, and whether happily ever after needs a legal contract.

Yeah, and I think young people are questioning that, too, because boomers are asking the same questions, but for different reasons.

Exactly. When you're older, you're not necessarily looking to build a life from scratch. You already have a life.

Yeah. Or we're just in a new phase and we have to build that new life from scratch. But then you have to think about your home, your finances, all the routines that you're used to. Family dynamics, children, grandchildren. I'm sure.

Maybe an estate plan, huh?

Yeah, that too. Definitely.

Yeah. So the question is, why marry again if you already know who you are and what you want?

Or maybe why not?

Yeah. Dating in our generation used to be very linear, though.

So I was going to say to you. What do you mean? But I guess you're thinking about dating, getting serious in college, getting pinned. Maybe you got married, you bought a house, you had children and.

Yeah. And people later in life are asking now whether companionship can exist without all those traditional boxes being checked.

Yeah. Like, there is a term for this, which is living apart together.

Yeah, I think that's a good, good idea. I think a lot of boomers really secretly find that very appealing.

Say secretly.

Well, yeah.

Okay. Should I just leave that up into secrets? But I guess, you know, if you love someone and. But when you think about it, really living apart together, the idea of Having your own bathroom, maybe even your own bed. It doesn't sound that bad.

It may be the true secret to romance.

And your own thermostat.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think marriage is still the ultimate goal later in life? I know how I feel about that question.

How do you feel?

I feel it's not. But how do you feel that it's a goal?

Well, I'm not going to have children. That would be for the Guinness. That would be for the Guinness World Book of Records.

Well, unless you were adopting.

But then you think about companionship, you know, and it's, it's nice to think of having somebody there. And is the legal commitment that important? Maybe in certain ways it is. But you know, and, and if you lose a spouse, like we'd have or go through divorce. Yeah. And I'm sure, I'm positive that people approach relationships differently.

And full disclosure for those of you who don't know us, we both widowed. We're both widowed and neither one of us is divorced. So we don't fit the mold of what everybody else is going through necessarily. But I know an awful lot of people now that have lost their spouses and does it make them more cautious, more independent or clearer about what they want?

I think it could. You know, if you've been married a long time, sometimes when you have that time alone for a while, it makes a big difference because you find out who you are in this stage of

life and one thing you have to discuss or think about is money.

That's a big thing because marriage affects taxes, Social Security, pensions, inheritance, healthcare options. That's a biggie that a lot of people want to avoid.

I know it's not sexy first date conversation, but particularly I think people worry about inheritance.

Well, for kids, if you have kids. Yeah, definitely.

Yeah.

And most people want to leave their money to their kids. But also if they, if they marry later in life, but they've been with, been with that person for 10, 20 years, they'll want to take care of that person too. So.

Right. It gets very tricky with the estate and I do hear nightmare stories about people stepping in other, the kids from the other side suing the, the kid, one of the kids that got the money, like got more, more money. Yeah, yeah.

Or, or even the spouse, the new spouse, their, their, you know, new mother, their mother in law or whatever they want to call or father in law.

Yeah. And maybe they end up with the money because now the new spouse loves the spouse so much, he or she wants to take care of that person. And so the child feels disinherited. That can happen. Yeah. So I think sometimes they're not supportive of.

Of their.

Of. Of you getting married. I mean.

Right.

Yeah.

Right. But then how does that influence romance? Late in life? Romance. And I think a lot.

I think people really think about money. I think at least it could take a front seat. It can take the front seat. As opposed to when you're in 20s and you're just going to combine and you're going to work together and neither

of you has anything anyway. But. But when you're older, you do have. You hope. You have a nest egg. You hope. And children are very, very cognizant of what's there for them. But I had something in my mind when we talked about doing this episode, and it's really about love.

Is love the same as it was when we were younger? Do you feel the same? What is it? Is it just really you feel comfortable with someone, you care about them, you. You want to take care of them? Is it still romantic and passionate like it was when we were kids?

I think it's super different. Super different. I think all the emotional play is there and the moods and trying to cope with another person. It's all there. But no, it's not the same as when you fall head over heels and you're 25 years old. No, I don't think so.

I don't think it is either. It would be. I think we're all searching for that, and yet I don't know if it's possible. Maybe it is.

I think we have to recognize when the other version of it hits us over the head. It's there anyway. It's the comfort factor. Feeling super comfortable to be with somebody and hang out with somebody and not worry about, like, oh, I don't feel butterflies all the time. Maybe that's a healthier thing.

Maybe it is. In a way. It's like being married for how you feel when you've been married to someone for a long time. It's a different kind of love, and maybe it's a better kind of love. And it's not like the kind of love that I think we need.

Yeah, more real and more grounded, maybe.

More grounded, maybe.

Well, how about this for a topic switch? Would you ever use dating apps? Because I know I have not and you have not, so I know asking that question, but most people listening to us that are in this situation are using dating apps. I know the most common way now that people meet younger people and older people. I have a girlfriend in her 80s and she's using dating apps and she always dates younger men and she's really done well with dating apps. And I don't mean it's a lot of guys, but.

And I have a.

Several.

I have a friend who's was on dating apps and she's older too, and she's given up on them. She just said she hasn't met anybody and she said she's made the decision that if she meets somebody, great, but in the meantime she's going to enjoy her life, whatever life she has in front of her. Giving parties, traveling, cooking for friends, just going out with girlfriends or man friends. But she's given up on actually.

Well, then she doesn't figure into this podcast at all because today we're talking about relationships. We are dating relationships. I know, I gotta know that.

I know, but I have to tell you that the, the idea of having to do my profile and then having to swipe, what is it right or left?

I don't know, I'm not, I'm not familiar yet.

And then, I mean, we still have an ego. What if someone ghosts us? Or people?

Yeah.

You know, there's a word called catfishing. I'm not even sure what it is.

Well, words we have to know in this world. And you and I have interviewed a couple people as guests for this podcast that are experts in dating. And they say once you go on a, on an app, you treat it like a full time job. You have to check it every single day. You have to give it, you know, several hours. You can't just, you know, swipe a couple times and expect things are going to happen. You have to like, follow through. So it sounds like so much work to me.

It sounds like too much work for me. I mean, I have so many other things. I'm doing the podcast, obviously.

The podcast takes up all the dating time, doesn't it? It really does.

I mean, and certainly you're very good on social media. I'm still dealing. Yeah, you are. You're great. You do it all the time and I don't. And I should.

If only I don't do it all the time. You're supposed to do it every day.

I will.

Well, no, I don't do it every day, but I should be doing it every day. We make, we make reels for all of our episodes. And are they all up online right now? No, they're not quite, no.

Well, they're all on YouTube. Everybody out there.

No, the reels aren't the reels. The episodes are on there. Oh, the episodes are off.

Yeah.

But the little reels that are supposed to promote, we're supposed to be posting those every day and it puts a lot of pressure. And that feels kind of like the dating apps too.

It does. Doesn't. Feels just like more work, more stuff to do when really at our age we just kind of want companionship. As far as dating apps and men,

it is very nice to have someone to go to the movies with, to

go travel with, travel with.

And. And because people, all of us, you and I, have fought hard to have independence late in life. So, you know, how much. What do you think about. Let's discuss then how you feel about marriage itself, like late in life.

Well, you know, I think one thing about marriage, if you are married and you haven't lost your spouse or divorce or separated.

Oh, I meant a new one. Oh, finding a new one. Are you going to feel that it's comforting or confining?

You know, it depends on the person and the chemistry and what you have together. If you have a relationship that makes you feel like you're a better person, if they are supportive of you emotionally, if you can, if they're the person, you can call in the daytime and say, here's what I did today. You know, that's really important. Not long after my husband passed away, I left his message on our. We had an answer. Well, we had an answering machine then and stuff. And so not long after he passed away, I just call it and just talk about what I did during the day, which is pretty. It sounds pretty pathetic, but it's not.

It's a way of coping with grief.

Yeah.

I think it sounds really healthy. I think like I'm not a therapist, but I bet a therapist would tell you that's a really good idea.

Well, there you go.

I just used to go out in the backyard and talk without recording anything, you know.

Yeah.

Talk to them and just discuss. Discuss it. But how about. Don't you think separate households at this stage in life, late in life or whatever, meet just even mid. Midlife. 58 years old you could be and you find yourself widowed or divorced.

Yeah.

And don't you think like separate households can actually strengthen relationships?

Well, that's what they say, you know, long distance relationship, keep the heart grow fonder. Isn't. Isn't that the phrase or makes the heart grow fonder.

Well, okay, I don't love the absence part because you want to be able to see the person.

It really is. But I mean, on one hand, do couples really need to live together. On that note, to be committed, because I think we have a friend who's. I don't know if she's living with her beau, but they have a committed relationship. And I don't know that they live together. I think they keep separate households, don't they?

I don't. Right offhanded, I don't know who you're talking about. So I do know some people who are actually married and they have separate households. Oh, they have. In fact, in New York, they have a place where they live across the hall from each other.

Oh, that's perfect.

Yeah. It's really amazing. I've been there to visit, and it's really amazing. And part of the time they're in Paris because they're originally French. And I don't know if they're, you know, if they're. If they do the same thing in Paris, if they have two places, I. I have no idea. I don't think so.

But let's talk about caregiving.

Let's talk about health.

Yeah, let's talk about health and caregiving. Yeah.

That is big.

Yeah. Would you, like, expect a boyfriend of yours to start taking care of you? That feels really uncomfortable to me.

You know, I think if you have a committed relationship, it's kind of. It's not stated, but you do. If you care about somebody, if they get sick, you're there for them. Unless you live in different cities or different states or countries, then it becomes a little more difficult.

Yeah. Yeah. You can't expect that to happen at all.

And then it depends how much caregiving you're talking about. Are you talking about, you know, total, I hate to say, say, dementia and Alzheimer's and all those things that can happen to all of us, some terrible accident or major, major health concerns, but on one hand, that's where marriage can be something that is necessary because you can at least get into the hospital and make decisions, especially if that person wants you to do that.

So. But I would say when you're just seeing someone and going to dinner and going to movies and visiting or maybe going on little trips or whatever, I don't think you're. You're. It feels uncomfortable to me to say, oh, do we need a medical power of attorney? Because maybe you leave that to their kids or whatever.

Right, right.

And, you know, I. I think could be super awkward.

I agree.

But if you don't have a medical power of attorney, as we know from interviewing. Who is our guest? Your friend that wrote the incredible book about.

Oh, yeah, right.

What's his name again? Dan Morheim. Dan Morheim has the book, and it's very helpful book. And I'm sure he would say, yeah, like, on the third date, you better get a medical. But, you know.

Right.

You know, we didn't discuss that topic when he was talking about how to plan.

I. I can't even imagine discussing it with someone that you're. You're dating. I mean, that's more of a marriage situation. And yet when you get up there, it's kind of. I mean, in a way, it's kind of scary. And. And to.

When you think, am I going to be alone? Am I going to. Is. Am I going to pass away and no one will know? I mean, that's kind of frightening to think.

I know. And my friend Lana always says, I don't want to be the nurse or the purse. So she does. She's not going to support anyone late in life with her accumulated savings. And she's also doesn't want to take care of them indefinitely because she just went through all that losing her husband.

Right, right.

And you and I have been through that. And it's like, not something you want to jump into. It's not ever something you want to jump back into. Oh, I could just do that again.

But at the same time, when you think of these years that we have left, how many we have, you know, one or a hundred. I doubt a hundred. But, you know, you think about, I want to have fun. I want to have a good time. I want to be happy. I want joy in my life. I want some independence to find out what I want, where I'm going. We still think of future.

So on one hand, having a relationship is really important.

And also, I have some close friends that are neighbors, and I watch what they're going through. And one in particular is. Is living with a husband who now has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. And what she goes through every day is so difficult.

Oh, yeah.

And it's. It's like, I see that happening, and I go, I don't want that. But on a lighter note, let's get back to dating for a minute. Let's get off the care.

Oh, yeah, we're. We're talking about marriage.

Let's talk about dating.

Okay, let's talk about dating. You go first.

What about what red flags we should be looking for?

What's.

There are a lot of red flags. There are a lot of red flags.

There are.

Have you heard of love bombing?

No, what is it?

Oh, it's when the person you've just met is so. Gets so obsessed with you right away that they are texting constantly and saying they love you, like way too soon. Or. Or too soon for you. It might not be too soon for them, but love bombing, they're just deluging. That's not a word. But they're. You're feeling deluged with all their crap because they're just into it too fast.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they say that they. They say that men, if they've lost a spouse, really wanted a relationship quickly and want to get married again, whereas women hold off more. And I. Yeah, it's true. And I think that love bombing may be a way for a man to start a relationship, and they're going to have to be patient if they have.

Well, coming out of that people. It's so manipulative. Love bombing. In many cases, especially when the guys are younger, middle, like maybe their 50s or 60s, they're really manipulating the woman and she feels like, oh, he's so incredibly in love with him.

Right. And that's flattering. And they tell you how much they love you, how beautiful you are, but that's a bit suspect. And you have to say, well, why is this person doing this?

Yeah. Because another red flag is financial manipulation. So if they start into that, what are you gonna do with that? That sounds terrible.

Yeah, it sounds. It's frightening. And then there's another one. What if the person that you want to be with isn't emotionally available? That's another situation.

Because either they're in too much grief or. Or they. They are just. They've been burned by a very bad divorce.

Yeah.

Because a lot of the guys on dating apps are divorced. Of course, everybody isn't running around widow. So do you think it's possible to have your best relationship late in life?

Well, we can hope.

Why not?

You know?

You do think it's possible.

Yeah, it's a different kind of love. Like we were talking about before, it would be great if you have all the, you know, everything becomes clear and there's sparkles in your eyes, and that would be wonderful. But the truth is, is that I think older people, or at least older women, are looking for something different. I think men are still looking for sex, and I don't think men are that much different than they were, except that perhaps they don't look quite at how you look, but more how you are.

Yeah, that's true. That probably is true.

Yeah.

So what does commitment look like then? If we're. If, say we don't want Marriage. What does commitment look like? I don't know.

That's a good question. I don't know either. I mean, exclusivity, maybe. Maybe. I mean, if you travel together, that doesn't mean much. It's like a long date.

Thank you, Merry.

And hopefully you get to meet their family and the family likes you. I've heard of people who have wonderful relationships, older in life, and their kids hate the woman. And that's. That's a terrible issue.

Now. That would be a disaster. I think both of us have had a much better experience than that we've had. We've met guys that have fabulous families.

Yes.

Very welcoming.

Absolutely.

And it just adds to the quality of your own life when that happens.

Absolutely. It really, really does. And, yeah, I think.

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Sorry.

I just think, you know, when you become more mature, whatever that really means, whether it means older or. What does maturity mean, really.

I think we know what it means, but to define it. Right.

I could look up the definition, but

I mean, I think it means that we. We can be more intentional. We can plan things out. We can say, these are my finances. This is what I'm not willing to do. Here's what I'm willing to do for caregiving. And I want to be there for you, but I'm. I don't want to move in and be your nurse, as my other friend had told me, you know, and when I see my neighbor doing it, I don't want to do it.

It's like. But sometimes. Sometimes I think, like in the title of the article, should you ditch getting hitched? Should we just ditch it? Yeah. I think for me, I feel like.

Is there a reason? I mean, either when you.

It's a reason.

Yeah. I mean, you're not going to have children. You probably don't necessarily need to share, to have shared finances. The only reason I can think of is health. Really?

Yeah. But you can. Can't you do that with that medical power of attorney that you can be involved?

I think you can.

Then the doctors have to disclose to you. They have to let you in the room. If the person is seriously ill, you can be in the room if you have that power of attorney. If you don't, you have no rights at all.

I know, I know. I think if you are the designated partner that people, you know, health institutions recognize that now. They never used to, but I think

you need a document to that effect.

Sure.

Our readers, our listeners. Rather not readers, our listeners can engage with us on the comments on YouTube and tell us some things they've learned about that. I would really like to have some engagement with this episode. Episode, you're listening to this at this stage, please let us know. And I want, I think I'm going to thank everybody for joining us today for late boomers, our new reality. That's what we're calling it.

Yeah. And I think we'll have to continue to talk about our new reality, wherever that will take us. But thank you all for listening and watching and subscribe.

Yes, please subscribe. It means everything to us. And tell us your thoughts, why don't you would you remarry? Would you live apart together or would you skip marriage entirely?

Absolutely. And also, if you have any ideas about what you'd like to hear our thoughts on, please let us know that, too.

Yeah, sure.

Bye.

Bye, everybody.

Thank you for listening.