Self-love is not something you announce. It is something you practice.

In this episode, Yaya discusses the quiet, everyday habits that reveal how you truly treat yourself, even when you claim to be “working on self-love.”

If you have ever felt burnt out, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself while still telling everyone you are fine, this note will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect.

Inside this episode, we talk about:

1. Why self-love shows up most clearly in small, unglamorous moments
2. The daily habits that quietly signal low self-trust
3. How negative self-talk, overworking, and ignoring intuition affect confidence
4. Why rest is not a reward, but a requirement
5. A simple daily check-in that can change how you move through your day

This is not about shame. It is about awareness.

Because once you see where you are abandoning yourself, you can start choosing yourself again.

Next episode: We'll be discussing how to enjoy your own company and why being alone doesn't have to feel lonely.

If this episode spoke to you and you want to connect with me directly, you can reach out to me on Instagram @coachingwithyaya.

Follow the podcast account and share it with a friend or tag us on Instagram @notestoher.daily.

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Foreign.

Hey, girl.

Hey.

Welcome to notes to her, the daily pep talk.

I am Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach.

And today we're having one of those conversations.

The kind is loving and kind, but honest.

Because a lot of women say that they love themselves.

They say that they are working on self love.

They say that they are choosing themselves.

But their habits, they tell a different story.

And before you tense up or feel called out, stay with me.

This is not about shame.

This isn't about guilt.

It's about awareness.

Because self love isn't something that you declare once and then just call it done.

It's something that you practice quietly every single day.

And today we're talking about what your daily habits are revealing about the relationship that you have with yourself.

Now, self love doesn't show up in those big moments.

It shows up in small ones.

How you talk to yourself when you make a mistake.

How you treat your body when you're exhausted.

How you respond when something feels off.

How you ignore your own needs to keep things moving.

Your habits don't lie if they snitch.

Because if you say you love yourself but you are constantly abandoning yourself, something is misaligned and a lot of women don't even realize they're doing it.

They make a mistake and immediately go harder.

Instead of resting, they miss something and punish themselves.

Instead of asking what they need, they feel something in their bodies and ignore it because slowing down feels inconvenient.

That's not discipline.

That is disconnection.

And over time, disconnection chips away at your confidence.

Now let's talk about what this actually looks like in real life.

Some habits that quietly say I don't fully have my own back are pushing through exhaustion instead of resting.

Ignoring your intuition because you don't want to rock the boat.

Talking to yourself in ways that you would never talk to a friend over.

Committing and then resenting everyone involved, including yourself.

Scrolling instead of sitting with your feelings and staying silent when something doesn't feel right.

Now, none of this means that you're broken.

It just means you were taught to survive, not to honor yourself.

A lot of women have learned that productivity equals worth, that being needed equals value, that rest is earned and not required, that emotions are an inconvenience.

So habits adapt to that belief and your nervous system learned keep going, don't stop, don't feel, don't need.

But confidence doesn't grow in that environment.

It actually withers.

Now, self love isn't about perfection.

It's about consistency.

It's about choosing yourself in Small unglamorous ways over and over and over again is asking what do I need right now?

And actually answering honestly.

Even if the answer is inconvenient, it's letting your habits reflect respect instead of punishment.

Psychology actually tells us that self compassion, rest, mindfulness and boundaries aren't extras.

They literally help regulate your nervous system.

They improve emotional regulation, and they strengthen self trust.

When you practice self love daily, your confidence strengthens.

Naturally, your boundaries get clearer, your decisions feel steadier.

Your self trust deepens.

Not because you're doing more, but because you're finally listening.

So let's make this real simple.

Here's one habit that you can start today.

Once a day I want you to pause and ask yourself, am I acting from care or from pressure?

Pressure sounds like I should just push through.

I don't have time for this.

I'll deal with this later.

Care sounds like I need to pause.

I need clarity.

I need support.

I need rest.

That one question builds self trust.

Because every time you respond with care, you are telling yourself, I'm safe with me.

And confidence grows fastest when you trust yourself.

So let me leave you with this.

Your habits are not judging you.

They are informing you.

They are showing you where your self love needs reinforcement.

And if you want help rebuilding self trust and small real ways, I created something called the Confidence Kit.

It's designed for everyday moments when your mind spirals, when you start shrinking, when you need something solid to come back to.

Inside you'll find grounding tools, self talk, resets, and confidence anchors you can use in real time.

This free resource is linked in the show notes.

And if this note gave you clarity, share it with a woman who's learning how to choose herself again.

And remember, you're not behind.

You're becoming more intentional.