Shownotes
What happens when survival mode becomes your identity for years? On this episode of Inner Peace, Better Health, Michelle Rogers shares her journey from childhood trauma and abandonment to rebuilding her life through self-awareness, boundaries, and inner healing.
This conversation is for anyone carrying emotional exhaustion while trying to appear “strong.” Michelle opens up about grief, self-worth, meditation, body awareness, and learning to feel safe within herself again. A grounded reminder that healing is often quiet, messy, and deeply human.
About the Guest:
Michelle Rogers is the author of The Resiliency Blueprint. She shares lessons from her personal experiences with trauma, healing, foster parenting, entrepreneurship, and emotional resilience.
Episode Chapters:
00:00 – The quiet side of resilience
04:10 – Listening to the inner voice again
08:22 – Foster parenting and rediscovering healing
13:40 – Why resilience is not “pushing through”
18:12 – Yoga, body awareness, and opening the heart
24:05 – Boundaries as emotional self-care
29:10 – Healing as a daily return to yourself
Key Takeaways:
- Healing starts when you begin listening to yourself again
- Boundaries protect your peace, not punish others
- Emotional healing often changes the body too
- Meditation and breathwork can calm internal chaos
- Safe, supportive people matter deeply during recovery
How to Connect With the Guest:
- The Resiliency Blueprint website
- Instagram: The Resiliency Blueprint
- Facebook community: The Resiliency Blueprint
- Book available on Amazon
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Transcripts
00:00:09 Nazish: Welcome to inner Peace. Better health. I am Nazish, and this is a space where we explore the deep, quiet connection between what's happening inside us emotionally and what's happening inside us physically. My guest today is Michelle Rogers. Michelle is an author of The Resiliency Blueprint, a book born from her own journey through childhood abuse, abandonment, divorce, and rebuilding all the way to founding multi-million dollar companies and coaching women through their own reclamation. She's lived the mind body, cost of survivor and the mind body gift of reinvention. We are going to talk today not just about how to survive, but how to come back to peace in a body that has carried so much. I welcome you to the show, Michelle.
00:01:02 Michelle Rogers: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me, and I appreciate your time today.
00:01:08 Nazish: You're very welcome. Before we go ahead, listeners, some statements reflect personal belief and experiences and are presented as individual views, not medical advice. So listeners should consult qualified professionals for medical conditions.
00:01:25 Nazish: Yeah. So Michelle, before we get before we go into the harder parts, I want to start some something somewhere gently. When you think about the version of you who first picked up the pen to write the resiliency blueprint, what was your body trying to tell you back then? What, what were the small physical signals that something needed to be put out on the paper?
00:01:52 Michelle Rogers: So, um, I will start by saying the book has been a process and it's been something, uh, over many, many years, uh, not the creation of the book, the actual, uh, intuition. Um, when you get that still small voice, uh, in the back of your head and I say still small voice. Sometimes it's really loud, um, of saying, oh, I need to write this down. I need to, I need to write a book. And then or, you know, I need to call my grandfather or I need to, you know, do this, that, or whatever the next thing is. Um, I had learned to shove that voice down. I had learned that, you know, that voice didn't matter. Um, um, so as I was going through my healing journey, one of the things that I really focused on was listening to myself, listening to the inner dialogue that I was having with myself. So if, if I was doing something and at one moment I would think, oh, I need to call my grandfather, I would honor that. I would call my grandfather if, um, you know, I was doing something else in it and something would pop in my head and be like, oh, I need to write that down. I would write it down. So I started really listening to, to what those, um, that voice inside was saying. And I, I think that that's your soul, you know, kind of moving you towards where you need to be. And, uh, last year I went to a. It's called Growth Now summit. It's a conference. And they had a million dollar author, um, book, uh, publishing company that was there. And I just kept every time I would go by the, um, their table, something would be like, you, you know, you really need to write a book. You really need to write a book. And I just the entire conference, I was like, I'm not doing this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like I was very resistant about it. And then at the very end. Um, at the very end, I walked by the table one more time and very loudly that inside voice said, all you have to do is get information. So I went and I got their information. And that really is how the book started.
00:04:17 Nazish: It sounds like a beautiful journey, I'd say, and I'm very glad that it turned out to be so good for, and I believe it is going to help a lot of listeners and a lot of readers for what they are, for the answers they're looking for.
00:04:34 Michelle Rogers: Yes. Um, and this the, the book did not start out as the book that it finished. Um, I was going to write a book about business, about real estate, you know, my, my day jobs. I've built, uh, companies in real estate. And as I was going through this, I really was looking up at my life. And we are foster parents for a little, uh, he's now eight year old child that came to us at seven and he didn't have a voice. Um, he was one hundred percent nonverbal. You know, he didn't have anybody advocating for him. And the, the whole process. I had to learn to deal with my own traumas and get trauma informed, um, parenting classes so that I was able to help him and give him a voice. So honestly, that journey, um, then really ignited what I went through as a child and not having a voice and being to and going from, you know, surviving to wow, how did I do that? And, and how am I showing up for this little, this little boy? Um, so the book became about resilience and the six steps that I learned, um, that I went through to go from, you know, childhood abuse and, and divorces and things like that to be able to now use my voice to help this little child and, and ultimately help other women who are in the same, we're in the same situations that I was in and, um, to help us all move forward so that we can all rise together.
00:06:28 Nazish: That is so beautiful, I'd say. And I think that is a common idea, that resilience means staying strong, pushing through, not letting anything break you. But I have a feeling like after everything you have lived, your definition must be very different.
00:06:46 Michelle Rogers: My definition is very different. Um, I will say that, uh, to me, you know, radical resilience is not doing at all. It's not the pushing through what it is. It's refusing to give up on yourself. And it's rewriting our own story on our terms. Because so many times our story is written by other people and how other people want us to be. So it's using our voice. It's having women cheering us. And ultimately I for me, um, resilience is breaking the mold and we're stepping into something new that we can redefine the success, safety and love and strength on our own terms for ourselves.
00:07:35 Nazish: That sounds like the best time to having to do things our way. And because if we keep telling people resilience is hardness, we keep teaching them to wall up their bodies and their hearts. And what you are describing sounds more like softness with roots.
00:07:54 Michelle Rogers: Mhm. Absolutely, absolutely. You know, one of the I had three very strong women in my life that helped me through the process. And one of those women owned a yoga studio. And, um, now, mind you, every yoga class in my brain, I was cursing her out because some of those moves, like my body was not moving. I was over three hundred pounds, you know, at the time I was not taking care of myself. Um, and she would tell me over and over and over again, you need to show up. You need to show up. Show up for yourself. Show up, show up, show up. And I would do that. And, and very quickly, you know, she would teach me that, you know, open your heart. She would do these heart opening exercises. You know, all I wanted to do was close it off because I had been hurt so deeply, and there was no way I was going to let other people hurt me. And yet I was doing myself a disservice because I was so, as you had said, walled off where as I opened my heart, I could open that and give myself grace. I can give myself understanding, I can learn and by doing, show it to other people and I can help other people, which then in turn actually helps me.
00:09:16 Nazish: Yeah, yeah, that is very good too. You know, I believe when you go to bed at night, you have to get get the all the negative emotions, all these emotions out of you. It also it not just it helps you, but it also helps. Maybe it just brings a lot of peace in your conversation with that person as well.
00:09:38 Michelle Rogers: Yes, I, I one hundred percent agree there's a, another, um, woman that I'm very close with who does this, um, exercise and I'm glad you brought up right before you go to bed because right before you go to bed, you, um, think of yourself, you're on a stage and you have all these people in the audience and you know, you are energetically tied to all these people. Right. Um, and yet we still want to be present in, in everything. So if we are energetically tied to all these people and we go to bed. Um, we continue that, uh, energy in the morning. So one of the things that she, uh, has taught is to go through and, you know, you imagine the white light, and then you imagine cutting all those energetic ties so they could be positive, they could be negative. But you are you are standing alone on the stage and you have cut those energetic ties so that in the morning when you are refreshed and you start your day again, then you get to create. You get to choose what energetic ties you have with that person. So it it becomes anew. So you're not, you're not having a relationship based off of negative energies or this happened. So now I have to react to this. You get to choose every day how you show up for those people.
00:11:15 Nazish: Yeah. I mean, that is such an honest answer. And, you know, I you have lived through some of these deepest things as a person can carry child abuse, abandonment, divorce. So from what you have come to understand about yourself and what's actually underneath those years for someone living it.
00:11:39 Michelle Rogers: Um, so I would say someone living that right now, um, I would say these three or four things, you know, you are safe, you are loved, you are worthy. And we believe in you. And I would say those over and over and over again to the person until they believed it as well as have them say, have them say it. I am when you say I am, and then you pair it with whatever is next that is powerful into the universe, you are creating that? Um, when I was in, when I was younger and I was in the midst of all of that, I didn't feel loved. I didn't feel seen, I didn't feel heard. I felt none of that. I was like a small nub. I had no self-worth. Um, and, um, one person, he helped change my life. He said, you know, he was like, what are your hopes and dreams and what do you want to do with your life? What are your goals? And I see you. And I was like, oh my God, somebody sees me. Like somebody said that before. Everybody just wants something from me. You know, you actually see me like, what does that even mean? And that was such a shift in understanding that I was loved for who I am and not for what they could get from me. So I would say those same things to a woman or, you know, a person going through the heart ache and, and the abuse and, and whatever trauma you're dealing with is you're loved, you're seen and you're safe.
00:13:37 Nazish: That is such a beautiful answer because, you know, I think the body holds the recipients as much. And so much of what we call mental health is actually a body slowly asking us to be listened. And which is so important.
00:13:55 Michelle Rogers: Yes, absolutely. When I changed my mindset and I went from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, you know, my entire life changed, my body changed. I was over three hundred pounds. I'm now one hundred and seventy pounds. Um, you know, just even giving yourself grace and understanding and going to the gym and your own self-care, your own self. Mental care has such an impact on your entire life.
00:14:29 Nazish: I agree, I agree. I mean, and you know, I want to ask you like, how does this come in everyday life? Like not the big breakthrough was but the small one for a woman for, for any women who might be listening right now, who's in the middle of her version of this story, who's tried and who's juggling everything? And what does the work of healing actually looks like for her on a regular day?
00:14:57 Michelle Rogers: Uh, well, the work of healing is going to look different for everybody. But I will say, um, one, one of it's messy. I, it's messy. I'm not going to, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm not going to say it's butterflies and rainbows. It's not, it's messy. Um, for me it was crying, just bawling on, you know, a friend's couch. It was, I was going through the divorce and I remember not being able to sleep. And I remember laying, laying in my bed, looking up at the ceiling and just bawling and, and praying, you know, oh, help me, help me, help me. And, and I will say, as clear as day is, I am speaking to you right now and you are speaking to me. A voice said, get up and go take a shower now. It's two o'clock in the morning. So you know what? I went up. I took a shower because why not? And then I, as I'm in the shower, the same voice just like you and I are speaking, said you are allowed to grieve your marriage. You can move on. And I went, okay, first of all, am I going nuts? Is there somebody else in this room with me? Um, but at the same time I was like, oh, I can give myself permission. That was me giving myself permission to be able to grieve and move forward. And yes, I mean, you know, I healing there. We talk about toxic dynamics. We can talk, I can talk all day about toxic dynamics and family and this and that. And when you are the person that is changing, people are going to say, oh, you've changed. Yeah, I've changed. I'm healing. That's correct. That's a good thing. I want to change. I want to heal so that I'm no longer subjecting myself to this. So yes, I mean, it's, it's a one step forward, two steps back. But you know what? At least you're stepping forward. At least you're moving forward.
00:17:03 Nazish: And I guess that is what matters at the end of the day that you are moving forward despite all the challenges and all the negatives that you're facing in your in with yourself.
00:17:14 Michelle Rogers: Mhm.
00:17:15 Nazish: And like you said, it is going to be different for everybody. But then at the end of the day, when you find your peace, that is what matters.
00:17:23 Michelle Rogers: Yes. Absolutely, absolutely. And the people that you surround yourself with, um, they, they, they are going to help you or they're going to hurt you. So make sure that you're surrounding yourself with people that are going to be your cheerleaders, be your bruisers, um, be your support on your healing journey. And some, and a lot of the people that were with you before you've healed, before you've started this journey, you're, they're not going to be with you anymore. And you don't want them with you. You know, your whole life is going to change and it's miraculous and you deserve it.
00:18:09 Nazish: Yeah, that is what is important. You know, this is it is so important to name it because I think healing doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes it shows up as deeper breath, a softer shoulder, a quieter mind. And that is the kind of process that does not make for a headline, but for a whole life feel different.
00:18:35 Michelle Rogers: Absolutely. I mean, like you said, sometimes it's just it's the pause. It's the pause before reaction. You know, that could be the best thing that you've done all day is just done. That pause. It's the deep breath. It's the, you know, um, maybe doing a yoga breath or, or okay. When I started meditation, I was like, what is this meditation stuff? Oh heck no, because I couldn't sit down and the squirrels in my mind quiet enough The hat, unlike meditation, is worth it. Stick with it, stick with it, keep showing up and it will make a difference. It really does.
00:19:22 Nazish: Yeah, I mean, it does make a difference. That's very correct. And you talk about boundaries in a way that's deeply that's deeply tied to both your young, uh, both your healing and your business success. For a lot of women, boundaries feel terrifying because of what saying because of what? Saying no costs. Yeah. So from your experience, what's the connection between boundary body and the kind of inner peace that actually holds when life gets out loud?
00:19:56 Michelle Rogers: Yes. Yes, absolutely. So, um, there's kind of two aspects to this. Um, the first aspect is in my family life. Um, I have had to put boundaries in place against, uh, some very toxic people. And what was, uh, chaos all the time? What was walking on eggshells, so to speak. You know, every time there was a conversation, I wouldn't know which, which version of the person that I was speaking to, I would get, um, or what I would be accused of saying or not saying afterwards, uh, after the conversation or the interaction, I started putting boundaries in place and saying, you know, until you, until we can have a constructive conversation, you know, then I am not going to be part of this relationship. Or I would say, you know, it would it would start escalating and the boundary would be, you know what, I need a moment to think about this. And then I would walk away or I would say, you know, I, I let me go take a walk and I would remove myself from the situation. Um, and that's, that is a part of, you know, having boundaries. Um, and then in business. Yes. Saying no is an absolute complete sentence, you know. Um, just because someone can be pulled in a million directions saying no for your own peace of mind, so that you're not overwhelmed so that you can have some, you know, self-care time, that is a complete sentence. And those are boundaries too. So a boundary doesn't come in and say, I'm not going to do this. It can be the small little things that you are putting into place to keep your own mind and keep your own body safe. Um, so for me, how it shows up in my body is, you know, I used to get very, very anxiety ridden, uh, right before or right after an altercation. And I say altercation or, you know, that could be going, going to a birthday party or just being in the same room with someone. And then afterwards, my mind would continue to replay the every single conversation, everything that was said for days and days and days on end when I started saying, you know what? Um, I'm not going to be a part of this conversation. Um, I'm going to show up. And these are the things that, you know, I am going to do. The boundary isn't for someone else. The boundary is for you and for your healing. It's not a punishment to the other person. The boundary again is for you. And how do you feel after putting that in place? How does your body feel? How does your life look like after doing that? My mind stopped. I stopped replaying conversations over and over again. I stopped putting myself into situations that would be toxic for me. So those those were healing for me. That's what boundaries mean to me.
00:23:30 Nazish: That is such a beautiful explanation because I think boundaries as a form of body care is what is most important. And that's a frame I want listeners to sit with, because most of us think that boundaries are something we set with other peoples, and you are saying that they are all something we owe ourselves, which is so beautiful.
00:23:56 Michelle Rogers: Yes, yes. It's just as important as self care.
00:23:59 Nazish: Yeah. So Michelle, before we close, I love for our listeners to be able to find your book, your coaching, and where can they take the next step to reach you? Where should they go?
00:24:14 Michelle Rogers: Absolutely. So the book is on Amazon. It is called The Resiliency Blueprint A Life Guide to Being safe, seen, and Loved. We have a website called the Resiliency Blueprint. Um, we are on Facebook for the community and the coaching program. You can also sign up on, um, our website and um, we are also on Instagram under the resiliency blueprint.
00:24:41 Nazish: Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I will make sure to include all these details into the show notes so that a lot of people can reach out to you. Thank you so much, Michelle, for being a part of this conversation.
00:24:52 Michelle Rogers: Thank you so much for having me, and I truly, truly appreciate your time today.
00:24:58 Nazish: Wonderful. And dear listeners. Here's what I am taking with me from this conversation. Healing isn't loud. It isn't always visible. It is a slow daily returning to a body and a self that has been quietly waiting for us. And if today's conversation reached you somewhere there that hasn't been reached in a while, just stay there for a moment before you move on with your evening. Take a breath. Notice your shoulders. Maybe place a hand on your heart. That is where the work begins. Thank you so much for being here with us on inner peace, better health, and I'll see you in the next one.
