Letting Go and Growing

Kelsey Smith 0:00

I think that's the most exciting part of life, to be able to sit there and say, Okay, here's the transition of me. Here's the evolution of me, here's where I get to go. Ensure there's a version of you from a child. There's a version of you from adolescence. Here's a version of you from college and young adulthood. And then there's a version of you as you continue through life. Maybe it's the beginning of motherhood, the middle of motherhood, as you transition out as an empty nester. What does the rest of your life look like? In Yeah, the parts that you've had in the past, they're a part of you. And you should honor them and love them, even if they're things you aren't proud of. And then you get to re identify who you want to be. There's parts of you that should stay, I guarantee there are parts of you that people love that are amazing, and you want to keep those. But you're also allowed to evolve and change and become a new version, and a new edition. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys. Why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift. Once you become a mod, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.

Kelsey Smith 2:00

Whether it's summer, or just the events I have happened to have on my calendar, I've been reconnecting with a lot of people from different versions and seasons of my life. And something I've been thinking about lately is how we have these different versions of ourselves. And there's typically this like underlying theme within them. Most of us don't completely become a new person in each of the season. But sometimes things change about us. And we evolve. And we just change as we get older. And we get more skills, more experience, different things that come into who we are and how we show up. And I was talking to a friend recently, and we were talking about a mutual friend that we had, and just the version of them that was first what they are now and not good or bad just talking about that version. And I do this with myself often, if you've been listening to this for a while and connected with me, you know, I talk about a season of my life that I would have been like, here's the chapters of my life, here's my book of life. Oh, but let's not lead with chapter one, Ray. And it's not that anything bad. But I think we all carry something about our story in our life, that's not really our front and page where we want everyone to start, we're like, this is the best version. And the more and more that I unpack that, and the more that I reflect on different seasons of my life, others lives, it's so important to love those versions of us, because we have to be different versions of us to be the best version of us, right. Because if we only allow one version forever, then you can't even explore or unpack what could be, you don't know what's possible for you. Because you're not allowing yourself to create a new version. If you are only letting yourself be one flavor, one slice and one version of you, that you don't even know what you're capable of. And that doesn't mean big giant goals per se, that just means whoever you want to be. If you want to be funny, and you've never thought you're funny, then start learning some jokes and be funny. If you want to be organized and you've never been organized, you can become organized, and you're gonna have the same core personality, you're gonna be the same person that you are, but you just show up slightly differently. You live your life a little differently, whether you want to be a morning person or a night person, you want to be someone that exercises or someone that doesn't. You want to be a calm mom versus a wild and fun mom or you want to be smart and strategic or you want to be playful, and whatever it is you can be all different versions and they can all work together. But if you go about life telling yourself a story of Well, I'm not this or I'm not that, then you're going to show up that way. I was talking to someone and they were talking about how they could just never speak on stage. jezz and I have an event coming up where I'll be speaking. And I said, you know, I never really like sought out to be a speaker. It's just kind of been a part of this journey. But I'm not necessarily surprised. Because with my personality, it's not something I said I didn't want to do. Now, that being said, when I was talking to this person, I said, Well, what is it that you don't want to do about speaking? And she was like, Well, I just don't really like being in front of people. I don't really like talking. And I just, I don't know what I would talk about. I was like, okay, and we started talking more. And I started talking to her about what she was interested in and kind of unpacking different interests. And I said, Well, if you were to sit at a table with five people, just like you that were really interested in this topic, would you enjoy talking to them about it? And she was like, yeah. I said, Well, what if you would just stand up and speak to those five people? Would you enjoy that? And she kind of laughed, and she was like, why? I mean, I don't know why I would have to stand up. And I would probably feel very nervous doing that. But I mean, maybe if it was the right situation, right. And not everyone has to be a speaker. But this situation, what it made me think of is she wasn't even allowing herself to think about what that could look like for her. Just because you may not want to wear sequins on a giant stage jumping around. And dancing doesn't mean that you might not like presenting about something that you're super excited about to a very specific group of people. And if you're like, I really don't want to do either of those. That's okay. But what if you just thought about it a little more? What if you thought about something that's not currently a part of your day to day and how you show up and you thought about becoming part of it. And so it doesn't have to be speaking. But let's say, you know, I've always been a night owl, my brain is super active at night, I get a lot done at night. But I don't really want to identify as a night owl anymore. I love the idea of waking up early. When I do wake up early, I absolutely love just being up before what feels like the rest of the world and getting stuff done. And so if I identify as a night owl, and I continue to identify as a night owl, and that's the habit that I continue, and I'm not giving myself the opportunity be a morning person. And if you are like I'm just not a super tidy person, I'm not super organized. Okay, that's fine. If you're happy with that, and that's the way you want to be, that's fine. But if you're feeling like that, maybe your house is stressing you out a little bit, and you would like your space to be a little more clean and organized. How could you start identifying as a clean, organized person? Could you organize just your purse? Could you organize just the diaper bag? Could you organize just your car? Could you then organize just your nightstand? Could you then go to bed every night with just the dishes put away. And you start to unpack things that maybe you start to identify as a clean, organized person. And there really isn't a right or wrong answer. I want to make it very clear. Like if you don't want to be on stages, if you don't want to clean house, if you don't want to wake up early, that's fine. But if there is something that you look at, and you go, Oh, how cool for that person that's just isn't for me. I want you to really unpack why. Why couldn't that be for you? Why couldn't you make that part of who you are in your journey and your story? And if it's a version of you before that you're like, Well, I did this in my past or this is part of who I am. Okay, so you have a prior chapter? Do you ever know exactly how the book is going to end when you read the first chapter, I have never read a book that I know exactly what's going to happen based off the first chapter, or even like the middle chapter. That's the whole point of a plot and the storyline. So think about that for her own life. Like you're not meant to just carry one part of you forever, you're meant to pull through what is supposed to be the common theme throughout and what is supposed to just live in that one chapter and be done with. So when you think about your life as a book, like when you literally think if you were holding a book in your hand, and it was your book, and you flipped through each chapter, and you're like chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, and you look through all those different chapters, and you think about where they fit in your life. What are the ones that you can just stay in that chapter? And when you think about the chapters to come, how will they look different? How will the evolution of the versions of who you are change and evolve? I think that's the most exciting part of life, to be able to sit there and say, Okay, here's the transition of me. Here's the evolution of me, here's where I get to go. Ensure there's a version of you from a child. There's a version of you from adolescence. There's a version of you from college and young adulthood. And then there's a version of you as you continue through life. Maybe it's the beginning of motherhood, the middle of motherhood, as you transition out as an empty nester, what does the rest of your life look like? And yeah, the parts that you've had in the past, they're a part of you. And you should honor them and love them, even if they're things you're not proud of. And then you get to re identify who you want to be. There's parts of you that should stay, I guarantee there are parts of you that people love that are amazing. And you want to keep those. But you're also allowed to evolve and change and become a new version, and a new edition, if you will. So I love you so much, Mama, I just want to encourage you to redefine whoever you want to be. You can be truly anyone you want to be at any stage of your life. People completely change your identities in a year. You want to become a opera singer, you go for it. You want to be a comedian, you got it. You just want to hang out more sail on the water, whew, to heal. But identify what feels so good to you. And go after that. And guess what you might change your mind again, you might in a couple of months, or even a year or two years. Be like you know what that was that chapter. And now I'm not into a new one. But you always get to change, you always get to evolve. And I can't wait to hear what's next for this next chapter. But don't let a past season or a past version of you stop you from becoming who you're meant to be. Because that version of you. It needs you to be unlocked. And old. You wants to see where you're gonna go. They already got to be that version of you. They're like, stop trying to be like me copy the new version. Right? All right, send you love mommoth Keep going after those goals.

Kelsey Smith: 11:55

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