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Episode 3 features a professional caregiver in the private home care industry. Learn more about her caregiving journey!

Our population is aging and the need for caregivers is growing!

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Watch previous episodes:

The Science of Successful & Healthy Aging with Dr. Dilip Jeste

https://youtu.be/jJ5Uyc7IrlQ

A Conversation with the California Commission on Aging Legislative Director, Leza Coleman

https://youtu.be/uesdQmi1iVQ

Additional resources:

https://estatejobs.com

Care.com

https://www.care.com

Book reference:

The 36-Hour Day

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Greetings and welcome to this special conversation on aging.

You know what we say, we're never too young to think about the aging issues

and all that goes along with that.

I'm Kimberly Gunn.

I'm your host for today's conversation and executive director of Zoom Catchers.

We are gonna be joined by a private caregiver who is going to

tell us her caregiving journey.

Super excited to have her be a part of this conversation.

Welcome,

welcome.

Hi, how are you?

I'm doing great.

How are you?

I'm well, thank you.

I just finished my first week in a new job, so rather excited

and, and, and perfect timing for this conversation to, break down what

goes on in the world of, of caregiving.

And, first I wanna just put a, a golden spotlight on all the

caregivers that are out there.

They are holding down the fort.

For millions of Americans, according to my research, there's 4.5 million

direct care workers that provide care for people in homes, residential care

homes, nursing homes, and hospitals.

And by 2028, the need for a direct paid care workforce is expected

to go by 1.1 million people.

So, Elle, you are in the perfect job because there is a, a huge need for it.

So please tell us more about yourself and how you got into

the private caregiving industry.

well it was actually by accident.

I've always been in the corporate world and sort of dreamt that when I

was going to finish with that part of working, I'm not the kind of person to.

Stay home and sit on the sofa and just watch tv.

So I always thought I would love to get in the private home service industry

more like being a, a Major Domo or a Butler or something to that effect.

And I lost my job in 2008 during the financial debacle and one day my

really secure job, went up and smoke.

And, there were no jobs.

I mean, no traditional jobs.

Companies were downsizing, people were laying off.

I couldn't even get a job for $10 an hour, and it was a little distressing.

So I decided that, I guess that was the time that I should, explore what

I thought I was gonna be during my.

Semi-retirement to go into it now, and it took me a while because when

you're in private care, you have to have a minimum of five years

references of working in the home.

So no matter your level of education or your experience, That you have to offer.

they say, well, that's all lovely and wonderful, but if you don't have those

references of working in homes and they're, you know, a lot of artwork

and, people have to be secure that the person that they're letting into

their home is safe and, has a great background and has those references.

So it took me five years of accumulating these references.

And then I had, I was living in Atlanta at the time.

And then I had an opportunity to move, back up to New York, which is

really, where that industry in the private home service was thriving.

And I've been doing that ever since 2011.

Wow.

So you've, you've clocked some, some years and you have a, a wealth of

experience and we really appreciate you being here to discuss that.

As I said at the top of the show, the need for caregivers is really gonna

be growing, both in the, the public sector, public caregiving, and the

private caregiving sector as well.

I do wanna put a spotlight on the public caregivers.

I wanna highlight I H S S caregivers and they're providing, support for

like a half a million Californians.

So super excited to be able to talk about that.

I do want to though, make a distinction between the public caregiving side

and the private caregiving side.

If you could just talk a little bit more about your private caregiving

experiences and the difference between those two, that'd be great.

Well, I, actually started out in housekeeping.

I, was, as I said, trying to strive to be sort of like a major butler, major

Domo house manager, and, the situations that I ran into because of the increased.

Aging of our population.

I was always, seemed to be working for some seniors in some capacities, 60,

70, 80, and I just sort of ended up.

Being promoted into taking care of someone in their family,

someone's husband, someone's wife.

And then that became my expertise.

It wasn't really my intention, but it's turned out to be

a very rewarding position.

and, private home care though is a bit different than, The, residential

caregivers, there's a difference in, in wage for sure, and, I work

for families that can afford to pay, For the care of their loved ones,

which is really very, very important.

Not that, this, these families can afford to pay for it, but the percentage

of people who can afford it, I'm sure is a lot smaller than the percentage

of families that are now discovering.

That they did not prepare for either their parent or their, spouse to be

in a health crisis that does require care, and then all of a sudden the

finances hit them and it can be very, very overwhelming and expensive.

And you

know, you, you touched on a really important point cause I think,

you know, I would imagine a lot of caregivers end up in this industry because

they kind of fall into it, or outta necessity, maybe, didn't necessarily

plan for it, but life circumstances kind of, Got them into those positions.

And I was wondering if you could, talk more about the duties and responsibilities

that, a caregiver has and what your, what a typical day might look like for you.

If there is such a thing as a

typical day, I.

Yeah, there, there is.

the first thing, if you're interested in getting into this kind of field, cuz it

is gonna be growing, the demand will be there and you can earn, a living is, you

never could ever say, that's not my job.

There are a variety of things that will crop up.

You're taking care of an individual and when you're dealing with private homes,

some of these homes have other staff.

They might have a a cook or they might have a laundress, but when

you're dealing with the individual and the family, many times you end up.

Taking care of their personal needs so you can, assist them in the shower

if they're not that mobile and they, you know, they have to sit in one

of those chairs in the shower and, and you have to help them bathe.

you have to help them dress.

You clean their clothes, you, you wash their clothes because they're just,

they, they're your individual unit.

A lot of times you prepare their dinner.

and a lot of times I've, I've cooked, not that I've had to cook, but.

They're been on a special diet and they only can they have to do a low salt or

a low sugar, or there's certain things they can and can't eat, and you learn

that and you're almost like a guardian so that you make sure that the things that

will help to keep this patient happy.

And alive and functioning.

It sort of rests on your shoulders.

you manage their medicine, you make sure they take their medicine,

whatever the requirements, daily, three times a day, every other day.

you have to notify whomever it's is in the family that's possibly

managing the doctors, and you can tell them that they need, you know,

Advise them what you're running out of and what has to be, renewed.

But after a while, it all, when you, when you do a good job, next thing you

know, you're pa basically doing all the jobs, but it's, you know, taking care

of one person is, can be challenging because in my position, I usually

live it in the home and that means that I can be there for, five nights.

Five days, five nights, and I'm basically living there.

I have my own private room in a private bath, and I do have a few

hours off per day, but I'm actually living with the patient and caring

for them, at a day and night basis.

and when you do that, the nighttime is something that people have to be very

aware of because the, the standard equipment is some kind of a, a sensor.

So if your, person that you're taking care of is trying to get out of bed and

they could possibly fall, this sensor rings a bell in your bedroom, and

that can be anywhere from 2, 3, 4, 5 o'clock in the morning more than once.

Which means you've gotta get up, go check, make sure they're okay, and, uh, get

them resettled, find out what their need is, and then go back to sleep maybe for

two hours before that bell rings again.

So, there's, you know, but, and, and there's probably a lot of

things I haven't even mentioned.

You just have to really be open and accepting, to care for the person

that you've been hired to do so for.

And I think that, cause I'm also a caregiver for my aunt,

you ran through a list of things.

I'm like, I, I do that.

Check, check, check.

You know, and it obviously can sound, or it obviously sounds difficult and,

and, and can be challenging at times.

But, you've been a private caregiver for a while now.

What would you say are some of the most rewarding aspects of this kind of work?

it's, you know, it's not like I would really

think a lot of the jobs that I'm doing, I would find as rewarding.

What is rewarding is when you are hired by very concerned family members

who are worried about their, their mother or somebody in the family,

their husband, whoever could be their child that, they're so thrilled.

On the job that you're doing, that you're making a lot of people relaxed

and feeling very comfortable that, their family member is being cared

for, and that that patient is also very happy that you're there taking

care of them because they trust you.

So that, that's the most rewarding thing, is when you gain their

trust and, their appreciation.

Then you just keep going on.

And you know, to go along with that, what would you

say are some of the, the biggest challenges that a caregiver faces?

I know that, you know, there are a lot of people out there, they have a big

heart and they wanna do this kind of work, but what kind of advice would you

give for, for a caregiver that wants to get into this industry, in this field?

as far as things that they could expect and anticipate.

Specifically, I am in the private home.

I've, I, I don't work in nursing homes or in residential

houses or anything like that.

So I am walking into a family's private home and there could be a

lot of dynamics going on in there.

And I add.

To it by just existing and while you're existing, you have to learn to not exist.

It's almost sort of trying to be as calmly, non-existent while walking

around doing what you have to do.

Many times the family member has.

They're the person that I'm taking care of in a separate wing of the

house, maybe in a separate apartment.

So we may not, interact with the rest of the family, every day.

But, you have to deal with a multitude of personalities and

sometimes even the, person that you're caring for can have, An adjustment.

I'm trying to be very diplomatic here in their attitude

towards you from day to day.

And that has to do with the condition of their health or, primarily what really is

going to be the largest sector to care for going forward is Alzheimer's and dementia.

And that is a, very, very grueling.

tireless, position because you're now, dealing with a person who is not

remembering who they are or, how to act or how to be, and you have to,

approach them and deal with them in a very gentle and non catastrophic.

And that really is a word that is used when you're dealing with people

that have ongoing, developing dementia is you could say something simple to

like, well, why are you doing that?

You've never done that before.

And that could set them off, into some angry tirade.

And that's not who that person used to be, but that.

That's who that person is turning into now.

And so that can be, that could take a lot of energy and you have

to be prepared, to, to give that.

And to follow up on that, um, do you or did you get specialized

training specifically to deal with Alzheimer's or dementia patients?

No, I just.

Ended up having somebody who had early onset dementia, and I learned

while doing the job, and it got to the point where I was, exhausted.

Because I, I don't know, I'll talk to the mothers out there, but I the fathers too.

When you have a new baby coming into the house, all of a sudden

you don't sleep soundly anymore.

You always have one ear kind of open to listen to the baby crying

or something, and you respond.

Well, when you're dealing with a person of dementia, they can get

up in the middle of the night and go roaming all over the place.

So again, you are, you're just, you know, you're listening and you're always.

On, and, someone recommended a book to me, and the name of

the book is 36 Hours in a Day.

I, I don't know who the author is, I don't remember, but I did read it and

there were a lot of terrific tips in there on how to manage situations, how

to prevent these catastrophic reactions, maybe to the way in which you speak

to them and one of their primary.

items that they kept pounding into in, in this book is that you

need to take care of yourself.

If caregivers do not take care of themselves, they're going

to, collapse because you could be doing this all the time.

So, And especially I would think that this book would be very beneficial for

family members who have found themselves to be the caregiver because they can't

afford to have somebody work 24 hours and then that family member becomes isolated.

they don't go out anymore because they feel they can't, they

don't make arrangements to have somebody fill in for an afternoon.

So they could even just go sit in the park and breathe air and, and

not have to worry about constantly being on and constantly caring.

So it was very helpful to, to have that kind of, enlightenment in this

book cuz I was just going along and then this book helped me realize some

of the things I needed to do and some of the things that I was reacting to

that was normal and how to fix them.

And, and thank you for, for bringing that up, that the whole

issue of self-care, it's sort of like, take care of yourself before

you can really take care of others.

And I think Yep.

when we're dealing with, patients or clients that have ongoing, needs that your

clients might, or my aunt or other family members, it can be really difficult to

keep that in the forefront of our minds like, I need to take care of myself.

You know, how do I take care of myself in the midst of taking care of other people?

And how, how do you decompress from, from a long, work shift?

well, I don't do those anymore.

So, this recent job, I, I sort of for three years have been

designing a job only in my mind.

And, my agent's been laughing at me because she thinks I was dreaming

and I actually, found a great job.

Then I do quite a lot of hours, but it's in three days.

Full-time, 24 hours.

And so I basically book a week's worth of work in a small period of time.

And, it's easier for me to decompress because I now have more time at home.

if a lot of people are working the way I used to work, which is five days a week.

Sometimes 24 hour shifts.

sometimes I, I wouldn't come home just because by the time I came home and I

slept, I had to get up and go again, and it's kind of like a waste of time.

So I would stay.

And then when I did come home on my two days off, I was working for myself,

housework, mail, bills, groceries, laundry, whatever it is that I didn't

do for the week that I was away.

So it was hard to decompress.

when you're working that kind of a schedule, I mean, you know, think of

nurses, you know, sometimes they're gone for six days and it takes a couple of days

just to realize that you're back at home.

So I'm not sure I decompressed really well cuz I was always moving.

Mm-hmm.

And, and I appreciate your honesty.

Cause I think, a big part of it is just, uh, big part of self-care is

acknowledging, the difficulties and the challenges and, Hey, hi, I'm here.

I'm a person I need, I need some care and some love too.

Right.

Yeah.

Now what, what kind of, tips and advice would you give someone who, let's say

someone's, taking care of a family member, but they want to make it more of a,

profession, what would you, advise them?

Do?

well, for my industry, again, private home care, that is,

you have to be prepared to, live in because a lot of these families really

are concerned about the nighttime.

some of them have.

Shifts.

So they'll have two people do 12 hour day and then a 12 hour, hour at night.

And if you have someone to work with, then sometimes you can intermingle

and you do two weeks at night and two weeks a day so that you have a little

time of, you know, you're not just working all one shift all the time.

if you wanna make money, Then it's, and and it's very sad to say that

working in like a residential home as a nurse's assistant or even working

as a caregiver through an agency that, gets the jobs and then they hire you

out for how much time this family would want, the pay is very, very low.

And that's something that I think really needs to be improved with the increased.

Of aging that's going to be happening.

So if you're looking to make money in that field, you might wanna make sure that you

have all your certificates that you get.

You go to the Red Cross and you get the c p a, certificate that,

maybe you get some special training.

you can learn to give needles or to like put an iv, if you do, if you do some extra

training for yourself, so that you're not just a person who is going to be an aid.

But you are an individual that has shown that you are interested in getting

into this field and that you have, pretty good credentials behind you if

you wanna get into private home care.

what I did is in order to get the references for working in a home, I

was one of these, day I, I got jobs on care.com and I would clean people's homes.

And sometimes I did two homes a day, and that after a while, you know,

people were very happy with me.

I was in their home, and I asked the ones that I, I thought, would be

happy to write a reference for me.

And I accumulated my references that way.

And with the training that you do, that you add to yourself so that you can really

show that you have, a good credential and you have references of living in the

home, then they have, special agencies.

These are employment agencies.

These are not agencies that you work for the agency and they

take a percentage of your pay.

This is just an agency that finds, uh, that families call because

families don't really wanna be involved in the, interviewing process.

And if they feel that you match a particular family and their needs,

uh, you go to them that you interview, you get hired, and then the family

pays you and they're your boss.

Okay.

So all you people out there that wanna become, uh, professional caregivers,

you heard it straight from the private caregiver, that there's some, those

are some steps that you can take.

And on the other side of that, what um, advice would you have for families

that wanna hire a, a private caregiver?

What, what are the, let's say top three things they should be looking out for?

Well, if you, the agency, because you really to be a private

caregiver, you have to go through one of these agencies if anybody's interested.

there's a website.

We'll, we'll give you an indication as to what the private industry has and what it

offers and the jobs that are available.

And it's called estate jobs.com.

And this is not an agency, this is, an industry clearing house.

So all the agencies that work under this, Private home care or just

private service, whether you're a, a laund or a housekeeper, a

personal assistant, many things.

the agency would post a job on their website and then they pay a fee to

have it posted on this estate job.

So all the agencies post there and, and you'll kind of get a better idea as.

To, what is available.

these families do not want to, as I said earlier, deal with the, uh,

whole, uh, process of interviewing and gathering people and clearing them.

So the agency does all of it.

By the time you're presented to the family, you've had a background check,

all your references have been checked, you have been vetted and approved to qualify.

To be an applicant in that agency.

And then they sh they, you know, send you out on interviews to various jobs.

It's, it's, it's very interesting.

And then as we, as I said at the top of the shell, you know, we're moving

closer to 20 28, 20 30, where the need is going to grow exponentially.

And, with your years of experience in the industry, what have you noticed?

How has the industry evolved for better or for worse?

You know, I, I, I don't feel qualified to really

answer that question because I'm not really in the industry per se.

I didn't, you know, train to be a caregiver.

I, I'm not a nurse.

I just happen to, have, The, I guess the compassion to wanna take

care of a person and to do it well.

I'm not squirmish about having to help somebody bathe or, change

them or clean them for that matter.

a lot of people are in incontinent or you have to change, bags and, so, you

know, I've learned through experience, not because I came from that industry,

have you noticed any changes since the, since

the pandemic in particular?

Cause I know that, you know, during the pandemic a lot of caregivers,

kind of left the field and, and went to pursue other things.

Have you noticed any, any changes along those lines or not necessarily?

Yep.

Very, very much so.

I, my one job ended in May of 2021 and, for, not pandemic reasons, but

uh, other reasons of, um, he just really needed, uh, male attendance

cuz he needed more assistance being.

Picked up and, uh, I just, I, I couldn't continue to do that.

And that was May, 2021.

And I just got a, a, a job a week ago, and we're in 2023, so that's a long haul.

So prior to, the pandemic, the jobs were posted, in private home care or.

And in the private industry, there are a lot of jobs that families that are

very busy and they have a, you know, they're CEOs or they're corporate

presidents, they're, multinational business people and they don't have

time to be dealing with the laundry and the cooking and the driving.

And so they hire people to do that.

All the executives and, and people who need to hire people in the

home would have multiple staff.

And what happened after or during the pandemic?

I think they managed to, rearrange their staff.

So if they hired somebody to be the laundress, maybe that person was

also the caregiver for their parent.

They were very hesitant to hire any additional new people to come in.

And then there was all of.

These, these issues with people who didn't wanna be vaccinated and, and

everybody, this industry, you've gotta be vaccinated if you're now vaccinated.

don't even try because nobody wants to let people come in their home if

they're not, vaccinated with the covid.

I don't mean that they have to continue being vaccinated, but at least have the

initial vaccine and, and booster that.

Definitely is a requirement and the jobs have, basically,

disappeared for the last two years.

It's only recently that they've started to come back, very gingerly.

So I think people are more hesitant now to have more people

in their home than they had before.

And that's, that's so interesting cuz you know, it leads into

my next question about, What do you see, as the, the future of caregiving?

what, what is the, what are the, the trends would you say?

I know that, you know, a lot of people are talking about, you know, the technology

and how that might, um, alleviate some of the, some of the burden and, and the need.

But at the same time, caregiving is a, is a high touch industry.

So what do you see as the, as the future?

I, I trends, I would just see the personal care that I'm doing.

I, I don't see any trends.

one of the interesting parts of why I personally might be, more desirable for,

people to hire, uh, for their seniors, cuz I myself am a senior so I can relate.

To, people who are telling me about rotary phones or how the computer wasn't

even invented when they were a kid.

And I mean, I can relate to that.

When you have a 25 year old talking to somebody who's 90, there's definitely,

th things kind of pass in the night that there's no comprehension.

As far as technology, again, with the aged, A lot of people have

refused to deal with and accept technology maybe 50 years from now.

The young people today who are going to be seniors 50 years from now would

be a little bit more accepting of technology, but I don't think technology

is gonna be anything that's gonna be very helpful other than, The, oxygenator.

So you can put the, thing on the finger and you can see how much oxygen.

That's helpful.

the automatic blood press pressure taker, that's helpful.

But other than that, I think personal touch, personal care, and caregiving

also, encompasses a lot of companionship because you need to engage them and have

conversation and have them feel that they're still in command of themselves and

they're still a regular, everyday person.

They're not just.

Some, patient that somebody comes in and takes care of and then leaves.

So I'm not sure what technology can do to fill in those kind of gaps.

that's a good wave of looking at it.

It's, you know, people are talking about robots and caregiver robots

and all kinds of things, and I think we're, I think we're, a bit

away from that in this country.

I know other countries like the Japanese are, are utilizing that.

So we'll see.

but really appreciate you being on our program, discussing

issues around caregiving.

There's just gonna be such a need for it as we continue to move towards 2030.

And what would you, what kind of advice would you give for families

who, you know may have a family member.

who is in need of care?

Maybe it's not right now, but it's coming down the line.

How would you advise families to start to even have the

conversation to think about it?

Well, you know, there's long-term care insurance.

some of it, when you start, don't look at the cost of that insurance as prohibitive

because the cost of care when you don't have coverage is beyond prohibitive.

So financially, work out, even if it's short-term care, if you get sick and

you know that, but then the short-term tear runs out after several months and

then you're back to having someone in your family, having to take care of you,

which can really cause, some resentment even though that person doesn't.

Wanna really feel resentment their life has stopped in order to take care of you.

So the dynamics of, and also actually when you think about it, or I just

came to mind, be healthy, don't.

go down and drink lots of alcohol, which, you know, once in a while it's okay.

I have a cocktail in the evening.

all that greasy food that you used to eat when you were 25, you

know, look at it second and third time and just kind of reject it.

Start eating at really healthy diet and take care of yourself.

Exercise.

Imagine yourself unable to walk.

And that in that practice, and that thought alone should get you, jarred

enough to realize that if you don't keep yourself in an ambulatory situation

and that your blood pressure is not sky high and that you haven't eaten

yourself into diabetes and you're not overweight, and you will have a much

happier aging process than, people who.

Figure they, you know, a lot of people think that they're healthy and they

could just keep treating their body that way, and eventually it, backfires

on them and then they're in a pickle.

So there's not only a financial aspect, which is an extremely difficult one,

and, I don't even know how to solve that.

But do some research and try and prepare yourself for that part of it,

but also take care of yourself so that, You can be 85 and still be playing

poker and having a good time while you're drinking your bottle of water

and your cocktail.

Right?

Yeah.

Well watered down cocktail

Great.

That, that's great advice because you know, I think.

For, for many people the issue isn't the chronological age, but it's the

condition of your physical body, right?

Yep.

And you know, hopefully, hopefully for those people out there that may

need, a caregiver in, in their golden years, they'll be lucky enough to find

someone like you or, or you personally.

So, you know, we, we really want to lean into, the idea that we all need to, a, be

mindful of our health, but also be hopeful and plan for, for our caregiving needs.

Needs either for ourselves or for our loved ones.

Mm-hmm.

And there's a lot of great, you know, this website

care.com, has really, grown.

I would tell a lot of people about it, and everybody seems to know about it already.

So I guess it's been out there long enough and you really can find.

caregivers, you, register your job and you put in your radius of miles.

You want somebody to work, come and work in your home that's

within 10 mile radius of your home.

And you'll be surprised the amount of people that are registered on care.com,

they do background checks and it's, you know, anywhere from 25 to $30 an hour.

Sometimes you can get someone at 20, but, it's not really lower than that,

but still there's a lot of very nice and, compassionate people out there

that are already in the industry waiting for you to select them.

There it is, folks, all you, caregivers or future caregivers.

You, you have some options out there.

It was a state jobs.com and, and care.com and also, you know, just

keep a, an eye out for opportunities that may come up also in the

public healthcare giving space.

Elle, it has been a pleasure having you on any final parting words or

thoughts, for all of us who are probably gonna be in need of care.

You know what?

When you become the patient who needs the care, be kind to your caregiver.

we all get cranky and we all change in some way.

As we get older, we get mad at ourselves and then we end

up getting mad at the world.

But don't be mad at your caregiver.

Really.

There it is, everybody.

Don't be mad.

Your caregiver, love your caregiver, and and they'll love you back.

They'll probably love you anyway, but they'll, yeah,

they'll love you anyway, but they'll be, they'll, they'll be able

to, they'll go home and decompress nicer.

Absolutely.

Elle, it has been a pleasure having you on.

We really appreciate your service.

I know that you have been in this industry for, for years, and I'm sure your

clients and the families and the people.

The lives of the people that you've touched, it has made a tremendous

impact for for many people.

So thank you once again and thank you for being here and joining

us for this special presentation.

Conversations on Aging.

The caregiving component is a huge part of that and it will continue to be, to do so.

And for those people that want to find out more information about the,

information that that el provided, there'll be links in the description.

you're welcome.

And that's a wrap.

Folks.