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• Mindset

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Listen in as Jennifer Takagi, founder of Takagi Consulting, 5X time Amazon.Com Best Selling-Author, Certified Soul Care Coach, Certified Jack Canfield Success Principle Trainer, Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst and Facilitator of the DISC Behavioral Profiles, Certified Change Style Indicator Facilitator, Law of Attraction Practitioner, and Certified Coaching Specialist - leadership entrepreneur, speaker and trainer, shares the lessons she’s learned along the way.  Each episode is designed to give you the tools, ideas, and inspiration to lead with integrity. Humor is a big part of Jennifer’s life, so expect a few puns and possibly some sarcasm.  Tune in for a motivational guest, a story or tips to take you even closer to that success you’ve been coveting.  Please share the episodes that inspired you the most and be sure to leave a comment.  

Official Website: http://www.takagiconsulting.com

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I look forward to connecting with you soon,  Jennifer

Jennifer Takagi

Speaker, Trainer, Author, Catalyst for Healing

PS: We would love to hear from you! For questions, coaching, or to book interviews, please email my team at Jennifer@takagiconsulting.com

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

host, Jennifer Takagi, and on this episode, we're going to

talk about baby steps to fixing yourself. Last week, we talked

with Karen sarmento, and she was talking about what you don't fix

on yourself, you pass on to others, which is really true.

It's really true. Someone once told me that they had a plan

when they grew up and had children that they were never

going to say because I said so. It bothered her a lot when her

mom would say, because I said, so. So she had this really

strong desire to say anything else, but that was not going to

be in her vocabulary. And she gets married, she has children,

and she catches herself very consistently saying because I

said so. And I know there are those phases with children where

they ask 40 bazillion questions, why, why, why. And then as

adults, we just kind of beat the why out of them, not necessarily

physically, I hope, but in our actions, in our words and how we

act and react to them. So how do you go from saying I'm never

gonna say that to actually not saying it like, how do you do

that? What's, what's that step? How does, what does that look

like? So for me, I'm gonna say what that looks like is make a

different plan. If you're in a leadership position, and you've

seen other leaders do it really poorly, and you're adamant that

you're not going to do it that way, come up with a plan. This

is what they did, and I didn't like it, and this is something I

can do instead. You may not have a clear path initially, but if

you start asking the question, when they scream and yell and

act a fool, what can I do? I had a boss one time. We she was my

boss, and then we were equals at one point, like, do you know

sometimes positions change around in the in the office, and

there was somebody who was just really a negative Nancy pain in

the butt, and stirred the pot. And I'm just gonna say, still

stirs the pot. And one day I said, How do you deal with that?

Like constantly, it's been years. How do you deal with

that? And she said something that was so powerful. She said,

one time, I lost my cool, and I raised my voice to her, and I

promised myself I would never do that again. I raised my voice to

her once, and I promised myself I would never do it again. So

there was an action that she didn't like, and she decided to

do it differently next time. So you have a boss that screams and

yells and acts a fool. Unfortunately, I had a few of

those. You've heard about them off and on through the years. I

can't believe I have this podcast, and I can actually say

years, because that's still a little bit shocking to me, that

I've been doing this for literally years, and it's, it's

that idea of, I don't want to scream and yell and act a fool,

so what am I going to do instead? I'm going to take a

deep breath, I'm going to step back and look at the situation.

I'm going to stop the meeting and walk away and then get a

level head and come back. One of Brendon Burchard, amazing things

is he has clients put three words on an alarm on their

phone, so that you can remember how you want to show up in the

world, how you want to be seen. And he tells the story that he

was literally in a meeting with his team, and he was getting

very upset, and something had not gone according to plan, and

his phone chimed, and he looked down, and it had his three

words, and he realized in that moment he was not acting the way

he put that he wanted to act, so he stopped the meeting. He said,

let's take a 10 minute break. He came back, he apologized, and

they proceeded on in a much more professional manner, just

because you can scream and yell and act. To fool and get away

with it doesn't mean it's right, and in my personal, humble

opinion, when a supervisor screams and yells and acts a

fool, they're destroying the team in some way. It might be

just a little crack that day, but every day, the crack gets

bigger and bigger every time that happens. So as we get

started in this, how are we going to fix ourselves? I'm

going to say, when you say, I hate that behavior, I hate the

way they handle that, then is the time for you to come up with

a plan for how you're going to do it. So I've got my three

points that I typically go through, and today is no

different. So one is wire your brain if you have gotten my free

gift, 12, one, two, the number 1212, minute gift com is a three

part audio series on 12 minutes to success, like the the things

that you can do, I do do, and, you know, raise your level of

success. But the first one is the win methodology, and it's W.

The first episode is on W is for wire your brain. Your brain has

been wired, probably since conception. If you don't want to

go that far back, let's just say, since birth, things

happened around you. You experience the world as we

experience the world, we make connections. Our brain is

amazing, but it doesn't want to make a new connection every

time, so it goes and find something similar and says, yep,

that's the value, that's the belief. That's what happens if I

do this. That's what happens like I know the end result. So

it's all been wired and it's all been set up. If you upset me, I

scream and yell and act a fool, right? I mean, that's just like

a good example. Since I've already brought that up today.

When you identify, and you can do this over time, it doesn't

have to be like, I'm going to sit down and just like, flood a

notebook of all the all the negative things that I say to

myself or to others, but as it happens, like, jot it down and

then write down what you could say instead. What can you say

instead? Is it one thing? Is it 10 things like, what can you

say? How can you do that differently? Come up with at

least one, if not three, and then refer to it from time to

time, so you can start embedding that. Yeah, when that happens,

this is how I'm going to respond, because I want to show

up as a leader. People want to follow the I and when is.

Imagine your life. Imagine your life as children, we dreamed

this is what I'm going to do. This is how I'm going to be.

This is, you know, what I want to be when I grow up. And then

sometimes we do it, sometimes we don't. I changed a lot on what I

wanted to be when I grew up. And guess what? Changed how I am,

who I am, what I am, what I offer over time. So imagine that

I had a conversation literally in the last week or two with

someone, and I was married once before for 12 months and 11

days, and we dated off and on for five years before we got

married. And I can honestly say I got married because my mom

said, always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Jennifer's

never going to get married so many times that it was like, I

just have to get this knocked out. Like I have to, like, do

it. And bless her heart, she was not trying to be mean in any

way. But she got married at 16 years old, so she could not

comprehend that I was in my 20s and still single. But it was a

bad choice. It was a bad choice all the way around. And we were

married for 12 months and 11 days, and we split up, and it

took a couple months to get divorced, even though we really

didn't have anything. But, you know, these things take time,

and it was just like a weight off my shoulder. It was like,

huh, yeah, I'm out of there.

And a woman came to speak at the office sometime later. And I

worked for the Department of Housing and Urban Development,

and we had a women's program, because at the time, the

majority of women in federal government, and it could still

be this time, this way, which would be very sad and

embarrassing, but at the time, we had very few women that were

any in any type of position other than clerical or

secretarial. Very few people. Had what you would call a

journeyman or a technical job, and even fewer were in

management positions. So they set up a women's program, and we

would bring in people to speak and to train, to build skills,

and also we would do fundraisers, and if somebody

wanted to take a class at a community college or vo tech,

they could apply to have us pay us fellow employees. It wasn't

the government. It was fellow employees pay for them to take a

class so that they could be prepared for a promotion. And a

woman, I believe she, was the assistant secretary of education

for the state of Oklahoma at the time. I think that's who that

was. And she came in and talked, and she talked about how she was

divorced with a couple of kids, and the youngest one was like

eight or nine, and she was dating two different men,

nothing serious yet. And she needed to decide, like, who am I

going to date? Like, what I need to I need to break off with one,

which one do I want to do I want to date? So she made a list of

all the things she wanted out of a partner, and she needed

somebody who, like, had a job, which that was first on my list,

because my first husband didn't work very much, but he had to

have a job. He had to like children. He had to be okay. And

now I'm just making this up because I don't remember, but it

was like not having more children, because her youngest

is, like, nine now, and she didn't want to have any more and

start over again, but he had to be good to her son. And so she

had this list of, I'll say, requirements that she wanted out

of a man. And after I heard that, because I was divorced at

this point, and I thought, yeah, what do I want out of a man? So

I had my list. And number one was, you have to have a job. And

not only have a job, you needed to have it a while. Like, just

because you've had a job a month didn't really count for me. You

had to have it a while. And I'd really prefer it if you owned a

home. Having a mortgage on that home was fine, but not living in

an apartment like you had to be established somewhat, and then

you had to have a car, and it had to run like that was kind of

a thing. And a boat like I just in my little wish list, I threw

in he had to have a boat. I don't know how much time passed,

a year, two years, and I meet my husband now, and we've been

married over 32 years at this point, and it was like, Oh, he

has a job. He's been there over 10 years. He has a house, he has

a car. And just put the icing on the cake, he had a boat. He had

a boat. And so we put these things out there. We say what we

want, and it doesn't matter what your belief system is. Is it law

of attraction? Is it spirit? Is it universe? Is it God? I don't

care. It doesn't matter. But things happen. You decide you

want something to happen. Things can happen. So imagine your

life. Imagine what you want when you wake up in the morning and

your feet hit the floor, do you want your feet to hit carpet or

tile or wood, or do you want it to be a dirt floor? Because you

want to, you know, live in some area where they're huts and you

have a dirt floor when you stand up or sand. How do you want your

feet to hit the floor? What do you want your day to be like?

What temperature Do you want? I had lunch with a friend, and she

said, Oh, we I want to go on a trip to the Canary Islands. And

I went into chat, G, P, T, I'm really getting into this AI

situation. And I put I want to go to the Canary Islands. How

much are plane tickets from Oklahoma City, we might say, two

weeks or a month. How much is the Airbnb? What would it cost

to go out one nice meal a day, and when is the temperature the

best, because did you know? I did not know this. I knew the

Canary Islands were part of Spain's but I thought they were

on the east coast of Spain, over by Mallorca. Nope, they are on

the west coast of Africa, the west coast of Africa. Who knew?

A lot of people knew, probably hundreds of 1000s, if not

millions of people knew that. I just didn't know. So I looked at

my friend and I said, there can be high winds and or hot

temperature if you're on an island in the ocean like it,

that can happen. And so I asked, When are the winds? Is less and

when are the temperatures more moderate? And lo and behold, it

came back, and it listed like 456, months to choose from. And

then it said Your best bet would be May or September. And she

just looked at me, and she goes, Great, we're gonna figure this

out for May or September. We can get the answers. What do you

want? What do you want it to be? I spent a month, the month of

october 2024 in Spain, and I went with a friend of mine, my

husband, yes, he was invited to come for a week, and he said,

No, so don't feel all sorry for him. He was invited. He said,

No, which is fine, but he tells everybody, oh, Jennifer left me.

I did it. You were invited. So when we're going to Spain, she

wanted to go one place. I didn't want to go there. Why? Because

it was October, it was going to be cold. I didn't want to go

there. I wanted to go to a beach town that was in southern Spain,

not northern Spain. We ended up in Marbella, Spain, which is

stunning. We wanted an apartment in Airbnb with a view. Guess

what? We got a view. We literally looked out our

windows, both bedroom windows and the living room and the

balcony all looked out onto the Mediterranean Sea, and we didn't

want to pay an arm and leg for it, and we did not, because we

stayed a whole month. The price plummeted, literally plummeted.

Also, we went off season. October's off season. We were in

a super nice, super beautiful, super safe place. I felt

completely safe and comfortable the whole time I was there. I

loved it. There was never a time where I was like, Ooh, this is

sketchy like that can happen here in Oklahoma City, but I

never ended up in places like that. It was all wonderful and

magnificent. But we imagined what it would be, what we wanted

to do. We had a couple of work goals, business goals we wanted

to accomplish. One of them, we got, like, I don't know, 80% the

way complete. And I came home and that was, like, top of my

list. I'm knocking this out because I hadn't gotten it done.

It was great. So imagine what you want. A few years ago, a

friend said, Oh, for my birthday, I want to go on a

destination trip somewhere, where you go. And I don't know

how many of us there were, 1520, I don't know it was, it seemed

like a lot. And we went to Memphis, Tennessee. I'd never

been to Memphis, and we went and we celebrated her birthday. And

I thought I've already been. So this was in April, and I thought

I've already been somewhere in January, February, March, and

now April, I'm going to go someplace every month for the

rest of this year. Well, let me tell you people that was all of

22 all of 23 and 24 I had a couple of months where the only

place I went was to our little lake place, but it's over a two

hour drive, so I think that counts. So I like got this whole

rhythm of going somewhere, doing something, working along the

way. Have laptop world travel. Imagine your life. What do you

want it to be? You may not want to travel at all. I mentioned an

airport, and there are some friends of mine. They like get

hives. They don't want to get on an airplane. They don't want to

go to an airport. They're not doing it. You don't have to. My

lifestyle is not your lifestyle. It's okay. Imagine what you want

it to be and write it down. There are all kinds of

scientific studies that when it goes from your brain down your

arm, out your hand on the paper, and you write it out, versus

typing it out using different parts of your brain, it

solidifies it even more so. Write down, imagine your life,

what, what would it be, and then your goals. Have you heard me

talk about the fact that I have dubbed myself the 12 minute

success coach because I wrote a book. What I wrote a book? I

wrote a book 12 minutes

to success. Reach Your Goals in 12 minute increments. You can

take that big, lofty, amazing goal and break it down into

little pieces. Break it down into little pieces. I have had

people say, I want to write a book. I can't do it in 12

minutes. Well, you might not be able to do it in 12 minutes,

however. Oh, and, and the question went on, if I don't

have an idea that day, do I just sit and stare at my computer

screen? No, you do not know. So my suggestion, my recommendation

is number one. Your first 12 minutes is making a list of

things you could possibly write a book about, or you're

interested in to write a book about. You can either walk a.

Away and do something else and come back the next day. Or you

can just walk away for a few minutes and come back and then

pick three of those topics that really are called to you and

ponder it right. Sit there and ponder it. You got 12 minutes

then come back and pick one. Does that mean you're never

going to write about the others? No, absolutely not. What does

that mean? That means you picked one. Make a decision. The most

successful people make decisions quickly. If it turns out to be

the wrong one, they make a different decision. We get hung

up like we handcuff ourselves on not making a decision because it

could be the wrong one. I have a couple of friends, and they

cannot make decisions to save their soul, and it wears me

right the F out. And so now I just make decisions and say,

This is what I'm doing. Are you in? Are you out? And they can

choose that way. And just decide, if you pick one, just

know you can do the others later. It's fine. You can just

do it later. So now you have your topic, whatever that topic

is. You've had lots of stories happen to you in your life. Now

I want you to sit down and make just write a short phrase, a

short sentence, to remind jog your memory of an event, of an

occurrence, of a milestone in your life that you think you

might want to include in a book. Jot it down if you're writing a

keynote speech. This is kind of the same process. Jot down what

stories you might want to tell, then go back and pick three to

five. Then you spend your next 12 minutes writing out one of

those stories, typed or handwritten, whatever. I don't

really care at this point, but write it out. So now you have

three to five stories to put into either your keynote speech

or your book. Now you can kind of organize those, and now your

brain can start making patterns, putting pieces together, how

this might all come together and make an amazing, spectacular

book or keynote speech or training. So break it down into

little pieces, so you can do it when, when I was a kid and we

got a dishwasher, my mom was adamant, adamant that a

dishwasher was going to use a lot of energy and a lot of

water. And I don't know how many commercials I have seen over the

years, since I was a little girl, lived at 10328, lakes. I

drive that. It's a commercial that says, if you hand wash, you

use so many gallons of water, but if you just run the

dishwasher, use substantially less and less energy because

you're using less water, less water has to be heated. So,

blah, blah, blah. So when I was in Spain with my friend Kimberly

Crow, we had, like, four or five glasses different sizes, and,

you know, four or five plates and silverware and whatever. And

she said, I don't wash this. Just put them in the dishwasher.

And I was like, well, we don't have that much. Like, we're not

gonna have enough to make a full load before we're gonna need

those dishes. She looked at me and she goes, run the

dishwasher. Jennifer, just run it. I'll unload it in the

morning. Finish loading it, turn it on. Well, I'll unload it in

the morning. So very quickly, we had a routine. At the end of the

night, I would load the dishwasher and turn it on, and

we'd go to bed, and the next morning, she would get up and go

in, and before she did anything else, she unloaded that

dishwasher. So I got home, and I don't know if you've ever heard

this about me, but I bake a lot, and I'm really good at it, and I

would always, could just always have a side towel next to my

sink with something draining, whether it was my mixing bowl or

measuring spoons or dinner plates, whatever. But like,

between me my husband, like we don't have enough quote to run a

whole load, because, you know, my mom taught me her story.

That's my mom's story. And I got home from Spain, and I thought,

I'm just going to run this dishwasher every night and I'm

just going to unload it every morning, and I'm going to wake

up to an empty sink. That's what I'm going to do. I got ready to

go to bed one night, and I walked through the kitchen, and

I had not loaded the dishwasher, nor had I turned it on. And I

thought, well, there's not that much, see, I immediately stopped

myself. I immediately decided I'm not going to do that. But I

did. I. Did that dishwasher. I turned it on. Even though it

wasn't even half full, I put it on light wash. I don't have one

of those dishwashers that has to go two and a half or three hours

for the shortest cycle. I have an older dishwasher, and it'll

do a light wash. So, you know, it's a short period of time. So

I turned it on. The next morning, I got up, I walked into

the kitchen, and I was so happy. The sink was empty. There were

no dishes on the side towel. I opened the dishwasher because

there wasn't much in it. I unloaded it very quickly. That's

a big deal to me. Some people don't cook, and they're like, I

have to like, dust my oven and my cooktop, because I don't ever

use it. I just mine all the time, and I need it to work, and

I need it to be clean. And I'm just telling you, I feel so much

better and happier because I'm taking little bitty steps to

accomplish what I want. 12 minutes a day, every day is 73

hours. When was the last time you focused your energy on one

thing for 73 hours for me, until I started doing 12 minute

increments it it was very little like very little that I worked

on like that. So that is my wish for you. Wire your brain with

positivity, not negativity. If you're watching the news, turn

it off. If something's happening, somebody will tell

you, and then you can research it. Imagine the life that you

want. Imagine the life that you want. I want everything to work.

I want my kitchen cleaned up, right? Those are some basic

things that I want. And then break your goals down into short

little bursts of 12 minute increments. When you say I'm

going to do something and you don't do it, you tell your

subconscious, you tell your brain that's not important to

her or him. I don't need a reminder. I don't need to be

that pesky little thought going, you said you were gonna do it.

You said you were gonna do it. But when you do something that

you say you're gonna do, and you complete it. Your brain says

that's the kind of gal who does what she says she's gonna and

then you find it easier and easier to do what you said you

were gonna do. Right now, my dishwasher has more than half a

load in there, and after I cook dinner tonight, I'll be turning

that sucker on, and I'm going to have a clean dishwasher. I mean,

clean dishes, a clean kitchen, and it's going to make me feel

so good. Now, if you get your plan in order, and you get it

all lined out, and then you still can't do it. You probably

have unseen walls, glass walls, that you're bumping up against.

And as a certified healer, I can help you clear those out with

Body Code, emotion, code, belief code, holy fire, Reiki, Akashic

records, all the things I can help you quickly and easily

identify what's holding you back, clear it out, and then you

have less anxiety, less angst, less pushback. If it's a

physical thing holding you back, we create balance, and your body

has a chance to heal itself, because that's what it's

supposed to do, and can do in many ways. But I am pro modern

medicine. Don't think I'm anti and don't take away whatever

prescriptions I have, like, leave me alone. Don't come after

me. I'm a both and kind of girl, not a

one way or the other. Take baby steps to fix yourself, wire your

brain. Imagine your life. Break down your goals into 12 minute

increments. And if you need some help with any of this, click the

link to book a discovery call. I would love to talk to you and

see if there's any way I can help you. I mean, I know I can,

but so I can share with you how I can and get my audio series 12

minute gift.com I'm Jennifer Takagi, and I look forward to

connecting with you soon. You.