244. Diana Salcido - Dismissed to Diagnosed: A Journey of Self-Advocacy, Surrender, and Integrative Healing

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 00:12

be fun. I know. I'm actually excited. I'm like, OK. I hope so. It's like comprehensive. It's fun to hang out in a different context. It is. It is. Yes. Well, Diana, welcome to the Accrescent Podcast. Thank you. It's been a long time since I've had a client on to share their story. And in fact, think share their story in hopefully the really in-depth way that we're going to get into today. We were talking off air. And a part of this is.

You know, I work with so many individuals who've experienced cancer and everyone's journey is different. And, and at the same time, there's a lot of common things that people are experiencing that I'm seeing clients experience. So I think to be able to hear someone's story really in depth and go, my gosh, yes, that's exactly what I went through. wow. Here's how she overcame that. Okay. That might be really supportive for me. I think is just such a cool, cool opportunity. So I feel really grateful that you're here. I know this.

can be.

Diana Salcido (: 01:10

can be.

vulnerable and in some ways kind of exposing, so I don't take it lightly and I feel really grateful. Well, thank you for having me. And I've always told you I'm an open book, but there is something about being in a setting where you're like, OK, I'm the focus, right? It is different. But I have no problem sharing my story. So thank you. Yes. So I think a really good place to start, a lot of your story, although I think I'm probably going to discover some new things too, just because it's so nuanced, is how it all started. And I think this is really important because

you like me and like many others were initially dismissed with the symptoms you were having. So I'd love to start there of what you were experiencing before a diagnosis even came. Right. And then how we got the diagnosis. Okay. So for me the weirdest part was I started having panic attacks and I am not I would definitely label myself as a type-A personality. I'm very organized, punctual, everything's taken care of but I was never an anxious person and so it was probably

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 02:12

Probably summer of 2023, I started having my first panic attacks and they really freaked me out. And I remember having one in December 2023 and I actually thought it was having a heart attack. I was, my son and I were living with my parents at the time. I woke my parents up because I just needed people to sit with me. And it was at that moment, I was, I remember just crying saying, there's something wrong. I don't feel right. And you know, they're just like, you know, you have a lot going on. You know, it was at the tail end of COVID and quarantine.

Probably summer of: 2023

and I had, you know, just personal stuff going on, just custody issues, and so everyone's like, you're just under a lot of stress. And so that's kind of what I chalked it up to. But then I would say that following spring, so...

orry. So this would have been: 2022

Diana Salcido (: 02:55

My dates wrong. Sorry. So this would have been 2022. going into spring 2023, that's when the head stuff really started ramping up. So not only was it panic attacks, then it started becoming depersonalization and derealization. So the derealization came on really strong when I was in stores and when I was driving. So if I went into a grocery store, there were times where I'd be walking down an aisle, and it would just feel like everything was closing in.

forget this happened in March: 2023

And a man came in to where I was working and he was telling me about his ex-wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer. And I remember when he said the word cancer, it was like I came out of my body. I wasn't even present in my body. I felt very almost like numb and hot. And all of a sudden, after, don't know how long that lasted, but I came back in and that was the first time where I just thought it's cancer because my body had such a strong reaction to that word. And so then I started telling people,

in my body. So that May, May: 2023

Diana Salcido (: 04:08

I think I have cancer. And I think to other people this came out of nowhere, but to me it made sense because I did not feel right in my body. So that May, May 2023, I went to the ER because I like, mean, it was just heart rate up. I didn't feel like I was in my body. I was freaking out. So my parents went to the ER with me and I remember going in and just telling the ER doctor, he could tell I was very nervous and he's like, you know, what's going on? Like what? And I had really bad abdominal pain. So this is when abdominal pain started.

So my parents went to the ER with me and I remember going in and just telling the ER doctor, he could tell I was very nervous and he's like, you know, what's going on? Like what, and I had really bad abdominal pain. So this is when abdominal pain started and it was on the left side of my body and it was just like, it was piercing, it was sharp, but it was also like having period cramp pain, but I wasn't having my period. wasn't around that time. So I remember going in and they did the ultrasound. He did a CT scan. The CT scan just showed some.

And it was on the left side of my body. And it was just like, was piercing, it was sharp, but it was also like having period cramp pain. But I wasn't having my period, it wasn't around that time. So I remember going in and they did the ultrasound, he did a CT scan, the CT scan just showed some constipation, but there was nothing major going on. And I remember him coming in and saying, know, I can tell you're really worked up, like what do you think it is? And I looked at him and I said, I really am afraid that I have colon cancer.

constipation, but there was nothing major going on. And I remember him coming in and saying, you know, I can tell you're really worked up. Like, what do you think it is? And I looked at him and I said, I really am afraid that I have colon cancer. And I'll never forget, he like cocked his head back and started laughing. He goes, no, this is not how colon cancer presents. And I remember saying, well, what if this is how my colon cancer presents? And he said, you'd be the first. Wow. So yes. So I left the ER.

never forget he like cocked his head back and started laughing. He goes, no, this is not how colon cancer presents. And I remember saying, well, what if this is how my colon cancer presents? And he said, you'd be the first. Wow. So yes. So I left the ER. My mom, she graduated with her RN degree. So I remember walking out to the parking lot with them and I was not settled. They basically said, take metamucil and you're constipated. And I remember my mom saying, Diana, they looked at a

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 05:25

My mom, she graduated with her RN degree. So I remember walking out to the parking lot with them and I was not settled. They basically said, take Metamucil and you're constipated. And I remember my mom saying, Diana, they looked at a CT scan. Those things are so precise. They'd be able to see something. I said, what if the constipation was blocking a growth? What if they missed something? And she's like, they know what they're looking at. So that was kind of the start. That's where I'm like, it's cancer. I know I have cancer. So for me, was definitely

CT scan, those things are so precise, they'd be able to see something. And I said, you know, what if the constipation was blocking a growth? You know, what if they miss something? And she's like, they know what they're looking at. So that was kind of the start. That's where I'm like, it's cancer. I know I have cancer. So for me, it was definitely those weird head symptoms, the depersonalization, derealization. I started having a lot of vision issues. So especially with my left eye, I was getting weird floaters and glares. I even went to an ophthalmologist because I was convinced

those weird head symptoms, the depersonalization, derealization, I started having a lot of vision issues. So especially with my left eye, I was getting weird floaters and glares. I even went to an ophthalmologist because I was convinced I had a tumor behind my left eye. So I got worked up that summer. He's like, no, no brain tumor in there. know, your eye, like there's no tumor pressing on your optic nerve. I mean, I was coming up with all sorts of things because I knew there was something wrong. So those were the biggest symptoms. But abdominal pain, the vision,

I had a tumor behind my left eye. So I got worked up that summer. He's like, no, no brain tumor in there. Your eye, there's no tumor pressing on your optic nerve. I I was coming up with all sorts of things because I knew there was something wrong. So those were the biggest symptoms, but abdominal pain, the vision issues, and then the panic and the panic type symptoms. Yeah. And so then after that initial ER visit, tell us a little bit more of what unfolded and how you ultimately were able to get

issues and then the panic and the panic type symptoms. And so then after that initial ER visit, tell us a little bit more of what unfolded and how you ultimately were able to get the correct diagnosis. Yeah. So from there, I actually went to three different doctors. Well, actually, no. The ER doctor was the first doctor that I ever vocalized colon cancer. And then from there, I went to a neurologist because these head symptoms were so debilitating for me. It got to the point where I was almost

Diana Salcido (: 06:37

the correct diagnosis. Yeah. So from there, I actually went to three different doctors. the, well, actually, no, the ER doctor was the first doctor that I ever vocalized colon cancer. And then from there, I went to a neurologist because these head symptoms were so debilitating for me. It got to the point where I was almost afraid to drive because it would come on very strong when I was driving. It was almost like things would get hyper-focused or blurry. It was kind of one or the other. And I really thought I was having a stroke or like a seizure. I thought I was going to pass out.

afraid to drive because it would come on very strong when I was driving. It was almost like things would get hyper focused or blurry. It was kind of one or the other. And I really thought I was having a stroke or like a seizure. I thought I was going to pass out while driving my son. So I was even getting afraid to drive, which is very unlike me. So I went and saw a neurologist. I told her that I was afraid I had cancer. I asked her for a full body scan, especially of the brain because I was convinced there was a brain tumor. And she told me she

while driving my son. So I was even getting afraid to drive, which is very unlike me. So I went and saw a neurologist. told her that I was afraid I had cancer. I asked her for a full body scan, especially of the brain, because I was convinced there was a brain tumor. And she told me that she would give me an MRI of the brain, but without contrast. And I said, well, if you're not going to do it with contrast, what are we even looking for? And she said, exactly. She goes, you don't have a brain tumor. And then I said, but the

She would give me an MRI of the brain, but without contrast. And I said, well, if you're not going to do it with contrast, what are we even looking for? And she said, exactly. She goes, you don't have a brain tumor. And then I said, but there's something wrong. There's something going on. And so she said the contrast dye would do more damage to my kidney than actually finding anything in my body. So again, dismissed. And she wrote me instead a prescription for clonopin, because she just said, you're very anxious. I can tell you have

there's something wrong. There's something going on. And so she said the contrast dye would do more damage to my kidney than actually finding anything in my body. So again, dismissed. And she wrote me instead a prescription for clonopin because she just said, you're very anxious. I can tell you have health anxiety. Here's your prescription. stop it. Yes. So I got my prescription for clonopin. And I will say it did help. So I was grateful for that because when I had those big strong moments of panic,

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 07:54

health anxiety, here's your prescription. stop it. Yes. So I got my prescription for clonopin and I will say it did help. So I was grateful for that. cause when I had like those big strong moments of panic, I would take one and it did take the edge off. So then I was thinking, maybe I am just really anxious, right? so after that I went to a gynecologist and again, I told her, I said, I didn't just having the weirdest symptoms. I, there is something wrong. I do not feel like myself. I do not feel normal. and so.

I would take one. Yeah, and it did take the edge off. So then I was thinking maybe I am just really anxious, right? So after that I went to a gynecologist and again, I told her I said I didn't just having the weirdest symptoms. I there is something wrong. I do not feel like myself. I do not feel normal. And so I told her I think I have colon cancer and I said and if it's not colon cancer, I have a brain tumor. So she you know, she did her whole exam and everything. She's like everything looks great. I'm going to draw some blood for you. We'll do some like blood work.

So told her, I think I have colon cancer. And I said, and if it's not colon cancer, I have a brain tumor. And so she did her whole exam and everything. She's like, everything looks great. I'm going to draw some blood for you. We'll do some blood work. She goes, but I really think you're OK. And I remember getting the note from the session. Everything was put in my online portal. And in the note, she had even written, patient thinks she has colon cancer or a brain tumor. And to me, it seemed like she was putting it in there as almost a warning to other doctors.

And she goes, but I really think you're OK. And I remember getting the note from the session. Everything was put in my online portal. And in the note, she had even written, patient thinks she has colon cancer or a brain tumor. And to me, it seemed like she was putting it in there as almost a warning to other doctors, like this is who you're dealing with. And so I did try. It was one of those things where I just knew there was something wrong. I didn't know where to start. I think that's it, too. It's like, do you start with an oncologist?

is who you're dealing with. And so I did try. It was one of those things where I just knew there was something wrong. I didn't know where to start. I think that's it, too. It's like, do you start with an oncologist? Where do you even go when you think? And at the time, I didn't even have health insurance, so my hands were very tied. I would have to pay a lot out of pocket to get the tests that you would need to even determine if it was cancer. So from there, it was basically just dealing with it all. I was just hoping that one day I would feel better.

Diana Salcido (: 09:07

even go when you think and at the time I didn't even have health insurance so my hands were very tied you know I would have to pay a lot out of pocket to get the tests that you would need to even determine if it was cancer so from there it was basically just dealing with it all you know I was just hoping that one day I would feel better I'll never get I was out to dinner with my mom and my son one night and I was trying to eat my food and I just lost it and I started bawling and my mom she's just looking at me she's like what's the matter and I just looked at her and I said I'm

so this now this puts us into: 2024

And so now this puts us into: 2024

abdominal stuff kicked in May: 2023

And then I was diagnosed May: 2024

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 10:24

And I only did it maybe four times. But the month before my diagnosis, I got Botox. And I remember waking up three nights in a row. It felt like somebody was stabbing me in the left side of my abdomen to the point where I was contemplating calling 911. In fact, I did call 911.

contemplating calling 911. In fact, I did call 911 one night and the

th,: 2024

So they showed up, they told me I was fine. And so I was able to fall back asleep. But after that, I ended up moving back in with my parents. And this was about a 45 minute drive from my son's school. But that's how desperate I was because I just didn't feel good. And I was getting to the point where I really didn't trust myself driving with him because the head symptoms were getting even worse. The pain at night was really scaring me. So I wasn't sleeping well on top of it. so we moved in with my parents.

Diana Salcido (: 11:10

They showed up, they told me I was fine. And so I was able to fall back asleep. But after that, I ended up moving back in with my parents. And this was about a 45 minute drive from my son's school. But that's how desperate I was because I just didn't feel good. And I was getting to the point where I really didn't trust myself driving with him because the head symptoms were getting even worse. The pain at night was really scaring me. So I wasn't sleeping well on top of it. so we moved in with my parents. I had to have somebody in the car.

somebody in the car with me if I was driving because I was too afraid of passing out with Jakey in the car. so it was probably, I think it was like the end of May, I started getting, I realized I hadn't gone to the bathroom in about two weeks. my gosh. Yeah, so when you're a single mom and you're just like running around taking care of everything, you don't even like tally that. And so I hadn't gone to the bathroom, it might've been up to three weeks. And so I remember thinking, I haven't gone to the bathroom.

with me if I was driving because I was too afraid of passing out with Jakey in the car. And so it was probably, I think it was like the end of May, I started getting, I realized I hadn't gone to the bathroom in about two weeks. my gosh. Yeah, so when you're a single mom and you're just like running around taking care of everything, you don't even like tally that. And so I hadn't gone to the bathroom, it might've been up to three weeks. And so I remember thinking, I haven't gone to the bathroom.

I'm like, what should I do? And my mom suggested colonics. So I'm like, let's go. So I find a colonics place. She, you know, they're doing what they need to do and nothing's coming out. And so she's like, you you must just be really backed up in there. And again, at this time, I'm thinking I have colon cancer. So I remember asking a lot of colon cancer questions. And of course, they didn't know much. And so my last colonics appointment was on May 27th. And I remember just laying there feeling so nauseous. And so the next day,

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 12:37

Was a Tuesday. It was May 28th and I couldn't fall asleep. I was just lying there at night My son's asleep. Everyone else is asleep and all of a sudden I get up and I just can't stop throwing up So I go to the bathroom I'm vomiting and vomiting and I have to go and wake my mom up and I wake her up and I said I can't stop throwing up Something is wrong. I have to go to the hospital and my mom's like well, maybe you're just you know, not feeling well You haven't gone to the bathroom. You just have stuff sitting in there and I said mom something's very wrong I have to go to the hospital

And so she I couldn't stop throwing up. So I said, I think I have to call 911. I can't drive myself because she couldn't leave my you know, my son was only sick five at the time six. And and so she had to stay. So I remember calling 911. They showed up and I told them, said, listen, I can't stop throwing up. I haven't gone to the bathroom in like three weeks. And they looked at me like I had two heads. They're like, so you called 911 because you're constipated. And I told them, I said, listen, I can't stop throwing.

I don't trust myself to drive right now. I could crash. And they're like, so you want us to take you to the ER because you're throwing up. And I was like, something is wrong. So they very reluctantly put me into the ambulance. They get me into the hospital. I remember them wheeling me into the ER. And I can hear them. And they're all talking about me like, yeah, she's constipated. She didn't want to drive, all this. So I hear everyone talking about me as if I'm just constipated. And so finally, they put me in a room.

Diana Salcido (: 13:37

I don't trust myself to drive right now. I could crash. And they're like, so you want us to take you to the ER because you're throwing up. And I was like, something is wrong. So they very reluctantly put me into the ambulance. They get me into the hospital. I remember them wheeling me into the ER. And I can hear them. And they're all talking about me like, yeah, she's constipated. She didn't want to drive, all this. So I hear everyone talking about me as if I'm just constipated. And so finally, they put me in a room.

The doctor comes in and he says listen, I'm gonna do we're gonna do blood work I'm gonna get a CT scan all of this and I just looked down my suppose and something is very wrong Like I don't know what's going on But I know I I'm not myself like I haven't gone to the bathroom like this doesn't happen to me and he's like, it's okay We're gonna figure it out and he was actually very kind He was like we're gonna figure it out And so he said in the meantime the nurse is gonna bring you magnesium citrate and that's basically what they give you to clear you out and he's like you're gonna have to drink it and he showed me the liter bottle and I'm like, there's no way

I'm going to get that in me. I'm like, I can't even drink water right now. And he said, we'll give you something for the nausea. Get as much of it down as you can. So I remember just chugging it, because I'm like, there's no way I'm going to be able to sip this. So I chugged it. And they're like, you'll be going within an hour. So an hour passes, two hours pass. And I'm just sitting there feeling miserable. I actually have a picture of myself in the ER this night. And I'm there by myself. It's probably like 4 in the morning. Finally, the doctor comes in. It's probably right before 6 AM.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 15:07

And he comes in, he goes, hey, listen, I just got your CT scan back. There is a narrowing of your colon with a thickening of the walls, which is indicative of a mass. I immediately knew what he was saying. And again, it was almost like coming out of my body when I heard him say it. And then I came back in, and I just looked at him, and I said, what does this mean? And he goes, because I just had you drink all of that, the nurses are going to come in, and they're going to put an NG tube down your nose. We need to start emptying your stomach.

At the time I had no idea what that meant. I probably would have run had I known what was coming But he told me that and he said and then we're be admitting you to the hospital You need emergency surgery and I remember leaving for the hospital telling my mom mom What if they want to perform surgery like what if and she goes no no no they're gonna do like an enema clear you out You'll be fine. It was like I knew I already knew like what was happening and so So sure enough the nurses come in and they're like, okay listen, we're gonna be inserting the NG tube down

And they did it while I was awake and for anyone who's adding in G tube, know how torturous this is So they inserted it. It feels like you're choking you have this tube in your throat I remember swallowing and I just started freaking out I almost pulled it out and they had to come and just put at a van in me before I started ripping everything off But from there on I was admitted to the hospital and that basically they had to keep me there for two days before they could do the surgery so I was miserable for those two days and then finally they did the surgery and that's

Diana Salcido (: 16:07

And they did it while I was awake and for anyone who's adding in G tube, know how torturous this is So they inserted it. It feels like you're choking you have this tube in your throat I remember swallowing and I just started freaking out I almost pulled it out and they had to come and just put at a van in me before I started ripping everything off But from there on I was admitted to the hospital and that basically they had to keep me there for two days before they could do the surgery so I was miserable for those two days and then finally they did the surgery and that's

And when the doctor or the surgeon came in, I asked him, said, did it look like cancer? And he said, yes, it did. And so that was kind of like, that was the moment. Yeah. I didn't realize it had been that long from onset of symptoms to the diagnosis. I know we may never really be able to know this question. And it's not really the crux of the conversation. But when you went to the ER the year before, do you think that there was a mass that just was blocked? I do. I think if anything, it was at least a large polyp at that point.

And so I remember asking the ER doctor, can I get a colonoscopy? And he even said, listen, you don't have insurance. You're going to have to pay out of pocket for that because you're too young. I was 41 then. So I was diagnosed at 42. So he's like, you won't even qualify for it because you're too young. So insurance won't cover it. And he said, save your money. And he's like, the cons outweigh the pros for you. That's what he said. And I just want to qualify this with, after seeing how everything

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 17:36

has played out. I actually am OK. I had to work through a ton of anger at that time, especially with those doctors who were kind of laughing at me, even though I was the only one without a medical degree and I'm the only one who got the diagnosis correct from the get-go. But I really had to work through that. But just seeing how I've been protected throughout all of this, I'm OK with it now. Because I think, just again, everyone has their own beliefs on these things. But I think had I gotten the colonoscopy, they probably would have biopsied it.

I'm not 100 % in favor of biopsies. And so who knows what that would have done as far as like would they have made me do chemo before getting surgery? And I haven't done any conventional care at this point because of how wrecked my body was from the surgery. So it's all happened the way that it's supposed to happen. And so I'm really at peace with it. But I will say at the time, I was very angry. I had to work through a lot of that. rightly so. I mean, as you were talking, what I was thinking to myself is the resilience and conviction that you had to

I don't know that I would have had that when you're getting dismissed so much when they show up at your door like you want us to take you to the ER because you're throwing up. I mean, I honestly might have been like, oh yeah, okay. All right. I guess I I'll just stay here. Right. mean, my God. Yeah, it's really powerful. The level of resilience and conviction you had to go. don't care. Something's wrong. Right. And I don't care what you think of me. Yeah. You can all laugh at me. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Now you had that initial

Diana Salcido (: 18:37

I don't know that I would have had that when you're getting dismissed so much when they show up at your door like you want us to take you to the ER because you're throwing up. I mean, I honestly might have been like, oh yeah, okay. All right. I guess I I'll just stay here. Right. mean, my God, yeah, it's really powerful. The level of resilience and conviction you had to go. don't care. Something's wrong. Right. And I don't care what you think of me. Yeah. You can all laugh at me. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Now you had that initial

th,: 2024

So I was calling my surgeon, and I just kept saying, I don't feel good. Again, something doesn't feel right. And he's like, Diana, you just had open abdominal surgery. You're not going to feel right. Like, this is a major surgery. You're missing six inches of your colon. So again, it was just kind of like, just deal. So I'm like, OK. So a couple more days go by. Finally, I wake up. It was Saturday, June 8. I wake my mom up at like 6 AM. And I said, I have to go to the ER. Something is wrong. And again, I'll never forget she goes to

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 20:06

I was like, I don't care. Something's wrong. I'm like, I have to go. I don't feel right. So I remember we went to the ER. It actually wasn't crowded, which was wonderful. So we go to the ER. And I remember the phlebotomist, that was the first thing. They took me back to draw blood. And he said, we don't have any rooms yet, so you have to go back out in the waiting room. And I looked at him and I said, I do not feel right. I think something bad is going to happen. Just let me sit in the ER. I don't care that you don't have rooms. I just want to sit in a hall.

So if something happens to me, a nurse can see me. And he looked at me and he goes, you don't look well.

cells should be between like: 3000

Diana Salcido (: 20:41

That's fine. So he actually put me in the ER and I was just sitting in a chair in there because I just needed to know that somebody was watching me. so I remember they took my blood. All of a sudden, you know, a bunch of people are coming towards me. My white blood cell count was over 18,000. So for reference, your white blood cells should be between like 3000 and 11,000. wow. So mine were at 18,000. So clearly there was some sort of infection going on. And so again, it was we need to admit you because we need to figure out

where this infection is. So they admit me. couldn't. So within a few hours of being admitted, I started vomiting again and I could not stop vomiting. So of course I'm concerned they missed a tumor. Who knows, right? Like what's going on? And so I can't stop throwing up. They offer me the NG tube. I refuse it. I'm like, I would rather vomit every, I was vomiting every two hours, like clockwork. So I'm like, I will vomit every two hours. do not want the NG tube. I don't need you to pump my stomach. So, so I was

where this infection is. So they admit me. So within a few hours of being admitted, I started vomiting again. And I could not stop vomiting. So of course, I'm concerned. They missed a tumor. Who knows, right? Like, what's going on? And so I can't stop throwing up. They offer me the NG tube. I refuse it. I'm like, I would rather vomit. I was vomiting every two hours, like clockwork. So I'm like, I will vomit every two hours. I do not want the NG I don't need you to my stomach. again. Yes.

throwing up it took them four days to figure out what was going on because they kept trying to do CT scans but for whatever reason it was like the contrast dye couldn't pick up that's what it was they were looking for a leak and the contrast I can't pick up a leak you have to ingest contrast I it because it has to be inside to see if it leaks into your abdominal cavity so they tried having me drink it I told them I'm like I'm not gonna be able to get this down I'm sick so I got it all down five minutes

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 22:11

before they came and got me, I vomited it all up. So I still had to get the CT scan, but there wasn't enough in me to see if there was a leak. So then they had to do the enema. So they did a contrast enema, and that was super uncomfortable as you're trying not to vomit and everything. And so they did that, and that's when they saw that I had a leak. they didn't figure that out until June 11th. So I had already been there for like three nights. And so I remember I was in the bathroom, but I could hear out into the main room, but I was in the bathroom.

in, my mom was right there, and I heard him say, it's a leak. And that was the worst thing he could have said because he already warned me that if there was a leak, they were going to have to go in, open me up the exact same way. And it was a nine inch incision. And I mean, I was still so fragile at that point, but they were going have to open me up. He was going to have to fix the leak and then create an ileostomy, which for people who don't know, that's basically a poop bag at your small intestine. So it's not the colostomy bag.

and ileostomy a little bit different. And I remember hearing this in the bathroom, but coming out like I didn't hear it because I was in shock. And I remember he looked at me and he said, it's a leak. I'm taking you into surgery. he said, I think he said three hours. And I remember just looking at him and I said, I can't do that again. And he said, you have no choice. You have a major infection. We have to get you well. And I just said, my body can't do this again. And he just said, I'm really sorry. We have to.

Diana Salcido (: 23:10

and ileostomy a little bit different. And I remember hearing this in the bathroom, but coming out like I didn't hear it because I was in shock. And I remember he looked at me and he said, it's a leak. I'm taking you into surgery. he said, I think he said three hours. And I remember just looking at him and I said, I can't do that again. And he said, you have no choice. You have a major infection. We have to get you well. And I just said, my body can't do this again. And he just said, I'm really sorry. We have to.

And this was the hardest, I think this was the hardest part for me because this was the moment where my body had been so decimated at this point. I really did not know if I was going to wake up from the surgery. And my son was at school because this was a Monday, I believe. And so I knew I wasn't going to even be able to say goodbye to him. And so I had to go in with, I'm going to be OK because there's no way I'm leaving this earth without saying goodbye to my son. But also there was a part of me that I'm like, don't know if I'm going to

it out. And so that was the moment. So I had the surgery, obviously I made it out. And then I remember waking up and oh my goodness, my stomach. was like I had that nine inch incision. I had stitches and staples going through it. And then I woke up with the ileostomy bag. So you have this bag, your intestine is hanging out of your abdominal wall. And then on the other side, I had a JP drain. So it was like my entire abdomen and I had lost so much weight. I went in at about 145. I came out at 115.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 24:40

So I was so emaciated at this point. was like there was no room for any of this on my abdomen. So waking up with all of that was just the biggest shock of my life. And I even remember them coming in and having to show me how to change the bag. And I'll never forget they had to take off the bag. And then there's a wafer that goes around the stoma that sticks to your stomach. And I remember when they took off the bag, you see your intestine hanging out there. And I remember just looking at it and just

you know, talking to the guy from wound care, I just said, OK, so what do I need to do? And I remember him looking at me saying, you're going to be OK. He's like, you're already ahead of the curve because you can look at it. And I said, well, I don't have a choice. And he's like, well, you do have a choice. He goes, most people really can't look at it. He goes, just know you're ahead of the curve. You're strong. And I was like, OK. And those words mean everything to you in a moment like that. When you have people who see this all the time who are unfazed by it and have them speak those words to you, I really appreciate it.

Those were nothing to him, but they meant so much to me in that moment because I was like, OK, I can do this. I can look at it. Most people can't. Great. Let's do this. So that was kind of my life from there on out, was living with the ileostomy. And then I developed so many more complications because of that infection. I ended up getting a pleural effusion, which is fluid around your lung. So I had to go into the ER about a month post-op to get that drained through a thoracentesis. They didn't know why I was getting fluid around my lung.

Diana Salcido (: 25:40

Those were nothing to him, but they meant so much to me in that moment because I was like, OK, I can do this. I can look at it. Most people can't. Great. Let's do this. So that was kind of my life from there on out, was living with the ileostomy. And then I developed so many more complications because of that infection. I ended up getting a pleural effusion, which is fluid around your lung. So I had to go into the ER about a month post-op to get that drained through a thoracentesis. They didn't know why I was getting fluid around my lung.

They everybody was certain I had more cancer going on there was possibly you know a tumor growing on my lung or you know on the diaphragm something like that so there was just so much fear and uncertainty during this time because I Felt horrible. I looked sick I could barely take a walk around the block that was like a feat for me and for somebody who comes from a history of working out and being strong This was a very very difficult and I mean it was the scariest time of my life

Yeah, well, and I remember, I think we had started working together around this time. Yes. And I remember...

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 26:48

You were in this place of, think first of all, you had been dismissed so much that now every symptom was causing such a flare of fear and you were still having panic attacks and that fear of sleeping alone at night and not having someone to call necessarily. much. And I think it just makes so much sense considering how much you were dismissed and how many, quote unquote, benign symptoms turned out to be these really, really severe things.

You were in this place of, think first of all, you had been dismissed so much that now every symptom was causing such a flare of fear. And you were still having panic attacks and that fear of sleeping alone at night and not having someone to call necessarily. much. And I think it just makes so much sense considering how much you were dismissed and how many quote unquote benign symptoms turned out to be these really, really severe things.

Yes, and you were kind of like I'm the only watchdog here. Yeah, which is so backwards, right? But I'm the only watchdog and I've had to fight tooth and nail to be heard and seen and taken seriously That I remember you had the plural fusion for a while a while it came and you couldn't breathe right You had such a hard time. Like you said just walking. Yeah. Yeah all of it Yeah, and I think I will say all that dismissal though really

empowered me because like you said, I was the only watchdog and so that's it. Only my opinion mattered. And so even from there, you know, I made my own personal choices about what this what the healing was going to look like for me. And I got a lot of pushback from a lot of people. But because I like my whole stance was I was screaming from the rooftops, my body was screaming from the rooftops that something was wrong. I tried to get help. People not only dismissed me, some people even laughed at me.

Diana Salcido (: 27:48

empowered me because like you said, I was the only watchdog and so that's it. Only my opinion mattered. And so even from there, you know, I made my own personal choices about what this what the healing was going to look like for me. And I got a lot of pushback from a lot of people. But because I like my whole stance was I was screaming from the rooftops, my body was screaming from the rooftops that something was wrong. I tried to get help. People not only dismissed me, some people even laughed at me.

So I just became so resolved and I really don't care what anybody's response is to what I'm going through This is my body. I am going to have to live with whatever happens at this point And so I really just that it convicted me it got me to a place where I'm like I am going to make my decisions and I'm gonna own them because I don't want to have to be mad at anybody else for the outcome because I Can change it if I need to but if I'm already gonna be doing something someone wants me to do and I don't want to do it then

And I'm just going to be upset if it doesn't work out the way that it should be working out. So it very much convicted me to know that I'm going to do this my way. And so I think that's really served me. Yeah. And so what did it look like from there on out? Because I know at this point, I think this is when you started bringing in alternative medicine, integrative medicine. Right. But what were the conventional doctors wanting you to do after the surgery, after the leak repair? Right. And then what brought you to integrative medicine?

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 29:18

and what were some of the things that you started utilizing from there? Yeah, so from there, so I'll never forget, there was an oncologist assigned to me at the hospital and I loved him. And he would visit me every day and he would always tell me, so this is your diagnosis. And I remember they said the oncologist is gonna come see you when pathology comes back. Again, I came out of my body when they said that, because I'm like, that's when I'm really gonna know. And I remember he came and found me and he's like, hey, let's go take a walk. And we went and sat somewhere else.

And he's like, listen, like I got your report. This is where we are. And he said, you know, it's stage three C colon cancer. And he said that means that it grew through all the layers of your colon and then it spread into four of the 14 lymph nodes that they took out. And, you know, but the way he spoke to me, I remember thinking he was very hopeful about it. And he said, so, you know, this is the chemo I'm going to start you on. And he explained it to me. And he said, you know, I'll know when to stop because you're going to stop getting feeling in your fingers and toes, basically neuropathy.

He's like, that's when it's my cue to stop the rounds of chemo with you. But we'll just see how your body responds. And I remember at that point, I was just listening to him going, OK, OK. But because I had thought I had cancer for the year prior, I had started following a lot of cancer people. Very strangely. was almost like I knew I was going to need the info. So I started following different holistic cancer centers, different people who would beat cancer holistically. And I loved the messaging, right?

Diana Salcido (: 30:17

He's like, that's when it's my cue to stop the rounds of chemo with you. But we'll just see how your body responds. And I remember at that point, I was just listening to him going, OK, OK. But because I had thought I had cancer for the year prior, I had started following a lot of cancer people. Very strangely. was almost like I knew I was going to need the info. So I started following different holistic cancer centers, different people who would beat cancer holistically. And I loved the messaging, right?

your body can heal. And if it was able to get sick, it can go the other way too. And so I remember meeting with this oncologist again. He saw me every day. And it got to the point where I knew I wasn't going to do what he was asking me to do because, like I said, I was so emaciated and so unwell at this point. The thought of getting a port put in and pumping stuff into my body that we really didn't know what it was going to do to my body, I couldn't do it. When people said the word chemo, it was

almost as if I felt my shoulders go in inward, as if my body wanted to protect itself. And there was no way I was going to force my body to do that. And so one day he came and saw me. And I remember telling him, hey, listen, I really appreciate you coming and seeing me. He treated me like a human. He treated me with dignity. And he wanted to know me. He would ask me questions about my life. These were nice visits for me, because I sat in the hospital for 24 hours a day by myself. mean, my family would come for maybe two to three hours a day. But those other 21 hours, it was neat.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 31:47

It's staring at a wall, you know, so I had a lot of time Yeah, and so I was on my phone looking things up and so one day he came and saw me and I said hey listen I so appreciate you coming and seeing me like you're one of the few people who actually treats me like I'm a human here and I said But I just want to let you know I'm not gonna do what you're asking me to do. I said I've already looked up other places This is what I've been looking into. This is what sounds right to me. And so this is the direction I'm gonna take I don't want you to think that like all of sudden I'm gonna disappear

It's staring at a wall, you know, so I had a lot of time Yeah, and so I was on my phone looking things up and so one day he came and saw me and I said hey listen I so appreciate you coming and seeing me like you're one of the few people who actually treats me like I'm a human here and I said but I just want to let you know I'm not gonna do what you're asking me to do. I said I've already looked up other places This is what I've been looking into. This is what sounds right to me. And so this is the direction I'm gonna take I don't want you to think that like all of sudden I'm gonna disappear

on you, like I want to be very honest and direct with you. And I'll never forget he said, you're going to be fine. wow. Yeah. And I remember saying, what? And he said, you're going to do great. And he goes, I have only been trained in the way that I know. He goes, this is how I know to treat cancer. And he goes, it's the only way I've been trained. And he's like, I'm listening to you. You have found something that sounds better for you. He goes, I already know you're going to be fine. He goes, because you're making the choice yourself. And he said,

there are so many people who just sign up for something because they think they should. And he said, and you're not doing that. He goes, I really already know you're going to be fine. And again, those words at that time were so powerful to me. So that was it. And it was awesome. So I spent 17 nights in the hospital. He visited me every day even after that. And I told him that probably around day six. So he would still come and visit me, sit at my bedside, and chat with me. I mean, again, treating me like a human. And I will never forget how he

Diana Salcido (: 32:47

there are so many people who just sign up for something because they think they should. And he said, and you're not doing that. He goes, I really already know you're going to be fine. And again, those words at that time were so powerful to me. So that was it. And it was awesome. So I spent 17 nights in the hospital. He visited me every day even after that. And I told him that probably around day six. So he would still come and visit me, sit at my bedside, and chat with me. I mean, again, treating me like a human. And I will never forget how he

how he was with me. So from there, that was it. I just kind of, signed up at a cancer center that was local here in Southern California. And so I got on board with them. They did all the testing that they do in terms of looking at the tumor and what natural agents can cause tumor cell death. So I got on a lot of different protocols as far as mistletoe injections and different prescription drugs too, even like hydroxychloroquine was my number one tumor killer. It made me very nauseous. And so I want to talk

about that later in terms of knowing when something is good for you and when it's not. anyway, so I started kind of just like that route. I will say, though, I even had moments where I didn't feel so supported even in this setting, where I thought maybe everybody was on the same page with how I viewed things. And when I was getting the pleural effusion, I had started at this place. And I remember the doctor there. There was nothing malignant going on in my body. My scans were clear. My signetara was zero. They had drained.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 34:17

And the thoracentesis, there were no malignant cells found in my pleural effusion fluid. That's huge. I mean, if there were a tumor growing, there would be some malignant cells. So nothing was denoting any malignancy at this point. Yeah, spreading or malignancy. Yeah. But this doctor, remember she looked and saw that my D-dimer was more than double what it should be. This measures the thickness of your blood. And so I'll never forget, after going over all my no cancer, no cancer, no cancer, she saw the D-dimer. And she goes, you

have thick blood. She goes, that means there's tumor cell activity going on. You need to start chemo immediately. And this came out of nowhere. It was a 45 minute meeting, and this is how she ended it. And I remember saying, do I even have a week to think about this? And she goes, she looked at me and she said, you have a young son, right? And I said, I do. And she goes, I think you want to be around for the rest of his life, right? Oh, gosh. And I said, I do. And she goes, then I wouldn't even give it a week. And I remember having to leave that meeting. I took a Xanax because I couldn't

thick blood. She goes, that means there's tumor cell activity going on. You need to start chemo immediately. And this came out of nowhere. It was a 45 minute meeting and this is how she ended it. And I remember saying, do I even have a week to think about this? And she goes, she looked at me and she said, you have a young son, right? And I said, I do. And she goes, I think you want to be around for the rest of his life, right? And I said, I do. And she goes, then I wouldn't even give it a week. And I remember having to leave that meeting. I took a Xanax because I couldn't

believe that was happening. And at the time, I was also working with an integrative oncologist. She's out of state. But I got her on board because she left conventional oncology and now was really working to support people healing their bodies so that cancer never came back. so I remember calling her right after this meeting. I had to, because this was so early on, it was still hard to just kind of filter out the noise of everything else. I would say that's the hardest part, because even though my body was

Diana Salcido (: 35:17

believe that was happening. And at the time, I was also working with an integrative oncologist. She's out of state. But I got her on board because she left conventional oncology and now was really working to support people healing their bodies so that cancer never came back. so I remember calling her right after this meeting. I had to, because this was so early on, it was still hard to just kind of filter out the noise of everything else. I would say that's the hardest part, because even though my body was

telling me what it wanted. You you're listening to people who've been in this field for decades and you're thinking, I just being stupid? You know, am I just being foolish here? What should I be doing? So I called my integrative oncologist. I told her what happened at this meeting with this other doctor. And I said, I just want to know, like, do you think I'm making a choice out of fear? You know, getting a port put in, that's very scary. Having stuff pumped through my body. I mean, honestly, I've never done drugs because I don't like the idea of something, me not being able to mediate the response of something in my body.

So chemo is very much that for me. Like there's gonna pump something into me and I can't mediate it what so So I remember asking her this and she I'll never forget. She said Diana I did conventional oncology radiation oncology for 20 years and she said You know, I all I did was radiate people and I sent them on their merry way Never saw them like except for their next appointment. So I didn't see the effects of it She said that when she transitioned into the like integrative world she said I really thought I was just gonna be supporting

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 36:46

people doing radiation and chemo and then helping them support their body on the side. And she said, and now that I'm two years into doing this more holistically, she said, Diana, I'm going to tell you the people who are having better outcomes are the ones who are not doing chemo and radiation. And she said, trust your body. that was it. Like that was that was probably late July. It was it was late July, 2024. And that was it. From that moment on, I'm like, I'm trusting my body. And like,

uly. It was it was late July,: 2024

I just couldn't do something to my body. And I will say, even in the holistic world with cancer treatment, one of the biggest things that people do are infusions. They'll do vitamin C infusions, high dose vitamin C, all kinds of different IVs to really just clear out your body. I was refusing even those because my body had been so attacked through these major surgeries. I had my ileostomy, the drains, everything else that I refused to let needles go in my body because my body didn't want needles. I went to the ER.

And that was-

I just couldn't do something to my body. And I will say, even in the holistic world with cancer treatment, one of the biggest things that people do are infusions. They'll do vitamin C infusions, high dose vitamin C, all kinds of different IVs to really just clear out your body. I was refusing even those because my body had been so attacked through these major surgeries. I had my ileostomy, the drains, everything else, that I refused to let needles go in my body because my body didn't want needles. I went to the ER to get the pleural effusion drain.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 37:46

are to get the pleural effusion drained, it took them four tries to get a needle into a vein. And I have good veins. And so my body just didn't want it. So it was one of those things where I'm like, I need to take the path of least resistance right now. And my attitude was always, I'm going to try allowing my body to do what I know it was designed to do. And if that doesn't work, I can always do the other things. But I just felt that if I started with that, it was going to be very hard for my body to come back from that, especially in the state that it was in.

It took them four tries to get a needle into a vein, and I have good veins. so my body just didn't want it. So it was one of those things where I'm like, I need to take the path of least resistance right now. And my attitude was always, I'm going to try allowing my body to do what I know it was designed to do. And if that doesn't work, I can always do the other things. But I just felt that if I started with that, it was going to be very hard for my body to come back from that, especially in the state that it was in. Absolutely.

Absolutely. You bring up such a good point though, which is, and this is something I sit with clients in session with all the time is...

You bring up such a good point though, which is and this is something I sit with clients in session with all the time is How can we be sure we're making a decision from a place of discernment not fear right from calm and clarity not fear? Yes, and it's very hard because the reality is sometimes some of the things that might actually be very Aligned for our body during this time

How can we be sure we're making a decision from a place of discernment, not fear, right? From calm and clarity, not fear. Yes. And it's very hard because the reality is sometimes some of the things that might actually be very aligned for our body during this time are still scary. Yes. It might still have effects. this might be where we get, we, get towards the end of how do you feel like you help navigate some of those decisions, especially when everyone, no matter what their

Diana Salcido (: 38:41

are still scary. Yes, I might still have effects. This might be where we get, we get towards the end of how do you feel like you help navigate some of those decisions, especially when everyone, no matter what they're bringing at you, whether it's conventional medicine or integrative, they have just as much conviction of whatever they're recommending you to do is the best right thing. Right. And still even in those, cause I will say, I feel like I see this a lot.

bringing at you, it's conventional medicine or integrative, they have just as much conviction of whatever they're recommending you to do is the best right thing. And still, even in those, because I will say, I feel like I see this a lot.

especially on the integrative medicine side, or it sometimes shocks patients when I think they have a feeling of I'm saying no to conventional medicine, I'm going over here to integrative medicine, and now I can in some ways just kind of like, you know.

turn my brain off and just trust everything they're giving me and follow everything they're giving me. And sometimes it can be a little bit of a shock to them of, wait a second, my integrative oncologist or my integrative care team is giving me something that I'm actually still not totally comfortable with. Whoa, I didn't expect this. And now what do I do? And this feeling of overwhelm, sometimes even a feeling of betrayal. Right. Yeah. I would say for me, it really comes down to you have to live in this body for the rest of your life.

Diana Salcido (: 39:26

turn my brain off and just trust everything they're giving me and follow everything they're giving me. And sometimes it can be a little bit of a shock to them of, wait a second, my integrative oncologist or my integrative care team is giving me something that I'm actually still not totally comfortable with. Whoa, I didn't expect this. And now what do I do? And this feeling of overwhelm, sometimes even a feeling of betrayal. Right. Yeah. I would say for me, it really comes down to you have to live in this body for the rest of your life.

ersal done, that was January,: 2025

would like, you know, give me a hard time for not doing chemo. And I'd be like, okay, stay in your lane. Let's just talk about my surgery. And like, it was a fun rapport, right? Like he got that I'm, I didn't want to discuss it, but he would still, you know, give me his two cents. And so I think this is where you have to really just own that. And there's always other doctors out there. And I've worked with, I've gone to see certain integrative doctors who have had really long wait lists, like nine months to get in. This just happened recently, met with an integrative GI doctor, took me nine months to

Diana Salcido (: 40:55

get in with her. And when I sat down with her, mean, even she was dismissing my personal choices. And at one point, I brought up a concern about a colonoscopy. And I just said, can we just have a deal that if you see a tumor, you don't biopsy it. We're just going to treat it as it's cancer. But polyps, go ahead, take them out. I'm not an idiot when it comes to certain things. I get that you have to give and take, especially when you're working with conventional doctors. And I remember her just kind of laughing. And she goes, gosh.

I've been doing biopsies for decades. And I go, I understand that, but this is my body, and I'm going to have to live with consequences of anything you do in there. And she goes, I think you're a little too obsessed with your colon.

my gosh. And that was it. That was the last time I saw her. And she kept talking about how long her wait list was. And you saw how long it took to get in with me. And so obviously, I'm doing things correctly. And I don't care. She could have the best outcomes in the world. The way she dismissed me and called me obsessed with my colon, I'm like, and this is the last time we're going to talk. Because again, I'm the one who's going to have to live with any procedure, with any recommendations. even my immune

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 41:38

my gosh. And that was it. That was the last time I saw her. And she kept talking about how long her wait list was. And you saw how long it took to get in with me. And so obviously, I'm doing things correctly. And I don't care. She could have the best outcomes in the world. The way she dismissed me and called me obsessed with my colon, I'm like, and this is the last time we're going to talk. Because again, I'm the one who's going to have to live with any procedure, with any recommendations. even my immune

who I trust immensely with my life, he's recommended things. And I have flat out told him, I am not going to do that. Like, I understand that that might work for some of your other patients. That does not sound good to me. I don't want to do that. And he goes, OK, great. So let's find an alternative then. How do you think about this? And that's it. And so he and I have a very good dialogue going where I will just flat out tell him I'm not comfortable with that. And so it's just finding the right people to work with who are going to respect your boundaries. Because again, you have to live with this. And I will say,

even with the surgeon that I found, he wasn't convinced that the leak where my anastomosis was from the original surgery had been handled correctly. So when I went in for the reversal, I thought it was just gonna be a laparoscopic surgery where they just make little incisions, close up your intestine and that's it. But he wanted to do another partial colectomy because he did not trust the integrity of the colon resection. And at that point, I mean, it was a lot. He goes, I'm gonna have to go in, it's gonna be full laparotomy again.

Diana Salcido (: 43:08

And I remember I cried for a very long time. But I looked at him and I just said, I trust you. And that's fine. Let's do it. And it was a very difficult recovery for me. That was my third open abdominal surgery in seven months. And I remember just feeling so disheartened. But I remember thinking, if I'm going to have to go through surgery again, waking up with the thought of, could there still be a leak was more disastrous to me, and actually having to live through a leak again, than having another few inches.

of my colon taken out. you really have to weigh this. And I would really say there are times where you're going to have to do things that are uncomfortable. mean, none of this has been comfortable for me. I'm not going to lie. Even the feel-good treatments, they're not really that comfortable when you're going through this. And so I have had to do uncomfortable things. I think you do have to find that line for yourself between is this just uncomfortable or is this something that my body is outright rejecting? Yeah, completely. I'm going to have you back up and

walk us through that reversal surgery just so the audience who might not understand all the terms we just sure yes sorry what are we reversing okay and then say a little bit more

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 44:07

walk us through that reversal surgery just so the audience who might not understand all the terms we just sure yes sorry what are we reversing okay and then say a little bit more

He kind of didn't think that when they connected the colon back together, that that had been done properly. So he actually wanted to not just reverse the ileostomy. He wanted to go take even more colon out, sew that back together differently. Correct. Because he was worried maybe a leak would happen again or something. That's exactly right. So before I had that surgery done, so they call it an ileostomy takedown. I call it a reversal, but it's called a takedown where they basically are going to go, they actually have to cut out

out a portion of the ilium, so part of the small intestine, to reconnect it. then so he had to do a barium enema study for that, where they actually have to, again, put it up through your rectum. It's like contrast dye, because they're testing for a leak. So he made me go through that, because he wanted to see if there was a leak at the original anastomosis. And the anastomosis is just where they reconnect your colon after a resection, so taking out a portion of it. And so I did that.

Diana Salcido (: 45:17

And I remember and he had me get a couple CT scans. I had also had nine CT scans in seven months That's a ton of radiation and again, that was something I wasn't gonna fight I know the effects of that I know that is way more radiation than I should ever be exposed to but at that point I had to trust that I was going to be protected because I had to do it He wasn't going to do the surgery if I didn't have them and so again You have to pick and choose your battles and that was not a battle I was gonna die on it was like I'll go get the CT scans

Let's go. So I had the CT scans. So when they did the barium enema study, it was interesting. I walked into his office after getting all the tests done. And he said, so you did everything I asked. And he goes, it's still not good enough for me. And I said, OK. Meaning like there wasn't a leak. There was no leak that showed up. But he just had a intuition. he did. He had a feeling. And he said, listen. he goes, don't trust it. He goes, I just don't. And he said, I read your post-op report, your surgical report.

He didn't even suture it again. It's like he was just banking on it healing on its own and he goes, but it hadn't healed yet It's not like a few months is all of a sudden going to make it heal and then I even brought up I said, you know with a barium enema study you're working with an ileostomy So there's an opening so it's kind of like when they put that through your rectum It goes through your colon and then down through your small intestine. I have an opening it's leaking out into my bag So there's really nothing to stop it and create a pressure. So if there's a micro

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 46:17

He didn't even suture it again. It's like he was just banking on it healing on its own and he goes, but it hadn't healed yet It's not like a few months is all of a sudden going to make it heal and then I even brought up I said, you know with a barium enema study you're working with an ileostomy So there's an opening so it's kind of like when they put that through your rectum It goes through your colon and then down through your small intestine. I have an opening it's leaking out into my bag So there's really nothing to stop it and create a pressure. So if there's a micro

Diana Salcido (: 46:54

And he goes, I want to reattach it myself. And he goes, have never had a leak, and I will never have a leak. And I said, and I trust you with that. So that big surge in ego, loved it, whatever. We didn't

And he goes, I want to reattach it myself. And he goes, have never had a leak, and I will never have a leak. And I said, and I trust you with that. So that big surge in ego, loved it, whatever. didn't

eye to eye, but I knew he knew what he was doing. So I had to wake up from that and because of that prior infection in my abdomen, the reason I was getting that pleural effusion we realized was because I had an abscess the size of my male surgeon's fist that had grown on the top of my spleen. It had grown into the spleen and was pushing up on my diaphragm. So that was causing so much friction on the diaphragm. was causing the pleural effusion, the fluid in my lung. So when he did the surgery,

incision was even bigger. It's basically from my sternum to my C-section scar because he had to get up there and get that abscess. So he wasn't even able to remove it all because it had grown into my spleen and the spleen is very fragile. If you puncture it, you'll bleed out. So he didn't want to risk anything. So he got most of it out. And then he took down the ileostomy. So meaning he cut out a portion, put that back together, and then he did another partial colectomy. So I had two new anastomosis sites that had to heal in my intestines.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 47:47

incision was even bigger. It's basically from my sternum to my C-section scar because he had to get up there and get that abscess. So he wasn't even able to remove it all because it had grown into my spleen and the spleen is very fragile. If you puncture it, you'll bleed out. So he didn't want to risk anything. So he got most of it out. And then he took down the ileostomy. So meaning he cut out a portion, put that back together, and then he did another partial colectomy. So I had two new anastomosis sites that had to heal in my intestines.

So that recovery was...

I will say the pain wasn't as bad, but there was a lot more going on internally because I had two resections that had to basically heal. I had bruising from where the abscess was. So that was a pretty brutal surgery. Yeah, totally. And I think we take for granted individuals who aren't in this exact experience. It's so hard, and maybe we'll talk about this more later, that once there's a cancer-free diagnosis, sometimes the people in our lives

Diana Salcido (: 48:51

just immediately move on. It's like a switch has flipped of great, you're cancer free. So you're done. Now this journey is done and we can get back to our life. And what people don't understand is even when it's not as serious as your was in terms of the number of incredibly invasive surgeries and radiation.

It's not done. There is still so much healing the body needs to do, the mind and the spirit need to do from a traumatic experience like that that's so prolonged. especially, and I think what's so difficult, and you and I have talked about this is,

it feels invisible to the outside world how much healing is still happening. Because they don't see the scar. They don't see the filet of a scar from your sternum all the way down. They don't see the colon that's been surgically sewn back together. And so there's all of this quote unquote invisible healing that's happening that a lot of people can't see. They just see you bright eyed, smiling like, wow, she really bounced back quick.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 49:27

it feels invisible to the outside world how much healing is still happening. Because they don't see the scar. They don't see the filet of a scar from your sternum all the way down. They don't see the colon that's been surgically sewn back together. And so there's all of this quote unquote invisible healing that's happening that a lot of people can't see. They just see you bright eyed, smiling like, wow, she really bounced back quick.

Yes, I would say that's been emotionally probably the most difficult thing because you for me, I, you know, I'm a single mom and my son, he's now eight, but he was six when I was diagnosed. And so those are very formative years for a little guy. And I can't even imagine how scary it was for him. I had snippets of how scary it was, but I'm not living inside his body. But, you know, there got to a point where he wouldn't even come and visit me in the hospital because he would cry when he would leave.

I had my ileostomy from June: 2024

Diana Salcido (: 50:57

afraid that he would hurt my body. So he wouldn't want to hug me. He wouldn't want to sleep in my bed. There were just things that he used to do that he was afraid to be near my body. And so that was very difficult. And so I would say during that time, not much was expected of me. I didn't look well. I was still going to the ER. I still had major treatments going on. But I would say after my reversal surgery, it was very much expected that I was back to normal.

Like you said, people couldn't see the effects on my body, but...

It's intense. And even my blood work, mean, my ferritin got down to, I think, 12 at one point. My iron saturation was down to six. So I mean, there were days where I just had to push, where it was like, my little boy needs me to take him to school. He needs me to take him to football practice. You just push through it. And for me, too, it's been, I don't want to act sick, right? So even though I will say, I'm still kind of sick. My body is still coming back from so much.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 51:31

It's intense. And even my blood work, mean, my ferritin got down to, I think, 12 at one point. My iron saturation was down to six. So I mean, there were days where I just had to push, where it was like, my little boy needs me to take him to school. He needs me to take him to football practice. You just push through it. And for me, too, it's been, I don't want to act sick, right? So even though I will say, I'm still kind of sick. My body is still coming back from so much.

And so, but for me, it was always, can't because I have this little boy who's depending on me. But I will say it's been very lonely because, you know, once you get that final surgery, that's when people kind of check out because it's like, she's fine. Like her last scan showed that she was clean. But these effects, I would say the surgeries have done so much damage to my body that my intestines still don't work the way that they're supposed to. If I get constipated for two days, I start freaking out that I have another tumor block

in there. If I get diarrhea, I'm like, there's another leak. So it's like all these symptoms that came with such specific traumas and emergencies that I went through are still happening. Not as frequently. I would say that I'm probably a little more stable now. But they still happen. so just living by myself and having this little boy that I'm taking care of, there's been nights where I, like even since that surgery, there were two nights where I still had to call 911 just to get reassurance that I wasn't dying.

Diana Salcido (: 53:01

And these are things that people don't see, like the constant fear that you live in. I mean, every little symptom, like your body is so triggered because my body never wants to go through what it just went through. And so you're just so hypervigilant about everything because you don't want anything to get as bad as it got. So I would say, like emotionally, that's been the hardest part because you don't want pity. It's not pity that you're looking for. For me, was I wanted understanding.

And these are things that people don't see, like the constant fear that you live in. And I mean, every little symptom, like your body is so triggered because my body never wants to go through what it just went through. And so you're just so hypervigilant about everything because you don't want anything to get as bad as it got. So I would say, like emotionally, that's been the hardest part because you don't want pity. It's not pity that you're looking for. For me, it was I wanted understanding.

Like I think I just wanted people to like just acknowledge like you've been through hell I mean absolute hell and like and even some affirmation just like and the way that you've handled it and even made it seem like you haven't gone through hell has just been Amazing, you know, but I think it like largely it just gets ignored anything and and that's tough because it makes you feel even lonely In some of the better things that are happening too, so it can get tough completely but just

I think I just wanted people to just acknowledge, you've been through hell. mean, absolute hell. And even some affirmation, and the way that you've handled it and even made it seem like you haven't gone through hell has just been amazing. But I think largely it just gets ignored more than anything. And that's tough, because it makes you feel even lonely in some of the better things that are happening too. So it can get tough. Completely.

to that end but...

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 54:00

to that end that you know

you had that reversal a little over a year ago. Yeah. I mean, it is going to take time to restore your gut microbiome to what it was. I mean, you go into those surgeries, they're pumping you with antibiotics so you don't get infections. All of those CT scans, it's going to take some time to detox from all that radiation. I got a hernia. I had to get a hernia repair surgery in November. Yeah, of just last year. so I think that's

You had that reversal a little over a year ago. Yeah. I mean, it is going to take time to restore your gut microbiome to what it was. I mean, you go into those surgeries, they're pumping you with antibiotics so you don't get infections. All of those CT scans, it's going to take some time to detox from all that radiation. I got a hernia. I had to get a hernia repair surgery in November. Yeah, of just last year. And so I think that is something I really wanted to

is something I really wanted to make sure we highlight for anyone who's listening who hasn't been through cancer but has a loved one who has being able to understand that the journey doesn't end when a cancer-free diagnosis comes. In some ways it's just the start of a different part of the healing journey. It's so true. mean I was just thinking this morning as I was getting like clothes on I'm like man if I wear normal pants you know it like hurts my incision a little more and really I remember the thought was I'm still grieving the

make sure we highlight for anyone who's listening who hasn't been through cancer but has a loved one who has being able to understand that the journey doesn't end when a cancer free diagnosis comes. In some ways, it's just the start of a different part of the healing journey. It's so true. mean, I was just thinking this morning as I was getting clothes on, I'm like, man, if I wear normal pants, it hurts my incision a little more. And really, I remember the thought was, I'm still grieving the body I had before I

Diana Salcido (: 55:03

I had before all these surgeries. I'm still grieving not even having to think about cancer. mean, there is not a day that goes by where you don't think about cancer. And maybe it's not every minute the way that it had been, but you think about it every day. And so you really are actively grieving like, wow, I wonder if there will ever be a time again where my body will just settle and maybe the scar tissue and adhesions won't be causing so much issues. Or maybe there will be a time where there might be a day where I actually don't think about cancer.

these surgeries. I'm still grieving not even having to think about cancer. I mean, there is not a day that goes by where you don't think about cancer. And maybe it's not every minute the way that it had been, but you think about it every day. And so you really are actively grieving like, wow, I wonder if there will ever be a time again where my body will just settle and maybe the scar tissue and adhesions won't be causing so much issues. Or maybe there will be a time where there might be a day where I actually don't think about cancer.

And so it really does, it's very consuming. Everything is affected by it in every way. It's odd. I don't know how else to say it, but it's just a very odd existence when you're still coming out of the fog of it all, because it really is. It's very heavy. It's very heavy. Yeah, absolutely.

It really does. It's very consuming. Everything is affected by it in every way. It's odd. I don't know how else to say it, but it's a very odd existence when you're still coming out of the fog of it all, because it really is. It's very heavy. It's very heavy. Yeah, absolutely.

There's a couple of places I want to go. One place I want to sit with is, can we go a little bit more into just some of the integrative resources, treatments, modalities you used, partly because I think it's, you the audience listening, especially if they're on an integrative cancer journey, might hear something that you did that they've never heard of before, that they can go and research. And so some of the integrative things that you tried that you felt were really supportive or impactful for you. Yeah. So I would say number one has

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 55:53

There's a couple of places I want to go. One place I want to sit with is, can we go a little bit more into just some of the integrative resources, treatments, modalities you used, partly because I think it's, you the audience listening, especially if they're on an integrative cancer journey, might hear something that you did that they've never heard of before, that they can go and research. And so some of the integrative things that you tried that you felt were really supportive or impactful for you. So I would say number one has

been working with you. mean, really, no. mean, whenever people would give me a hard time for not doing chemo, I remember my response was always, I know why I got cancer, and it has nothing to do with me needing chemo. Like, I know that. it was, I mean, I have gone through just so much on a personal level in the past eight years that I knew exactly why I got cancer. And not to say that was the only factor, was the emotional and just trauma that I was going through from a divorce and custody

issues and things like that. But I would say that was probably the biggest driver for me. And so I think just having to deal with the emotional stuff. I know that that can almost seem overwhelming because I actually feel like that's the hardest thing to get into. It's easy to take supplements. It's easy to go to treatments. It's easier to hop into like a H-Bot, whatever it might be. Those things you can just force yourself to do. There's not a lot in it. The work that I've done with you,

shoes and things like that. But I would say that was probably the biggest driver for me. And so I think just having to deal with the emotional stuff. I know that that can almost seem overwhelming because I actually feel like that's the hardest thing to get into. It's easy to take supplements. It's easy to go to treatments. It's easier to hop into like an H-Bot, whatever it might be. Those things you can just force yourself to do. There's not a lot in it. The work that I've done with you,

Diana Salcido (: 57:23

is work. And it is hard. And it's heavy. You have to look at things that you haven't wanted to look at. So I would say that's number one for me. Number two after that is my parents, they were so generous and got me a quantum bed. And I got this probably in September 2024. And in fact, maybe we can link something in your show notes just about more information about it. But this is basically a titanium bed. It's in my house. It has saved me from calling 911 so many times.

ot this probably in September: 2024

But it's this titanium bed that heats up so it's infrared heat and it has zero point antennas on it that basically Take energy from the air around us and it gets into your body to increase your bio photons So literally this quantum bed increases your cellular voltage and there's enough knowledge out there that low voltage means disease It means illness your cells can no longer work and act in like the the ways that they're supposed to so by laying on this quantum bed

They say that one hour on it equals 100 hours outside. Wow. And it literally uses sound and frequencies and vibration to force your cells into the patterns that they need to be in to communicate properly with each other. so this bed, mean, when I am feeling like my heart rate's going up or that I'm feeling panicky or if I have a lot of pain in my body, I go and lie on that. And within five minutes, I am so grounded.

Diana Salcido (: 58:23

They say that one hour on it equals 100 hours outside. Wow. And it literally uses sound and frequencies and vibration to force your cells into the patterns that they need to be in to communicate properly with each other. so this bed, mean, when I am feeling like my heart rate's going up or that I'm feeling panicky or if I have a lot of pain in my body, I go and lie on that. And within five minutes, I am so grounded.

I mean, there's so much I could go into on that just in terms of, you you use ZYTO with your Evox, but my immunologist also uses it to run the elite scan on me. So he can look at all the frequencies in my body and see what's going on with my organs and viruses, bacteria, all of this. And so you have to be in a very specific range for him to be able to clear you easily. And the range he wants you in is between 10 and 15. And so they test you at the very start. He sees your range. They're going to know if it's going to take a long time or, you know,

I mean, there's so much I could go into on that just in terms of, you use ZYTO with your Evox, but my immunologist also uses it to run the elite scan on me. So he can look at all the frequencies in my body and see what's going on with my organs and viruses, bacteria, all of this. And so you have to be in a very specific range for him to be able to clear you easily. And the range he wants you in is between 10 and 15. And so they test you at the very start. He sees your range. They're going to know if it's going to take a long time or, you know,

quick time to be able to clear you. so the last time I went in, well, actually a few times ago, it was February, and they tested my range. I was at 2.5, which is the lowest I've been in my entire cancer journey. And it scared me because that basically means that your body is so depleted and exhausted, you're just running on fumes. Anything above 15 means your body's overreactive. So it's like anything can kind of set it off. My body was like barely doing what it

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 59:52

needed to do. And so I hadn't been on the quantum bed in a while. And I said, you know what? I need to start going back and going on that every night. So starting at the beginning of February, I put my son to bed. And I would go lie on that for a few hours. I would fall asleep on it, basically. And the next time I went in was six weeks later. My range had gone from 2.5 all the way up to 12.89. I was right in that sweet spot. And when they cleared me, I was cleared in two rounds, where before, I would sit there for an hour.

an hour and a half while they tried to clear me. And that was it. That's really all I needed to know. And so the people who make the Quantum Bed will tell you that it increases your voltage, and they can show it. They actually have tests showing that it can. Well, and I have interviews with Danielle here at Ascent. And she is talking all about voltage and how when that voltage is low, healing is so, so, difficult. Exactly. we'll have to see if we can get an interview with the Quantum Bed people. They're wonderful. Yes. That'd be cool. Yes. So Quantum Bed for me, after

think it was sometime in the: 1900

Diana Salcido (: 01:00:52

After that, I invested in a really good Rife machine. So again, the Rife machine, was Dr. Rife and I think it was like the, you know, sometime in the 1900s, early 1900s. And he studied frequencies and how, you know, certain frequencies when they were, you know, blasted towards, you know, different disease, illnesses, bacteria, viruses, it could destroy them. So he created like a whole catalog of different frequencies to basically, you know, remedy certain illnesses.

really good one from Canada. actually is rife. And so I put that on me every night. So I have that on me while I'm on the quantum bed. So I would say those are like my two main ones. Acupuncture was another big one for me. I mean, supplements is a huge one. But I think it's so important with supplements to get tested. And again, for me, it's ZYTO. My immunologist tests all supplements on me through ZYTO because not all supplements are the same. And so I think that we think, OK,

really good one from Canada. actually is rife. And so I put that on me every night. So I have that on me while I'm on the quantum bed. So I would say those are like my two main ones. Acupuncture was another big one for me. I mean, supplements is a huge one. But I think it's so important with supplements to get tested. And again, for me, it's ZYTO. My immunologist tests all supplements on me through ZYTO because not all supplements are the same. And so I think that we think, OK, we

you need to be on a probiotic. You don't want to be on the wrong probiotic, because then you're just wasting money, or it's not doing what it needs to do. So I think having actually personalized supplements is huge. And this is one where when I first got diagnosed, I heard people are taking this and taking that. one of them for me, and I'll just speak to this specifically, but Essiaq-T was one of them. And that's big in the breast cancer world. But I was reading about it. It's like it can work for any type of cancer. So I ended up ordering like $500.

Diana Salcido (: 01:02:22

worth because I'm like, oh, well, I'm going to be drinking this every day. After about a week on it, I was just feeling sick. And I'm like, this is not making me feel good. I don't want to do it. So I stopped. And I ended up giving somebody else with cancer all the tea that I had bought. I just knew it wasn't for me. And just recently, my immunologist tested Essiaq on me. he's like, your body does not want that. Do not take it. And so it really just confirmed what I had been feeling. So I think it's one of those people, like, don't be afraid to stop things if they're making you feel sick.

invested money, sell it to someone else, whatever you need to do. But don't force your body to continue taking things that is making you feel ill. And I know we had spoken about this before. Some things are going to maybe not make you feel as good, right? Like if it's causing die-off or something like that. But I think, again, you can kind of tell the difference. And so for me, hydroxychloroquine was one. It made me feel very nauseous. But it wasn't messing up my elimination. So I wasn't getting diarrhea on it.

invested money, like sell it to someone else, whatever you need to do. But don't force your body to continue taking things that is making you feel ill. And I know we had spoken about this before. Some things are going to maybe not make you feel as good, right? Like if it's causing die off or something like that. But I think, again, you can kind of tell the difference. And so for me, hydroxychloroquine was one. It made me feel very nauseous. But it wasn't messing up my elimination. So I wasn't getting diarrhea on it.

I wasn't getting constipated on it, so I continued it. My body stayed pretty normal on it. I was just getting nauseous after it. But there's been other supplements where I've tried them, and either I really started getting diarrhea, or I wasn't going to the bathroom. I'm like, this is not for me. If my body can't keep up its normal elimination on it, then it's out of my lineup. And so you really have to just start figuring out what makes sense to your body with that. I feel like this is something I've been talking about so much more with other guests on the podcast.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:03:22

I wasn't getting constipated on it, so I continued it. My body stayed pretty normal on it. I was just getting nauseous after it. But there's been other supplements where I've tried them, and either I really started getting diarrhea, or I wasn't going to the bathroom. I'm like, this is not for me. If my body can't keep up its normal elimination on it, then it's out of my lineup. And so you really have to just start figuring out what makes sense to your body with that. I feel like this is something I've been talking about so much more with other guests on the podcast.

on the integrative medicine side and I'm so guilty of this myself, feeling like just because it's a supplement that's quote-unquote good.

on the integrative medicine side and I'm so guilty of this myself, feeling like just because it's a supplement that's quote unquote good, I should be taking it. But the reality that I'm just seeing more and more and more is even if it's a good supplement, if it's not something your body needs, it is just one more thing that your body needs to process and excrete and eliminate. And I think...

I should be taking it. Right. But the reality that I'm just seeing more and more and more is even if it's a good supplement, if it's not something your body needs, it is just one more thing that your body needs to process and excrete and eliminate. I think that actually becomes even more important and critical when you're in such a severe state like cancer, because the body is in such a weakened state. We want to give it as little tasks to do as possible. That's right. And so if you're taking

That actually becomes even more important and critical when you're in such a severe state like cancer, because the body is in such a weakened state. We want to give it as little tasks to do as possible. That's right. And so if you're taking turmeric, I don't know why this is always the example I give, but if you're taking turmeric and your body doesn't need turmeric, you're just giving it extra work. It's true. Of one more thing that it needs to process and excrete. And especially if your body doesn't want it.

Diana Salcido (: 01:04:31

.

I don't know why this is always the example I give, but if you're taking turmeric and your body doesn't need turmeric, you're just giving it extra work. It's true. Of one more thing that it needs to process and excrete. And especially if your body doesn't want it, then it's even more taxing. Because it's not just benign. It's like your body's like, why are you even putting this in here right now? And so yeah, I know it creates so much more work. So yeah, so I would say those are my major ones. then you were just kind of speaking to, I feel like there's so many freaks.

then it's even more taxing because it's not just benign. It's like your body's like, why are you even putting this in here right now? so yeah, I it creates so much more work. So yeah, so I would say those are my major ones. then you were just kind of speaking to, I feel like there's so many free things you can do. The things I just named, they all cost money. But it has been so important for me, like sunlight, natural sunlight. I get out on my balcony right when I wake up. I have to do that. And I try to get as much sun as I can.

things you can do. Like the things I just named, they all cost money. But it has been so important for me, like sunlight, natural sunlight. I get out on my balcony right when I wake up. Like I have to do that. And I try to get as much sun as I can throughout the day. I'm not afraid of the sun. I love the sun. So that's a big one. Trying to get like the same sleep wakes schedule for myself, which is pretty easy because I just fall asleep whenever my son falls asleep. And then, you know, I wake up when I have to take him to school.

throughout the day. I'm not afraid of the sun. I love the sun. So that's a big one. Trying to get the same sleep-wake schedule for myself, which is pretty easy because I just fall asleep whenever my son falls asleep. And then I wake up when I have to take him to school. So I think just giving your body as much predictability and stability as you can is so major. And I will say, rest. And this is something I've struggled with so much because, again,

Diana Salcido (: 01:05:32

So I think just giving your body as much predictability and stability as you can is so major. And I will say, rest. And this is something I've struggled with so much because, again, because I look OK, think people, if I just have to take a weekend where there's mornings where I'll drop my son off at school and I have to come back and take a nap, literally I just woke up. But I'm exhausted within two hours of wake up. And there was a while where I felt very guilty about that.

Look, okay I think people like if I just have to take a weekend where there's mornings where I'll drop my son off at school and I have to come back and take a nap and it literally I just woke up but I'm exhausted within two hours of wake up and There was a while where I felt very guilty about that But I I've really had to step back and think like I really don't care what other people think I can't give myself cancer again Like there's if I push through this and just pretend I'm not tired. I'm doing myself a disservice and this is life or death right now. This is

But I've really had to step back and think like I really don't care what other people think I can't give myself cancer again like there's if I push through this and just pretend I'm not tired I'm doing myself a disservice and this is life or death right now This is not just like I have a headache like this is literally I cannot keep stressing out my body So allowing yourself to rest and not feel guilty about it I think is that's been a lot of work for me a lot even just going to the beach and taking a walk I'm like my gosh people are at work right now, and I'm taking a beach walk

not just like, I have a headache. This is literally, I cannot keep stressing out my body. So allowing yourself to rest and not feel guilty about it, I think, is that's been a lot of work for me, a lot. Even just going to the beach and taking a walk, I'm like, my gosh, people are at work right now and I'm taking a beach walk. But it's like, my body needs this. I mean, it literally needs this right now. So it's been hard. It's hard not feeling guilty about some of this, too. Totally. And trying to push yourself back into whatever life looked like before.

But it's like my body needs this I mean literally needs this right now, so yeah, it's been hard It's hard not feeling guilty about some of this too totally and trying to push yourself back Into whatever life looked like before yes when it's like this you know to your point you said earlier

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:06:46

When it's like this, you know to your point you said earlier The emotional work is a really hard piece. Totally sometimes just resting is a really hard piece and it's like The most nourishing thing for me right Matt right now might not even be those supplements It might be saying no to that social event this weekend. It's true and just staying home all weekend. It's true I think we're in this society. We're doing is so rewarded like striving and accomplishing and so if you're

The emotional work is a really hard piece. Sometimes just resting is a really hard piece. And it's like the most nourishing thing for me right now might not even be those supplements. It might be saying no to that social event this weekend. It's true. And just staying home all weekend. It's true. I think we're in this society where doing is so rewarded, like striving and accomplishing. And so if you're not doing those things, you can start feeling like a loser or that you're just taking and not giving anything.

not doing those things, you can start feeling like a loser, or that you're just taking and not giving anything. so yeah, I think for most people, not just people who are dealing with cancer, that can feel very strange and almost counterintuitive. Because it's like, always just want to be doing. If I'm not doing, then I'm not healing. But that's not true. Sometimes it is really just not doing anything that can be very healing. So it's hard. Yeah.

And so yeah, I think for most people, not just people who are dealing with cancer, that can feel very strange and almost counterintuitive. Because it's like, always just want to be doing. If I'm not doing, then I'm not healing. But that's not true. Sometimes it is really just not doing anything that can be very healing. So it's hard.

I'm gonna plug the charger in. It's been freaking me out. sure. No, no problem.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:07:46

I'm gonna plug the charger in. It's been freaking me out. sure. No, no problem.

Diana Salcido (: 01:08:06

So one of the things I do want to ask about is diet. Because I just feel like this is one of the first things everyone comes to. And there's so much contradictory narratives about this that I think is very, very confusing for cancer patients of, know, so-and-so healed on a juicing diet, but so-and-so is promoting a keto diet. And then this other doctor's promoting a carnivore diet.

So one of the things I do want to ask about is diet. OK. Because I just feel like this is one of the first things everyone comes to. there's so much contradictory narratives about this that I think is very, very confusing for cancer patients of, you know, so and so healed on a juicing diet. But so and so is promoting a keto diet. And then this other doctor is promoting a carnivore diet. Yeah.

The point beneath that, and I think this goes without saying, but it's also worth repeating, that we are all so bio-individual. And the supplements that are right for you versus me, the diet that is right for you versus me is so different. And this is what is so hard. Because I think, especially when you're in a cancer journey and there's so much conflicting information,

The point beneath that, and I think this goes without saying, but it's also worth repeating, that we are all so bio individual. And the supplements that are right for you versus me, the diet that is right for you versus me is so different. And this is what is so hard. Because I think, especially when you're in a cancer journey and there's so much conflicting information, you want to just know, what is the right diet for cancer? The question we need to ask is, what is the right diet

You want to just know what is the right diet for cancer. Right. The question we need to ask is what is the right diet for me? Yeah. But that's hard because we're in such a state of fear and, we hear stories that all of these people healed on a certain diet. And so we go, maybe that's true for me too. So tell us a little bit about that and maybe even how did you figure out what was right for you? Yeah. So it was so that's, I would say diet's probably the hardest one. I've had, I changed my diet. So.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:09:02

Yeah. But that's hard because we're in such a state of fear and, we hear stories that all of these people healed on a certain diet. And so we go, maybe that's true for me too. So tell us a little bit about that and maybe even how did you figure out what was right for you? Yeah. So it was so that's, I would say diet's probably the hardest one. I've had, I changed my diet. So I think this is where you have to know that you, you're allowed to change things. And as long as you're still breathing, there's time.

I think this is where you have to know that you're allowed to change things and as long as you're still breathing, there's time. And so you're not, don't feel like you've done damage with diet. Like as long as you're eating real, like grown from the ground, from the earth, know, animal protein, like good raised animal proteins and all that. I feel like you're on a good path no matter what. Like lay off the packaged foods. I have not even looked at alcohol since I got diagnosed. I mean, there's just some things where it's a non-negotiable.

And so you're not you don't feel like you've done damage with diet like as long as you're eating Real like grown from the ground from the earth, you know animal protein like good raised animal proteins and all that I feel like you're on a good path. No matter what like lay off the packaged foods I have not even looked at alcohol since I got diagnosed. I mean, there's just some things where it's a non-negotiable It's out of my diet. I have changed my diet so many times and I'm still alive. Yeah

y this past summer, so summer: 2025

Diana Salcido (: 01:10:24

I just wasn't feeling well. And so I actually switched to more of like a lintel-based, like to get my proteins, like lintel and beans. And I was even doing like white rice, which I hadn't been letting myself have a lot of carbs. And once I laid off like a lot of the protein, my numbers looked so much better. However, that worked for a few months. And then I had my hernia repair surgery, and I was still not doing as much protein. And so my actual like blood counts have been struggling.

And I was even doing like white rice, which I hadn't been letting myself have a lot of carbs. And once I laid off like a lot of the protein, my numbers looked so much better. However, that worked for a few months. And then I had my hernia repair surgery, and I was still not doing as much protein. And so my actual like blood counts have been struggling. Because in order to make white blood cells and know, the platelets, all of that, you need protein.

order to make white blood cells and platelets, all of that, you need protein. And so I think I had gone a little too extreme on the other side. And I probably was getting only like 40 grams of protein a day, whereas before I was getting like 120 grams of protein a day. And so I would say for me, the biggest factor has been protein. And so that's been my hurdle is how much is too much and how much is too little. So really trying to find that balance.

I think I had gone a little too extreme on the other side and I probably was getting only like, you know 40 grams of protein a day whereas before I was getting like 120 grams of protein a day and so I would say for me the biggest factor has been protein and so that's been my hurdle is how much is too much and how much is too little so really trying to find that balance but I've never done the juicing thing so I actually juicing makes me very bloated and gassy if I drink a

I've never done the juicing thing. I actually juicing makes me very bloated and gassy. If I drink a juice, I will look nine months pregnant. If I eat a lot of vegetables, I feel disgusting. I look pregnant. There's something about vegetables going through my intestines right now that it's too much work for them. Even if it's just juiced, it's too much work. And so I know the two vegetables I can eat, and I eat them daily. And it's Brussels sprouts and broccoli. Those are my two vegetables.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:11:31

a juice, I will look nine months pregnant. If I eat a lot of vegetables, I feel disgusting. I look pregnant. There's something about vegetables going through my intestines right now that it's too much work for them. Even if it's just juiced, it's too much work. And so I know the two vegetables I can eat, and I eat them daily. And it's Brussels sprouts and broccoli. Those are my two vegetables. And they're the cruciferous family, so it's good for hormones and stuff.

vegetables and they're good, they're cruciferous family, you know, so it's good for hormones and stuff. but it's just you really.

I just try not to put too much stock into what other people are doing. And I am very good at listening to my body. And if I eat something and I do not feel energized and like I want to go take on the world after I eat it, it's cut. It's out of my diet. And so I think just really listening to it. And I will say that same integrative oncologist I worked with who I asked her about chemo, I asked her, am I eating too much protein? And she flat out said, it's difficult for me to even work with people who are just juicing.

I had asked her, should I just be juicing, because it was so early on. And she's like, it is very difficult for me to work with people just juicing, because they're not getting everything they need. So your body's having trouble repairing. And she's like, you need so much repair right now. And so that's where I really, like I said, you're not stuck doing anything. You have time. And this goes to at the start of a diagnosis. mean, I was stage 3C. I was one step away from stage 4. And my body literally was decimated.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:12:31

I had asked her, should I just be juicing, because it was so early on. And she's like, it is very difficult for me to work with people just juicing, because they're not getting everything they need. So your body's having trouble repairing. And she's like, you need so much repair right now. And so that's where I really, like I said, you're not stuck doing anything. You have time. And this goes to at the start of a diagnosis. mean, I was stage 3C. I was one step away from stage 4. And my body literally was decimated.

If anybody was almost at death's door, it was me. And I'm doing quite well now. I'm not going to say things are where I want them to be, but I'm doing quite well considering everything I've gone through. But my attitude is always, you have time to change things. Just because you do something for two weeks, it doesn't mean it's going to kill you. Don't panic about things. It's very easy to switch it up. And I think that your body can adjust. Your body is made to adjust to things. And so that's always

has been my attitude with food. But I have gone through so many different diets. When I was so skinny after my first surgeries, I was walking around with mason jars full of nuts and seeds. had pumpkin seeds in there, cashews, pistachios, everything. And I was drinking them because I was trying so hard to gain weight. But I couldn't gain weight. But I was probably eating three mason jars full of nuts every day. my gosh. I mean, it was intense. But if I tried to eat a handful of nuts, I would probably put on five pounds right

Diana Salcido (: 01:14:01

Right, so your body's constantly changing and so, you know Like I said even with supplements your body changes so quickly that what you needed three months ago is not what you needed now and that's why it's so important to always check in get your Supplements muscle tested by somebody whatever it might be and really just see do I even need this anymore? Because it changes pretty quickly. This is what I was gonna highlight is Again, and I get it. We want to be able to just go great and this is the diet I'm gonna be on for the next year or two years

But the body is so fluid and is shifting so quickly sometimes in fact when we give it what it needs it can shift so quickly and so being able it takes more energy and it takes more attention and Intention to be able to go I was feeling really good on the supplements the diet I was doing for you know five months six months, but I'm starting to feel off That might be a cue. Yes to reassess some of these things and again It takes a lot more energy to do

that than to just in some ways kind of go on cruise control. And that's not knocking anyone for wanting to be able to go on cruise control. I get it. Right. There's so many other things happening. It's so overwhelming. It is. it can be very overwhelming to keep checking in and going, it might be time to change this now. But I think having worked with so many patients in cancer, I think that's one of your strongest suits is that you, you have been able to pivot every time.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:15:01

that than to just in some ways kind of go on cruise control. And that's not knocking anyone for wanting to be able to go on cruise control. I get it. Right. There's so many other things happening. It's so overwhelming. It is. it can be very overwhelming to keep checking in and going, it might be time to change this now. But I think having worked with so many patients in cancer, I think that's one of your strongest suits is that you, you have been able to pivot every time.

you felt you needed to very quickly. I will say I've even done that with practitioners. mean, the people I was seeing in the beginning, they served a reason during that time. And then I found other people. I have switched practitioners so often. And not because I didn't like those people. It's just, OK, what else is out there? And then I've gone back to some of the people. So again, at different times, if something's happening, like, you know what? That person really helped me through something similar. I'm going back to them. And so don't feel like you're stuck.

many options out there. And just because you might know what you know, other people know other things. asking questions, like getting referrals from people, I think that's how I met most of my people. I have some of the coolest stories about just saying a prayer right before going into like a new place and just saying like, God, help me meet somebody who's going to point me in the direction where you want me to go. It has happened every time. mean, that's how I found the quantum bed. That's how I found like one of the doctors I work with. I mean, it's just been I see how everything

Diana Salcido (: 01:16:30

has just worked out and I'm like that person was exactly who I needed at that point in time. And then, you know, when I feel like I'm like plateauing out, it's kind of like, okay, what's the next thing? You know, so I'm constantly changing up my routine and don't be scared by that. It's actually kind of cool because then you see how your body responds to something new. But you will start plateauing if you're doing the same exact thing every day. So I actually encourage people to make changes. Yeah, yeah. And ideally you have some of those great practitioners. I know

the immunologist who does the zyto testing on you. Yeah, just that bio energetic testing, the muscle testing, whatever it is to be able to go, yeah, this we're testing, this isn't serving you anymore, rather than guesswork. Exactly. To be fair, I think you are more than most like particularly attuned to your body and your kind of body intuition and interoception is incredibly high. So I think you're right. You can really rely on that a lot and go, this doesn't feel right. And it doesn't feel right in kind of a bad kind of

Not in a, this is just discomfort. Right. Whereas I will say, think for some people that can be hard assessing, you know, I feel off, but is it off that this isn't right for me or is it the kind of off of, no, this is good for me. It's just a little uncomfortable right now. Yes. Yes. You know, my, integrative oncologist I work with, she actually kind of had an intuition test. And so she had me say something that was very true. Like, I love Jacob, like my son, like I love Jacob and just kind of like see how that feels with your body.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:17:30

Not in a, this is just discomfort. Right. Whereas I will say, think for some people that can be hard assessing, you know, I feel off, but is it off that this isn't right for me or is it the kind of off of, no, this is good for me. It's just a little uncomfortable right now. Yes. Yes. You know, my, integrative oncologist I work with, she actually kind of had an intuition test. And so she had me say something that was very true. Like, I love Jacob, like my son, like I love Jacob and just kind of like see how that feels with your body.

And then you test it against, I don't love Jacob. And like, I actually could barely get those words out when I said them. I even told her, I'm like, I think I need to do another example. Cause that is just so opposite of like anything I even feel or think that I can't even say those words. And so we tried something else, but even testing that on yourself, like, like I don't want to do chemo and like letting that like sit there and then like saying something like, I do want to do chemo and like, how does that feel in your body?

actually just seeing the two opposing statements, how do they feel in your body as you say them, and just kind of sit with it for a minute. And so, again, start out with something that you know is 100 % true and feel that. And so if you start testing that more often, then you can start kind of feeling that more in your body so when you say things. I think that could be a good starting point for some people. Me, like you said, I kind of already know. As soon as someone says something to me, I feel like my body reacts pretty strongly. So I'm like, ooh.

Diana Salcido (: 01:19:00

didn't like that, I can feel it. Yeah, completely. I mean, you're mapping yeses and nos viscerally in the body is what I'm hearing. So when you say something like, I love my son, notice what that feels like. And so you kind of go, this is what a yes feels like in my body. And then when you say a very untrue statement and you notice what happens in your body, then you're like, OK, this is what a no feels like. And so then when you bring that same kind of

didn't like that, you know, I can feel it. So yeah, completely. I mean, you're mapping, you're mapping yeses and nos viscerally in the body is what I'm hearing. So when you say something like, love my son, notice what that feels like. And so you kind of go, this is what a yes feels like in my body. And then when you say a very untrue statement and you notice what happens in your body, then you're like, OK, this is what a no feels like. And so then when you bring that same kind of

protocol to something like chemo or radiation or surgery or this diet. Yes. Yes. And you're able to go, I'm asking about this diet.

And I feel, or I'm asking about this chemo. And I feel fear mentally in my mind. And yet, the body sensation I'm getting is matching with a yes. And it can be powerful or vice versa, right? Correct. It can be really powerful. Yeah, definitely. And so, yeah, I just think it's so important to just really, I feel like this world can be so noisy. And especially in this healing cancer, everyone has an opinion about how to heal cancer nowadays. Like even if you've never had it or you know

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:19:38

And I feel, or I'm asking about this chemo. And I feel fear mentally in my mind. And yet, the body sensation I'm getting is matching with a yes. And it can be powerful or vice versa, right? Correct. It can be really powerful. Yeah, definitely. And so, yeah, I just think it's so important to just really, I feel like this world can be so noisy. And especially in this healing cancer, everyone has an opinion about how to heal cancer nowadays. Like even if you've never had it or you know

someone who's had it or whatever, everyone has an opinion. And so I think for me, it was just really...

someone who's had it or whatever, everyone has an opinion. And so I think for me, it was just really.

like knowing what just made sense to me. And so I think I was telling you before too, that as soon as I met with someone who would say, you need, you need to blah, blah, blah, that conversation was pretty much over for me because that means they were trying to fit me into a box. And I mean, the way that my colon cancer presented and the way that it's going to be healed is going to be different than anybody else's with colon cancer. Like there is no box you can put people into.

Diana Salcido (: 01:20:45

And I think that's the coolest thing. Like I think about this just in terms of just humans in general. It's like, know, when we all mess up, it all kind of looks the same. But like our victory stories are all so different from one another. And I think that's the coolest thing. There's no one way to overcome things. And so just because it worked for someone else, don't get defeated if you're like, well, that's not working for me. It just means there's something else out there for you. And, you know, for me, I think sometimes when I look at it too, it's like,

I feel like a lot of times we miss actually what's inside here. I feel like so many, I think we have all the answers inside. like I said, for me, the healing really was me going inside and just what's in there? What am I not digesting, eliminating, whatever it might be? I I got colon cancer for a reason. So really, it's just been trying to figure out what do I need to get out of my body? And sometimes when I think about cancer in my body, because it's hard not to have images of it, right?

the tumors in your body. Like right now I have a pretty big nodule on my thyroid and it's unsettling. I don't like it. Like I can feel it when I swallow, you know, all of this and but sometimes I just like I'll close my eyes and I'll look at my body and think I have had so much stuff in here. Like so much stuff. Whether it's like actual physical toxins. I mean during my 20s and 30s I binge drink more than the most, you know, the rest of them. Like I mean I did things to my body that just weren't good for my body. And so

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:21:45

the tumors in your body. Like right now I have a pretty big nodule on my thyroid and it's unsettling. I don't like it. Like I can feel it when I swallow, you know, all of this and but sometimes I just like I'll close my eyes and I'll look at my body and think I have had so much stuff in here. Like so much stuff. Whether it's like actual physical toxins. I mean during my 20s and 30s I binge drink more than the most, you know, the rest of them. Like I mean I did things to my body that just weren't good for my body. And so

On top of that, then, it's all the emotional stuff, like all the things that I've been carrying since I was a little girl, then throughout my 20s, throughout my 30s, just all these things. So sometimes I just think of it as, what else am I still working on eliminating, on getting out? Because that's how my cancer feels to me. It feels like I have a lot of stuff in me that wants out, whether it's emotional or it's actual a physical thing going on that needs to be healed. But I mean, it's always for me. There's something else that

that needs to get out of me. So however I need to do that, that's how I'm gonna do it. So. Yeah. I mean, what a perfect segue, because I can't, we can't close this conversation without talking about the emotional piece. Right. Because obviously this is what my work is and what we're doing all day long. And what I feel like I'm on such a mission to educate on is that unmetabolized trauma, past experiences, repressed emotions really can contribute to why cancer is able to thrive in the body. And so I

that needs to get out of me. So however I need to do that, that's how I'm gonna do it. So. Yeah, I mean, what a perfect segue, because I can't, we can't close this conversation without talking about the emotional piece. Right. Because obviously this is what my work is and what we're doing all day long and what I feel like I'm on such a mission to educate on is that.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:23:05

unmetabolized trauma, past experiences, repressed emotions really can contribute to why cancer is able to thrive in the body. And so I want to spend a little time on, and not that we have to get into two, two specifics, but a little bit of time on.

want to spend a little time on, and not that we have to get into two-two specifics, but a little bit of time on what role you felt emotions, past trauma may have played in the journey, and then a little bit more of the role of starting to process that not as like an adjunct, but as a, this is a part of my cancer treatment. Right, right. OK, so it was, I mean, from the moment I was diagnosed, I knew. I mean, it was one of those things where I'm like, I know exactly why I got cancer.

what role you felt emotions past trauma may have played in the journey and then a little bit more of the role of starting to process that not as like an adjunct, but as a this is a part of my cancer treatment. Right, right. OK, so it was I mean, from the moment I was diagnosed, I I knew I mean, it was one of those things where I'm like, I know exactly why I got cancer. And I know that I have so much inner work to do because I had been carrying so

And I know that I have so much inner work to do because I had been carrying so much for so long. I know I briefly mentioned I went through a really bad divorce, horrible ensuing custody issues over, you know, my baby boy. My my son was only six months old. And so it was just one of those things like I had to stay strong for so long. And then Covid happened and we were so isolated, you know, for two years. California had it the worst with, you know, quarantining and all of that. So there was just so

much for so long. I know I briefly mentioned I went through a really bad divorce, horrible ensuing custody issues over, you know, my baby boy. My my son was only six months old. And so it was just one of those things like I had to stay strong for so long. And then COVID happened and we were so isolated, you know, for two years. California had it the worst with, you know, quarantining and all of that. So there was just so much and probably like a four year span for me where my entire world was

Diana Salcido (: 01:24:15

much and probably like a four year span for me where my entire world was ripped out, know, just from underneath, you know, just feeling so controlled and so powerless. And then I didn't even mention this, but three months before my diagnosis, our house burned down. So my son and I had moved in with my parents. We had been living with them for five and a half years and we literally had this spontaneous combustion fire in February, 2024. We lost everything. The house was gone in 20 minutes. And so then I was diagnosed.

s combustion fire in February: 2024

And my entire being was stripped of any comfort I had ever known. Nothing made it feel good anymore. I didn't want alcohol, even though I think alcohol had kind of been my go-to for numbing out. And then I didn't want food. Food didn't make me feel good anymore. And I would say food was a close second for me as far as just like eating, going out. It was social, all of that. So those were like two big comforts for me. I no longer had them. So I lost all my possessions. I lost all the things that made me feel comfortable.

I'd ever known. Nothing made it feel good anymore. I didn't want alcohol, even though I think alcohol had kind of been my go-to for numbing out. And then I didn't want food. Food didn't make me feel good anymore. And I would say food was a close second for me as far as just like eating, going out. was social, all of that. So those were like two big comforts for me. I no longer had them. So I lost all my possessions. I lost all the things that made me feel comfortable. And then you combine that with now you're faced with your mortality. I mean, at the beginning, we

You you know combine that with now you're faced with your mortality I mean at the beginning we really didn't know if I was going to live or die at that point and there were many moments where I'm like this is it and so then it became this reckoning for me of I Could leave my son here and he's gonna grow up without a mom. So that became my fight It was no way that it's not happening. So it became very clear to me There's no way I'm living this leaving this world Like I will do whatever it takes and I will face whatever it is

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:25:20

really didn't know if I was going to live or die at that point. And there were many moments where I'm like, this is it. And so then it became this reckoning for me of I could leave my son here and he's going to grow up without a mom. So that became my fight. was no way that it's not happening. So it became very clear to me there is no way I'm leaving this world. Like I will do whatever it takes and I will face whatever it is that I have been numbing out for most of my adulthood, but also

t you, I think it was in July: 2024

that today because I really feel like, fast forward almost two years later, I can see I had a lot of denial going on. I had a lot of not willing to accept certain truths in my life or hoping for better things or sacrificing my own boundaries to try to keep peace, whatever it might be. And so we have just worked through so much. it has been, and I'm not done. mean, every time I come in, it's like some days, some weeks I meet with you twice.

can see I had a lot of like denial going on I had a lot of Not willing to accept certain truths in my life or hoping for better things or Sacrificing my own boundaries to try to keep peace whatever it might be And so we have just worked through so much and it has been and I'm not done I mean every time I come in it's like some days I some weeks I meet with you twice a week and it's like what are we gonna talk about there's always something to talk about always and

Diana Salcido (: 01:26:44

week and it's like, what are we going to talk about? There's always something to talk about always. And, you know, I just feel like this work has been the most rewarding for me. And there's even been sessions where I'll come in with horrible pain, you know, on my left side. And by the end of the session, the pain has been lifted. So I just feel like the emotional weight of my childhood, what I subjected myself to a lot through my 20s and 30s, my divorce, the custody stuff, seeing my own son going through things, nothing makes you

You know, I just feel like this work has been the most rewarding for me. And there's even been sessions where I'll come in with horrible pain, you know, on my left side. And by the end of the session, the pain has been lifted. So I just feel like the emotional weight of my childhood, what I subjected myself to a lot through my 20s and 30s, my divorce, the custody stuff, seeing my own son going through things, nothing makes you feel more powerless than watching your child go, like be subjected to things they shouldn't.

feel more powerless than watching your child go, like be subjected to things they shouldn't be. And I was even thinking, here I am with cancer. in some ways, it makes you feel like you have some control in your life, because you're like, OK, I got to do this to heal, and I got to do that. And I think about parents who have children who are diagnosed with cancer. That would be a million times worse than anything I'm going through right now, because what I've had to watch my son go through just in terms of a divorce and living between two homes has been so

And I was even thinking, you know, here I am with cancer. And in some ways, it makes you feel like you have some control in your life, because you're like, OK, I got to do this to heal, and I got to do that. And I think about parents who have children who are diagnosed with cancer. That would be a million times worse than anything I'm going through right now, because what I've had to watch my son go through just in terms of a divorce and living between two homes has been so painful for me. I just thank God that this is me who has gotten cancer, not myself.

painful for me. I just thank God that this is me who has gotten cancer and not my son because I don't know how I would make it through that. And so I just think that being able to work on all of these things, it's amazing what we've been able to dig up. I mean, really, like, I look back on things that I thought were true and how I can just see these things now. you know, we've talked recently, like, you know, something came into my life from the past.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:27:49

because I don't know how I would make it through that. And so I just think that being able to work on all of these things, it's amazing what we've been able to dig up. Well, I mean, really, I look back on things that I thought were true and how I can just see these things now. And we've talked recently, something came into my life from the past. And just seeing how different I reacted to this situation,

And just seeing how different I reacted to this situation, I didn't even know I had grown that much. And I was so proud of myself because it wasn't even difficult. the sense of, in that moment, I was like, this doesn't even make sense anymore. And just seeing things so much clearer than I even would have probably a year ago. And so I'm just so grateful for the growth that this has brought me. And one of the things I didn't mention, too, as far as my healing is just

I didn't even know I had grown that much. And I was so proud of myself because it wasn't even difficult. that moment, I was like, this doesn't even make sense anymore. And just seeing things so much clearer than I even would have probably a year ago. And so I'm just so grateful for the growth that this has brought me. And one of the things I didn't mention, too, as far as my healing is just the spiritual part. I'm Catholic. And so for me, a big part of this has been my

like the spiritual part. You know, I'm Catholic. And so for me, a big part of this has been my faith. And just like, I know that when I get super irritable, like I go to the sacraments, like I have to go to confession. like confession brings me back down because it's kind of like I need to go empty. You I need to go say out loud what I've done and, you know, get the absolution. And like that's made a difference. Like when I'm feeling hopeless or alone, I go to mass. And there have been moments in mass where I just start sobbing, like where I just get such a release where I'm not

faith. And just like I know that when I get super irritable, like I go to the sacraments, like I have to go to confession and like confession brings me back down because it's kind of like I need to go empty. You know, I need to go say out loud what I've done and, you know, get the absolution. And like that's made a difference. Like when I'm feeling hopeless or alone, I go to mass and there have been moments in mass where I just start sobbing, like where I just get such a release where I'm not going to get as I'm distracted in my day to day life. And so that has just been so grounding for me.

Diana Salcido (: 01:29:14

going to get as I'm distracted in my day-to-day life. And so that has just been so grounding for me, just coupled with the emotional work we're doing and then really having to see a bigger purpose in all of this, because there is a bigger purpose. This is not arbitrary. There's a reason that I have cancer, that I am the person in my family, in my circle to have this cancer at this time, and so really trying to see how it can transform me, because there's no way that God wanted me to be the

like just coupled with the emotional work we're doing and then really having to see a bigger purpose in all of this because there is a bigger purpose. This is not arbitrary. There's a reason that I have cancer, that I am the person in my family, in my circle to have this cancer at this time. And so really trying to see how it can transform me because there's no way that God wanted me to be the person I was two years ago. know, like there is so much growing and you know that I need to

person I was two years ago. There is so much growing that I need to do that this is my opportunity to do it. And I have a hard time when I hear people say cancer is a gift. That still doesn't resonate with me. I actually like it. That's when I feel my body kind of go in because I don't see this as a gift. I see it as something that has happened to me. And you can either fight it or you can go with it. And I really feel like I have gone with it. There have been moments where I've why me and I've been angry.

to that this is my opportunity to do it. And I have a hard time when I hear people say cancer is a gift. That still doesn't resonate with me. I actually like it. That's when I feel my body kind of go in, because I don't see this as a gift. I see it as something that has happened to me. And you can either fight it or you can go with it. And I really feel like I have gone with it. There have been moments where I've, know, why me? And I've been angry. But for the most part, I really have to step back and just say, how is this going? What do I still need to

But for the most part, I really have to step back and just say, how is this going? What do I still need to heal or what needs to be transformed? And how can I do that? There's actually there's more power in it, I think, than people think, because you feel like there's things going on in your body that you don't want happening. And still, for me, there are some things. But at the same time, like I feel like if you accept it and you kind of surrender to the process, you're you're not going to create as much resistance for yourself.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:30:19

to heal or what needs to be transformed. And how can I do that? There's actually more power in it, I think, than people think, because you feel like there's things going on in your body that you don't want happening. And still, for me, there are some things. But at the same time, I feel like if you accept it and you kind of surrender to the process, you're not going to create as much resistance for yourself. And so I feel like there is a bigger purpose in all of this. And so that's kind of like,

And so I just feel like there is a bigger purpose in all of this. And so that's kind of like what I have to focus on. And so the healing, like the emotional healing for me, and really just what's the bigger purpose in this and my life? Because I'm not going to die anytime soon. Like I've already declared that. And so where am I going to go with this, basically? Yeah, it's hard and it's scary and it's confronting to ask the question, what is here for me in this? What can I?

What I have to focus on and so the healing like the emotional healing for me and really just what's the bigger purpose in this and my life because I'm not gonna die anytime soon like I've already you know declared that and so we're where am I gonna Go with this basically. Yeah, it's it's hard and it's scary and it's confronting to ask the question What is here for me in this right? What can I? take out of this grow from this in and it's I love hearing that perspective because

take out of this, grow from this in. And it's, I love hearing that perspective because I get people sometimes on social media saying that I'm victim shaming. When I talk about contributors to disease and why was this disease able to thrive in the body? And what I found in my very, very tame cancer experience compared to yours was

I get people sometimes on social media saying that I'm victim shaming. When I talk about contributors to disease and why was this disease able to thrive in the body and what I found in my very very tame cancer experience compared to yours was when the conventional doctor said, there's no you know there's really no reason we don't know why sorry I felt incredibly disempowered versus on the integrative side hearing

Diana Salcido (: 01:31:35

when the conventional doctor said, nope, there's no, you know, there's really no reason. We don't know why. Sorry. I felt incredibly disempowered versus on the integrative side hearing.

There's a reason. Your body is made to fight cancer. So if it's not able to, something has gone awry, and we're here to help figure that out. That, to me, felt incredibly empowering. Definitely. I feel like just being told, we don't know why it's genetics or whatever. I I'm probably genetically predisposed to a lot of things, but there's no cancer in my family. So why did I with cancer? yeah, but it's so true.

There's a reason. Your body is made to fight cancer. So if it's not able to, something has gone awry, and we're here to help figure that out. That, to me, felt incredibly empowering. Definitely. I feel like just being told, we don't know why it's genetics or whatever. I'm probably genetically predisposed to a lot of things, but there's no cancer in my family. So why did I up with cancer? But it's so true.

It really, I don't think it's victim shaming at all. Like I feel.

It really, I don't think it's victim shaming at all. Like I feel, I feel very.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:32:22

I feel very weirdly empowered through this situation because it's giving me a chance to step back. And I feel like sometimes when we get sick, our world is so narrow because I actually think that we can make things harder for ourselves, especially in the emotional world. It's like we focus so much on our pain and our hurt, and we don't think there's a way out of it. I feel like getting cancer showed me there is a way out of it. I don't know if I ever would.

weirdly empowered through this situation because it's giving me a chance to step back. And I feel like sometimes when we get sick, our world is so narrow because I actually think that we can make things harder for ourselves, especially in the emotional world. It's like we focus so much on our pain and our hurt, and we don't think there's a way out of it. I feel like getting cancer showed me there is a way out of it. I don't know if I ever would have gotten to where I was.

would have gotten to where I was without getting cancer. And that's really weird to say on some level, because I think I was too comfortable. Even though my life wasn't great, I was comfortable. And so I had to be very uncomfortable to actually face the things that I have been numbing away for decades. And I don't think I would never feel ashamed if someone said, I think that might have contributed to your cancer. To me, I'm like, heck, yes, it did. I think that was the biggest driver of my

without getting cancer. And that's really weird to say on some level, because I think I was too comfortable. Even though my life wasn't great, I was comfortable. And so I had to be very uncomfortable to actually face the things that I have been numbing away for decades. And I don't think I would never feel ashamed if someone said, I think that might have contributed to your cancer. To me, I'm like, heck, yes, it did. I think that was the biggest driver of my cancer was me

cancer was me trying to avoid and not feel all of the big things that were going on inside. that's not like, I don't know. feel like sometimes maybe people think like you're calling them like bitter, unforgiving, like, I haven't gotten over things or whatever. But it's not about that. It's just sometimes we just carry stuff that's too much. And maybe we don't have help to get through it. And I think that that was, for me in my situation, that was it. I had to carry very big things from the time

Diana Salcido (: 01:33:24

Trying to avoid and not feel all of the big things that were going on inside And that's not like I don't know I feel like sometimes maybe people think like you're calling them like bitter unforgiving or you know, like I haven't gotten over things or whatever, but it's not about that It's just sometimes where we just carry stuff that's too much and maybe we don't have help to get through it and I think that that was for me in my situation that was that I had to carry very big things from the time I was a little girl and then

I was a little girl. And then bigger things happened as I became an adult. And I don't think I ever was taught how to handle those things. And then even as an adult, it's like you're just expected to get over it and move on. And I couldn't. I really just couldn't. And so this is like my time to actually deal with those things. I don't, I mean, really, I'm grateful for the work we've done because I don't think I would have come this far. I honestly don't know if I would have made it. And even with my son, he really is my

bigger things happened as I became an adult. And I don't think I ever was taught how to handle those things. And then even as an adult, it's like you're just expected to get over it and move on. And I couldn't. I really just couldn't. And so this is like my time to actually deal with those things. So I mean, really, I'm grateful for the work we've done because I don't think I would have come this far. I honestly don't know if I would have made it. And even with my son, he really is my reason.

reason if I didn't have him who has brought so much meaning to my life, I don't know if I would have fought this hard. even though it's been harder as a single mom to go through this, I mean, don't know if my drive to live would have been just so strong if I didn't have him either. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's that feeling of.

didn't have him who, you know, has brought so much meaning to my life. I don't know if I would have fought this hard. So even though it's been harder as a single mom to go through this, I mean, I don't know if my drive to live would have been just so strong if I didn't have him either. Yeah, yeah. I think it's that feeling of...

Diana Salcido (: 01:34:42

perception of blame. Well, you did this wrong, so you got cancer, so you deserve it. And that's not the message at all. You know, if there's unprocessed trauma, yeah, you didn't have the tools you needed to, right? To process it. And how is this my body saying, Hey, I can't continue to carry some of these things anymore or fight these underlying infections or these nutrient deficiencies.

a challenge of I might be in a place now where I can go get the support I need to address that trauma that I couldn't 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 50 years ago. Exactly. Whatever it might be. Exactly. Yeah, no. I'm just very grateful. Yeah. OK, last two questions, and I promise we'll land this plane. feel like we could go for hours. I know. I'm looking at my notes. I'm like, didn't even talk about that. I think this is very important to talk about. I'm.

I actually don't know that we've ever talked about this one on one. I have so many clients and it breaks my heart who are in Christian circles, Catholic circles, religious circles, who have moments of deep fear, grief, despair, anger.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:35:37

I actually don't know that we've ever talked about this one on one. I have so many clients and it breaks my heart who are in...

Christian circles, Catholic circles, religious circles who have moments of deep fear, grief, despair, anger, and their community meets them with, if you just trusted God enough, you wouldn't be feeling any of this. And let me tell you, the rage I feel when I hear that, I could just run up to those people and shake them. It is truly, in my opinion, spiritual gaslighting and so incredibly harmful.

And their community meets them with, if you just trusted God enough, you wouldn't be feeling any of this. And let me tell you, the rage I feel when I hear that, I could just run up to those people and shake them. It is truly, in my opinion, spiritual gaslighting and so incredibly harmful. And I just love your perspective because having worked with you for almost two years now, I have seen such a beautiful symbiotic.

And I just love your perspective because having worked with you for almost two years now. I I have seen such a beautiful symbiotic relationship you have with your spirituality and your relationship with God

relationship you have with your spirituality and your relationship with God.

Diana Salcido (: 01:36:33

in some of these darkest moments. And I haven't, I don't think I've seen you one bit think or feel that if I'm afraid, I just must not be trusting God. Yeah. But I'd love your perspective on that. Yeah, that's huge. Like even as you say it, I'm like, there's so much in that. Yeah, for me, I feel like my only anchor in all of this has been God. I know that he created me with all of these emotions and I'm not afraid of my emotions.

in some of these darkest moments. And I haven't, don't think I've seen you one bit think or feel that if I'm afraid, I just must not be trusting God enough. But I'd love your perspective on that. Yeah, that's huge. Like even as you say it, I'm like, there's so much in that.

Yeah, for me, I feel like my only anchor in all of this has been God. So I know that he created me with all of these emotions. And I'm not afraid of my emotions. I think I was before, but I'm not anymore because I have had to feel them to the utmost. mean, the first three months, I was planning my funeral in my head. mean, you're really like you have to come to terms with I could meet God soon. Right. So that got me to a place where I

Like I think I was before, but I'm not anymore because I have had to feel them to the utmost. mean, the first three months I was planning my funeral in my head. mean, you're really like you have to come to terms with I could meet God soon, right? So that got me to a place where I was very afraid of death. I'm actually not very afraid of death anymore. I think there's a curiosity, right? But I'm definitely not like I don't want to die. Like I'm like, OK, I get it. Like we're all going to die.

was very afraid of death. I'm actually not very afraid of death anymore. I think there's a curiosity, right? But I'm definitely not like, I don't want to die. Like, I'm like, OK, I get it. Like, we're all going to die. But what you said, it's really interesting because I think there's been moments of that for me with people. I'm not going to say it's been predominant, the predominant response I've gotten from Catholics and Christians in my life. But I would say that there's been a couple of times where

Diana Salcido (: 01:37:33

you said, it's really interesting because I think there's been moments of that for me with people. I'm not going to say it's been predominant, the predominant response I've gotten from Catholics and Christians in my life, but I would say that there's been a couple times where I've heard that. I can think of one thing that's been said to me and it was, you're going to be fine. You know you are. God has this, so you don't need to worry. It is so dismissive because

I've heard that. I can think of one thing that's been said to me, and it was, you're going to be fine. You know you are. God has this, so you don't need to worry. It is so dismissive, because that's, mean, again, this is a life or a death issue. And so I think that when it comes down to it, I always think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He sweat blood. That's how nervous he was. He was praying, Father, please take this from me.

Because that's, mean, again, this is a life or a death issue. And so I think that when it comes down to it, like I always think of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, he sweat blood. That's how nervous he was. He was praying, like, Father, please take this from me, but your will be done. He was human. He was fully human. He did not want to do this. He was sweating. His capillaries were breaking. He knew what was coming. And it's like that scared him. It is OK to be afraid.

will be done. He was human. He was fully human. He did not want to do this. He was sweating. His capillaries were breaking. He knew what was coming. And it's like that scared him. It is OK to be afraid. Now, when fear gets to the point where you're going to stop living your life, that's where you have to step back and be like, he doesn't want it to disable you. It's like we can acknowledge our fear, feel the fear, say all the things. And I know that we've worked in session where I've had to say some of my biggest fears out loud.

Now, when fear gets to the point where you're going to stop living your life, that's where you have to step back and be like, he doesn't want it to disable you. It's like we can acknowledge our fear, feel the fear, say all the things. And I know that we've worked in session where I've had to say some of my biggest fears out loud. And they're in there. And so I just encourage people, you are not a bad Christian if you acknowledge that you have fear. You are not saying you don't trust God. mean, Jesus had fear, and he trusted his

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:38:50

And they're in there. And so I just encourage people, you are not a bad Christian if you acknowledge that you have fear. You are not saying you don't trust God. mean, Jesus had fear, and he trusted his father to the utmost. And so I just feel like that is, I don't even know where that statement would come from. And one thing that I saw recently online, and this is something that I'm now doing with my son, was there was this pastor, and he brought his daughter up on the stage.

is bother to the utmost. And so I just feel like that is, I don't even know where that statement would come from. And one thing that I saw recently online, and this is something that I'm now doing with my son, was there was this pastor, and he brought his daughter up on the stage. And he just held her in this embrace. And he said, if you don't feel how my daughter feels right now when you are praying to God, you're missing it. And that really resonated with me because I'm

held her like in this embrace and he said, if you don't feel how my daughter feels right now when you are praying to God, you're missing it. And that really resonated with me because I'm like, you should feel so safe when you're talking to God, your father, that you are just brought to a place of peace. That's what he gives us in our moments of fear. He didn't say don't be fearful. He says, come to me, give it to me so that I can give you my peace.

You should feel so safe when you're talking to God, your Father, that you are just brought to a place of peace. That's what he gives us in our moments of fear. He didn't say, don't be fearful. He says, come to me, give it to me, so that I can give you my peace. Because there has to be something supernatural to take over this natural fear. But he's not saying fear is a sin, because fear is not a sin. He's saying, I have what you need.

there has to be something supernatural to take over this natural fear. But he's not saying fear is a sin, because fear is not a sin. He's saying, I have what you need. And when you are feeling powerless, I have the power. So that has always been my point of view through my journey. It's like, no, but I have never felt like a bad Christian for thinking, wow, I'm not trusting him. If anything, I probably need to go to him more, because my fear is getting bigger right now. So to me, that's also another six

Diana Salcido (: 01:40:02

feeling powerless, I have the power. So that has always been my point of view through my journey. It's like, no, but I have never felt like a bad Christian for thinking, wow, I'm not trusting him. If anything, it's I probably need to go to him more because my fear is getting bigger right now. So to me, that's also another signal to me that it's like, OK, I got to go pray. I got to go to mass more, whatever it might be, because I don't feel like I'm in that loving embrace of the Father knowing he has all of this.

to me that it's like, OK, I got to go pray. I got to go to mass more, whatever it might be, because I don't feel like I'm in that loving embrace of the Father knowing He has all of this. So that would be my response to it, which is there's nothing. That is not sinful on any level. anything, it's His job to give us what we need. It's not our job to pretend that we can't feel these things in order to be accepted by Him. I think that's very distorted. Yeah.

But that would be my response to it, which is there's nothing. That is not sinful on any level. If anything, it's his job to give us what we need. It's not our job to pretend that we can't feel these things in order to be accepted by him. I think that's very distorted. Yeah. I mean, think what I say sometimes is,

I mean, I think what I say sometimes is...

I think God wants authenticity. He wants an authentic relationship with us. And that's kind of the whole point of Jesus coming down is he said, like, I know you're going to have fears and anger and grief. it's not, have that. It's when you have it, bring it to me. That's right. Yes. And to that end, a of a tangent along with that is sometimes what I see is the spiritual spirituality as emotional bypass or even prayer as emotional bypass of

Diana Salcido (: 01:40:52

I think God wants authenticity. He wants an authentic relationship with us. And that's kind of the whole point of Jesus coming down is he said, like, I know you're going to have fears and anger and grief. And it's not don't have that. It's when you have it, bring it to me. That's right. Yeah. And to that end, a of a tangent along with that is sometimes what I see is the spiritual spirituality as emotional bypass or even prayer as emotional bypass of

I'm actually not, I'm not facing it on a human level in this body. As soon as I feel discomfort, I go immediately to prayer. And not that that is inherently right or wrong, but just what I see, having been in practice for five years now is we need both. There's a time to surrender and go, I can't sit with this anymore. It's too much for me. I give it to you, God.

And there's a time to sit face to face with your practitioner and go, I am really scared. I'm going into this surgery and I don't know if I'm going to come out of it. And I need to face that. Definitely. Yeah, no, I think that like just.

Diana Salcido (: 01:42:03

Again, kind of like stepping back and looking at this whole thing and the bigger purpose of it all. This is our time to surrender. I feel, and I'm speaking for me, but I feel like one of the reasons that I got cancer was because I'm a total control freak. I love control. When things don't go the way that I want them to go, I don't like it. And so I want everything to go my way. And that's how I feel safe. Because I didn't trust people growing up, and I didn't feel safe

Again, of like stepping back and looking at like this whole thing in like the bigger purpose of it all. Like this is our time to surrender. I feel and I'm speaking for me, but I feel like one of the reasons that I got cancer was because I'm a total control freak. Like I love control when things don't go the way that I want them to go. I don't like it. And so I want everything to go my way. And that's how I feel safe, because I didn't trust people growing up and I didn't feel safe

growing up, I created a world in which I created my own safety. And I didn't always do that in healthy ways, but at least my unhealthy ways were predictable, and I knew what would come. And so this just flipped my life upside down to, like I said, a place where I couldn't go to any of those comforts, anything that felt good or normal or whatever. And so I feel like by going the whole spiritual bypassing, feel like that kind of couples with toxic posses.

growing up. So I created a world in which I created my own safety. And I didn't always do that in healthy ways. But at least my unhealthy ways were predictable, and I knew what would come. And so this just flipped my life upside down to, like I said, a place where I couldn't go to any of those comforts, anything that felt good or normal or whatever. And so I feel like by going the whole spiritual bypassing, feel like that kind of couples with toxic posset

positivity, where it's like, if you just focus on good, then the good will come. OK. I just feel like that's a recipe for disaster. I feel like there has to be a balance. Health is balance. I feel like being super depressed or super angry or super sad is just as detrimental as being super happy and positive all the time. Any extreme is going to be unhealthy. And so finding that balance, like you said, where it's like, I am feeling really overwhelmed right now.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:43:03

positivity, where it's like, if you just focus on good, then the good will come. OK. I just feel like that's a recipe for disaster. I feel like there has to be a balance. Health is balance. it's like, I feel like being super depressed or super angry or super sad is just as detrimental as being super happy and positive all the time. Any extreme is going to be unhealthy. And so finding that balance, like you said, where it's like, I am feeling really overwhelmed right now.

like, what if I die? Like, what if this comes back somewhere else and it's stage four and that's it? You know, like, those are very real thoughts. And to say that those don't exist or that you don't have faith in God because that's a real human thought is wrong. But also, like, going to the flip side of that and saying, like, even if it happens, I'm going to be totally fine. I feel like that can be detrimental, too. And so I feel like no matter what it is, being able to sit with it and

What if I die like what if this comes back somewhere else and it's stage four and that's it? You know like those are very real thoughts and to say that those don't exist or that you don't have faith in God because that's a real human thought is wrong But also like going to the flip side of that and saying like even if it happens I'm gonna be totally fine I feel like that can be detrimental too and so I feel like No matter what it is being able to sit with it and and learn to be okay with that. That's where the health is gonna come

And learn to be OK with that. That's where the health is going to come. so you really do. Yeah, like being either too positive or too negative, neither one of those is going to serve you. that's why I will say when it comes to meeting with practitioners, I have never asked for statistics or timelines or anything, because those are based on groups of people. And my outlook has always been, God knows the exact moment I'm going to die. This doctor does not. And so I don't want to know statistics.

And so you really do. like being either too positive or too negative, neither one of those is going to serve you. that's why I will say when it comes to meeting with practitioners, I have never asked for statistics or timelines or anything because those are based on groups of people. And my outlook has always been, God knows the exact moment I'm going to die. This doctor does not. And so I don't want to know statistics because I think words are so powerful that as soon as

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:44:29

Because I think words are so powerful that as soon as somebody says like, yeah, you probably got like a year or this will be back in two years or whatever it is, I actually think those words are so powerful that those kind of take them in. Right? So I think that, again, it's kind of like having to go inside, listen to yourself, not be too like reality is in the middle. Right. And so I think that you really, yeah, not being too of anything, not

somebody says, like, yeah, you probably got like a year, or this will be back in two years, or whatever it is. I actually think those words are so powerful that those kind of take them in, right? So I think that, again, it's kind of like having to go inside, listen to yourself, not be too like reality is in the middle, right? And so I think that you really, yeah, not being too of anything, not going into the extremes on either side. However, I will say if you dip into the

going into the extremes on either side. However, I will say if you dip into the extremes of fear or whatever, that's where this work comes in. You have to have somebody who can hold space for you. It is so important because if you feel alone, it is very easy to go into very dark places. And I feel like that's when you can just start spiraling. I mean, that is so important because to empathize with the loved ones of someone experiencing cancer, it's not like they received a training on,

the extremes of fear or whatever, that's where this work comes in. You have to have somebody who can hold space for you. It is so important because if you feel alone, it is very easy to go into very dark places. And I feel like that's when you can just start spiraling. I mean, that is so important because to empathize with the loved ones of someone experiencing cancer, it's not like they received a training on, hey, here's how to really support your loved one who's going through cancer.

here's how to really support your loved one who's going through cancer. It can be just as devastating and traumatic for the loved ones. Definitely. And so it's fair to go.

Diana Salcido (: 01:45:33

It can be just as devastating and traumatic for the loved ones. And so it's fair to go. I need some support from them. And also, they may not be the ones I take the deepest fears to, the deepest grief to, the deepest rage to. I have that practitioner who holds that space, who can show up in exactly the way I need. And I'm, in some ways, not putting that pressure on my family or loved ones to have exactly the right response in all these moments. Yeah. No, I think so.

I need some support from them. also, they may not be the ones I take the deepest fears to, the deepest grief to, the deepest rage to. I have that practitioner who holds that space who can show up in exactly the way I need. And I'm, in some ways, not putting that pressure on my family or loved ones to have exactly the right response in all these moments. Yeah. No, I think so. Because I feel like people who know you personally, too, can be biased. And so even things they say, it can just link.

because I feel like people who know you personally too can be biased. And so even things they say, it can just land wrong. Even if they don't mean anything by it, it can land differently. Whereas when you work with somebody who really has no skin in the game, it's like they can. They can just hold space for you to feel it all. And I feel like when you talk to people you know, they're more apt to chat, right? And say, well, have you thought about this? I don't want to think anymore. I actually just want to feel and be, right? It's like no more talking.

wrong, know, like even if they don't mean anything by it, it can land differently. Whereas when you work with somebody who really has no skin in the game, it's like they can, they could just hold space for you to feel it all. And I feel like when you talk to people you know, they're more apt to chat, right? And say, well, have you thought about this? I don't want to think anymore. I actually just want to feel and be, right? It's like, more talking. And a little bit of, know, who can also kind of go, like we've had a number of these moments of, know, I hear this anger and I actually

a little bit of who can also kind of go, we've had a number of these moments of, hear this anger, and I actually think there's grief beneath it we need to spend time with. Exactly. You have pointed stuff out to me, because I'm clinically trained. And so you have pointed stuff out to me that I have never even thought of before. as a clinician, I'm sitting here, I'm like, I can give a PowerPoint on my life and why I did this, why I did that. No, I couldn't anymore. Because you'll point things out where I'm like, I never even thought about that, and that makes so much sense.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:46:40

actually think there's grief beneath it we need to spend time with. Exactly. You have pointed stuff out to me, because I'm clinically trained. And so you have pointed stuff out to me that I have never even thought of before. as a clinician, I'm sitting here, I'm like, I can give a PowerPoint on my life and why I did this, why I did that. No, I couldn't anymore. Because you'll point things out where I'm like, I never even thought about that. And that makes so much sense to me. And then I get to go in and work on that inside. And I just want to point out the work that you do with people.

to me and then I get to go in and work on that inside. And I just want to point out the work that you do with people through Evox, we don't just sit around and talk. mean, there is a time and a place for that. But the work that we do is much more internal. You give me time to go inside and actually imagine things and work with younger parts of myself and heal things that maybe haven't seen the light of day for 20, 30 years, whatever it might be.

through eBox, like you, we don't just sit around and talk. I mean, there are, there is a time and a place for that, but the work that we do is much more internal. Like we, you give me time to go inside and actually like imagine things and work with younger parts of myself and, and heal things that maybe haven't seen the light of day for 20, 30 years, whatever it might be. And so like the work that we do in here is so much more than just talking about the fear. It's like, I get to feel the fear.

And so the work that we do in here is so much more than just talking about the fear. It's like I get to feel the fear. I get to talk to my fear. I get to let my fear let things out. I mean, it's just so powerful what we get to do in here. I mean, really, it releases so much on so many levels. Yeah, that's the coolest thing to hear. OK, last question, because we're running out of time. Anything we didn't cover that you feel is really important that we work in other

I get to talk to my fear. I get to let my fear let things out. I mean, it's just like it's so powerful what we get to do in here. I mean, really, like it releases so much on so many levels. Yeah, that's the coolest thing to hear. OK, last question, because we're running out of time.

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:47:57

Anything we didn't cover that you feel is really important that we work in, just closing words, advice, words of encouragement to anyone who might be going through cancer. Yeah. OK. Well, I mean, I will say, as scary and as daunting as this journey has been, I could do a whole other segment with you on all the cool things that have happened. And really, I call them miracles because I think that in our society, we are so trained to see all the negative things. I remember hearing

wise, just closing words, advice, words of encouragement to anyone who might be going through cancer. Yeah. OK. Well, I mean, I will say, as scary and as daunting as this journey has been, I could do a whole other segment with you on all the cool things that have happened. And really, I call them miracles, because I think that in our society, we are so trained to see all the negative things. I remember hearing about, like, there was a room full of therapists one time, and four statements were put up on this

about like there was a room full of therapists one time and four statements were put up on this board and they asked all the therapists in the room like what do you notice about these statements and they all of them like collectively said three of them are false and the guy who's giving the lecture said notice not one person said one of them is true like we are so noted like we're so groomed to like focus on the negative and like see the things that are going wrong that we miss the things that are going right and so that is something that i think i was so prone to

board, and they asked all the therapists in the room, like, what do you notice about these statements? And all of them collectively said, three of them are false. And the guy who's giving the lecture said, notice not one person said one of them is true. We are so noted, we're so groomed to focus on the negative and see the things that are going wrong, that we miss the things that are going right. And so that is something that I think I was so prone to in my own life, is looking at the negative. And just like, gosh.

in my own life is like looking at the negative, you know, and just like, gosh, like, how is this ever going to happen? And just feeling like life was daunting. And so I think that throughout this journey, one thing I've had to do for myself is actually look for the positives, because I don't think that I was ever trained to do that or that my life ever really facilitated focusing on the good things or like the positives, the things that were going right. And so I will say that like there have been so many amazing, miraculous moments

Diana Salcido (: 01:49:02

how is this ever going to happen? And just feeling like life was daunting. And so I think that throughout this journey, one thing I've had to do for myself is actually look for the positives, because I don't think that I was ever trained to do that or that my life ever really facilitated focusing on the good things or like the positives, the things that were going right. And so I will say that like there have been so many amazing, miraculous moments where I know for a fact that I am being taken care of that like God

where I know for a fact that I am being taken care of, that God was providing for me in that moment. I've had amazing dreams where I've gotten confirmation about certain decisions that I've made in my life. Where I mean, I woke up and I'm like, I know that was God. just, mean, I feel like it's getting to be less work for me to even see those things at this point. And so I would say that for anybody going through this, it is so easy to focus on the bad.

was providing for me in that moment. I've had amazing dreams where I've gotten confirmation about certain decisions that I've made in my life where I woke up and I'm like, I know that was God. I feel like it's getting to be less work for me to even see those things at this point. And so I would say that for anybody going through this, it is so easy to focus on the bad because there's a lot of heavy stuff that we need to look at and decisions we need to make.

Because there's a lot of heavy stuff that we need to look at and decisions we need to make. And like I said, you're faced with your mortality, and it doesn't get any more real than that. But I think that if you can take the time to step back and look at, and really just say, that was a godsend that I met that person. Or I know that that was meant for me, even a song coming on, whatever it might be. I mean, really just noticing those moments where you can feel that you know that you're

Like I said, you're faced with your mortality, and it doesn't get any more real than that. But I think that if you can take the time to step back and look at, and really just say, that was a godsend that I met that person, or I know that that was meant for me, even a song coming on, whatever it might be. I mean, really just noticing those moments where you can feel that you know that you're being taken care of. So I would love to share all those moments, because I

Leigh Ann Lindsey (: 01:50:27

being taken care of. I would love to share all those moments, because I have so many that are just so cool. Like I was saying before, we all kind of fall in the same way. Like when you get diagnosed with cancer, it's like we all kind of get cancer, whatever the reasons may be. But the way that our journey goes and the healing that happens and the people that come into our life because of it and just the things that we learn about ourselves or how we grow, that's where the story is. That's where life just gets really cool.

I have so many that are just so cool. Like I was saying before, we all kind of fall in the same way. Like when you get diagnosed with cancer, it's like we all kind of get cancer, whatever the reasons may be. But the way that our journey goes and the healing that happens and the people that come into our life because of it and just the things that we learn about ourselves or how we grow, that's where the story is. That's where life just gets really cool, where we get to see I am unique and I am individual.

where we get to see, like, I am unique, and I am individual. And you have to approach your cancer like that, too. Everything you do, you're going to have your own story. And so just be open to whatever that might look like and might be. But it's going to be your own individual journey. Yeah, I love it. mean, like we said, we could do a 10-part series on this. Yeah. So we'll see. If the audience, maybe a Q &A could be fun sometime in the future or something. thank you so much. Thank you. For being so open and vulnerable and just being able to

You have to approach your cancer like that, too. Everything you do, you're going to have your own story. And so just be open to whatever that might look like and might be. But it's going to be your own individual journey. Yeah, I love it. mean, like we said, we could do a 10-part series on this. Yeah. So we'll see. If the audience, maybe a Q &A could be fun sometime in the future or something. But thank you so much. Thank you. For being so open and vulnerable and just being able to share all these different parts of the story. I know they're going to be so uplifting for so many people.

share all these different parts of the story. know they're gonna be so uplifting for so many people. No, it was awesome. I loved it. And like I said, we can put some of the information, like things that I've used in your show notes so that people know where they can go for things too. Yeah, 100%. Awesome. Yay.

Diana Salcido (: 01:51:32

was awesome. I loved it. And like I said, we can put some of the information, like things that I've used in your show notes so that people know where they can go for things too. Yeah, 100%. Awesome. Yay.

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