Jood Lanette isn’t just an author, there a survivor of reinvention. Raised in a world that demanded conformity, Jood walked away from religion. Rediscovered there identity as a queer creative, and learned to live by there own rhythm. There writing, including The Timeless Pendant, carries the echoes of that journey. A fusion of pain, hope, and self-acceptance.

We get into the messiness of life, family, faith, queerness, and mental health. The hard truth about starting over. Jood speaks about learning to accept help. Embracing imperfection, and building a life that finally feels thier own. It’s not sanitized or sugar-coated, just raw honesty from someone who’s done the work. To reclaim themselves as an artist.

Where to Find Jood Lanette?

🌐 Website: https://www.amazon.com/Timeless-Pendant-Book-1/dp/B0FTZZDBM8/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&sr=1-3&text=Jood+Lannette

📚 Work: The Timeless Pendant (Book Series)

📲 Social: @jood_barnett

It's never worked.

Jood: Yeah, it does not work at all. And that's the issue. The more someone tries to fit in and to conform, the harder it gets for them and the more struggles they face. Everyone needs to find their own way and to be okay with it, to accept that this is who I am, this is how my life is, and everyone else, they could either take it or leave it and it's been hard.

Dave: Being able to, being able to see that you are value, that you know you're not broken. think it's the most

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: and it's okay to be different. You know, I, I, I think that what we forget is some of the most brilliant minds that have existed on this earth are some of the

Jood: Yeah. Einstein.

Dave: right?

Jood: It's not. It's not. I mean, Albert Einstein was different. Steve Jobs from Apple is different. Bill Gates is, but look at these people. Look at what they created. If you are okay with who you are, then you could be amazing. If you're different, who has to decide? You know, normal is a setting on the washing machine.

Yeah.

Dave: just, I, we, I say this before, but it's true just like normal is the setting on a washing machine. So is this a notion of an idea of like, because something is set and set, like being cold, right? It's not actually cold. It's still warm water.

Jood: Mm-hmm. Yeah,

Jood: yeah. I was talking to my sister and she's like, I wish we could be like, I don't know what it is, France, where they have a lunch break and everyone takes a nap. Yeah.

Dave: It doesn't fix the problem though, you know?

Dave: Not your weaknesses. And I,

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: I think that, I think that really hits the nail on the coffin, right? Because if you, if you conform and you think that that's the only to monetary gain, you know, be able to have financial stability, there are

Jood: I.

Dave: ways of still being you and still doing the things that you love and still give yourself that opportunity, you know, I've been able to do it. I know that you've been working towards that. I know that.

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: It doesn't happen overnight, obviously, but to think that that's your only option, it's like, oh, I'm gonna do something just so I can make money off of this. I really want, you wanna spend your life with, you know.

Yeah, it's like. If that's my hours, my partner might not love me sitting on the computer at 1:00 AM when they wanna go to sleep, but that's what works.

Dave: No, and it honestly, it's, it's so true. I mean, I can speak even for myself, and I've told you this before me, spending 10 hours a day working on cars, know, even if it means that I gotta deal with a system that takes like 30 minutes just to load this stupid thing, I, I enjoy doing that stuff, stuff.

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: it's understanding that we are humans and we still have emotions, and we have feelings, and we have drive. You know, if we take those things away from us, we're no different than the machines that we make.

Jood: Yeah. Gotta do what you enjoy.

Dave: Yeah.

Jood: You know? Yeah. I would love, in a sense, to have a nine to five job, but I think that's because that's what society embeds in you.

Dave: yes.

Jood: Yeah. And if you wanna sit dealing with a car for 10 hours.

Dave: I love that stuff. No, and that's why like I put myself towards that. And the same way you put yourself towards your own pursuits is because

Jood: Mm-hmm.

You, you have to build

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: up to get to success. And you know what I learned? I, I don't know if I told you this. You know what I learned? It turns out like BMW hires a lot of people with learning disabilities. My instructor is dyslexic and he's a master technician for 20 years that worked for BMW I'm like. that to me is, is proof in, in itself, right? Where you've been able to find those things. I literally found a brand that freaking hires people that have their brain wired differently. You know, there's no excuse. You can't just use excuse. Well, I'm not capable. Oh, I can't, you mean you're not

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: What do you mean you can't?

Dave: Yeah,

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: and I, I,

Jood: you could do it.

Dave: you know what again, like limitation is within your own, within your own, right. You know, every single person comes with their own. own obstacles. You know, there, there are things that they have difficulty, and I think also, if you wanna touch on this, we can, when you're raising an environment, even sometimes even with your own family or peers, where there's no validation to how you're feeling, that it has an effect on you.

Dave: They've come around though, which I think is, I've had the same thing with my mom too. You know, we're, regardless of everything, you, you still have somebody that you can turn to, to a certain degree. That finally comes to the realization like, okay, this is who you are. And that's okay

Jood: my parents. My parents, I love them. They are, they try their hardest. I know it's not easy for them to have a queer child. I know my mother tries her hardest with the pronouns, and that's really sweet. And I mean, some of my siblings, unfortunately, I don't have a relationship with them right now. Maybe I will one day.

I'd love that. But in order to have that, they gotta accept me and they gotta accept my partner.

Dave: because

Jood: And it hurts.

Jood: I.

Dave: of a one-way situation, it, it's like. If you respect, and I say this all the time, if you respect me, I will respect you. We don't have to think the same, we don't have to have the same ideas going on in our heads. If we can have at least that middle ground right there, that is fine. You know, like.

With her lifestyle, but also acknowledges that they try their hardest to accept her.

Dave: Um, you've written though, um, you have your second book, which I think by the time this recording

Jood: Yes.

Dave: already out. uh,

Jood: Hopefully

Dave: I put a little help in there. I help with the pod, the, the book cover.

It's okay. I'll take the help. This is the first book over here. It's out already. Me and Shane made the cover.

Dave: Secret of pride month for anybody?

Jood: Yes. And you helped with the back.

Dave: I did.

Jood: Thank you for fixing it.

Dave: welcome. I mean,

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: I see that is something also that's important. We're, as an artist being able to collaborate and being able to have. system around you. not a crutch. It's being able to understand that we're all in this kind of event together. the sense we're we all wanna pursue things that are, we are passionate about.

We're

Jood: Definitely

Dave: doesn't

Jood: you have to find your strengths. I remember when I was 10 years old, I wrote my first poem and I will always remember it was about names. I know I remember like a line of it maybe, but you gotta find what works for you and tap into it, you know? Um, Shane's niece, um, I recently helped her figure out what she's good at.

Help. It's not easy.

Dave: No, it's not. And it, the truth is, it's, it's hard when you go through traumas and you struggle a lot. And I've had this, and I know you've had this too, where you have people that you

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: very close with and then just the blink of the eye, they either ghost you, they never talk to you again. You get into a massive fight and you just sit there and you contemplate like, should I have opened myself up that much?

Jood: Yes,

Dave: me as as an individual and not here to like crush you like a fucking buck.

Jood: I lost a lot of people becoming secular.

Dave: I know,

Jood: I lost a lot of friends even when I was secular and I made friendships. The more you work on yourself and grow, the more you find that you wanna be around a different crowd of people. Yeah.

Jood: Yes.

Dave: it's a real thing, you know? The problem is when you have so many people that are telling you that you don't have any of these things and then people are actually telling you, you do, you're like, am I supposed to believe?

Like, am I supposed to turn?

Jood: Yeah.

You gotta find your people and what works for you and be okay with distancing yourself from other people. That's life.

Jood: Yes.

Dave: And I got to a point where I said, enough is enough. Like I'm doing enough as it is for myself I don't need somebody else dragging me down along with them.

Jood: That is very hard though because telling, distancing yourself from those people. But it's important because you can't be with people that bring you down.

Dave: No,

Jood: But it's not easy. And I remember the difficulty I faced when I left, when I lost two good friends because I became secular and they didn't wanna be friends with me anymore.

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: personality, your actual individuality, like all of those things combined because. What makes you, what makes you Jude more than anything else is the fact that you're just Jude.

Like regardless of everything else that comes with it, like your sexuality has nothing to do with it. That's something that's personal to yourself. Your faith, that's personal. That's not something that belongs to everybody else to carry there, there for you and in fact that that's all that means to a relationship. Ah, damn. Very like do you even respect other people besides yourself? what I mean? Like, just

Dave: they don't

Jood: They're just enmeshed with it.

Dave: they don't want to.

Jood: No, maybe they want to, but they don't know how. It doesn't have, sadly, some people are consumed with religion that that's all life is to them instead of differentiating.

I am a religious person, and at the same time, I'm an individual with my own wants, needs and desires

because I've seen different kinds of religious people, and I've seen people that actually see there's more to life than just praying all day.

Dave: I dunno.

Dave: Yeah, because there are people,

Jood: by the way, hang on, I meant a sword, not a double-edged sword.

Dave: Well, a sword is double-edged. Some sorts, not all sorts are double-edged, but that Thank you for

Jood: Some are,

Dave: Yeah.

Jood: yeah. But the just of what I'm saying is being that religion could be a sword.

Dave: Now it can be, and the truth is when it comes to is you can have some really incredible people that come out of it. know? However, the, the thing that needs to be understood is, is the fact that there are different levels of the sense. We are. If you

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: a cult environment you create a secluded or segregated environment, and that could be that can be Jewish, that can be Christian, it could be all sorts of faiths.

Jood: Yeah,

When it happens, but right now I'm conscious. So are you. So guess what wanna figure out and enjoy of the best 65 years that I can come up with. I don't have to be, have a perfect 65. Do you need to have a perfect 65 years? No, I don't think

Jood: we just wanna enjoy life.

Dave: it.

Jood: We wanna find a way, both of us having left religion. Both of us being queer, we wanna find a life that works for us. A way to live life to its utmost.

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: I brought this up because I broke up with somebody last year, and this notion of using fighting as an excuse to break up with somebody, I think is the most stupidest thing that you can come up with.

Jood: Yeah. That's ironic because people fight all the time in relationships.

Dave: We

Jood: we did. We did. We did. And it sucked. But me and Shane will bicker. We'll have disagreements, we'll fight. But that's how it is. The end of the day. You gotta work on yourself. Smooth out your differences and figure things out. You also gotta live life and enjoy it,

Dave: Yeah.

Jood: which isn't easy to do necessarily, but it's important.

Jood: depends.

Dave: It depends, but I think at the,

Jood: It really does depend.

Dave: but to use it as a constant tool. Constant tool or using it as a weapon. 'cause there's a difference, right?

Jood: I get that.

Dave: See what I mean?

Jood: Yeah, it's true. If you can make it work. If you could figure it out. I mean, at one point in my life though, I literally had no money and I was living literally from, I was getting social security. I was living from check, to check to check, but I did find ways to enjoy myself amidst it all.

Dave: Yeah.

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: And you, you are the one of the ones that opened my mind to this, which is where a lot of the times you can be able to do things that are fulfilling. necessarily like financially draining on your life.

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: You know,

Jood: for sure.

Dave: that means like hanging out on a beach, you know, or maybe hanging out at a park and just like I, whatever that may be,

Jood: Yeah.

Jood: Yeah. You gotta find, you gotta find the small moments in life.

Dave: yeah, because I don't know about you, but sometimes you plan a whole week and then that week comes and none of the things you just planned seems to go away. You know, there's either a train that's delayed or somebody's not feeling well, yeah. You wake up too late or, I mean, it's just life. You know? Life is just imperfect.

Jood: Life is messy. Yeah. But you live with the chaos, you live with the messiness you live with, whatever it is, negative self-talk or whatnot, and you work it out.

Dave: I think it also, you bring up a really good point. It is okay to be realistic with yourself, and that means being

Dave: like you could be pessimistic and the other one? Pessimistic and optimistic. My brain just had a brain fart and I think it's okay. Like you don't always have to have, everything is like sunshines and rabies rainbows and like I just said, rabies sunshines and, and rainbows

Jood: Got that.

Dave: and like living in Barbie land, like it's okay sometimes to think those negative, like what are we gonna do?

You know? Like,

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: are we gonna make this work? That's okay. alright. You don't

Jood: And that's it. That's just your brain trying to protect you.

Dave: how many times,

Jood: a sense.

Dave: many times have you heard a person say, just have faith in em and everything will be okay.

Jood: Eve too many times

Dave: what I

Dave: Yeah.

Jood: Do the self work. You walk 45 minutes in the wrong direction trying to get a tattoo. Well find a different place.

Dave: No. Okay. First off, I'll wait. Like we joke about this all the time, but the truth is when I came out there, just to be able to like walk around is just,

Jood: It was nice.

Dave: it's nice. And like, even though we made a mistake of going to the wrong place, had fun with it. You know, like we walked back

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: Hey, let's just go some comedy.

And I'm like, let's go

Dave: Being able to understand, and I, I literally had to have an instructor explain this to me. Failure does not mean that you're failing. Instead

Jood: No.

Dave: at it as failure, look at it as you made a mistake. You made a mistake. Mistake. All right. Don't make the same mistake twice.

Sometimes you do make

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: mistake twice, just two different ways. that you did two different ways, don't let that hold you back. You know, don't use that as a reason why you don't wanna stand up. Because

Jood: Yeah, it's true. How many times have you made a mistake? How many times have I fucked up? Shit, it's more than once or twice, let me tell you.

Dave: Jude, a lot of times

Jood: Yes. Not just with the tattoos.

Dave: was a lot of times

Jood: Oh boy.

Dave: it was a lot,

Dave: but

Jood: the point is life is a series of ups and downs. How many times have therapists told me life is like a wave? Emotions are like a wave. They come and go, but it's ultimately true. There are ups and downs,

Dave: There are.

Jood: and that's life. You know, my mom was telling me the other day. So what happens if you get all depressed again, Jude, you gotta remember, if that happens, it will happen in life.

Maybe you'll work through it. It's true because we could all have major setbacks, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep going because as you said, we have 90 years to live. And so with 10 of the years fucked up and if maybe you'll have another, another rough patch. Let's hope not 10 years, never again.

Dave: Yeah, you can't. I'm gonna put this in the nicest way I possibly can, but it probably won't come out that way. You can blame all of your traumas and all of your difficulties and your sexuality as an excuse of, you know what? Nobody owes you, doesn't owe you a damn, okay? Nobody owes you anything. You owe your, you owe yourself that, okay? If that's

Jood: No, it's true.

Dave: own up to it. And if somebody insults you or is not listening to what you're saying, well, guess what? There's how many people on this planet. There's like 8 billion people.

Jood: Yeah,

Jood: it's true. You play the blame game. It gets right back at you. You know, you really, people cannot just blame everyone around them. I get it. I blamed people for a long time, but what did it get me? Where did it get me? Nowhere we are, but places I didn't wanna go

Dave: Yeah. And our brains are already full of schmutts that I, I don't wanna start cleaning. Like I've dealt with a lot of grease with cars. Boy, that grease inside there, Uhuh. No, it's too

Jood: grease with cow

Dave: Oh,

Jood: grease with dishes. Get away from all that. Ugh.

Dave: dead fish. Ugh. No.

Jood: Oh boy.

Dave: that's the

Jood: Why you do it?

Dave: Oh, that's the worst. There's grease. That

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: dead fish.

Jude. Yeah.

Dave: well, I don't want to, unfortunately, it's stuck in my brain too. stuck in a lie. But

Jood: at the end of the day, you get rid of that grease.

Dave: you

Jood: You work through for doing that metaphor. You work through all the schmutts, all the emotions, all the self-blame, all the self hate, and you just build a life that you're proud of. I worked through so much and today I have a pretty good life. I will have my moments that I'm like, I wanna run to the hills.

I'll have two crying cats following me when I'm waking up to give them food and they're just meowing nonstop.

Dave: they love you.

Jood: I'll have a partner that's demanding and annoying. Bring me ice cream. Kay. I love them, but you get what I'm saying,

Dave: make the

Jood: it's worth it.

Dave: problem.

And B, it ain't gonna be perfect, but it's gonna be way better and fulfilling and worth it.

Dave: because you worked towards something that actually gave you value instead of something that took away

Jood: Yes.

Dave: Like when? When people ask me why did I leave and why do I live the life that I live now, I didn't leave. Now that I think now I didn't leave because I was angry at other people. I left because I was angry at myself. I said to myself that I deserve better than this. know that

Jood: Oh yeah.

So what? There's a day of rest. Guess what? Sometimes I can't have a day of rest, and that's okay. That's all right. You gotta be able to realize what are you comfortable with? What can you do for yourself to better yourself? Because guess what, and we both know this as being part of the whole community, the whole queer community, the whole, the whole shebang is being vulnerable, being comfortable in your own skin.

My God, like we live in a generation today is just like. Dicks and vaginas and whatever you could buy on Adam and eve.com, you know, it's like, where's the real connection? Where's the real relationship? Where's where is it?

Other people could have that life, but I don't want that. Yeah, you're right. No excuses. Now,

Dave: No.

Jood: I'm not in prison where I could say, Hey, today is heyday. It's when everyone raises the hay and praise to God, you know, trying to get out of something.

Dave: Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's also being able to understand what you're capable of as well. know,

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: being able to even like speak personally, even for yourself, where you've been able to realize all of the things that you are capable of having. Which, if I'm not mistaken, for a while, you didn't believe that you were capable of having,

Jood: Yeah. Yes. Not denying that I didn't, I always wanted to publish a book, didn't think I could ever do it.

Dave: it.

Jood: And then, hey, this is published. I have another one coming out. I'm gonna probably request a proof just to show it to, I'm kidding.

Dave: You should get

Jood: But

Dave: I don't know what's with Amazon and their printing, but we, me and Jude, like, I don't, we've seen it. It's weird,

Jood: It is not formal. Formulated properly.

Dave: but

Jood: properly, but it's true. But at the end of the day, yeah,

Jood: I did.

Dave: You've accomplished a

Jood: I did.

Dave: you know what? You, you have, you've accomplished a lot. And it, it just didn't come to blind Faith. It was just throwing out the ball and it's like, all right, God, catch it now, throw it back to me.

Jood: No, I put in the work, but yeah, I didn't believe in myself for a long time about lots of stuff. I wonder what my twenties would've been like if I would have believed in myself if I wouldn't have gone down a dark path. But you know what, and I've been speaking a lot about this on TikTok lives checkout, religious revolutionaries, rescue knickknacks, but I've been talking about it.

Dave: Yeah, I. I think we both, uh, I think we, we've, we've talked about this before, but being able to be aware of what you're going through and understanding that like it's not okay to be in that amount of pain. Like I've, we, we've talked about this. I had, when my dad passed away in 2020, I went back to New York. I was living in LA so I mo went back to New York to take care of my mom and while I was putting my dad in the ground, okay, my phone was buzzing from text messages. And when I went back to the car after we were finished, my roommate in LA [00:39:00] sends me messages that he wants rent while I'm

Jood: Oh God.

Dave: was asking me for rent. And

Jood: God, I'm sorry.

Dave: this was a guy that was like I was friends with when we were living in Israel. And like I came back and he literally had, we. He was threatening to put my cat in a shelter, throw my stuff out, so I'm not religious, but I would've liked to sit the, you know, the shiva for seven days. Like, you

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: it's part of my culture and couldn't even sit I had to

Jood: Oh,

Dave: back to LA to do. So, being able to go through that right, where I've now understood and have this capability of, we, I can't do roommates. I

Jood: mm-hmm.

Dave: have a roommate, that's not being, you know, an irresponsible adult. That's just me protecting myself.

Dave: Nobody should ever experience that. I'm not,

Jood: No.

Dave: not saying all roommates are like this, but I'm just being honest. Like able to self care for yourself. Right. For same thing with yourself, we're, I know that, you know. Like, there's certain things that you like to have around you. Like to be able to be in your own environment,

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: and with your own stuff. Know what you're comfortable with. You know, if you realize you're only comfortable in certain environments, guess what? Work towards being in those environments.

Jood: Exactly. You have to find what makes you tick what you need. You've gotta focus on your priorities. Exactly. You gotta focus on your strengths. Something we're talking about a lot here. Focus on what you are good at, and as I said, if that's working from home at random hours, do that.

Dave: Yeah, I,

Do that.

Dave: and being able to give yourself opportunities, you know. Um, I know I, I talk a mouthful and you hear this way too much from me, but for me, more than anything that I've realized now is not just about moving again. You know, because I have this thing where I move every three or four years I just hop from place to, I'm like literally a hobo. But I'm realizing now more than anything else is I'm doing this for myself because I can't take care of my family anymore You know, I think my family is well taken care of and they can handle things very much on their own. I need to start focusing on myself because,

Jood: Yeah.

Jood: Yeah, gotta take care of you for once. You don't wanna make my mistakes. You are a priority. You matter, and everyone needs to do that. Something I preach over and over. Look inside. See what makes you tick. Set up those boundaries and work through it and accept help like the book cover, but accept help.

Dave: I think

Jood: Take it.

You do too. And it's just, I sometimes just lose energy and I just want to go to sleep and I just wanna go

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Dave: And think that's perfectly fine.

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: when you have those relationships in your life, when you have those people that you can, you can collaborate with that you surround yourself with that, that just comes naturally. I think that's what you should be able to work towards. It's not always about monetary, it's not always about physical things you can gain from other people. 'cause I promise you, if a relationship is just built around physical things, I don't know how long that's gonna last. I.

Dave: Usually

Jood: at all.

Dave: No,

Jood: Yeah. And you also, as you said, social settings. They suck for me most of the time. You gotta find what you could handle,

Dave: I help you with

Jood: the amount

Dave: Which is interesting.

Jood: you did.

Dave: I, I have been able to help Jew, especially with like social circles because I know the best way to do that is, is just to get you away from the social, social circle. It's just like, Hey, I'm here. Don't have to deal with the fuckers. Like, forget they're even here.

Like we're the only ones that exist in this room. And

Jood: Yep.

Dave: it's not trying to be like your life coach or your therapist or your like mentor.

Jood: It's just being your, being my friend, supporting me.

Dave: under

Dave: It's rare.

Jood: all sorts of settings.

Dave: rare. know, I,

Jood: It is. It is very rare. Took me a long time.

I only got it in my thirties,

Dave: the problem is, is

Jood: Leah.

Dave: the, you know what, yeah. If you want to, I, I just kind of wanted to veer off on this because you, we, we've talked about this immensely of the amount of people that are on social media that push for this agenda with the L-G-B-T-Q community and the queer community and all of this across with and making people feel horrible about, about pronouns or feeling, making people feel

Jood: Oh my

Dave: about the

Jood: God.

Jood: And that's okay. You don't have to be like, hi, my name IShow.

Dave: Ah,

Jood: You get what I'm saying? Like, hi. I mean, you wanna do that. Okay. But

Dave: not me.

Jood: it's like what I was saying, it's like I was saying, yeah, I know I'm a gender. For those who don't know, a gender means you kind of don't really feel like you belong in any gender and you're just a person.

You just are you. But if you go and you say, she said, I ain't gonna slap you in the face. You don't have, I won't love it, but as long as you try to use the correct pronoun, that's all that matters. Just 'cause that's what I identify with.

Dave: Yeah, I,

Jood: But

Dave: I just say, shoot,

Jood: whole,

Jood: But at that's good. But at the end of the day, yeah. I'm not the classic queer person, you know?

Dave: don't

Jood: I'm far from it. Yeah. And that's okay.

Dave: I, it's so

Jood: You know.

Dave: It's so weird when you mention this, because if anybody asks me, how do you describe Jude? I'm like, Jude is Jude. And they're like, what do you mean? Jude is Jude and Jude is Jude. Like, that's what I'm, I think that's something that we're trying to get at over here is where you represent yourself. If that means that you're trapped, attracted to the same bond, biological sex, or you are maybe attracted to the opposite, opposite biological sex, and you may be more feminine or you may be more masculine, who cares?

Dave: And that's just

Jood: nothing wrong with it. You know, I don't have to put on all that eyeliner. I have a wedding. Yeah, I probably will, but I don't have to try to be something I'm not.

Dave: Because you're not,

Jood: The more I try, the more anxiety I get. And anxiety, everyone knows Jude equals anxious mess.

Dave: know

Jood: That is me.

Dave: to calm you down a few times.

Jood: Yeah, that is who I am, but I'm also learning how to just be myself, be okay being my weird self and being okay with it. The more I'm okay with it, the more I'm able to focus on my digital cards, my second book that I'm so excited for, and yeah. I heard you and Shane talking earlier about how I wanna teach other people how to self-publish.

Dave: Uh, also getting you more onto podcasts. Like, this is Jude's first podcast interview. Um, I I, I, I'm gonna, even though I got school and I got a lot of shit that I'm dealing with, I, I'm gonna really push to get you more on, 'cause what I try to break down the most and something that you do so eloquently is this idea of agendas.

This idea of this profanity, of this typical, of what is supposed to be, you know, you're supposed to respect. Like, it is ridiculous because you are the, probably one of the best examples of somebody that I have in my life of where be whatever the hell you wanna be. Just be freaking respectful, be understanding of other individuals,

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: just do what you're, do what you want to do.

Don't do what you don't want to do because that just feels like just a waste of time.

That I have no respect, but I try so hard to respect others and just let them live.

Dave: Yeah, because,

Jood: The people won't get that if you are different,

Dave: no,

I have a history of self-harm, right? Let's go out there. Let's say it. I have a history of it. Haven't done it in several years, but I have a history of it. But just 'cause I do it doesn't mean I'm not capable of. Taking care of kids doesn't mean I can't be trusted. Doesn't mean I'm gonna go and do it in front of the kids.

Never in a million years will I ever, ever, ever do anything, do traumatized kids because I was traumatized as a kid. But people think because you are different, because you don't fall into standard norms that you are bad. And this is a pet peeve of my.

Jood: Thank you.

Dave: Oh, of course I um, I have a friend of mine that lives out in Texas and this lady has been through hell. She married a politician, turned out to be a piece of shit, what's new?

Jood: Oh

Dave: And

Jood: yeah.

Jood: It's not okay.

Dave: it's not okay, but all of these struggles and everything combined. gets up every single day. She goes to work, she works in a rehabilitation center with addicts. She's written a book about her prison sentence. 'cause I kept on telling her like she didn't run about the whole thing with nine 11.

Like, honey, you got out of prison? Write it down.

Jood: I had love to read it. What's it called?

Dave: Um, I have to find it, but I'll, I'll send it out to you. Oh my gosh, she's incredible. Um.

Jood: I gotta see it.

Dave: But

Jood: gotta read it.

Dave: the thing that speaks for itself is like every single person goes through different things in their life. Does it mean that she is a delusional, crazy person because she does.

Jood: That would be cool. I'd love a time machine,

Dave: I know. Wouldn't it be cool if it was

Jood: but yeah. But yeah, you've gotta keep going. This person, I feel so bad for her, but I admire her because she continues going and the only way you could go in life as forward, you can't just stay. You can't just keep thinking that there is a magic pill that's gonna make your pain go away.

Dave: Yeah,

Jood: and you are someone that keeps going. You've been through so much. You are an amazing person.

Dave: I try, you know, and I,

Jood: No, you're,

Dave: I think what, funny 'cause I was talking to Shane about this, so disheartening, especially we're, you know, you, you utilize a lot of social media, which is really great to be able to get ideas out, get points across, even in regards to like, the fact that you guys both have two rescue pets. You know, be able to raise some of like the, the, the pros and cons and things that come along the way when you own rescues, but.

Jood: mm-hmm.

Dave: Being

Jood: When tiktoks not shadow banning us.

Dave: God.

Jood: Yes.

Dave: But when you have those people that go, this is the thing that pisses me off the most. You have people that go on social media and they just go on there for pure fishing. Okay? They go on

Jood: Yeah.

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: get

Jood: they're so fake.

Dave: Get a

Jood: But yet the world likes fake. The world does not like transparency. The world does not like people being real.

Dave: not.

Jood: I can't be fake. Even if I tried, I can't sit there and have tears roll down my face and talk about how when I was 10 my mom got married to an idiot. I can't, you know?

Dave: No.

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: Something that,

Jood: However, yeah. Sorry, go ahead.

Dave: you, you go on, I, I, I'll keep this thought in my head. Hopefully the weed won't destroy it.

Dave: I don't like fake people either. I, um, I keep, okay. I think we're kind of the same way too. We, I keep my social circle small. I have for a very long time. There are people that I'm very, very close to. And then there are people that, you know, I kind of just know. And

Jood: yeah, totally.

Dave: I think what happens also is you become very aware of your surroundings.

Like,

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: that if somebody is a liar or a piece of shit, I can tell you within. Honest, 10 minutes, maybe

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: right? I think like around 15 minute

Jood: it's true.

Dave: kind of.

Jood: It's like, just like there's data, which I don't know if it exists. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm not.

Dave: Yes,

Dave: you should,

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: that. I mean, listen, Taylor Swift has trademarked a lot of shit, but I'll tell you right now, continue that Train

Jood: Fake.

Jood: Yeah,

Dave: made me seem happy and they're like kissing and smooching and look adorable in the real world.

But guess what? They might be struggling mentally and you have

Jood: you have no idea. But yeah, it's a constant theme. Society doesn't know how to be real, but also you don't know what's happening. Be clo behind closed doors. You don't know what someone else is going through.

Dave: How

Jood: When I was in the hospital, yeah, when I was in the hospital, there were so many people that seemed normal.

That they were struggling with real depression or abuse.

Dave: which goes a long way. I mean, uh,

Jood: Yeah.

Jood: Wow.

Dave: You tell me like if that, that kid is being raised in a normal home, no, know, there are people where an extreme, but there are people where there has to be a level of understanding where. They were raised in environments, and I'm talking about sometimes on the extreme levels, like there are people that are raised in environments where we can't even think the level of trauma

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: and they're extremely limited. Like we're being real over here. Like we're both pretty limited with certain things.

We're not totally limited, like we can obviously do a lot of different things. It's life.

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: But there are people that are in positions where they are extremely limited, and

Jood: Mm-hmm.

Jood: But then there's the ones who's gone through a whole bunch of shit and they become great people because of it, you know?

Dave: Yeah, the opposite. So

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: question is it, is it really, like you said, is it really the parents to blame or is it really the person deciding if they wanna put in the effort in order to change?

Jood: Where is it? Life you ultimately don't know.

Dave: You're just not aware. Right. That's another thing

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: just, you, you, okay. Something that's hard to swallow a lot of the times where even if you're in religious cults, you don't realize you're in a cult. And the reason

Jood: No.

Dave: is because there's the movie theater, right? I grew up in months, you could just drive to the Palisades, but like, then you can drive back home and they're not holding a gun at you.

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: everybody, but the second you leave, what happens? No one's answering the phone. You send an email, no responses for months, Facebook and you see all these events going on and you're like, hang on a minute.

Why did nobody tell me?

Jood: Why am I not invited? I mean, ultimately it depends. Not all are like that, but that does happen more than you think. But yeah, they don't know any better through in embedded in this.

They are, and it's sad,

Dave: I think also,

Jood: I feel.

Jood: Yeah, they're trying, but they don't know how to step outside of it. Some are, but there's very few and far between their rabbis giving headers, giving okays for some things 'cause they're trying to keep people in. [01:04:00] But there is progress, but they have a long, long way to go and they have to step out a little bit and

Dave: of like You did.

Jood: accept people for being different.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Dave: Oh, you know, it's crazy because if you would've asked me the first time I met you, was, uh, was in Central Park,

Jood: Yes.

Dave: if I would've told you that Jude, in six years, we would be sitting here you in South Florida. Me in Brooklyn.

Jood: You mean the opposite, but yeah,

Dave: Dyslexic brain. Um, and having a conversation, talking about all the things that we've done for the past.

'cause it has been, it's been honestly like the past six years.

Jood: like six years. Yeah.

Jood: We never would've believed it ever,

Dave: I

Jood: but here it is,

Dave: thought

Jood: six years later.

Dave: Jude, some

Jood: No way

Dave: You'd be like, it's January. I'm like, I don't

Jood: you, you're Lulu. But yeah, here it is. Six years later, we're sitting here, we're talking about it. We're both doing well, figuring shit out. You know,

Dave: Life, life is funny that way.

Jood: I. Is. Mm-hmm.

Dave: I don't know what the story with you and your website, we're gonna talk about that off air. Okay.

Jood: Yes. Um, I'll give you the link.

Dave: okay. I know you get socials, where can

Jood: Yeah.

Dave: fantastic, magical people that have lasted up until now find you? Thank you so

Jood: I'd

Dave: by the way.

Dave: uh, what's the, what's the social media handle?

Jood: Jude Shane. Lynette. L-A-N-N-E-T-T-E.

Dave: Yeah. I'm gonna make sure

Jood: Yes.

Dave: sure to put all the links and everything below so these, uh, people can find you. And

Jood: Perfect.

Dave: you know what, we might have some, uh, people out in New York that'd be listening to this podcast. So if you bump into Jude while on your train ride in Brooklyn, be sure to say hi.

Don't be a fucking creep, because I'm telling you right now, I'll whoop your motherfucking ass. Like I'm not lying with you. But, um.

Jood: Yes, I do have my pepper spray with me at all times. So yeah,

Dave: Not kidding. It's always

Dave: So anybody that want to be a test subject, be sure to be sure to test your limits. Uh, but also isn't Jude like, thank you for taking the time and, and, and doing this. Like we've had so many of these conversations, but now it's like recorded on an episode and you gotta do more podcast. Okay? You gotta make me that promise.

Jood: I'm super excited. We'll talk more about it. Thanks everybody for listening.

Dave: that was Jude and um, if you guys wanna check out more of the podcast, you could find us at Lost in the Groove Pod everywhere and anywhere you listen to podcasts. And, uh, we're on Substack and we're also on Rumble. So with that motherfuckers, we will catch you on the next one. peace. Mouse froze.

Jood: Should I leave?

Jood: Life happens, people change. That's just the way of things.

Dave: No, but you changed, I think in many ways, like for the better in the sense of where you've always been a very resilient individual and you've always been like really talented, but you're a lot stronger mentally and you have been in a long time.

Jood: Thanks ma'am.

Dave: Of course. You want to,

Jood: So you're ready to do this or you

Dave: we are already doing this. We have been already doing this for a while.

Jood: Oh, no. So

Dave: Mm-hmm. Oh, shit.

Jood: excited to do this.

And I've just like, alright, let's get your feet a little wet because I. I think you have a lot to offer. I think the problem is, is that you keep putting yourself out to an audience that maybe not necessarily is looking for what you're looking for or can't generally appreciate what you're trying to give them.

Jood: It takes time. You have to be ready. Someone could say you're ready, but you have to wait till you are actually ready to do it yourself. You know what I mean? Things just take time.

Jood: I've

Dave: and.

Jood: like everyone else. That's just how it is. I've always been, I'm not gonna really say different because that's a strong word, but I've always been unique, I guess you could say.

That's what makes you you more than anything else.

Jood: Well, I always say normal is a setting on a washing machine. Normal doesn't exist.

Dave: Just like, uh, the cold on a washing machine. It's not actually cold. It's still warm water.

Jood: Exactly, because society always tries aim for no MA normalcy. But at the end of the day, sorry, these AirPods, but at the end of the day.

Dave: I told you. What did I tell you? What did I tell you the before we started recording? I said make sure J's gotta have a comfortable pair of headphones.

Jood: are mine. They're comfortable, but they're not like,

Dave: I'm just fucking with you.

Jood: We'll

Dave: Yeah,

Jood: it.

Dave: you fuck with me all the time. I'm just fucking fucking with you right back.

Jood: But anyway, what I was saying

Dave: Yum.

Dave: There, there has to,

Jood: on in the world.

Dave: there has to be a balance, right? There has to be, I think also getting the, the wrong end of the rod, and I mean that seriously, especially with you, is we're. The, the constant degree of you are not good enough, or you're not capable of is so demeaning because you are a very capable individual, you're very knowledgeable, and you have your ability to be able to write, to be able to create things like be able to, and it's just bizarre on how other people can just blatantly just say like, oh no, like.

What? You don't even know me. You know, like you don't know what I could do.

It's kind of hard to find the balance.

Dave: Because you don't know where to start.

Jood: Yeah. You really