When “beginner” workouts left me in days-long flares, I knew I needed a different approach.

I’d already tried four different fitness plans and was feeling pretty discouraged. I wasn’t losing weight, and the workouts were so hard on my body that, as someone with multiple chronic health conditions and chronic pain, I’d be wiped out for days afterward.

And then there’s life. Between work and caring for my two disabled kids, I couldn’t just head to the gym whenever I wanted. I needed something that actually fit my life.

I remember telling a friend that all I wanted was someone who could take my constraints into account and help me get in shape despite them.

Enter Coach Blake.

He built a plan that worked with my time, my circumstances, and my body. It was realistic, doable, sustainable—and effective.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and fitness coach, Blake Hill, to talk about his journey from mechanical engineer to passionate fitness coach who helps women reach their goals while navigating hormonal changes, chronic illness, and the chaos of life.

We cover:

• How to build strength for life—even with chronic illness, hormone changes, or limited time.
• Practical ways to avoid injury and burnout with a plan you can actually stick to.
• How to use motivation and discipline to show up on low-energy days.
• The impact of perimenopause and menopause on fitness (and why no one talks about it).
• Mindset shifts that help you overcome common fitness roadblocks.

Blake’s approach helped me fit fitness into my life in a way that actually worked for me. He met me exactly where I was—with compassion and science—to help me reach my goals sustainably. I learned that I can show up for myself imperfectly and still make progress. It’s not all or nothing and that’s a beautiful act of self care.

xx, Megan

SHOW NOTES: maybethiswillbethecure.com/blog/blake-hill

BLAKE HILL:

• Website: cactifit.org
• Instagram: @cacti_fit

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• Email - megan@maybethiswillbethecure.com

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DISCLAIMER

The information shared in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Consult your physician before making any changes to your health plan. The host, Megan, is not a healthcare provider. Always seek guidance from a qualified health professional for your individual needs.

Welcome to maybe this Will Be the Cure, a podcast where the wisdom of a healing journey meets the warmth of shared experiences. Join as we explore the topics of healing, living with chronic conditions, chronic pain, neurodiversity, mental health, and parenting kids with disabilities. I'm your host, Megan.

I am so excited for this episode. It's the first guest episode of season two, and I'd love to introduce my good friend and fitness coach, Blake Hill. I've mentioned him a couple times on the podcast because working with him was very helpful for me. He totally met me where I was at with all my health issues and chronic pain and time constraints, and helped me, you know, build muscle, and I felt great when I was working with him, so I really appreciated his perspective and support, and I just thought it would be really cool to have him on the podcast.

And we go way back. First of all, his younger sister is one of my best friends. And then Blake and my husband have been friends since they were young, and he was the best man at our wedding, and we've all remained friends. And like I said, he has a really cool approach to fitness, so I'm excited to have him here today.

So. Hello, Blake. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here.

Yes. This is gonna be fun. I'm excited.

Do you wanna start just by maybe just briefly, introduce yourself before we dive in?

Well, based on your intro, it kind of begs telling some anecdotes from our background, but I won't do that. My name is Blake Hill. I am classically trained as a mechanical engineer, but I have pivoted to coaching, fitness and nutrition. Yeah.

Thank you. I love it. So when I was preparing for the episode, I was thinking back how you. You weren't always Mr. Muscles. And I remember we had moved to Nevada for law school, and then we came back to Arizona for a visit, and we met up with you for dinner, and I almost walked right past you because you just looked so different and buff. And so I was just wondering if you'd share a little bit about your journey and how you got where you're at now.

Well, yeah, I feel a little compelled to reject the notion of Mr. Muscles, but I will accept that as a compliment.

You're jacked. What should. What else could I say?

So, yeah, it's kind of a. It's an interesting road, especially precisely where I've ended up. But, yeah, like I mentioned before, you know, I. I have kind of some athletic background, but it's not very. It's not the. The typical athletic background. I didn't really play any sports in high school or anything like that. Didn't really wasn't familiar with lifting weights.

And I actually had like a really weird opportunity to kind of get it introduced to lifting weights actually when I served like my Mormon mission, which was odd. There's these kind of leaders of the area, the mission president and since I was a zone leader so like I would in charge of like a cohort in an area of the other missionaries. I was approved to go to a gym if we woke up at 5:30 in the morning. And I actually experienced a little bit of a transformation then. Pennsylvania is really hilly, so we, we had to operate cars. And so I was just eating food and like sitting around in the car. So yeah, that was interesting. That was kind of my first intro and then I got really distracted with engineering school and a lot of other like life activities and hadn't really participated much other than maybe like a basketball, infrequent basketball kind of activity.

But I remember when I was kind of finish school where you're running around with your, your head cut off constantly right into like, you know, your first big boy job, which is just sitting in an office chair all day. But then it's, it's also like very ritualistic. It's like, hey, it's lunchtime, you guys want to come down? You know, and then you'll get hungry again. So it's very like after work you're tired. And I just noticed I had like quite a bit of unwanted weight gain.

But I, I had this like weird conflict inside of me and I had kind of noticed that I had like a weird attitude about like fitness and, and the culture. And I remember I had a very stark conversation. I think it was in a group at one of these group lunches or whatever. And I had just made this comment in front of my colleague Lindsay, who was a bikini fitness competitor at the time. And I said like, fitness is like a vanity pursuit or something like that, like a declaration. And I kind of got checked by her and I'm sure at the time she didn't understand that. She was like convincing me that like my attitude was wrong. And that's kind of where I got started.

So it's probably about eight, nine years ago at this point. And you know, I, I ended up going to the gym and falling in love with it and then, you know, deconstructing it like an engineer does because I wanted to make sure I, you know, was spending kind of efficient with my use in the time in the gym and and that was an iterative process that keeps iterating to this day.

So when your friend checked you, what you said, what. What was she saying? If it's not vanity, just vanity, what is it?

Yeah, I remember making an argument, like, it was really specious argument to, to be honest, but like, look at the cars in the parking lot, you know, at the, at the fitness centers or these commercial gyms, and they're typically. And it's like luxury vehicles. So I was trying to extend. It's like a. These. It's like a type of people that care how, like how they appear. And, and I mean, one. One of the things she easily did was like, oh, do you think that of me? You know? No. Okay, well, is that just the exception? No, I was, I was wrong. And then she kind of just would talk to like, how it's empowered her and helped her with her confidence and like, I don't think she was a bikini competitor because she thought that's like the most optimal way to be healthy. But it was just a way for her to like, set like a big long term goal and then take it and deconstruct it into small pieces.

And then the process of getting there is. Is just constant evidence to her that she can complete like small subtasks in this large overarching goal, which honestly was pretty convincing. And so she influenced me more than she probably knows.

I love that. I love how it's like this shift to like building resilience and proving that you're strong and reaching goals. That's a really cool viewpoint. I didn't know that story. Okay, so when I was new to fitness, I was like, how long is this gonna take before I start looking good, you know, or start feeling strong? So how long did it take you to feel strong in your body and feel confident in your approach?

So I'm, I'm gonna attend. This kind of begs a second, deeper question. But first I'll speak to how long did it take to. For me to feel strong? There's kind of two parts to that. The first part is it pretty quickly to feel strong. So I think the hardest thing I've noticed for people, and it was certainly the case for me, is feeling like an imposter when you start going to the gym. And it's something that if you haven't gone in years, it's been a long time. Or maybe it's like kind of the realistic beginning. Like it was for me, like, you aren't that strong, but very quickly you can, you know, add weight. So like, right from the entry point to some point in the future, it's not even that long. Three, six months, you're considerably stronger than what you were before. They call it that. The newbie gains or whatever.

And then there's another kind of hallmark of me feeling strong, which is there were some, like, kind of family mantras that were spoken over us growing up, like, hills can't jump. We all like to play basketball. So it was kind of like this frustration that potentially we lack this genetic gift. And then the irony is that it was a clear signal that my legs versus my upper body just was improving. If improvement is like, more weight on the bar, very quickly by comparison. So my legs got really, really strong. My. I would. I would turn heads in the gym, which is never the point, but with, like, deadlifts and squats for my size and if, you know, no one can see me right now. But my family produces tall, petite men. And so still having that frame, I was able to leverage quite a bit of weight with the legs. So that's another kind of piece of evidence I was feeling strong. Does that make sense?

Yeah.

And then there's kind of like a second way I think about this question, and that's kind of. I feel like sometimes, like, strong in your body begs like a. Sometimes we use a lot of words to not say other words. And I've noticed that a lot of times, especially when I'm working with client athletes, is that it's really hard for people to say, I want to look aesthetically good.

Yes.

And now that's a completely different process. So it's kind of like, I personally view, like, body dysmorphia to be on a spectrum that everyone's on, unlike some other things. And there's. There's been a process of accepting my body and quieting that negative self talk about how I view myself. And that's been a lot more of a longitudinal project for me.

Interesting.

And I've just. I. I've noticed. So, like, when you said earlier, like, how long is it going to take me to, you know, feel like it's working or get the outcome? That's kind of part of it. Right.

If I'm honest. Yes.

And then you. You know my temperament. Right. Like, I've been confident the whole time, in a way. And then since the process is so iterative, I feel certainly more confident now. But I think there is something with some sort of leverage of, like, grandiosity, like, I'm going to go do this. I have a plan, and I'm Going to execute it. That's helpful. Now, do I. Is my approach the same? Absolutely not. It's changed a lot over time.

Oh, from the beginning?

Yeah.

Interesting. Was there any, like, specific moments that helped, like, get you where you are now or, like, changed your approach or. I don't know.

Yeah, like, there were a couple. There were a couple, like, signals on my journey. I think I had been sufficiently warned, you know, by the information I was consuming, and yet I still needed to learn certain lessons for myself. And one of them was kind of inside of the excitement of getting stronger. Like I was talking about before, I was rushing to certain outcomes that I, like, kind of in my head, had built as important. And one of them was just, like, the weight on the power lifts, which is the bench press, the squat, and the deadlift. I just really wanted those numbers to be higher. And I kind of wasn't listening to my body, and I wasn't kind of practicing some principles that I use now. And I talk to my client athletes about, which is like, live for another day, which is like, don't do something that can put you out for three months. You know, if, if. If you need to, like, not do specific lifts because you're ag. You have, like, a nagging injury pathology starting, like a tendonitis or something, you know, just go to the gym, but just don't do those movements, you know, don't work through moderate to high amount of pain, and just live for another day. And I didn't do that before, so I had to learn those lessons. Kind of put me out and then kind of like another interesting kind of component that might speak to that body dysmorphia thing. I remember, like, at some point, I felt like there was something out there in the universe, some lever that I'm not pulling to, like, leverage more outside gains, which is typically the wrong mindset, I think. But, you know, it could be, like, going to search for supplements that are going to make the difference or, you know, you're kind of. You're not. You're looking away from the bread and butter.

Oh, you're, like, looking for a magical solution kind of a thing. Okay.

And so doing I. And I think this is something that a lot of men experience and women to a certain extent, but it's kind of reaching for something like hormone replacement therapy or for men, TRT. And, you know, I'm 37, but this is kind of occurring, you know, maybe when I'm about 30, 31. And so I started really investigating that. And since, you know, I got the brain I got. And I go down my deep rabbit holes. I ended up learning a lot about male endocrinology or male hormones, and inside of that is human hormones. And I kind of became obsessed with women's hormones along that journey as well. And that's kind of why I have the, like, specific focus I do now is once I was. I kind of flipped to the other side and I reviewed women's endocrinology. And, you know, how that system is sometimes more or less complicated than men's system, but it's certainly like the menstrual cycle and things like perimenopause are very fascinating. And so that's where the rabbit hole took me. So that's like another thing that's kind of contextualized my approach both to see that, like, something like TRT for a young man is not a panacea nor necessary, that you're probably losing focus on kind of your goals and the bread and butter stuff. But kind of paired with that is this, like, discovery of, you know, the female hormone feedback system.

And how did that tie into. You had mentioned it ties into the body dysmorphia thing that you were talking about before. Where was the connection there for you between learning about hormones and, you know, finding that maybe there's not like, a magic pill or whatever and realizing that there's, like, the bread and butter of fitness? How does that tie into the body dysmorphia?

It's actually pretty ironic. As I was, you know, gathering information, part of it was, you know, really boring, esoteric nerd stuff, like reading white papers. But other. Other times, it was like engaging in a community of people that would talk about TRT or even the extension of that, like, illegal anabolic steroids and things. And there was like, this ironic meta awareness where these men and these, like, deep Internet forums were, like, talking about their body dysmorphia. Like, part of it was irony, but part of it was, like, serious. It's like, hey, you know, this doesn't fix anything. Like, you still have that internal psychologic sense, that negative kind of view of yourself or identity, or you don't see yourself like the 10 closest people around you see you. And kind of that was maybe the root cause of grasping at magical solutions or straws. And that helped me kind of steer back towards kind of more of the basics and what I could do better. For example, like, I simply was not eating enough to gain as much muscle tissue as I otherwise could. So, yeah, kind of that was kind of my first acknowledgement of there's a. It's different. Like getting outcomes in the gym and how you feel about yourself are actually like two separate things and probably ought not to be conflated too much.

Yeah. And you know what's interesting? When I was working with you, the thing that quieted that voice for me, the like, you know, my body's not good enough or whatever, was the fact that I had set goals and that I was showing up for myself every day. Like, and, and following through on the things that I said. And like, I had to move so slow because of all my health issues, but it still like quieted that voice because it was like, like, I'm showing up for me. I'm taking care of me. And it helped me, like accept my body. I don't know why, but I totally see what you're saying. I feel like, super interesting.

No, for sure. Like, there's a ton of mindfulness to be practiced inside of like a fitness, nutrition and ultimately a wellness pursuit. So I think that's good that you're able to kind of reframe that for yourself in your head.

Yeah. Okay. So you know, talking about like the basics and focusing on those. Have you ever like gotten burnt out by like doing. I know you've done fitness stuff for years. Like, have you ever gotten burnt out from it or haven't been able to be as consistent or burnt out on health cultures and, or health culture or wellness culture? And if so, was there anything that helped you get back into fitness or. Or have you just been perfect forever at it?

Yeah, that's. It's an interesting question. Cause I do probably. I'm not exceptional in a lot of ways. One of them might be that I haven't really taken a ton of time off, but that's different than kind of the feeling of burnout. And what I've kind of seen is that burnout kind of occurs when someone's using like potentially the wrong fuel to carry them through the process. And that's usually when they're using like motivation. Sometimes motivation could be a very negative stimuli as well. Sometimes like you feel like you're inspired and you feel like a very positive driving motivation. And other times it's kind of like a negative self talk based motivation. So that's where I kind of noticed a lot of burnout comes from. And kind of what that does is, is it makes the alignment for your goals. And the goal typically is not normatively bad nor good. And it's kind of valid, but it's kind of when you're just. You get kind of disconnected from that overarching goal. So, like, maybe the goal is like, to lose ten pounds. You have ten pounds to lose. But if you're kind of using this, this like, motivation fuel, you'll. You'll kind of. You'll hit burnout eventually. But if it's like I, I'm dedicating myself to getting on top of my health, this represents me doing that and like, kind of breaking it down into, like, habits. Like, I. I'd like to have a practice of going to the gym and you're not throwing the whole kitchen sink at it. You can kind of remain aligned to your goals.

So kind of like moving from a place of, like, loving yourself versus moving from a place of like, you're not good enough, is that kind of the difference? And in the fuels.

Yeah. And then for me, kind of inside of the things we've talked about, like the, the body dysmorphia or the, and the acknowledgement of that kind of acting in the background might, you know, there became. There came a shift from my focus. So, you know, early it might have been strength, and then there was kind of like a bodybuilding phase, and I was really focused to outcomes in those pursuits. And now kind of the alignment is more longevity, but not longevity just to live forever. It's not a death, a fear of death or anything like that, but more of kind of health span as it's characterized, which is not only like, living a long, healthy life, but it's like, with vigor, vivaciousness, so that, like, you can accomplish tasks way into, you know, your 90s that most people can't. And that's kind of really aligned the effort and helped to make it a more sustainable goal. I certainly care about aesthetics because I'm a human being and I care about, you know, certain athletic ability. But that's all aligned now to. To the more health span approach.

Well, and it's interesting because when I was working with you, like, I have all these health issues, and so, you know, some days I can't show up maybe the way that I would want to. And I think what was so surprising too, working with you is that the fitness plans I had tried before, it was just like, push yourself so hard, and then I'd be dying for days afterwards. And it was like a miserable way to live. But when you set up a plan for me, it was very, like, doable within my current abilities while also still like, a challenge, like, pushing me. And you were really good about. Yeah, like, live to see another day. Kind of an attitude. And so you helped me find strategies like on the days that when I'm not, you know, I'm having a high pain day or whatever, things that I could still do to like work towards my goals. And so kind of related to that, how do you care for yourself on days when you don't feel like it or I don't, I don't know if you have health issues or anything, but I know like it's a typical human thing to sometimes not be in the mood to, you know, work towards your fitness goals.

Yeah, I actually want to spend a little bit of time talking about what you just shared. And I'm not throwing shade, but kind of when someone's getting into fitness, it's very novel. It's a very novel stimuli, especially like resistance training or lifting weights, which I highly recommend for women specifically. But it became kind of apparent that you were not maybe this avatar or this average composite of certain types of client athletes that come in that were just not used to it. And so like delayed onset muscle soreness is something. And it typically hits really hard at the beginning, especially when you kind of maybe work with like a commercial gym personal trainer because they give you like two coupons or something and they can run you through this really rigorous thing, kind of routine or whatever and you're not used to it. But that was kind of. As we continued to communicate in these kind of check in calls, it was really obvious that there were these real health concerns. And so at that point it's just about regressing something to your ability. And there's kind of like a big problem. I've observed with both of the whole space. But working with client athletes is kind of a zero sum mentality. It's like if I can't to whatever I approximate internally to be perfect, if I can't do that, then I need to throw the whole thing away and then that becomes like a reinforcing kind of habit or whatever versus like simply regressing the thing to your ability. Like what can I do? And that you were. Once we were kind of getting dialed into that, it seemed to work a lot better.

Oh yeah.

And I think. Yeah. And we kind of also worked on the mindfulness around that. It's like this is okay, like this is what we can do and something I kind of, one of my mantras is like something's better than nothing. So like even if it feels silly because it feels like a betrayal to like your intention. So maybe your intention was to do a 90 minute workout at the gym, and instead you do a 20 minute workout at home. Instead of the mindset of like, I failed to do optimal, it's like, despite, you know, only being able to do 20 minutes, I did it, you know, which is like kind of a big reframe.

Oh yeah. I'm even like getting emotional talking about this because I think that was like the biggest shift for me because I think I spent a lot of time like so frustrated that my body couldn't do like what I wanted it to do or like the goals that I had. And I think you were really good at helping me like, reframe that and like accept that what I can do is enough and it's better than nothing. And so I've continued with that, like, throughout all the different challenges that I have going on of like, how can I still get movement in, how can I still be mindful about what I'm eating and even with the different constraints that I have and letting that be okay and. And seeing myself in a positive light rather than being. I still have my days for sure where I'm frustrated. But like, I think it has helped me have like a healthier mindset around all that. So thank you.

No, and I'm. I. What I really liked about working with you is like the buy in because it is. I'm working against kind of very normative spoken over us maybe from fitness culture or just the very human need for acceptance or whatever. The other thing that I really like that I got buy in from you on and I think this was very collaborative too actually, but that you can have a healthy weight loss goal, but it doesn't have to happen in like a very tight time horizon because that starts to invite some of these like maybe negative like eating pathologies that can start to bubble up. And you know, we really just made that time horizon really long and we're able to kind of work towards it bit by bit without allowing it to get too squirrely, you know, And I.

Think it starts from that, like learning to accept your body like as it is now. And once you accept your body as it is now, like the best that you can, then it frees up that space of like, it can take time. Like I can do this in a healthy, sustainable way rather than like this moving from that, like fear or like that not enough motivation, you know, so.

And yeah, that's the thing is, you know, we use words like sustainable, but you know, it has an intended meaning and you know, it. That is a more sustainable route versus, you know, there's kind of like this notion of the boom bust cycle, which is to, you know, to use that motivation kind of fuel. You, you do something, you take radical intervention and then you get slammed into a wall because the motivation fuel runs out. And then you go back to the previous status quo until you develop that much motivation again and then you start the process over again. And that can be a very dangerous kind of rote like psychologic phenomenon for someone. And it's actually not like the, the most unhealthy component of weight gain is not the weight itself, but it's the gain because that's when you're on the flux. Flux meaning like it's going up or down and it, and your weight's going up, that's the metabolic distress occurring. But like at any kind of body composition like you can, you can have a better metabolic health at whatever the set point is. So that could be very hard both psychologically and on your body. So the sustainable approach I highly recommend. So that's why I, it was awesome that we were able to have so much buy in with these kind of tools because it's like, I don't know, this stuff is a very feelings oriented pursuit, you know, engages so much of.

It is like a mind game.

So I think getting buy in on like some of the cognitive traps is really important. And so I do want to respond to the original question. So the, and these are kind of like some maybe mantras or reframes that I, that I have. But there's kind of a, from Buddhism there's a parable and it's the parable of the two arrows. So this kind of, the underlying philosophy of this parable is to not suffer twice. So let's say you are struggling. Maybe you don't want to go to the gym that day or you've had a setback, small injury or. Yeah, health concerns. You know, in this parable it's like, you know, you got hit with an arrow, right? So you have this setback and then there's, there's a second opportunity to suffer. And it's how you, you orient around the setback. If you use it as evidence that you're not enough in scare quotes or you internally castigate yourself for like a skipped day at the gym, it's like that's the second arrow that's suffering twice. So I really like, you know, I didn't go to the gym today, comma, and that's okay. And then you just reset and you, you go again. Maybe when things are feeling better, you know, working on Your habits or. Yeah, when the, the injury, when the health flare up is died down, instead of saying, oh, I failed. I failed at my pursuit and I must give up.

Yes, it's, you know, that I. That principle, because I do. I've done thought work coaching for years. And it's that same thing of that Buddhist principle where you allow the pain, but you reduce the suffering, so you don't need to heap the suffering on top of what already is painful, you know, So I, I love that perspective. Okay. Kind of shifting gears. So once you figured out your own fitness and got that down, what led you to want to coach others? Because that's like a whole different thing.

Yeah, there's a couple things that went into this. Maybe some more altruistic motivations and then other ones that are more selfish. So I did mention I was a research and development and also product engineer for airbags in the automotive industry. Made the. Designed the airbag inflators. And there was something inside an engineering career that was difficult for me. And I spent a lot of time kind of working through that internally. I was practicing a lot of mindfulness, doing a lot of reframes, and I ultimately came down to, like, this deep desire to have full autonomy and do something for myself. So I kind of have this, like, entrepreneurial spirit that's, like, bubbling up inside me. And then another thing was just like, how much, you know, my. My rabbit hole, my hobby, me investigating, you know, fitness, resistance training, nutrition, and how much I enjoyed that, Enjoyed kind of sharing my insights with people that were interested in hearing them. And so that kind of inspired me to synthesize those things together. And then there's kind of. I know you and I have both talked about being, you know, the entrepreneur spirit and, and making things for ourselves a lot in the past, but there's like a mantra that the riches are in the niches. And I remember having this very stark conversation with my mother, and I'm not sure she understands how much of an impact it had on me. No, I'm going to cry. But we were. I think we were about to go buy Thanksgiving turkeys or something. We were about to go grocery shopping for a big, you know, feed the family project, and we're in the car. And I probably said something to trigger her, and she broke down in tears, and she said something to the effect that her body has completely betrayed her, how much pain she was in. And it was all related to kind of how it's felt to have gone completely through perimenopause and then menopause itself and then living kind of in the body of a post menopausal woman. And that was very kind of that struck right to the core of this desire to help people. And it actually was a very easy leverage from all this, like female endocrinology investigation I had been doing, you know, in parallel the whole time. And so that's kind of that synthesis of all of those three things kind of is what led me to want to coach others. So it kind of coaching has this like helping others component, but then I'm also, you know, doing something for myself. And that's kind of how it came to be.

I feel like that's where the magic is from your own desires, but then also from wanting to help others. And so, you know, you mentioned you work with women in perimenopause, and as you've worked with women up close and have witnessed that season in their life, has anything surprised you working with women in that season? And why perimenopause versus women just specifically in menopause?

So, yeah, that's a good questions. So I do kind of taking a little bit of a step back. The orientation with my company Cacti Fit is, you know, on. And I don't like this term, but, you know, scare quotes, women's issues. Kind of central to that is kind of coaching through awareness of, you know, the menstrual cycle. But also core is these huge hormonal changes that women undergo and their different seasons of their life. So perimenopause being, you know, foundational to that. So I have lots of expertise in that, but it is kind of a little bit more zoomed out. And there's kind of this. I think it even you kind of beg the question when you're talking about menopause versus Perry. I think it. There's. It's worth taking a kind of a little moment to kind of talk about those stages and what they are, because I think there's a huge fundamental misunderstanding out there in the zeitgeist. So there's a term in medicine called premenopause. And that kind of, to the mind, the layperson's understanding would be like pre being before, but pre menopause starts essentially when the menstrual cycle starts. So that's like the young preteen adolescent woman. That's when it starts. And peri is that would be the things that happen before menopause. But even perimenopause, which in kind of extreme cases can start as early as 30, but the average age is something like 45, 47, when that kind of kicks off. And then the average age of menopause is about 52. But menopause itself is actually just a threshold. It's just a line. And it has a very strict definition, which it's one year since your last menstruation. And so that essentially constitutes like, once you've completed that year, it's highly unlikely you'll ever menstruate again. But that year is kind of when all the fluctuations and all the symptoms and all those things, when you hear people talk about menopause and its difficulties, that's actually occurring in perimenopause. So like when I'm talking with my mother, she's probably a couple years after that menopause year threshold and kind of talking about the last 10 years and, and, and how now she feels like her body's betrayed her, like her hormones have shifted completely. She's dealing with, when she talked about her pain. There's a lot of symptoms that occur in perimenopause that can lead to someone in post menopause to feel more aggregated over time pain. And that's mostly to do with the fact that you women have a lot of estrogen in premenopause when they're young and kind of going through those life's milestones and transitions. And then when they're kind of more in that season of middle age, the estrogen is really, when it, when it fluxes through the menstrual cycle, it's just hitting lower levels and it's kind of diminishing over time. And that leads to a lot of, like these symptoms of perimenopause everyone knows about, like hot flashes, things like that. Maybe some mood shifts, maybe the unwanted weight gain is a symptom, but it comes with things like vertigo, frozen shoulder pots, all these other symptoms that people sometimes have a hard time linking to the fact that they might be in perimenopause. I think the, the, the way you get diagnosed though is, is if you're menstruation, like the days are getting, there's more days in between or less. So that time shift. And then the menstruation itself is heavier or lighter, so it's fluxing to heavier and lighter, and then it's extending and contracting in time. And so that's kind of maybe where, you know, you need to go talk to your doctor. And if you're, if you're able to, through your insurance, skip the PCP and go right to your ob, your specialist, your endo Your urologist, because they're gonna have a better awareness of those symptoms. Does that make sense?

Yeah. And that was super informative. And it's funny because, like, I am a woman, but, like, I don't know all that stuff. Ah. I feel like it's not, like, taught ever. I don't know.

Not talked about enough. I don't know why, especially in 2025, it's not talked about more obviously, like, I'm dialed in. So, like, that's my short form media, you know, like, people like Dr. Stacy Sims are coming through all the time. Dr. Peter Attia focuses. This is like, his more recent, like, focal point. So I get a lot of that. But. And if I. If I may speculate, I. It's something that I've. I'm really trying to. To key in on maybe the why behind. But, you know, this is something that kind of looms over women. I'll never experience this. I have this, like, privileged position to deal with, you know, male hormones over time, which is quite a bit a different thing. But it's a very scary, looming thing. And it's also, I think, going far into the past, it's been kind of a source of shame. So even I interviewed a lot of women who have gone through menopause, kind of in collecting case studies. And I remember talking to a woman who had the hardest time. If I asked a direct question, like, did you experience this symptom during this period of your life? She'd be like, oh, no. And then I would ask it in another way, and then she would kind of admit to it. So she was even struggling in a interview that would be seen by no one but myself, kind of taking up the space to talk about the challenges of the symptoms through that. And she was very busy, busy woman. She was essentially, you know, the chief operating officer at a medical office that was expanding. Like, she was in charge of all the admin stuff. So, you know, and she had the hardest time just kind of talking about it. So what I've noticed is before it starts happening is kind of this denial, like, off, escape, push it away, like, not think about it. And then after, maybe they. It happens, or. I remember things that my mother has said. My mother said, why did no one tell me about this? Why did my mother not tell me about this? Why did my sisters not tell me about this? So then there's this flip, and it's kind of like, why? Why did no one warn me? So what I try to do is break through that and catch people early and get Them, like, set up to ease into this big life transition kind of with a little bit more poise versus having it hit him like a Mack truck. So this is just, like, a dilemma I've. I've observed, and I'm really always trying to figure out better approaches and better ways to. To engage so that I hopefully can help.

Yeah. So just. Do you just. I don't want to, like, have misspoken or anything. Do you work with people at all different stages, or do you mostly focus on people in that perimenopause stage?

So the. The idea is my core. Core avatar or my core demographic that I'm targeting is kind of the period in a woman's life where the. The. The tools in her toolkit that she, you know, inherited, over time, they stop working for her. And this can happen before perimenopause hits or often perimenopause is the reason why that happens. And so it's kind of just a little bit zoomed out so that, you know, we can. I can catch these kind of client athletes and give them tools so that when that, you know, perimenopause wall hits, they're kind of able to navigate through it very easily. So that kind of puts, like, the demo at, like, 40 to 52. But then obviously, like, even before that, like, 30 to 52.

I mean, I'm 30. How old? My gosh, 34. So. So. And I felt like it was super helpful for me, and I like that idea of, like, getting women prepared so that their body's in a place to handle those challenges maybe more gracefully.

Yeah, it's, like, a little jarring at first for all the clients, and, like, you can maybe speak to your personal experience, but, you know, just taking, like, air quotes, women's issues in general, and it's like, are you in luteal phase? Like, maybe a question. Right. And it's not because, you know, the stereotypical. You've been spicy. No, it's like, you know, it feels like one year in luteal from my understanding. It just feels like gravity got turned up. The weights. Everything's heavier.

Yes.

You're bloating. You know, you're not able to recruit, like, your muscle fibers as. As optimally. So kind of training through awareness of, like, stages of the menstrual cycle, you know?

Yeah. Especially with weight. With weight. Because I remember, like, you know, I'm tracking my weight, and it would go up a little bit, and I'd be freaking out, and you'd be like, oh, well, are you in your Luteal phase. I'm like, oh, yeah.

So, yeah, I feel like, yeah, it's like a lot of bloating, discomfort, you know, irritability, maybe all these things that make it difficult through that period. Especially, like how you're thinking about maybe looking at the. The scale, which is just an indirect approximal measure. And then, you know, during the menstruation and then at the beginning of follicular, like, all that weight comes off. It's. It was all just water weight.

Totally. You know, and it was nice to be able to, like, see that visually. And so I really appreciated that. So I appreciated how you worked with those, like, women's hormones and stuff, but also how you met me where I was at with my health challenges and time constraints and busyness and stuff. So for people that might be listening, that already have a lot of things on their plate and thinking about fitness is just like one more thing on their plate, what would you say?

Well, I think maybe I'll start by saying it's the number one way to show up for yourself in self care. So I've had self care be the reason why people don't, you know, get to the gym or lift their weights or, you know, work on their nutrition goals. But I would actually argue that it's. It's a really awesome way or foundational way to show up for yourself. But that being said, there is a huge difference between air quotes optimal, like, like, I've maybe approximated but fell slightly short of while I'm prepping for imaginary bodybuilding competitions, you know, I was kind of gearing up towards maybe doing that, and so I did some mock bodybuilding prep. So that's over here in this fake, you know, whatever our brains think optimal is. And the difference between whatever that is and like, minimum effective dose is huge. So if someone lifts air quotes heavy, meaning they lift intensely such that they're within a few repetitions of technically failing, and they do that for about 30 to 45 minutes twice per week. They're at a huge advantage over the population. You know, most people don't. And then if you just do that kind of minimum effective dose, couple that with like, not a ton of Cardio, just like 90 minutes, you know, three hours of zone two cardio. And that package now of time and commitment is a lot smaller than, you know, maybe Instagram or wherever you're consuming your fitness industry nonsense would lend, you know, lead you to believe.

Well, and even for me, because even, like you saying, like 90 minutes to me, that feels like, well, that's so much time. But you found a way to like work with what time that I had. And I agree that I think it was so useful for me for my own self care and to feel that I was taking care of myself, was carving out that time in the way that I could. What are some of the things, like the most common things that you've seen that hold people back from reaching their fitness goals?

I think honestly, and not to get too meta, but it's. These are, I've just noticed a lot of like psychologic traps that limit people and there's kind of maybe three that are coming to mind and we've kind of mentioned a few of them already, but the zero sum or all or nothing thinking, so we talked about that. The other one I think is pretty important, which is a type of like disidentity. And I actually really hone in on this, you know, in my process. But if you have like a desire, a motivation, something the seed of a change that's kind of swelling up in you and you start to go to the gym, you know, you start to engage with these pursuits. You are an athlete. Like you, you are, you are now the person doing this. There is no, you're not an imposter. You're invited in the gym. No one's gonna gatekeep you because you know less than the person next to you. Allegedly. You don't know if that's true, but you're still allowed to be there. You're allowed to take up space at the gym, you're allowed to make loud noises. If you're maybe about to get injured and you have to throw the waist down, you're allowed to do that. And so it's this disidentity, it's this imposter syndrome that I've noticed that can get in the way. Like identifying as the thing that you are doing is a very helpful cognitive trick versus the opposite, which is to, to keep going to the gym and feel like you are not like you were an imposter there. You are not an athlete, you are not a lifter. You know, you're not a person concerning themselves with these pursuits. So I think that's, that's a big one to go with all or nothing thinking.

Totally. I feel like I, I remember making that shift. I don't know if I called myself an athlete, but I remember making that shift of I'm a person who works out like I am someone that is active where before I didn't identify that way. And I think it was super helpful because now that becomes a part of my identity and how I move, you know? You know.

Yeah. So I think that one's a big one. And then kind of the, maybe the last one is. We've also kind of talked to it, but it's a kind of chasing the wrong metrics thing dilemma or alignment of your goal, the why behind the goal. And that comes from kind of an inability to consider these more intangible things that are happening. That was a thing that we worked on as well that I do with all my athlete clients. But it's like, how do you feel? Like, how does it feel after you completed a workout at the gym on a day that you didn't want to go? Like, how does that feeling of accomplishment? Or like there's like these type one, type two, fun, you know, it's like, do you feel like that was fun after you did the hard thing? And like sitting in those positive, reinforcing emotions and being very deliberate in sitting in those, the positive ones, because we, we like to ruminate negatively, but you can actually just sit and in the positive and then that helps reinforce. The other thing is like, you know, we, we've talked about body dysmorphia, but sometimes you, you catch yourself in the mirror feeling yourself and it's like, oh, that's happening right now. That feels good sitting in that as well. So you kind of like, I'm feeling better, I'm looking better, my disposition's brighter. You know, there's a lot of evidence in the clinical literature about this helping, you know, well being as well. So kind of latching onto these things along the way as kind of an energy system instead of relying on motivation. And then, you know, that goal might be like, lose 10 pounds or improve your strength or you know, an aesthetic goal. But if it's aligned with these more positive, reinforcing experiences that can kind of carry you to your goal instead of maybe this more anxious, frustrated, negative self talk as a fuel source.

Oh yeah, that totally makes sense. As you've worked with more clients, has your mindset around fitness at all or motivation? Has that changed at all?

Yeah, it's changed a lot. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So we've talked kind of a lot to some of these components already, but kind of in your question is motivation? We've talked about that, but I want to key in on what I've been talking around a bit, which is like, motivation will not sustain the effort. It's just, it's a transitory kind of emotional state. And it like we talked about earlier, it can be have a positive valence, but it can also have a negative valence. And so like my mindset and, and kind of me, I've stuck in with, I've stuck into, you know, an overall notion that I'm going to be a person that, that, that lifts weights and does cardio for an overall fitness strategy. But it's actually kind of these other fuel systems, which is focus on habits and discipline. And I've actually been thinking a lot about this lately and I've shifted my thinking slightly. But often habits come with a paired term which is to normatively load the habit or meaning like assign it, like, I don't know, some morality, but that's like a bad habit and then a good habit. And I'd argue that everything's a habit. And so if you want a habit that you're gonna go to the gym at some frequency or lift weights at home, that's really replacing another habit. And you know, often that person's calling it a bad habit, but it's just a habit. And so the habit needs to be replaced with the new habit. And then when you're habituated, that actually makes things a lot more smooth. And then there's this other component of discipline, which is you have the new habit but sometimes you don't want to do it and then discipline is doing it anyway. Now discipline's a little bit trickier. It can be. It can turn into a white knuckle thing. So it's not something that we can use all the time. But I think the combination of discipline and habit are going to carry you through. So this is the mindset evolution that I've gone through, and I think we did a little bit of that as well. And it's really interesting because I, despite sometimes how my client athletes engage with me, I am very human and I'm all these same things are still occurring to me, you know, all the time. And I've had to like, use my own tools and like make my own, like habit replacing frameworks for myself to make sure that, you know, is my goal the right goal. Is this habit gonna better serve getting to that point? If so, this is the thing. And then I'll. I'll make a little sheet for myself of like the habit replacing framework and have to use it myself. So yeah, that's kind of been the mindset shift.

Well, it's interesting because like, in the coaching world, you know, they'll talk about that. Like, just because you're not in the mood to do something doesn't mean that you don't do it like it's bringing your imperfect yourself and your complicated feelings and just doing it anyways. And obviously as someone with health issues, like there is like you were saying, there's a balance with the discipline because you know, when is something painful versus just discomfort and being aware of those things but still being able to practice those habits, even if you have to modify in some way. Anyways, I just, I love that.

Well, we. I do think there's a ton of merit and you know, I have read one and a half of his books, but I don't know if the David Goggins approach is going to be very actionable across the general population of just like getting yelled at and you know, a very intense like just go anyway you loser or whatever. That's not what he says. But like that's probably how it lands in a felt sense because it kind of begs this potential inside of us to feel shame. And so yeah, live for another day comma and it's okay that I didn't go to the gym and then just refocus and. Yeah.

And building those habits. Well, thank you so much. Before we jump off here, I just wanted to ask you, how can people work with you or learn more about you? What kind of things do you do? What does it actually look like for people?

Yeah, thanks. So on Instagram it's cacti fit. You can look at, I post videos and kind of like the slide decks, informative slide decks. And then on my website cactifit.org that's where you can kind of look through the different offerings. So there's kind of two major offerings that we have right now which are something like a little smaller, easily to digest, which are full fitness plan ecosystems. So like you can buy an off the shelf fitness plan and that's kind of like under your own instruction. It comes with lots of addendum materials like a comprehensive guide which ended up being more of an ebooks than I ever thought it would be. And these tools that can help you track your nutrition, your cardio along with the lifting routine. It also has a little widget to help you kind of focus on what are your goals for a certain amount of time. And then the other thing that is the coaching. So we kind of engaged more in that way that involves like obviously we talk about your goals, the best practices and kind of how to achieve those goals. And there's a few tiers we were kind of operating in the middle tier of coaching. There's obviously like a bespoke type of coaching I could do if someone wants more time and attention. But yeah, that's kind of what we got going on at Cacti Fit.

Cool.

So thanks for asking.

You're welcome. It's really great talking to you. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I just love your perspective on fitness and I just think it will be really useful for people. So thank you. Thank you again.

That was so much fun. I really appreciate you having me on, and that was easy because we've known each other forever.

Yeah. Thanks for joining us today, where dreams are nurtured, challenges are met with resilience, and every tiny step forward is a victory hit. Subscribe so you can easily find new episodes and join this community, because maybe this will be the cure.