As the month of September arrives, many people including teachers, parents, and many different professionals often think of 2022 as the other new year. In this episode I share some of the greatest lessons I have learned so far this year – as reflected in the trifecta of joy.  

Living a life with connection, compassion, peace, prosperity, and joy and gratitude can be found in connecting with your trifecta of joy:  Your awareness, inner critic, and doing what raises your vibration!

I reflect on some of my own lessons and reflect upon:

• Holding opposing feelings
• Trusting intuition
• Letting go of old stories
• Being the adult in your own life
• Buying the bikini
• Holding space for feelings that don’t feel good
• Authentic connection felt between people energetically
• The gorgeousness of dancing and moving your body
• Gratitude as an interaction, practice, and badass way to crank up your vibe

You’re invited to consider what you have so far learned in 2022.  

What awareness have you brought into your life so far?

What is your relationship like with your inner critic?

And what are you doing that brings you happiness and raises your vibration?

What will you keep doing, what do you want to invite moving forward?

How will you make the best of the remainder of the year?  

Join SHINE! Love yourself, Light – accepting enrollment now, to start the first week of October.  See you there!

About the Host:

Tanya's mission is to create a legacy of self-love for women that reinforces trust in themselves through our programs, coaching, podcast, and book, The Trifecta of Joy! As Founder and creator of the Trifecta of Joy Philosophy, she combines over 30 years of research and work in various helping fields, to help you achieve your greatest successes!

Using her philosophy of the Trifecta of Joy, her mission is to empower people through their struggles with the elements of awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibe. This podcast is about sharing stories of imperfection moving through life to shift toward possibilities, purpose, and power in your life!

Having had many wtf moments including becoming a widow, struggling with weight and body image issues, dating after loss, single parenting, remarriage, and blending families, Tanya is committed to offering you inspiration and empowerment – body, mind, and spirit!

As a speaker, writer, and coach, Tanya steps into her life’s purpose daily – to INSPIRE HOPE.

Order your copy of the Trifecta of Joy – HELP yourself in a world of change right here.

Get in touch with Tanya and follow the fun and inspiration in other places too!

www.perfectlyimperfect.wtf 

https://www.facebook.com/PerfectlyImperfect.wtf

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https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanya-gill-695aa358/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH9VaHVMPa-Vk0l4LTuc_lQ

https://www.tiktok.com/@perfectlyimperfect.wtf?lang=en

Hugs, Hip Bumps, and Go ahead and SHINE!

Xo Tanya

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Hi friend, I'm Tanya Gill, welcome to lighten up and unstuck your What the fuck. Together, we explore the ways through life's stickiness moments, and how to live with more peace, joy, love and gratitude. We're going to talk honestly about what isn't easy, so you can discover the light within you that will carry you forward. My friend, this podcast is about you in real life, your body, mind and soul, and the opportunity to not only live your best, but shine, doing it

Hey, friends, welcome to lighten up and unstuck your What the fuck? You know, as I'm recording this, it is almost September 1. And this weekend, we were out for our regular Sunday morning adventure in nature, and I felt it. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's that different feeling in the air. It's like crisper, it's lighter, it just it feels different. And you know, it's that change is in the air season change is coming. Change. You know, for me, September and fall have always marked kind of the other New Year. And this past week, I also helped my daughter Sophie set up her classroom, she's getting ready for her students new year. And, you know, I think a lot of teachers and a lot of people parents to sometimes see September as the other New Year. And what I've noticed for myself is that, at the end of the actual year at the end of 2022, I will reflect on what the year has gifted me and what I've learned and also make some plans about where I'm going. It's what I do in that space between Christmas and New Year's naturally.

And what I was thinking about is, if September is the other New Year, what have I learned so far this year. So I want you to think about what you've learned so far this year, too, because maybe you're in that space of recognizing, hmm, the years about three quarters over. And there's some stuff that I've learned along the way. You know, when I thought about doing this podcast, I decided to talk about it from the perspective of the trifecta of joy. So I have a book coming out in December called the trifecta of joy, or lighten up and unstuck. Your What the fuck, I'm not sure which one. So if you have a vote, make sure you let me know. Basically, the trifecta of joy is that there are three main elements to living a juicy, joyful life. And those three elements are awareness, befriending your inner critic, and raising your vibe. And so as I was thinking about this year, so far, I realized that some of my lessons fit very beautifully under each of these elements. So with awareness, one of my lessons, if you will, is that holding opposing feelings is a really normal part of life. I absolutely love how the universe teaches us things in the strangest ways. And this year, I've really noticed a deep awareness around holding opposing feelings when it's happening. So for example, on August 6, we entered my first father in law's ashes. Now, that alone has some emotional charge add to that, that that day would have been his son, my first husband, John's 28th wedding anniversary, and you have a whole other piece to it. Add to that, that my mother in law's memory is failing, and she's starting to show signs of dementia and deterioration. And there was a lot of emotion that happened. So for me, it was amazing to experience this feeling of being proud of how my own boys showed up to honor their family. And then also feel some deep personal grief. And mostly that was for the complicated relationship that we've had as a family over the years. You know, these kinds of feelings ping pong. And, and it's okay to acknowledge that they coexist. You know, when I launched our podcast and their example when we launched when we launched this podcast when it happened, oh my god, where they're opposing feelings, my friend. I was excited and energized and proud and equally terrified, and nervous, and felt incredibly insecure.

There were so many what ifs that cropped up. And there were times when I thought I simply couldn't or shouldn't do it. So holding those opposing feelings is normal. Having the awareness that you have the opposing feelings is key. It's in that place of opposition that you can arrive at more clarity, but actually noticing, and you know, it really does come back to that inner critic piece, which of course, I'm going to talk about. But another awareness that's been really cool in 2022, has been around this building intuition. And I have to share this with you. Because you know what, I'm an empath. And I'm a spiritual being. And if you've been listening to this podcast, you might think I'm a little bit woowoo. But I'm also a hell of a lot logic. And I know that within us, there's a deep knowing. And I believe that we have the ability to tap into it. When I shared episode eight about speaking my truth, about being a victim of child sexual abuse, I'm sure you can imagine the feelings, there's a tornado of them that come with it. And intuitively, I knew it was time to be public, I knew that it was time for this, to have the voice that I was intended to give it. And since then, a number of women have reached out to me and thanked me for my honesty and my vulnerability. And you know, I am really truly but a single voice. But intuitively, I knew that it was time for me, it was time for my family. And, equally importantly, it was time to share it with you. And in that, what's so beautiful is that so many women have been able to give voice to some of their own traumas, and to move forward feeling with it rather than apart from it. And so in that sense, my voice created voice for them. And it was that intuition that led me there. And an intuition is tricky, right? Because we get a gut feeling. And then we think, Well, I don't know. But intuition is also meant trusting connection to like, I've had the pleasure of meeting women all over the world virtually in person. And I feel increasingly attuned to people's energy. So I've arrived at a space where I actually trust my gut about a connection. Intuitively, I know if a relationship will benefit us both. If I want to work with someone, and if someone will benefit from working with me. Or if I actually believe that someone would be better served elsewhere, I invite that opportunity to I follow that intuition, because it's really important in like serving the highest good of everyone. And the funny thing is, is that I know now that intuition is something that is nurtured. But I resisted it. So I'm going to tell you, if you want to lean into your intuition, here's a way to do it. Are you ready? I love this. Let go what? Okay, let go. Even if for five minutes a day, you become intentional about letting go. And that might be intentional breathing, or walking with awareness or visualizing your dreams, listening to a simple meditation. What I'm saying is, is that for even five minutes a day if you let go and stop all of the to dues and the to Das, and just be it is incredible what those few minutes can create in the rest of your life, including tapping deeper and deeper into your intuition or source. So that's the awareness piece that has kind of come with me in 2022 as a Coles Notes version, and I really want to share with you like the second element of the trifecta, which is refunding your inner critic 2022 has taught me a lot about befriending my own inner critic. And you know, the inner critic is a busy one.

Oh, is she a busy one? In my world if you've been listening to the podcast you know her name is deja deja, here we go again, poo as in, I heard this shit before. And she loves to waltz in. And the truth is that she still is an ongoing part of my life and probably will be all of my life. But let me tell you at the funeral or for my father in law, she was so quick to tell me that I was a terrible daughter in law that it was not my day to feel grief. that I had emotionally loaded the day myself. So it was my fault that I was feeling everything I was feeling like trust me, she was right there. And, and I had the awareness to notice that this was tied to old stories, to fear of rejection for myself and my kids. And that I really had no other job to do than show up authentically, be heart centered, and to love. It was okay to feel the ping pong of feelings. And let me tell you, she wanted to argue. But again, with love, I reminded her that this day was in my control and not hers. And I promised I'd ride those emotions with her and not against her. It's amazing how actually acknowledging those feelings can actually have such an impact and how you feel. Ultimately, ultimately, it's about being the adult in your own life. So when I decided again, to start the podcast, and decided to move forward with my truth, Dasia told me all the things that would hurt everyone else. She told me, actually, let's be honest, she screamed at me, we're a private family, some secrets are best left just as that. And she really told me that nothing good would come from this for me or my family. And what I realized was that I needed to Bravely Be there for that little girl within me Who scared as the adult, I had to remind her that we're safe. And that we have the responsibility to model hard things to others, and to talk about truths with our children, and invite the generations after us into places where they can truly feel beautiful and loved and safe and secure. And so I knew that even though deja was terrified, I needed to be the adult and do that, for me and for us and for her. And so we did it. We you know, I guess I could say that I held her hand and we bravely stepped forward. And it hasn't been easy. But I know what's been right. And, and you know, like, here's the thing. Daesh is there for the hard things like that. But she's also there for things like bikinis, okay, like bikinis. Dasia. And I had a pretty important conversation this summer, when I was shopping for a bikini, because I'll tell you, I was out there trying looking at some and getting ready to try some on and she literally told me I didn't have a bikini body. And so I had to remind her really quickly, because those things sneak in, right? I had to remind her really, really quickly. But everybody is a bikini body, it's a body in a fucking bikini. And then she said, Well, if you're gonna do this stick to black. So I wouldn't be an eyesore or draw attention. Okay, these are internal dialogues. I'm just being honest about the crap that happens in my head. Because lots of people don't talk about the crap that happens in their heads. And I'll tell you at that moment, I thanked her and reminded her that I love color. And I did I bought the hot pink one. And she tried to tell me that loud bikinis were for her, whoever her is. And we own a hot pink bikini, and we rock it and we love it and it makes us happy. The thing about it is when you realize what the inner critic is about, and what is reality, you become more and more connected to who runs your show called life. Befriending data has been a game changer for me. And obviously she's still around. I think she probably always will be. But it's a game changer because it's a different way of looking at your life and realizing what you're holding on to it doesn't actually fit. So maybe befriending your inner critic will be a game changer for you too. And then finally, friends the last. The last piece I want to share with you that I absolutely love and it's my favorite is raise

your vibe. Raise your vibe is the third element of the trifecta of joy. And oh my goodness. Let me tell you, let me tell you, I am all about the vibe. And if you choose one place to start, consider this like what makes you happy, what feels good to you what raises your vibe? We're all energy and if you want to raise your vibration, the energy that you feel in your life, just do some thing that feels good to you. And that might be something as simple as connection. Like, let's face it, you receive a goofy selfie from our friends that makes you chuckle, vibrates. Right? You know, connection is such a beautiful thing. And 2022 has taught me that connection happens between souls, and that with intuition as my guide, great relationships are growing and being fostered on a deeper level. And while some relationships evolved, and maybe even drifting away, there is always space for more connections with beautiful souls. So I've been trusting this, and I've learned so much from the connections worldwide, that this adventure has brought, you know, being able to connect with people like truly from, from clients and CO creators, in places like Australia, and the United Kingdom and throughout Canada in the US, including Florida, and Pennsylvania, California, and Nevada, like, this is all great things happening. And it does, it raises my vibe to work with such incredible women in their pursuit of their juiciest life. It is such a vibrator for me, and oh my god, to see them. Raising their own vibes is the most magnificent gift. So for that, I have to say I'm grateful and like, whoa, thank you. Another way to raise your vibe is to dance. And the reason I'm sharing this with you is because music creates something within us we resonate with the energy of music. And you know, in all this is awesome. And all of our perfectly imperfect programs, there's an element of practice tracking. And so one month, this year, in the spring, I decided to track something different a daily dance, you can track anything you want. I've tracked Starbucks for months, I should probably go back to it. Anyway. I decided for one month to track a daily dance. So every morning, I turn on a high vibe song, often Lizzo because she's badass. Shake my tushy and a badass suede for the length of at least one song. Nothing but dancing. One song. And that's it. What's cool is that I noticed something, my overall mood for the day seemed to be better. And I know that this is not science. And it's not a research study. It's just noticing. But dance is high vibe in action for me. So my question for you is this like, Do you dance? What is high vibe in action for you, we are affected by the energy we receive. And that's why nothing beats a dance party. So we also have them in the collective. So if you're part of the collective, you know what I'm talking about. It's just another way to express movement and enjoy that space together. That is the connection and the dance. And I'm grateful for it because it's a vibe razor. And finally, maybe not finally, I could go on for days. But here's what I want to share with you. If there is one thing that I can invite you to consider it is raising your vibe by expressing gratitude. I absolutely love the simplicity of gratitude as a way of raising my vibe and the vibe of the person I think and I could come up with 1000 different examples. But this summer while I was in Vegas, on my way to Starbucks to grab a cold drink and by the way, it is blistering as fuck. In Vegas in the summer, I was walking the block and a half and I passed a homeless fellow asleep in the shade of some trees and I noticed that he had a jug of water but he didn't seem to have much more with him. So I actually woke him from a distance and said Hey, is it okay if I bring you back something to eat? And he said yes. So I returned with sandwiches and juice and a muffin and the cake pop.

And I stepped the cake pocket to the top of the muffin and I asked him what his birthday was. And James shared that His birthday is November 20 1960. He said it had been a long time since anyone had seen him happy birthday. And he showed that after Peter and I sang happy birthday to him and presented him with the muffin with the cake pop. And he laughed and he smiled and he was he had the most delightful moment and he said thank you. And you know I asked then if we could sit and visit for a while. My perspective To visit, we're all human. And if we have the opportunity to learn from one another, if we're simply there with help, not just a sandwich and some juice and a cake pop and a muffin, but with honor, empathy, love and presence, it really can make a difference in people's lives. And, you know, James shared his story of biker gangs and violence and his own decision to step away from his family and his children. So his kids could have a prosperous life apart from violence. He also explained that some of the deep bruises that we saw on his legs, and some of the cuts and gashes on his arms and face, were the result of his effort to prevent a mother and daughter from being ducted, the week before. You know, and the amazing thing is that when I said to him, like, I'm so sorry, he laughed, and he's like, it's okay. The mother daughter got away. So that's what matters, my scars will heal. And you know, what's so cool is that when James and I parted ways, he told me that my face reminded him of his first wife and his eldest daughter. And he thanked me for lunch and the nice visit. And, you know, it was, it was me who truly thanked him, like I was honored that he shared of his life, and that I could celebrate him that day. And in that moment, and ultimately, we just both felt seen, we shared a connection as human beings. And that, to me is like super deep, beautiful gratitude. And with gratitude, you can say thank you to someone. But another thing that you can do for yourself is list gratitude. And you'd have to be living under a rock to not know the benefits of lift, lifting gratitude. That day, I listed my gratitude and put James in there. The cool thing about gratitude is that keeps on giving. So I experienced gratitude with James, I expressed gratitude toward James when I wrote it in the list that day, when I was reviewing it, I saw it, I thought of him again and express gratitude. And now I again, express gratitude to James for who he has and has been and who he is, and, and the simple gift of some time with him that day. It doesn't have to be complicated. And it can make a huge difference to how you raise your vibe. So my question for you is this What lessons have you learned so far in 2022? What would you like the remainder of your year to look like? Where are you headed? In three and a bit months? At the end of 2022? What awesomeness Are you going to look back on? enrollment is open for shine. It's a 13 week program that starts at the beginning of October and it's a beautiful way to ensure you arrive at the end of the year feeling comfortable, and confident, proud and ready to bring 2023 and all of its juiciness. Maybe this is the sign you've been waiting for. Maybe you're ready to shine. May these lessons from today's podcast provide reflection into your own life and living. Where is your awareness? How's your relationship with your inner critic? What can you do to raise your vibe if you're looking for a really great song Lizzo has plenty go on and you know, blame it on the juice. From my heart to yours friends have a beautiful day thank you for listening and go ahead and shine thanks for joining me today my friend.