Shownotes
Most of us carry a story about who we are, written years ago, often without our permission. It quietly narrows us, deciding what we're good at and who we get to be.
Author and healer Isa Lara Marié explores the self waiting beneath that story, why we wear the masks our families and cultures hand us, and how turning toward yourself with kindness begins to set you free.
About the Guest:
Isa Lara Marié is an international bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and healer with over 35 years of practice. She is the founder of Eternal Grace Ministry and author of First Light.
Key Takeaways:
- Much of our identity is a role our family and culture handed us.
- Waking up to "this isn't me" can be shocking, and freeing.
- Ask: what am I doing to belong that isn't true for me?
- Real transformation needs aloneness, which isn't the same as isolation.
- Breaking the old rules brings fear; meet it by turning toward yourself with kindness.
Connect With the Guest:
Website: isalaramarie.com (YouTube channels and free resources)
Book: First Light
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] The Story We Carry — Sayan opens on the self beneath the story
[03:00] The Mask We Were Handed — How family and culture write our identity
[08:00] Waking Up — Isa on realizing she wasn't living as herself
[13:00] What Am I Doing to Belong? — The question that begins to free you
[18:00] Aloneness, Not Isolation — Why deep transformation needs solitude
[22:00] Meeting the Fear — Breaking the old rules and turning toward yourself
[26:00] Belonging to Yourself — Remembering the self that was always there (timestamps approx.)
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Transcripts
00:00:00 Sayan: Most of us walk around carrying a story that we tell ourselves about who we are, and perhaps to others as well. Build years ago, mostly without our permission and the story somehow narrows us. It tells us about what we are good at, what we are, not who we get to be. And underneath that story, I think, sits a self who has been quietly waiting to be remembered. And today we will be visiting that self.
00:00:35 Sayan: Welcome back to another episode of the Soul Mirror podcast. I'm Zion and today I'm joined by Issa Lara Marie, who is here to talk about that self beneath the story that we have been telling about ourselves. So Issa, welcome to the show. It's an honor to have you here with me. And I think this is really going to be an interesting conversation because not something that I hear a lot of people talking about.
00:01:03 Isa Lara Marié: Thank you. Cyan. I'm very excited to be here.
00:01:07 Sayan: Thank you so much. Likewise. So before we jump on to the central theme of today's conversation, a little disclaimer for all the listeners who have just tuned in right now.
00:01:54 Sayan: So with that being said, is I want to begin with the way that most people carry their identity. Right. Because I think we treat the story that we were told about ourselves as the truth. Um, like smart and maybe sometimes too much, not enough. Whatever. Right. The one who always, uh, appears to be the strong one. So from your work, really, what do you think is the biggest misconception here? That people usually carry about their own identity? And what shifts do you think, uh, when they begin to see that story as a story?
00:02:30 Isa Lara Marié: You know, most people that I work with all these years, I see that they carry the story of what their family put on them, the conditioning, the role they had to play in their family very often, and also culturally, the culture that each person grew up and the way that they were conditioned that they needed to act or be. And that's really how I've seen people showing up with like, we're calling it this mask, right? Like wearing a mask because it's really not who they are. It's really what's been put on the person. And a lot of my work or my passion, I guess, is about just helping people to uncover that, to pull that mask off. And it's like unburdening Yourself, you know, and, and it's like, it's like you're underneath that, that covering that's been placed on you all of these years. And usually it's a roll, right? Yeah. Did you have a roll like that?
00:03:47 Sayan: Uh, I think we all are at some point. And you know, this, this is a great starting point, I think, because I think a lot of people could relate to what we're talking about. But, uh, I, I want to ask you something personal. You know, what does that first moment of seeing usually look like for someone? Because I think that's a very subjective question. But if I, if I want to ask you the same, uh, what would your answer be.
00:04:16 Isa Lara Marié: For myself personally?
00:04:18 Sayan: Yeah.
00:04:19 Isa Lara Marié: Wow. Um, when I first began to have that realization that I was not living myself, that I was living, sort of like the person that my family had told me I was, and my culture had told me that I was. Yeah, I would say when I woke up from that, it was shocking. It was like, wow, I am really not like that. Like for me, my family and my family, I had to be very people pleasing and extroverted and taking care of everyone else all of the time. And as I woke up, I realized that I was a very shy, quiet person, actually introverted, and I needed a lot of time alone. But I was conditioned that I always had to be people and doing things and taking care of others. And it was exhausting to the point where I actually got Illnesses and problems in my body from it over in the past. And as I woke up then it was like, oh, what do I want to do? Do I really want to do this? Do I have this to give? And I'm still a good person, even if I don't choose that. That was a big like light bulb that went off. Wow.
00:05:57 Sayan: And I think the answer to that should be yes for everybody who asked that question to themselves, right? Because why not? Because because I think, you know, it takes maybe eighteen years, uh, for somebody could be fifteen, twelve, twenty, twenty five, thirty more than that, uh, to come to that realization, maybe, well, maybe later than that, right? There is no right or wrong time, really. Uh, but one thing that we gotta admit is that we all are aware at some point, a byproduct of the society. This conversation is perhaps, uh, regarding that because, uh, we found a way out and now our mission is to help people realize the same. Right? So when I say byproduct of the society, I mean, uh, in every way, right in, in, in a way how we should act or, uh, the narrative that we should choose for ourselves and for the people around us. Um, you know, the way we should be celebrating, uh, during, uh, you know, traditional, uh, festival or whatever in all sense, really, uh, I would say that everything if you, if you, uh, are spiritually awakened enough, everything around you is really programmed or that's the word that I want to use. Uh, or I do use, uh, right when I'm just describing the society and, uh, products of the society. So, uh, before we actually jump deeper into this conversation, uh, I want to ask you if you want to make this, uh, much more real from your perspectives on your lens, uh, for an adult who is still living inside this story that's written for them long ago. Mhm. Um, what does coming out of it look like? Maybe in baby steps if you could share.
00:07:41 Isa Lara Marié: Mhm. Well, first of all, it takes a lot of courage. And you you have it. You all have courage. Everyone has courage. And if you don't feel the courage, you can ask divine. You can ask the universe for that courage. You can call on support. Right? All right. First, it takes courage. It takes the willingness to recognize that you're living a lie, that you're living something that isn't yours, that isn't your truth. And we all want to belong, right? It's such a deep. um, burning, you know, feeling that we, we're all doing these things because we want to be accepted. We want to be loved. We want to feel part of something bigger. None of us want to feel alone or isolated or left out. And so the first question I would invite you, if you're still living some untruths in your life, if you're listening now, I would invite you to ask yourself, what am I doing in order to belong? That is not true for me. What am I choosing daily? How am I acting in ways that are not really congruent with how I feel inside, just so that I'm approved of or included or belong? This question right here can free. You can begin to free you and help you become aware, oh, I'm doing this for the wrong reason. And then I would invite you to turn towards yourself with kindness and literally say to yourself, I am with you, I am here, I belong to myself and the divine, the greater reality of life, whatever you want to call it, consciousness, you belong already. You can't not belong to that.
00:10:03 Sayan: I love it. I think that's something new that puts a new perspective to the table. But there's something that you said earlier is that I want to talk about, uh, definitely. We, uh, you know, do it, uh, live this lie, uh, to feel belonged, uh, you know, and I mean, Um, to feel included. Right. Uh, but I, I, from my experience, what I would like to invite all the listeners is that I think real growth and it could be in any form, it could be, uh, in an awakening form. It could be, uh, you know, on, uh, the paper form wherein you, you, you track your growth like a measurable, um, you know, improvement could be in any form happens, I think in real, um, isolation because I think, um, to really. Outgrow, um, in some sense, uh, takes a cost and that cost is a little bit of, uh, isolation is when I think real growth happens. Uh, but curious to know what do you think about that?
00:11:19 Isa Lara Marié: I love that. I, I would just Barely. For me, I use a different word. I would say aloneness. Yeah, but not isolation.
00:11:32 Sayan: Isolation. Yeah. That's that's a better word for sure.
00:11:35 Isa Lara Marié: Okay. Okay. So perhaps it's just subtle, but like, yeah, we need, we, we need, you're right. We need to be alone in order to do the deep work, the profound work of transformation. And that does require being solo at times and alone. Right. But but you're right. We're not truly isolated. We are connected to all connected.
00:12:06 Sayan: Right?
00:12:06 Isa Lara Marié: That's we're connected, but we are in aloneness. And it's a holy work to do that. And I've found we need to be quiet.
00:12:17 Speaker 4: Oh yes.
00:12:18 Isa Lara Marié: We take time right in silence And be with our self and really get curious, like, how do we feel? What is in here? AM I carrying my mother's energy? Is it me how I'm feeling or is it someone else? And what do I want? What is true for me? What am I wanting? What is my mission? What am I here to create? I think these are great questions.
00:12:49 Sayan: Great, great questions indeed. And I think the way you tweak that, uh, right. I mean, for the lack of a better word, um, aloneness indeed is, uh, a very important for I mean, it's a nuanced thing, but it is an important factor in any kind of transformation. So here's what perhaps I would want to wrap up this conversation off with. So when you talk about that transformation, when you realize that maybe you have been living behind that glass for a few couple ten, twenty, thirty years from the questions that you already asked just now. What are the first few baby steps, uh, that you would want the people, uh, to the listeners to take for those who have stuck with us till this point, but maybe lack that courage that you already talked about, right. Um, because, um, you know, we, we often feel that if we do a certain thing or things, uh, there's the whole world would turn their back on us. So, uh, because there's always a fear of getting excluded, right? Uh, that is what keeps us going in the same direction or same pattern or keep us repeating the work, essentially. So what would you really invite them to think? And, um, yeah, to just introspect.
00:14:08 Isa Lara Marié: Mhm. The first few steps that you take when you realize you're behind that glass wall. Is first, I want you to know that you may feel fear. That's normal. To acknowledge that it is normal to feel afraid because you are what I call breaking the rules. You might be breaking the family's rules or the culture's rules or the world's rules. But you may be subtly going against the grain, as we say, like against the norm, and you will feel fear. And I encourage you in those first moments when you feel the fear, like, oh, no. Will I get in trouble? Will I be excluded? To turn again towards yourself with kindness? Again, I'm going to keep bringing it back to your relationship with yourself and say to yourself, it's okay. I'm here. I'm present with the fear and the universe is supporting us. The divine is supporting us. And there are many people in this world who want us to be true to ourselves, who actually value healthy boundaries and sovereignty and and healthiness. There are many people that you will then attract into your world who will be so wonderful and kind to you. So let's just have little first steps. And again, it's being with yourself and turning towards and giving yourself reassurance and then eliciting the help of the divine, always remembering that you're not alone, that there is a force, a great mystery, or the divine Consciousness that is here, that we are living as and within, and that is always available. When we say help, we are sort of turning on that force inside of ourself to show up. And it does work. It really works. It will really show up for you.
00:16:43 Sayan: Love it is. I think you nailed it completely for the people who wanted to hear something, I think you just had the right and the right amount of words. So I want to thank you for sharing this kind of clarity with us today. But for the people who actually resonated with what we just spoke about and wants to find you and your work, so where's the best place for them to find you?
00:17:11 Isa Lara Marié: My website is a great place to find me and contact me in any form or join in. Uh, I have YouTube channels on there and a lot of free resources. And that is my name is Laura Maria dot com. Feel free. You can enjoy all the resources and my book is there first light.
00:17:35 Sayan: Wonderful. So we'll have that details in the show notes. And thank you so much for, uh, keeping everything at one single, uh, uh, place where people can easily explore more from there. And, uh, with that folks, uh, we'll keep that in the show notes for you all so that you could reach out to Issa. And with that, unfortunately, we hit today's minute mark on this conversation on the soul mirror. So folks, uh, something that I would like you all to stay with and ponder about as we wrap this off is that I think you are the witness and not a script. I'll repeat that again. You are the witness and not a script. So I would be sitting with that one. And I think you should as well. So thank you so much. And to everyone listening, the two of you is still inside. The story can still be written. It's never too late. And with that, this has been signed and we'll see you in the next one very soon.
