Are you unknowingly giving up control over your career, leadership, and well-being? This episode reveals how NGO leaders often underestimate their influence—and what you can do about it today.

In this episode you'll discover:

• The three most common ways NGO leaders give up their power—and how to stop doing so.
• How to rethink career progression and create opportunities beyond the ‘traditional’ path.
• Practical steps to take control of your work culture, team leadership, and personal well-being.

Don’t allow assumptions to block your ability to create change—start shaping the NGO career and leadership style you want today.

Tune in now to learn how to take back your influence and create meaningful change!

What Is Your Leadership Style?  Free Quiz:

Want to know how to lead better?  It starts by understanding your leadership style.   To find out yours, take my free quiz “What Is Your Leadership Style” - you’ll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting your team and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.  Just click on the link fill out your quiz and click submit.

This podcast empowers international development and humanitarian NGO UN leaders to achieve high performance teams, fostering diversity, inclusion, and wellbeing, overcoming burnout and overwhelm, while maximizing impact and productivity.

How might you be allowing others to decide your

workload, career and wellbeing?

Find out in today's episode.

Welcome to the Modern Humanitarian and Development Leader podcast.

The podcast helping humanitarian and development supervisors.

Make a greater impact by taking control of your time, leading more inclusively

and empowering your team, all the while avoiding stress, burnout, and overwhelm.

I'm your host, leadership coach and former aid worker, Torrey Peace.

Are you ready?

Let's get started.

Hello, my aspiring modern NGO leader.

I hope you're having a wonderful week and just a few things

before I get started today.

One is that you might hear some background noise today.

There's some construction going on next door, and so I'm doing the best

I can to mask it, but it's possible it might come through as well.

Also for those of you who reached out after the earthquake here in Bangkok,

I really appreciate your thoughts.

Everything is fine.

I was able to evacuate and for the most part here in Bangkok, we

did not experience nearly the same impact as of course, in Myanmar.

Really actually, would love to hear from anybody who has any.

Links that I could share in one of the weekly emails to help those in Myanmar,

any ways to make donations, et cetera.

I know a lot of people here are asking about it too, and a lot of

people in the in other countries.

So if you have that information, please do email me and feel free to share.

That's Tori T-O-R-R-E-Y, at aid for aid workers.com.

Yeah, it makes you grateful for another day.

I mean, it was a very scary experience.

I had to run down 13 flights of stairs, but thankfully I am in pretty good shape.

And yeah, overall things here are more or less back to normal.

So in today's episode, we're going to talk about why you have more influence in

your work and work culture than you think.

Three common ways that NGO leaders underestimate their power to make

bigger change, and how to reclaim the power that you have in order to shape

an NGO culture that is a better place to work for you and for your team.

So let's get started.

So first of all, I think power is something that in

the sense of authority to.

Make decisions or to make changes is something that we think we have

a lot less than we actually do.

And I have a few examples of that, but when we believe that we have

less power than we actually do, because a lot of times we don't

question it or test our belief, we just treat it as if it were a fact.

Then that leads us to not be active participants in shaping the type of

workplace that we want to work in, or helping protect our teams from

greater workloads or helping create the kind of space and even the kind

of career or the kind of position we want in our work and even in our life.

I wanna share with you three areas that I see NGO leaders giving

up their power very frequently.

I see this with leaders I work with that take my course.

I see this with leaders that I've interacted with when I

worked 12 years in international development, and it's places where

you could be creating more of a workplace that you love to work

for yourself and for your team.

But.

Because of this, this perceived lack of power or influence, you take a more of a

backseat and more of waiting for others to make the change for us, whether that

be the organization or those above us.

So there's this perceived idea that we need to wait for

others to change before we can.

Like we will be punished or something if we make the change ourself

before those above us make it or before the organization makes it.

And I think a lot of that comes from the group think that humans have of

not wanting to be isolated, not wanting to be the person that stands out.

Maybe even culturally, you live in a country where everyone is conforming.

Everyone does the same thing.

But I wanna test some of those ideas because some of the greatest leaders

that we've had in all time, for example, historical figures like Rosa Parks, who

refused to give up her seat during the civil rights movement and, and sparked

a whole boycott movement around, you know, that one action of her power.

The power she had to make change through not moving through what she could control.

Or Malala

Yousafzai, the Pakistani woman who became a global icon for education and women's

rights after being targeted by the Taliban for advocating for girls' education.

Or even, Mahatma Gandhi, who was a lawyer and an activist who did

not have any formal authority, but led India's independence movement

through nonviolent resistance.

I mean, these are examples of leaders who have done incredible things and

wouldn't be necessarily in a place of power or having the permission

from others in order to do so.

So back to NGO leaders, where I see us giving up most of our power

or influence or allowing others to tell us what we can do, is one

areas around career progression,

another is wellbeing, and the third is the way we lead.

So career progression.

I'll give you some examples of this from my own personal experience.

When I was in the NGO world, I was told that I had a certain career path.

I could either do, technical or I could do more of a programming route.

And programming route meant managerial like

I would become from a program manager, I could become a head of programs,

and then usually became a country representative or country manager.

And then you would go to the regional level.

But there was a certain track that most people followed.

And actually, I had a conversation with a regional level director who told me that

my only track was the managerial level.

But I decided that I did not want to necessarily do the managerial route.

And so I started looking for ways to create more of a track along

the lines of my passion, which was savings and lending groups.

And there were not a lot of savings and lending group positions, but I managed

to find an opportunity in Timor Leste

which allowed me to mo mainly focus on savings and lending.

And because of the success that I had there, even though the role wasn't

officially just technical, I had enough success and I was the only

one working on that in the region that they actually asked me to go to

other places, not only within Timor, but eventually in the Philippines,

to help out with the savings and lending programs there, and I was in a very good

position to be able to shape more of a technical role for the Asian region.

However, at the time I decided that I wanted to go back to the managerial track,

I had changed my my mind, even though I did enjoy savings and lending programming.

I didn't like the rigidity of where it was going, and so I decided to just go

back to the, managerial route, which is why I became a country manager.

But that, all that to say, I didn't listen to this person telling me

that this was what I had to do.

Like my only route was to become a head of programs and actually

I never was a head of programs.

I actually skipped that.

Became a head of office and then country manager.

So not necessarily feeling like you have to follow a certain track or a

certain path to get to where you want.

My husband is another example of it.

When he started in the NGO world, he actually created his own position

as a security person in Haiti.

At the time, they didn't have one and he saw the need for

it, so he created it himself.

And I'm mentioning these examples because I think that a lot of times we

limit ourselves to what already exists.

Whereas if we are able to, and especially in times like this, where there's a lot

of change coming in the humanitarian and development sectors, the more we can

think about what is it that we want to do?

What do we want to create and how can we make that happen?

I think we tend to look for what already exists rather than think

about what do we want to exist.

So that's one example of where I see a lot of us just following the path or

looking for what exists already, rather than thinking about what do I want to

create and going about it that way.

The second one is around wellbeing.

I think that a lot of organizations, and I've talked about this before, say

that they want to, to create change in the area of wellbeing, but they don't

always, or are not always quick to do so.

And part of that is because change when it comes to organizational culture

workload and all these other things.

It's not as simple as saying, this is what we're gonna do now.

It's not only even about training people, it's about really motivating individuals

to make different decisions, and that means that no matter where you are in

the hierarchy of your organization.

You can make that change first, be that change that others want to see.

So rather than following the culture of long hours and not pushing back.

I remember when I was working for my NGO, there were a lot of, especially

female leaders who would push themselves to the point, and this was

a regular thing that they would push themselves to the point of burnout.

They'd have to take a year or two off and then come back and this was just something

that was part, I would say it's almost was part of the culture, yet the organization

was saying something different.

We have to make that change.

We have to decide that this is not acceptable and that also how much

of the change or how much of the the decisions that we're making that, oh

no, we have to work these longer hours, or we have to say yes to extra work.

How much of them are actually true and driven by those above us versus

just in our head or our own beliefs?

And I think that's where people get mixed up is a lot of times so many of

us think that we have to do what is part of the of, of what everyone else

is doing, but we don't question it.

We think that we're not allowed to do anything else.

But I'll tell you time and time again what I've seen with people taking my

course, becoming the modern humanitarian and development leader, they start

to make these changes because I show them that these are things

that you can do as an individual.

And they realize that after they've done it, that not only are they helping

themselves, they're helping those around them because they're giving

them permission to do the same thing.

So that's the second one around wellbeing.

The third one is leading your team in a new way, and what I mean by that is

wanting permission or wanting a change from up above before you change your

leadership style to one of like, let's say, more empowering or coaching.

Once again, this is something I've observed of students in my course.

It's not as common as some of the other ones I mentioned.

But it still happens and it's still something I remind them.

I even have a whole week where we focus on how to introduce a

new way of leading to your team because I see it as so important.

But all that to say, a lot of times, leaders.

They think that in order to lead differently, they also need

permission from senior people above them, or they need to see

the change at a higher level first.

And that is not necessarily true either.

A lot of times we can be the examples even to those above us, and there are

not always, or I haven't ever heard of any leadership police going around.

And saying that you cannot lead in a coaching way.

And actually if you're, you have permission.

'cause most, most people that take my course, they have permission

from their organizations.

By default, their organization is saying, yes, we want this leadership style.

We want you to empower those around you.

We want you to coach and help create a learning culture.

You're being given permission to do these things, and yet there's still this idea in

our heads that this belief that we can't create that change without seeing it from

those above us first, which is something, once again, that is not necessarily true.

So what do we do about this in order to change it?

Well, one is creating more awareness just being aware of how much power you have and

really what is perceived versus what is factual when you think you don't have it.

So a question you might wanna ask yourself is, how am I allowing

others to decide things for me?

In areas where I don't feel in control, how can I find out if those, those areas

I really don't have control or I actually do, and it's just a perceived reality?

Like I'm perceiving something like around my own decisions around working

less or whatever that I think is not within my control when actually it is.

So really testing these assumptions that we have and realizing

that they are assumptions.

So first step, realizing that I'm making assumptions about how

much control I actually have, and second step testing those

assumptions to see is it true or not?

Because a lot of times from my experience, it's not as true as you think.

And, if you feel uncomfortable with that, you can always enlist your supervisor or

others to help you create that change.

You can make it a bigger movement within your team or within your organization.

Like Pravat Shared last week, you can have a conversation with

your supervisor and ask them to help you to create these changes.

And a lot of times, like in Pravat's case, they will say yes, they will support you.

Second thing is to be creative and think of what do you want first.

Then how can you create it?

So rather than just going with what already exists, thinking

about what do I want to exist and then how might I create this?

It might not happen overnight, but I promise you if you have a vision of what

you want to create, you will be way more likely to create it and to achieve it

than if you are just going, from job to job, because that is what's available.

And then thirdly, focus on what's within your control.

So intentionally create the culture you want within your team.

So what's within your control?

Like when I was a country manager, what was when within my control was my

country program, the people I supervised directly, but also the wider team.

So I use that opportunity to create influence.

Create culture change.

But you can even do that with even a team of two, even a team of

one, just having this conversation about the changes you wanna see

with wellbeing, with other areas.

You know that, that the way that you're working, the kinds of positions you

have, the way that you're leading.

Having these conversations and focusing on what is within our control and what do we

want to change that's within our control?

So once again, just very briefly the way that you can take back

more of your power or really test what is within your control and

the amount of influence you have

is by first of all, being aware of what assumptions are you making and

testing those assumptions and seeing how maybe you can make it more comfortable

to make those changes that you want.

Number two, being creative and thinking about what you want first,

and then creating it rather than just waiting for things to happen.

And number three.

Focus on what's within your control and how can you create a culture even

within your team, whether it's through your leadership style or however that

you can really be proud to work in.

So the reason for doing these things, of course, is because the more we

test these assumptions, the more we focus on what's within our control,

the more we take back our, our power and our influence, the more we can

make the change that we want to see.

It's a very exciting thing and we can be part of the influence and the,

the vision of what we want for the changing humanitarian development

sectors all while being a modern leader.

Alright, until next week, keep broadening your impact.

Bye for now.

Are you the type of leader that tells others what to do or to let

them figure it out for themselves?

Understanding your leadership style is a first step to deciding what's

working for you and what's not.

To find out your leadership style, take my free quiz.

What is your leadership style?

You'll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting

your team, and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.

Just click on the link in the show notes, www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz.

Fill out your quiz and click submit.

So what are you waiting for?

Go to www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz and discover your leadership style now.

Your team will Thank you for it.