This episode emphasizes the transformative power of self-love and the importance of using reflective practices to foster personal growth. Host Kellan Fluckiger invites listeners to explore their inner dialogue and encourages them to look into the mirror and affirm their worth, stating, "I love you," as a powerful exercise. By examining how we treat ourselves and the messages we write on our mirrors, we can begin to shift our mindset from self-doubt to self-empowerment. The discussion also highlights the necessity of perseverance and continuous effort in achieving personal goals, comparing it to the commitment required for physical fitness. Ultimately, listeners are urged to embrace their infinite power and take actionable steps toward creating their desired life.

Listeners are taken on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, as the host passionately discusses the significance of self-love in achieving one's ultimate life. The episode intricately weaves personal anecdotes with practical advice, encouraging individuals to reflect on their lives and the messages they wish to share with the world. Central to the discussion is the mirror metaphor, which serves as a powerful symbol for self-reflection. Kellan presents the mirror exercise, a technique designed to foster self-affirmation and counteract negative self-talk. By looking into their own eyes and expressing love for themselves, individuals can begin to dismantle the barriers of self-doubt and insecurity.

Throughout the episode, Kellan emphasizes that self-love is not merely a feel-good notion but a foundational aspect of overall prosperity and happiness. He motivates listeners to take consistent action toward self-improvement, reinforcing that the journey toward one's dreams is a continuous process that requires dedication and resilience. Ultimately, the episode is a heartfelt invitation to embrace one’s true self, to love unconditionally, and to pursue a life filled with purpose and joy.

Takeaways:

• The mirror can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth.
• Loving yourself is fundamental to achieving financial, emotional, and spiritual prosperity.
• Take time daily to look in the mirror and affirm your worth and efforts.
• Self-love practices can help unlearn negative beliefs instilled by society and upbringing.
• Your internal dialogue shapes your self-perception, so treat yourself with kindness.
• Creating a Personal Truth and Commitment document can guide your journey to self-empowerment.

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Welcome to the show.

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Bo.

Welcome to your ultimate life.

This is a sacred and special place dedicated to one thing, not brick walls.

That's a fun background I have that I like just because I don't know.

It's a fun background.

Anyway, what it is dedicated.

It's dedicated to you.

Like, you know, when I appear on other podcasts, which I do a lot, I've been on, I don't know, five or six hundred, and I always am amazed at the dedication and love that those podcasts hosts have.

And I know because we talk about it, some of those hosts are using a podcast to make, try to make money or create a business or do that, you know, marketing tool.

And that's fine.

But regardless of all that, and some try to monetize the podcast, you know, get sponsors and everything else, wonderful.

It's spectacular.

But you know what else it is?

It's a labor of love because it takes a lot of work.

You know, the.

You have to have good gear or it sounds terrible.

You have to know how to edit, you have to know where to put it.

You have, you know what I mean, all that stuff, maybe you cut it up in shorts and put it on YouTube and you know, all that stuff, right?

And so it really is a labor of love.

And that doesn't even count getting guests, vetting guests, getting them on, providing guests with stuff in order to use it on their own social and everything else.

A lot of work.

So it's a labor of love.

And so I always tell them that because I'm a host too, right?

And I love them.

I just love people that have such passion about their mission and message that they go to the effort and energy of putting on a podcast or a television show or radio show or whatever.

It's spectacular.

So here's what I want to do.

I want to invite you.

Do you have a message?

Do you have a message that you want to share about life, about your own learnings, about your journey, about overcoming obstacles, about how to do something?

What is the way you add good to the world?

World?

Like, what is that?

What things do you love that you do?

And that can be true.

You don't have to be an entrepreneur or have a coaching business or any of that.

Besides, whatever you do to earn your money, to square away your dimes, you Have a passion about serving and lifting and loving.

I know that.

I also know that you're on some kind of a personal development journey, because that's the people who tend to watch my show, people that are engaged, a lot of them are coaches or consultants, authors, speakers.

Why?

Because they have messages to share.

So do you have a message?

I bet you do.

And this is your invitation.

I have a huge platform.

Okay.

We're coming up on a thousand episodes in a few months.

We're 900 and something.

This is 925, I think.

But anyway, I want to invite you to reach out and let's explore having you on the show because I want to spread your message.

I want your story to reach my audience.

I want to give you the opportunity to love others through our interview.

Now you can go back and look.

In fact, I'd invite you, I hope you're listening to them, and see some of the interviews that we've done.

And I do.

Maybe half of them just me.

And half of them are interviews.

I've got two interviews later today that are going to be out for some time in November around Thanksgiving, because we're a month or so out.

And I love both these people.

I'm excited to interview them and talk about their work and spread their message.

So this is an invitation to you.

If you have a message, come join me.

I'd love to share it today.

I titled this episode what's on youn Mirror?

And, you know, most of us would look at our mirror and we see little dots of water.

You know, if we shower and shake our heads or brushing our teeth and little speckles of things.

That's not what I'm talking about.

What's on your mirror is a.

Is a phrase to ask you if you're using the mirror to help you grow.

Okay.

Are you using the mirror to help you grow?

And the mirror is a fabulous tool.

And I'll tell you why.

When you look in the mirror, you see the truth.

You see who you are.

Now, there was a time, many times in my life where I looked at the mirror and I hated what I saw.

I didn't like who I was being.

Oh, I might admire my appearance.

You know, I've had different facial hair or none.

And how my hair was or, you know, what did my face look like?

All that stuff.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about, like the poem, the man in the glass or the woman in the glass.

You can never fool them.

You can fool all the others in life and get pats on the back as you pass.

But your final reward will be heartache and tears if you've cheated the man or woman in the glass.

And that's a rough approximation of the last stanza of a poem called the man in the Glass.

And it talks about looking at yourself with truth, not with criticism or with anger or with frustration or even with regret, except to the extent that regret motivates you to do something new.

Because, you know, if we keep doing what we've been doing, guess what?

We get what we've always got.

And if what we've always got doesn't make us happy, we got to do a new thing.

So today, what I want to talk about, what's on your mirror, is how to use the mirror.

Because we look at one every day.

We get dressed.

If you're a guy, you shave or trim a beard.

If you're a gal, maybe you put on makeup or brush your hair.

You know, whatever you do, we use a mirror to look and see.

Now I'm inviting you to use it in a different way.

So here's one way that I.

I've done it here in the basement, which is where my studios are.

This is a very, very large basement.

It's a big house.

And I've got a recording studio and a video studio and a coaching studio, and that's not even close to all the rooms.

So I joke that, you know, the basement's big enough.

You need a map to start with.

I, you know, it was like lots of rooms.

But anyway, it was a big.

There's a bathroom down here, and it's behind the.

Behind the backdrop over there in the other part of the basement.

And it had a big, long mirror, right?

And one of the things that I did is I took a dry erase marker and the mirror went from above the sink all the way to the ceiling.

So it was quite tall.

And I wrote on the mirror words of encouragement.

So I wrote, am I living in love today?

And other phrases that are powerful phrases, questions or declarations.

I choose to love.

My God.

You know, there's just other things that you could write there, and I would change them from time to time.

And the purpose, because I look in the mirror like we all do at different times.

Whether you're getting dressed in the morning or going to the bathroom or brushing your teeth or whatever, you see those words and yeah, it can become rote.

There it is, whoop dee doo.

And you don't see it anymore.

Or you can make a habit of consciously taking just a second, slowing down and Breathing in whatever you've chosen to write.

And then if it stops being powerful, write something new.

Write something new.

That's one way.

I have used the mirror and love it.

Now I'm going to teach you another thing that you can do or not do, but I promise it's powerful.

I said something about it in the last episode and we're going to talk a little bit more about it today.

This is love.

Loving yourself is the foundation of all prosperity.

I'm say that again.

Loving yourself is the foundation of all prosperity.

Now, you may think in your mind of examples of rich people who are meaning prosperous, who hate themselves, hate others.

You know, all kinds of things that you think of as contradictory.

I don't care.

Throw those off the table.

Do you want financial, emotional, spiritual prosperity?

So you live not only in prosperous circumstances, but with a prosperous heart and you feeling good about yourself, your relationships and your God.

Like really good.

Not, you know, that squeaky, ugly, yucky feeling.

You know what I mean?

So it's possible you may think that's out of reach.

It starts with loving yourself.

And here's why.

If I love myself, like really, if I love myself, I'm not talking about self indulgence and a bunch of other stuff, but if I truly love the spirit being that's in this body that was created by God, then I'm going to take care of it.

Like, if you love one of your children, you take care of them.

If you love your spouse, you take care of them.

If you love a friend, you take care of them.

You do things to help them, to bless them, to lift them, to protect them.

So if you love yourself, you do that.

If you're not doing that, you don't love yourself.

You can pretend you do and you can say you do, but you don't.

Because the actions tell the truth.

And people tell me this is important to me and that's important.

I say, okay, let me see your calendar and your bank account and I'll tell you what's important to you.

And that's assuming the calendar is an accurate reflection of what you do, not what you thought.

So if the calendar filled itself in automatically with what you actually do, that would tell the tale of what's important to both of us.

So I invite you to think about that.

And here's one way to use the mirror.

One way is to simply take.

Start with 30 seconds and look into your own eyes.

Not at your body, not at your makeup, not at your hair, but just look in your own eyes and say, I love You.

I love you.

I love you.

And do that for 30 seconds.

And then after a few days, increase it to a minute.

Now, something that some have encountered, and then on to five minutes.

So a minute, two, three, four, five.

Five minutes.

And let me tell you what can happen.

What can happen?

It won't happen unless you make it happen.

But here's what can happen when you first start that may feel awkward.

I had a client who did that for a week, and I started him, I think, at three minutes or something.

He came back the next week and said vehemently, I would rather put my hand in a meat grinder than do that exercise.

Because he.

There were things he was angry with himself about.

He had bitterness and frustration toward himself.

Failures in relationships, estrangement from kids, rocky things with spouse.

You know, just different things that made it really difficult to look into his own eyes and say, I love you.

You know what?

Every one of us has areas in life where we don't think we, quote, measure up.

That doesn't have anything to do with loving yourself.

So let's talk about your kids.

If you've had a kid or a God child or an nephew or a niece that you love and care for, if they make a mistake or even do something stupid, you may want to correct or need to do something or mitigate the problem, do you quit loving them?

Hello.

No, you don't.

You love them anyway.

And in fact, out of that love, you make correction.

Now, I'm not counting the times we might get angry and do something stupid, yell, scream, you know, people, slap others or do other things like that that we might have to fix or repent of or repair or apologize for or do whatever.

I'm not talking about those.

When your love is pure and motivated, then the things that we do to help each other are motivated from that love and don't involve injury or physical violence, violence or emotional violence.

They don't.

So while it may be uncomfortable to start with, you need to explore that love for yourself.

And if it's.

If you're filled with doubt or revulsion or you have inauthenticity, it's not real.

That doesn't mean stop, it won't work, and it's not real.

It means this is the exactly where to start.

Now, here are a couple of tips about how to make this easier.

If it's difficult for you, like the meat grinder dude, right?

Then list specific things.

I love you for trying to do this.

I love you for getting up and exercising this morning.

I love you for creating Money to support whoever depends on you.

I love you for your efforts to overcome some issue.

I love you for attending 12 step meetings if you do that.

I love you for going to a mastermind belonging to a networking group to try to get clients if you do that.

I love you for showing up on time for every day at work and going all in, even though the boss doesn't care and he's a jerk.

So there are specific ways that you can think of to add to just plain I love you that make the phrase easier to swallow, easier to do and feel more true.

They don't substitute for just plain I love you because what you're saying is I, the true essence, the spirit that's inside the body, it isn't the body.

You know, we give the example if I lost my arms and legs and you know, we see people like that, that have that condition and just the torso is all there is and they're still alive and they still think and they still feel and love and create and all the rest.

So the body itself is not the essence.

And you can.

There are many things about you that I love already.

I don't even need to know you and I love you.

You're a child of God.

You're watching this show.

You have a desire to add good to the world.

You've made efforts, they've been as successful as you wanted or not, you've made those efforts.

So I love you for that.

It's like I was talking about podcast hosts.

So choosing to do the mirror exercise.

30 seconds a minute, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Choosing to do that is a powerful, powerful beginning to self love.

Now, there's another piece to this.

We'll move on from that piece.

When I ask prospects or clients, do you love yourself?

Oh, yeah, I love myself.

And something about the energy of the response tells me that there's some question there in my mind because it doesn't feel congruent.

So I ask another simple question.

And this is, I'm offering this to you to ask if I watched you, if I was a fly on the wall with you every second of the day and I was a fly in your mind and I could hear your internal dialogue, how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself, what you think of yourself.

If I could hear all that, then I ask, what would I see?

That shows me a person who truly loves, cares for, nurtures himself.

When I ask that question, not always, but often, that launches a different conversation.

That's a struggle.

Well, you know, we yell at ourselves, we get after ourselves.

We are unkind to ourselves.

Bitterly.

We talk to ourselves in a way that we would not talk to anyone else or nor we would allow someone else to talk to a loved one.

And we do that.

That is not loving.

The being that you are now learning to hate yourself is learned.

You're not born hating yourself.

Your experiences and the teaching you got from parents, society, family, church, work, whatever teaches you to doubt yourself and hate yourself to varying degrees, or feel like you're not worth it, worthy, et cetera, you're banished, you're alone, you're not accepted.

All of the different ways that can be expressed, we're taught that repeatedly, practically from the cradle.

If that's learnable, it is also unlearnable.

And we can also learn to love ourselves, appreciate ourselves, acknowledge our efforts and thoughts and work and trying, even if others laugh and ridicule, that doesn't matter.

They're not with us 24 7.

We are always with us.

And when we adopt these externalities and allow them to weigh on us continually, they become like poison.

They become like that bitter taste, the bitter taste of doubt and fear that sits underneath everything.

So I'm going to do this.

I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to get more clients, I'm going to make more money, I'm going to find a better job, I'm going to get in shape, I'm going to improve my relationship.

I'm going to.

I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to.

And it all feels squishy because we're standing on a bed of quicksand.

And the quicksand is that doubt and fear that it sits underneath everything that is beat into us from birth in all those different ways and dozens of others.

Society, culture, et cetera, et cetera.

So my point is, it's all learned.

And if it's learned, it can be unlearned.

Okay, you can learn.

I've taught piano for don't now, but I taught piano for 40 years, from when I was 17 till about 57.

So I taught piano off and on, sometimes with a lot of students and sometimes with a few for 40 years.

Beginners, advanced, super advanced.

You know, not just piano, but orchestration, jazz, improv, all kinds of stuff.

And I've had adult students, guess what?

They didn't do it all their lives.

And they said, I wish I had.

And they learn and they grow.

And maybe it's not quite as fast as a young.

Whatever.

They learn and they grow.

So if we learned these patterns of not loving ourselves.

If that's what we learned, we can unlearn them, we can learn them again.

New things, better things, empowering things, powerful things.

And that work is worth every effort.

It's worth anything to change the dialogue, because I want you to think about something.

If you set a goal to make more money, to get in shape to create a relationship, to find a partner, to repair something in your life or do it better or learn a new skill, and it's sitting on that quicksand of doubt.

And I don't know if I can do this.

And what if I fail?

And I don't want to tell anybody because they'll laugh at me and all of the elements of that quicksand.

You know what that feels like because you've done it a bunch of times.

Maybe you're doing it now.

Now imagine that same set of goals, that same set of goals, exactly the same.

But instead of being founded on doubt and uncertainty at quicksand, it was founded on granite bedrock.

And the bedrock is the certainty in your own heart that you're a child of God, you're capable, you have power, you can build anything you want, and you are whatever you declare yourself to be.

And it was on bedrock that didn't wiggle and feel squishy and doubtful, and all that doubt and squish were eliminated, what would be the difference in how you approached any goal that you set, any promise that you make between those two scenarios?

Well, the difference is wild and enormous.

Not even close to the same.

You know exactly what I mean as you think about that.

So you say, well, of course, duh.

So how could I create that?

Bedrock is the natural next question.

So that's what I want to talk to you about now.

What's on your mirror?

So if you want to eat.

And I just saw an episode or two of a new series that Joy and I have looked at a little bit, and it's about, you know, an alien invasion and some kind of apocalypse or whatever, right?

And people are worried about food and surviving, etc.

Etc.

When you're in a situation of urgency, say, I need to eat.

What is the effort that you put into that?

Well, anything.

Look in every cabinet, look in every cupboard, go to every neighboring house, go to the store.

You know, you spare no expense.

Why?

Because, you know, if you don't eat and drink pretty quick, you're dead.

That's effort.

If you want to get bedrock underneath your goals, if you want to be standing on a firm foundation, then I would invite you to put that kind of effort into it.

And so all the suggestions that I'm giving you, pick them, do them and never stop.

Don't do them once or twice.

I didn't work.

Blah, blah, blah.

If you looked in one cupboard and there was no food and then another and another, would you quit?

No, I'm going to just die.

No, you keep going until you either find it or you die.

We'll do that.

So write words on your mirror that are words of truth and empowerment, that are words that make you stretch and make your heart swell when you read them.

And if they're founded on quicksand right now, don't worry about it.

Put them there anyway.

Look in the mirror and love yourself.

I love you.

I love you because.

And then list three or four things that are true for you.

Nobody else is listening.

You're not trying to impress me.

That are true for you.

And sometimes we have to slow down.

If I've made a mistake and I'm in the throes of self recrimination and I go to the mirror and I say, I love you.

Yeah, bullshit.

You know, the thoughts bubble up, I slow down.

I love you for standing here and doing this work.

I love you for recreating your bedrock.

I love you for what you're going to go do and apologize and clean that up if that's part of what's required.

And those things are true.

We're not uttering falsehoods, trying to talk our themselves into something.

Say only things that are true.

So write stuff on your mirror and practice the mirror exercise.

Those are the first two things.

The next things are stuff that's contained in a PTAC Personal Truth and Commitment document.

If you want to read about this, and I invite you with all my heart not to blow this off and say, you already know that.

Get the book Living with Purpose and Power.

Living with Purpose and Power.

Living with Purpose and Power.

That book.

There are many books on this.

I know what's in that one because I wrote it.

It contains the work of the past 17 going on 18 years of what I have discovered.

Works to eliminate old habits and old thinking, to create self love and self empowerment, to create documents that resonate to the center of the universe and the center of your soul.

Encouragement, love and power.

So that you feel founded on granite in every goal.

Even small ones.

Especially small ones.

So one of the things I've had to do and I share with you is this is a transition.

And when we're making transitions, we're easily yanked back into Old habits.

So I have a client who is in this process right now, and he's doing these things, and we talk weekly, and he tells me, you know, I do this, and I find myself without, you know, consistent effort.

I slip right back into the old.

And that's already a spectacular victory because it's noticing, wow, doing this new thing, it works.

And then something intervenes, and I slip back in the old, okay?

And then I have to put forth continuous effort.

Well, if you were going to the gym and you want to lose weight or gain muscle, it takes continuous effort.

You don't do it once and you're done.

You got to go back every day or three times a week or four times a week or whatever it is.

And you got to keep doing it for weeks and weeks and months and months until you get to the goal you set.

So this takes work, and it's joyful work.

It's fun because you're moving toward light and love and creativity and productivity, activity and cash and the ultimate life.

So it's worth every, every, every, every effort.

So what I've discovered is I have to remind myself of these things daily and hourly by reminding them.

What I mean is, I look at my declarations and I repeat them, and I.

Because I have them memorized.

And again, that took time to write them and memorize them, the phrases that are in there about who I am, I am, become complete inner peace.

I am light, and invite you home to yourself.

Me telling me who I am, I'm sharing these with you.

But this is how I talk to me.

Well, if I am light and I'm inviting you, whoever I'm with, home to themselves, that changes the frame of how I think.

Well, I'm light, and I invite you home to yourself.

Ooh, that winds me up.

Now, that may sound like silliness to you, then write your own.

And that's why I said the book Living with Purpose and Power is the absolute ultimate guide to the creation of both these kinds of practices and documents.

I call it a ptac.

Personal Truth and Commitment.

That guide my life, that energize it, and then give me the power to do this every day without fail, no matter what happens.

No matter what happens.

And that didn't happen overnight.

Just like, you know, getting to the podium in some muscle contest.

Working out doesn't happen overnight.

It happens over years, and it's worth every effort.

So get the book Living with Purpose and Power.

It's the best place to start.

It's the best guide in the world, and it will give you victory, but only if you get it, follow it and do it.

The other invitation I give you is to reach out.

Because this is what I do.

That's all I do.

I take my 18, 17 plus years experience helping people discover who they are and make choices that are consistent with that.

To love themselves, to lift themselves, to bless themselves, and to then learn to love and serve and bless everybody around them.

So as we wind this down, I've got two more things for you.

Please don't just hear this and say, yeah, I got to do that someday.

Someday never comes and nothing will happen.

Living with purpose and power.

Get that.

Reach out to me and let's talk about what you're doing, the progress you've made, what you're trying to create.

Remember, my mission is to help 300 million people this year realize that you can do this kind of stuff.

Create your ultimate life, cash, purpose, prosperity, joy, and love yourself and live every day in that kind of freedom and fun.

That's possible.

I would never have believed it, but I have created it, so I know it.

I know every step on the path.

I know every time I fell down on my face, every time I had to start over, every blind alley, every dead end, how to return back to the main stem, the trunk, get nourished, get focused and get it done.

I know those things.

I have the scars and the blood on the floor to prove it.

But that doesn't matter because that was for me.

What matters is you.

So I invite you to reach out and let's talk.

Let me serve you.

Get that book Living with Purpose and Power and then go to kellenflukermedia.com all these things I put out in the world to help you, help you love yourself, help you create what you want, help you be who you want.

That's all I do.

I can tell you this very moment, my heart is swelling with love for you.

You're a beautiful person, you're a capable person, you're a powerful person.

There's nothing you can't do.

But there's the phrase, there's nothing you can't do, but it doesn't happen.

If you or me, we just sit in the living room and watch Netflix or Apple TV or anything else.

It just doesn't work that way.

Growth is the product of the right actions.

Growth in everything.

Plants, animals, people, bank accounts, client base, everything.

Happiness, joy, satisfaction.

I promise you, nothing is out of your reach.

Nothing is out of my reach.

But only if you and I, or we together take the actions, walk the road that goes there.

If you're already living that kind of ultimate life, I'd love to meet you.

I love to share the stories of those folks who have already walked the road and have created that.

So I invite you to get a hold of me.

Let's talk and I can put you on my shows if you want to to share your message, your journey, your experiences and your learnings like I'm sharing mine.

I love helping people.

You share your message because the world needs as much encouragement, love, kindness and lift as we can give it.

Don't stop.

Don't doubt yourself.

Doubt your doubts.

Loving yourself, using your mirror when you and learning these practices is the fastest way and perhaps the only way to create your ultimate life right here right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you every episode episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more go to kellenflukegermedia.com if you want more free tools go here.

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