Lianne Castelino of WhereParentsTalk TV speaks to Paul Davis, a father of two, IT professional and an online and social networking safety educator about tips and advice for parents, students and educators on how to navigate the internet and social media safely. Podcast.

Takeaways:

• During the pandemic, the increase in device usage has led to heightened tension headaches and a need for regular screen breaks.
• Establishing rules around screen time is essential for maintaining a balance between education, leisure, and creativity in children's daily routines.
• Parents should actively communicate with their children about social media usage, emphasizing the importance of privacy and appropriate content sharing.
• The introduction of smartphones should ideally coincide with a discussion on responsibility, discipline, and the potential distractions they bring to a child's life.
• Cyberbullying is a significant concern for children of all ages, especially on social media platforms where inappropriate content can lead to serious consequences.
• Healthy communication with children about their online experiences can empower them to make safer choices regarding consent, relationships, and emotional health.

This podcast is for parents, guardians, teachers and caregivers to learn proven strategies and trusted tips on raising kids, teens and young adults based on science, evidenced and lived experience.

You’ll learn the latest on topics like managing bullying, consent, fostering healthy relationships, and the interconnectedness of mental, emotional and physical health.

Links referenced in this episode:

• whereparentstalk.com

Hello and welcome to Where Parents Talk tv.

My name is Leanne Castellino.

Our guest today is a father of two, a 16 year old and a 19 year old.

He spent almost 30 years working in IT and the last nine years he's been focused on social networking safety.

Paul Davis is an online and social media safety educator.

Welcome, Paul.

Thank you for having me.

Great to be here today.

Well, and I wanted to start with the current climate.

Here we are, we're into seven months of being in a pandemic.

What has just that been like for somebody who spends their time in this space?

Are you asking about me speaking or about the child online, you speaking?

It's been a journey I never ever expected.

As an individual who has multiple screens, who bleeds technology, I have never been in front of a screen more than I have since the past seven months.

I'm getting a ton of tension headaches.

I find myself doing a lot more in terms of screen breaks, walking the dog, just taking drives to get fresh air.

Because between all the zoom presentations now in classrooms to students or and to parents, it takes its toll on you.

And I grew up with tech again, screens everywhere in my home, but I never allow a screen to dominate my life.

But of course, when it comes to business and I have to get onto a zoom call, I have to get onto a Zoom call and of course educate.

But I was always used to Monday to Friday walking into a school, speaking once, maybe twice to students, taking a long afternoon break, coming back in the evening speaking 90 minutes to parents.

And in that afternoon break is where I would open up a laptop and I would do my homework, catch up on emails, do some research, glance at my phone occasionally.

So if I were on my screen, maximum two hours a day, that was a lot.

With all the screens I have now, I'm finding I'm on screens probably 5ish hours per day.

And it's taken its toll on me.

But I do take my breaks.

I'm glad that I am able to communicate, but I certainly miss being in front of humanity because nothing replaces me.

Being in front of an audience where I can gauge their body language, I can see their facial expressions.

As I stated earlier as we were talking, I just flew back from Calgary where I delivered seven presentations in like 72 hours.

To be in front of an audience and to see their expressions was amazing because that helps me understand the flow of the presentation.

When I deliver knowledge on a screen, I'm still communicating, I can't gauge the audience.

And that is a key component to making Your presentation a successful.

So I find all of that very interesting.

Right.

The fact that you're so candid about saying that.

You know what, even for me as an IT person, this is what I love to do.

It's my passion.

It's a lot.

So what can you say to parents in terms of, like, what are you seeing happening during this pandemic as it relates to children and the time that they are spending on social media and, you know, smartphones and other devices?

So I have a rule about screen time, which is we need to obviously restrict it and manage it during the day, and it's dependent on the age of your child.

Now, of course, every study on screen time is inconclusive.

My message has always been one hour before bed, no screens.

That's a study I read, which has to do with sleep patterns, which I subscribe to.

And I'm a guy who needs sleep.

Number two, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

No screens at the table.

We will respect each other, we will talk to each other, we will engage each other because our kids are, are begging us for that attention.

I then tell parents, when your child is done or they're home from school and they've done their chores or homework, give them a screen.

If your child is on their screen eight, nine hours a day, you don't need an expert to tell you, you know, we're going down a path where we're going to need some help later on.

If your child's on their device and they break up their day and they manage it between education for school, what I call mindless, which is allow them to use their screen to chat with their friends, watch your favorite show, play a game.

And then the third component of my strategy is use a screen to build something to create something, meaning build your own website, get into computer programming, otherwise known as coding.

Create the next great game, create the next great app, get into robotics.

So now you're taking something from your head and you're making it happen on the screen.

So I divide a screen day into three.

Education, mindless, and then creation between all those screen time.

A lot of times, take breaks, walk the dog, play with your friends, help family, make dinner, clean up, engage, play, do something away from a screen.

Those rules are important.

But now what we're doing is we're kind of bending the rules because they're at home.

And if they're going to bend the rules, we need to manage it.

Meaning if we're going to allow a lot, three to four hours a day, hour and a half for one hour, and A half for the second, third, hour and a half for the third, third.

Excellent.

Make sure it's broken up with a lot of physical activity, hydration, good sleep, and of course, respect if the child must.

And the golden rule of technology is, or for kids anyways, no screens in a bedroom like that is my golden rule.

If they need their screen because of lack of space in the house and they're going to use their computer in their bedroom, the screen for this exception, while we are getting through Covid will be facing the door.

The door will be completely open.

The child's back will be to the door.

When they are done their work, they close the laptop, they take it out, and now the screen is out of the room again.

But that is the only time we'll bend the rule to allow the screen is.

So what's happening with COVID is we're allowing a little bit more screen time.

We're kind of making excuses.

Get to your bedroom and have quiet.

We still have to maintain the rules because remember, nothing has changed with a child and curiosity and the Internet connection, but the time that they're online has increased.

So tons to drill down into.

And what you just said there, let's sort of piecemeal it out.

First of all, what you described is very strategic in terms of the way that you can divide up the screen exposure in the day.

What age should that start at?

And what advice can you give to parents on their approach in that area?

Okay.

For a child to have a screen, we really don't have a defined age.

Parents are putting iPads in front of children as young as 6 months of age just to occupy them all at the mall, at a food court.

I've seen it.

It's embarrassing.

When they are old enough to use a screen for the purposes of education, we need to really implement the screen time right away.

So a screen can be used as a television in terms of watching a cartoon, but not for five hours a day, just to keep the child quiet.

As soon as we put a screen in front of a child is when we start implementing an amount of time.

Now, again, all the studies are inconclusive, which about how much time that should be.

But I would suggest an old study from the Canadian Pediatric Society stated if your child's upwards of 10 years of age, approximately two and a half hours, I'll agree with that.

Because if you look at the two and a half hours, that has to do with a television, a phone, a computer monitor.

So depending on the age of your child, you know, think about what the Appropriate time is.

But also remember that they're a child.

So should someone in grade one, two or three be in front of a screen all day?

Well, absolutely not.

Now because of virtual learning, distance learning, they're getting more of that screen time because they're connecting with their teachers.

At the end of the day, that should be limited as well because most of these kids don't even know how to write their name at that age.

But now we're asking them to get online, look at a keyboard, look at a screen.

Their minds aren't kind of ready for that yet.

So I would limit the screen time for that age group.

And obviously more physical activity, more building, more writing.

That's me as a tech guy saying it.

That's because I know they're not quite ready for the keyboard yet.

And the interaction with the, you know, a little camera on a screen and then looking at people on the screen in their classroom.

So I would reduce that screen time tremendously.

What in your mind is the appropriate age for a child to have a smartphone?

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked that question there that this is going to be an opinion.

And I'm a guy who likes to deliver a lot of facts in my presentations.

But my opinion on this has always been right around middle to the end of grade eight.

And the reason is this.

There's absolutely zero need for a smartphone upwards of grade 6, grade 7.

Parents like to push the envelope when they're in middle of grade eight, leaving grade eight now they've got the summer off because they're going to high school, grade nine.

I believe there are tremendous benefits to having a smartphone in high school, of course, with discipline, not allowing it to distract you.

But the fact is in children in elementary school, they lack discipline.

So now you put a smartphone in a child's hand.

And by the way, I've educated children as young as grade three.

They have smartphones.

Parents have told me it's younger.

My stats will tell you because of what I've educated, of whom I've educated, because I get stats.

Grade 3, it's a distraction, it's a pacifier.

And it's parents way of saying I need to be in touch with you whenever I want to text you.

So the phone has clearly been proven to be a distraction in a classroom.

It's not a debate.

Now there was a theory five years ago, 21st century education, they're going to need this later on when they grow up.

All those theories have been thrown out the window.

It has been proven to Be a distraction.

Am I against a technological tool in a classroom to educate a child?

Of course not.

So, you know, ideal situation, Chromebook.

Not that I promote Google or Chromebooks, but it's cost effective.

Plus, a lot of schools have Google classroom, bring the Chromebook into the classroom.

There are no apps on the Chromebook because it's going to be educational only.

They'll be used for education.

They'll put it away, they'll follow instruction, but they won't be distracted by the device that has this blinking blue light going off every five seconds because of a text message or a social media notification or a call from mommy and daddy saying, are you okay?

Are you having a good day?

So in school, they need the foundation of education.

The phone is a distraction.

Now parents say, well, I need to communicate with my child.

They walk to and from school, okay, go and buy them a flip phone.

They're available on Amazon.

They're $70 dual SIM, unlocked, delivered to your door, and it costs you $15 a month on pay as you go plan.

Now, your child can walk to and from school.

They're ready to dial 911 in case of that emergency.

Oh, and they can text you.

It's a bit painstaking, but they actually can text you.

Now, the child has the communication tool you so wanted them to have, but they're not gonna be distracted during the day.

Now, the only argument against that is that if your child has a medical condition where there are apps that will benefit them, and that I will never argue against.

But if we're gonna argue, you know, grade six smartphone, in case emergency, no, it's a distraction tool.

So around grade 8, but definitely high school, with discipline, of course, I think is a good time.

What do you say to parents who.

Okay, let me backtrack a bit.

When a parent decides that this is the age that my child is going to have a smartphone, what ideally should that handing of the smartphone to that child be accompanied with?

And by.

A lot of parents subscribe to cell phone agreements, cell phone contracts.

I've never had one with my daughters.

I'll be honest with you.

I stated to them very clearly what my objectives were.

And I told them very clearly, if you violate the terms of service of my rules of you using my phone, which is unknown to you, you will lose it.

I'm just old school like that.

The phone is a privilege.

It's not a right.

I remind every student I speak to every day your parents made the financial transaction for that device.

They pay the bill every month.

They sign the contract Again, the seller network.

Now, I will also say, oh, by the way, if you gave your parents money for the phone, very responsible of you.

If you pay them every month for the phone, very responsible of you, except your parents are making the transaction.

So during a police investigation, the police investigate the owner of the phone before they investigate the user of the phone.

So I tell them, that phone is a privilege, it's not a right.

It's owned by your parents.

And how you use that device not only impacts you, it impacts them.

So, parents, if you feel comfortable in putting a contract together, hit me up on Facebook.

I will send you a word file created by a lawyer who's a mother in Toronto who had a contract made up for her child.

Excellent.

If you subscribe to that, and here's the best part, you make them acknowledge it.

So then if they violate the rules that you and your child will put in place together, let them contribute to it, then they know what the consequences are.

It's a.

It's a brilliant strategy.

That is one strategy.

Or you go the old school strategy, which was mine, which is you lay out the rules and expect them to listen to it.

But it should be noted that there are expectations to using that device because it is on loan to them and it's a legal entity of the parents.

Let me ask you, how have you gone about enforcing, managing all of these things in your own household with your own daughters?

At the beginning, because they were children, they never got phones like my strategy was, which was until the end of grade eight in the beginning, when they had devices connected to Internet because they were learning, they were growing up.

I had some software in place where I could protect in terms of which websites they could or could not visit when they.

And when they can get disconnected from the Internet.

Like all that was in place.

But my message was primarily conversational, meaning, look, you all know who I am, my daughter say, you know what I've dedicated my life to.

And by the way, you know what I do now professionally.

And so what I'm instilling in you is because I care about you, but you need to know that I share this with other kids.

And so if you go and violate what I know to be factually effective in terms of protecting you, now, it kind of makes me look.

So they had this unfair pressure on them to make sure they obviously utilize the technology properly and they respected the rules.

Having said that, as a cyber dad, I have the power to turn off devices and kill data, everything at a click of a button.

I don't do that it's about conversation.

So it was about a lot of dinner conversation, respect, not only for me, for mom, and understanding that the rules in place was because we love them, not because we take away their fun.

So when to say enforce?

I've never honestly had to enforce it.

Have they had their devices taken away?

Of course.

Their kids.

Everybody's gonna make some poor choices.

I don't call them mistakes because everything you do online is a choice.

We're gonna make some poor choices.

And there are consequences of that.

And then we had conversation, but there was also consequences of no technology.

And then we understood why.

Yeah, well, listen, that sounds like the ideal state.

But a lot of parents obviously don't have the expertise you do.

And I think you know a lot of parents and I put myself in that category as well.

It's exhausting to enforce.

It is.

But we are parents and that is our job.

Yep.

You know, and I look back at my grandmother who was partially responsible for bringing me up when we moved to Canada, old school, worked her butt off.

She never complained about being tired about this is exhausting about, you're too much work for me.

Go away, leave me alone.

She went to bed tired, knowing that I was fed, I was clothed, I got to school, I came back, took care of me until mom got home.

Like there was no complaining.

And if you look back now and if we.

I had to have a conversation with her.

It was a pleasure for them.

We need to do.

Look, we don't.

We empower these kids with this technology.

So it is our responsibility to make sure they're safe from that technology.

You're not going to give your child the keys to the car and say, see you later.

I trust you.

No, you're going to invest time.

In fact, last night, I invested almost 30 minutes last evening with my now 16 year old daughter to make sure she has the mechanics right for driving a car.

And I invested that time.

Could I have been doing something else?

Of course.

But it was my pleasure to get there and watch her drive the car and see her facial expressions and see how she responds.

That's our job.

But it's a pleasure and it is work.

Parenting is work and some of us have it more difficult than others.

I completely respect that.

But at the end of the day, our kids are number one.

Right.

So this technology which we empower them with is partial.

Partial of we need to take care of them with that technology.

And that means following the rules.

And so, you know, social media, for example, a lot of parents say, I don't understand it.

Well, let me help you out.

You have an 11 year old on TikTok.

Here's an idea, get rid of it.

They're not 13, you know, parents violate these rules and put their kids on social media much younger than they're allowed to be on there.

And now they're asking for help.

So if you want to talk about added burden in the household, a kid goes online at a young age on a platform they're not allowed to be on.

They get bullied, harassed, insulted or exposed to sexual content.

Now there's drama.

Now more investment of time helping the child versus that child could have been a child playing outside with their friends or online chatting with their friends on a text messaging system, you know, permitted by parents and no drama.

And then the parent wouldn't have to invest at 5, 6, 7 hours to try and resolve that one little problem that occurred in a platform they weren't allowed to be on.

So we can manage this time if we follow some simple rules of technology.

Let me ask you this, and I want to get a little deeper into what you just described.

I talk about 8 to 12 year olds, that age group of children, what are things in terms of online behaviors that that age group of children could find themselves involved in and that parents need to be aware of?

They only will find themselves involved in anything troublesome if they are on platforms they're not allowed to be on.

If your child is playing an age appropriate game, Minecraft, for example, and they have a private Minecraft server, they're playing with their real human friends.

They're gonna build together, they're gonna chat with each other because they're friends.

They're gonna accomplish projects and say, look what we did as a team.

They're gonna feel amazing if they play an age inappropriate game, something rated M17.

Violence, blood, gore and appropriate language.

They play online with complete strangers, there's gonna be trouble.

If your child is on social media and they're under 13 years of age, you've now put them in a position to experience cyberbullying, the number one way it occurs.

Sexuality, racism, violence, vulgarity.

So if you want peace of mind under the age of 13, make sure that the time online is doing things like creating their own websites, coding, app development, robotics, playing educational games for example, like Minecraft, sometimes even Roblox, and removing themselves from platforms they're not allowed to be on.

And then I've solved a massive problem.

In fact, my directive to students in my grade 4, 5, 6 presentation is make sure you talk to your parents about removing yourself off the platforms you're not allowed to be on.

Why would, why do parents not knowingly, well, knowingly allow their child on a platform that they.

Parents don't very well understand without understanding the terms of Service, which state 13 years of age, read how the product is being used and how it manipulates individuals.

And then when something happens, they beg for help.

Which parents?

The parents need to ask for help.

But if they would have read the terms of service, they would have done their homework on the platform.

They would have realized, oh yeah, you know what, not a good idea.

How about you wait till you're 13.

And by the way, if you actually saw Paul Davis, there's a thousand other things you could do online.

Safe, educational, fun, entertaining.

So for those kids upwards of 13 years of age, there's so much they can do without falling to the trap of getting hurt.

Okay, let's talk about that age group next.

12 to 15 or 13 to 15.

What are some of the red flags to watch out for if you're a parent?

Well, number one, they're definitely going to be on social media.

So the first rule is make sure that account is private.

Online privacy is a myth.

It's never existed, they never will.

Can you protect your account to the best of your ability?

1,000%.

Rule number one, strong password.

Rule number two, make sure everyone you accept as a follower, friend you actually know.

Not people you think you know.

You kind of know you met at the park or you played soccer against just once and you think you know them.

Real human contacts.

Number three, post a picture with the knowledge that everyone in the world has access to it.

Post a picture that your grandmother would have been proud of.

I have no issues.

Why?

Because if that picture does get leaked out, it's screen captured, it shared.

Be proud of it.

When people have private accounts with a select group of followers or quote friends, they believe they can say and do anything, yet they don't know, especially in 12 to, sorry, 13 to 15 years of age, that the likelihood that half those people that are following them won't be in touch with them in ten years from now.

But they do have access to what they posted, what they chatted about.

There could be screenshots, it could be videos which could recirculate later on.

So we always go in there with the knowledge of what we post can be leaked out in some capacity or another when you use it wisely, appropriately.

I'm all for social media.

When they are the right age, with those parameters in place, which is privacy, real human Contacts and be respectful of what you post.

Moving on to the age group, the 15 to 18 years old now we're talking about, obviously established on social, many of them, cyberbullying could be a thing.

What else in that age group should we be aware of as parents?

Well, cyberbullying starts the second you have an online platform.

So to say it starts at that age, it starts way younger.

If an 8 year old is on Instagram, I can't tell you how many issues I've dealt with.

Eight, nine, ten years of age.

Social media, cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying starts the moment you have the ability to be online and someone has the ability to connect with you.

So we don't know what the age of dominance, of bullying is.

We know when it starts 15 plus in high, obviously high school, obviously we're subjected to a lot more quote, unquote drama.

Number two, bullying has always been there.

Number three, we get a lot more courageous in what we say because we believe we understand the technology better.

The one thing I love speaking about the grade 7 12s, I call them presentation fact versus fiction is I love to break down how technology works.

And so my audience doesn't hear me threatening them or scaring them.

They hear me delivering nothing but facts.

And so when I do a presentation, for example, to a corporate client, I always say to them, the words no and do not are the most positive things you will hear.

Because if you go against it, you'll understand that you made a poor choice.

You were told no based on evidence and facts.

You went against it.

Now you're begging for help.

Well, kids love facts because a lot of them will sit there and say, all right, I thought that was no, wait a minute, Snapchat images don't delete anymore.

He showed me why.

Okay, you know what?

I got to rethink my strategy in terms of how I use this so they respect that.

Will I get through everyone?

Of course not.

Some are in complete denial.

But so long as I can get through them, I will prevent the pain of sending inappropriate images, of bullying, of threatening, of making poor choices at 2 o'clock in the morning because their device shouldn't be on and saying something that they will regret the next day.

So I believe in instilling the facts.

They will make wiser choices because again, they become more cavalier at that age.

But then there's also maturity thing.

I've seen this tons of time where some of them say, wow, I really messed up as a kid.

But now at 16, 17, I know better.

I'M going to start changing my way.

So positivity and it's also time for branding.

You know, if they're going to be an athlete, a musician, an artist.

Now, I talked about having a private account, but also having a public account that expresses their artistic nature or them as an athlete or anything they love to do because they want the world to see that about them.

But I always maintain your private life as private and I really focus between 13 and 18.

Maintain as much privacy as you can online.

Many parents who watch this are going to be stunned by some of the things that you've said.

Maybe they haven't done most of the things you've said in terms of laying that solid foundation for their children with social media and with smartphones.

Is there a way for them to reel it back in if, let's say they're down this road because a lot of parents struggle.

We haven't even talked about mental wellness issues either.

But what advice could you give to parents in that category?

I would suggest to you that upwards of 15 years of age, you can roll it back, you can correct it, be a parent, put your foot down, it's in your delivery.

I will suggest to you that 16, 17, you're gonna have a hard time rolling it back.

Can you still enforce rules?

Of course you can, you're a parent.

Some parents are afraid when they're 16, 17, I believe, and this is weird for me because when I present it's always about facts.

And here I'm giving a lot of my beliefs, but I believe it's all about conversation.

So hey, 16 year old, I learned a lot today.

I saw this guy for an hour and a half at a presentation.

I kind of messed up on a few things.

I need to talk to you.

And now the child will immediately say, oh, mom, he was exaggerating.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

Don't worry about it, I got it all.

No, no, no.

We're going to have a conversation and I want you to continue having the conversation.

So number one new rule, get that phone away from the dinner table.

It's disrespectful.

Start off with some simple, simple rules.

But more importantly, conversation about self respect, about being amazing online.

Remember that everything you post, someone can have access to, they can search it and it can resurface in 10 years from now.

Have these conversations where they will, it'll just, you'll implant a bug in their head.

But to go to a 17 year old and take away their phone and lock down it's not going to happen.

There'll be a revolt and it could be devastating.

And I tell parents when they leave my presentation, apply the 24 hour rule.

Do nothing when you get home tonight.

You're too emotional right now.

I need you to process, I need you to write down your new rules and strategies moving forward.

And if Your child is 13, 14, 15, of course you can reverse it.

And yeah, there'll be an, there'll be an adjustment period, meaning they're not going to be happy for a while.

That's okay.

They're still a kid.

It's still your phone.

That's a loan to them.

It's your home Internet access.

Shut that down if you have to.

You can do all this.

But I like the approach of conversation with the knowledge you have because remember, they're going to tell you that everything that they heard was a lie and that that person has no idea what he's speaking about because it challenges their comfort level, their comfort zone.

Right.

And so my objective is to make sure they understand you know a lot, probably as much as your child does.

And now you're going to challenge them.

Have it conversational.

The most important advice I can give to someone and there'll be pushback, be prepared for that.

So now you need to have your.

Parenting skills kick in as we sort of close this out.

I didn't.

I do want to ask you because you've talked about facts and the fact that you use facts and evidence based information in your talks, which incidentally you crisscross North America and certainly digitally you're crisscrossing the Internet with all of your talks and things.

But what would you say are the top three facts in your mind about online social media safety that you would want parents to keep in mind?

You can never keep a person safe on social media.

You can only reduce the ability for anything to happen online.

Can you prevent a lot of what is happening out there?

Absolutely.

So GOLDEN Rule number one, respect the rules.

If it states you must be 13, stop breaking that rule because your child made you feel guilty that everyone in their class has something that they don't.

Stay firm, keep to the rules and understand that they're there to keep you safe, not to take away your fun.

So fact number one, respect the rules.

You have reduced the ability for child to be bullied, hurt, offended, insulted or sexually approached.

That's a fact.

Remove them off the platform can be effective.

Number two, make sure you do not use technology as a pacifier for your child.

Make sure you understand what you put in their hands.

So before you download the next app, research it, understand it, do your homework on it.

If you don't like it, have a conversation.

If you still don't get it, reach out to people like me and say, paul, what's your opinion on this app?

I give you the positives and negatives and you'll understand how the app is used and when you are proven app what we spoke about earlier.

Privacy, private account, real human contacts, respectful content that is posted on there.

It is incredibly, incredibly important because they need to know that online privacy is a myth and that the word delete is a myth.

Most importantly, if you can see behind me, the Internet never forgets.

And because the Internet never forgets, it's not very forgiving.

It doesn't care that you're hurt, upset, crying, that you're angry.

It will always remind you, we know what you did and we can remind you when you're least expecting it.

So when you have it, understand the facts of technology.

Delete's a myth, dear, and never forgets the third thing.

And this will be a difficult conversation for some parents, but it's something that I pride myself on and I've helped many parents with it and I've saved many, many kids with remember that as a kid, you and I, depending on our ages, we start exploring sexuality, natural part of humanity.

And I've never, ever challenged a child sexuality ever.

But I give them a very clear directive in high school.

Sexuality, social media and smartphones do not mix.

The amount of individuals that I've had to assist because of pain as a result of images out there, revenge, pornography, images being used against them.

I'm a cyber guy.

I was never, I never got into education to sit down at a Starbucks and watch a mother cry in front of me as I'm helping her because of what her child did.

Sitting next to a father, clenching his fist because he wants to hurt someone because of what happened to their child or being in a phone call and listening because parent is explaining what happened.

I will always, always be there.

I can't tell you how many times I've been there.

I don't want to.

I want to make sure that child never gets hurt.

The facts state when an image is out there, you will never get it back.

You will never know who will see it.

You will never know when it will resurface later on in your life to impact you.

I do not challenge a child's sexuality, but I make it very clear.

Sexuality is a human quality.

You take it online, it's part of the world's business and you can't stop it.

So the conversation with these teens is very simple.

Simply this.

Sexuality, social media and smartphones do not mix.

Substantiated on how technology works.

Not on my values and my morals or my beliefs.

They have no business in my presentations.

But when I speak to kids, it's interesting.

We're talking about three facts.

The first 40 minutes of my presentation to grade 7 12s is all facts.

And when I lead into the slide about sexuality, social media, smartphones, the directive is based on those facts.

And now it becomes an emotional thing.

And that is where sometimes you can see some responses of people being uncomfortable because they didn't understand how tech work.

It took me to come in to explain it.

So now that phrase of sexuality, social media, smartphones don't mix really, really resonates.

So if we can follow those three things, honestly, technology is wonderful.

It's amazing.

It's empowering.

You and I are here today because, well, first we met each other at a presentation, but then we connected through the power of social media.

You connected through social media for the interview.

You sent me a link for the interview.

Zoom is connecting us.

Technology is wonderful when you understand it and use it appropriately.

I don't even know how to thank you for all the information you just provided.

It is just an encyclopedia of important information that parents are going to want to hear.

Paul Davis, online and social media safety expert, thank you so much for your time.

It's been my pleasure.

And you know, if we want to do part two of this, there's so much more we can talk about and it's my pleasure.

Reach out anytime.

Thank you.