Have you ever been unfairly judged by someone who didn’t know the full story? Have their words wounded you in a place you were already trying so hard to heal?

In this powerful episode, Nina Pajonas shares a heartfelt conversation with a sister in Christ who was deeply hurt by harsh judgment—and reflects on the truth the Holy Spirit revealed to her: “Be glad you’re not where they are.”

Through personal stories, Scripture (like Matthew 7:1–2 and Matthew 16:24), and honest reflection, this episode encourages you to:

🦋 Shake off harmful labels and assumptions

🦋 Heal from the pain of being misunderstood—even by fellow believers

🦋 Seek God’s validation over man’s approval

🦋 Remember who you are and whose you are

💜 Need healing from judgment or rejection? Let this episode remind you:

Only Jesus can judge. And He calls you beloved.

If today’s message spoke to you, please share it with a friend and follow Born to be a Butterfly so you never miss an episode. 

📖 Ready to dive deeper into healing and transformation? Get my book, From Broken to Butterfly, on Amazon today! 

📩 If you have any questions or want to connect, send me a DM on Instagram at Born To Be A Butterfly or email me at ninapajonas@gmail.com. I love hearing from you! 

Remember, the Lord can turn your wounds into wings—you were Born to be a Butterfly! 🦋

Hello, my sister in Christ.

I hope you're having a beautiful and blessed day. And yes, I am starting the episode in a different way.

I'm so excited for this episode because the Lord just had so much to say.

I pray that it empowers you,

educates you, and equips you,

because I believe that's exactly what the Lord wants it to do.

Earlier this week,

I spoke to a sister in Christ who was very upset because she was judged harshly by someone who didn't know all the facts about a particular situation in her life.

The man spoke with an authority that he did not possess and with knowledge he did not have.

She and I spoke about this hurtful situation at length,

and it prompted me to share a message with her that I received from the Holy Spirit years ago.

Be glad you're not where they are.

And what Holy Spirit was trying to tell me was that be happy that you're not emotionally and spiritually in that place,

because that place is a horrible place.

It's cruel to be intentionally hurtful.

And that's what my sister in Christ went through.

It wasn't his place to play judge and jury.

He's not the Lord of her life.

Jesus is.

And only Jesus gets to convict, refine and lead her as well as the rest of his children.

This stirred something in me because I've been there.

We've all been there.

And a blanket apology after the damage is done doesn't always heal the wound.

Words can cut deep and assumptions can crush a spirit that's already fighting to survive.

Welcome to Born to Be a Butterfly,

where we embrace healing and growth in Christ so that we can experience true transformation.

My name is Nina Bijones, and I pray that today's episode ministers to you.

If someone is doing that to you,

if they are judging you,

you do not have to hold their offenses close to your heart.

You don't have to let their hurtful words weigh down your soul.

You don't have to accept their view of you as your identity.

However,

we're all human.

So if you feel wounded by their words and you start to doubt yourself,

please go to God.

Get into the Word,

go to the secret place and pray.

Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of who you are and most importantly,

of whose you are.

Trust me.

If you ask him to remind you,

he will.

You must know and believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are deeply loved,

beautifully made and fully known by your Heavenly Father.

If someone tries to define you by your past or even by your present,

they are echoing the Voice of the enemy,

not the voice of God.

The Holy Spirit is at work within you.

It's at work within all of us.

Sanctification is a process.

No one has the right to determine your worth or your identity.

Only Jesus can.

And now I want to speak to my sisters who are listening,

who have felt misunderstood,

misjudged,

or mischaracterized.

Please hear me when I say this.

I feel your pain.

It is not right that they did that to you, and I'm so sorry that they hurt you if that person or those people don't follow Christ.

It's not a great display of human decency,

to say the least.

And if you encounter believers who are being self righteous and sanctimonious,

it's not a good demonstration of faith.

Either way,

it is hurtful and harmful. And I am so sorry that you've gone through it.

I hate to say this,

but sometimes the harshest judgment we receive can come from other Christians.

Although they may mean well,

both they and we must remember,

the only one who gets to judge us is Jesus.

Originally, this episode was going to be about external validation.

But as I prayed, this message came through much stronger.

Because when people,

especially believers,

pass judgment on your life,

your walk, your or your choices,

it shakes something in you.

It can lead you to question your identity in Christ. And that is dangerous because no one defines you but Christ.

We've all gone through this.

It's unfortunate that this happens in this broken world that we live in as well as the body of Christ.

People make assumptions and speak as though they know the truth when they often don't have a clue.

They speak into situations as if they know what you should have done or what the Bible says you should have done.

But do you know what else the Bible says?

Do not judge,

or you too will be judged.

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.

And with the measure you use,

it will be measured to you.

That's Matthew 7,

verses 1 through 2.

NIV what's hard but necessary to admit is that many of us also have stood in the shoes of the one doing the judging.

Maybe not out of cruelty,

but out of misunderstanding.

And just as we need grace,

we also need to learn to offer it.

I know I've done it.

I remember a time a few years ago, as a matter of fact, when I said,

I don't know what that woman was thinking.

And the Holy Spirit said to me,

you're right,

you don't know.

And that was my check.

That was my reminder.

I don't know.

I don't know anything about her. I don't know anything about her story,

and I shouldn't act like I do.

If we don't understand someone's behavior or if we disagree with their decisions,

the right response is to approach them with love,

with humility,

with care and compassion.

We never have the right to serve them shame or hand them harsh criticism.

Because when we step into judgment,

especially when with spiritual pride we cross a line,

we tread into territory that does not belong to us.

Now let's head over to the word.

whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

We have no right to criticize the way somebody else is carrying their cross when they are walking with the Lord.

We don't know the weight of somebody else's cross.

We don't know how many nails have been driven into it.

We don't know how many years they've carried it or how their heart aches from the weight.

The way somebody else carries their cross may look messy or crooked to us,

but to the Lord it might look perfect because they're doing the best they can with what they know.

As they continue walking, they will be further transformed and sanctified by the Holy Spirit.

They will learn to walk with more strength,

patience,

humility,

discipline, and kindness.

Whatever needs to be worked on will be taken care of by Christ as they continue on their path with Him.

And the same process applies to us.

We are all in a constant state of evolution.

Because none of us is perfect,

it bears repeating.

So I'll repeat it.

Only Jesus can judge.

He is the teacher.

We are the students.

And the students don't get to grade the test.

Praise be to God for giving us the divine gift of the Holy Spirit.

He convicts us,

comforts us,

guides us, and shapes us.

We will never bear the image of Christ perfectly,

but every day the Holy Spirit is transforming us to bear it more beautifully.

And that brings us full circle to what the Lord told me in cannot walk in victory if you are seeking external validation.

External validation keeps us enslaved to opinion.

It keeps us in performance mode.

It keeps us disconnected from God's truth.

If we live for people's approval,

we will die from their rejection.

Validation from the world is fleeting,

but God's love is eternal.

We must remember that we are not living for the world.

We are living for the Lord.

And when this life ends,

we won't be standing before man.

We'll be standing before our Savior.

He is our shepherd.

We are his sheep.

His voice is the only one that we need to know well and the only one that we need to listen to.

And now I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Number one,

whose voice have you been allowing to define your worth?

And how can you begin tuning into God's voice above all others?

Number two,

have you ever judged someone without knowing their full story?

What would it look like to replace that judgment with compassion?

And I'm going to add on to this after you reflect on that question.

If you do recall a time that you passed judgment on somebody when you shouldn't have,

please go to them,

speak to them about it,

and ask for forgiveness.

They deserve to know that you didn't know better at the time and that you do now.

They deserve to know and that you're so sorry that you did that to them.

Just as you've been hurt and you want an apology,

so do other people.

We must always remember that we are to treat others the way we want to be treated. That is biblical.

We all make mistakes.

We all fall short of the glory of God every single day one of us.

No one gets it right all the time. No one is perfect.

The only one who walked this world in a perfect way was Jesus.

That's why he's our Savior.

That's why he's our Lord.

So we can't condemn ourselves when we get it wrong. But we do have to try to get it right.

We only learn to do better when we know better.

So if you know where you faltered before,

and you did that to a friend or a sister in Christ, or a brother in Christ, or a family member,

just sit down and speak to them earnestly from your heart and tell them that you're sorry.

An apology goes a long way as long as our actions change.

And if you never get that apology from the person or the people that did those things to you,

please know that I'm sorry that they did that.

I know I said that earlier in the episode, but I really can't say that enough.

The worst part of pain is when you don't feel seen or you don't feel heard.

I know what that's like.

I know what it feels like to suffer in silence and to have no one come to you and say,

I can't believe that happened to you.

I can't believe they did that to you.

I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I'm so sorry that your heart is breaking into a million pieces. I'm so sorry it's hard to get up in the morning.

I'm so sorry it hurts when you walk in the world because somebody hurt you that badly.

I'm sorry that when they hurt you that badly, it made you question your own identity.

You didn't deserve it.

And I'm here for you, sister.

I really am.

If you're carrying a pain that you have not talked to somebody about,

please email me.

Please reach out to me.

I don't know who needs to hear this right now. I just feel like somebody does. And I'm telling you, you are not alone.

I will be there for you.

Look for my email address in the episode description.

It is there. It should be a link.

You should be able to copy it and paste it. Or you should be able to click on it and open up an email.

Do not hesitate.

And if you would prefer to have me just address a problem that you're having in an episode, you can do that too.

You can write to me and give me a topic that you want me to discuss and I will bring it to the Lord,

I will pray on it and I will deliver whatever message I receive from Him.

Okay,

now that I've gotten that out of my system and I apologize, but the Holy Spirit moved and he needed me and wanted me to say that.

Evidently he must feel that somebody out there needs to talk.

And now I think it's a great time for us to pray.

Heavenly Father,

thank you for being the only true judge of our hearts.

Thank you for reminding us that our identity is found in you and not in the opinions of others.

Lord, we ask for forgiveness for the times that we've passed judgment on others and the times where we've accepted false judgments spoken over us.

Please break every chain of external validation that keeps us from walking in your truth.

Heal the places in us that have been wounded by condemnation and teach us how to walk in love,

discernment,

and grace.

Holy Spirit, speak louder than the voices around us.

Guide us to live for your approval alone.

Help us to forgive those who have hurt us and to release them into your hands.

Please remind us daily that we are loved,

chosen,

and called by you.

In the most holy and powerful name of Jesus,

I pray.

Amen.

If today's message spoke to you,

please share it with a friend and don't forget to follow Born to be a Butterfly so you never miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about my journey of healing and transformation,

you can pick up my book From Broken to Butterfly on Amazon.

If you have any questions or want to connect as I said earlier.

Send me a DM on Instagram @ Born to be a Butterfly.

Or you can email me at @ninapajonas@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.

Remember,

the Lord can turn your wounds into wings.

You were born to be a butterfly.