Do you know what a bow and arrow has to do with parenting? Ha! Stop it! Not what you may think.

Do you consider yourself an architect? Think again?

Have you heard of Self-LED Discipline? Probably not. But, I promise you want this in your life for you and your family!

About the Host:

Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her ride-or-die passion is her work as a Family Life Coach & Mentor. 

Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and not some not so great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live. 

Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world. 

She helps families build Self-Led Discipline™ & Leadership Into their homes, sets their children up for a wildly successful life on their terms, and elevates the family experience with big joy, palpable peace, and everyday growth!

With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, find answers, and a path forward.

(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior and Psychology. ) 

LINKS:

Family Success Vault- https://www.nellieharden.com/vault

Website- https://www.nellieharden.com

Online Community- https://www.facebook.com/groups/the6570project

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/nellieharden/   

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/nellie.harden/

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Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground for parents who want to raise their kids with intention, strength and joy. Come and hear all the discussions, get all the tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into the real challenges and reason kids today how to show up as parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the family and individuals of the world. My name is mellie harden, big city girl turns small towns sipping iced tea on the front porch Mama, who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and minds of families by helping them build self flood discipline and leadership that elevates the family experience. And sets the kids up with a rock solid foundation, they can launch their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570 family project. Let's go.

Hello, everyone. I hope you're all having a great day today. And hopefully everything is beautiful in your neck of the world. I wanted to come today and really give some definitions. You know, I titled this one, the 6570 meets Webster, because I wanted to give some definitions here. There's some things that I often say that I wanted to give some clarity on in case I say them and you're like what? So first of all, I the name of this podcast is the 6570 family project podcast, right? And so what does that mean? What is 6570? Well, I alluded to it in our first episode, but it is the number of days that are in 18 years now are kids out on their 18th birthday? Well, no. But in general, that's about how much time we have with them at home. And that's the time that before they're given that adult distinction. In I would think almost everywhere in the world. I definitely know the states and many other countries as well. But 18 years is 6570 days. So the 6570 Now, that's how many days we have. And this is our training ground, I really believe that this 6570 training ground is where they are learning how to be an adult how to make better decisions, how to control their, their thought processes and their actions, right and going through that mindset cycle. So that they know that every thought that comes into their head isn't maybe something that should be acted out, right. And they also start to understand that once an action is done, they lose all all control over the response, right? This is our training ground.

And you know that people are trained during this time good, bad or indifferent. Because if we did nothing with kids, right, if we did nothing with kids, and they were just left on their own accord, hey, they probably wouldn't survive. But be we'd be you know, living in a world with a bunch of Mowgli. It's like Jungle Book style, right? And so there is training that happens in this 6570. And not only training that, you know, leads to something, but it is training that leads to their core beliefs. core beliefs are your true core beliefs, the one that the deep down beliefs that you have about yourself and others and the world around you. And so that is what the 65 seven D is. Now what is this project? Well, what I call parents are family architects. You're like what? Well bear with me here for a second. So an architect designs plans and oversees the construction or building of a project. Well, if we are architects for family architects, we are designing, planning and overseeing the building of our family and our children. That is what we are that is what a family architect is. And that project is our number one biggest project is the 6570 right? So that is where the 6570 family project comes from. This is our biggest project as family architects now, you know what is a family architect? Well, I'm glad you asked because I am all about definitions.

And here is an actual Manifesto. I'm going to read it to you. It's not too long but what a family architect is. So a family architect is the kind of parents Today needs in order to build tomorrow, respectful learning, teaching intentional, if family architects believes they have an honor and responsibility to raise up a life given into their hands by building into that life, all the rudimentary pieces that will come together to create their child's unique brilliance and success. A family architect knows that failure can be the best thing when used as another step towards success. Family architects use discipline as a path toward strength in mind, body and spirit because they know becoming a self led leader is the surest way to achieve everything possible in life. Family, architects build their family experience, define their success, create joy, form, connection, drive communication, and change the world. I am a family architect, and I am just one conversation away. And the conversation is because all of us are only one conversation away from being better, right? A Conversation with ourselves with our spouse or significant other with our kids, our kids, with their siblings, our kids with the parents, those conversations are vital. So that's what a family architect is, this is you are a family architect, right you are building right now. Now, in your project that you are doing is the 6570, right, your kids are between that 00 Day Zero, right, and 18 or 18 years. So somewhere within that 6570 day spectrum lies you with each one of your kids. Now, something else I really use a lot is the bow and arrow, now an arrow and you'll see this in my logo and why it's here. I like to explain all these things. I'm a very, very visual person. And so you will find throughout here I throw out a lot of visuals a lot of metaphors. And you'll probably notice that I use a lot of movie references as well, because I am a child of the 80s and that's what I did for a great majority of my life is watch the movie so I'm definitely older movie references but some newer ones too. I'm still good I still you know good see movie I love watching movies. Anyway, so a bow and arrow. So you remember geometry I don't know if you remember geometry I remember almost nothing about geometry. I was actually the only class I ever got a D in and it like struck such a nerve with me that I got a D I was like devout never get a D again in my life. And I never did. But I just did not understand it for the life of me. And I had one of those teachers that was like, here's the book, teach yourself. I'll be up at the front of the class if you have any questions and I was like, What? I don't know what all these things are look like hieroglyphics to me.

So anyway, but I do remember what a ray looks like. And I Ray was, um, are you going to message me back and say, No, I that's not what a ray was. But a ray, I believe is where there's a point, right? And a line, a line segment and then an arrow at the end. So that's what I'm talking about. 99.9% Sure. That's right. But if not correct me you geometry geniuses. Okay, so, uh, looking at that that arrow, it looks like an arrow. The point is the point of connection. A connection is not an ongoing process, right? It is literally a point in time and space. That is the point of connection. The line is connection is communication that is an ongoing process communication is and then the arrow at the end is. I'm like drawing this out on my desk, as I'm talking to you is the arrow at the end is the clarity. That's where you're going right? Where are you pointed? And you notice that without the point, the line or the arrow or connection, communication and clarity, where would it go? You need all of those points. And the bow is the world. The bow is tension in life because I don't know what kind of life you've been living if you've never had any sort of tension in it. But I don't think you're on this world. Air in this world. So every day, every day, we're going to be faced with things that surprised us and put tension in our lives. Sometimes it's great tension. I remember a friend of mine got really really sick before her wedding once. super great wedding great couple, but she got so super for her wedding and a mutual friend of ours said you know what, even good stress is stress. And that always just kind of stuck with me. So that tension Is life. And when you put tension on that arrow, if you don't have all three of those pieces, your connection, communication and clarity, and you're pointed somewhere that you don't want to be pointed, or there's a weak spot somewhere in there, you're going to just hit the ground. And it's not going to be pretty for you. And it's not going to be pretty for anyone else around you. And I know, especially if you're listening to this right now, you do not want your kiddos to hit the ground, right? That's not all we want to start off life. That's not what we want to be doing right now. And so helping them by connecting, having that communication along the way, and helping them form, that clarity is going to set them off on the right path. Okay, so that's the bow and arrow. That's why it's in the logo. Now you know why it is the 6570 family project, and, or I'm sorry, the 6570. And you also know why it is a family project.

And lastly, I just want to go over, you've heard me say these words, which are words that you, as far as I know, will only hear from me, and that is self led discipline, and leadership leadership, you'll probably hear somewhere else but self led discipline is the pathway to that leadership. And I'll let me just explain this a little bit. So Jim Rohn, I just like nod your head, give a little Thank you, if you've ever heard of or heard from Jim Rohn. He's passed away now. But brilliant. Anyway, Jim Rohn, he has my favorite definition of discipline. And that is that discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Okay. So when we're having our, when we're with our kids, we have what I call the discipline spectrum, and it goes all the way from parent led parent to self discipline to self led discipline, and then leadership. But there's self discipline, right. And there's that three parts of discipline, we have the goal, the bridge, and the accomplishment. And so in self discipline, someone's going to give you a goal. And then you may or may not go through with it. And then you get to an accomplishment if you do, right. Well, self led discipline without getting too much in the weeds. I go through this with my, my family coaching clients, I do family life coaching. And I get really deep in here with people to figure out where they are and how they can move along the spectrum and things but with self led discipline, that child or you as a parent as well for yourself, but you're teaching your kid to do this, you decide what the goal is, you walk through that bridge and figure out you commit to the path, right and you have the accomplishment at the end. That accomplishment may or may not look exactly like you thought it would look, but it's still an accomplishment at the end. And guess what failure can even be an accomplishment. Remember what we said in the manifesto up here. Um, they know, family architects know that failure can be the best thing when used as another step toward success. So that can even be a very good thing. And then we have after that you have the self leader, right? You have to be a self leader to even be an effective follower, right? You an effective follower. There's a lot of followers out there that are not effective. They just like Huh, that's pretty, I'll go Oh, that's pretty, I'll go, Oh, that looks comfy. I'll go. That's not an effective follower. That's just a follower, right? Those are like the couch cruisers and things like that. But a self leader comes from self led discipline, because you have to be the novice before you can be the master you need to be able to lead yourself before you can move on to lead others. And some people may or may not ever lead others, but they still need to be able to lead themselves in order to be an effective follower and effective employee right an effective part of a team an effective part of a family. You need to have that self led discipline and that self leadership. So I hope I was able to give you some definitions today self love, discipline and leadership, the 6570 the family project, what a family architect is and why there's this bow and arrow in our logo. So I hope you have a great day today. And I look forward to seeing you soon.