This episode, iconic for the month of February and synonymous with love, is so much more than what Cupid’s arrow can pierce within our hearts and minds. Falling in love, however, is not about the romanticism that culture tends to make us adapt to. Love comes in many forms, and the highest form of love has many different interpretations. In this episode, we will explore how self-love should be the only arrow being unsheathed and providing an important relationship for the future benefits of everything that you will work on, including romantic relationships, in your life.

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

2

determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

3

This is Speaking From The Heart.

4

Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

87 of Speaking from the Heart, and, ooh!

5

Are you in love already?

6

Yeah, I know.

7

It's already been Valentine's Day, and

it's long gone, and I'm sure you are

8

already relishing in the beauty of the

fact that that love was awesome in many

9

ways; maybe you went out for dinner, maybe

you celebrated your anniversary because

10

you were engaged on that date, maybe you'd

done all kinds of other things that, ahem,

11

we probably shouldn't talk about on the

show, but nevertheless, are you really

12

falling in love for the right reasons?

13

In other words, are you giving

yourself some self love?

14

Today's episode isn't really about

the romantic aspects of it, more so

15

than the professional and personal

development, so before you go and clamor

16

on my social media and email me at

podcast@yourspeakingvoice.biz, which

17

I'm always interested in hearing your

thoughts about my episodes, you might

18

want to stick around and listen to what I

have to say for today's showcase of love.

19

I think about the fact that there

are many different types of ways

20

in which we can express our love.

21

Love does not always have to be in the

ways in which we give ourselves, whether

22

we do the, ahem, sort of, kind of love,

or we do other things that help us to

23

really accentuate what we have as gifts.

24

The true love that we can give to

someone else through the things

25

that we are really good at doing,

let alone providing, to others.

26

It could be as simple as thinking

of someone that is next door to you;

27

maybe they're an elderly woman or

man, maybe in their late 70s, 80s.

28

They are homebound, and they need some

sort of assistance on a day to day basis.

29

It can make their day, knowing that you

have something to give them, whether

30

it's a cooked meal, maybe a thank you

gift for something that they did for

31

you in the past, regardless of what

the reason is, just that kind act can

32

make such an impressionable difference,

and show a little bit of love where it

33

really counts the most, and I know that

we talked about in the previous episode

34

about the importance of being able to

learn the small things when we were a

35

kid, but this goes way more than what

we were talking about in that episode.

36

Yessiree, and it's a lot more

than what you might be thinking.

37

I think that we don't necessarily find

the ways in which we want to love ourself

38

until we're much later in life when

we realize that there's a big void.

39

Sure, many of us might have went to

college and actually found somebody

40

to fall in love with, while in other

cases, you might have met them at a

41

bar, a restaurant, a sporting event,

regardless of what other social situation

42

or encounter that you first met them

at, it does make a big difference

43

to the fact that We find love in all

different forms and all different places.

44

I've always learned that it's really

important to not just think about what

45

we have as love in the common sense,

but really in the biggest sense as a

46

whole, and I learned that many years

ago, there was a concept in religion

47

called agape love, and agape, A G

A P E, is the highest form of love.

48

It's God's love.

49

Now, I know that for some of my listeners,

you're not actively in religion, and you

50

probably just turned off this episode

because of it, but before you go ahead

51

and hit that stop button, or close

out the window that you're listening

52

to this episode with, hear me out.

53

Agape love, essentially being that

highest form, doesn't always mean that

54

God has to love you, but maybe you

love yourself in the highest sense.

55

This leads into a story that I

have to share with all of you about

56

why it's really important to love

yourself more than anything else.

57

I know that for many of you that have been

following along with the podcast, know

58

about the struggles and the importance of

being able to listen to yourself, be able

59

to take care of who you are, but also give

back, but having that baseline of knowing

60

who you love the most, meaning, what you

really enjoy loving more than anything

61

else, whether it's a hobby, whether it

is a sport, whether it's some other type

62

of vice or device for that matter, that

you enjoy listening or even partaking in.

63

The biggest important thing is that you

have to give love to yourself, and I

64

did not do that for the longest time.

65

The biggest escape for me when growing

up as a kid was really video games.

66

Think about the latest Nintendo

system, and yes, I'm talking about the

67

original Nintendo Entertainment System.

68

One of the first devices that I had as

a kid because of my mom giving it to my

69

sister when she was growing up with me,

but then there was the Super Nintendo,

70

the PlayStation, the Sega Dreamcast, my!

71

I hope that many of you remember that

type of device, but even then, having

72

the PlayStation 2, and the GameCube were

really fun times for me, and I haven't

73

really gotten into video games since

then when I graduated from high school

74

in 2005, and then later college, for that

75

15 years since I really touched a video

game device, but that was my sense of

76

escapism; the way in which I loved myself.

77

The way in which I escaped from not

only the problems that were the day to

78

day, but also the things that I really

enjoyed doing, which was escaping reality.

79

Whether it was donning a suit and

swinging a sword, or even solving some

80

of the common problems that would be

found in the themes of many video games:

81

saving the princess, or even a damsel

in distress, or maybe the whole entire

82

world for that matter, regardless of

the basic premise of the game, I think

83

that I was able to feel like I was

a hero, in many different respects.

84

That heroism certainly carried through

in my life, wanting to always be the

85

person that would take care of others, no

matter what, but then there was something

86

that happened to me, as you all know, in

87

hero anymore and made me feel like a zero.

88

That zero moment for me really

made me take a big step back and

89

think about all the different

things that I had fallen behind in.

90

It wasn't just about the fact that

I was not loving myself, having that

91

self-love or even taking care of the

things that I should have been taking

92

care of in my life, but I realized that

maybe there weren't going to be any other

93

heroes in this story that would save me.

94

I had to be my own hero, which meant that

I had to self love all over again, and

95

self love can take many different forms,

and I know that maybe for some of you

96

these are basic, easy things, but for

others, it's really hard, especially in

97

the United States, to be able to say,

"I need to take care of myself first.",

98

so here's a couple of suggestions that I

was able to enable for the last few years

99

that I am still working on to this day,

and I guarantee you that if you ask any

100

of my friends, they would tell you that

Josh is not working on it, but he is.

101

One of the first things that I

learned more than anything else is

102

to take time for myself; meaning,

if I didn't want to work today

103

because I knew that I wasn't feeling

100%, I needed to take the day off.

104

That was my body warning me that something

was truly wrong, so take that time for

105

yourself to not only take a big step

back, but just be able to breathe.

106

Be able to know that you're not the

only one that is going through some

107

of these struggles, because if you

think about the fact that you are

108

going through this problem, and you

might not be feeling the overall best,

109

well how are you going to help others?

110

How are you going to feel good

about what you are doing as a whole?

111

The second thing that I really learned

more than anything else is when I had to

112

take a step back, especially if doing a

full time job or even doing the business

113

for that matter, I really had to learn

about balance, and balance is something

114

that we've talked about in other episodes,

but balance in this instance is really

115

about not just the things that you are

going to do for the day that allow you to

116

feel like you've accomplished something,

but it's also about taking that step

117

for yourself, be able to say, "Yes.

118

I'm going to set aside time intentionally

to work on my book, to work on my play, to

119

work on other things outside that I really

need to take care of.", It's all those

120

different things that we know that we have

on our to do list, from a personal sense,

121

that really makes a big difference, but

the thing that really sticks out more than

122

anything else is that when Cupid's arrow

is being flung at you, you have to listen

123

to the signs that are definitely all

around you when it comes to that arrow.

124

Finding love through Cupid's arrow might

be a Greek mythology reference, but if

125

you really think about the fact that if

you love yourself first, which is the

126

basic premise of my argument, you will

be able to love everybody else, including

127

that one person that will come in your

life to take care of you in your greatest

128

time of need, which is why, at almost

37 years of age, I am still single.

129

I didn't take care of myself.

130

I didn't love who I was.

131

I didn't continue to love in the way

in which my heart, was being led to

132

in the first place, and yeah, I might

be older now and some of you might

133

be saying, "Josh, hang in there!

134

You know you'll find somebody.

135

You're on the right track

and you're a really good guy.

136

You've been doing a lot of

episodes, and I think that I've

137

gotten to know you a lot better.

138

I think I got someone for you."

139

It's not about what you might be

offering, and it might not be about

140

what you are trying to provide.

141

It's all about what our journeys are

individually to get to that point.

142

When we are able to adapt to that

romanticism, regardless of what form it

143

takes, we're able to identify not just

those people that we want to hang out

144

with, which include our inner circle,

that tribe, which we've talked about

145

in other episodes, it helps us to

explore what is really on our hearts

146

and minds and become so much better

in the overall grand scheme of things.

147

Love does not have to be always at the

forefront when it comes to even some of

148

the things that we need to do, and yes,

I know that's a little bit counteractive

149

to what I have said in other episodes,

but if you break it down, love in itself

150

does not have to be a piecemeal process

of weighing the differences of, "Should

151

I really say this to this person or

should I not say it to this person?"

152

Sometimes the things that are truth need

to be said, and it's really important

153

to be able to understand that it's not

just how we convey that truth, which is

154

a big important point, especially for my

business folks, but it's really about why

155

it was important to say it in the first

place, and that is the heart of the whole

156

discussion here is that we need to be

able to come from a place of love to be

157

able to share that; not a place of hate.

158

Not a place in which we're trying to

get across to another person that we

159

are really despondent and tearing those

people down because of who they are,

160

what they represent, and what kind

of things they are doing as a whole.

161

We are human beings in which we make

mistakes all the time, and even in

162

relationships, we are always trying to

forgive who those other people are that

163

are causing some issues, so sometimes,

when we are sitting down to have that

164

frank conversation about what's really

important and what needs to be worked

165

on in order to become the best versions

of who we are, it means being able to

166

examine the truth, but also remember that

we need to come from a place of love in

167

order to be able to have that benefit that

everyone gets to enjoy in their lives.

168

Our culture, especially here in the

United States, really has commercialized

169

the importance of Valentine's Day:

finding love, being able to have

170

that romantic dinner with somebody

else, and I'm all about supporting

171

small business, because look at me!

172

I'm a small business if you really

think about it, but when we are really

173

looking at going to dinner to support

that significant other and make them

174

appreciate what that love is, it doesn't

have to always be done on a national

175

holiday of celebration, whether it's

here in the United States or in a

176

different version internationally.

177

We have to remember that love

comes in all different forms.

178

The things that we are able to even do

as small tokens of appreciation can go

179

such a long distance in terms of not only

how we create those relationships, but

180

also how we are able to stay with them

no matter what, so it is important to be

181

able to listen, to acknowledge who those

people are that are really important

182

in our lives, and always have them

remember that they are never forgotten.

183

In other words, they are important

for everything that you will work

184

on, right now, and in the future, but

don't forget the fact that you need to

185

love yourself more than anything else.

186

What got me through the fact that I had

been through so many different things in

187

my life, let alone the moment in which

I wanted to hurt myself and end it all,

188

was a reflection of the hate and the

depression that I was going through.

189

I was suppressing it, and it

was not healthy whatsoever.

190

As a matter of fact, it was the antithesis

of Cupid shooting some nasty arrows that

191

were not full of love, but now I realize

that even if I drink the magic potion of

192

being able to fall in love romantically,

or even with myself, it's about

193

understanding that the importance of what

we can give to others, the ways and the

194

acts of our kindness, our ability to give

back no matter what, and the appreciation

195

deeply for us to love no matter what

circumstances take place in our lives,

196

are all tenets in which we should

be able to create and pierce, within

197

those hearts and minds a new pattern,

a new reality, and a new inspiration.

198

Our culture does not have to always

be bought on that aspect of love, so

199

challenge the status quo, and if you

haven't had Valentine's Day yet, think

200

of new ways in which you can be able to

celebrate that love, that excitement,

201

that inspiration, for not only helping

others, but helping yourself achieve some

202

of the great moments that are lying ahead,

because love isn't just about what other

203

people are experiencing, it's about what

you experience, because as I've always

204

said, you are the most important person

to ever walk this earth, and I don't mean

205

that in an egotistical, self serving way.

206

It's about recognizing that in your

heart, you might not have found love

207

yet, or maybe you have, but if you're

not checking in with yourself, who is

208

the most important person in this entire

earth to love, to have that agape love,

209

then it's time to look in the mirror and

say to yourself, confidently and with

210

beauty, "I love you.", because even if it

is something that you take yourself out

211

to a steak dinner, or even treat yourself

to a little something nice, don't forget

212

about who you are, and don't forget about

who you are serving, to help grow, to

213

help achieve, and to help sustain some

of those beautiful moments that are lying

214

ahead, because who's responsible for that?

215

You are, and I don't think that

you should forget to love yourself.

216

Thanks for listening to episode

number 87 of Speaking From the

217

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

218

Outro: Thanks for listening.

219

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

220

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

221

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

222

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

223

See you next time.