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Meet Co-Host Belinda Haan | Embodying Compassion
Episode 320th September 2022 • Reclaiming Ourselves™ • Sonya Stattmann
00:00:00 00:52:03

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Our next exciting introduction features co-host Belinda Haan! Sonya guides Belinda through a candid conversation about her journey toward self-understanding and acceptance. 

Belinda talks about the importance of embodying compassion for self even more than others. 

She opens up about the parts of herself she has judged and denied in order to meet external expectations and the long, sometimes painful process of reclaiming those parts. Belinda’s experience of reclaiming herself will resonate with you. You learn more about the methods she’s exploring in her own reclaiming process, and you’ll understand why we’re so excited to have her join us as a regular host for this podcast!

Join us as we discuss

  • 12:49 The formative experience of feeling deep emotion.
  • 16:53 The benefit of accepting your self-critical parts, instead of trying to erase them.
  • 22:53 How changing your routine can help you reconnect with joy, regardless of your external circumstances.
  • 30:13 Embodying compassion, and how it can help you stop wasting time judging yourself.
  • 37:44 Belinda’s interest in grounded spirituality, and how to connect to something bigger to help us find ourselves.

Resources mentioned in the show

Learn more about Sonya & Belinda

—>Sonya Stattmann is the host & creator of Reclaiming Ourselves™. She is a TEDx & corporate speaker and has been working with leaders around personal development for the last 22 years. She teaches workshops & offers small group programs around emotional intelligence, transformational & embodied leadership, and energy management. You can find more about her here:

Website: https://www.sonyastattmann.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyastattmann/ 

—> Belinda Haan, co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, is a gifted Masters-level certified professional coach who has worked with leaders and executives in various Fortune 500 corporations worldwide. She is a mindfulness and compassion teacher and facilitates group and individual therapeutic interventions that promote inner connection and belonging. She is personally passionate about bridging the gap between science and spirit, using an empathic, grounded approach that weaves contemplative practice and accessible personal development with her clients. You can find more about her here:

Website: www.belindahaan.com

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/belinda-haan-b1b02815/ 


What you can do next:

  1. For more episodes, opportunities, and information on the hosts, visit http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
  2. Love the podcast? Get episodes delivered to your inbox with articles related to the topics we talk about. You can sign up at http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
  3. Need a little weekly magic? Sign up for Worthy Love Notes & weekly affirmations here https://www.sonyastattmann.com/self-worth-affirmations-2/  

Thank you for being you. We are so honored to have you as a listener!


Transcripts

Belinda Haan:

as a culture, we just really say, Light emotions, pleasurable

Belinda Haan:

emotions are all that there is.

Belinda Haan:

And these darker, heavier more painful emotions are either a

Belinda Haan:

sign of mental illness or to be avoided at all costs because you're

Belinda Haan:

gonna die if you experience 'em.

Belinda Haan:

And that is definitely the model that I have been working with.

Belinda Haan:

It's cultural kind of messaging that we always experience.

Belinda Haan:

And now sometimes I genuinely in, in times of feeling really light

Belinda Haan:

and spacious, sometimes I actually don't feel as connected to myself.

Belinda Haan:

It's actually in those darker times that I feel just so connected with

Belinda Haan:

myself and with something higher that it can almost be missed.

Belinda Haan:

It's funny for me to say that because I think I spent the first 40 years

Belinda Haan:

just trying to grab the light.

Sonya Stattmann:

I know, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's really interesting.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, I know I've been kind of exploring the other side as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, I feel comfortable with darkness and I can embrace darkness,

Sonya Stattmann:

but how do I also embrace joy?

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

How do I, like, I'm good at the low end.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like I want to experience more of the high end and embracing that as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

If you know there is something deep inside of you that is yearning to be

Sonya Stattmann:

seen, to be known, and to have expression.

Sonya Stattmann:

If there's something you need to reclaim and remember: maybe it's your

Sonya Stattmann:

power or your purpose, your gifts.

Sonya Stattmann:

This is the podcast for you.

Sonya Stattmann:

Welcome to Reclaiming Ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm your host, Sonya Stattmann and I'm honored to have three amazing

Sonya Stattmann:

co-hosts, Laura Shook-Guzman, Belinda Haan, and Emily Soccorsy, here with

Sonya Stattmann:

me on this journey to self discovery.

Sonya Stattmann:

Every week we're gonna help you unravel and remember what it means to reclaim

Sonya Stattmann:

yourself, to own who you are to recognize your innate worth and greatness.

Sonya Stattmann:

Now, those podcast is a deep dive into self-development healing and empowerment.

Sonya Stattmann:

So hold on.

Sonya Stattmann:

Here we go.

Sonya Stattmann:

Just a quick note, before we dive into today's episode.

Sonya Stattmann:

These initial episodes are introduction episodes.

Sonya Stattmann:

One of the reasons I chose to have co-hosts instead of guests, was

Sonya Stattmann:

to give you the opportunity to get to know us, and to spend the topic

Sonya Stattmann:

episodes talking about the topics.

Sonya Stattmann:

So today's special episode is a deep dive into one of the co-hosts' stories.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's gonna give you context for why we are here and what we

Sonya Stattmann:

have to contribute this season.

Sonya Stattmann:

Enjoy getting to know us.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you for listening.

Sonya Stattmann:

And if you wanna learn more, be sure to visit reclaimingourselvespodcast.com.

Sonya Stattmann:

Hey everyone.

Sonya Stattmann:

And welcome back to reclaiming ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm so excited because we get this opportunity today to meet

Sonya Stattmann:

one of our other co-hosts.

Sonya Stattmann:

These pre episodes are going to be so amazing because we can

Sonya Stattmann:

really dive deep on each person you're listening to every week.

Sonya Stattmann:

So today we get to meet Belinda Hahn.

Sonya Stattmann:

Hey Belinda.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm so glad you're here.

Belinda Haan:

Hey, Sonya.

Belinda Haan:

So amazing to be here.

Belinda Haan:

Yay.

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, I've had some really great conversations

Sonya Stattmann:

so far with the co-host.

Sonya Stattmann:

Laura did an introduction with me, which was, you know, different because

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm used to being the one to ask the questions, but it was really good.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I feel like this is such a great opportunity for us to get to know you.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so one of the things I always just love to start with is the basics, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

People wanna.

Sonya Stattmann:

Where do you live?

Sonya Stattmann:

Do you have kids, you know, do you have a partner?

Sonya Stattmann:

So tell us a little bit of, sort of the basics of where you are.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Well, I live in Kings cliff, which is on the east coast of Australia.

Belinda Haan:

Um, a small, pretty small town beautiful place that I've been

Belinda Haan:

living for nearly 10 years now.

Belinda Haan:

And I've got two kids.

Belinda Haan:

So a daughter who's 12 and son who's nine and I'm married to Ben gorgeous Huby.

Belinda Haan:

I think we've been married for more than 15 years.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's amazing.

Sonya Stattmann:

You guys are amazing.

Sonya Stattmann:

He is, he is a gorgeous hub for

Belinda Haan:

he is absolutely gorgeous.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

And your kids like, wow.

Sonya Stattmann:

So you're in those tween years,

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And we just got back from two months in Italy together.

Belinda Haan:

Um, the four of us and it was.

Belinda Haan:

Amazing.

Belinda Haan:

It was just so such beautiful, perfect age, quality time.

Belinda Haan:

So, yeah, I'm just in basking in the glow of that at the moment,

Sonya Stattmann:

That sounds so amazing.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so tell us a little bit about why you chose to go to Italy.

Sonya Stattmann:

Well, why Italy and also, , why two months away.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah, well, we have a real affiliation with Italy.

Belinda Haan:

Um, not from a family perspective, but just love everything about Italy.

Belinda Haan:

And we actually took the kids.

Belinda Haan:

When.

Belinda Haan:

My youngest was only four months old and Indy was two and a half.

Belinda Haan:

And we had two months at that time to Italy.

Belinda Haan:

And so going back now with the kids older, obviously it was way easier.

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm-hmm

Belinda Haan:

but yeah, we just, we originally were gonna go for six

Belinda Haan:

months and then three months, and then we just decided that two months

Belinda Haan:

was probably the limit for the kids, because they're really interested

Belinda Haan:

in their friends and everything now.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah, it was just wonderful.

Belinda Haan:

The food, the culture, the views, the, you know, it was just amazing to immerse

Belinda Haan:

ourselves in that for a couple of months.

Belinda Haan:

It just feels like it was a total reset.

Belinda Haan:

After the last couple of years of lots of challenges.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

A hundred percent and that's amazing.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, I think that's such a good Bondy experience.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like it's an experience all of you will have for like the rest of your lives.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's it's one of those reference point experiences, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

That you kind of come back to or a feeling you wanna achieve.

Sonya Stattmann:

Again, I think that's so important when kids are young.

Belinda Haan:

Yes, absolutely.

Belinda Haan:

And just a reminder of, of the value of novelty and mixing things up as well.

Belinda Haan:

has just been so valuable for all of us, actually.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, that's beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yay.

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

So we kind of have the basics of where you're from and who you are.

Sonya Stattmann:

Maybe tell us a few things that describe you.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like sometimes I like to ask the question, give us two to three adjectives

Sonya Stattmann:

that might describe you just so we can get a little bit of a picture.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Okay.

Belinda Haan:

So definitely sensitive slash empathetic um, enthusiastic and creative.

Belinda Haan:

Creative's a word that I've been reclaiming actually in

Belinda Haan:

terms of an adjective for me.

Sonya Stattmann:

Beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so tell us a little bit about the empathic insensitive, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

I think it's interesting because I think all of the co-hosts have used

Sonya Stattmann:

that reference point a little bit were all sort of sensitive are empathic.

Sonya Stattmann:

What does that mean to you?

Belinda Haan:

So I, you know, this has been a part of me that

Belinda Haan:

I've actually had to reclaim.

Belinda Haan:

And I, I remember walking along on a beach, on a holiday once realizing that it

Belinda Haan:

was, it was just a fact that I'm sensitive and empathetic , and all the ways that

Belinda Haan:

I've kind of tried to make that not true.

Belinda Haan:

because I just have had this idea.

Belinda Haan:

I wanted to be really unfazed by things and just be able to go with the flow

Belinda Haan:

and just be really strong and resilient.

Belinda Haan:

And then I realized that I'm actually someone just, who is faced by things.

Belinda Haan:

And that, that actually means that.

Belinda Haan:

You know, I feel things deeply and that is actually a gift.

Belinda Haan:

And, and I've had to learn ways to be able to not feel flooded by all of that.

Belinda Haan:

And, you know, being able to be with people and not taking

Belinda Haan:

on so much of their stuff.

Belinda Haan:

That's, you know, a work in progress, I think, possibly of a lifetime, but

Belinda Haan:

I feel like it's, it's sort of the gifts are in being able to connect

Belinda Haan:

with others and being able to.

Belinda Haan:

be sort of naturally compassionate with, different people and

Belinda Haan:

different circumstances.

Belinda Haan:

And I guess intuitively flowing with what feels right as well and

Belinda Haan:

connecting more deeply with yourself.

Belinda Haan:

So, yeah, I it's been a journey actually being able to see the strengths and

Belinda Haan:

gifts of it, because I think I was just resisting it so much in myself

Belinda Haan:

that this, this essential part of me

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, it's amazing how much the world, it's almost like

Sonya Stattmann:

swimming upstream to embrace your sort of sensitive or empathic nature.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like, you know, we're going against the grain, which tells us to shut it

Sonya Stattmann:

off and suppress it and hold it down.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, you know, I find that so interesting.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, as I feel a lot of people are embracing this part of themselves

Sonya Stattmann:

right now and trying to understand it.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, I do a lot of work on emotional intelligence and this

Sonya Stattmann:

is a core component of it, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Being able to kind of embrace this part of ourselves.

Belinda Haan:

Yes, yes.

Belinda Haan:

And it's kind of like countercultural as well, because there's so

Belinda Haan:

much, so much in the culture that tells us we've got a really.

Belinda Haan:

Push ourselves really hard and just toughen up and all of that, that just

Belinda Haan:

can, you know, all of those messages can be embodied that there's something

Belinda Haan:

wrong with me for not being able to handle pushing myself all the time.

Belinda Haan:

And, you know, so that that's, it really does take a lot of in our work to sort

Belinda Haan:

of allow and accept that we don't have to be that way and being that way.

Belinda Haan:

That the culture tells us we should be, is not really for our highest good

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, I would love to hear more about your

Sonya Stattmann:

experience with that, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like one, one of the things that I wanna.

Sonya Stattmann:

You today anyway, is like, what are some pivotal kind of points in your life

Sonya Stattmann:

that, you know, really kind of changed?

Sonya Stattmann:

You helped you remember who you are, helped you reclaim parts of yourself.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I feel like that piece that you just mentioned, like recognizing

Sonya Stattmann:

and embracing who you are in the pace that you need and letting go.

Sonya Stattmann:

Striving and the running after and the, you know, tell us a little

Sonya Stattmann:

bit more about that experience.

Sonya Stattmann:

Cuz I feel like so many people are having that right now and they still feel so much

Sonya Stattmann:

guilt or struggle or conflict around it.

Sonya Stattmann:

What was your experience with that?

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Well, I think like you, I've been in really interested in

Belinda Haan:

personal and spiritual development since my early twenties.

Belinda Haan:

I think you might top me, cuz I think you, you were nine when you bought your

Belinda Haan:

first personal development book, which I love . So I, you know, it's not new

Belinda Haan:

to me personal and spiritual growth, but I guess when I turned 40, you know, I.

Belinda Haan:

Had a total unraveling.

Belinda Haan:

And I think that that was really, I just felt so much intense dissatisfaction

Belinda Haan:

within me and with my life.

Belinda Haan:

And it just felt so confusing because on paper I had everything, you know,

Belinda Haan:

every external measure you could just tick, tick, tick, tick, but internally

Belinda Haan:

I just felt just so sort of empty and, you know, and I just, all of the.

Belinda Haan:

Different patterns that I was, that I'd always engaged in like people pleasing

Belinda Haan:

and overworking and pushing myself to the limit and not taking care of

Belinda Haan:

myself and all the self criticism, like intense self criticism over the years.

Belinda Haan:

I think it just came to a head where I could no longer

Belinda Haan:

tolerate that way of being and.

Belinda Haan:

Always just thinking about other people, just so focused on external

Belinda Haan:

validation and not internal validation and just so dissatisfied that I just

Belinda Haan:

kept going through the same, trying to fix these things and nothing working.

Belinda Haan:

If you like, and.

Belinda Haan:

having that unraveling, I just, I decided I was gonna take six months off

Belinda Haan:

for spiritual growth and it was just so wonderful to just create space for myself.

Belinda Haan:

And so lucky that I was able to do that.

Belinda Haan:

And that just allowed me to be with myself really for the first time, probably ever

Belinda Haan:

that wasn't pushing, you know, distracting myself with work or family or whatever.

Belinda Haan:

Um, . And so that allowed me to sort of uncover some of these

Belinda Haan:

core beliefs that were running and back to your, your question about

Belinda Haan:

empathetic, sensitive journey.

Belinda Haan:

You know, one of my core beliefs was I'm crazy because.

Belinda Haan:

As a child.

Belinda Haan:

I was, I remember being so overwhelmed by emotion and feeling

Belinda Haan:

deeply the suffering of the world.

Belinda Haan:

and I couldn't see, and back then, no one talked about emotions or,

Belinda Haan:

you know, that, that just wasn't that gen our generation wasn't that

Belinda Haan:

wasn't part of the the conversation.

Belinda Haan:

And so I couldn't see anyone else around me struggling like me.

Belinda Haan:

So I kind of.

Belinda Haan:

This in my child, like mind was just came to the conclusion that

Belinda Haan:

I was crazy and that there was something really wrong with me.

Belinda Haan:

And I think that, that from that, that place, I then intelligently came up

Belinda Haan:

with all of these ways of making that, not be true through people pleasing.

Belinda Haan:

And I just had really a gift in being able to work out what people needed

Belinda Haan:

and, you know, being able to sort of.

Belinda Haan:

Contort myself to make sure that I was really making everyone happy.

Belinda Haan:

and then I also went into achievement, like, you know, going, getting masters

Belinda Haan:

and all this sort of stuff to, you know, try to fill the holes that I

Belinda Haan:

felt inside, which was really um, yeah.

Belinda Haan:

Through a lot of distraction, a lot of, kind of avoidance and.

Belinda Haan:

Of course, you know, that was a really great strategy because what else

Belinda Haan:

could I do, especially as a child.

Belinda Haan:

So I really had to just go within and really uncover what these core

Belinda Haan:

beliefs were running and also the behaviors and everything that I

Belinda Haan:

was doing to kind of avoid that.

Belinda Haan:

And that sort of took me on a massive journey, you know, including training

Belinda Haan:

as a mindfulness teacher and.

Belinda Haan:

And then having some beautiful experiences amongst all the pain of the

Belinda Haan:

deep inner work and uncovering which you know, that it absolutely was painful.

Belinda Haan:

I'd then have all these spacious moments of just total connection with myself

Belinda Haan:

and with the world in a just profoundly.

Belinda Haan:

Like mind altering kind of way, without any mind altering substances just, yeah,

Belinda Haan:

just a deep feeling and experience of my wholeness and perfection, regardless

Belinda Haan:

of all of these coverings that I had, that I had over the, this truth.

Belinda Haan:

And so, because I had those experiences, I was able to sort of tap into that.

Belinda Haan:

And then, I mean, my journey really since then has been.

Belinda Haan:

Sort of navigating that whole forgetting and remembering, and I know we're gonna

Belinda Haan:

do an episode on that, but I think once I UN uncovered this wholeness

Belinda Haan:

within me, I wanted to stay there.

Belinda Haan:

a hundred percent of the time and can I just stay in this like spacious,

Belinda Haan:

like where you just feel like nothing is a problem and you are just

Belinda Haan:

naturally values aligned and loving and compassionate and all of that.

Belinda Haan:

So I just then took my Tave kind of like, I'm gonna be the

Belinda Haan:

best spiritual person there is.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

How did that, how did that go, Belinda?

Belinda Haan:

Well, the type a personality is really kind of like

Belinda Haan:

the opposite of what you . It's like instead of striving it's about

Belinda Haan:

surrendering and yeah, so, so that, that has been part of the journey as well.

Belinda Haan:

And I think I just have been just amazed that you sort of.

Belinda Haan:

okay.

Belinda Haan:

You know, I know what my inner critic sounds like.

Belinda Haan:

I know the words that come out and I know that they're not true.

Belinda Haan:

It's just all words and everything.

Belinda Haan:

And then I just get hooked by it again and possessed by it.

Belinda Haan:

And I think, and then I think what's wrong with me.

Belinda Haan:

I've done all this work and why is this coming up again?

Belinda Haan:

And so that, that has been my, my journey really since turning 40 and I'm nearly 44.

Belinda Haan:

has been just being able to allow whatever is present to be present.

Belinda Haan:

And that includes self-criticism, you know, like actually befriending that part

Belinda Haan:

of me because it's actually like kind of giving up hope that it's ever gonna go.

Belinda Haan:

It's always gonna be with me, but I can.

Belinda Haan:

Look at it and build compassion for myself as I'm experiencing in a critic attack,

Belinda Haan:

which is what I, I call it sometimes just feeling possessed by, by that.

Belinda Haan:

So that's a pretty long answer to your, to your question.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

There there's like so many threads I wanna pull and that, I mean,

Sonya Stattmann:

first of all, I love how you talked about it as an unraveling.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

I really resonate and love that word.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Sometimes we talk about it as a crisis or a breakdown or a, you know, a major

Sonya Stattmann:

life happening or whatever, but it's.

Sonya Stattmann:

It is an unraveling and that's a really important piece.

Sonya Stattmann:

We're unraveling to our core self, to our authentic self.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, we're, we're reclaiming what we are and we're having

Sonya Stattmann:

to unravel what is not us.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so I love, I love that you said that and, and I think

Sonya Stattmann:

that's a really important piece.

Sonya Stattmann:

One of the other things I wanna kind of touch on our pull out

Sonya Stattmann:

of what you said too, is that.

Sonya Stattmann:

Everything.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like so many of us have reached this place where everything on paper is like good.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, we, we check the boxes.

Sonya Stattmann:

We, we have a partner and we have kids, we have a business, you know, whatever

Sonya Stattmann:

it is that we kind of check that place.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think a lot of people out there feel like they've you know, really strived

Sonya Stattmann:

in their life or all those things, and they're checking those boxes.

Sonya Stattmann:

And yet

Sonya Stattmann:

inside.

Sonya Stattmann:

They feel dissatisfied.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think, you know, that it's like, then we often deny that in ourselves,

Sonya Stattmann:

we diminish that in ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think that's really important to acknowledge in what you did

Sonya Stattmann:

that, that like, no, this is truth.

Sonya Stattmann:

What I feel,

Sonya Stattmann:

not just because of what I should feel based on all these check marks.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think a lot of people can resonate with that feeling.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And I think um, When the dissatisfaction becomes so intense and painful,

Belinda Haan:

you know, we've got a choice.

Belinda Haan:

just keep just distracting and doing all the things, which is what I, you

Belinda Haan:

know, have done many, many, many, and continue to do many, many, many

Belinda Haan:

times, or just actually just feeling into what actually is present.

Belinda Haan:

And what's what's underneath, what's underneath it all as well.

Belinda Haan:

And.

Belinda Haan:

You know, I think that at times now that I, you know, I've been through

Belinda Haan:

so many cycles of expansion and contraction, expansion and contraction

Belinda Haan:

that I know that at the moment of being on your knees with despair,

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm-hmm

Belinda Haan:

like the gold is just around the corner, you know, it's

Belinda Haan:

just, I, I kind of welcome despair now.

Belinda Haan:

I'm like, yes, I'm really close to, to removing another,

Belinda Haan:

another layer of the onion.

Belinda Haan:

That's when I know when I'm at, on my knees in despair.

Belinda Haan:

That's when I know now.

Belinda Haan:

I used to be scared of that.

Belinda Haan:

Of course, cuz it's not a great feeling, but when you've been there

Belinda Haan:

enough and realize that the fruit is just ready and ripe for picking after

Belinda Haan:

that moment, that's sort of, yeah.

Belinda Haan:

It's when you can really welcome that darkness and despair because you're close.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think too many people stop at that point or distract themselves

Sonya Stattmann:

at that point or avoid that point.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it's like, all the goodness is just beyond reminds me of childbirth.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

That's what I was thinking too.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like that threshold.

Sonya Stattmann:

When you get to that moment, if you haven't had a child yet, Don't

Sonya Stattmann:

plan on having a child, you get to this moment where you, like, you

Sonya Stattmann:

literally think you can't do it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like it's

Belinda Haan:

Yeah, I'm gonna die.

Sonya Stattmann:

That's like, yeah, I can't, I can't do anymore.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it's like, that's right at the moment when the birth is happening

Sonya Stattmann:

and you know, it's the same, it's the rebirth of ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's the rebirth of, you know, the light, it's all of these beautiful things

Sonya Stattmann:

that are just beyond that darkness.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And, and yet as a culture, we just really say, Light emotions, pleasurable

Belinda Haan:

emotions are all that there is.

Belinda Haan:

And these darker, heavier more painful emotions are either a

Belinda Haan:

sign of mental illness or to be avoided at all costs because you're

Belinda Haan:

gonna die if you experience 'em.

Belinda Haan:

And that is definitely the model that I have been working with.

Belinda Haan:

It's cultural kind of messaging that we always experience.

Belinda Haan:

And now sometimes I genuinely in, in times of feeling really light

Belinda Haan:

and spacious, sometimes I actually don't feel as connected to myself.

Belinda Haan:

It's actually in those darker times that I feel just so connected with

Belinda Haan:

myself and with something higher that it can almost be missed.

Belinda Haan:

It's funny for me to say that because I think I spent the first 40 years

Belinda Haan:

just trying to grab the light.

Sonya Stattmann:

I know, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's really interesting.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, I know I've been kind of exploring the other side as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, I feel comfortable with darkness and I can embrace darkness,

Sonya Stattmann:

but how do I also embrace joy?

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

How do I, like, I'm good at the low end.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like I want to experience more of the high end and embracing that as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

Have you

Sonya Stattmann:

experienced something like that?

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Well, it's just.

Belinda Haan:

The last couple of months in Italy has really reacquainted me with joy.

Belinda Haan:

Again, joy and awe has been, you know, those emotions have been very few and

Belinda Haan:

far between in the last few years.

Belinda Haan:

And I'm sure that , that is just a general expression of, of society.

Belinda Haan:

We've had such a rough everyone individually and collectively

Belinda Haan:

has had such a rough years.

Sonya Stattmann:

mm-hmm

Belinda Haan:

I think perhaps without really shifting things up.

Belinda Haan:

And I don't think I necessarily needed to go to Italy for this, but just really,

Belinda Haan:

really changing up my routine and really looking for joy and marinating and joy.

Belinda Haan:

That has been really amazing because I feel like before.

Belinda Haan:

I was in some ways, just so deep in my own process that I couldn't also see how

Belinda Haan:

much joy there is and you know, how much joy is already within me, regardless

Belinda Haan:

of what my external circumstances are.

Belinda Haan:

So it's just been so wonderful and such a privilege to kind of marinate

Belinda Haan:

in that for a couple of months.

Sonya Stattmann:

Oh, I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thanks for sharing that.

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

So I wanna take a little bit of a pivot or a turn, and I want you to

Sonya Stattmann:

share a little bit of your journey.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, a lot of people wanna know kind of.

Sonya Stattmann:

What is your background?

Sonya Stattmann:

What, you know, what does your career work life look like?

Sonya Stattmann:

So let's kind of get through the basics of what that journey's been.

Sonya Stattmann:

And then we can talk a little deeper.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

Sure.

Belinda Haan:

So for, for 20 years I worked in financial services in sort of HR and

Belinda Haan:

then also leadership development, organizational development roles.

Belinda Haan:

and that was in Australia and also the UK and New York as well.

Belinda Haan:

So kind of global financial services career doing mostly people development.

Belinda Haan:

And then when I moved to Kings cliff, obviously, you know, there was no option

Belinda Haan:

for that, but I, I had always had a plan to exit corporate because it just like,

Belinda Haan:

I feel like I'm actually recovering from my experience of working in corporate,

Belinda Haan:

which was not at all aligned to.

Belinda Haan:

Supporting my thriving.

Belinda Haan:

I was definitely swimming against the, the, um, the current there.

Belinda Haan:

And and then, so whilst I was at corporate, I was studying a master's

Belinda Haan:

of science and coaching psychology with the view that I was going to

Belinda Haan:

have my own business and as a coach.

Belinda Haan:

And so that's what I started doing 10 years ago.

Belinda Haan:

And.

Belinda Haan:

We had the privilege of working all over the world with executives and

Belinda Haan:

leaders on their personal development and professional development as well.

Belinda Haan:

And then coinciding with this 40 40 turning 40.

Belinda Haan:

And I was really just.

Belinda Haan:

Sort of feeling into that, that part of my career was over the corporate work.

Belinda Haan:

And so just started a mother's group.

Belinda Haan:

I just really felt too.

Belinda Haan:

Support mothers that was just coming up for me and my own motherhood journey was

Belinda Haan:

so challenging, you know, and, and in different ways continues to be, I think

Belinda Haan:

it sort of ebbs and flows, but certainly the first year was so challenging.

Belinda Haan:

The most challenge I've ever been in my life.

Belinda Haan:

And so I thought I had a terrible experience in the mother's.

Belinda Haan:

So I decided I'm just gonna put an event ride out there and using my group coaching

Belinda Haan:

and what I, what I knew about wellbeing, cuz I was also um, coaching and wellbeing.

Belinda Haan:

just started a mother's group, but I had the rule that it was a

Belinda Haan:

hundred percent focused on them.

Belinda Haan:

N they weren't allowed to talk about their baby

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes, I

Belinda Haan:

and, and that was just a wonderful experience.

Belinda Haan:

And, and, and did that for, for a number of years and continue to do that in not,

Belinda Haan:

not as, as frequently as, as I used to.

Belinda Haan:

And then I also trained as a mindfulness.

Belinda Haan:

Teacher as well.

Belinda Haan:

So bringing my love of contemplative wisdom and sort of aligning

Belinda Haan:

that with my work as well.

Belinda Haan:

Cause I'd had 20 years or more of interest in that.

Belinda Haan:

and then also training as a women's circle facilitator.

Belinda Haan:

So, and that has just been so beautiful to sort of create

Belinda Haan:

this sacred space for women.

Belinda Haan:

It's just the most magical and heart opening experience to be

Belinda Haan:

able to sit in circle with women and share authentically it's.

Belinda Haan:

So countercultural and so nourishing for the heart.

Belinda Haan:

So that has just been amazing.

Belinda Haan:

And, and then for, for this year I've been studying at Stanford university applied

Belinda Haan:

compassion with the intention of like finally building compassion for myself

Belinda Haan:

cause I had been teaching self-compassion, but really, you know, secretly just could

Belinda Haan:

thought that I was exempt from that.

Belinda Haan:

So my intention for this course was.

Belinda Haan:

Build compassion for myself.

Belinda Haan:

And also as part of the course, we've got to create a capstone

Belinda Haan:

project that alleviates suffering in a community of our choice.

Belinda Haan:

And I loved the idea of doing that.

Belinda Haan:

And so I've chosen mothers and I'm doing a, a product, which is

Belinda Haan:

the first time I've done that.

Belinda Haan:

I just wanted something with roots, physical.

Belinda Haan:

So it's gonna be a card deck to support mothers when they're having a rough.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

So beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that you're doing applied compassion, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, you know, I also teach a lot about compassion.

Sonya Stattmann:

I feel like I'm a compassionate person, but you know, it's always practice, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's always practicing.

Sonya Stattmann:

And that self-compassion actually has to come first.

Sonya Stattmann:

Every opening of self-compassion creates this like automatic

Sonya Stattmann:

outflow of compassion for others.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And I've realized that through building my own compassion, that it really

Belinda Haan:

just opens the door to everything, you know, and I really challenged myself

Belinda Haan:

when I signed up to the course and my.

Belinda Haan:

Doing what I do and looking for certifications from really amazing

Belinda Haan:

places to therefore be qualified and I thought, am I looking for

Belinda Haan:

a certificate and being nice

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah,

Belinda Haan:

but I just, I just felt in my body that even though there wasn't

Belinda Haan:

a lot of rational reasons for doing it, that I really wanted to do it.

Belinda Haan:

And through, through the, the experience I've really.

Belinda Haan:

I can really say I'm embodying compassion in such a meaningful way,

Belinda Haan:

and that has opened up so much within me in terms of being able to live more

Belinda Haan:

purposely and consciously and connect more with my wholeness, because I just

Belinda Haan:

had such intense self-criticism, you know, just as a constant companion.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, that's so interesting to, to look at.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love the way you said kind of that embodying it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Because I think a lot of us feel like we have compassion for others, or we maybe

Sonya Stattmann:

even have some compassion for ourselves, but embodying compassion is different.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's and so if you were to describe what it feels like versus like the concept of

Sonya Stattmann:

compassion, what, what would you say in being embodied in compassion feels.

Belinda Haan:

That's a great question.

Belinda Haan:

It, it just feels like space

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm.

Belinda Haan:

internal space to live, live your life, align to your values,

Belinda Haan:

like, and, and, and also importantly, when

Belinda Haan:

you are not aligned to your values or you are hooked by something that you can

Belinda Haan:

more easily navigate back to yourself.

Belinda Haan:

because I feel like I've wasted, like in, in so much time judging myself.

Belinda Haan:

So fiercely about every little mistake and, and a hyper vigilance

Belinda Haan:

for any possible mistake.

Belinda Haan:

And in a way, the more that I learned, the more mistakes I

Belinda Haan:

could see that I was making.

Belinda Haan:

Whereas compassion just allows me to see that.

Belinda Haan:

I've got strengths, I've got development areas.

Belinda Haan:

So does everyone else, like there's no one perfect.

Belinda Haan:

And that if I turn towards myself in those moments of suffering with compassion,

Belinda Haan:

I can, I can learn from those mistakes.

Belinda Haan:

I can just much more easily be present with, with who I'm

Belinda Haan:

with and myself and with life.

Belinda Haan:

So, yeah, it's just been amazing experience.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think that is so important and so beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

And when he said it, when you had that kind of.

Sonya Stattmann:

, you know, explanation.

Sonya Stattmann:

What I really heard was like, it's almost the absence of pressure.

Sonya Stattmann:

I When you said space, what I felt was like, Ooh, I've never kind of

Sonya Stattmann:

connected that dots, but self-compassion is like the absence of pressure.

Belinda Haan:

It is the absence of pressure.

Belinda Haan:

And I tell you what I have lived my life in a self-imposed pressure cooker.

Belinda Haan:

Absolutely everything that I have done has come with pressure like motherhood.

Belinda Haan:

I needed to be the best mother.

Belinda Haan:

And then I was hyper vigilantly assessing myself about how crap I

Belinda Haan:

was and all, every single thing that I've done has had so much pressure.

Belinda Haan:

And this year has been the first year.

Belinda Haan:

I was just talking to my mentor actually at Stanford.

Belinda Haan:

And I was saying that this year has just been a new.

Belinda Haan:

A complete paradigm shift in how I work, which is from joy and space and love,

Belinda Haan:

which I know sounds so corny, but it's the absence of pressure and I have never,

Belinda Haan:

ever done work without pressure so it is just, it means that I just feel

Belinda Haan:

like I'm more connected to my heart.

Belinda Haan:

And rather than just being constantly fueled by anxiety really?

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

So beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thanks for sharing that.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think it's really given me kind of a new feeling sense of what that feels like.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Because we're so conditioned with pressure, right.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

Beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

So that gives us a little story of your, you know, kind of

Sonya Stattmann:

your career and your history.

Sonya Stattmann:

What would you say?

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, you know, in, and you don't have to have a concrete answer for this.

Sonya Stattmann:

Cause I think it's, we're always under development of this question and we're

Sonya Stattmann:

always kind of exploring and we have different seasons of it as well, but, you

Sonya Stattmann:

know, what would you say is your life's work or maybe like a core tenant of

Sonya Stattmann:

sort of what you are here to give or do?

Sonya Stattmann:

Tell us a little bit about that.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

So when you spoke to me about this podcast, I just felt a whole body

Belinda Haan:

resonance with it because what this podcast is about is really what my work

Belinda Haan:

is, is so perfectly aligned because I think I've been, you know, I've been

Belinda Haan:

a self-help junkie my whole life and.

Belinda Haan:

Trying to do all the things and look for the silver bullets and everything, you

Belinda Haan:

know, really putting a lot of striving into fixing myself and finding the

Belinda Haan:

solution and all of that kind of thing.

Belinda Haan:

And where I'm, where I'm at now is that it's really uncovering

Belinda Haan:

and coming back home to ourselves.

Belinda Haan:

And so that, I, I really feel like, you know, it's maybe not a concrete answer.

Belinda Haan:

Creating the conditions either through one on ones or intimate group kind of

Belinda Haan:

scenarios or through card deck, or, you know, there's lots of creative

Belinda Haan:

modalities, I guess, that I engage in, but really at the core of it, it is

Belinda Haan:

about coming home to ourselves and to our true nature and, and really um, looking

Belinda Haan:

at what are the coverings that we need to remove to be able to access that.

Belinda Haan:

And.

Belinda Haan:

I guess one of the things that I really love is holding space, holding

Belinda Haan:

space in groups and individually for.

Belinda Haan:

People to be able to access that, you know, be able to access their true

Belinda Haan:

nature and also be able to create more self knowledge and wisdom and embodiment

Belinda Haan:

around what are the, the barriers as well.

Belinda Haan:

And there's a beautiful Rumi quote that says it's not my purpose to seek love.

Belinda Haan:

It's to see the patterns, barriers, and beliefs that stop love from flowing in.

Belinda Haan:

And I feel like that is my journey.

Belinda Haan:

And it's also my purpose to like, they're actually very interconnected.

Belinda Haan:

And I think because I've experienced so much self criticism and shame, and

Belinda Haan:

I know that what, what life is like when that is, is your sort of reality.

Belinda Haan:

And.

Belinda Haan:

So I've got a special interest in that I guess, and, and special interests,

Belinda Haan:

particularly for sensitive women that have that kind of punishing energy that

Belinda Haan:

they're having to experience, because I think that that's a whole whole thing

Belinda Haan:

in, in itself to build that compassion and space to be able to come home.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, you know, this is exactly why I thought you'd be such a, a

Sonya Stattmann:

beautiful piece of this podcast, because I know that you are living.

Sonya Stattmann:

This, this practice, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Cause it's a practice, it's a constant practice.

Sonya Stattmann:

And you know, I know that you're really embodying it and living it

Sonya Stattmann:

and playing with it and experiencing it and struggling with it and like,

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, and, and I think that's.

Sonya Stattmann:

That's the benefit.

Sonya Stattmann:

All of us are kind of bringing to this podcast is we don't have all the answers,

Sonya Stattmann:

but we're actively working with this.

Sonya Stattmann:

We're actively reclaiming pieces of ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

We're actively helping other people reclaim pieces of themselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it's this crazy journey that we can share.

Belinda Haan:

Yes, absolutely.

Belinda Haan:

And it's, yeah, it's not perfect.

Belinda Haan:

It's not linear, you know, it's messy and complex and,

Belinda Haan:

and also just so worth it too.

Sonya Stattmann:

Oh, so worth it.

Sonya Stattmann:

I would not trade a single experience that I've had in my life.

Sonya Stattmann:

All the tragedy, all the challenge, all of it has brought me to who

Sonya Stattmann:

I am to the insights I've had.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, you know, I think, yeah, I wouldn't trade any of it, you know?

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

So love hearing a little bit about your purpose and life's work.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think that's so beautiful and, you know, it gives us kind of this

Sonya Stattmann:

insight into why you're here and you know what we're gonna talk about.

Sonya Stattmann:

so maybe tell us a little bit about that.

Sonya Stattmann:

What, what are you gonna talk about this season?

Sonya Stattmann:

What do you wanna bring to the table this season?

Sonya Stattmann:

Because I wanna give people a little teaser of what, of

Sonya Stattmann:

what we're gonna be exploring.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Love to.

Belinda Haan:

So grounded spirituality is one of the, one of the topics and.

Belinda Haan:

I'm really excited about this one because I think there's, there's so

Belinda Haan:

many people that are really seeking more inner connection and even

Belinda Haan:

connection to something bigger than themselves, but don't necessarily.

Belinda Haan:

Know where to start or, you know, maybe they've got a little bit of

Belinda Haan:

cynicism, which I definitely have had in my journey as well around

Belinda Haan:

spirituality and that sort of thing.

Belinda Haan:

So what I'd really love to talk about in, in grounded spirituality is how.

Belinda Haan:

How spirituality and the, and, you know, the context of spirituality

Belinda Haan:

can be really a beautiful container for us to reclaim ourselves.

Belinda Haan:

So talking about, you know, building skills around mindful awareness and

Belinda Haan:

compassion, and also understanding who we are, and what's important to us and taking

Belinda Haan:

steps towards values aligned action.

Belinda Haan:

And building our own wisdom.

Belinda Haan:

I think that those sort of four ingredients can really go a long

Belinda Haan:

way for us to be able to reclaim ourselves and live a really rich

Belinda Haan:

and fulfilling meaningful life.

Belinda Haan:

So that's that's that episode?

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

And what I love about it too, is that we're gonna kind of unpack and

Sonya Stattmann:

explore what spirituality means, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like there's, it's this word we throw out and lots of people say it and,

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, but, but what does it mean?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, and then to be grounded in it, what does that mean?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, I think it's gonna be really fun to kind of

Sonya Stattmann:

explore a different perspective around that and unpack that.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

And I think because I've got the science background and slightly cynical, I

Belinda Haan:

think that that's part of what I can bring to that conversation, I think.

Belinda Haan:

Um, Yeah, so that's so that's that one.

Belinda Haan:

And then there's a self abandonment one which, you know, I know what this is

Belinda Haan:

like and I think it's probably been my biggest uncovering and continually.

Belinda Haan:

My biggest uncovering.

Belinda Haan:

And so I'd really, I, I really feel like this is one of the biggest

Belinda Haan:

barriers to reclaiming ourselves is the ways That we do abandon ourselves.

Belinda Haan:

And, and that's from a, like, I I'm re interested to talk about it from

Belinda Haan:

a biological, psychological, social, spiritual lens, because I think there's

Belinda Haan:

a number of factors that play into that.

Belinda Haan:

It's a complex kind of undertaking that I'm just, I I'm so embodied

Belinda Haan:

in what that feels like to abandon.

Belinda Haan:

Help and, and yeah, so I'm really excited to sort of look at that and

Belinda Haan:

obviously self criticism and shame will be a big part of that conversation

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

and people pleasing and all of that kind of

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm-hmm

Belinda Haan:

And then the final is forgetting and remembering.

Belinda Haan:

And this is, I think this will be really fun because I, I feel like as

Belinda Haan:

a seeker I have just been looking for the silver bullet, as I mentioned

Belinda Haan:

earlier, to just be blist out and spacious, constantly and full of

Belinda Haan:

gratitude and all of that that I've.

Belinda Haan:

What a just nonlinear journey awakening is and becoming more conscious is, and it is

Belinda Haan:

really that contraction and expansion for getting and remembering and just putting

Belinda Haan:

a little, putting some more words and awareness around that, because I think

Belinda Haan:

that there's not a lot talked about.

Belinda Haan:

In, in the personal development, spiritual development journey about that.

Belinda Haan:

And I think that that creates a lot of shame for people because as they become

Belinda Haan:

more aware, they're, they're also more aware of all the ways that they're

Belinda Haan:

mindless and disconnected and all of that.

Belinda Haan:

And so that in itself can be a real barrier.

Belinda Haan:

The ways that we judge ourselves on how we're progressing in the

Belinda Haan:

spiritual development journey or personal development journey.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think until you've had.

Sonya Stattmann:

A lot of, you know, kinda like you were talking about earlier until you've like,

Sonya Stattmann:

had a lot of, kind of these cycles, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Cycles of you know, growth and darkness and light and like, you know, it takes a

Sonya Stattmann:

while to recognize, oh, this is normal.

Sonya Stattmann:

This is like, this is the way,

Belinda Haan:

this is the path

Sonya Stattmann:

yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like otherwise yeah, you, you think, oh, you get this inside.

Sonya Stattmann:

And you're like, Ooh, that's.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like you, you feel you're like I'm worthy now.

Sonya Stattmann:

And then all of a sudden, a little while later, I love the way you described

Sonya Stattmann:

it earlier, where you said, you know, you get hooked then you forget, you

Sonya Stattmann:

forget, wait, you forget, you're worthy.

Sonya Stattmann:

You forget that.

Sonya Stattmann:

You're strong.

Sonya Stattmann:

You forget that.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's okay to make mistakes.

Sonya Stattmann:

You forget.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like, and then you have to go through this whole process of

Sonya Stattmann:

remembering, and then you forget again.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And then I think when you forget and you become more aware,

Belinda Haan:

there's a certain amount of panic.

Belinda Haan:

That happens.

Belinda Haan:

Like, am I never gonna be advocate?

Belinda Haan:

And, and also like, I've tried every trick to get back to remembering.

Belinda Haan:

like

Belinda Haan:

just the good kind of striver that I am.

Belinda Haan:

And actually it's, as soon as you give up, then that's when that happens.

Belinda Haan:

So

Sonya Stattmann:

I know, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like, no matter how much will you use, no matter how much

Sonya Stattmann:

brain and power use, how much you calculate, how much you plan.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like, yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's when you finally just don't care anymore about achieving it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Don't don't seek it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Don't look for it.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's like, then it's right there.

Belinda Haan:

Uh, You wouldn't believe the lavish illustrations and mind maps.

Belinda Haan:

I've done to remember.

Belinda Haan:

just thinking that it's an intellectual exercise,

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's gonna be, so it's gonna be so good to

Sonya Stattmann:

unpack that and talk about,

Sonya Stattmann:

I think how the mind gets in the way, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, you know, in what ways, where we bring on all these beautiful

Sonya Stattmann:

mind powers, like I, I'm not one to dismiss the power of the mind and

Sonya Stattmann:

its place and things, you know, just like our ego, our ego has a place.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's not a bad thing, but it's like when we, when we let that rule, you

Sonya Stattmann:

know, Just it, it operates in an area.

Sonya Stattmann:

It does not belong.

Belinda Haan:

Yes, absolutely.

Belinda Haan:

Absolutely.

Sonya Stattmann:

okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

Well, that's beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I'm so excited.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm really thankful.

Sonya Stattmann:

You're here.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm super excited for the journey we're gonna have and I've been

Sonya Stattmann:

loving kind of ending these.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, meet the cohost episodes with a little bit of a rapid fire question time.

Sonya Stattmann:

So, so, you know, we're gonna, we took it down deep and now we're gonna

Sonya Stattmann:

bring it up a little bit into the lighter realm, but, you know, tell us

Sonya Stattmann:

a little bit about your favorite books.

Sonya Stattmann:

Now, I know this is gonna be hard for you

Belinda Haan:

gosh.

Sonya Stattmann:

but maybe just a few of your favorite

Belinda Haan:

of the thousand books.

Belinda Haan:

I've read

Belinda Haan:

okay.

Belinda Haan:

So how many can I choose?

Sonya Stattmann:

I don't know, like four or five is fine.

Belinda Haan:

okay, so belonging here by Judith Blackstone, which I think

Belinda Haan:

the subline for that is something like.

Belinda Haan:

Something about being spiritually sensitive.

Belinda Haan:

I'm like, yep.

Belinda Haan:

Sign me out.

Belinda Haan:

That is me.

Belinda Haan:

And when I read this book, I just thought.

Belinda Haan:

That it just felt so validating to ha to be that someone

Belinda Haan:

has written a book about you

Belinda Haan:

And so that kind of blew up that I'm, I'm crazy kind of, that was the start of just

Belinda Haan:

blowing, blowing up some of those beliefs.

Belinda Haan:

And I really think books are so powerful in being able to really shift things.

Belinda Haan:

And then, oh, I've recently read a book this year called the

Belinda Haan:

extraordinary power of being ordinary.

Sonya Stattmann:

Hmm.

Belinda Haan:

I think that a lot of people would never pick up that book

Belinda Haan:

because like, it's so countercultural, like you've gotta just do all this

Belinda Haan:

stuff and be famous and all of that.

Belinda Haan:

And this book again, I just felt totally seen.

Belinda Haan:

And just really it just helped me to become really grounded in what my purpose

Belinda Haan:

is, because I think I was just under the belief or, or illusion, or just signed

Belinda Haan:

up to cultural messaging that I needed to do something really big in the world.

Belinda Haan:

I needed to change the world and all of that.

Belinda Haan:

And like that as a sensitive person was just like, oh my

Belinda Haan:

God, that just seems too hard.

Belinda Haan:

And how am I gonna be able to do that?

Belinda Haan:

So this just feel, I just feel so grounded in actually just living an ordinary life.

Belinda Haan:

If I can just be present and loving as much as possible, then that's

Belinda Haan:

really more meaningful than, you know, having some kind of successful,

Belinda Haan:

you know, inverted commas business.

Belinda Haan:

That, that feels more meaningful to me.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Belinda Haan:

probably the other book.

Belinda Haan:

That has really changed me as well is called motherhood facing and

Belinda Haan:

finding ourselves by Lisa Marano.

Belinda Haan:

And it's a deep book.

Belinda Haan:

Um, it's by Yian analyst.

Belinda Haan:

And so it's just really deep look at motherhood and.

Belinda Haan:

The illusions of motherhood and the places that we go to in motherhood,

Belinda Haan:

including all of those seemingly socially unacceptable thoughts and

Belinda Haan:

behaviors that we engage in because motherhood pushes us to our limits.

Belinda Haan:

So it just uncovers a lot of those illusions and it was

Belinda Haan:

very, very healing for me to.

Belinda Haan:

To read that book.

Belinda Haan:

So there, there there's a, a few of the

Belinda Haan:

many books that I

Sonya Stattmann:

like, I'm gonna go out.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm just gonna, like, every, everybody I've asked, I'm like,

Sonya Stattmann:

Ooh, I'm just gonna write down their

Belinda Haan:

add it to your wish list.

Sonya Stattmann:

Add it to my wishlist.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Add it to my day in bed when I wanna read all

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

Awesome.

Sonya Stattmann:

So how about favorite music?

Belinda Haan:

Favorite music.

Belinda Haan:

Oh, well, I'm, I'm pretty stuck in the eighties and nineties but, but I got,

Belinda Haan:

I got a notification from Spotify about a year ago to say that I was in the top

Belinda Haan:

1% of listeners for dear Evan Hansen, soundtrack , which is , which I think that

Belinda Haan:

maybe that might be my favorite album.

Belinda Haan:

If Spotify is recognizing me.

Belinda Haan:

And that cuz it was just like, I went with my best friends to New

Belinda Haan:

York for our 40th and we went and saw this musical, dear Evan Hansen.

Belinda Haan:

And I have never been so moved by any experience than watching that.

Belinda Haan:

And I maybe cuz I wasn't sure what to expect, but I would, there was a lot

Belinda Haan:

of ugly crying that was happening, but not just for me, the whole audience.

Belinda Haan:

And so the music just really moves me.

Belinda Haan:

So.

Sonya Stattmann:

Oh, I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

So beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

Awesome.

Sonya Stattmann:

And then how about favorite TV shows?

Belinda Haan:

Oh, shit's Creek.

Sonya Stattmann:

yeah,

Belinda Haan:

Oh, I just love every single character.

Belinda Haan:

It is just so amazing.

Belinda Haan:

Like I, Ben and I watched the first few episodes and, and really didn't like it.

Belinda Haan:

And then won all these awards.

Belinda Haan:

And so we thought, oh, we should give it another go.

Belinda Haan:

And I've watched the whole, the whole series, maybe three or four times.

Belinda Haan:

It's just so heartwarming and just, yeah, the characters are just amazing.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay, cuz I'll have, maybe have to give it another try.

Sonya Stattmann:

Cuz I did that as well, where I

Belinda Haan:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

or two and I was like, mm nah,

Belinda Haan:

have to get through the first season and then your gold.

Belinda Haan:

It's just solid gold after that

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

foods?

Belinda Haan:

favorite feeds.

Belinda Haan:

Well, I would've said Italian, but I am so sick of Italian food and well, Mexican,

Belinda Haan:

I do love Mexican and I love Chi as well.

Belinda Haan:

So yeah, lots of, lots of different foods.

Sonya Stattmann:

my three favorites.

Sonya Stattmann:

Do.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

Last question.

Sonya Stattmann:

Last Robert fire question.

Sonya Stattmann:

Favorite indulgence.

Belinda Haan:

Favorite indulgence?

Belinda Haan:

Well, going on retreat.

Belinda Haan:

It's probably, I

Belinda Haan:

just love it.

Belinda Haan:

Like I love, especially now that I've done a lot of sort of inner work and

Belinda Haan:

kind of can see things a bit more clearly having, having retreat solitude is just

Belinda Haan:

like the most delicious thing ever.

Belinda Haan:

Like I went to the blue mountains a couple of months ago on a writing retreat

Belinda Haan:

for these compassion cards on my own.

Belinda Haan:

And it was just like, Best thing

Sonya Stattmann:

Oh, my gosh.

Sonya Stattmann:

I would like, oh, I can just only imagine.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, this it's the, it's the solitude, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It's the

Sonya Stattmann:

space.

Belinda Haan:

Yes.

Belinda Haan:

And that's what I need.

Belinda Haan:

Cause I think I I'm quite outgoing and love people and all that sort of thing.

Belinda Haan:

So I just have realized I need to have that solitude as well,

Belinda Haan:

to be able to refill, to be able to be that person as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you so much for all that you've shared with us today.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I mean, anything you'd like to share with the audience and the listeners or

Sonya Stattmann:

any final thoughts you have before we kind of wrap up this wonderful episode.

Belinda Haan:

I'm just, yeah, I'm really excited.

Belinda Haan:

And I think, you know, actually even saying yes to this podcast

Belinda Haan:

has been a personal development journey for me because all of the

Belinda Haan:

stuff comes up, you know, all the unworthy stories, imposter syndrome,

Belinda Haan:

and all of that all comes up and.

Belinda Haan:

I realized that every, that may always be with me, but just taking one step

Belinda Haan:

in front, you know, in front of the other has just been really useful.

Belinda Haan:

And so, yeah, I really, I'm just so excited to be part of this journey

Belinda Haan:

with you and the other beautiful women and yeah, it's just gonna be amazing.

Sonya Stattmann:

It truly is.

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you so much, Belinda, for being here.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you to all the listeners for being here and we will see you next week.

Belinda Haan:

I hope you enjoyed the show.

Belinda Haan:

If you wanna learn more about this topic, head over to Belinda ha.com.

Belinda Haan:

You can sign up for my newsletter to be the first to find out about my

Belinda Haan:

classes and events have an amazing day, and we'll see you next time.

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