Artwork for podcast The Becoming the Big Me Podcast
Addiction, Teen Pregnancy, and Spiritual Awakening
Episode 118th March 2021 • The Becoming the Big Me Podcast • Djemilah Birnie
00:00:00 00:25:24

Share Episode

Shownotes

We all have a story to tell- a past that makes us who we are. In this inaugural episode of the Becoming the Big Me podcast I share with you mine. From drug addiction and teen motherhood to building a business and my spiritual awakening. I have walked through the depths of hell and made it to the other side. This episode will give you a sneak peek into my journey and what brought me to be the woman, mom, and business owner I am today.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.

I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks

Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge

Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective


Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇


https://djemilah.com/


https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/


https://www.instagram.com/mimi.the.genie/


https://www.tiktok.com/@djemilah

Transcripts

Speaker:

I was not going to be another statistic. My daughter was not

Speaker:

going to be another statistic. I knew that I had to do everything

Speaker:

in my power to create something larger to create something

Speaker:

better to make a life worth living for the both of us.

Speaker:

Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big

Speaker:

me podcast. I'm your host,

Speaker:

Djemilah, Birnie. And together, we will be stepping

Speaker:

into our highest potential, exploring all things mind,

Speaker:

body, and soul. With justice, major business,

Speaker:

you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for

Speaker:

change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old

Speaker:

self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can

Speaker:

positively influence your business, your community, and

Speaker:

ultimately,

Speaker:

the world.

Speaker:

Without further ado, let's dive right into it.

Speaker:

Hello, Hello,

Speaker:

I am so excited to have you here joining me today for the first

Speaker:

episode. Yes. Now, this has been a long time coming. And it has

Speaker:

been something that has been on my heart for a year now and

Speaker:

my

Speaker:

head, my mind my limiting beliefs. I allowed them to hold

Speaker:

me back from starting, but no longer you were going where I'm

Speaker:

diving in. And I'm so excited to be on this journey. And I am so

Speaker:

excited to bring you along with me on this journey. Now, this

Speaker:

podcast is going to be a combination of interviews with

Speaker:

lots of amazing, amazing beautiful solopreneurs

Speaker:

entrepreneurs and spiritual minded individuals and a

Speaker:

collection of monologues that I will be sharing with you just

Speaker:

about all encompassing mind, body, soul, and just a little

Speaker:

bit of business. I am an entrepreneur, I am a business

Speaker:

owner, a solopreneur, a creative a visionary, and a multi

Speaker:

passionate being. And I can't wait to dive in to all of these

Speaker:

topics. to really help you grow and develop into your highest

Speaker:

self and step into the human being a you are meant to be the

Speaker:

person that you were put on this planet to be. Now as I start

Speaker:

this podcast, I find it fitting for this first episode, to be a

Speaker:

place where I can share my story. We all have a story, a

Speaker:

pass that makes us

Speaker:

who we are. And this this is mine. I grew up in a broken

Speaker:

home,

Speaker:

as many of us do these days, bouncing back from Parent to

Speaker:

Parent,

Speaker:

never really having a sense of home or making really strong

Speaker:

bonds with friends

Speaker:

and connections.

Speaker:

And

Speaker:

as a child, I never really realized how it affected me.

Speaker:

But it did

Speaker:

it it affected me greatly. So much so that by the age of 13 I

Speaker:

found myself

Speaker:

drinking

Speaker:

every single day in class in my coffee cup.

Speaker:

Not to be cool not

Speaker:

to share with others. In fact, nobody even knew it was just my

Speaker:

way of dealing with my pain of being able to feel okay. By the

Speaker:

age of 14 I was doing lines of ketamine in the bathroom off my

Speaker:

math book. And before I knew it, my drug problem just continued

Speaker:

to escalate.

Speaker:

I find myself I found myself

Speaker:

doing anything really, that I could get my hands on. At the

Speaker:

age of 18 I mean, by the age of 16, I was 18, barely. By the

Speaker:

time that my daughter was born, I found myself homeless, living

Speaker:

in a tent, and a full blown heroin addict. That is also when

Speaker:

I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, my now six year

Speaker:

old. That is when everything hit me. I didn't know what I was

Speaker:

going to do. I didn't know how I was going to move forward. All I

Speaker:

knew was that where I was, was not okay.

Speaker:

The man that I was with was not okay. Now, at this point, I had

Speaker:

absolutely no self worth. I had been beaten down in an abusive

Speaker:

relationship with a man who is also an addict. When I found out

Speaker:

I was pregnant, I knew that this child, this being this innocent

Speaker:

soul, did not deserve the life that I was living. She needed

Speaker:

more. She didn't do anything. wasn't her fault that her mom

Speaker:

was a stupid, pathetic loser. So I needed to change. And I needed

Speaker:

to change real quick cuz baby was coming soon. It was not

Speaker:

hard. It was not hard to leave that man. It was not hard to get

Speaker:

out of that situation. But I had to find the strength inside me

Speaker:

to do it. If I was going to keep that trial. Nobody thought I

Speaker:

should. And I can see how from the outside looking in. wasn't

Speaker:

necessarily, you know, the ideal situation wasn't something any

Speaker:

child should be brought into.

Speaker:

But you see, what happened

Speaker:

was that child, she's sparked a fire inside my heart. A fire

Speaker:

that has kept burning and burning. Since that moment. I

Speaker:

knew that she had the odds stacked against her. I mean,

Speaker:

heck, her mom was a freakin drug addict, teen mom.

Speaker:

I knew

Speaker:

that if I wanted this kid to have any chance, I was going to

Speaker:

have to do everything in my power to be there for her in the

Speaker:

best way possible. I was not going to be another statistic.

Speaker:

My daughter was not going to be another statistic. I knew that I

Speaker:

had to do everything in my power to create something larger to

Speaker:

create something better to make a life worth living for the both

Speaker:

of us.

Speaker:

I wanted to give her

Speaker:

the best start possible. She already had the odds stacked

Speaker:

against her.

Speaker:

So I had to

Speaker:

create something and I had no clue what but I just knew that I

Speaker:

had to create something that would allow me to stay home with

Speaker:

her for at least that first year. Everything I had been

Speaker:

reading was talking all about the importance of breastfeeding

Speaker:

and the importance of that first year. And I wanted to make that

Speaker:

happen for her. So paddling, mostly because of the guilt that

Speaker:

I had inside.

Speaker:

You see, I didn't even know, I was pregnant until the

Speaker:

end of my third trimester. I mean, the end of my first

Speaker:

trimester, not my third.

Speaker:

The thing is, when you've been using drugs for so long, your

Speaker:

body changes. And I hadn't had a period in a very long time.

Speaker:

The only reason

Speaker:

that I even knew or questioned

Speaker:

anything at all, was because every time I would try to smoke

Speaker:

a cigarette, I would throw up. One of my friends said to me,

Speaker:

You ever thought that you might be pregnant? I was like, no, not

Speaker:

possible.

Speaker:

I didn't think

Speaker:

that I could get pregnant. Because I wasn't having a

Speaker:

period.

Speaker:

Silly me.

Speaker:

I was wrong. Um, but my friend, she insisted. She's like, just

Speaker:

get a test. Just see. And so she actually bought me a test and I

Speaker:

ended up taking it and Yep,

Speaker:

sure enough, I was pregnant.

Speaker:

But because I had been using, I was using heroin. That whole

Speaker:

beginning of my pregnancy, I knew that I might have a long

Speaker:

road ahead. And I had to do what I needed to do. To create a

Speaker:

better life for this child. I was not going to let people the

Speaker:

naysayers the haters be right. I wasn't going to let the people

Speaker:

who told me I should get rid of her be right. So I decided,

Speaker:

screw you guys. I'm going to create fucking magical last

Speaker:

life. My daughter and I were gonna have an amazing life. I

Speaker:

took the little money I had. And YouTube. And I started my first

Speaker:

business. What was it you might ask? custom organic cloth

Speaker:

diapers. The funny thing is, when I first decided on my

Speaker:

product, I had no idea how to sell. Thankfully, in this 21st

Speaker:

century, we have the blessing of the internet. And I had all the

Speaker:

information I needed right at my fingertips. So I taught myself

Speaker:

how to sew on YouTube, started creating drafting patterns and

Speaker:

gifting them to the other teen moms at my teen moms school and

Speaker:

the moms in my support groups to have them,

Speaker:

test them out and give

Speaker:

me their opinions and get reviews. I ended up finding a

Speaker:

product that I was happy with. And I was off to the

Speaker:

races.

Speaker:

And it was wonderful. It was hard. It was fucking hard. But

Speaker:

how was he able to create a business off of $50 and my

Speaker:

phone. I built my business completely online, on Facebook.

Speaker:

And I was selling all across the United States Do you like all

Speaker:

over US, Canada and Australia. After two years, I had grown so

Speaker:

large that I could no longer keep up with demand. And I had

Speaker:

no clue how to sail, how to scale. I also had an active two

Speaker:

year old running around getting everything I found myself having

Speaker:

to stay up all night and so because I could no longer doing

Speaker:

it doing it during the day. That's when I ended up closing

Speaker:

my doors. That business served its personal purpose and it was

Speaker:

time for me to move on. And up we're entering the corporate

Speaker:

world of sales in the wireless industry. In less than a year, I

Speaker:

was promoted from a mere sales rep to having my own store.

Speaker:

After only a couple of months, I had improved the profit of that

Speaker:

location by over 300%. That's when I realized I knew how to

Speaker:

build businesses. And I knew how to utilize

Speaker:

the internet. So I ended up leaving

Speaker:

that corporate life, once again, for my daughter, I loved my job.

Speaker:

But I have a full time nanny, and never got to see my kid. I

Speaker:

was working six days a week commuting in Seattle. And on the

Speaker:

day, I didn't come in, I was on the phone all day with my

Speaker:

employees. So once again, it was time for a shift.

Speaker:

And I shifted. After that,

Speaker:

I got into a multi level marketing company. And that's

Speaker:

where I got my

Speaker:

introduction

Speaker:

to the personal development world. Now, I still had a very,

Speaker:

very, very long ways to go. But the seed was being planted. I

Speaker:

didn't stay with that company for too long. It served its

Speaker:

purpose. It did what it needed. But I realized that my passion

Speaker:

was in helping other people's businesses grow. So that's what

Speaker:

I started to do. I started freelancing, doing all sorts of

Speaker:

different digital marketing tasks. That's what leads me into

Speaker:

where I am today. Really, it was the precursor. At this point. I

Speaker:

was not low whoo, whoo, quantum manifesting goddess. spiritual

Speaker:

being that I am today. In fact, high was no, were near it. Those

Speaker:

people drove me insane. My best friend growing up mom was this

Speaker:

Dario? Typical, whoo, whoo, out there, hippie dippie. lady who

Speaker:

would wear cowboy boots for a week straight saying, I have to

Speaker:

wear them. 24 seven, until money comes in. We thought she was

Speaker:

insane. But the funny thing is, every time she pulled out her

Speaker:

boots, money came. So I actually had my spiritual awakening, my

Speaker:

accidental spiritual awakening, about a year and a half ago.

Speaker:

And it came

Speaker:

in the form of a near death experience. I mean, it wasn't. I

Speaker:

don't know if I can say near death, but

Speaker:

I'll just tell you the story. So I was taking a shower, it was

Speaker:

late at night, my daughter was asleep in her bed. And as I was

Speaker:

in the shower,

Speaker:

the my sound

Speaker:

went out, my hearing, my sound went out. My hearing faded out,

Speaker:

and I could no longer hear the water from my shower, hitting

Speaker:

the floor. And then my vision started creeping in. It was at

Speaker:

this moment that I knew I was going down. I was about to pass

Speaker:

out. My whole life started flashing before my eyes. what

Speaker:

was going to happen? Was my daughter gonna wake up to me

Speaker:

dead in the shower with no one here. No one to know.

Speaker:

alone.

Speaker:

I desperately started to try and get out of the shower. I just

Speaker:

had to get out of the house. If I could get out of the house.

Speaker:

Someone would find me and someone would know that she was

Speaker:

there. Those were the only thoughts going through my head.

Speaker:

I didn't make it out of the house. I barely made it out of

Speaker:

the bathroom. When I finally went down for the count

Speaker:

No,

Speaker:

I was not I'm still not sure why I passed out. I can only you

Speaker:

know, give credit to the divine universe for that. Really. I

Speaker:

know I wasn't passed out for Very long, because when I woke

Speaker:

up my shower water was still warm.

Speaker:

But when I woke up, I was not on any,

Speaker:

in any dimension

Speaker:

that I had ever experienced before. I could say there was

Speaker:

rainbows everywhere I could see sounds and hear people's

Speaker:

thoughts. In short, I felt like I had woken up in a mushroom

Speaker:

trip. I was freaked out. So much so that I went into the doctor,

Speaker:

the doctor said I was fine. And I was like, really, because

Speaker:

there's rainbows all around your head. But I just went along my

Speaker:

merry way. And continued, I was like, you know what's kind of

Speaker:

cool. I'm having this ability to influence thoughts and

Speaker:

conversations with my mind. Weird, never been able to do

Speaker:

that before I can understand people completely. For the first

Speaker:

time in my life, my mind was quiet. And I just felt a sense

Speaker:

of bliss. It was overwhelming, however, because I wasn't sure

Speaker:

what I was dealing with. Was I crazy, was I insane? Did I need

Speaker:

to check myself into a mental Institute, I wasn't quite sure.

Speaker:

I no longer knew what was real and what wasn't had I actually

Speaker:

died was I in a different place? rehab what was going on. So I

Speaker:

started begging, I started praying to the universe as a

Speaker:

crease, make it stop, I can't handle it anymore. So after

Speaker:

about a month of living in that state,

Speaker:

it stopped.

Speaker:

But I was forever changed. I started diving deep into

Speaker:

spirituality, and the quantum field, I realize that that

Speaker:

experience happened to me for a reason. I needed to have a

Speaker:

belief in the energy and the power that we have. That's when

Speaker:

I started consciously manifesting things in my life.

Speaker:

And I was able to do it in an instant. Why? Because my belief

Speaker:

was already there. I had experienced it, I had felt it.

Speaker:

And it was crazy. Ever since then, I have dedicated myself

Speaker:

into diving into all things quantum

Speaker:

spirituality, subconscious programming, and

Speaker:

raising the vibration and the consciousness of this planet.

Speaker:

I discovered

Speaker:

neuro linguistic programming and hypnosis. So I decided, heck,

Speaker:

let's get trained on this ish. I want to learn how to tap into my

Speaker:

subconscious program and I want to learn how to help other

Speaker:

people tap into their subconscious programming, and

Speaker:

rewire the limiting beliefs that have been holding us back for so

Speaker:

long.

Speaker:

We all have infinite

Speaker:

potential inside of us. We have the power to create anything our

Speaker:

hearts desires. We are spiritual beings living in a physical

Speaker:

reality.

Speaker:

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming

Speaker:

the big me podcast. If you found value in today's episode, make

Speaker:

sure to leave us a review and share this episode with someone

Speaker:

who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows.

Speaker:

Are you curious about learning more about harnessing the power

Speaker:

of your subconscious mind. then join the free rewire challenge

Speaker:

where we dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works

Speaker:

and give you some tangible action steps to begin rewiring

Speaker:

it to start If you go to bit dot Lee slash rewire challenge that

Speaker:

bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm your host

Follow

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube