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I'm diving into a big question today: if I'm feeling grateful and content, can I still dream for more? It's a real paradox, right? I'm exploring whether wanting more means I'm not happy with what I already have. I got some great feedback from last week's chat about happiness, which got me thinking about this idea of contentment versus ambition. So, let's dig into this together and see how we can balance feeling grateful for now while still dreaming for a brighter future.

It is a really interesting question, one I have grappled with for some time. If we are truly grateful and content with everything we have and our lives as they are, then is it painful and wrong to want more?

Gratitude and dreams often feel like they’re on opposite sides of a seesaw, don’t they? In this podcast, we dive into this big question: Can you be super grateful for what you have and still dream about more? It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at both sides. On one hand, we’ve got contentment, that cozy feeling of being okay with our lives as they are. On the other, there’s that itch to reach for more, to push boundaries and aim higher. We share a touching email from Amanda, who wonders if being content might stop us from dreaming big. It’s a thought-provoking chat that challenges us to think about where we draw the line between appreciating the now and chasing future goals.

Throughout the conversation, we reflect on the paradox of happiness. We can find joy in the mundane, and yet, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aspire for bigger things. Sometimes, wanting more can actually inspire us and lead to personal growth. We share stories from our own lives, including my journey from meditation coach to mayor of Truro, illustrating how striving for more can coexist with gratitude. It’s about understanding that happiness isn’t tied to what we have or don’t have, but rather how we relate to our desires and aspirations.

In the end, we emphasize the importance of being present while still allowing ourselves to dream. It’s not about sacrificing one for the other; it’s about finding balance. Through this lens, we explore how our desires can enrich our lives and encourage us to connect more deeply with our current reality. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and let’s navigate this intricate dance between gratitude and ambition together!

Takeaways:

• In this episode, we explore the balance between feeling content and dreaming about more.
• We discuss how happiness is often found in the ordinary moments of life, not just big events.
• It's important to recognize that wanting more doesn't mean you're not grateful for what you have.
• Being content now is key to happiness; dreaming should not overshadow your present joy.
• We reflect on how attachment can lead to suffering and how to find peace in the moment.
• True contentment comes from understanding and accepting life as it is, not just what we want.

Hey, welcome.

On this week's podcast, I'm asking the question, if I'm grateful and content with what I have, can I dream?

Can I have more?

Can I?

Is it okay to want more?

And I'm gonna briefly go back to last week's podcast, and I got some wonderful emails about last week's podcast, and this is why I want to revisit.

So really, it's a part two of the Paradox of Happiness.

I'm Stephen Webb, and this is Stillness in the Storms, the podcast that helps you to think differently and helps you to find a little calmness when things around you are going wrong.

I was really surprised by the amount of emails and the amount of attention that last week's podcast got.

Maybe it was because I haven't done a podcast for a while or maybe something else, but there was one email that really stood out to me, and I'm going to read part of it now, and it was from a lady called Amanda.

And.

And I love getting your email.

So please email me.

Please head over to stevenweb.com and I will try to reply to every single email.

I do get a lot, but I do try to reply to comments and emails and anything that comes my way, and I do take notice of all the reviews and everything I wrote up.

So really, thank you for that.

Okay, just before I go to that email, I just want to thank.

Thank the.

Thank you for listening and thank you for sharing this podcast.

I really appreciate it.

I've been doing this podcast now well over 12 months, and there's sometimes some weeks I miss it, and some weeks, you know, I'm not.

I'm not brilliantly.

What do you call fluent about doing it every single week?

You know, focus.

I really should be, because I really enjoy doing it.

It's just sometimes I don't know what you.

What you want to hear or what I want to talk about, and I cannot get my words out.

So sometimes I'll record a podcast and I don't even release it.

I've got a lot of them.

Perhaps I'll do Stillness in the Storms, the unreleased podcast, at some point.

That'd be good.

Let me know if you want to hear some of them.

You know, that they may be all right.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'll let you be the judge of that.

If you want to hear the.

The Stillness in the Storms, the unreleased podcasts, let me know.

But Amanda emailed me, and it said, I've just listened to your latest podcast, which is really good, and Again, it was the podcast that says the paradox of happiness.

And in this podcast, I was saying that.

And in this podcast, I was saying that really, happiness isn't some.

A good experience.

Happiness isn't about getting something or anything like that.

That's about having good experiences.

Happiness is in the mundane, in the normal, you know, the everyday things.

Because if you're really down on your luck and having a hard time, just getting back to the normal is feeling happy again.

And if you're at a concert or anything like that, it's a wonderful experience.

But we often think that that's happiness.

It's not.

Happiness is really just.

Just there.

It's our.

It's what we are when we just.

When we just relax.

It's in this moment when we're not wanting or pushing away and things like that.

So that's what that podcast was about.

But if you haven't heard it, I urge you to go back and hear it.

But you'll get the gist of this podcast.

You won't need to go back to that one if you want to continue listening to this one.

What Amanda writes is, I understand that true happiness lies in being content.

But if you are content, does that mean that you can't dream?

What if you allowed yourself to feel so content, it resulted in never trying to achieve things?

Oh, boy, that's a good question.

Or you couldn't see better ways of doing things as you were so content doing things as you always did them.

That pull to better yourself, that pool to want more, that porter in a dream and build something in life.

You know, I. I'm the mayor of Truro now.

Last year I was a counselor.

Before I was a counselor, I was a meditation coach.

So I'm doing different things.

I'm.

You know, every week when I release a podcast, I. I look at the numbers, how many people listen to it, and every week, if it's growing, I feel a little better.

So it's that strange.

This is why it's a paradox, really.

It's that strangeness of, you know, being happy with what we got, being grateful for what we already have and that wanting more.

And I really did wrestle with this for quite a while when I discovered Buddhism, because I thought Buddhism was all about not wanting, and I had it wrong, that I think I had it wrong.

And very often I would ask some of my teachers and all that.

It's like, well, I still got desires.

I still got things I want to do, want to achieve.

You know, I want to write a book, and I want to sell lots of copies.

You know, I want to change people's lives and.

But where do you level that with this state of just happy and being grateful for what you have?

They're two different things, but they're the same thing as well.

And I remember watching a TV program a number of years ago now, not nearly 10 years ago, and they were doing up their small holding, and they had a nice little bungalow, and they had a little yard, and she had a couple of horses, and they were kept in an old barn.

And it was one of these programs that they go in and they do some work and they go back a few years later to see how it was.

Well, it does an interview with the lady, and she was saying that all she's ever wanted is a nice big barn for her horses.

And hopefully she could have several more horses.

And.

And that would be it.

That would be complete.

Then she's got everything she ever wanted.

And it was really spoke at like, that was it.

When she got there, that was it.

And they.

And then they went back at nearly the end of the program, five minutes to go, and they went back and said how they're doing.

And this was two years on now.

Then, of course, I don't know the whole story, and I'm somewhat judging and I'm somewhat using this example, but it went back and she'd had these built, she'd had an extra couple of horses, but things were really not that happy.

She wasn't happy.

Things had gone wrong in the relationship.

Life had taken another turn, and she just wasn't content.

You know, the barns weren't being used at this point and things like that.

Then there may have been a number of things in her life that were separate to the bar.

So, you know, I don't know what's going on in relationship and things like that.

So there may have been a lot of things out of her control.

But the point is that if you're not happy with what you have now, you won't be happy with what you get when you dream.

And I think that's the difference.

If I'm not happy with the number of viewers for my podcast this week, I'm not going to be happy next week because I will never be happy, because it will never be enough.

And I think this is where it comes down to the difference.

Being grateful and recognizing that enough is enough.

And even if I get more, that will be enough.

And this is what.

This is why it's so confusing and on.

It can change on a daily basis on a Minute to minute basis, you know, like if I get slightly hungry, I want some food.

If I get cold, I want to put a top on.

So I have desires, I want things.

But I've got a.

It's recognizing that none of it will really bring you any kind of full contentment unless you're already content with what you have.

And that's where it comes down to.

You already have enough to be happy, you have enough to be content.

You, you don't need anything more.

And that's the difference.

You don't want to be attached to that.

When I get this, I will be happy.

And also you don't want to get attached to.

Well, I should be grateful.

I've got more than most people in the world.

I've got a better income, I got a better job, you know, I've got my health, I should be grateful.

I shouldn't be unhappy, I shouldn't want, I shouldn't dream for more.

No, that's a different thing again.

See, really, there's nothing wrong with wanting and dreaming for more.

It only comes down to your attachment of what you think it would give you.

It's about attachment.

And this is what the Buddha could not make any, any more clearer.

Attachment is suffering.

So when I have that, or you can, you can become attached to.

Well, I need to be grateful for what I have.

I shouldn't want anything.

Eckhart Tolle went down that route of giving away, ending up nothing, ended up on a bench with a desire for a sandwich.

And he said, I've still got desires and wants.

I.

Of course, you're human, that's wonderfully human to have desires and wants to better the world, to better your life.

But it's recognizing that you cannot have any of those things right here, now.

And the Buddha sums this up really, really well in this quote.

And he says, health is the greatest gift, contentment, the greatest wealth, faithfulness, the best relationship.

Then of course, health is the greatest gift.

You know, no amount of money in the world, no amount of anything will replace health.

You know, if you haven't got your health, you really don't have much.

However, you can still have contentment.

So contentment, the greatest wealth.

And here's the the reason why he said contentment is the greatest wealth is because if you're content with what you have, if you lose everything, you'll still be okay.

And if you gain everything, you'll still be okay.

You know, Eckhart Tolle was asked on stage one day, someone said to him, it's okay for you, you're chilled and relaxed.

You're happy and you're giggly up there and you're doing your thing.

You've sold multiple books, you've got like seven houses around the world, you're rich.

And he's laughing in his way, you know, Eckhart Toli laughs and that was not a bad impression.

Actually, I, I should do that.

I got told the impressions.

I'm sure nobody's doing that in the world.

But anyway, anyway, he asked, any wonder you're happy and content?

And he laughs and he goes quiet for a minute and he replies, well, I've had nothing and I know I can be content and happy with nothing.

So therefore, yes, these things are nice to have, but I'm not attached to them.

So that's the answer.

And I know I've lost everything, you know, if I get into another relationship, I know I can lose that relationship and be okay.

I know I can go bankrupt and be okay, have a downturn in my health and be okay.

I can have an accident and be okay.

And knowing that leaves you with a non attachment to needing things.

If you've got to protect what you have because you fear not being happy without it, then that's an attachment to what you have.

Then you can be really grateful for what you have and be really content with what you have and still fear losing it.

That's a similar attachment, but the opposite one too.

The attachment of wanting more, wanting to better your life.

I want my daughter to grow up.

I want to see her successful and happy in her own right, and I want to see her flourish with children and, and, you know, flourish in a relationship.

You know, I want to grow old witnessing all that.

But if I sit here right now thinking that's what I need to be happy, then I won't be happy now.

I won't be content now with what I have.

So take a deep breath and be content with what you have right now.

That's the greatest wealth.

You know, what does the Buddha say about contentment as well?

In the one Buddhist tradition, contentment is not the fulfillment of what we want, but the understanding of what and how things are.

Practicing contentment means using our conscious choice to see what's here and accept things as they are with gratitude.

So that's the thing right here, right now, be grateful for this, this room, this ability to hear anything right now in your life.

Be grateful for that and accept it the way it is, because that is the way it is.

And that goes down to your desires and dreams and your wants to improve your life.

Accept that you're a human, you have desires and dreams, you know, it's what's built everything.

You know, if we did not have desires and dreams, we would be still in caves now and we wouldn't have even started finger painting.

It's what improves our lives, it's what improves society.

But we shouldn't, we shouldn't forego our life now, our lives now, for a life later.

That's what it points to.

You know, you have everything in your life to be content enough, you know, when is enough enough to be happy?

Can you ever have any more in this moment?

No.

You can never have any more money than you've got now because in 10 years time, you'll never have any more money than you have then, which will then be now.

It's always now, it's always here, it's always what it is.

And you cannot change what it is.

So I guess the answer is be careful to live your dream as if it can become a reality now.

Because then we become attached to and we miss what we have now.

Does that make any sense?

Because it kind of does when I think about it.

And then I blurt the words out and it's like, yeah, no, maybe did it.

I just even webb and this is doing us in the storms and you know, leave a review, let me know, head over to StephenWeb.com and send me a message.

I do read all your emails.

I try to read all the comments people comment on all different platforms because my podcast is listened to on about 30 different platforms now.

So if you really want me to see a comment and guarantee I'm going to see it, head over to stevenweb.com and send me an email there.

A contact contact us or contact me button at the top, right?

Where's contact me?

Because it's only me.

So that form goes to me.

Nobody else reads it.

Please say hi and and if you want to support me like Cheryl did this week, thank you, Cheryl.

I'm going to buy a book with your donations on buymeacoffee.com forward/stephen webb de appreciate that.

And if anybody else would like to do that, that's basically what I do is I buy books or I buy things that helps me to record my podcast and get editing done and do more meditations and things like that.

So thank you.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for staying this long.

Love you guys.

Namaste SA.