We meet Amber Délice, a full-service sex worker or companion based out of Denver. Our conversation ranges from discussing her innate ability to curate date experiences for her clients (and how COVID has impacted that) to dating as a sex worker.

Amber Délice Links:

Website: meetamberdelice.com

Twitter: @meetamberdelice

Instagram: @meetamberdelice

Things we mention:

Safe Sex Comics

Esther Perel

John Wineland

Art of Gathering by Priya Parker

Parker

Welcome to a sex workers Guide to the Galaxy, a show where the answer to life, the universe and everything, is sex workers. I'm your host Parker Westwood and it is my pleasure to bring to you today someone that I had the privilege of meeting, when they came to visit Detroit. Around the time of my birthday, they actually came to a birthday party of mine. Y'all don't need to know all of this. But it was a lovely time, lots of pole dancing and merriment was had and we immediately connected. I'm talking about the one and the only Amber Délice and I immediately knew I needed to have them on the what was then just a pipe dream of a podcast and here we are. The podcast is real and I did, we did have her on the show. So get ready, buckle your seat belts. This is a good one, we talk about how she has curated dates for clients, how she's drawn the kind of clients that she wants to her in her business, and we also talk about dating woes and tribulations among many other things. It's a it's a pretty rich interview. So I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and I see Amber on the show in the future as well. So be prepared for that. In any case, enjoy the interview. Thank you so much for taking the time today. I really appreciate it.

Amber Délice

I'm so happy to be here with you.

Parker

Yay! Okay, so for everyone. We're here with Amber Délice. I'm going to allow you to introduce yourself the way you prefer to be introduced. So, include pronoun and and all of that jazz.

Amber Délice

Oh, wow, I had never I've not introduced myself yet on the podcast. I am Amber Délice um my pronouns, are she her? And I am a woman on the internet that you can spend time with.

Parker

I Like that. Keep it simple. How would you classify the work that you do? Or describe the work that you do?

Amber Délice

Yeah, so I definitely use the term sex worker. But I I prefer companion. I'm fine with escort. But yeah, I do full-service sex work. And I noticed that in my work, I leaned toward having longer bookings that I can where I can help clients access deeper levels of intimacy within themselves. So yeah,

Parker

wonderful. And we're gonna talk more about that in a bit because I know that's a topic we want to dive into. But just to get a little background, how did you get started in the industry?

Amber Délice

Parker

I love that. Also the the events that you had planned. I want those right now. Like I want those now in the world. I mean, obviously COVID is here, but after COVID I want those in our lives.

Amber Délice

Yeah, it was it was so much fun to do and such a wild journey. For for some time. They were kind of like private underground events in Boulder that I hosted and They did they took quite a lot out of me, but they were. Yeah, I love them. There's such a beautiful memory.

Parker

Oh, it sounds like it. I have so many more questions about those things, but maybe.

Amber Délice

Yeah, yeah.

Parker

Yeah, that's that is a way to cool. It kind of like, I don't know if you've heard of the comic Safe Sex?

Amber Délice

No, I don't think so.

Parker

It's a comic. I'm going to put that in the show notes. But I'm also going to I wish I remembered names. I'm like, cursing myself for not having like names at the ready for this, but it's a comic called Safe Sex. And it's like this underground. The world is saved by sex workers. But there's like this underground sex worker. situation of like parties.

Amber Délice

Oh, I need that.

Parker

Yeah,

Amber Délice

that sounds great.

Parker

It's really great. Um, yeah, so reminds me of that, I will send you a link for that. But also put it in the show notes. For anyone listening. One of the questions I had written down is like, what, what has your journey looked like? Like to get to the work that you do now. So I know, you kind of took us through the like, step by step play by play logistical part, but like, I don't know, how would you describe your journey? Are there any sort of like growth moments that you would want to talk about?

Amber Délice

Parker

Yes,

Amber Délice

Like, I get it, it is it's sweet, because it's like, I see what you want. And like this is, you know, the the kind of cookie cutter like way that some of us start. And then we kind of like find, like, what is our unique expression through this? And so that yeah, that was part of part of my journey.

Parker

Yeah. Oh, that's all so relatable.

Amber Délice

Yeah, I'm curious more about you, too. Like, did you have a similar journey when you started Parker? And maybe you said this in another podcast, so I don't want to

Parker

No that's totally

Amber Délice

[Garbled]

Parker

Yeah, I had a very similar experience. And I feel like I'm still I mean, coming into like, who I am as Parker, it feels like a journey. And as much as it's like, the same journey through life where I'm like, coming into myself repeatedly. But yeah, Parker, I was so if I think about my old website, it was so boring, like, the copy was just fine. Like, I was actually pretty proud of the copy. But I was so afraid to be any semblance of myself, like to allow my in real life like my civilian self into my Parker identity, like really scared me for some reason. And then the more I allowed that to happen, and like really find a comfort, a comfortable place in Parker and like being Parker. I was just like, oh, this is so much easier. Like there's so much less energy when you can just kind of show up as yourself.

Amber Délice

Oh, I feel like you put that so eloquently. And as you were saying that I was picturing like, a flower that's like really tight, like in trying and like trying to bloom and just kind of like this, like resistance of, of not wanting to share I mean, and for so many reasons, right? We want to protect and yeah, keep our civilian selves separate. And it's such a journey of figuring out like, what to like, where to be porous, and where that the porousness, like leads to possibility. And where where we really don't want to share too and like that’s, that's such a tension. Yeah, so I'm just really glad that you said that.

Parker

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm definitely I'm also like, going on a dating journey. And I feel the same sort of thing coming up right now.

Amber Délice

Oh, my God,

Parker

that's very much in my face right now.

Amber Délice

Oh, yes. Me too. Oh yes.

Parker

I'm glad I'm not alone in that. So good. Um, I love so as you were talking, I was just like, falling in love with how intentional you are. And this is the thing I've noticed about you. Like, as we've spoken, the few times we've gotten to speak, and spending time with you is that you're very thoughtful and intentional about most of like all the things that you do. And so, I wanted to give you an opportunity, because we've talked a little bit about wanting to bring this up in the podcast of like curating an experience on your dates with with clients. So, if you if you wouldn’t mind, like talking a little bit about like, what goes into curating an experience for a client and like your process with that or what you think about beforehand.

Amber Délice

Yeah, so I would say it. Of course, it depends on the client and that like billing of time, but I think I'll answer from the perspective of like, someone I've someone I've seen before, and that it's maybe like, a longer date, like a 24-hour, 48-hour ,deep.

Parker

I love hypotheticals let's do it.

Amber Délice

Yeah, yeah. Cause I definitely, you know, yeah, and I was thinking about this earlier, like, I, I will I don't put the same amount of like intention, which isn't to say I'm just like floating around, you know, anchorless in shorter dates, but there's just more intention. And there's more time to plan when I am also being like, valued and given like a space to, like expand into so when there's more time. Um, so, so now so this is an interesting question, especially right now, during COVID, because a lot of my, my skills at so I used to be a journalist and I have a really strong sense of landing in any city that I'm in, I have a strong sense of figuring out like, where, where the, where the culture is, and, you know, getting help from the right people. And not doing like, so much like touristy things, but things that have some essence and heart of the, of the city in them. So, so that it has been a little bit disrupted, because of COVID, because things are closed, or they're closing, or they're, you know, and you can't even depend on a website, saying something is open, because someone might have just caught COVID. And so they're closed for the two weeks that you're there. So, I have so my answers to be a little bit different. So, I have had to be more creative around, things to do inside, on things to do indoors. So, I mean, I can plan anything as simple as like, you know, one of my clients, we really we're both writers. And so, and he has sent me in the past, a book of poetry, or a couple of books of poetry. So so first of all, I track that, and, you know, we all have our ways of tracking things, whether it's like, in notebooks or in spreadsheets, about clients. And for me, like I might track like, interests, and especially gifts too that they'll send and like I will, kind of mine is such a like data word, but I'll like mine that for, for ideas for both of us to go deeper or connect. So, you know, I saw this client, like, I mean, I know him and I know also know that he's a writer. And so, I set up a poetry night for like a poetry slam, but for the two of us, like inside of our hotel.

Parker

Cute

Amber Délice

And, and this is pretty, like pretty simple. Nothing elaborate, but I brought. So, this is just gonna get weird real fast. But he knows I love kind of what was it? Oh, he knows I love sour patch kids. This is gonna get crazy. So, like, and I please know, if you're listening to this, please don't send me Sour Patch Kids, just like, but anyway, so he's, he's just really sweet. And he'll bring me like a little packet Sour Patch Kids. So, I, I'll kind of like binge on them after a dinner sometimes. And so I have an I was like, this poetry night is sponsored by Sour Patch Kids. And I also had, it was really ridiculous. But it was also like, after dinner, we both had a couple drinks of wine both a little feeling a little bit. And then I had, I had my little Bose speaker, I know a lot of us bring, like a little speaker on tours or for fun to use, you know, for music. And so I had my speaker. And I'd set up like a bunch of poetry books two that he had sent me which I brought with me, and then two of from my favorite poets. And so, I had them on the table. And then I knew that he was also a writer. And so, you know, it was kind of planning that maybe he would, he would read something. And then I also had some of my own personal poetry. And I chose a poem that, you know, I felt comfortable sharing with him. And so, I just, I just sort of played the role of like, like, presenter, like, I told him to get out of the room so that I could like, set it up. And you know, I had him come in, and I was like, welcome to the like, COVID-19 poetry reading, like,

Parker

Oh I love that

Amber Délice

like whatever. I feel like I'm not telling the story super well. But yeah, and so I also since I had the speaker, I was I was able to play some of my favorite poets have read their poetry online, of course, like on their website. So, I would, I would like have us read a poem to each other, like stand up on the stage, which was like the, where the TV was in the in the hotel suite or something and like, Get up and then I'd play like a, like a clapping track. I'm like,

Parker

Oh my God. Yes,

Amber Délice

it was, it was really like whimsical and silly, but you know, it, I have a bend toward or leaning towards being theatrical. And I feel like diving into that, for me, with a client, like, at first can feel. You know, I can feel nervous and like, you know, you know, like have anxiety about it, but if I just like, pour myself into the role, I find that like, they'll go along with it with me and perhaps maybe find me more endearing if they book me again. I find out the next time if they found it too weird or if they found it endearing.

Parker

Yes.

Amber Délice

Yeah. And then it's really just when I think about it from the lens of like our work, you know, it just, it breaks things up. You know, when you especially if it's a long booking and you're, you know, kind of sort of stuck in the hotel for most of it. And I know that I mean I only speak from my experience, but like that might feel anxiety inducing. If like, oh, my goodness, you know, it's like three days, like, what am I going to do with this time during COVID? Like we can't go out like much. And I think that bringing in aspects of theater and immersive theater into our work in a way that is either, you know, something simple honoring what the client like it's an interest the client has, or something like even a little bit deeper, that kind of traverses more like deeper or deeper emotional spaces, depending on what the client is open to, and what you're open to. It's just a really fun, creative way to pass the time and connect with each other. So

Parker

yes, I love that so much. That's so good. Yeah, I would love that. That sounds like like, maybe we should just do that one day.

Amber Délice

Yeah. Poetry Slam!

Parker

That's so great. I also I like when you were saying, like, bringing in elements of theater and like making that makes you feel like nervous at times, because it's just kind of out of the box. I relate to that in a really big way of like, so because I don't want to do the same date over and over again.

Amber Délice

Yeah. And our clients don't really either.

Parker

No, no, who wants that? So, it's, it's nerve racking to kind of get vulnerable in that way, where you're like, these are things I know you're interested in, and I'm interested in, too. Let's get weird about it.

Amber Délice

Yeah, totally,

Parker

that's wonderful. I love that example that sounded like a lot of fun.

Amber Délice

Thanks, I was describing, and I was like, I don't know that I'm doing a good job of this, but I'm glad you

Parker

Oh, no, I was there [garbled] I think you did great

Amber Délice

Great, great. Yeah, yeah. And it, you know, it's, it's fun and whimsical. And then also, like, there were parts of it that were very personal, you know, like, when I was sharing my poetry and when he was sharing some his writing, you know, and I felt I feel like sometimes when we have that, you know, container, that we're able to share more intimate parts of ourselves and it and it feels safe and feels okay, and you know, obviously checking in if it if it doesn't, but yeah,

Parker

absolutely, yeah, sharing art is one of my favorites. Yeah, I love that. Cool. I'm gonna move on to another question, because I have so many for you. How do you find the clients that you want? Or how do you like, draw the clients that you want to get to you? Because we all know, we all know that, like, in the beginning, the we get a lot that we don't want? Um, unfortunately, there are just assholes in this world. But yeah, how would you how have you gone about to kind of cultivate a clientele or hone in on your clientele?

Amber Délice

Parker

cool

Amber Délice

And she, yeah, I studied with her a few times in New York. And I've studied like nonviolent communication and authentic relating, and, you know, a bunch of different modalities, which I think for me, they just, they inform how I communicate, especially when I'm really trying to facilitate a deep connection. And then I think, I'm not sure if I'm even making a list here, but I think like, just like genuine care, I, if I have a conversation with a client, and I'm able to get to something to a level where they're sharing something really vulnerable. It does, like I feel, I feel care for them, and the ways that I can comfortably and helpfully show that to them. I definitely engage in that. And I and I want to, and again, you know, that goes back to boundary work, like I also don't like want to fully, like let them into my personal life. And that's really important. But yeah, it's it's such a, it's such a balance. I hope that was enough.

Parker

Yeah, it was so, so good. There's actually like, a thing that I'm holding on to in what you said, the maintaining boundaries, but keeping my heart open. Like, I feel like, I don't know, I want that. I want that somewhere where I can see it. Because I think that's so key in, I mean, in life in general, but definitely in the work that we do, of like knowing like, doing the work to know what my boundaries are. And sometimes that's a little bit of trial and error. And then declaring but also holding those boundaries while remaining open is such a challenge.

Amber Délice

Yeah, it definitely is. And yeah, and I want to say again, too, it's like I in no way feel like I have everything figured out and it's it's like a constant journey. And I like that too. Like I like when I like when I feel challenged by or by a regular who, you know, he might not even realize what, what he's asking or something or we're in like a conversation and I had this happen recently on a three day with a client where we were talking about one of my best friends, Geneva Lens. She's a photographer. And we were chatting about her and just offhandedly, he was because I was like, she's home for the holiday for Thanksgiving. And, and he was like, oh, like, where's home for her? And I just was like, I was like, no, I was like, well, I'll let you let her answer that, you know, and it's just, like, that's kind of, you know, maybe an easy thing that but for me, it was like, we're like, three days into our thing. And I'm feeling very, like, open but it's like, I need to constantly be connected to like, this is a provider-client relationship. And and then I said that, and I was like, Yeah, you'll need to ask her and I didn't like say it like, how, you know, how dare you ask that or anything? Like, I was just like, oh, yeah, like, you're gonna need to ask her about that, like, with little like, smile and wink. And he was like, Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Like, I wasn't thinking like, of course, I shouldn't have asked that. Like, I was like, Yeah, don't worry about it. No worries. So yeah, like, I guess when I say that I think about just like, the responding with compassion too is important. You know, not, not all clients are trying to, like, screw us over or like, get personal information. Like sometimes it's just like, an honest mistake. And you being empowered and compassionate in sharing your boundary can sometimes be like something they deeply admire, and maybe they like even more for it.

Parker

Yeah. Yeah. And I think oftentimes, I think oftentimes, like if they, if they flub up like that, right, where, like, if they have a moment where they feel comfortable enough to ask that question, it means you're doing your job, right. In that they're comfortable and like, like, basically forgot, right? And part of I think sometimes for me part of being in this work and doing this work, and part of the job is maintaining boundaries like that and being being the one to remember that those are the boundaries.

Amber Délice

Yeah, yeah. I love your reflections. I feel like you're so eloquent.

Parker

Oh thank you. I just have I just have a really beautiful thing to reflect right now. So

Amber Délice

Well, thank you.

Parker

yeah, I wish on, I was just thinking a few minutes ago, I was like, man, I love that this is a podcast and and all that, but I really wish people could see your eyes right now. Because you have just like really beautiful eyes. So,

Amber Délice

Thank you,

Parker

For the record, everyone listening Amber Délice has beautiful eyes.

Amber Délice

Thank you so much.

Parker

Of course

Amber Délice

This is where it just turns into like a flirt fest between us

Parker

Of course, 100% yes.

Amber Délice

By the end of it, it'll this will just be on onlyfans. We're moaning and all these other things.

Parker

Yeah,100%. podcasts we're naked, you have no idea but yeah.

Amber Délice

Pay, for the sound of us being naked.

Parker

100% I mean, you know, there's a market for that as a market for everything. And so one of them is,

Amber Délice

if you can think of it, someone will pay for it.

Parker

This industry never ceases to amaze me. Yeah, so and like this brings kind of brings me to my next question, too, is just speaking of the industry. I asked this, I want to ask this to everyone, because it's a I think it's an important question. And everyone has like a slightly different answer to it. So, I'm fascinated by it. But what do you what do you wish or what's what's something that you wish people would understand about your work specifically, or the industry as a whole? Either or is fine.

Amber Délice

When you say people, do you mean people in the civilian world? Or? Okay, okay, yeah,

Parker

I'm thinking civvie world specifically.

Amber Délice

I noticed when you're asked that my heart starts to feel a little like, pain. And so, I think I definitely feel some, like, tenderness around this you know, something that I'm coming up against right now is around relationship and dating, you know, as we were talking about in the beginning, you know, and then we this is a common refrain, you know, that everyone's heard. It's like sex work is work, right? And I find that for me, the men that I am trying to date really hit a wall there. And we'll kind of go into a space of like, oh, like you're a sex worker. Like, that's totally fine. Like, we can be non-monogamous. And I'm like, That's not. That's not the same. Like if you think that yeah. And like and I'm I'm not like a strictly monogamous person. I believe that that should flow from the commitment and agreements in the relationship and then you can open it and close it and it's fine it but it comes from devotion and commitment. But I'm yeah, I'm experiencing a sense of like, I just had a situation where someone I was dating told me that he would want a 24-hour period of waiting to see me before or after I saw client.

Parker

yeah, interesting

Amber Délice

You face your face right now. I wish I could that we could share this because that's exactly how I felt I was yeah, I was just like,

Parker

There's so much.

Amber Délice

There's so much there's so much it brought up so much for me around yeah, shaming, you know, stigma, all of that. Um, and, yeah, and at the same time, like, I understand that there may be things in a relationship where you can like, help the person feel more comfortable. But this so when I asked him to explain more, which, luckily, I didn't burst into a ball of flames and anger. And I just was like, tell me more about that. I may have also burst into a ball of flames, like at another time with him.

Parker

This is when your communication skills come in handy. Nonviolent communication.

Amber Délice

Yes! Nonviolent! Yes. As much as I wanted to be violent. Um, yeah. As an aside, I told a client this and he was like, is that the significant other equivalent of can I be your first client of the day? And I was like, yes thank you! ,

Parker

Yes, yes.

Amber Délice

Yes. Anyway, going back,

Parker

I love that the client got it. That's great.

Amber Délice

Yeah, my client totally got it. And I was like, yeah, thank you. Anyway, so yes, coming back to calmness. So, I was like, tell, tell me more about that. Like, why do you want that? And he was like, well, you know, when I've been in non-monogamous relationships in the past, like, we've had an agreement of kind of, like, you know, like, you know, my energy has been with someone else. And so maybe I'll like, take a time, take, take a day off or whatever. And I was like, well, again, like, This isn't me like, I'm not going into having a an equal, you know, energetic receiving, giving exchange with someone that I desire or lust after or love and then getting my cup filled from that. And then coming back, like, it's, I am I this is a, I am emotionally facilitating something, and engaging in intimacy with someone else. And it's, it's, it's for pay, it's for money. So that is my receiving. And I accept that transaction, like completely, like, I am getting paid. What I consider well, for my emotional presence, my intimacy, my yeah, like all of that my authenticity in Amber's space anyway, and then I'm coming back. But my emotional, my cup is not full from that interaction,

Parker

Right.

Amber Délice

Like that. Yeah.

Parker

yeah

Amber Délice

Like, I need to go then resource myself, spend time alone, spend time with friends, to get that back. And for him to say that and basically say, I am not going to be that solace for you. I'm not going to be that person for you. Oh, it's just like, so heartbreaking.

Parker

Yeah.

Amber Délice

So, to answer your question, yeah, I feel like from people who might want to be with us, or date us is like the is to try as much as they can to to understand that, like, this, this work is like, like any other work or like a therapist or something. I mean, it's not it's not like any other work, because I do want like, I have a little bit of a problem with this sex work is work thing, too, is like, because we do we give so much like so much of ourselves. And there is more interaction, like literally with the body, than other work, and that is a different energetic toll. So, I think it's more than work, is what I would say. But yeah, just like, you know, a therapist or something like they need to have practices to reroute and to come back to themselves and so I just would want someone to know that like, we we'd still like need that like this is not I guess I'm having trouble finding the words for this but it's it's not something that is like having other relationships that nourish us. It's it's, it's a job and the care that we need doesn't get like diminished because of the fact that we're like receiving touch or receiving, you know, connection through this work.

Parker

Right. And it doesn't automatically mean that it's an open relationship or

Amber Délice

Yes,

Parker

polyamorous relationship. situation.

Amber Délice

Yes. Yeah,

Parker

I find that's often the assumption. And I guess yeah, there's so many things with that, though, like dating as a sex worker has so many pieces in it. I I remember going on what happened to be a date with this guy, I didn't intend it to be a date. I was sitting there hanging out with this person. And then I realized all of a sudden that it was a date. And I was like, Oh, interesting, okay. There was one point where he was like, I asked him, like, what kind of work he did. And he asked me what I did. And I was just like, flat out honest, and was like, I'm a sex worker. And immediately, he was just like, looking out the window, just like completely checked out. And I look, let me luckily, I had no attachment because I didn't even think of it as a date,

Amber Délice

Yeah,

Parker

but it was one of those things where I called him on it. I was just like,

Amber Délice

good.

Parker

It was cool, because I didn't have any attachment. So I could be sort of this like, boss ass bitch that I really, like, would hope I would be even if I did have attachment, you know?

Amber Délice

Oh, tell me more I must hear more.

Parker

So, I was just kind of like, hey, so as soon as I told you what I did for work, you were gone. So, can you tell me about that? And

Amber Délice

Oh I’m so glad you did this.

Parker

It was so good. And he was just kind of like, yeah, like, I just I can't see myself with anyone in that line of work. And I was just like, interesting. Like, again, the tell me more about that. Right?

Amber Délice

Mm hmm.

Parker

Nonviolent Communication. And, and his response was, I mean, he just it and I respect it. Because I was just like, you just know yourself, you know that you're a monogamous person who sees the work that I do as being in other intimate relationships with people, which is true, but I agree with you. It is different. I like sex work is work. And I like the way that you put that that it doesn't like fill my cup. It's not. There are moments where it's like, beautiful and giving and I fucking love my job, right?

Amber Délice

Yeah, yeah. It's it's nuanced.

Parker

It’s yeah. But it's not the same as like being in a relationship with someone in a lot of ways. And then I find out later, because I'm still friends with this person. I like see them around. And I found out later, like he's seen providers.

Amber Délice

Oh, yeah. Yeah, interesting.

Parker

Uh huh. So, I was just kind of like you, sir, are a fascinating beast. And, yeah, it was, it was one of those where I was like, well, I'm glad I got that out of the way with someone who, like, I wasn't really into.

Amber Délice

Yeah, and I'm so glad you mentioned that like, in the moment, that's such a, that's a gift. Like I maybe he, you know, sees it that way or doesn't but you, I feel like you gave him a gift. There's just so many ways that we don't do that. And, and we all I mean, not all the time. But like we often like as humans notice when someone else checks out because of something or like starts to disassociate. And so often, like, we're not taught to name it, but I am, I do a lot of study with a man named John Weinland. Who's amazing. I don't know what to call him, I feel like calling him like a relationship guru is just an annoying way of putting it but he talks a lot about, like, masculine and feminine, not as gender, but like as energies. And he talks about how like the feminine is one of the gifts of the feminine is to bring awareness in the moment, for the for the masculine, what you know, and again, like not with gender, but like the feminine essence. And I feel like that's, that's what you did, like, you're just like I am, I am present, I'm like conscious to what's happening and like, this is like my gift to you and like raising, you know, bringing him back to his integrity or consciousness and whether he knows why he would date a provider or not. Yeah, I feel like, I'm just just really happy you shared that story.

Parker

Yeah, thank you. I yeah, I just I resonated so much with like, what you were sharing that I was just kind of like, as I'll share this bit. I also love like, thank you for pointing it out as it me like giving him a gift because I certainly was just like, I'm laying out, calling him out. I like seeing it as a gift because it is like, it is one of those things. It's like I think having these hard conversations, confronting these, like, moments that don't quite sit right is part of, part of changing the world. And to put it in a very, like maybe dramatic kind of way, but like, it's those are the small moments that count more than I think we're taught to believe.

Amber Délice

Oh, yeah. 100% believe that because in that moment, you're choosing to go in like to go deeper as opposed to turn away. And so much of yeah, what we're shown in society and media is like just like turning away or like brushing things under the rug or something and like, no, yeah, I'm not about that.

Parker

Yeah. And it's doing it in that way, like you mentioned earlier with, with like holding a boundary with that client that asked the question, and you were just, you just had to be like, well, nope, you'll have to ask the other person. It's similar to that. We're just like not assuming that someone's coming for you, not assuming that someone means an offense, but calling them out. Or calling them in. I really like that terminology of calling. Yeah. Calling someone in and being like, let me let me tell you what that what that experience was for me. So that you can reflect on on yourself here for a minute. Yeah, I love that. Oh, my God, we could talk about this forever.

Amber Délice

I was just gonna say that. Yeah, yeah. I feel like we're getting to like the juicy heart of our conversation right now.

Parker

Yeah, we can always do another episode with Amber Délice and Parker Westwood. I have some rapid fire questions for you.

Amber Délice

Oooh, okay.

Parker

If you're ready for them.

Amber Délice

I think I'm finally caffeinated here. So,

Parker

yes good. Okay. Cool. I have some first ones to get us like in a rhythm of being quick paced. And then and then they get juicier from there. Okay, so vanilla or chocolate.

Amber Délice

Why am I thinking so hard about this like, well, okay, I need to be better at rapid fire. Clearly, this is not my forte. Chocolate.

Parker

We're just talking about like nonviolent communication. I'm like, Alright, great. We're gonna go in.

Amber Délice

I'm like the deep thing about vanilla is.

Parker

I love it. Okay, pancakes or waffles.

Amber Délice

Oh, waffles.

Parker

Concert or festival?

Amber Délice

Concert.

Parker

Favorite place you've ever been?

Amber Délice

Astoria in Spain.

Parker

ooh it sounds beautiful. A book that's on your mandatory reading list.

Amber Délice

Oh, so many.

Parker

I knew I knew this would be good for you.

Amber Délice

Oh, gosh. I just one?

Parker

Just one. But it's not the one that's I didn't word it that way. Just any any that would be on your mandatory reading list.

Amber Délice

Especially for us. The art of gathering by Priya Parker.

Parker

Ooh, great last name.

Amber Délice

Yes, very good very good. Actually yeah, she probably got it from you.

Parker

Yeah, I think I definitely came first. A song a musical artist or an album that you've been obsessed with lately.

Amber Délice

Oh, I've been listening to a lot of just like, I saw a thread on Twitter on this my like, up to no good. up to no good songs. So, a really hot song that I like is called The Valley by Miguel. And this is by no means like a classical piece. Like, yeah, like up to no good type of song. So, for when you're in that mood.

Parker

love it. Yes. We always need those playlists, um, a secret talent.

Amber Délice

hmm

Parker

It can also be mostly secret. You know, like, maybe people don't guess it right off rip or, or something that's not normally seen as a talent.

Amber Délice

Okay, yeah. Okay. I think when I well, if we're I feel like I've talked a lot about like, conflict. Conflict alchemy would be one, but I'm gonna go with something else. I am a mountain goat. So, so I can, I can hike forever. But I just go slowly. But I I will like, make it to the top. So, I yeah, I love hiking for like, eight to 10 to 12 hours for like many many, many miles into the mountains. And so, I feel like it's my spirit animal is a mountain goat as well. So, you get the spirit animal question too.

Parker

Yes. Secret mountain goat. It's like when you're editing a Google Doc and you're like the anonymous mountain goat? Do you know what I'm talking about?

Amber Délice

Oh yes!

Parker

Yeah. Okay Anonymous hedgehog. Park, are you okay? Are you over caffeinated? Okay, if you had one superpower, what would it be? And why?

Amber Délice

I feel like I'm already really good at this. But I have to use conversation to get to it. So, I would want the superpower of knowing exactly what someone is desiring or what or what is on someone's in someone's heart in every moment.

Parker

I love that.

Amber Délice

Yes,

Parker

That's so good.

Amber Délice

I feel like it could be used for good and also for evil, but I use it for good most of the time.

Parker

Yes, Most of the time.

Amber Délice

Except for that guy that asked for a 24-hour wait, period. I wouldn't use it for good on him.

Parker

We all we contain multitudes you know

Amber Délice

It's true. Yeah.

Parker

What was the last concert or show you went to?

Amber Délice

Oh Jesus?

Parker

Or theater thing, I guess? Yeah.

Amber Délice

Gosh, with COVID. I'm just like, Oh, Jesus. When was this?

Parker

I know I might need to scratch this question.

Amber Délice

No, no, I like it was Santana, I think I went on a Duo. Duo 24-hour with a client. And he took us to Santana, in Las Vegas and that was really fun.

Parker

Oh, I bet that was great.

Amber Délice

Yep, she and I just got to dance. And he got to watch, and it was perfect.

Parker

And then, what's something that brings you joy?

Amber Délice

Right now, I have an amazing circle of girlfriends. And so, the things that bring me joy the most are when we get together, and we all bring something to eat and something to drink. And we just dive in with each other and there are tears and there's laughter and there's deep connection.

Parker

yes!

Amber Délice

And we've just like, weaved a really deep and beautiful friendship together. And it's so meaningful to me. So, these these four women bring me joy.

Parker

I love that. That's my favorite. Well, cool. That is that is the end of my rapid fire questions.

Amber Délice

Yeah, yay.

Parker

Yeah.

Amber Délice

I just thank you for, I'm noticing that I'm not very good at rapid fire. I want to like think deeply about everything.

Parker

Same it's a blessing and a curse.

Amber Délice

Something to think deeply about is how I don't do rapid fire questions.

Parker

Great. That's so great. But yeah, thank you again for taking the time. Also, if you do you want to let our listeners our listeners know where to find you. I'll put your links in the show notes as well. But if you want to do it verbally, you're welcome to.

Amber Délice

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And it'll be in the show notes, but my name is Amber Délice, and I'm on Twitter as meet Amber Délice. And my last name is spelled D E L, I C, E. And then my website is just meet Amber Délice dot com. And you can also Google me and it is I think, I think I'm the only Amber Délice in existence. So, you'll find me there

Parker

Hey that's a perk.

Amber Délice

Yeah. It's a perk and then it also requires a third name for like restaurant reservations and things. When I don't want to put the name Amber Délice delete on things to give away who I am. Just in case you have any people poking around and seeing who's coming in with this client.

Parker

That's so smart.

Amber Délice

Yeah, absolutely.

Parker

Cool. Thank you again, so so much for taking the time. And as always, it's so good to see your face.

Amber Délice

So good to see you, too. Thank you for your eloquent questions and your beautiful reflection and so good to see you.

Parker

Yeah, of course. All right, I'm gonna end recording

Amber Délice

Okay bye

Parker

Bye. Such a adorably clumsy exit to that interview. I'm still learning how to do this, and I appreciate all of your input and patience with me as I learn how to create something you all want to listen to. I thoroughly enjoyed that interview with Amber which is why I say that she will likely be back on the show. After we stopped recording. She and I ended up talking for about an hour. I so appreciate all of you listening. It's really wonderful to be able to create this for you. So, if you have any feedback about how I can make it better, please let me know. The everything is in the show notes about how to get in touch with me. I've also included everything that we talked about in the interview with with Amber. All the links all the Safe Sex comic, the show that she mentioned that like got her started thinking about being an escort and all of that everything is in the show notes. I have made it as easy as possible for you to get access to all the things that we talked about that may have piqued your interest. Awesome. I think you're great. Everyone have a fantastic week and I don't know, spacey things One of my teachers always told me reach for the moon because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars which is very inspirational poster-y, but I do like it. Just keep trying out there everyone it's a really hard time to be doing things but no one can do it like you. So even if you land among the stars, maybe you'll just get covered in glitter like, like you're in a strip club that we can't go to anymore. So, perks.