Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

In this conversation, Robb and Tina Marie discuss their experiences and thoughts on New Year's resolutions, the impact of minimum wage increases, the high cost of living in California, considering relocation to other states, finding happiness and personal growth, and the cultural differences between states. They express gratitude for their health and personal strength. In this conversation, Tina and Robb discuss the importance of finding the silver lining in difficult situations and how it can help change one's perspective. They also emphasize the need to take responsibility for one's actions and seek help when needed. The conversation highlights the value of learning from past mistakes and not being afraid to start something new. They conclude by encouraging self-love and enjoying life's simple pleasures.

Explicit

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Ah, thanks for listening to Don't Get This Wisted. This is Rob along with my cohost, it's always Tina, how you doing Tina?

I am tired but I am here. We're gonna do this, huh? Happy New Year.

Yes. Happy new year. Happy new year. Yeah, you know, it's that that's a beginning of the year. So when we can all decide what we want to do in life and if we want to make changes or that kind of thing, we don't do resolutions. We did that show last year and resolutions are nonsense. But I do believe that you should have some kind of.

We both think so.

Goal or Plan?

Yeah, yeah, just some kind of like, hey, I need to point my life in a direction of positivity maybe. You know?

Yeah, you know, I didn't even listen to the TV or anything to know when the timer of like 2024 started There were so many fireworks that started going off. I swear to you. It sounded like a war. I could not believe how much Was going up into the air. It was amazing Really? Yes, it sounded like they were going off everyone maybe they were who knows but

Yeah.

It was here too. Oh yeah, it sounded like guns were going off.

Yeah.

That was kind of crazy last night. I was like, well, I guess it's the new year. We were busy doing our thing.

Yeah, right. It was funny. I walked. I walked into my kid's room and he didn't even know either. He was playing games and talking to his friends or whatever. And I walk in and was like, hey, you know, happy new year. And then he goes, what? And I was like, boy, because he had headphones on. So he takes his headphones off and even he went, is that outside? I was like, yeah, sounds like a war right now. He's like. Then he just put his headphones back on, turned around, kept playing.

I'm sorry.

Oh my god, he is too much you sometimes that shit is funny

I was like...

Yeah, I was just like, all right. So for me, I was like, I didn't want my dog freaking out. So I just kind of put him in my room on the floor and he went to sleep and so did I.

Nice.

Yeah, you know, it's there's really not much you can really do the I mean, unless you're out partying and I don't go out, I don't like the crowds or the people or and then it's bananas like most of these places, they charge you to go in and I don't know, it doesn't make sense to me. Maybe if you're 20, it makes sense.

I getcha.

I didn't do that when I was 20 even. We just got all of our friends together and did whatever, one of our houses, it was pretty like low key. I remember one year going to Florentine Gardens with a boyfriend and we were on our way back. It was super, super early in the morning. And...

Right? Yeah.

We were driving northbound on the 405 and someone was driving at us going the opposite direction and every time we would move from one lane to the other it was like they were playing chicken with us they would do it also and then I thought we were gonna die I grabbed my boyfriend at the time's hand and this guy like got in a lane next to us and then flew by he was just playing chicken on the freeway but that kind of made me never want to do that again you know I don't want to I'm okay

Mm-hmm.

now.

That's kinda like, that's kinda how I feel now. I'm just like, okay, I'm a homebody anyway, so for me, I would prefer a very small group of friends. You know, if I'm gonna do any kind of thing like that, I'd rather cook food in the background and hang out with friends and bullshit and maybe get like a fire pit or something like that. Just kinda chill. There's just, and a place where I don't have to leave.

Mm-hmm.

to go home because that's the worst part. The driving part is the worst. DUIs are out of control and I don't know. I don't understand why people wanna do it. But on the flip side, it's a retail type of deal, right? I'm sure drinks gotta be double on New Year's Eve.

Yeah, that's the key.

Mm-hmm.

I have no idea. I couldn't tell you the last time I actually drank on a New Year's. I'm kind of boring. I'm going to have to work on that. I am. I'm going to have to do some things this year.

Mm.

Shit, I had friends that text me at like six o'clock, six thirty I think, and they were like, oh happy new year. Like, oh happy new year too, you know, blah blah. And then they were like, yeah, I wanna go to bed right now. And I was like, oh shit. One of them wasn't feeling well, so.

Mm.

She was just like I just I'm gonna lay in bed She goes I probably won't make it to midnight and i'm like, yeah, I probably won't either and truth be told I Didn't I mean I fell asleep on my couch and I woke up around 11 15 And then kind of rode it out until midnight and then went to bed. So You know, I don't I don't uh I don't see the big deal. I guess maybe it's just

Maybe if I had someone or somewhere to do or something, it would be a bigger deal. But for me, it is what it is.

I went to bed about three and I watched a movie before I went to bed. I'm like, why am I staying up like this? But I, once I get past that first initial sleepy time and I get a second wind, then I'm on a go. I don't need to sleep after that. So I passed it.

Right.

I think most people are looking, you know, like 2023 was kind of a, I wouldn't say it was bad, but it wasn't great. You know what I mean? I think you have to look at your past year and kind of go, okay, what worked and what didn't? And then

Mm-hmm.

kind of finagle and put pieces in place. I really can't complain too much, but the exception of my mom passing away, it was all right. Like it wasn't horrible by any means. I think the only thing that really changed for most people is the economy and how it's a little more unstable than it was a year ago.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Is it more or isn't it always unstable? I can't remember a year where they didn't say it was unstable in my whole life. Like they talk about the same shit. It's just the numbers change.

Yeah, but I think that, you know, the Trump years, and I hate to say that because I know people are going to shit their britches, were way better. I mean, I had way more money. The prices of goods were way down. We weren't funding wars in other countries. You know, I mean, you can say what you want about him.

Mm-hmm.

but you can't say that you didn't live better then. Like, you know, here in California, we're gonna get it, like good. There was a new gun law that went into effect this morning that's the most unconstitutional shit that I've ever heard of. A $20 an hour fast food minimum is what they're gonna make now. Did you hear about Pizza Hut? What they did? They fired all their delivery drivers. All of them. They just went, yeah, we're not gonna deliver anymore.

Mm-mm.

except through third-party apps. So it's all gonna be done through DoorDash or whatever Uber eats. Yep, no more. Like 1,300 people got let go because they don't wanna pay $20 an hour. So what do you think is gonna happen with all the fast food in California? It's going to. More expensive for sure.

Really?

It's going to be crappier and more expensive.

Um, less people, cause now they said most of these companies in California are going to go strictly automated. There's McDonald's and that they've already built that have one person that worked there. Everything else is done automatically. Yeah. So that, you know,

Hmm.

I think people will just quit going to places like that.

Yeah, but then again for the people who wanted this big hike in minimum wage or at least for fast food people What's it? What is it? What is it gonna do to the market, right? You know some people like a warehouse job that pays minimum wage. This is like 15 16 dollars an hour Who's gonna work those jobs now that you can go and make 20? Are they gonna have to make $20 an hour doing warehouse work now?

It's gonna hurt the market across the board. And I hate to shit on people, but fast food isn't a career. It's just not, and it shouldn't be. It was meant for a entry-level job to teach you how to work. And now they're trying to make it a living wage, which is, I think, a huge problem with, well, for one, teenage kids will never be able to get jobs anymore.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

because they're all gonna be taken by adults who can work any hours they want. So you're not gonna be able to have an after-school job anymore because there will be none. I think.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know, I think there's always gonna be those type of jobs. They could go automated and they could do everything, but the problem with that is people will quit going because it won't be convenient. You know, they're taking the convenience away from these fast food places and that's gonna make people go, now forget that. If it's harder to do than just going home and making a sandwich, I'm gonna go home and make a sandwich. Because the food's not anything anyway.

I agree. I think that fast food is what it is, right? It's when you're on the road. But I mean, yeah, of course. I mean, what it really is meant for. It's when you're on the go, you're far from home, you swing by and get something to eat. And whether it's good fast food or not, because there is stuff that's, you know, healthy fast food.

It's trash!

I think it's just what it was meant to be was something quick, in and out, get fed quickly. And generally, and again, I understand where people are like, oh, what's a fair wage for that? And we can argue until we're blue in the face what we think a fair wage for that job is. But they're going to make it, like you said, to where people just won't go at all. And then it's just going to go away.

Mm-hmm.

Those buildings will just be empty. And then all these people who fought for this money won't have jobs either. So, I mean, it's one of those things where you have to balance out what is worth it and what is not and vice versa. So, I don't know.

Well, I think people need to be able to live. And right now with the way even gas prices are, living is difficult. It's taken a huge jump. Just produce and basics that you need at a grocery store have tripled in price in some instances, like it's insane. So I get why people are saying, look, we can't live on this. And some people unfortunately have that job as a second job because their first one they still can't live on.

the prices of rent are astronomically high. I've never heard of it in my whole life being even close to this much. And I don't know, we gotta do something for people to be able to live here, but the way the government's set up right now, we're definitely set up for failure. We're not set up to live here and be prosperous in any way. So that's kind of...

Yeah.

off on a tangent but...

Well, I think you're looking at the reality. When we started growing up, right, things were different. You know, we didn't have such a problem finding a place to live at a decent rate, decent. Even when we were growing up or left the house, like let's say you were 19 or 20,

Mm-hmm.

you definitely had to have someone live with you, a roommate. But it was definitely different. So like I was telling you off the air before I got on looks like my kid he's starting to think like he might try to leave the state because he knows he can't live on his own here. So he has a friend online who lives in San Antonio.

Yeah, you definitely had to have two incomes for sure.

So he was like, oh, blah, blah. And he was telling me about the rent in some places in San Antonio. And I haven't never looked there, even though my daughter lives there. But he was like, yeah, this guy has a two bedroom for like $1,100. And I was like, there's no fucking way.

I was like, 1,100? That just doesn't seem right. So as we go on here, I'm on Zillow right now because I wanted to see. So I put in a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment for rent in San Antonio, Texas. And what do you know? $1,179. There's one here that I just found, 1,030.

here in California.

In, no, in San Antonio. No, but, oh no, no. Well, I mean, I pay, and I've lived in my apartment for three years, I pay 21.65.

I was gonna say, there's no way it's in there.

And that's not what these cost, because I'm on the rent control where they can't. I wanna say my apartment right now, if you try to rent it's 23.90 or something like that. So think about this. I just signed, this is my third year here. I signed a new lease. After three years of living here, they give you an option of leaving anytime you want, as long as you give 60 days notice.

Mm-hmm.

which goes to tell you that they know that it's easier for, they'll make more money with me leaving. So they're willing to let you out of your year lease with a 60 day notice as long as you do it. So for me, that just goes to show you that they don't want people staying in their apartments longer than three years. They want you in your apartment for three years and then out. It's like, whoa, crazy.

Mm-hmm

Mm-mm.

So, I mean, I can understand. And you should see these apartments that I'm looking at in San Antonio. They're all modern. They have washers and dryers in them. They have a full gym. They have a three bedroom for $1,600. That's 1,200 square feet.

What's the minimum wage there?

I believe that it's 16 bucks minimum wage or $15 I think he said. So with two incomes working full time, you could easily live here. And that's with, I mean, and obviously that's with not a lot of bills like.

Mm-hmm.

You know, not a lot of credit cards, not a lot of this. This is a regular young person could probably live here. And like I said, the three bedroom was 1600, a three bedroom apartment, which is out of control. And it looks, and again, I'm only going by the pictures, but it looks pretty nice. It looks pretty cool. It's pretty amazing that you can do this in some other states.

It really is. I mean, it's cool. This is how it was when we were young. Like this place has a master bedroom, a patio, storage area, the bedrooms. Now this will just go to show you the difference between California and other places. It's probably a newer building. I don't know if it says when it was built. The bedrooms are, the master bedroom is 15 by 13.

Yeah.

Wow.

And the second bedroom is 12 and a half by 12 and a half feet. They're huge. These things are massive. I don't know. So for me, I'm like, okay, I get it. And this is why people are leaving California in droves because would you rather, you know, live in a nice apartment or would you rather, you know, suffer here and yeah.

That's cool.

Mm-hmm.

live in a cardboard box.

Yeah, and again, with prices, and I think food prices are pretty much going up everywhere. Like, you can't defend the, because of gas prices, obviously, with gas prices being high, you end up with food being bad all over. But I don't know, I think we're at a spot now in California where if you make a decent living and...

you can still live here and be okay, right? And not panic, but are you, not many of us aren't living paycheck to paycheck.

Mm-hmm.

So, you know, I'm okay. Like I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, but that's because I've saved for so long. So like for me, I wouldn't say that doesn't, like it doesn't really count. Because really, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I just happen to have a lump sum in the bank that if something went sideways, I can always, you know, finagle. But...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

All in all, you know, if I didn't have that, I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck with a little bit of money on the backside. But I don't know, I don't know where we're at in pushing life forward. We're older, so I wanna start thinking about, what's my future? Where do I see myself in, you know?

retirement or you know a place where I want to settle down and you know not stress all the time You're lucky you can go anywhere you do hair

Well, no, it's still I don't know. At some point, you're not marketable as a hairdresser after a certain age. You know, age definitely defines what beauty is. So there's that, too. I'm not worried about it. You know, everybody you know what I know is everybody gets through it until they die. No matter what that's that they could do it kicking and screaming or they could do it really easily. Like the choices are endless. So I just don't worry about that so much because.

I'm in a place where I should, you know what I mean? Like I really should be thinking differently, but it's going to affect my day to day every day. And I'm going to just not trying to let that happen. So I'm just, uh, just trying to live in the moment and seeing how it goes and knowing that, that I'll get through it because I've always gotten through it and having that faith. Cause I don't know. That's just not what I want to spend my time worrying about.

Right.

Well, you know, we've talked about it a bazillion times that you're going to make it because you have to. So I agree with that. Do you have any like, I hate to say plans, but do you have any things that you want to get done this year?

Mm-hmm.

Yes, this year my place is going to get added on. For sure it will be done this year. Come hell or high water, I'm not going to let that go any longer. I'm definitely going to have to secure a job. So there's that. On top of what I already do, just to accommodate everything that's going on. I want to take a trip.

I do a good trip this year, not just a getaway. I love getaways. Don't get me wrong. We've done tons of them, my friends and I, but yeah, definitely take a good trip. I don't know with me. You don't life changes, you know, and people that you're around change and things that you're doing change and

You know, I could get on my bike and just go. I don't have any, I have no responsibilities other than making sure my dad and my family are okay. Like I don't have a house to take care of. I don't have kids to take care of. When I leave work, I don't have work to take care of. So I kind of liked that I could pick up and go and don't have any baggage with me. So I, life could change in an instant, you know, because.

There's nothing but endless possibilities. So I kind of like being where I'm at right now.

Mm-hmm. No, I agree with you. I think a trip is in definitely in my future. I think I want to I in the states for sure. I don't plan on leaving the country this year, but That is also another thing I'd like to do. I want to go to Ireland or Scotland and before I drop dead But maybe a trip into the south again, I'm thinking maybe Nashville

Mm-hmm.

I was trying to tuck my cousin into one of those cruises that goes down the river. You know, like you can see those states, riverboat stuff. And she raised her eyebrows. So I think I piqued her interest. Now I just need to bombard her with social media stuff that so she could see what we would be doing. I could, I could get her in, but yeah, I'd like to do that. I would also like to go to a.

Yeah, riverboat stuff. Mm hmm. That would be cool.

Mm-hmm.

to Mardi Gras. I've never done that. I just, to hear the stories, I don't know. I just feel like I'm missing out. And I don't want to be in a wheelchair doing that crap.

Oh yeah.

Yeah. Well, I have a friend who went to New Orleans. She said it was awesome. So, um, I don't think she went during Mardi Gras though. That's a whole other, that's a whole other.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't even... There's another festival in October, and I think that would be a better one because it's more local people partying. I don't know, we'll see.

Okay. I, uh, I would like to go there. I think it's a, it's definitely a interesting place. You know, there's a lot of, a lot of history in, in New Orleans. Like you, you walk the cemeteries there and they're old, old cemeteries. Kind of like back East. Like when you go up near like Massachusetts and up in there. Yeah. Cause well, that's where we settled. So.

Mm-hmm.

There's some very old ones there too, yeah.

most of that stuff is, you know, people started dying early there, you know, near like 1413, no 1400s, right? So yeah, I think it's an interesting place too, because if you're into like the darker stuff in New Orleans, like there's a lot of weird voodoo shit there and, and that kind of thing. And then of course, if you go into the city, it's just a good old party town.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I have a friend who just went came back from Nashville and Even he said like Nashville is becoming Vegas Yeah, and he was like He's like it's cool to go But he definitely sees that like the locals are starting to get kind of pissy Because they don't want their town to turn into Vegas Because I guess they're strip

Really?

Hmm.

or their, you know, their little place is where there's like lots of little country bars and actually bars in general. It's like a, it's a music and drinking place now. And he's like, uh, so they're starting to get a little, uh, bent on the, yeah, on the idea of it just being like, Oh, let's go to Nashville and party all week instead of let's go to Nashville and see Tennessee.

Mm-hmm.

testy.

Mm-hmm.

But I guess they're also getting a little bent on so many people moving there. Cause now, you know.

Moving from California to Tennessee. Yeah, it's be specific because it's definitely Californians. They're not liking

Yep.

Yeah, it's true. And, and, and I get it. Like I can totally understand why people are perturbed because people bring their California to their, uh, the new States they live in and it's like, you know, why.

They're not as liberal as they are here in other states, especially in the South. Even my friends, when I go to visit them, we have very different opinions on things. It's interesting.

Yeah, oh yeah, it's not the same. It's a different place. And the bigger cities in a lot of these states, I would say it's a mix match, right? It's a little purple. There's liberals and conservatives and they kind of mix. But when you get outside those cities, it's very conservative. These small towns and it's not the same and they don't.

Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

They're not hip on that shit changing. Ha ha ha.

No they are not.

So I get it. I mean, California is a different place for sure. And I think the problem with these people on the outside in other States is they see the news and then they see what California is doing when it comes to laws and all these different things. And they're like.

You know, you guys are ruining your own place and now you move and then you vote the same way you did there and you're trying to do the same thing here. This doesn't, it doesn't make sense. So we'll see. Like I said, I'm my kid, you know, he's thinking Texas and he, he's kind of a free thinker when it comes to.

Mm-hmm.

Politics those type of things he really doesn't care a lot about him, but when I do talk about him He's kind of in the middle. He'll say both sides And I was telling him I go look, you know, Texas is different It's not California and he's like, oh no, I know I know cuz he's visited both of his sisters at one point lived in Texas So he was more like, you know, I get it. Okay. Well, you know

Your gun laws, your gun rules are way different in Texas. He's like, yeah, way better. Oh yeah. Yeah, so he turned 21 last month, so he purchased his first firearm. So he's kind of, he'll get it here in the beginning of the year, so he's pretty happy. Yeah, so he can, I'm gonna do that and then.

Way better though. Way better.

Nice.

I bought him a rifle when he was 16 that I have to transfer into his name. So we're going to try to do that tomorrow. Tomorrow. I don't know what day it is. Fuck it. Whatever. But yes, soon we're going to take it over to the turners by my house and have them do the transfer paperwork, which isn't that bad. I thought it was going to cost me more. And it's only 50 bucks to transfer a gun. I was like, it's not too shabby.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. It is. Nice. So what thing happened to you this year that you're grateful for or that stands out for you, but in a positive way?

that I'm grateful for. For me, it's more of the growth of my kid, I think. He's kind of, yeah, cause he's changing. I think he's trying to see the world through a different lens now. I think he wants to get his shit together now. He also, his health journey, he's lost almost

Yeah.

48 pounds. Yeah, so he's, he kind of, it's funny too, cause he told me like two days ago, he fell off the wagon a little bit, not bad, but you know, fell off the wagon. And he's like, he's like, man, the first back to no chips, no potatoes, like no, like he's trying to get back on, like, you know, going to the gym every day and blah, blah.

Nice.

And I was like, cool. So I'm grateful that he's happy because I don't think he was feeling very good. I told you like last week, I think we were talking about it. I think now that he's 21, he can go anywhere. He's not handcuffed by any age limit. I'm hoping he'll get out a little more and meet people. I mean, he lives in a digital world, not like us.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

but I think it's gonna open him up a little bit and then we'll see what happens if he leaves. But I'm happy for him. As for me, I just think that it's a daily grind. I do my best not to anchor myself with feeling bad for myself.

Like, you know, I'm single, I do this, I do that, but I also don't have the repercussions of being in a relationship. You know, I don't, it's a double edged sword. I try to tell the guys at my work that all the time, because they'll, and I hate to say complain about their spouses, but they complain about their spouses.

Mm-hmm.

And not in a bad way, just in case anyone from my work listens to this, because I don't think they do. But they'll say something and I'm like, man, I can't wait to be in a relationship again. And they'll kind of be like, huh? And I go, I'm just joking. I go, look, you know, happiness is a weird thing. I don't think that you can. You can only find happiness in someone if you're happy with yourself. So jumping into a relationship isn't the greatest idea if you're not happy.

Mm-hmm

So I'm just trying to find happy, whatever that is. I don't think that I'm down though. I'm kind of in a weird spot. I'm just like, I'm going with the flow. But this year I think I'm going to really work on getting in shape, like really, really work at it and get a mindset of like, look.

There you go.

we're in our 50s, I have to start thinking like, okay, how can I, I wanna feel good in my 60s. And the only way to do it is I think get in good shape and lift weights. That's the biggest thing of anyone getting older is lifting weights. And it's not a lot. You don't have to, if you're doing like, I'm gonna buy a...

Mm-hmm.

Strengthen.

curling bar. Matter of fact, it's in my Amazon as we speak. Um, and it, I'm only going to put maybe, maybe the heaviest 40 pounds on it. And, but you have to do it and continue to do it just to keep your strength. And then I'm going to try to walk a little bit more as well. Like far, like walk far. Um,

Mm-hmm.

Cardio is good, but I think it's also good for your mind to get out and about, like with you, like writing. Writing for you is a mental thing. And I think that that's a positive as well. And maybe go hiking, even though I'm not like a big hiking person, but I think it's just being one with the outside and.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And if I could find a hiking partner, it would be kind of cool. Just kind of like, just so you can talk and, you know, get out and talk and walk and get out in nature and being in nature is another thing that I think is important for people, regardless of how you get there. Like I said, if you're on your bike, when you're, when you're riding up the coast, that's a stress reliever. It's there's something about, you know, I posted a picture the other day.

Talk and walk.

of this sunrise that was out of control yesterday. Was it yesterday? I think it was, anyway, it was orange and it was clouds and big. And I posted underneath it, I said, there's a small fraction in time where you can find the gold.

And there is, if you've ever chased a sunrise or a sunset, there's this minute little time where it's just beautiful and orange. And I think that that's life. There's a very small moment in time where you can find this good space or good point or good person and you snatch it. So I think that's what I'm gonna try to do this year, find the gold, whatever that is.

There you go.

What about you? What are you grateful for?

Oh, well, I'm grateful that my family is healthy and that I'm not having to take care of anybody. I dodged another year of that. So I am grateful for that. Hardly. I did not realize what type of personality it takes to be a woman on a bike. And I didn't know that I even had it. Like if you'd asked me, I'd be like, I don't

Mm-hmm.

I think I have that personality, but apparently I do because a lot of people have said man. You're like you're a badass You do things that most people won't you know? I know there's a lot of bike riders out there, but then when you count how many females there are it's not that big of a of a Culture for us out there, you know, it's very small and I kind of like that I'm that badass that could ride a Harley, you know cuz

I don't know. I put my dad on the back of it and I and I thought this is what this is a lifetime moment You know, this is one of those times where like who could say you put your dad and rode on the back of a Harley? Not very many people. I know I'm not the only one but It's very small and I was like fuck. Yeah. Okay, so maybe I am a badass Maybe I do have that person inside of me that could do anything. Maybe maybe I am that person and I just

No, but it's very small.

didn't believe it or didn't feel I had the confidence, but I still did it. I, I never have confidence for anything. I I'm a fake it till I make it sort of person. I just don't want anybody else to know that I'm not confident. So I walk in a room like, okay, we can fake this shit. We can make it happen. And then somehow it just turns into confidence because you just, I just, for lack of better word, I just manned up and did what I had to do. So I am.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Grateful that I'm that person, you know, I come from a long line of women that are just crazy, intelligent and crazy, crazy and also very, very strong. So I do have all of that in me and I guess it is it's coming out in different ways than what they did, but very unconditioned, unconventional ways. And

And I am so grateful that I'm finding me. Not that I wasn't me when I was married, not that I wasn't me when I was a kid. Now, I've always been me, but I'm finding this inner person that I'm enjoying. And man, there's you get I get a lot of heat. Everybody was pissed off at me at Christmas because I was the one that made the tamales and didn't tell everybody else to do it. And.

Begged them to come and help and then they just drove me crazy So I did it myself So I got shit for that to the point where nobody else brought anything for Christmas and I was still like well Fuck it. Then if you guys don't want to help or do anything I still had enough for everybody and I still did everything I wanted to do and I I'm just owning me It I guess is what I'm saying. So I'm grateful that I've that I've

I don't know, gotten to that point because I was not feeling stable when I left my eggs and I did not think I could live this long without having help. And I didn't I didn't know what was going to happen next or was I going to date or could I you know, was anybody going to love me again? I went through that. And now it's like, fuck, if you don't if you don't find me irresistible, fuck off, because I am I am.

I'm not one of those women that needs the designer shit to feel happy. I'm not that woman that needs you to fix me. I'm not broken and thinking that, that men are evil. Like I'm not that bitch. I'm, I don't have all these issues and I'm like thinking, okay, I am that cool. I have gotten there. So, and I, and I had this talk with my cousins yesterday when it's particular. She, she told me, she goes, you know, whenever I get.

like to where I can't do something or I don't have the strength to I think to myself if Tina could do it, I got at least try. And, and that made me happy because if it helps one person get up and try a little bit harder, I'm cool with that.

Yeah, I'm kind of doing the same thing with the people around me. I'm trying to tell them like, look, as bad as it seems, maybe it's not. Silver linings are kind of real. Well, because I think you have to, you do have to find a silver lining in some things, because there is shit storms that happen and

Mm-mm.

Kinda.

you have to step back for a second and go, okay, how do I see the good in this? Because somewhere there's probably good in it. It just, it's shitty on paper, you know? And I think that to me, there's a song that I listened to this morning. It's by a guy named Matthew West, but it's basically the lyrics are

Mm-hmm.

It's day one of the rest of your life. And it is, every day is day one of the rest of your life. You just gotta find the positive in it. And they're out there. It's unfortunate that some people can't see that, but I think people around you need to continue to, you know, pump it into you and say, look, things.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And even pointed out, like pointed out to people to say, dude, do you realize you've got this going for you? And it doesn't have to be a huge thing. But like, I always look at life like it could be so much worse. And I've been in worse places. I've been in my head is the worst place for me to be at certain times. Like after my mom died, that was the wrong place for anybody to be including me.

Mm-hmm.

And you could go there, but how are you going to dig yourself out of that? You got to, you know, you got to be grateful. You got to you got to look at the positives. You got to start looking for the light in life instead of all the darkness. And I'm just not feeling the dark anymore. Fuck that.

Right.

My head is the worst place I can be. Because it'll... You can manipulate yourself into such a depression that you can't find a way out of it. And friends or people around you are the people that need to step up and say, hey, like, shit's not as bad as you think. You can get over the hump. And...

Yeah, me too.

Mm-hmm.

And life isn't, you know, as bad as it is. I also think though, a lot of it has to do with taking, um, taking people's advice and then taking people's help and mixing those together to help yourself. Um, uh, one of my favorite things that in life is there's either pride or foolish pride.

Pride is saying, I can't take that from you, but taking it. And foolish pride is saying, I can't take that from you and not taking it. I had a chance in my life at one point when I was very young, I got evicted from an apartment and my dad said, hey, you should come home and get on your feet. And I had very much foolish pride and said, I'm not gonna go back home.

and I buried myself for a lot of years instead of taking that help and because I thought why do I want to move back home I'll be under the rule of thumb blah but in the end I should have went because I probably wouldn't have been so financially uh binded for so long when I came back from Vegas when I moved back to California

I had a very small time where I had to live with some friends and family until my new place was ready. So I lived with my best friend for a month and I lived with my dad for a month. And I didn't let foolish pride get in my way. I was like, I need help and I'm going to take it because it financially got me ready for my next place of living.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

So I think that we need to tell people, you know, pride is great, but don't be foolish.

And don't be an asshole that takes advantage either. Like do what you got to do and go like you did and freaking man up. Cause I think, I think that's a part of it too.

You have to take responsibility for what's going on with you at any given moment. And a lot of people get mad at me because especially when I talk about my divorce, I talk about my part in it and everybody's like, wait a minute, it's not just you though. And they always want a point. And I'm like, wait a minute. If I don't take responsibility for any and everything that I did, then I'm not being honest with myself either. And I

Mm-hmm.

Totally.

I wanted to be honest with myself. I wanted to I wanted to make this lesson of getting divorced hurt So that I don't make it again so that I don't take advantage again So that I don't think that everything will just you know Somehow fix itself like you have to be an active participant in your life And and I drop the ball at times, you know, I i'm not i'm not saying that wasn't

That was the reason we got divorced, but I'm just saying there were times when I could have been a better person, a better wife, a better mother, a better lover, a better friend. And, and that's on me. You know, that's time that you don't get back and that's a situation that you can't fix or make better. And, and I wanted to take responsibility for that because I don't want to make the same mistakes again. I'm all for making mistakes. I just like to make different ones.

I don't want to make the same mistake over and over again.

I totally agree with that statement. I think from a marriage standpoint, I did the same. I had to step back and go, look, it wasn't her and it wasn't me, it was both of us. And for whatever reason, things went sideways. And I think that most people, mostly in a relationship, but...

Mm-hmm.

And I mean lots of different relationships, a job relationship or a personal relationship or a friendship. If you're not taking part of the blame, awesome. But you have to understand that it's not just you either. You know, if you're taking the blame, it's fine, but you have to look on the other side of that and go, ah, like.

Yeah, I get a lot of that but it's like I said, it's not it's not me saying it's all me it's just me saying I need to work on this shit, you know and I'm kind of glad that I've done that, you know, and I'm glad that I don't want to make the same mistakes I'm gonna make mistakes Don't get me wrong. I I'm all for it and I will tell everybody please make mistakes. That's how we learn That's the best way to learn is by fucking things up. So

Mm-hmm.

I still am gonna do that. I just don't wanna do the same old bullshit. Like I'm gonna be a little more inventive next time. I'm gonna screw something up. Let's do it differently.

Yeah, and I think that and I agree with what you're saying, because I think that don't make the same mistakes, but don't be afraid to start something.

Make mistakes.

Because if you keep going, I can't do this because I'm this way, or I'm just not good at this. It's like, no, that's not necessarily true. Part of that is that you are now judging yourself that you're gonna continue to make mistakes. It's like, well yeah, we're all gonna make mistakes.

But you are drop the facade you're gonna make mistakes every freaking day now that you know that Now you can have fun with it

Yeah, and look, to round this out for the end of the show, this is a new year. It's a new round of mistakes. It's a new round of promising things that can happen. It's up to you though, to make the promising things happen. If you sit back and blame the world for whatever it is that's shitty, you're never going to jump forward and...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

It is.

You know, find the right job, find the right relationship, find the right, you know, whatever. If you continue to step back on your heels and go, well, it's me, you're never gonna get past it. Go out there and find that good job, if that's what you're looking for. If you wanna move out of state, go move out of state. If you wanna find somebody to have a good relationship with because your relationships are shitty, go find that person. Like,

Don't bind yourself to societal nonsense, because you can break past it every time.

Mm-hmm, but in the process you have to love yourself You have to give yourself some wiggle room to make mistakes you have to Realize your dreams aren't gonna happen just because you all of a sudden thought them you have to be an active participant in your life and If you don't start now then when

Perfect. And remember, enjoy tacos. I think I want tacos today. Yep. That's true. Tacos add us a little bit of booze to that and things are rocking and rolling for the year.

Oh yeah, lots of tacos, lots of tacos and lots of laughter. If you do those two things, you'll be all right.

There you go.

All right, well, we're going to end it on that. Make sure you check out our social medias and see what we're doing. You can check us out on YouTube now, which is actually popping off pretty big. People are listening to the show on YouTube. We're on YouTube Music, Amazon, no more Google.

Nice.

Spotify and Apple Music or Apple Podcasts. And check us out on Facebook, Instagram, X, all that fun stuff. And yeah, until next week, that's Tina over there. Oh yeah, and this is an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. And try to have a new, beautiful, good year. Anything else, Tina? Happy New Year to everybody. And we will talk to you next week. Talk to you later. Bye.

Yes, Happy New Year.

See ya!