From Burnout to Breakthrough – My Personal Journey to Work-Life Harmony

Ever feel like you’re doing everything “right” but still feel off?

In this raw and honest episode, Matt Farnham shares the personal story behind The One Life Podcast—a season marked by burnout, quiet breakdowns, and the eventual breakthrough that changed everything.

You’ll hear how Matt went from high performance and outer success to a place of deep misalignment—and what helped him begin rebuilding a life with more peace, purpose, and margin.

If you're a Realtor, entrepreneur, or faith-driven leader trying to find your footing again, this story will hit home.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The signs of emotional exhaustion that high achievers often ignore
• What Matt hid behind his professional success
• The pressure of being everything to everyone—and what finally broke the cycle
• The first small steps that led to freedom
• A new framework for living aligned with your values

Top 3 Takeaways:

• You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to make a breakthrough.
• Owning your story is the first step toward healing and clarity.
• True harmony begins when you stop striving for perfection and start living with intention.

Let’s connect!

• Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement.
• Join the One Life email community for updates, tools, and live events: One Life Community
• Learn more: www.TheOneLifePodcast.com

Welcome to One Life, the podcast where we embrace the journey of living fully and intentionally in every area of life. My name is Matt Farnham. And while I don't have it all figured out, I'm walking this journey with you, convinced we don't have to choose between a thriving career and thriving relationships, health and purpose. This isn't about perfection, it's about progress. And together we'll explore how to create work-life harmony, reject the lies of comparison, steward our gifts,

And I don't know if it was a moment as much as a building up, but that season of just burnout that I was walking through, maybe you've been through a season like that too, you just knew something had to change. So this is episode two of our podcast. I launched episode one where I shared my burden with you, really kind of the heartbeat behind why I wanted to build this podcast, this community with you. This episode I intend to share my journey these last four or five years, really focusing on this idea of one life.

So just to give you a quick version of my story. I've been in Vegas since I was six years old. I grew up in this city. I've been married to my wife for over 20 years now. My amazing wife, Leslie, God's blessed us with three incredible children. Love being dad, love being husband and doing the family thing. I love sports, all things sports. You wanna talk golf, football, baseball, basketball, play it, watch it, talk it, doesn't matter. I love it. I'm a Christian. very ⁓ just open about my faith. I'm a Jesus follower specifically.

I'm your friendly neighborhood realtor serving my clients and that's going great. But truthfully, neither of those were going as good as I knew they could. Because frankly, that was two full time jobs I was trying to do. But the worst part about it was is my family was getting the leftovers of me. I knew that I was I was wanting to be home more more present with my wife and my kids. But I was I was just there was nothing left. And when I was home, it was obviously just consumed by work. And I'm sure you've been there, you're probably there right now at times. And I just knew something had to change.

And what he was sharing is as a leader or anybody for that matter, entrepreneur, realtor, whoever you are. But what leaders do is we have busy schedules and high demands and we try our best to include the things most important to us in our day. So spending time with my wife or my kids or maybe it's exercise or whatever that is maybe for you. But that's what a lot of us do. We try and include those important things in our day. But you and I both know when we try to include something in our day, it so often doesn't happen. If I miss going to the gym,

this morning or working out at home this morning because I'm running late I'll get to it this afternoon I'll leave the office early well how often does that actually happen right not very often so but what he said is the shift is leaders need to order our life around that which is most important

We need to order our day, our day by day around that which is most important. That's a big difference from trying to include it in my day versus ordering my life around that which is most important. And that really struck me. still remember exactly where I was sitting in my car listening to that podcast. I was like, that's my problem. So it really started to this idea of first things first into my calendar on a daily basis. So I started to make progress in that area. Another milestone for me was around the same season, another mentor and coach in my life. Many of you guys know me from the real estate world, but Tom Ferry, I've been coaching with Tom

for years, highly respect Tom and his organization, but I ended up being fortunate to have a lunch with him ⁓ in this season I'm talking about. And at the lunch I shared I said, man Tom, just, the business is going great, but I really want to spend more time at home with my wife and kids and it's just the struggle to get there. And he just said, Matt, you're going to have to trade money for time. You're going to have to buy that freedom. So as I kind of unpacked that with him, it's this idea of leverage, right? Where for me it's maybe, you know, for you it might be hiring the first assistant. For me at that time it was just getting a little bit

more help around me than I already had. But maybe that's an assistant for you or a second assistant. It could be a showing agent or a buyer's agent if you're in the real estate space or of course you could translate that to whatever business that you're in. But I started to be more intentional about getting some more leverage and buying some of that freedom where yes we're trading some of the income that we're making but for some more help some more leverage so we can free ourselves up to be

a home more, right? That's what I was doing. So the result of this, you know, I'm ordering my schedule around that, which is most important. I'm now getting some leverage around me. Well, it worked. It got me home more. I was with my wife more, my kids more, more time for my community and church and things that I wanted to do. But what I learned is I was in proximity quite often, but proximity does not mean presence. And I'm sure that you can relate to the difference between proximity and presence. So I started to really...

kind of the season where, okay, I'm home more, but I'm still thinking about work and still consumed. And there was that moment, I'm sure, I hope you haven't had, but many of you had. And my daughter was talking to me, apparently, I'm in the family room on the couch, and I'll never forget my wife said, Mia's been talking to you for last five minutes and you didn't look up at her once. And I'm like,

I was crushed and I'm sure I hope again that you haven't been there, but I'm sure many of you can relate to that. That was a pretty cruddy moment and I just knew something had to change with me being more present because I don't know if I was looking at my phone, if I was just thinking about work or I was reading an email that part. I don't remember specifically, but the reality was is that something had to change to free me up to be more present when I'm home. You guys have all heard this saying if we hang on our deathbed, we're not going to wish that we would have made more money or sold another house if you're in real estate, right? I think it's even deeper than that.

Well, people said, I wish I would have had more time with my loved ones. It's not just more time. I think what we really are gonna want at the end of our lives is we would have had more focused uninterrupted time with our loved ones, the truly present time. That's where we create the memories. That's where the joy is, right? So for me, that led me to a season...

of really starting to look at the business and saying, okay, where can I create efficiencies and better process and SOPs and develop the personnel to change our business so I'm not taking it home with me? And that was a tall task. And we developed a mantra for the team that I call slow down to speed up, right? So slowing down, roll up our sleeves, get under the hood, but how can we tweak the systems and create efficiencies and process of people and personnel, like I said, to get ahead of things in our business? So what does that look like for us practically?

is through this season, we started to really level up our communication with the way that we serve our clients. So what we actually say in our business is our clients experience will rise and fall based on the communication they receive. So what you probably can relate to in your business, it doesn't matter what business you're in, but if you're an entrepreneur, a business owner, or in leadership in your company, many of us feel like we're on the defense all day long, right? It's this picture of like in sports, think of football or basketball where you're on your heels and it's coming at you.

constantly just putting out the fires on the phone all day, taking the questions, taking the concerns, right? Dealing with problems all day. And what happens is, is, is we literally are exhausted at the end of our day because of that. And then we go home with no emotional and mental bandwidth left for who and what matters most in our life. I'm sure you can relate with that. I was living that. That's no wonder I came home exhausted. ⁓ Either no energy to be present or if I had some energy, I'm still dealing with the phone calls or the interruptions all evening or weekend. It was very difficult.

to be present even if I was in proximity and I was actually there physically, right?

So anyways, through this season of just working on trying to dial this stuff in, we got to where we felt like we more on the offense. So picture now we're on our toes, we're initiating that contact, we're two steps ahead of everything with our clients, our listing process, our buyer process, our escrow process, and of course, I sell real estate. So that's my reference point, but you can relate to this in your business as well. But here's what happened is not only did we give a better experience for our client, because we're communicating at a high level and providing a better service, but now I'm going home

in the evenings, not just me, but my team. We're going home in the evenings and weekends with way fewer interruptions and got a minute in problem solving because we're two steps ahead of everything in our business.

So that was a big season of me of really rolling up the sleeves. So when I talk about one life and you follow this community, it's not all kumbaya, it's not all just sunshine and rainbows. We got to put in the work, we got to build the business to support the life. It's not one or the other, it's both and. So here's what happened. I became more present, which was great, but then the guilt really started to set in. So I'm home more, I'm present with my wife and kids, but I'm still in the back of my mind oftentimes thinking,

man, I should be doing more, like I'm capable, I'm underperforming my potential. I'm created and capable of doing so much more at work. And then I'm looking over my shoulder, right? The comparison game. And I'm seeing what you're doing or what she's doing over there. And I'm like, man, I could be doing that. I should be doing that. And it was just wearing me out. Or if I'm at work and things are going great, I'm still wanting to be more present because I know I'm missing some moments with the kids and those types of things. So it was this constant tension of guilt.

Well that leads to another milestone I want to share with you. I have a friend in my life, I would call him a mentor in my life now, Jim Jackson here in Vegas, and we're having a lunch and I'm just kind of unloading on him some of these thoughts and feelings.

and I'm having a pity party if you will and he just challenged me and he said Matt he said life is choices and he said you're making choices and you got to own your choices so I said well unpack that more for me Jim and and he basically just shared like like Matt you're making some choices that you should be proud of like you're choosing good things but yet you're getting wrapped up in this comparison and performance and all this stuff and guys I'm guilty I struggle with that I'm not free from that I still struggle with that have I made strides yes is it something that's still a struggle

quite often, yes, I'm sure you can relate with that. But this next part of that conversation was, is he challenged me to not only think about owning my choices, but he's a brother in my faith and he just said, man, I encourage you to spend some time in Romans chapter 12. I actually shared a piece of that chapter in episode one, but I did, I spent multiple weeks, maybe three or four weeks of my daily God time in the morning in Romans 12. And part of Romans 12 says, don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world.

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, by changing the way you think. I shared that in episode one. And then you'll know God's will for you, His good and pleasing and perfect will as it goes on. But the first part of that verse talks about the patterns and behaviors or customs and behaviors of this world. So as I reflected on that, I'm like, well, what are the customs and behaviors of this world? And it really just...

dawned on me that's comparison and performance and perfectionism that's exactly where I was living and what I was struggling with. So once you recognize that now it's starting to to expose the lie right I love shout out to Craig Groschel. Craig if you ever see this podcast man you're a dream guest on this podcast with me but winning the war in your mind all of your books have been super impactful for me. Winning the war in your mind specifically I've read that multiple times. I love your podcast as well but but that book

Basically, the takeaway is expose the lie, replace it with truth. Expose the lie, replace it with truth. So now I'm getting this awareness of this toxic comparison and performance mindset that I'm constantly in, which is preventing me from really being content owning my choices. And then that kind of led me on this journey of replacing the lie with truth. So for example,

knowing I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am created on purpose and for purpose and so are you by the way who's watching or listening to this right now. This idea that instead of the approval of man that I work so hard for, I'm working for an audience of one, right? And that's God. Like I'm already approved and accepted. I'm striving so hard for approval when I'm already, the verdict is in. I'm already accepted. I'm already approved, right? So now I'm learning to work from approval instead of for approval. I'm working from approval. I am approved.

I am accepted. So now I'm just working hard as way to honor God for that truth. It started to shift everything with my mindset. And again, I'm not arrived. This is still something I'm constantly dealing with. But this is the point of the podcast and community is that we can lock arms together and have these conversations together and all make steady intentional progress together. And the other part of Romans 12, as I really spent time digging in,

At the same time of this, I'm also seeking this clarity on my gifting, on my skills and talents or God-given talents, whatever you want to call it, unique ability. But Tom Ferry, I mentioned him a minute ago, he would always ask us the same questions when we'd be in these coaching environments. And the first question was, what's your purpose? I've always known my purpose. My purpose is very clear through my faith and to live that out, you know, through my life. But the second question he would always ask is, what are your God-given talents?

And man, I struggle with that. Tom, when you see this, man, I probably heard you say that.

10 times and every time you would say it I would literally leave the the retreat or the conference or i'm on the flight home wrestling with that like what am I got selling real estate is not a god-given talent now i'm good at it because I love people i'm competitive i'm interested in real estate ⁓ so yeah it's a great interest and it's been a great career but it's not a god-given talent so at the same time i'm spending time in romans 12 and i'm seeking guidance and clarity from people that that love me and know me well i'm spending time in the word i'm

I'm just reflecting on all this. I really came to a season where I gained clarity on that gifting and the God-given talents for me and everybody has their own unique abilities, but that's leadership, communication and encouragement. Well at the same time in this season if you go on in Romans 12, it goes on to say that hey if you have the gift of teaching, teach. If you're an encourager, encourage. If you have the gift of leadership, take that responsibility seriously. So for me that was a very pivotal moment too of really realizing that wow I need to steward this gifting and

step into this role ⁓ much more often. I've been very intentional about that in the last few years as well. So this is all part of the journey, right? The joy is in the journey. So excited to share a lot of this with you. But going back to that realization of this guilt that I'm feeling, What I realized as I continued to reflect is I was really just compartmentalizing so many things in my life. So when you think about...

compartmentalizing, it's like all these different buckets. had my faith, I had my business, I had my marriage, noticed the lines with my hands, I had my kids, I had our church community or our contribution or generosity and finance. You can go on and on and on. There's so many things I was trying to separate in my life and it just wasn't working, right? It was so stressful. And what I learned in this season is the idea of blurring the lines, right?

colliding all these things together. That's the idea of one life where it's this collision of my faith through my business, my marriage and my kids and my family through the business, the purpose and alignment, all of those things working together with the community engagement, with the stuff that we support, you know, outside of America internationally and all those things. It's this idea of one life. So again, bringing faith into the business and marriage and kids and the mission and purpose all aligned. And another way I would explain this is this idea of a bigger life and a bigger story.

Quick shout out to another author, Donald Miller. There's a book that Donald wrote called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and I'm probably gonna ⁓ mess this up a bit, but there's a part of the book where basically it's a couple friends talking and one friend is struggling with one of his kids, it's one of his daughters, just trying to relate with her and she's got a bad attitude and this type of thing, and he says, man, you gotta give her a bigger story.

And he's like, what do mean? goes, well, you've allowed her to live in her little bubble with her loser boyfriend, her loser friends, her loser school group, or her little bubble, whatever. Like you got to open up her eyes. And I said, wow, that's exactly what I got to do. This was this idea of one life. I need to give my kids and my whole family a bigger story and a bigger life. So what's that look like practically for us? What we started to do is bring my kids and bring the marriage and bring the faith into the business. So we took the kids to serve in the city instead of mom and dad just throwing money at something. We roll up our sleeves together as a

We took him to go serve the most vulnerable in our city We took them to to Guatemala to serve it and see an orphanage that we support So it's not just mom and dad doing it or the business doing that is this collision of these worlds together, right? We changed the mission of our company now. It's loving Las Vegas through real estate That's literally our faith our purpose our bigger vision Fleshed out through our business, right? I just took my son Brandon. He I just took him to Orlando for a conference So instead of dad disappearing, you know his dad having fun

for a few days? No, I took him to see what work looks like, what it looks like to network and build relationships and I actually showed him in real dollars and cents how that translates to referrals and income and revenue and how that fleshes back out to this bigger purpose. So it's bringing it all together this collision these worlds is this idea of one life. So I shared a lot with you about the journey. There's so much more I could share but I'm sure you've got the idea. But here's a very reasonable question.

is where am I now? Right? I just shared kind of this last five year summary with you. So where am I now? I'm still in the trenches. I'm still in the trenches, just like you. This is not something we, like I said before, there's no PhD in harmony between work and life. It's something we got to continue to just work on, be intentional with. But every day I do remind myself of these things. Again, I'm working from approval, not for approval.

And I'm grateful for how God created me, the gifting He's giving me, that the purpose and plan He has for me. And I'm trying to order my life around that, which is most important. And again, with the clarity in that gifting, I wanna fan into flames the gifting that He's given me. That's another, you know, excerpt from the Bible, but I wanna fan into flames the gifting He's given me. Step into that, own it. And I wanna blur the lines between faith, family, and business, and truly live this one life that He has given me.

And that's my encouragement and invitation to you as well. So I don't have all the answers, but what I do know is this, the foundation of everything in my life, my business, my family, my kids, my leadership, is that relationship with Jesus for me. Now this is not a Christian podcast, but I will be very, you'll hear many other comments in the episodes to come. It's just the foundation of what I'm building my life on. ⁓

Because without him, I'm running on empty. I'm sure you can relate, I'm running on empty, but when I stay connected to him, there's fruit. So this podcast is about real conversations, real challenges, real struggles, and real solutions as we work together to find that harmony between work and life. In the next episode, I'll be sharing my hope, which is really just my vision for this podcast and community, and how we can walk this journey together.

So I just want to thank you again for being here. If this story, if my story resonates with you or you think it could encourage somebody, share it, share it with somebody and I'll see you back for episode three. hope this episode encouraged you today. Thank you for subscribing, sharing and rating the podcast. It truly means the world to me and be sure to visit the one live podcast.com to join our community. That's where you'll find updates on virtual meetups, special events and more. And remember.

God traded you on purpose for a purpose. You don't have to choose between a life of significance and a thriving business. You were made for both. This is One Life.