Today’s podcast recording almost didn’t happen. In fact, many of my recent plans have been sidelined. So I’m talking about what’s going on, what it means for my work, and what I’m doing about it now.

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Today's podcast recording almost didn't happen. I am

in quite a bit of pain right now because my low back has gone

out. Now I have dealt with far worse

personal setbacks in the past year and a half. So relatively speaking,

this actually feels mild compared to those, but it is

still extremely limiting just in a very different way.

And having chosen to use this podcast as a way to

share my progress, trying to grow and reach an audience as

a speaker and writer, I am even more aware of my

setbacks and things that are slowing me down and sort of halting

my momentum. So what happens when you make a plan

and then life hands you a lemon instead? So today I'm sharing

what this injury means, how it's impacting my ability to

work, and what changes I'm making because of it, because I am going to

be making some changes. Oh, and if you're new here, welcome.

I'm Kat, and on this podcast, I am sharing behind the scenes as I try

real-time experiments to help me follow through on what matters and to find

momentum as a speaker and a writer. Okay, so

what's actually going on? I am currently experiencing

persistent low back pain that is not responding

to my usual interventions, and I have 25

years worth of back pain and treatment experience. So this is not my first

rodeo. I've been through this before. It is painful

to sit, to stand for longer than a few minutes, and also

lying down, it's about 50/50. Sometimes lying down is comfortable, but

sometimes it is not. Ironically,

gentle walking is actually when I feel the least pain,

although there are limits on how long I can actually walk. I cannot

just gently walk all day long. So the, this

impact has hit me in a few ways. I cannot stay

in the same position for too long, so it makes it really hard for me

to commit enough time to complete a single task. But

also the pain itself is a mental distraction.

It is really hard to focus on a task or almost anything

when you are in pain. So even if I do find some time

or I, I'm ready to work on something, I am mentally

distracted. It's also really emotionally draining

to have this pain drag on for longer than usual.

And there's also this stress of knowing that I have a

trip that I've committed to. I have, I'm committed to going to Ecamm's Creator

Camp. It'll be my 4th year, I believe. And I still

plan on attending. No, we're going to knock on wood, barring anything

crazy happening between now and then. And actually,

it's not my first time going to a conference while in pain.

As an attendee, I just have to find a seat usually near the back

so that I can switch from seated to standing and just kind of keep

moving without blocking other people's views or distracting them wondering what is

wrong with this woman, because that has happened. Also,

fun fact, back in 2012 while I was speaking at a

conference in Montreal, the audience in the room had no idea that I was

Barely able to stay upright while I was experiencing muscle

spasms during my presentation.

I managed to lean on the table just enough to

kind of find that sweet spot where I wasn't having the active spasms.

But as soon as I made it to the end of the presentation, I sort

of gingerly walked out of the room, made it to my

hotel room in time to call for help and actually

go to the hospital. 'Cause that's how bad it was. And I think that might've

been my first experience with true back spasms. I'd had my

back go out, but actually having the spasms was new to me. And

of course, that's also when I learned hospitals can't do much

for back pain. So that was fun. Okay, so

what am I actually doing about the fact that this back pain I'm

having is interfering with my work? Well, the first

thing I'm doing is just asking, What is mission critical

and focus on that above everything else. And this means

client commitments come first and then everything else kind

of falls into line later and probably will be put off until I

can handle it. And a question that I heard in the past that

actually really helps me in times like this is if I

only had 1 or 2 hours total a day to

run my business, What would happen in that time? To me, it's a

really, really clarifying question. And it's the exact question I've been thinking

about as I am dealing with this back pain is what

does it look like if I only do have 1 or 2 hours

tops to keep my business going? Obviously it's not a good strategy

for growing, but it is something that I can do, uh,

while I am just trying to, to stay sane and try to keep my head

above water at the moment. Now, one of the things that I

have decided is that I am going to adjust

the cadence of my podcast and writing for about the next 6

to 8 weeks. And this is partly inspired by the fact that I do

have a couple of interruptions to my normal schedule. I have 2

different trips that are going to make it really hard to do my usual

podcast publishing the way that I like to do it. And instead of adding

stress of trying to figure out an alternate way to keep it going,

I don't need extra stress right now. So I am going to be

alternating between a weekly article and a weekly podcast. So it

means every other week there'll be a podcast and then every other week

in between I'll have an article if I can sit long enough

to, to write and edit the article. Podcasting is much easier because I can

kind of gently, I'm standing right now as I record this. I can lean on

the desk. I can kind of move gently to stay comfortable,

which is not the same As when I'm seated. Now,

this is something that I feel disappointed that I'm

making this decision cuz I actually really like the weekly podcast schedule,

but I also know that I have physical limitations and I

am in pain, and so I can't do that. The other change

relative to this podcast is that, um, this week

I did not update my tracker because that is lower. That's not mission

critical. I can always do a monthly wrap-up. So in 2

weeks. when I'm back for the podcast, I can do an update on how

September went. And who knows, maybe a monthly update

makes more sense, but we'll find out. So going to every other week

is something that I can feel that my level of

stress kind of ease a little bit. And it doesn't mean that it's a permanent

change, but with any experiment, it is about figuring out, is this

working right now? Is this going to work for the longer term? The

other thing is that from a content perspective, I have been trying to

stay more consistent with posting on Instagram. And

taking it seriously over there. And that has obviously been limited

as well. I did, was not able to get anything done yesterday. And

it is hard, as I said, to record things in pain and being creative

while you're in pain, that's not an easy feat either.

So I am hopeful that there would be a way for

me to, you know, when I'm at my conference,

I might be able to, get inspired with some creative ideas, being around

other people and sort of capture that. But I really need to ask myself,

what is mission critical? And that is also

reminding me, or I'm reminding myself that

this work that I'm doing, this goal I'm pursuing, trying to get my message in

front of as many people as I can. Well, 1 million people is my goal.

It's a marathon. I know it's a multi-year goal.

And It's frustrating when you are slowed down

because you've got this initial energy and I'm really, really excited

about it. So anything that gets in the way can be really

just extremely frustrating. And so I do feel frustrated right now, but that's why I'm

trying to keep some perspective that this is the long game. I am trying

to play the long game and taking care of me and my health

and what I can sustain is also really important. So it's not

necessarily my ideal update for what is going on, but it's the

truth. And I did consider not. Showing up today,

not doing the podcast. Um, but I did decide that

I would put off the decision until this morning,

the day of recording, because I knew that if it was really bad, I could

put it off. But if I thought I could get through it, then I

would do that. Kind of like the conference back in 2012.

I wanted to do it. I wanted to show up, keep that commitment. Uh, but

going forward, I'm gonna switch to that every other week and see how that feels.

So that's my update. I'm gonna keep it a little bit shorter for what I

think our pretty obvious reasons right now, but I

feel good about the changes I'm making. Although I am still disappointed, I think

both things can be true. And these are some of the decisions that you

have to make as you are trying to figure out what works

long-term when it comes to, you know, the long game.

How are you gonna do this? And for me, that means how do I get

in front of the people I wanna get in front of, but do it in

a way where I'm not compromising my body, my health,

and my ability to run a sustainable business. So hopefully you'll come back

in a couple of weeks. I'll have an update. I hope to have

less pain by then, uh, and we'll see where I am on this

journey to build momentum as a speaker and

writer.