What if you don't have to stop feeling anxious to become the courageous woman God has called you to be?

Kristen Mattila Dempsey has lived with anxiety and OCD for much of her life. As a child, she often carried fears and obsessive thoughts that she didn't know how to share, and she learned to hide the struggle because she was embarrassed by it. Years later, after experiencing a season of freedom from anxiety, those struggles returned during a major life transition—and Kristen found herself facing an important question: Can I still be a warrior if I'm still worried?

In this honest conversation, Kristen shares how God invited her to stop hiding her anxiety and begin sharing her story so that her struggle could help others. She talks about the freedom she has found in accepting that anxiety may be an ongoing battle, rather than spending all of her energy trying to make it disappear.

Kristen and Willow also talk about the "warrior in the worry"—the idea that courage isn't the absence of fear, but choosing to show up and keep fighting in the midst of it. They explore how counseling, Scripture, prayer, community, movement, breathing, laughter, and other practical tools can help us navigate anxiety without shame.

If you've ever felt embarrassed by your anxiety, wondered why you can't simply "get over it," or believed that asking for professional help means you're weak, this conversation will remind you that God is not annoyed by your struggle. He meets you in it with compassion—and you can be both anxious and courageous at the same time.

Meet Kristen Mattila Dempsey

Kristen Mattila Dempsey was part of the Collide staff for several years and is known affectionately by Willow as the "Unicorn Whisperer." She is passionate about Jesus, people, friendship, fun, and helping others experience the transforming work of God.

Kristen has also been open about her own experience with anxiety and OCD, sharing her story to encourage others who may feel alone or ashamed in their struggles. In this conversation, she offers an honest and hopeful perspective on what it means to pursue healing while accepting that anxiety may still be part of the battle—and how God can meet us with peace and grace in the middle of it.

Key Takeaways

• When anxiety makes you feel weak or broken: Learn why you can be a warrior even while you're still afraid.
• When you're embarrassed by your anxiety or OCD: Discover the freedom that can come from bringing your struggle into the light instead of hiding it.
• When you're frustrated that anxiety keeps coming back: Learn to shift your energy from trying to "beat" anxiety to building tools that help you respond when it appears.
• When you're hesitant to seek counseling: Be encouraged to see asking for help as a brave and courageous step toward healing.
• When anxious thoughts start taking over: Discover practical tools—from prayer and Scripture to breathing, movement, laughter, and supportive community—that can help you find peace.

How This Episode Will Encourage You

You don't have to wait until your anxiety disappears to call yourself courageous. You can show up as a warrior in the worry, trusting that Jesus meets you with compassion and gives you what you need for the battle in front of you.

Resources + Links

A 5-Week Guide to Help Manage Your Anxiety

The Birds & The Lilies: A Bible Study for Anxiety

Books mentioned: Burnout

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Welcome to the Collide Podcast. We're a growing community of everyday chicks colliding with Jesus in our mess, our pain, our joy, and our stories.

We value showing up as we truly are. So that's what you'll find here.

Walls and masks being torn down so that we can allow Jesus to meet us where we truly are and hear about other women doing the same. We can't wait to collide with you.

What I misunderstood was that being a warrior meant you didn't have any struggles or you weren't going to be afraid or have anxiety. But once I realized that, like, I could be a warrior and actually still be afraid, actually might make me more courageous.

Welcome to the Collide Podcast. I'm Willow Weston, the founder and director of collide.

In fact, if you were to look on my phone and see where she's at on my contacts, it's the Unicorn Whisper. And when people who we work with, whether it's church partners or whatever, need her phone number, it's a little awkward.

In fact, I set her up on a date once and I had to send the guy her contact. And it wasn't her name. It was the Unicorn Whisperer. She is so fun, full of energy, a blast to do life with.

She's the chick who was walks into work for everybody's birthday with, like 10 balloons. She loves just a little flare, sparkly shoes, kittens, Taylor Swift, fun outings with her friends.

She started a tandem bike society she loves so well. She has three sisters, goddaughters, a nephew, friends. She loves running, snowshoeing, playing soccer, tennis, and she loves Jesus.

She is very inspiring and inspired to run hard after what God called her to do. She took a huge leap to come on our staff, jumping from the business and corporate world into the crazy life of vocational ministry.

And her real name is Kristen Matala. And we get to talk to her today about a really fun topic, anxiety. But she will make it fun because she is fun.

But it is a very real topic in our lives. And so I just want to welcome you, the Unicorn Whisperer.

Thank you. I am so excited to be here.

It. It. It's fun to hang out with you in this way. I. We get to hang out every day, but I'm Glad that people get to hang out with you and.

And hear your heart. So you. You've been a pretty open book with people in your life about anxiety. And I just want to start by asking you, why do you feel so freed up to.

To share so authentically about this struggle that you have?

Yeah, that's a great question. And the truth is, I didn't always feel freed up to talk about it.

And it wasn't until I was in New Mexico about eight years ago when I was in grad school that I sort of had this moment with God where I felt like he was nudging my heart to be more open about it. I was always really embarrassed about my anxiety and the obsessive compulsive disorder that I have. I wanted to hide it.

I didn't want people to catch me in anxiety or any of the checking things that you do when you have ocd.

I had it really bad when I was a kid and in high school and then I got to college, and it really went dormant for a while, and I had a lot of freedom. And I was like, yes, I've beat this. This is so great. I don't have anxiety anymore. I'm not going to.

No one will ever know in college that this used to be my struggle, and I really kept it hidden.

And when I started to open up about it a little bit, when I started to notice it coming back, there were some friends, unintentionally, who were like, you don't have anxiety. Like, that's not a struggle for you, or. Yeah, right. Like, you're just kind of making that up.

And so when I started to open up about it, I had that kind of feedback. And so it just made me want to keep it hidden a little bit more.

But anyways, when I moved to New Mexico, really big life change, my anxiety got all triggered again. And I remember I was at church, and I was, like, losing it emotionally with the anxiety, the stress. It was just all too overwhelming.

And I didn't like crying. Crying was not my thing. I'm an enneagram8. And I was like, yeah, right, I'm ever gonna cry in public. But I broke down at church.

At the end of the service, they asked if anyone was struggling with anything or needed prayer. And they're like, just raise your hand where you're sitting. And I raised my hand, and I just completely lost it.

I, like, felt like I was crying for 24 hours.

And I remember driving home later that afternoon, and I felt like the Lord said to me, I've set you free and offered you freedom in a lot of the areas around anxiety in your life. And I didn't do that so you could just keep it to yourself and not potentially have your story help other people.

And it was in that moment that I realized that if I. If God was so gracious to grant me freedom in the midst of my fear and anxiety, then I don't want to keep that to myself.

And that's what freed me up to be more open and have the confidence to actually talk about it publicly. And it's been really incredible, the feedback that I've gotten from other people. I've been able to speak about it publicly.

And just the connections that I had with people that I may never have connected with before that had I not been open and honest about my struggle. And just being able to encourage other people has made that feel easier to do over the years. But it's always a struggle.

You know, it's so interesting, and I have so many things I want to kind of break down from what you just said, but can we rewind back to a moment when you were. I don't know if it was when you're a little girl.

I don't know if it was middle school, high school, but kind of the first moment that you remember feeling anxious and recognizing it as such.

I think some of my earliest memories were probably in elementary school. One of the things like what anxiety feels like for me is I almost have two conversations going on.

Like, I'm present with people and I'm engaging and doing the thing, but then there's always this other conversation or current in the back of my mind that's so anxious. And I remember being a little girl and going to soccer practice, and I was always.

I loved playing soccer, and I loved my friends, but it was always, like, really hard to get there. I was always so worried about what if this happens or that happens, or what if I get sick and die on the soccer field?

And that was so overwhelming for me as a little girl.

I remember I have this memory of, like, driving home from soccer practice, and my mom and my other sisters are just talking about how practice was going. And I was engaging in the conversation, but in the back of my mind, I was, like, panicked that I would have cancer and die and all of these things.

And so I have really early memories of being just scared and anxious all of the time. And then that's when I started noticing, probably, too, my OCD stuff started coming in.

You mentioned that you would be embarrassed. You try to hide it try to. You didn't want people to catch that you were anxious or ocd.

What were some of the behaviors that you tended to do to try to hide it so no one would know that you were feeling that way?

Yeah, well, I wouldn't really talk about what I was afraid of, so I really always tried to keep that to myself.

When you're, like, younger, that's, like, a lot too keep internally until it sort of, like, finally started opening up to my parents, and they were, like, so incredible with what I was dealing with. But with ocd, you sort of have these obsessive fear thoughts.

And as a way to control what you're afraid of to prevent it from happening, you have compulsions that you do. So that might be like checking the locks on your house, like, 10 times before you leave or opening and closing a drawer in your bedroom.

And so I remember doing those sorts of things when I was a kid and a teenager and not wanting people to notice because I'm like, that's so embarrassing. Like, what if someone catches me checking? But part of OCD is like, I couldn't stop checking because I was so afraid.

And I was convinced that doing all of these little things would prevent the horrible things that I was afraid of from happening to me. And so I just tried really, really hard to keep it a secret.

What a scary place to be alone in.

I mean, where you feel like you're battling all of these fearful, anxious thoughts and you're hiding them, and then you're kind of carrying out behaviors that comfort you, but you don't want people to see that you're doing that. And it all could have been kept very silent and secret. I love that you shared with your amazing parents, which they are. Kristen's parents are.

Your parents are like the kind of people that adopt everyone and love everyone. I love your parents so much. But of course, they responded in such an amazing way. Not everyone has that experience. Right.

I mean, I've heard of people who, you know, their parents would just be like, stop doing that. You stop doing those, you know, things you're doing to try to comfort yourself.

Like, parents feel scared themselves, and so they can respond in a different way. You mentioned going through a period of time where it went dormant. Why do you think your anxiety and OCD went dormant for. For a length of time?

Yeah, I wish I knew the answer to that, because at that point in my life, I was like, I'm cured. Like, I don't have anxiety anymore. Like, this is so amazing. Like, it. Like, it was Like a cold drink of water in the desert. Like, I.

It was hard for me to play sports growing up. I was always, like, so paranoid about passing out. And I know that sounds kind of funny, but I was so afraid of these things.

So I got to college, and I played on our, like, the club tennis team, and I was doing all these things, and I'm like, I'm not afraid of doing these things anymore. I can actually just go play tennis and have fun. And it was really amazing.

I feel like I'm really, like, interested in the neuroplasticity of the brain and rewiring your brain. And I've read a lot of books on that, and it's like, we can't, like, dive into all of that.

And I'm not a neuroscientist, but there's, like, our blame. Our brains are changeable, and we.

I sort of think at that point in my life, I was really rewiring my brain, and I got really dedicated to sort of prayer and Bible verses and different things that I was, like, doing religiously every morning to try to help me sort of reset my focus. And for some reason, I was in a place where I just wasn't getting triggered like it used to. And that was really awesome.

You mentioned, you know, that you had freedom in the midst. You feel a sense of freedom in the midst of anxiety.

I kind of want you to break that down for us, because you still have anxiety, and yet you're saying you have freedom. So what does that look like, to experience freedom while you also visit anxiety sometimes?

Yeah, I think.

Well, for me, it was becoming more comfortable with the fact that it's gonna probably might be here forever, and it's not something that I can necessarily be cured of or will go away.

And I think coming to that understanding provided more energy to be able to pursue those things that brought me peace and comfort, rather than targeting all of my energy towards, I have to beat this. I have to fix this. What's wrong with me? Why can't I pull everything together?

And instead finding those things that bring me peace and comfort and being able and learning over time how to focus on those things and transition when I'm being triggered or I'm feeling really stressed out or anxious, having those tools available to be able to help, that's sort of some way that I'm able to find comfort in the midst of this ongoing struggle.

It's such an interesting idea that you're bringing up, and I love that we're talking about it.

We didn't Plan on talking about this, but I think as humans, we can spend a lot of energy hoping to find victory in something where we no longer experience it. And there is something that happens when we decide that it might be a battle, that on this side of the perfect place. That's what I like to say.

On this side of the perfect place.

It's like the thorn, you know, that Paul talks about in the New Testament, that he would plead and ask God to release from him, and God never released it from him. But there are things I. I have things that I wonder if I will be showing up every day battling those things.

And is the victory in knowing that you will fight the battle, but you're going to show up every day and fight it. And I know that God's with you in it. I remember you and I had a conversation.

I don't know how much you want to go into this, but at one point, your first time that you shared at a Clyde conference, I. I think the topic of your talk was something like a warrior, not a worrier. And then after I hired you and you'd been working at Collide for some time, you. You came to me, and I. I think I sensed. And you.

You can say back how you feel about it, but you came to me concerned that maybe you're not a warrior and you're still a worker. And what would that look like for you to be in ministry if you still struggle with anxious thoughts?

And to me, the freedom and the victory is when we're a warrior in the worry.

Like, it's not like, oh, you're only a warrior when you no longer have worry, is that you're a warrior showing up for the battle, knowing God's with you, to fight it in the midst of worry. So that, like, when I talk about that, is that the kind of freedom that you're talking about?

Are you talking about freedom where you no longer have ocd, you no longer have anxiety, you're completely cured, you're freed, it's dormant. Or are you talking about. No, I'm trying to figure out how to be a warrior in the worry.

I think it's being a warrior in the worry.

And I remember that day, I actually had just gone to a counseling session, and I was like, I gotta go tell Willow we're gonna have to rip out my story out of the Birds and the Lilies Bible study. Like, I actually still have anxiety.

And this is making me anxious at the fact that my story of, like, how God saw me through that is, like, this Bible study And I still think that, like, God gave me, like, has rescued me and given me deliverance and has, like, been so gracious to provide peace for me. But I think what I misunderstood was that being a warrior meant you didn't have any struggles or you weren't going to be afraid or have anxiety.

But once I realized that, like, I could be a warrior and actually still be afraid, actually might make me more courageous, I was reading this book, and this author said that some of the most courageous and brave people that he knows are people that have struggled and wrestled with deep anxiety their whole life. And when I read that, I was like, oh, I actually never saw myself as someone who was strong and courageous.

I just thought I was this weak, worrier person that, like, couldn't get a handle on what was going on. And so I think that freed me up to be able to have the mentality of a warrior in the midst of the battle against anxiety. And.

And that maybe I'm stronger because of that, and I'm not strong just because I got rid of it or I thought that I did or had hoped that I did.

Yeah, it's like a false promise that we've believed, like, we can only be warriors and experience victory and freedom when we no longer have struggle. I think warriors, the entire idea of a warrior is that they show up to battle.

And I. I had someone that I meet with for wisdom in my life recently who said, you don't win a war by showing up to one battle. You win a war by fighting battle after battle after battle.

And so I love that God has shifted your perspective and moved you into this sense that somehow you don't need to feel more anxiety on top of the anxiety, that somehow you have to no longer have anxiety, and until you do, you're not a warrior in life. Yeah. You know, we've experienced. We're having this conversation in. In.

You know, it's been over a year of having a really challenging season in a pandemic that. That has brought up a lot of anxiety. It's been a rough year for most people. How did anxiety come out and say hello to you this year?

Yeah, paid me a visit.

And one of the things, for me especially is when I start to feel out of control with ocd, I work really hard to control everything, which is why people who have OCD often have all of these, like, compulsive behaviors, because it's a way of controlling the uncontrollable.

So in a year where everything started to feel out of control, I started to get triggered by my, like, the stress in my life, the anxiety, and it was just. It. It wasn't easy. And then on top of that, like, there were just a lot of other things that happened in my life.

Like, both of my grandpas passed away last year, and that was really hard. And then I've always been afraid of hurting my back, and I hurt my back doing a little workout in the gym.

And that also, like, really triggered my anxiety. So there were just things that we were sort of collectively experiencing that was. That caused an increase in stress and anxiety for all of us.

And then on top of that, there were just other things that were happening in my personal life that were compounding on top of that. And that just made it start to feel pretty out of control for me.

And then that starts to manifest in sort of the physical ways that I experience anxiety.

What did you do to meet yourself in the midst of that and try to find peace and a sense of calm?

Luckily, I was already seeing a counselor before all of this hit, and that was a real source of peace and safety for me. I.

Over the years, I've really built up a toolbox of, like, these are the different things that I can do to lower my stress levels so that my anxiety doesn't get triggered. Like, hanging out with my friends and doing really fun things like tandem bike riding around town or playing soccer, playing tennis.

And all of these things I no longer could do. So I felt like I was like, well, I don't. I remember being in a counseling center. I'm like, I don't know what to do.

Like, everything that I do to not let my OCD start running wild, I can't do those things anymore. Like, what am I supposed to do? I have, like, stomach aches all the time. Like, I can't calm down. My.

Like, I'm just ruminating over everything in my mind all the time. And so I had to re evaluate what it looks like. And that wasn't easy.

And I feel like I'm kind of figuring out how to manage that, what that looks like. I mean, there's like, small things. Like, one thing that a book I read last year was called Burnout, and I highly recommend it.

We could put a link to it in the. In the notes. But that really helped me understand this idea of completing the stress cycle.

And, um, they say that, like, if you're not completing the stress cycle, then you're just compounding all these stresses and anxieties in your body. And the easiest way to complete that stress cycle is to Just move your body.

And I used to think that that had to be, like, really hardcore CrossFit workouts. Otherwise, I wasn't doing it. But after, like, being injured, I had to reevaluate that.

And that looks like going on a walk with, like, my sisters or just, like, doing some yoga or moving my body. So I was able to even I couldn't do soccer and all the things that I love to do.

I had to find, like, other small ways to at least get moving my body to sort of get myself outside of my head. So that was really helpful in trying to figure out new ways to deal with anxiety in the pandemic when we're sheltering in place.

Yeah. You mentioned going to counseling. Why do you think counseling has helped you? And is that where you've kind of added tools to your toolbox?

Has that been, like, one of the main places that you found tools for your toolbox?

Definitely. I think counseling really helped me get unstuck and pinpoint the areas of my life where anxiety clearly had a hold over my life.

But then some of the other ways that I had just become so accustomed to, to living my life a certain way that I thought that was just, like, normal for everybody, but actually it was my anxiety and my ocd. So it's been really, really helpful and making me more aware of where anxiety is showing up, why it's showing up, and what can we do to.

My counselor always says, like, be kind to your anxiety and sit down at the table with your anxiety and have a conversation about, like, what are you afraid of? So now I feel like I have the tools to be able to pause and have those conversations with my anxiety.

That allows me not to get so far down the road with worry and anxiety that so I'm catching things a little bit earlier. So that's been really helpful and just, like, overall awareness of what actually is going on in my mind and why. And so it's been.

And then just having someone to talk with and process it. I think that's still a big thing for me is, like, not always knowing where to talk about it or how to process it.

So having, like, a trusted counselor to be like, this is, like, what I'm freaking out and panicking about this week, and just talking it and naming those fears and saying them out loud can be so therapeutic and freeing. It's just like a weight sometimes is lifted off my shoulders after I have a counseling session.

Yeah. The way I always liken counseling when I talk to people is to have a hour set aside that's just about you every single week.

A place where you can go and process what's at the, you know, kind of like right at the surface for you. That's coming up. I mean, it's. It's a gift to have a place on your schedule when you think about women.

Because you and I obviously collide is all about inviting women to collide with Jesus. And he desires. And we. We teach this all the time around, around here, but Jesus desires healing for all parts of who we are.

And he wants us to experience wholeness in the places that feel broken and peace and the places that feel anxious. And he cares if we're anxious and he cares if we're struggling.

And we feel like we're showing up to battle and we have no sense of feeling like we're a warrior, like we can expect freedom and victory in. In the struggle. When you think about women who are on the fence about counseling, what's your encouragement to them?

I mean, do you want them to jump the fence or. And if so, why?

Yeah, there's like a couple things. I love what you're saying about how Jesus cares about your anxiety and he cares that we're going through.

I think for me, over the years, I sort of picked up a little toxic theology around fear is a sin and it's wrong that you worry so much.

So I to internalize that everything that I was struggling with was bad and God was annoyed with me or frustrated that here Kristen is again, she's praying about the same thing over and over again. And I just heard that from people in Bible studies.

And so I think I kind of got this idea that maybe God didn't care so much about my anxiety and if it was so bad, then, like, who would I be to actually ask. Ask for professional help for this?

But what I realized over time is that, like, Jesus actually really cares about what we're struggling with, and he meets us in the middle of our anxiety, and he's empathetic and he cares and he's compassionate, and the last thing that he is is annoyed with us.

And it's sometimes easy for people that don't struggle with anxiety or any of these things to be like, let's get over it, or like, God tells you not to worry, so don't do it. It's just not that simple.

And so I think once I was able to realize that Jesus actually wants to meet me in the middle of this and he cares about me getting help, then I was a little more kind and compassionate to my anxiety. Which then I think opened up the doors for me to say yes to healing in the way of going to a counseling office.

And so I think when we can kind of shift that mentality that your anxiety matters to God and it matters that you find peace and he wants that for you. And there's like, great tools to help you do that, that makes it a little bit more accessible for us to like, go and ask for help.

Because it's not a bad thing to ask for help. It's actually a really brave, strong and courageous thing to do, to show up and say, I'm struggling with this.

I kind of want to talk to a professional. And I so, so often, like, I wish I would have gone sooner. Like, I've known years before this, I'd always have moments. I should go to counseling.

I think I need to go to counseling. But I was too embarrassed and prideful and I was convinced that I could handle this on my own. And I was so stuck in this. I have to beat this.

And like, God's going to be upset with me if I don't beat this. And I need to prove to him that I'm going to beat this. But I realized that that actually, like, isn't what's going to happen.

And so I finally had a moment where I'm like, I'm stuck. I'm doing literally the same thing over and over again and getting the same result. I need help. And then that's finally why I went.

And it's been a truly healing process for me.

I love that, that you're being real about it and you are allowing Jesus to meet you in, in what is real and what is true about where you're at. And you bring up the idea of toxic theology.

It's so interesting that you bring that up because when you were talking, I was thinking about, you know, you know, when you, you've maybe done this or maybe you're too nice to do this. I'll say I've done this. But I've seen people do it too. You know those people who talk constantly about the same problem over and over again.

And you know, they ring your phone and you're like, oh, man. Like, I don't have time for like, you know, an hour long convo about the same, like, problem that we've been talking about for years.

Like, I think sometimes we think God is like, we are to that person.

Yeah, we.

God is like, oh, God. Like he calls his own name. Oh, God, here they come with the same old problem. Here they come praying about the same damn thing. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And I love that you're, you're realizing that Jesus meets you in such a compassionate way and he cares again that you feel anxious and he's open armed and wants to hear all of your feelings and meet you in that. I, I wrote the Birds and Lilies Bible study that you brought up. And in it I did kind of extensive research.

Obviously as a complete, just ordinary chick over here, I'm. No, no, can be a theologian. That's the study of God. But I have no letters after my name.

But I, I did do an extensive study on when Jesus speaks to worrying and anxiety in the New Testament.

And, and the whole book, Birds and Lilies is really inviting us to look at what Jesus says about worry and anxiety because some people say that we're living in what they call in America, anxiety culture. And when you see what Jesus says, he kind of takes an unexpected twist on worry and anxiety and he ties it all the way back to our sense of value.

I'm wondering how your anxiety sometimes connects to a deep, deep underlying belief somehow that you might sometimes struggle that you're of value or you're worthy or you, you are worthy enough to be chosen and loved.

Yeah, that's a really good question. Earlier you asked me what some of my first memories are of anxiety. And I grew up as a pastor's kid, so I was in church every Sunday.

And I remember being a little girl in elementary school and I was drawn to the scriptures in Matthew 6 and I would like totally not be paying attention to my dad's sermon. I would like, open up my Bible and I was like, I'm going to memorize these verses because even as a little girl I felt so much comfort in the words.

And there's like, at the end of, I think it's like verse 26 and 27, it says, are you not much more valuable than they? Can any of you, by worrying, add a single hour to his life?

And those verses, I think in some way reminded me that I matter to God and that I have value. So much so that even in the midst of everything that I was panicked and freaked out and worried about that.

Like, God was telling me that he cares about me and he's going to take care of me. And that brought me peace in the midst of like a lot of fear as a little girl and has continued to do so over the course of my life.

Just having those like, pockets of time where I remember that I matter and God values me so much so that he'll bring me peace in the midst of. Of worry and anxiety.

And it doesn't always take everything away, but having that instilled inside of me sort of becomes this anchor that I can hold on to when everything. When my mind is ruminating and I'm totally freaking out and losing it. That, like, at the end of the day, I matter to God.

And without that sort of core understanding, it's hard to gain footing in the midst of a storm of anxiety.

Absolutely. I. I love that image of you ignoring your dad's sermons and memorizing scripture. That's.

I was like, I gotta memorize this stuff. This is good. Sorry, dad.

But, you know, life since we're little girls, though, I mean, it has a way of sometimes beating us down and.

And I don't know, maybe I've just had a week, but I'm sure you have had days or weeks or seasons where it's easy to start feeling like you're not enough for your not. There's something that makes you not lovable or not worthy of being chosen or not valued enough to be seen by God or others.

And we experience these things and we start to believe these lies. And it can be like, in one conversation, it could be at a party, in a job interview, it could be in a season. And you mentioned having a toolbox.

And I'm just wondering what's in your toolbox that you pull out when you're starting. Your mind is starting to go to that place of believing those lies somehow that you're not valued enough or valuable enough.

What do you pull out of your toolbox to fight those lies?

There's a couple things that I'll share. One of them that I'm really grateful for having is I have some close friends and a sister who also struggle with anxiety and ocd.

And it's really great to have, like, a safe space with some friends that you can be like, just text them. We have a text thread and we'll just text each other. Like, I'm really freaking out about this.

I know it sounds very irrational and however, I, like, can't kick it out of my mind. And having people that are like, oh, you're not crazy. That's normal. It's okay. How can we encourage you and how can we pray for you today?

That is an incredible tool that I have that I'm really grateful for. To have people to be able to reflect that back to me.

Encouraging words reminding me that peace is possible, reminding me that I'll get through this, even though it Might be a couple rough days. So I'm really grateful for that. And I know that that's not always easy to find, but I think it's something worth pursuing.

And it doesn't even have to be people that struggle with anxiety.

That's really helpful sometimes because it can be really isolating in your mind, feeling like I'm the only person, no one else is thinking these thoughts. But knowing that other people do sort of normalizes it and can actually kind of calms me down a little bit. So that's really great.

I also have been embracing breathing and calming down. I'm very much so a go, go, go person.

And until I injured my back last fall, I hadn't ever really taken the intentional time to slow down, which has actually been really helpful for me to be able to focus on my breathing. Which played into, like, part of the injury was like, I just am a really shallow, anxious breather. So actually breathing is a really great tool.

Like taping, taking deep breaths, like, in the moment, and like, even just like, lying down and doing some stretches on the floor has been like a new tool that I have that's been really helpful. Laughing. I love to laugh. And last summer it was really hard. It was like a tough summer with so much that was going on in the world and in my life.

I just had no hope. And I was so anxious. And I remember there's a day that my sister came to visit and she pulled out some of her old journals from high school.

And if, like, something is going to make you laugh, it's like reading what was, like, so dramatic in high school. And I remember laughing so hard I was crying. I never cry laughing. It was like these deep belly laughs. And I.

After that, I was like, I feel so much better. And I was like, wow, laughing is a tool that I now have. I didn't realize how, like, therapeutic that could be for anxiety.

But there's just something really powerful about just, like, allowing yourself to find something that makes you laugh, even if it's like 10 minutes. Like, I might go back to my worries like, an hour later.

But at least I took a little break because over time, those little breaks sort of like, make you feel less anxious overall. Therapy, obviously, is like another tool that I have in the toolbox.

Scripture and prayer have been something that I really struggle at night before I go to bed. My mind can just get ruminating and freaking out. And I've realized that sort of liturgical prayers have been really help for me, helpful for me.

Very rhythmic things. If I am going to, like, cess over certain things that I'm worried about.

Actually repeating certain prayers instead of that at night has been really helpful for me. And just praying and then falling asleep while I'm praying is actually like, sometimes I will catch. I caught myself the other night.

I'm like, I am so tense and my jaw is clenched and I'm going to sleep like this. And I was like, no, okay, I caught myself in time and I just started praying and I fell asleep praying, and it was like a way better experience.

So those are some of the tools that I have. There are so many tools out there that people use, but those are a few that have been particularly helpful for me this past year.

Madela. I also call you Medala, just for people who know it's your real last name, not the Unicorn Whisperer.

I'm so grateful for you and your life, the way you share your story and for sharing with us some of the tools that you have in your toolbox that you're inviting us to have, for the bravery it takes to keep being a warrior who shows up for battle every day. And I'm just glad we had this conversation. Next time I have you on here, I'd love for you to bring your sister's journal and read to me.

Some high school.

Like, I don't know.

Oh my gosh, it was so funny. It's like, oh, I have a crush on this boy. And oh, my friend has a crush on the same boy too. Like, what are we gonna do?

Like, better turn to the Lord in prayer about this. I don't know. It's just like, so funny, these things. Oh my gosh, it was just what my soul needed that day. It was like a good laugh.

That's next for the podcast, but thank you for hopping on. And for those of you listening, if you're considering jumping off the fence and getting counseling, we have so many great resources.

If you go to wecolide.net and go to our Wholeness and counseling page, there are podcasts and blogs written by counselors and our staff on counseling, how to know if you or a friend need it, how to find counselor that's a good fit for you, what the walking up process could look like. So check out those resources that we have for you.

We also have a manager anxiety kit, and that is an amazing guide that we put together with five licensed therapists and their advice on anxiety. Check that out.

Also, you can check out our Birds and Lilies Bible study, where that's like a, I don't know, 152 page, colorful designed Bible study book that tackles worry, anxiety and fear and what Jesus has to say about it.

Thanks for tuning in to keep up with us.

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