Shownotes
Demon Knight is by far our favorite entry into the Tales From The Crypt universe, and Billy Zane's most incredible performance. William Sadler, Jada Pinkett not yet Smith, Thomas Haden Church, and everything you want in a horror comedy.
Edward Guthmann of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote that, "though the film is dull and slow-paced, if I were 12, I might've loved it."
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Tales From The Crypt Demon Knight
[00:00:00] Scott: Welcome everyone to the last video store Clerk's podcast with Frank and Scott. The days of
[00:00:09] Frank: Blockbuster Hollywood and the independent video
[00:00:11] Scott: store are over, but searching the shelves for that special overlooked movie will never end the one that really sticks with you forever. Let's drown ourselves in a sea streaming services and ask the question, What the fuck is that?
[00:00:22] Does this hold up? And just, what the hell is a good movie? Anyway, I'm Frank Roll. I've Scott Moran and we are the last video
[00:00:28] Frank: store clerks.
[00:00:33] So, yeah, I
[00:00:33] Scott: barely avoided death yesterday. Oh yeah, you almost died. A pumpkin patch. So yeah. Some real
[00:00:38] Frank: ho patch. Uh, you know, when I was talking to you about it, I was like, this is a perfect setup for a horror. Huge group of us. Were planning on meeting at a pumpkin patch in Temple, Texas, a pumpkin patch in October, month of Halloween.
[00:00:48] The fucking parking lot caught on fire. It turned out basically the minute we were pulling out of our driveway. It's a
[00:00:54] Scott: field. How does Oh, it's a field. It's
[00:00:56] Frank: a field. That's why, you know, you go to stuff here. Pumpkin patch is wildflower farms, shit like, you know, kid things are outdoor stuff. If you're going out to the country a lot of the times a parking lot is just a field.
[00:01:05] Scott: Did a car
[00:01:06] Frank: catch on? So yesterday they were still uncertain, but best guess is either a vehicle was running cuz you know, they're like, don't idle on dry grass. So either somebody was idling on the dry grass or somebody went out there to smoke and didn't put their fucking cigarette butt out all the way.
[00:01:20] Cause you know that's how three quarters of the fire start in Texas is goddamn cigarette. But people don't put their shit out. Right. Don't throw 'em out your window. It's tempting. Don't do it , just keep a fucking Coke can if you don't wanna buy an
[00:01:30] Scott: ashtray. So you got final
[00:01:32] Frank: destination. We did, like I said, we missed it by an.
[00:01:35] It started during our drive to temple, which is about an hour from where we live, but within two hours it was all over the local news and 20 cars, 20 fucking cars at least, got burnt in the fire. They closed the farm. Uh, but yeah, just, uh, kind of missed disaster like that, but great setup for a Halloween horse story.
[00:01:54] Scott: Well, I mean, I guess at least it wasn't a corn maze. ? No,
[00:02:00] Frank: That shit on my way back from Kentucky and Indiana, Arkansas was on fire. I hope everybody was okay, but my thought was, get the fuck outta here before they start closing highways. October. Was it a corn maze? It there was corn and cotton . I was in the middle of corn and cotton fields in Arkansas and I saw a whole tree line on fire.
[00:02:17] I said, Fuck it. I was going like 90, a hundred, just like get me the fuck off this little two-lane highway. I did not want to get stuck in the farm. Of East Arkansas. .
[00:02:26] Scott: Have you ever been to a legit corn maze? House of terror level that or house of Tor?
[00:02:31] Frank: So I've been to a real one in Bastrop, Texas. It was for a Halloween thing, but it wasn't scary.
[00:02:37] Scott: Oh, they didn't have like a guy with a
[00:02:38] Frank: chainsaw or it wasn't a haunted maze. It was just a corn maze, but it was legitimate. Like this was corn that was 8, 10, 12 feet high. I went with my sister's boyfriend at the time. We thought we were cool. We felt the way out. Everybody else got out. We were in there an extra 20, 30 minutes.
[00:02:55] Oh my God. So it was a real corn maze. We got fucking lost. You got panicked? I didn't panic. I got frustrated. You know, I wasn't scared but I was, I just couldn't fucking believe cuz I thought I was hot shit. But yeah, I didn't get scared. It was daytime. If it was Demon Knight time I probably would've been a little freaked out.
[00:03:09] Um, but no, cuz we went to one in Marble Falls at Sweet Barry Farms. You could see through the fucking corn to the
[00:03:16] Scott: next Oh yeah. Texas corn. Yeah. .
[00:03:18] Frank: You know you could see the fucking maze from like row to row, you know, section to section. This one in Bastrop though. You didn't know where the fuck you were going.
[00:03:25] We got lost.
[00:03:27] Scott: Yeah. Yeah. Go Bastrop. That's Texas for you. All the wildlife is skinny. All the plants are skinny and all people are fat. I know, man. That road
[00:03:35] Frank: trip I saw real trees, you know, going through Tennessee and such. Fucking beautiful fall. It's a season there. The trees were changing and leaves were falling.
[00:03:43] It's beautiful. Not like here where the trees are fucking confused. They're like, Wait, eh, Is it, is it, is it time? Should, should I drop my leaves? Should I start sapping? Does the yellow pollen need to go on everything just yet? Um, no, man, the trees here are
[00:03:55] Scott: hesitant. Do you wanna go to work feeling like you're dying?
[00:03:57] Yeah.
[00:03:58] Frank: Like I said, I'm getting over a cold. If I sound extra nasally, it's not just my normal nasal, it's what happens
[00:04:03] Scott: when I travel anytime. And half of it, I think has come back here. The environment trying to kill me. Would you watch this fine end of October,
[00:04:11] Frank: not Halloween related. Did Wedding Crashers , Um, you know, you're looking for something easy that's just
[00:04:17] Scott: on, I mean, if you think of it as the prequel to freaky,
[00:04:20] Frank: um, No scary movies.
[00:04:22] I watched one that we're gonna end up watching next week, so I won't mention. Yeah, but it's
[00:04:27] a
[00:04:27] Scott: goodie. I had, uh, had that on my list and then,
[00:04:30] Frank: yeah, I threw it on as an old but goodie, but it turned into our movie for next week. So to be continued . But the other one that kept popping up in my queue on Amazon fucking prime was bad Candy 2020, you know?
[00:04:43] Is
[00:04:43] Scott: it anthology
[00:04:43] Frank: one? Right? It's an anthology one. So I thought, you know, you'd mentioned Kelly watched one. So then you showed her tales from the dark side. Yeah,
[00:04:50] Scott: I think I made her watch, uh, Trick or treat as well, which is probably my favorite of the anthology Halloween. And
[00:04:57] Frank: that one I put off for a while and when I watched it I thought, How did I put this off?
[00:05:00] Scott: God, it was so good. It was brilliant. Yeah. Love Trick or treat under the radar cast
[00:05:04] Frank: too. Okay, well speaking of cast, this one bad candy, this anthology horse series. So Top Build. It's a guy Zack Galligan. I was like, Oh, he looks. Oh, who's he? Oh, it's fucking Billy
[00:05:15] Scott: from Gremlins. No shit
[00:05:17] Frank: opposite. Corey Taylor from Stone Sourer.
[00:05:19] Or you may know him from Slipknot.
[00:05:22] Scott: I, I thought did think it was weird that you said Stones Sourer first. I did that on purpose. I wanted to see your face . Yeah. Who says Stones Star? I made our face like I smelled something terrible. Well, and I know he did
[00:05:31] Frank: something else and I was gonna look up the name of that and I didn't have time
[00:05:34] But anyway. Corey Taylor, you got Billy from fucking Grem. And that's about it. The other two, like Top build, I feel like they're the security special forces guys in action movies. Oh
[00:05:44] Scott: yeah. They're, because they're their credits. Mini size mores. That's what I think of them as well. Yeah.
[00:05:48] Frank: Their credits, their movie credits are fucking amazing, but they're like, you know, Bodyguard number two or Soldier three.
[00:05:55] So that's your top build cast. It was okay. It was pretty good. All right. It, um, you know, it starts with like a group of kids, so I was like, Oh, cool. It's gonna follow like loosely around the kids and it does, it gets. It gets gory. There's some real, what the fuck moments. And then there's some really good ones where they know the level of quality of this movie.
[00:06:14] Scott: Oh yeah, that's, do that.
[00:06:16] Frank: Yeah. Fucking goofy, gory, entertaining. Not, you know, Look, it had a 4.2 on imdb. I, I'd say it's about a four, 4.20 in my mind too. Nothing spectacular. Nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes you need that though. Yeah, there, there were some awesome killing scenes. Like they killed some other fuckers in some gory ways.
[00:06:37] I did appreciate that. But it wasn't jump scary. Oh, it wasn't jump scary whatsoever. It was just, you know, there's like an evil clown funny at times. Good enough. I, I might watch it again later. Maybe I'm, I wouldn't recommend it to anybody. If you come across and you got time. Give it a shot. Right on. Um, yeah.
[00:06:57] And I'm not talking about
[00:06:58] Scott: the other one. , we watched all of the Imperfects on Netflix. Okay. As a TV series. I thought it was gonna be a horror thing. That's why we started it. Mm-hmm. , because I guess Netflix marketed it to me that way. They did not. Do that with Kelly's profile. Apparently it's, it's like, uh, do you ever watch Misfits or Heroes?
[00:07:17] Yeah. Sort of thing. So it's like kids who are in a drug trial and they get superpowers because they were told to take these pills their whole life and then the doctor stops giving them to 'em to see what happens, and they all get like sort of weird superpowers. Like one of 'em can hear everything. And this is like a ban and one is a chewa.
[00:07:37] He turns into a coro sort of werewolf thing. It was silly and dumb, but I liked it a
[00:07:42] Frank: lot. I think I'd seen him preview
[00:07:44] Scott: for that one. It wasn't quite as good as like Misfits is. Mm-hmm. , you know, or Umbrella Academy or anything like that. It was worth watching. I was into it.
[00:07:52] Frank: Well, like I said, I'm good with one season of Umbrella Academy.
[00:07:55] Scott: Oh really? The Second Season's great. It's fantastic.
[00:07:59] Frank: S S D D, ,
[00:08:02] Scott: No, this story is completely different. The second season, it's the same thing. No it isn't.
[00:08:07] Frank: I got like three or four
[00:08:08] Scott: episodes in. Uh, it, it changes up quite a bit. Okay. And then it goes, third season goes in a completely different direction. Um, you should give that another go.
[00:08:16] It was a good. I don't like old Gorilla Arms, . That's, that's really what bothered you, wasn't it? Well,
[00:08:21] Frank: he got killed by Dragon. Why is he even there?
[00:08:26] Scott: I also watched a Terrible Into the Dark Hulu movie, which are hard to find on imdb because apparently IMDB classifies it as a television anthology series, like creep show or something. Okay. Uh, but they're all movies. Only Some of them are good. The tree house was terrible. Hmm. We actually turned it
[00:08:47] Frank: off.
[00:08:47] So is this shorts that are in one movie? No, they're
[00:08:50] Scott: an hour and a half. That's how the end of the dark things, They're full length movies. Uh, pka was one. Oh, PKA was one of PAH returns, apparently. Oh, no, they didn't. Yeah, they made another one. Not good enough. Every now and then, one of those is really great.
[00:09:02] And this one was not. That was the one we watched right before the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I was like, Why does this get such bad reviews? This Texas Chainsaw Massacre is amazing. , It's hard to say that it wasn't because I watched this Tree House movie right before. Right before that. It was like coming up
[00:09:18] Frank: for air, you know,
[00:09:20] But it's, It sounds like it's just what you needed though to kind of recover. It was great.
[00:09:24] Scott: Nice. There is, uh, one scene in particular that I was like, I hope that happens. And then it did and then we've been watching Scream Queens cuz I never watched all of it. You never? Okay. Not all of it. I, uh, was watching it as it came on on Hulu back when they did that like one episode a week.
[00:09:41] So I re-watched what I'd watched with Kelly and then we've been moving on. I love that. From that show. I do need breathers
[00:09:47] Frank: from the horror. What's that character's name? The guy who's super peppy. Do you know who I'm talking? Oh, he was awesome. Fuck. I wish I remembered his name. Oh, Glen? I think so. Yeah. He was so.
[00:09:59] Scott: Or Chad Radwell is his name. Glen is his name. In real life, because he went to high school with my ex-girlfriend. Oh really? Yeah. . No, he's fucking great.
[00:10:07] Frank: He was perfect for that. It's hard to, He's in other stuff and I like him, but the way he played that was so good. He ramped that up. So
[00:10:14] Scott: good, So good. Especially the way he like talk about how he wanted to have sex with the staff and stuff like that.
[00:10:19] I thought I could just come and have sex with the staff, but that's cool. I guess I'll focus on being popular
[00:10:29] Frank: He's got that face
[00:10:30] Scott: and the fucking guy with no arms, cuz both his arms cut off and then they're like doing chugging contests with him or
[00:10:40] Frank: Oh man, it was so good. I would love to go back to that one.
[00:10:43] Scott: Jamie Lee Curtis is fucking great in
[00:10:45] Frank: that. Hey, remember that show Pushing Daisies. He's that a good one? That was a good one. That was back in like oh six. Did
[00:10:49] Scott: you watch Wonder Falls, the one he did before that? No. It was about a girl who worked at a gift shop in, uh, Niagara Falls, inanimate objects, talked to her, changes the course of history.
[00:10:58] Frank: One thing I forgot to mention was just I pulled up, uh, bad candy on imdb. And I'd looked through it the other night, but what I didn't realize is that Corey Taylor from Stuss Sourer , um, has a writer credit for Resident Evil oh two. That's really weird. Cause that's, that's like explain some things. Yeah.
[00:11:18] And then, uh, I also saw that Slip Knot was in Roller ball remake. Yeah, they were. I, I didn't remember that either. Yeah. But he's, he's got a writing credit for Resident Evil.
[00:11:28] Scott: Maybe he came up with some plot point that they used or something. what? Corey Fucking Taylor, Man. They probably had a song in the soundtrack.
[00:11:33] It's, Oh, it's oh one. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe there's a Slipknot song on the soundtrack. Sometimes I b fucks up and gives writer credits to people who have songs in the movie. Man,
[00:11:43] Frank: based on this little short desCrypttion right here, they're giving him a lot of credit for being a writer in it. Oh
[00:11:48] Scott: wow.
[00:11:48] Yeah. Weird.
[00:11:50] Frank: So fucking weird. That's random because that was early in when Slipknot was first hitting it. Oh, here. That's
[00:11:55] Scott: when our pants didn't fit very well. Don't ever judge Mary .
[00:12:00] Frank: I'm just gonna say that
[00:12:01] Scott: randomly True Detective season. Coming. Did you see that? No. Yeah. Did you watch the third one? No. Uh, the second one was dog shit.
[00:12:10] Fucking Chinatown. Rip off course. It was really
[00:12:12] Frank: hard. Not even sure if I finished it. First one was amazing. You told me three was way better than two. Three was great. Never hit
[00:12:18] Scott: start. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. . It's worth a, a go. I like that you could, I could just watch season four without ever watching. Season four came up
[00:12:25] Frank: right when I was about to pull the trigger
[00:12:26] Scott: on it.
[00:12:26] It's good. Stephen Dorf. I
[00:12:28] Frank: did a prior, I, I did a different priority. I was, I was right there and then something else new was like,
[00:12:33] Scott: Oh, pick me. Pick me. I'm excited about a new one. I think if they give 'em enough time to write them. Mm-hmm. , they're fine. Mm-hmm. , But they didn't give him enough time to write that second one, so he just kind of ripped off the plot of Chinatown , Hey man, And not the good part with the
[00:12:48] Frank: incest.
[00:12:48] There's a lot of unoriginal stuff out there. It's okay. It's
[00:12:53] Scott: all in how you. I mean, true detective is just a true crime. Yeah. Yeah. About the old magazine. I do think watching things this month, like uh, Midnight Club got me first go, but I feel like I've tried to start a lot of TV series lately, and they don't take into account that you need to hook me in one episode.
[00:13:13] Mm-hmm. like the show was pitch. As like three season, and so it lost the episodic nest, which is fine. I'm for that. I still think that first episode, what we're losing is by it not being a pilot where you hooked me in that you're not trying very hard to hook me. Like I have to wait three fucking episodes to find out whether or not I would like this show or not.
[00:13:35] Too much of a commitment. Rings of power, really like that first episode. If I had just based it on that, I would've quit because there was way too much world building. See, I'm just
[00:13:42] Frank: so far out of the loop on Lord the Rings. I need a good refresher.
[00:13:45] Scott: I don't think you do. You're obsessed with getting refreshers on
[00:13:47] Frank: everything.
[00:13:48] I like refreshers. I like to catch the little things. It's all about
[00:13:51] Scott: the little things. I wanna see something with it, does something work with. I don't have any knowledge of this universe or anything like that, so if I forget it, I'll just go ahead and do it. I know Olympia, I don't need to watch fucking eight Jurassic Park movies before I watch a new Jurassic Park movie.
[00:14:05] I get it. It's Jurassic Park. But you man, you're like, I have to watch all of them again before I .
[00:14:12] Frank: Well, Jurassic Park, I don't have to, cuz I watch all of them
[00:14:14] Scott: throughout. I That's a bad example.
[00:14:16] Frank: I know. Yeah, no. Last night, Olympians of friends started talking about Harry Potter very in depth, and I just moseyed onto the other room and gamed it for a little bit.
[00:14:24] I
[00:14:24] Scott: like Harry Potter, but, uh, not enough talk about it. Well,
[00:14:27] Frank: as I said last night, you guys get all up in Harry's Potter. I'll be in the other room.
[00:14:31] Scott: And the sorcerer's bone. Yeah. .
[00:14:36] Frank: Hermaphrodite.
[00:14:38] Scott: Yeah. So for the final, uh, October movie, which we'll see if I can actually get it out in October, we, we have a lot of material now for this, but this is one of my favorite horror movies of all time.
[00:14:50] It was the first time when I was a kid where I was like, just so fucking like little kid excited about a horror movie. Because it was not as, uh, terrifying, but it was still pretty terrifying. It had so much fun to it. Well, I'm always
[00:15:06] Frank: confused as to how mu how many times I've actually seen it, and as soon as I hit play and saw that opening scene, it was sadder behind the steering wheel.
[00:15:12] You were like, maybe a lot. I. I, things have just automatically started popping back in my brain. I was like, Oh yeah, nah, nah, you got this.
[00:15:18] Scott: So this week we watched Tales from the Crypt Demon Knight, which is probably my favorite tales from the Crypt, not episode, but entry. I always like re-watching it and I always don't fuck around on my phone and stuff like that, even though it's a movie I've seen a lot of times.
[00:15:32] So were you saying
[00:15:32] Frank: somehow you watch this more than Tales from the Crypta series somehow? No.
[00:15:36] Scott: No. Oh, okay. Not by any means. Okay. Not at all. I was really there for a second. This is just my. Entry into it, which is weird because this one's not necessarily as close to the silliness of the series. Bordello blood might have been a little bit more, which we also both watched double feature.
[00:15:55] For me, it just started playing right afterwards. Which was a really weird contrast for
[00:15:59] Frank: me. It did not, It took me to some random ass old horror movie I'd never seen that didn't look
[00:16:04] Scott: very good. Uh, I started one of those and fell asleep. It was given like three in the morning by then.
[00:16:10] Frank: Oh, yeah. No, I, I'd never even heard of this one.
[00:16:12] It looked like garbage. It was just one of those that they've got. I don't know why it picked it. I was like, No, but now it's on my Keep wa continue watching and I'm like, Get the fuck off there. Don't
[00:16:21] Scott: even like you Peacock's still not great about their app functionality. Still
[00:16:25] Frank: works better than HBO Max though?
[00:16:27] Scott: Uh, yes. Yes it does. just pointing it out. Yes, very much does. This is my first experience with paying for Peacock and. I'm pleasantly surprised by how much stuff they have. Well, yeah, the
[00:16:36] Frank: shows are good too. They've got some good tv. The Halloween movies are knocking it outta the park. They do get some weird movies, kinda like Paramount Plus gets some exclusives.
[00:16:43] Same thing with Peacock and the movies, but they're tv. Oh fuck.
[00:16:47] Scott: I started fading last night, but I was gonna start the child's play TV series because Looks fun. Looks like, uh, COO's kind of fun, , you know, like that kind, uh, feeling
[00:16:56] Frank: to us. Yeah, this one was great though. Like I said, I wasn't sure how much I'd actually seen it, but once it starts, it all started coming back.
[00:17:03] What's
[00:17:03] Scott: the episode of Tales from the Crew? Not movie. If we excluded movie, what episode sticks out to you the most? The Santa Claus.
[00:17:10] Frank: Oh, all right. Uh, or, um, I think it's, what's her name from? Desperate Housewives. Terry Hatcher. What
[00:17:16] Scott: was the plot of that one? Uh, The
[00:17:17] Frank: Beautiful Forever, Something like that Wasn't there, Almost like a Phantom of the opera mask?
[00:17:22] Scott: Oh, I do remember that. Yeah. There's
[00:17:24] Frank: like a mask and I believe that was the Terry Hatcher one. Um, if not, it was somebody who looked like her. Either the Santa, that one, one of those
[00:17:32] Scott: two, The one I remember the most. Oh, Joe, Joe. Oh, fucking with the nine lives.
[00:17:37] Frank: Was it nine lives? Yeah. And that one, one of those three.
[00:17:40] Sorry, you asked for one. All three of those
[00:17:43] Scott: Joe pants, man.
[00:17:44] Frank: Great. Yeah, and he was great in that one. And remember he was telling the story and then he is like, Oh wait, he
[00:17:49] Scott: forgot one of the deaths. Well, I was trying to remember which ones, because Billy Zane was in, in an episode. Was he an episode? Episode? I couldn't remember which one it was though.
[00:17:57] And I never got a chance to find it because that was harder to do than it sounds. Well, and so
[00:18:02] Frank: Billy Zane is in this pre Titanic, pre phantom post
[00:18:06] Scott: dead calm, yet he's bald like he is. .
[00:18:11] Frank: Exactly, but he's so, I like his swagger in this one.
[00:18:15] Scott: He said that this is his favorite performance he's ever done. He looked like he was, was having fun recently.
[00:18:21] He says he looked like he was having fun with the part. He says he's the best. Billy Zane performance of all time.
[00:18:26] Frank: Okay, guess how many acting credits He has? A lot. It's a big. What is it? 1 73. Holy fuck. That's a lot. That's a lot. Billy Zane has been doing some shit. I started scrolling through it and there were so many, I just clicked on all and got the count 1 73.
[00:18:40] That's good for a guy who's done a lot of mainstream
[00:18:43] Scott: way to go. Yeah, and a guy, I think that he was headed in that big time, direction and sort of at. Something happened. It peter out a little bit. I don't know what happened. I love Billy Zane though. Yeah. I don't think he got Brandon Frazier. Probably not Billy Zane.
[00:18:55] Uh, looks like he would probably punch you in the face. Yeah, I
[00:18:57] Frank: don't think he would tick shit. Uh, but no. Uh, Billy Zane. Yeah. William Sadler. I know you love him. I fucking
[00:19:02] Scott: love Bill Sadler.
[00:19:04] Frank: I thoroughly fucking enjoyed the minor, minor role from John Marquette. God, John La. That's another guy. Eighties, nineties, huge.
[00:19:13] Now you see him fucking every now and then he's still alive, so that's good. And I didn't cheat. I didn't look at mdb, but I couldn't tell you the last thing I saw him in. That's new. No, I, I couldn't either. But John Luquette, man, he was great. Blind date back in the day. Yeah. . God dude fucking loved it. He was just psychotic.
[00:19:30] You know, Jason fucking, was it Kim Bassinger and I almost called him John McLean .
[00:19:37] Scott: I don't know what it is about William Sadler. I don't know if. That he was the reaper in bogus journey. that like seated him in my childhood so deeply. Mm-hmm. . But when I, anytime I see him, even if he's a bad guy or just a crazy person, I love Bill Sadler.
[00:19:52] Well, and in he underrated and
[00:19:53] Frank: in Demon Knight he's got this sexy nineties Harrison Ford, like Indiana Jones thing going on. Yeah. He's got the satchel. He's everything. Got a, the leather jacket, I think it's denim jeans or is it khaki? Was it khaki? I think they're denim. He's like a nineties Indiana Jones
[00:20:06] Scott: in Indian.
[00:20:06] I know. It was much better. Wardrobe than fucking borello of blood. Yeah. Which granted most of it as nudity, but fucking Corey Feldman and Borello of Blood looks fucking awful. and fucking Dennis Miller. The way he's dressed is just ridiculous. Like he's got these baggy. Tapered khakis and like they're almost
[00:20:28] Frank: tennis shoe pants, like some mc hammer shit
[00:20:30] Scott: flight jacket, like bomber jacket.
[00:20:32] Frank: But it's not a member's only, like you would at least expect him to give him the members
[00:20:36] Scott: only jacket. I'm sure it was still like a $300 jacket at the time, but we remember how people were into suede in the fucking nineties. Swayed all kinds of shit. Mm-hmm. purses and stuff. We like shiny things now.
[00:20:49] Frank: Not, not so rub, not so rub, more shiny.
[00:20:52] Scott: So tales from the crypt Demon Knight, which when I was a kid I didn't get to watch Tales from the crypt as much, but I got to see this one. Mm-hmm. . Cause my dad rented it for me. And I remember God, I just like, remember how the light was coming in the living room. I watched this during the day the first time.
[00:21:07] And uh, it spooks me, but I was grinning the whole time. sneezing. I'm glad I waited there. .
[00:21:15] Frank: Those are some
[00:21:16] Scott: deep ones. After the usual Crypt keeper introductions, Demon Knight opens with a high speed chase down at Desert Road in New Mexico. A powerful demon in human form. The collector played by Billy Zza, pursues drifter Frank Breaker, resulting in a fiery auto crash breaker f flees running into the town.
[00:21:32] Drunk Uncle Willie played by Dick. Good name. Dick Miller is such a good name, who shows breaker to a decommissioned church turned boarding house run by Irene CCH pounder. I had no idea the woman's name. I've seen her in a lot of
[00:21:47] Frank: other things. She's so many things and she's always that tough woman. Yeah, and that's a pretty tough name too.
[00:21:51] Cce. She's got three initials and her last name's Pounder.
[00:21:54] Scott: Oh, and she's badass as Irene in this real pounder. Then what the fuck is she chewing?
[00:21:58] Frank: Right, cuz it's not a cigarette, but she spits it
[00:22:01] Scott: out at the camera at
[00:22:02] Frank: one point. At one hits the lens, and then right before the, Yeah, towards the end she, It's back again all of a sudden.
[00:22:07] Yeah, she's
[00:22:07] Scott: got 'em around. I thought it was just the butt of a clove
[00:22:10] Frank: cigarette. There's somewhere in that nightgown man. The mumu underneath the nightgown or something. Yeah,
[00:22:14] Scott: I think I saw her take it out once and put it in her mouth. Who knows what the fuck it is. The guests of the boarding house, including the housekeeper, Gerald.
[00:22:22] For some reason as soon as I wrote it down. Mm-hmm. , I had a harder time saying it. Geraldine? Yeah. Geraldine played by Jada Pinkett. Not yet. Smith, Who is on a work release from prison? Cordelia A prostitute played by Brenda Burke, Her John, Roach. Played by Thomas Hayden Church. There he is, Wings fucking awesome and timid postal worker named Wally, Played by Charles Fleischer.
[00:22:45] When the police and your friend Billy Zane, the collector show up, they find that breaker's ID is fake and the collector claims that he is in possession of a stolen artifact filled with blood in the shape of a key seizing the artifact, a rust breaker, and the collector on account of the high speed chase.
[00:23:01] And the cars were stolen. I believe both cars
[00:23:04] Frank: were stolen. Both cars,
[00:23:05] Scott: jersey. Your friend Billy Zane kills the fucking sheriff. Forcing the collector outside breaker seals the house by dripping the blood inside the key on the entryways. While outside, your friend Billy Zane, the collector, uses his blood to summon lower demons.
[00:23:18] Do you notice he tapped his foot while he was doing
[00:23:20] Frank: that? Like he's, Yeah, I mean, he's like thrown out like Green J
[00:23:23] Scott: blood. Yeah, but it wasn't an impatient tap. The. His glow stick for. He was having a good time. He really was having a good time. He loved it so trapped inside the house eventually breaker reveals the history of the artifact passed from Demon Knight to Demon Knight.
[00:23:37] The key is the last of seven needed for the demons to reclaim creation from the light of God that scattered them across the universe. Kinda like Infinity Stones a little bit. How dare you marvel for Ribbon Off Demon Knight
[00:23:51] Frank: Demon Knight did it first. Bitches, no, doubt it.
[00:23:56] Scott: God commanded a thief named Cre Sore.
[00:24:00] Let's go with sore to fill. The key was the blood of Christ during the crucifixion and since. The key is passed from guardian to guardian, granting them immortality until upon death. It is refilled with their blood. The stars adoring. The key are then burned into the palm of the next Demon Knight's hand scattering and moving closer to formation as the key approaches their successor and the key lead break here.
[00:24:24] I fucking love this movie.
[00:24:26] Frank: Yeah, I mean, he'll let you live if you help him.
[00:24:30] Scott: He might just
[00:24:31] Frank: help him, just help the collector? No. Um, yeah, when he kills the sheriff, my note for that was, uh, I said, Knucklehead, get it knucklehead. Cuz he punches through his head. No
[00:24:42] Scott: knucklehead. The, the way everyone reacts.
[00:24:45] Really sold that scene. Mm-hmm. when he's like swinging it around, trying to get it off his. He's
[00:24:51] Frank: god damn it, it's that kind of shit. Like Tales from the Crew
[00:24:53] Scott: had the perfect like Three Stooges comedy in the middle. That evil dead feel where you were laughing while something was a little
[00:25:00] Frank: freaky. Yeah. And they didn't even have to add those sound effects that are in some movies that are, you know, ,
[00:25:06] Scott: you know, like the mask.
[00:25:07] Frank: Yeah. Dude, that shit was in some serious action or horror movie. I was watching a while back and I was like, Did they really put in a whistle right there,? You know? I was like, What the fuck? Okay. Anyway, the music, that filter song at the beginning was in so many
[00:25:22] Scott: mid-nineties songs. The Cemetery Gates, The Pantera song.
[00:25:25] Yeah. Which was the version where they took all the cock rocks screaming out later in their career. Everybody really liked it In high school, I liked the cock rock version better. It hit harder. It had that like high pitch cock rock scream where it would like match the guitar string. Like
[00:25:40] Frank: so good. Yeah.
[00:25:41] This was the more tame version of that song. It was the more screamy version. Yeah, that that filter song though. I mean that was, Yeah, that made you know right where you were. So this was 95, Cable guy was 95. That was also in that one too. Was it really? Yeah. They got some good royalties from that year.
[00:25:55] Scott: It's been a while since I was a cable guy, but that has underrated. I love that movie. I don't know why I mentioned The Mask, but I did read that, uh, JDX Pinkett Smith, right? Yes. Right. Jada Pinkett Smith almost lost this rollout to Cameron Diaz, and that would've been fucking awful if you ask me, and this
[00:26:10] Frank: was right when Jada Picket was like first coming into Hollywood.
[00:26:12] I feel like, you know,
[00:26:14] Scott: Yeah, I'd only really seen her on fresh prints. Well, I think
[00:26:17] Frank: this was Preset it off, set it off, set it off J Peak for sure. Um, I didn't remember her being in. Caught me off guard. Did you really? Yeah. And, and you know the , the white hair? The white blonde, the
[00:26:28] Scott: platinum. Oh yeah, the bleach.
[00:26:30] Yeah.
[00:26:30] Frank: Yeah. This is, you know, you do like the, the blonde fro. I'm like, Wesley Snipes had it. His was a wig. Hers looked like it was her hair. You
[00:26:39] Scott: know, I was reading that, uh, most, I actually, I heard Glen Howard didn't say it on the, the Always Sunny podcast is most women are wearing wigs on television because doing that to your hair every day and between takes and stuff like, Kill your fucking
[00:26:51] Frank: hair.
[00:26:52] Julianne Marleys did it. Uh, Get The Good Wife for the entire
[00:26:54] Scott: series. I think it's most of 'em. So men's hairs just fried too. Yeah. And
[00:26:59] Frank: then if, if you're gonna be in a series, there's that awkward stage of the plugs, Like the Office season one, Steve Corll. Oh yeah. It was, they were like trying to cover up that they were doing it, but
[00:27:07] Scott: this movie was not based on, uh, EC comic.
[00:27:10] That's really weird.
[00:27:10] Frank: The film was directed by Ernest Dickinson and also Stars Ryan o' Donah. Billy John Shuck is Sheriff Tupper. Gary Farmer is Deputy Bob, and of course John Cair as the voice of the Crypt Cuper. I saw his picture on imdb and it threw me off. He doesn't look like
[00:27:24] Scott: you would
[00:27:24] Frank: expect. It doesn't look like what you'd expect for the Crypt Cuper voice.
[00:27:27] Scott: It's one of those things when you look up video game voices and stuff like that, like Joel from last of us, who has this voice like this, like that guy has a mohawk in real life. awesome. Yeah. . Oh
[00:27:38] Frank: man. Unlike episodes of the HBO series, the sCryptt for this movie was written two years prior to the HBO series and is not adapted from the EC comics.
[00:27:47] First planned is Tom Holland's follow up to child's play. When that didn't pan out, it fell into the hands of pumpkin head screen writer Mark Carducci, and then the sCryptt was passed to Pet Cemetery Director Mary Lambert. But following the box off as bomb of Pet Semetery too. Lambert failed to get funding,
[00:28:03] Scott: which I think is fine.
[00:28:04] I, I liked Pet Semetery too.
[00:28:05] Frank: It had, its, it had its place in the, in the horror movie realm, you know, Fancy
[00:28:09] Scott: Browns performance and that was fucking awesome. As
[00:28:11] Frank: a kid, seeing Edward Furlong in that, I was like, That's the kid from Terminator two. That's the kid from you got really excited about shit like that when you were little.
[00:28:18] Yeah.
[00:28:18] Scott: Watching it as an adult. The story kind of dog shit. Yeah. The
[00:28:21] Frank: way I felt about Edward Furlong a pet cemetery too, was the way that I thought about, uh, Christina Ricci when I saw her in Casper. Cause she was Wednesday fucking
[00:28:27] Scott: Adams. Oh, you felt? You can't be two
[00:28:30] Frank: people. It was, it was, I was excited, but I was like, that's so crazy.
[00:28:34] Anyway, uh, when the sCryptt landed on the desk of Joel Silver, which is so random, the executive producers in this were like, Yeah,
[00:28:41] Scott: cuz you were saying two other people were excited. Was it Richard Donner? Richard
[00:28:45] Frank: Donner, and Robert Zemekis. Yeah. Fucking Robert Zyme was on Demon Knight
[00:28:49] Scott: producer. I could see that.
[00:28:50] It's
[00:28:51] Frank: crazy how these guys, That's so, that's one of those Hollywood mind blown things is like the, the projects that people work on to get to where they en, you know?
[00:28:57] Scott: Yeah. And I feel like that goes back to like Twilight's own movie, those people. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I bet that was a Joel Silver. Silver company or whatever.
[00:29:06] So
[00:29:06] Frank: this lands on the desk at Joel Silver. It was intended to be the second, and it tales from the Crypt spinoff series. However, having way more potential than the sCryptts for the other two films, Dead Easy in body count, which were never made two versions of the sCryptt were written to mitigate budget restrictions, one with demons and , One in which the collector was a traveling Bible salesman and his menus were deranged.
[00:29:27] Follow. That would've been fucking badass. Uh, the thought of people and then a house terrorized by yuppies was decided to not play well in 1995. Perfect
[00:29:35] Scott: sense. That makes perfect sense. Which is funny cuz Bordello of Blood is making fun of that kind of like TV church thing. Yes. Oh,
[00:29:44] Frank: definitely. Chris Random.
[00:29:45] Yes. .
[00:29:47] Scott: Oh God. Chris Ran is the best part of that movie. He was bad guy all around a
[00:29:52] Frank: forever bad guy. Was he ever a good.
[00:29:54] Scott: I mean Princess Bride, that is really where he's embedded as the bad guy in my childhood.
[00:29:59] Frank: See, I was back in the day, that original Fright Night on hbo.
[00:30:02] Scott: Yeah, I watched that probably around the same time.
[00:30:04] I didn't
[00:30:04] Frank: even really understand it. That was one of the first movies where I really like saw boobs.
[00:30:07] Scott: Oh yeah. There's one set of boobs in the remake of Fright Night. I think it's the same point. Is it? I think so. Like the seductive scene when he goes into the closet and he's got the girl. Yeah. He's like watching.
[00:30:17] Yeah. Yeah. It's
[00:30:18] Frank: the same. Same thing. That sounds really familiar. I haven't seen the original Fright Night. Fuck
[00:30:22] Scott: yeah. But in the remake, he has that like soundproof
[00:30:24] Frank: room. I've only seen the remake once. It's great. It's on something
[00:30:27] Scott: right now. David Tennon is fucking amazing in it.
[00:30:32] Frank: fuck. I was trying to pull up imdb, um, for when we talk about bordello of Blood, I need some reference here.
[00:30:37] And Bordello is b o r, not . Yeah. Anyway, fucking, it's funny, like the phones get bigger, but the keypad stays the same size. Is that an old man ran a little bit? Yeah. Yeah, sorry. 38. 38 by the. Not single. Sorry. Sorry. Ladies and gents,
[00:30:55] Scott: the references to this in bordello blood with the key, what I was thinking was if there are seven keys and he said that the demons already got all the keys, are we to believe that the key got dumped out cuz it's empty in bordello blood?
[00:31:09] Or was that another key? Were they gonna try to build a a fucking infinity stone universe where all the keys pop up in the movies? So is that what you were
[00:31:18] Frank: talking about? Like you were.
[00:31:20] Scott: Yeah, that was the thing was they're always chasing this Demon Knight because that's the only key they need. That's the last one they need.
[00:31:26] Did they slip up and lose another one, or did they just think that the vampire had the the key the whole time and this is a plot hole? It
[00:31:34] Frank: is. And okay, so for me to do my filler again,
[00:31:37] Scott: not with Demon Knight
[00:31:37] Frank: night though. For me to do my filler, I would have to say that he was just misinformed. There wasn't only one other key
[00:31:43] Scott: floating around.
[00:31:45] Yeah. I guess he's probably been hunkered down for 120 years or something. Yeah. I mean,
[00:31:49] Frank: you think it's safe in a temple beneath a pyramid or some shit or somewhere in London? , but, uh, no. I mean, apparently there were other keys floating around. Right. Hell razor reboot situation. Oh, poor William Sadler then he's, he was on such a
[00:32:02] Scott: crusade and Jada, she's probably still out there.
[00:32:04] Frank: Yeah. She's fighting thinking it's the only one.
[00:32:06] Scott: But the other tales from the Crypt movie that I barely knew existed. I remember seeing that it existed at one point. It's called Ritual and it has Jennifer Gray after the Nose Job. No way. And, uh, Craig Shaffer from, uh, Night Breed. He's the main character in Night Breed you were telling.
[00:32:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just really wait. And Tim Curry's also in it. Hm. It has a similar rating to Bordello blood, which kind of makes me want kinda watch
[00:32:33] Frank: it. Before you told me. I had no idea because it's always been Demon Knight, Bordello Blood.
[00:32:38] Scott: Well, I have the VHS tape of it and uh, at the end of it he says, Of course you have.
[00:32:43] It says Coming next time in Dead Easy was gonna be the next movie. But it, you're
[00:32:47] Frank: saying it was no theaters straight.
[00:32:50] Scott: Ritual was straight to video, which was 2002. So probably Blockbuster, Straight to video time. Yeah. We really skipped those back then.
[00:32:58] Frank: Was it part of the Weinstein group? Did it go to Blockbuster?
[00:33:01] It was Dimension. Mm-hmm. . I feel like that's Weinstein. Yeah. Because yeah. Dimension might part of the Weinstein Company. Yeah. Scream. Who does it fall under that umbrella? So working at Hollywood, I found out Blockbuster had exclusives because of the Weinstein Company. The movies that Hollywood didn't have that were big blockbuster.
[00:33:16] Or because they were part of the Weinstein Company. So as a Hollywood employee, I started to fucking hate Blockbuster. Cuz I was like, well I work here, why can't I get that
[00:33:23] Scott: fucking dude? Why can't I get every Lionsgate
[00:33:25] Frank: movie? ? Well, when I first started the movie that was really frustrating was JC Vd.
[00:33:29] Everybody was talking about that. Oh, good too. Yeah. Guess what? Blockbuster Exclusive. Thanks Weinstein.
[00:33:34] Scott: I do remember that being. Yeah. And that's all that that was was cause I worked at a video store at the time, but I also had memberships at Blockbuster and Hollywood video and would regularly. You had to.
[00:33:44] I didn't find the thing that I was,
[00:33:45] Frank: I didn't know that's what it was until I worked. There was, That's what a Blockbuster exclusive was. It was a Weinstein production. , There you go. In case you didn't know. That makes, that makes perfect sense. No other PSAs at the moment. I'll
[00:33:56] Scott: think of something, but man, the performance from literally everyone in this movie was fucking amazing.
[00:34:01] No, it
[00:34:01] Frank: was great. Um, you
[00:34:02] Scott: fucking hoe down pole dunk will them, They're motherfuckers .
[00:34:06] Frank: Yeah. He's got
[00:34:08] Scott: good energy when that sponge pops out of his mouth
[00:34:10] Frank: and he's just holding it. And it was a real sponge. It was a real
[00:34:13] Scott: sponge. Apparently I read that. He came up with that like he was like, What if I offer her a sponge?
[00:34:17] That's alright. Pops outta my mouth like this. What a man. You should be proud
[00:34:21] Frank: Billy Zane really should. You know, I knocked him for a little bit because I'd see him as a small role, like in some random movie.
[00:34:27] Scott: You knocked your friend Billy Zane. I did for a while. Listen to your friend Billy Zane .
[00:34:33] Frank: Everything will be okay.
[00:34:34] He'll protect me. Hey, how do you like that part of the movie where they're like, He broke the seal .
[00:34:39] Scott: Oh, fucking Thomas Hay. The church is a dick in there. He broke.
[00:34:43] Frank: Seal. Yeah. He's a real ass hat.
[00:34:45] Scott: What do you think was the deal with that lube job and oil change? He was getting upstairs, you know, like what was kinky in the nineties?
[00:34:51] Why was it a whole car battery? That's what you couldn't have accomplished that with maybe a couple nine volts or something. Dude, go hard or go home. My nipples are smoking .
[00:35:00] Frank: He's got like this. Stoner country bumping persona kicking like
[00:35:04] Scott: 110%. Well, he fucking double crosses them. Later on. He
[00:35:08] Frank: throws a hooker out in the fucking line of fire.
[00:35:11] Uh, what was her name? Cordelia. Cordelia. Sorry. These old timey names. They don't stick in my brain like modern names. Yeah. After
[00:35:17] Scott: he punches the sheriff's head off and he's outside
[00:35:19] Frank: knucklehead. Well, and I forgot when Wally went out there and saved her. Yeah. And then he got hit by the green. I forgot about that.
[00:35:26] I was like, Well wait. So does he start transforming into one kind of over like I, cuz I didn't remember exactly what happened to him at the time. Yeah. But he just gets killed because she seduces him and he's like, Oh, I'm finally gonna smash. Oh yeah,
[00:35:37] Scott: that's right. Yeah.
[00:35:38] Frank: And she ends up turning into the Exorcist.
[00:35:41] Scott: That s seduction scene was getting Billy a stand outside. He changes the stone of
[00:35:45] Frank: voice. Oh, he touches her lip without touching her lip, and it shows it the imprint of the finger across the lips. He knew what he was doing. He knew how to flip those switches.
[00:35:53] Scott: He's staring longly from down there. I'm Billy Zza with spot hair on him from nowhere.
[00:35:58] Look at the shimmer on my bald scalp
[00:36:00] Frank: because you are beautiful, because you're stuck in that place. You're
[00:36:03] Scott: really just looking for love. I liked all their se. They're various, uh, , Uncle Willie's seduction. Did you notice Tracy Lane? Was Tracy
[00:36:10] Frank: Lane in there? Yeah, she was one of 'em. Fuck. No I didn't, cuz I saw that, um, somebody was naked in that one.
[00:36:16] Um, when I was looking through the credits, I was like, Oh fuck Christy Bingham. I didn't see her naked though. Like I didn't see her face. There were a
[00:36:22] Scott: lot of girls in that scene. There were, but it was hard to catch Chase Lane cuz she was in the, for like, she comes from off camera, like really close.
[00:36:31] Topless. Mm-hmm. . And then she's in the very back of the group. When he's sitting at the bar Now, show '
[00:36:36] Frank: em them titties. . Now show '
[00:36:39] Scott: em them titties. Uncle Willie, he went out. He was smiling a
[00:36:42] Frank: bit. He was good. He got a drink in a bunch of boobs.
[00:36:45] Scott: The scene where they had to fight, Uncle Willie
[00:36:47] Frank: too, was great. It was in his decapitated animatronic head.
[00:36:51] Looked nothing like him, but I still loved every second of it. It was all bug-eyed and good. It was bug. It looked nothing like the man. Nothing like him. I remember surveillance was negative
[00:37:01] Scott: 10. I remember being freaked out when I was a kid. What would that feel like to stick head's eyeballs onto a fucking pair of antlers?
[00:37:10] Frank: At one point I saw something got killed in the eyeballs was still on the floor, and I thought that was gonna play into something and it didn't.
[00:37:15] Scott: I thought that too. I thought that. Did you see it? Every time I've ever watched this?
[00:37:19] Frank: I saw a scene where somebody's head had gotten like blown up, but the eyeballs were still on the floor.
[00:37:24] And I was like, Oh, well is something still alive? And it was just no further
[00:37:27] Scott: mention. Yeah, I'm just blowing at some eyeballs, which is alright.
[00:37:29] Frank: That's fine. Yeah. You see the ball with the socket and the weird little root. Yeah. Ooh, Terminator too. I mean, Robocop too . When you see the whole spinal with the eyes, that was some weird shit.
[00:37:39] Scott: And I really, really like the line when he meets Uncle Willie. When Uncle Willie says, Oh, God's doing some thinking tonight. Yes. Thinking maybe I should give it back to the Monkeys . And then Breaker says, Maybe it's not too late.
[00:37:54] Frank: No. William Sadler's, one of those guys and I appreciate that they made him look kind of handsome in this, cuz you know, I know you make references to a disturbing behavior where he is just Yeah, the rats. The rats. Rats. Just the grimiest and really, what was that, three years off from this? Uh, yeah. Only they turn him from like a 40 year old nineties.
[00:38:12] Indiana Jones into that in three years in real life. But in this, he's still a handsome adventurer.
[00:38:18] Scott: I like him so much because I think that he makes the sort of choices that I would if I was in his position, like level of the kind of stuff I like. Yeah, no. And I'm sure he's done just fine. I mean, with the mist and then like him being in the movie and him doing the audio performance of it.
[00:38:34] And, uh, I feel like every iteration of the Twilight Zone that they've tried to put out, except for maybe the Jordan Peele one. Mm-hmm. , Which Jordan Peele, you should put William Sadler in one. There you go. I mean, continuity wise, that's how you tie the series together, because he's definitely in the eighties one and the nineties one.
[00:38:49] Frank: Who was he in the eighties? Oh, he was the weird, uh, the house, right? Yeah,
[00:38:53] Scott: yeah, yeah. That is, I'm, That's crazy. You remember that? Yeah. And then he's been in multiple Outer Limits episodes.
[00:38:59] Frank: Oh, See, I'm not too up on my, I I did do a lot
[00:39:02] Scott: about our limits. I did it a lot in the nineties, weirdly enough. I thought it was kind of a cheap twilight zone when it was the original.
[00:39:09] The outer limit. Yeah. It was more for the tales for the dark side. If I wasn't gonna just watch Twilight Sound. Mm-hmm. , he did good. Andy's the Mummy in Bordello blood that he is having dinner with in the beginning of it. He looks
[00:39:19] Frank: like a
[00:39:19] Scott: Halloween mummy. He's pretty much doing the Jen at our Vice
[00:39:26] Frank: Oh, you know, I, I'd mentioned it in an episode a long time ago, but I'd read something online that the Crypt keeper was actually the animatronics from. Yeah. Did you
[00:39:35] Scott: find
[00:39:35] Frank: more about that? I'd never confirmed I didn't have time. I wanted to, but hey, I kind of just wanna believe that fake news, you know, I read it online.
[00:39:42] I would like to believe that that's a real thing. Cause I mean, that's Hollywood reusing some good shit that they didn't have to drop money on again. Hey, just rip the skin off. Throw some dead skin on it. Make it talk fucking, There you go.
[00:39:52] Scott: The Chucky in the new one. I was like, Oh, that doesn't really look like they went back to kind of dull looking.
[00:39:58] But I think it progressively gets more as it goes along. I'm gonna, It looks, it looks like, it looks like something I would really enjoy. Kelly was like, You can count me out on that one.
[00:40:08] Frank: No, man. Here's the thing on Netflix lately, I've been adding and adding and adding, and do you know how much of it I've watched?
[00:40:14] Like maybe one of. You know, I'm adding all this new shit and that new Maryland Monroe
[00:40:19] Scott: thing, that one's harder to get to than I thought it was gonna
[00:40:21] Frank: be. Two hours and 40 something minutes. I think it is almost three hours long. Well, so that's what I had to do with Elvis. Elvis was almost three hours long and so that one afternoon I was like,
[00:40:29] Scott: You know what?
[00:40:29] I'm doing it. But still, you know how absurd that is that we will like be like, Oh, I can't watch that movie cuz it's three hours long and then sit and watch fucking five hours of TV show instead.
[00:40:39] Frank: Like you'll watch five hours of x.
[00:40:42] Scott: Oh, easily. . We took Midnight Club down in two days.
[00:40:47] Frank: See, I don't have that time anymore.
[00:40:49] God dammit. I don't have that time anymore for those big chunks. I maybe have two hours a night, maybe
[00:40:55] Scott: shave off some of that like phone looking time, stuff like that. That's, that's shaved off, man.
[00:41:00] Frank: That's wild. I'm Why? Why do I watch Forged In Fire? Because I can put it on while we're feeding little one and I'm feeding.
[00:41:07] I don't want to watch
[00:41:07] Scott: Forged in fire. Yeah, you're a little more easily, uh, if you're focusing on one thing. You need something less demanding. Yeah. If we're
[00:41:15] Frank: doing dinner and like nighttime stuff, I can't put on a show or movie that I haven't seen. I wanna watch it, you know, with my full attention. I want to give it
[00:41:23] Scott: 100% and just sometimes I like to test things a little bit and I'm like, Can you get my attention?
[00:41:28] Frank: You know what? When you go back and listen to this, how many times do I talk about percentages? I feel like I'm getting on a numbers thing in here.
[00:41:33] Scott: You're very statistical fell. I'm feeling statistical
[00:41:36] Frank: today, that's for sure. Maybe I should go work for a fucking insurance.
[00:41:39] Scott: Oh, I did find out Billy Zane was in the, an episode called well Cooked Hams.
[00:41:44] I
[00:41:44] Frank: think they're eating
[00:41:45] Scott: a person. I think they are too. I think you're right. And there's something with a leg. Yes, which is funny. With the Irene's hand, I recommend the finger food.
[00:41:58] Frank: Uh, Yeah. Demon Knight I think was, I think it was more well done than bordello of blood. Bordello of blood seemed to be kind of batshit crazy all over the place. Let's just get wild with the fucking tales from the Crypt nonsense shit. Demon Knight was like this cool story. Billy Zane did his thing. That was the extra spice, you know what I mean?
[00:42:17] Scott: Oh. It really was just the cherry on top that was glow stick that they used for his blood. Really? They did the same thing for Predator, I believe. No shit. I think it's just the inside of Glow sticks. Yeah. They may have thickened. Put corn starch in it or something like that. No, I'd like to play with some
[00:42:31] Frank: predator.
[00:42:32] See, the
[00:42:32] Scott: demons looked
[00:42:32] Frank: amazing too in this. They did. I liked the way how they had like the eighties, like high
[00:42:36] Scott: pony. I like the weird tail too. Yeah, like it was like almost afin. They
[00:42:41] Frank: were kind of close to those weird, What were they from? Tank girl. The kangaroos. The kangaroos. . But they had more, more of a demon face.
[00:42:48] I tea kangaroo. The iced tea kangaroo. Think
[00:42:51] Scott: when I was a kid, I liked, uh, Thomas Hayden church a lot more in this. Like, I, I thought he was cool.
[00:42:56] Frank: He did great. He did great. What was his name on Wings? Uh, fuck
[00:43:01] Scott: Lloyd. There you go. I watched Wings for part of the pandemic because it was so comforting. It made me feel like I was six years old again.
[00:43:08] You're watching
[00:43:09] Frank: Wings on watching Contagion and Outbreak. First week of Covid, I watched Contagion twice. Outbreak.
[00:43:14] Scott: No lie. No, that's not the way I went. I did read the stand as soon as the pandemic started. Mm. That was like, my thing was I was gonna do that and then the stand miniseries came out, was announced like in the middle of me reading it, , or it may have been announced already, but like it was like they gave it a date while I was reading it and I was like, Oh shit, this is all lining up.
[00:43:35] Frank: You've got Wally's going postal stash. Wally was hiding the mail. Wally was gonna fucking take people out.
[00:43:42] Scott: Why was he hiding the mail? That's the thing that is really weird to me.
[00:43:46] Frank: I feel like he was reading it to find their
[00:43:47] Scott: secrets. You think he was trying to take them out? Or who was gonna take out the post office?
[00:43:51] I think
[00:43:51] Frank: he was maybe gonna go on a, that seemed like a small town.
[00:43:54] Scott: He was definitely gonna kill Ro. For
[00:43:58] Frank: sure. Yeah, he was on the list. Hashtag no lipstick. Roach
[00:44:01] Scott: was a dick though. Yeah, he was a good
[00:44:03] Frank: dick. Roach. Roach was. He was a great dick. Ask a hell
[00:44:07] Scott: on earth, man. Big fucking deal. I got Hemorroids.
[00:44:10] Frank: Cordelia was just, I think she was looking for love in all the wrong places. You are beautiful. Well, and they were pretty conservative with her nudity. It was
[00:44:18] Scott: interesting for Tales from the Crypt movie. Yeah. They kinda saved it for
[00:44:20] Frank: Uncle Willie. They saved it for Uncle Willie scenes. They were like, Here's, he's an opening scene with a Crypt
[00:44:25] Scott: keeper CGI person.
[00:44:27] It was like a child walking up with like the CRI keeper's face walking up. Yeah. They didn't do that again at the end. I think they saw that and when they were like, Let's
[00:44:34] Frank: not do that. Well, and if somehow you forgot it was the nineties movies, once you saw the big fake boobs, you were like nineties movie.
[00:44:39] Yeah. Are all Baywatch. These are the fake boobs of the nineties that everybody thought they. Now they just look
[00:44:45] Scott: ridiculous. Well, even in, uh, Borello of Blood, wasn't she on Baywatch, Erica? Uh,
[00:44:50] Frank: she may have been, but that's who I had to pull. Under Siege. Oh yeah. She was the girl who popped up outta the cake and there was also a movie called Chasers with Tom Beringer.
[00:44:59] I watched that one with Grandpa Man back in the day on TV . That was one of those afternoon movies with The Grams, cuz that was his kind of movie
[00:45:05] Scott: chasers. I weirdly watched a lot of horror movies with my grandpa. He showed me Jaws for the first time and we watched a movie called The Bees, which was terrible.
[00:45:12] It's literally just bees are attacking people. Seventies I. It's the old one. Yeah. Like they like fill a car. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. I've seen that. It's not good. But also it was probably on
[00:45:23] Frank: TV a lot in the early nineties when we were kids. It did freak me out. Yeah. See, no, my grandpa was way more like war action drama.
[00:45:31] My dad was the one I'd watch. Horror
[00:45:33] Scott: movies. This is when he got older. It was westerns I think. But
[00:45:35] Frank: you know, I can probably like give my dad credit for the whole predator thing cuz I can't say how many times we'd watch that on HBO at
[00:45:41] Scott: night. Do you think that uh, Irene possibly even. The deputy, I mean the deputy, we didn't see him try to get seduced by Billy Zane.
[00:45:50] Mm-hmm. . But Irene told him to fuck off strong will, and granted she sacrificed herself for everyone she did. Guardian angel, was she possibly a high candidate then? Could she have been the next Demonn night? Uh,
[00:46:04] Frank: she wouldn't have passed the physical. Maybe she'd aged out, you know, the military won't take you after a certain age.
[00:46:09] Scott: Yeah. And I guess Frank, neither Frank was in the
[00:46:11] Frank: military. Yeah. And he was young in the late teens. So, And then definitely Jada, you know, fresh outta jail. She's tough. It wasn't her fault she was innocent. Falsely in prison. Yeah. Don't
[00:46:21] Scott: think Cameron Di is as scary as I think Cameron Diaz.
[00:46:24] Frank: I mean, it would've been cool.
[00:46:26] I mean, she wouldn't have pulled it off like Jada did. That was not for her. That would've been them trying to make her happen then. Yeah. You know what I mean? The
[00:46:32] Scott: rise of Jay, it would've felt a little bit less. Like when she becomes Demon Knight, they sent a black collector after
[00:46:41] Frank: that was a little heavy handed, like, Okay, so why does the new collector have to be a black guy who looks like he's from like, I don't know.
[00:46:48] Sixties
[00:46:48] Scott: Harlem. I mean, I'm a white guy, but I thought nothing of it when I saw it when I was a kid. No,
[00:46:53] Frank: same here. That wasn't even, But then, just now I was like, Oh, well, did they, Did
[00:46:56] Scott: he have to be black? She was, I was like, Did they send a black collector? Because it was a little much
[00:47:02] Frank: like, if anything like.
[00:47:04] Looked cool
[00:47:05] Scott: though because he was
[00:47:05] Frank: legit cowboy. What would've been even cr like Billy Zza and drag, they all dress like
[00:47:10] Scott: cowboys, ,
[00:47:13] Frank: there's that too. Um, and I mean he was, the stolen car that he was in was a trans Am like Bert Reynolds had and smoking
[00:47:19] Scott: in the Bandit by far. When Danny goes Demon. Up in the attic.
[00:47:23] Climactic moment for Breaker. Uh,
[00:47:25] Frank: whenever kids go demon,
[00:47:26] Scott: his head got so big and and weird. Yeah. And it was so like the
[00:47:30] Frank: thing, it's always the kids you gotta look out for cuz you're like, oh, you know, And it's a good thing they checked him earlier in the movie cuz I thought the same thing decoy.
[00:47:37] Scott: But this sCryptt for this was really good.
[00:47:39] Way better than any tales from the crypto episode ever had. I think any of those directors could have done a really good job making this not a tales from the Crypt movie. But I'm really glad that it went down this. And it was a great nineties horror. Yeah, it was right there at that time. The music, the clothes.
[00:47:55] Yeah. In a church and all the like biblical backstory to
[00:47:59] Frank: it. And I almost had a, Oh God, how could I forget? Uh, Tarantino. Clooney vampires. Why am I not getting this? Oh, from Dust Dawn. Dusk till Dawn. Remember how the bar
[00:48:13] Scott: was an old mission? Yeah. I would say that that scene and from Dusk Till Dawn is the same kind of feeling as that's night,
[00:48:19] Frank: that's exact setting.
[00:48:20] That hotel is like the same place where the bar slash mission was from Dusk Till Dawn. I can't believe. I couldn't remember Dusk Till Dawn. Holy shit. going to movie hell for that one. Fuck me.
[00:48:30] Scott: I couldn't put it together because I was like, Oh, right. Quentin Tarantino. In the movie. Cause I was like, that's a Robert Rodriguez movie.
[00:48:36] So I wasn't, Yeah. But Totino was actually in the movie looking through the list in my
[00:48:39] Frank: mind. Creepy fucking pedophile brother. Yeah.
[00:48:43] Scott: Yeah. He's so creepy in that too. I bet he is really creepy in real life. Yeah. I'm surprised he
[00:48:48] Frank: hasn't been me.
[00:48:49] Scott: Tood me too.
[00:48:55] Oh man. Edward uh, Guffman of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote that this film was dull and slow paced. If I were 12, I might've loved it inaccurate, and I did. I fucking loved it. Uh, yeah, I was 10 years old when this movie came out, but
[00:49:12] Frank: still I enjoyed it. Now that's the thing, it's got that nineties thing where it's like actually pretty bouncy, you know?
[00:49:18] Yeah. And it's not
[00:49:18] Scott: flat. Chris Egen from, uh, Bloody Disgusting in a retrospective. He said that this is one of the most underrated horror films in the nineties, and that's good. That cast is solid. I fully
[00:49:28] Frank: agree. You recognize some face. You know, you had some up and comers. Jada was an up and comer.
[00:49:33] Scott: But yeah, we give Academy awards to people for things that are just like, you know how seriously you took this performance?
[00:49:39] Yes. Sad. I think Billy Zane. Billy
[00:49:41] Frank: Zane was already established. Sadler was just that guy who you were looking for. For that extra bang. wasn't Dick Miller. Dick Miller is great. Dick Miller, Was he in fucking gremlin's too?
[00:49:54] Scott: I believe he was. He was the postal guy, right? I think
[00:49:56] Frank: he was like the uncle or the dad or the fucking neighbor or whatever.
[00:49:59] Yeah. Yeah. Good old Dick Miller. Well, and Irene really did good. She did good with the, uh, once she was, uh, you know, lost the appendage. This is me flipping you
[00:50:07] Scott: off. sticks are stump
[00:50:09] Frank: out. Well, when she's sitting there like going into shock, I mean, I'm not saying it's the best shock face I've ever seen, but she really held it through that whole.
[00:50:16] Because they're having a conversation behind her where she's in the front and she's doing the Robocop Murphy.
[00:50:23] Scott: I really think the only bad acting performance in this whole movie is the girl on the phone at the very beginning of it, talking about how she killed her husband before we start the movie. The movie that The Crypt, the movie
[00:50:34] Frank: directing.
[00:50:34] Oh, in the movie? Yeah. Oh yeah. That was awful. Well, she's carrying those
[00:50:37] Scott: nineties fake boobs around me. Yeah, it's a red Shoe Diaries moment happening right there. Yeah,
[00:50:41] Frank: man. She came straight off of real. , you know, she was at the episode about bondage or something. Um, next time Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
[00:50:49] Scott: This time you're gonna be the two timer.
[00:50:51] Frank: I'm gonna be the two time I'm gonna watch it again because I put it on as a feel good.
[00:50:55] Scott: It's a horror movie. It's been a couple years since I've seen it, but as I watched
[00:50:58] Frank: it, I almost felt like I should take notes to talk about it. And the fact that you're like, Let's do it. Really wished I would've taken the notes.
[00:51:04] So many good one-liners. Oh my God. I was telling Scott, I used some of the quotes from this movie in my day to day. Today and did not realize I'd pulled them from Buffy the Vampire Slay. Yeah, I
[00:51:16] Scott: feel like this is gonna be a really fun one to talk about. I haven't seen it in a while. Love Christie Swanson.
[00:51:20] David Arquette, Luke Perry, David Arquette has some good
[00:51:23] Frank: ones. And I'm gonna tell you, spoiler alert, there's a cameo by Ben Afleck in this movie. I did not remember that.
[00:51:29] Scott: I've seen this movie a lot, but I don't think we've ever talked about it. Donald Sutherland.
[00:51:34] Frank: Looks young compared to his current state, which makes sense.
[00:51:37] We're older now. That movie is
[00:51:39] Scott: 30 years old now. But yeah, for once I have the, the movie after that pick. So until next time, via Con Diablos .
[00:51:48] Frank: Thanks everyone for joining us. For the last video Store Clerk's podcast, be sure to leave a rating and subscribe. You can find us on Twitter @LastClerks Instagram at @thelastvideostoreclerks, and you can find Scott at dispatchesfromthepit.com.
