In this episode, I am in conversation with Earl Talbot, who is a coach and mindset code breaker. We dive deep into what it means to "get out of your own way" and how we often sabotage our own progress and success.

Earl shares valuable insights from his work in neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and personal development on how to identify and overcome the mental blocks, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs that hold us back. He also emphasizes the importance of alignment between thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and identity for achieving desired outcomes.

Key Learnings:

- Getting in our own way stems from misalignment between our values, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors which creates inner conflict and incongruence (2:00)

- Judgment and comparing ourselves to others' standards is a major obstacle to progress (16:00)

- Fear of failure or success can prevent us from taking risks and embracing new challenges (31:00)  

- Disconnection from our bodies, intuition, and sense of purpose contributes to getting stuck (46:00)

- Identifying the emotions we want to feel and the stories/beliefs holding us back can open the door to positive change (51:00)

Show Notes:

0:00 - Introduction to the topic of getting out of your own way

2:00 - Earl's definition of getting in your own way as misalignment  

7:00 - Exploring the origins of our mental encoding and belief systems

16:00 - Common ways people get in their own way: judgment, fear of failure

26:00 - The importance of an identity shift for entrepreneurs 

31:00 - Overcoming the fear of success

36:00 - Living on purpose and getting rewarded for meaningful work

41:00 - Taking a holistic approach: mind, body, spirit

46:00 - Causes of disconnection and how to reconnect

51:00 - Practical exercise: Current state, desired state, and outcome

You can contact Earl at Creative Muscle

You can contact Sal here

Getting in our own way is when we are misaligned.

2

So this is when maybe our values aren't

aligned with our vision, our behaviors

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aren't aligned with our beliefs, our

emotions aren't aligned with our thoughts.

4

Sal Jefferies: You know, we do live

in a culture which is pervasive,

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that kind of shapes us and that,

and we live in a culture of fixing.

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Earl Talbot: And what story are you

telling yourself that is in the way of how

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you feel today to how you want to feel?

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Sal Jefferies: Hello and welcome.

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Do you ever want to get

out of your own way?

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I know I do.

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Well, today I'm joined by my guest, Earl

Tolbert, who is a fascinating individual.

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He is a mindset code expert.

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Sounds cool.

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And we are going to unpack that

because I want to know more about that.

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But we're going to talk about this

whole, let's get out of our own way.

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I think I know what it means.

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I wonder if you know what it means,

but we're going to go into that.

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So, Earl, welcome to the podcast.

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How are you doing today?

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Earl Talbot: Hi Sal,

thanks for inviting me.

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I'm doing really well and excited to

talk to you about some of the things

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that we do in the world of personal

development and transformation.

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So yeah, absolutely delighted to be here.

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Sal Jefferies: Fantastic.

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It's really good to have you.

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So we're talking about getting out of

our own way and you and I have spoken

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about this, uh, this kind of colloquial

term that's been around for a while.

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A lot of us kind of know what it is,

but as you and I are actually language

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specialists or we're linguistic

specialists, perhaps is a better term.

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What do you mean by getting

out of your own way?

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Yeah,

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Earl Talbot: Yeah.

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So the, the key thing is, this is,

there's, there's two elements of it.

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And we talk about getting

out of your own way.

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The first thing people need to

recognize is how they get in

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their own way in the first place.

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. So, so there's a structure to how we get

in our own way, and then what are the

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things that we need to remove so we can

get what it is that we want in our lives.

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So getting in our own way

is when we are misaligned.

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So this is when maybe our values aren't

aligned with our vision, our behaviors

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aren't, aligned with our beliefs, our

emotions aren't aligned with our thoughts.

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These are all things that

create incongruence in us.

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and that conflict, conflict means that

we then start to get in our own way.

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We start to act in ways that we wouldn't

expect or we start to think in ways

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or even our internal negative dialogue

can have an impact in terms of how we

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show up for interviews, asking a boss

for a raise or whatever it might be.

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Sal Jefferies: really nice,

really nice description.

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Um, for me, I've got in my own way

many a time, my description of that is.

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Often the idea of something like I

should be this or should be that has

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got in the way of a more authentic

approach or more courageous approach.

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So there's been this, um, approach that

has been, as you say, perhaps a bit

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disingenuous or a little bit misaligned.

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And then we end up There's a,

there's an efforting in it.

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It feels to me.

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So, and getting in our own way is of

course, well, to use the parody of that

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is we're blocking ourselves somehow.

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We're basically stumbling over

ourselves, which is an, uh,

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an unhelpful way to, to go.

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Now, I also want to go straight

into Mindset Code Breaker.

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Now, I'm a mindset coach,

human performance coach.

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I've worked with psychology a lot.

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Um, you do some different things

and let's, let's, let's go.

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What is that?

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Tell me more about the mindset

and particularly the code

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breaker piece of it, please.

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Earl Talbot: Yeah, so, so first

of all, I'll describe mindset.

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So one of the, one of the misconceptions

I have with lots of different people

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when I have this discussion is they

think the mindset is the brain.

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And the brain is an organ of the mind.

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It's one part of the mind.

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So our mind is really our neurology.

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So that's your intuition.

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That's your heart.

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That's your brain.

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Um, that can be your emotions

and they're all regulated within

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our body, generally speaking.

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There's a, there's another aspect

to that, which you could say is

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spiritual, but we can, we can talk

about that a little bit later.

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But the main thing is in terms of

the mindset, it's those different

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functions of the body becoming aligned.

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And so the code or the code breaking

is looking at how we've been encoded.

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And this happens as a process of

socialization, um, from when we

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started school, having parents,

our siblings, um, our professional

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life, all of this impacts on us.

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So when you talk about, um, getting

in, getting in or out of the way

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of yourself, when we think we

should be doing something, usually

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that isn't an original thought.

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That isn't the thought

that I actually own.

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And I want to do it because if I

want to do it, I want to do it.

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I don't think I should do it.

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that's usually come from somewhere else.

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So that's encoding.

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When we are being encoded, that's where

it can be positive, it can be negative.

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So my thing is figuring out what the code

is, helping my clients understand what the

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code is, so they're empowered to change

it and rewrite it should they want to.

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Sal Jefferies: Really nice, really nice.

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Um, in my work, um, similar

to yours, but different.

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I did a lot of study in human

development from zero upwards.

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And the fascinating thing

about our brains, And I love

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that you've called that out.

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You know, the brain and the

mind are different phenomena.

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One is a physical entity of the physiology

of our body, a physical structure.

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One is the essence of it, the output

of it, whatever it is, but we know

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the mind and brain are connected, but

no one's got an absolute certainty,

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but they are separate phenomena.

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Now, curiously, we are in,

uh, our brains have waves.

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So there's all these different waves.

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We have beta, Beta is like how we're

conversing now, we're conscious.

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Below that is alpha, then

there's theta and delta.

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And when we're very young, we're

actually in an absorptive state.

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Our baby brains, literally like a big

sponge, just sucking up the world.

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And to, we'll go in a quick neurology, um,

explanation, but from zero to seven, this

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changes from those deep states of delta,

then to theta, up to alpha, around about

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between five and seven, approximately.

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What's important, I love

what you said there.

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As we get coded at a young age and we

don't even know, like it's, we're like

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these beautiful human sponges that

absorb and model parents and model

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people, but the code sticks, like

the neurology, the pathways stick.

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And I've worked with a lot of people

who've got these things that have

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come from the past, you know, the

problem today is built on the past.

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Now, with that in mind, how are you

working with people who've got a problem

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today, perhaps you can give me an example,

that might have its origin in the past?

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Earl Talbot: Yeah.

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So, um, Actually, I just want to

speak to something that you said

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there, and I really love the example

of explaining the zero up and

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going through the different states.

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So the mind is the system.

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The brain, as I said, the brain

is a component of the system.

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So is the heart.

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And so our heart, our gut, our

brain all have the neurology

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cells that are in the brain.

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So it, it, there's different quantities

that are in the heart as in the gut.

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So When we talk about actually

intuition or heartfelt leadership or

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things, those things are really valid.

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And even when you look at those states,

delta, theta, uh, uh, uh, alpha,

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those are all still within the system.

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We, it's not like we lose those.

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They're all in the system.

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And then the question really

becomes is where is that useful

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and helpful and practical.

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and effective.

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And where is that ineffective?

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Where is that impractical,

impractical and not useful or helpful?

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And that's part of the code breaking.

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And we generally can't see it for

ourselves, but the way that we've

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been trained, and I'm using the Royal

Re including me and you, is that

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we've got the tools and techniques

to help people to understand that

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and also change and transform that.

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So coming back to your question,

generally I'm working with And I love

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working with solo openers because I

believe they are the change agents

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that are going to change the world.

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And when I talk about solo

openers, they're not necessarily,

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it's not about being self

employed or working in a company.

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It's about you living on purpose and

crafting the life that you want that

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has positive impact on the planet.

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That's what I see solo openers doing.

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That's different from self

employed, that's different from

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freelance, and that's different

from being a corporate citizen.

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It's not about your,

um, uh, employee status.

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It's about how you show

up in any of those things.

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And that's what I talk

about living on purpose.

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And usually there is something

that's going on where that person

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isn't able to get the results that

they want or think they should have.

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And part of that is if we look at

all the stories right now in terms of

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entrepreneurship, it's This is what I did.

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This is what you should

do to be successful.

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And for me, learning NLP, Neuro

Linguistic Programming, and

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Modeling Excellence, what I start

to recognize is there isn't one way.

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So whether it's Alex Omonzi, whether

it's Simon Sinek, whether it's Stephen

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Bartlett, it doesn't matter who you

want to talk about, they've all got

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different components on how they've

achieved the success that they want.

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But everyone is saying, well,

this is how you need to do it.

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And the key thing that I help my

people, my clients with, and people

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on my program is help them figure

out the way that works for them.

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So moving from less hustle to more

flow, and that flow comes from

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the alignment and the congruence.

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Does that make

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Sal Jefferies: Yeah, that's lovely.

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I want to speak straight

to that point of hustle.

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You know, we're in a hustle culture now.

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I think of good old Gary V.

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I like Gary V.

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It's a funny guy.

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Uh, he's kind of well known,

but yeah, it's hustle culture.

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And there's nothing quote unquote

right or wrong about these

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things that we're speaking about.

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There's probably an appropriateness.

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And you'd already named that a little,

a short while ago, because if hustle

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culture isn't for you, If you have a high

bias or stress response, particularly

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on the anxiety spectrum, hustle culture

is just going to ramp you up and amp

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you up if you don't have the capability.

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So hustle culture is really

good for people who are

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neurologically in a fight response.

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So just to caveat that, we're not talking

about aggression or fighting, we're

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talking about going towards the problem,

uh, doers, people who like the challenge.

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So if you're biased that way, for

various reasons, Hustle culture

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probably will rock for you.

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Hustle culture for a lot of people

is always actually always on culture.

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I hear it misnamed and I'm, I've

got some clients who are close to

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burnout or been close to burnout.

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And they've gone from the quote, hustle

culture to the always on, I can't switch

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off culture, which leads me into thinking

what's driving that, you know, what,

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what's in that person's neurology, what's

in their backstory that makes them strive.

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What are you striving for is the

question I just laid out at their door,

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because something like that is getting

in their way, and that's their problem

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too, you know, they're not getting

success because it's the hamster wheel.

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And they're not getting peace of

mind because they're driven by

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an unconscious bias of some kind.

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Now, how do you go and figure out

these unconscious patterns for people?

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How do you perhaps take us through for

someone who hasn't been here who's going,

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Hmm, yeah, that kind of sounds like me.

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Um, how does that work?

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How does it actually work in your domain?

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Earl Talbot: Yeah, um, and actually

just to speak about the, the hustle

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culture, the really interesting thing

is if you are in the fight mode,

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as you mentioned, which isn't about

aggression and you're in the hustle

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culture for you, that's flow, right?

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That, that's, that's the

thing, that's their flow.

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So actually you take them out of that

environment and they're going to struggle.

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So it's, it's really interesting that when

we start to frame words, how that language

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starts to impact how we see the world.

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So come, coming again to the

essence of your question.

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One of the things is I, all I

need to do is be deeply curious.

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So it's, it's not about

I need to figure it out.

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It's about helping them figure it out.

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And me just kind of just asking

questions and going deeper.

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But what I'm looking for is the structure.

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I'm looking for the deep structure

of what is it that is happening

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within you that is creating this

reality that isn't giving you the

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positive feedback loop that you want.

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And so as a simple way, you talked

about somebody who is on this always on.

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And then your question would be

what you're striving for, right?

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Now, what you're striving for.

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Gets them to think about what

it is that they're going after.

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My question would be, what gap

are you trying to fill inside you?

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Because they're, now that makes

them internally reference.

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Because the striving will keep striving

if it's, you know, I want a silver medal,

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I want a gold medal, you know, I've got

a Ferrari, I want a Bentley, whatever

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it is, the striving will always change.

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But the gap that you're trying to fill

inside you, that gets them to really

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get to the heart of the problem.

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And once we start to find the gap, then

we can find where the gap is, what's

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around the gap, what's creating the

gap, and we build out from that way.

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And it's not to say that we

should try to change the gap.

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It's not about trying to fix people.

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It's about helping them to

understand themselves to get

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the best out of themselves.

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Sal Jefferies: Beautiful.

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Yeah, that's beautiful.

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And just to kind of carry on from

that point, Um, You know, we do live

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in a culture which is pervasive,

that, kind of shapes us and that,

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and we live in a culture of fixing.

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You know, when I grew up as a kid, if

you had a problem, you went to see the

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doctor, which generally was a person in

a white coat in this doctor's place, and

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you trusted them and they did the job.

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Now, doctors are brilliant at certain

things, but the mindset of, I've

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got to go fix stuff and have someone

else fix me, can be problematic,

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particularly in the personal domain.

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Because in the more ancient cultures,

I'm sort of trained in the yoga arts

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and, and I've read a lot of Zen stuff,

in those arts, the question goes within,

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you know, there's no idea that anything

outside of us can solve us, there's

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Japanese martial arts as well, it's

all within, you have everything, but

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you need to go have a look inwards, and

we're an outward looking species, right?

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Well, our eyes look outwards, we, we

look out to the world, and we often don't

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look in, and it's, And I love what you

said about looking at the gap and just

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being with that as opposed to, right,

you have a problem, you need X solution.

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You have a gap, let's,

let's be with the gap.

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Let's be with that space.

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That's fascinating.

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Um, When doesn't this work?

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Now, when have you got someone and

they're like, Oh, this isn't working.

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When are these bump

points coming up for you?

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These, these things where you're

working with someone who perhaps

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is resistant to that, or it hasn't,

what can you say more about that?

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Earl Talbot: Yeah, it's,

well, here's the thing, right?

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Cause that's an interesting frame because

working is kind of a bit like fixing.

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When, when, when does

it or doesn't it work?

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And it always works in my opinion,

but always working doesn't necessarily

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mean you always get the result

that you want or the client wants.

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So one of the things I talk about

is I work with people that want

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to be better, not get better.

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So I don't, you know,

I'm, I'm not a therapist.

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I'm not a trained therapist.

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I'm not a clinical therapist, even

though because of the way that I work

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and the way my clients work with me,

there is a lot of therapeutic, um, things

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that happen for therapeutic results

because they like, Oh, all of a sudden

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they understand themselves better.

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So there's less judgment and judgment.

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Actually, I want us, I would

just want to make this statement.

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And this is a really important statement.

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Judgment is probably one of the biggest

things that gets in the way of ourselves.

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And usually when we are judging ourselves,

it's not through the lens of ourself.

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It's through the lens of how others

have seen us or society sees us or,

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you know, our status through society.

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You know, I haven't got enough

money or, you know, I'm a, I'm a bad

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this or I'm a bad that, and that's

through judgment and comparison.

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So those, those, those are actually

two of the big things that really

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get in, in the way of ourselves.

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But, um, What it, where it doesn't

really work is if somebody is in

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a heightened state of trauma or

something is going on for them.

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So there's really a massive amount

of what we call neuromuscular

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lock, where there is high states of

tension, anxiety and everything else.

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I can, I can get people into a state

where they're more coachable, but they

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really need to be in a coachable state.

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So, you know, I'm not a firefighter.

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You know, I'm, I'm not also a long

term type of coach, generally speaking.

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Usually I work with people within a few

sessions to get results that they want.

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I do have some long term clients because

they just see a real value in investing

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in me for long term, but usually I'll

try to work with clients in a short

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space of time and then they have the

resources to carry on for themselves.

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Sal Jefferies: Yeah.

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Thank you.

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It's such an important point.

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And, and there's a lot of trauma in the

world and sometimes we don't even know and

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can name the trauma, uh, uh, has happened

in our past, normally in our early, early

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years, and then it can create a pattern.

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And that's perhaps when, if that

comes up, someone, uh, me too, I'm

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a trained psychotherapist, but I

don't explicitly do therapy anymore.

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I've blended my model of

work into a mindset and human

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performance coaching approach.

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So I would say, Hey, look,

this has come up for you.

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This is more trauma esque.

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Um, I've seen great results with EMDR.

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His, his, his three people you

can go see, because actually

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that's the right thing to do.

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Either way, what I find interesting is

either way, it's in the system, right?

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It's in the system where you've

either got stroma or a block,

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you're getting in your own way.

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Whether you want to see it or not, it's

there and it's affecting your life or

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stopping you from perhaps getting the

things you want or being the way you want.

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So by avoiding it doesn't make it go

away, it's just you don't look at it.

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So I think it takes a bit of courage,

this work, or probably a lot of courage.

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some humility.

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And I think those two qualities

in my experience go a long

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way into helping people shift.

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And I use the word shift because

I think shift is a more elegant

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phrase to transition from.

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If you're in a stuck

position, you want to change.

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We're not necessarily you need to

change, but something needs to shift.

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And that could be perspective.

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It could be your pattern, uh, it

could be your environment, but

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if you get the shift, then that

can be a really helpful thing.

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Oh, have you got an example of

when something's gone really well?

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So I've gone into the dark side

first, okay, into the light.

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Have you got an example of when

something's gone really well, where

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someone's come to you with this, you know,

I'm kind of getting in my own way, and

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you've done a piece of work with them.

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Have you got an example

you could share with us?

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Earl Talbot: Yeah, I've got many examples,

but actually I just want to speak to the

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dark side as you called it first as well.

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I think the main thing that I

look at is my clients need to

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be able to take responsibility.

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So if you're not able to take

responsibility, if you are,

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I'm going to put some sessions

with you Elle, come and fix me.

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You are not the client for me.

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So that's definitely where it doesn't

work because empowerment and that

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transformation is an inside out job and

the way that I work with empowerment

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is Well for transformation is I need

to give you or help you find the

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resources So you can make that change and

that's where the transformation works.

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So It's not Earl doing it to you that

is transformational, it's that you

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are empowered, you understand yourself

and to make that shift, as you say,

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and that shift is back to alignment.

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So the, the, I presuppose, and this

is really important in terms of how I

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work with my clients, I presuppose that

you are wholesome in yourself and you

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have all the resources you need, which

this is one of the principles of NLP.

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Even with the trauma, even with

the gap, even with whatever's going

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on with you, you're still here

and you're still able to function.

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So how do we just bring

that into alignment?

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And the gap may serve

a really useful thing.

370

So again, it's not my

job to judge the gap.

371

It's my job to help you to understand it

and bring that back into the alignment.

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So I just really want to speak to that.

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Um, so Literally five minutes before I

jumped on, on, on this podcast, I got

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a voice note from somebody who's on

my program and she's going through a

375

process, but her life, she's, she's been

on week three of the program and her

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life is literally transformed already.

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And one of the reasons is that we use

this filter or this frame, which is 10X.

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So what is a 10X version of yourself?

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and she is showing up in her life as 10X.

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It's changed.

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This, this is a program that is helping

breath workers to become solopreneurs

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because it's a very different skill set

to be a practitioner, whether that's

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a coach, a yoga teacher, whatever

it is, to being your own business.

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And that's primarily what

the program is about.

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But one of the things that I've noticed

as entrepreneurs and solopreneurs.

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The ones who are successful

and are sustainable in their

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success are the ones who live a

10X vision of their life, right?

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Which is scary, it's exciting, but they

dream big, they bet big on themselves.

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And what's happening for her is she's

seeing that she is changing as a person.

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And that's changing her relationship

with her mom, her, her children, her

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new relationship, and even her clients.

392

The feedback she's getting from her

clients, and as far as she's seen it,

393

she isn't doing anything different

with her clients, but she's different.

394

She's evolving and, and that's

really, you know, she's saying the

395

feedback from my clients, she said,

I think I'm, I'm paraphrasing, but

396

it's, it's, it's through the charts.

397

It's off the charts and, and so.

398

Once we step into that place of being

that thing, being that person, then,

399

you know, it's game over, you know,

400

the sky's the limit.

401

Sal Jefferies: magical!

402

I've got my my neurology in my,

I've got a lot of very strong

403

neurological neurological feedback.

404

My whole skin's going

Really I love that story.

405

Um, it makes me think of Joe Dispenza.

406

Um, don't you know Joe Dispenza.

407

The uh, quantum physics guy.

408

Uh, big voice in the field

of personal development.

409

Um, yeah really like his work.

410

I remember him describing

the the difference between

411

thinking, doing and being.

412

So thinking is very cognitive

and very much abstract.

413

Feeling, of course, is emotive

and of the body, you know,

414

those emotions and how you feel.

415

But being, that essence

is such a beautiful thing.

416

And what you said there about your client

being different, not doing different,

417

being different, because I don't know

about you, Earl, I know before when

418

I've not done the work, like this kind

of work, I've tried hard, like really,

419

really hard to succeed or to change and,

and the efforting and the doing hasn't

420

made a blind bit of difference, which

is like, damn it, it's so annoying.

421

And I'm going to share a story.

422

Um, one of my many careers, I was a

photographer and I remember one season

423

I'd done a bunch of work and I was

doing both commercial and I was doing

424

contemporary wedding photography.

425

And I've got to this point where

I was at a certain ceiling with my

426

rates and the people who were coming

on board was, you know, quite sort

427

of, you know, how much is that?

428

How much is this?

429

I was like, look, I'm an artist.

430

I'm not a job influencer, I'm an

artist, I create amazing images.

431

So I remember I doubled my prices and

um, and it was like a crazy thing to

432

do but I was like, look, you just,

I'm with the wrong, um, positioning.

433

And I sat there and I was

like, have I, have I literally

434

just torpedoed my business?

435

And then ironically the next

year I had the same amount of

436

bookings for double the rate.

437

Now this was based on people who

wanted to pay for the artistic

438

element, who wanted to work with

me as an artist and as a creator as

439

opposed to a jobber and a deliverer.

440

And everything changed because I was just

like, I'm going to come at this as an

441

artist, not as a jobbing photographer.

442

Now, not every industry can

double your rates and it's not,

443

maybe not appropriate as well.

444

But the point here is that if you

go into the state of being, and

445

I remember that then for me, it's

like, I'm going to be an artist now.

446

I'm going to let go of

this idea of photography.

447

Jobbing Photographer.

448

I'm going to be an artist and

really create some beautiful work.

449

And it shifted and, and I found that

fascinating and I hope that story

450

resonates with some people who might be

hearing what we're saying here about I'm

451

doing a lot to get out of my own way.

452

But if you be different.

453

Earl Talbot: Well, I've, I've, I've

Yeah, Sal, and I love that story,

454

and it speaks to exactly what we're

speaking to, because what you did

455

there was an identity level change.

456

Right, so you were doing photography,

you were taking pictures, so there's

457

a, there's a great model that's created

by Robert Diltz in NLP and it's called

458

the, some people call it the Logical

Levels Neurological Map or whatever it

459

is, but definitely, you know, if you, if

people haven't seen it, go and, go and

460

look at it, it's something that I use.

461

So you've got your environment, this

is at the wedding, your behaviour is,

462

you're with the camera, you're snapping,

you're taking pictures, doing videos,

463

you've got the skills and capabilities,

you've been trained to do that.

464

Then you've got your beliefs and values.

465

It's important and you believe that

you're good at the work that you do.

466

But the way that I work with people

and the way that I see the biggest

467

transformations and especially

for solopreneurs, entrepreneurs,

468

founders that want to be really

successful in the business, you have

469

to make an identity level shift.

470

So you went from doing photography

to being an artist and that's

471

what people were buying into.

472

They weren't buying into

you doing photography.

473

They were buying into Sal, the

artist, and your artistry at

474

that point was photography.

475

But knowing what I know from you already

Sal, is you've taken your artistry from

476

photography to performance coaching.

477

And, you know, the various different

elements that are helping and

478

supporting you to become, you

know, the best version of yourself.

479

So again, there is another,

um, identity shift level.

480

And on that note, that's probably

the biggest thing that I do in my

481

work is work with people who are

practitioners, don't see themselves as

482

the entrepreneur or see themselves as

483

successful and go to the next level.

484

Sal Jefferies: Oh, that's

really interesting.

485

So, when we talk about getting in

your own way, or getting out of

486

your own way, what are some of the

more explicit examples of that?

487

So we've been kind of talking around

this, there are a lot of really

488

good stuff on identity and how

we're, the whole construction of it.

489

But, how do some of these

play out in common parlance?

490

Like, what do people say?

491

I've got X problem, or

I have this experience.

492

What are the ones you're

seeing that we can name?

493

Earl Talbot: Yeah.

494

So part of the exploration is

figuring out what they actually mean

495

by, um, I'm having this problem.

496

And usually what people present

as a problem, isn't a problem.

497

So somebody might say, um, this is

a classic example is I'm not good at

498

selling myself is in, in the world of solo

I'm not good at my selling myself, but

499

actually what they're actually saying is.

500

I don't think I'm any good at selling.

501

And usually that's because there is

a perception around what selling is.

502

They may have had an experience

of a negative salesperson.

503

And so therefore they say, I

don't want to do or be that.

504

So I'm not good at selling.

505

They totally ignored all of the

positive experiences they've had

506

of selling because guess what?

507

That's what it's normally

like to be selling.

508

So, you know, unless it's a really

great one that stands out, people will

509

err on the side of, um, yeah, I'm not

good at selling because I don't want

510

to be identified as a salesperson.

511

So that, that's a typical one.

512

The other one is also people thinking.

513

and this, this problem will present

itself in different ways, but

514

people thinking about what's the

worst that could happen, right?

515

So they're kind of like, oh,

the worst can happen is this.

516

So what they are effectively saying is

they're fatal, afraid of failure because

517

they're just thinking about failing.

518

Whereas when you look at most

entrepreneurs, they think about

519

what's the worst gonna happen?

520

But they're focused on what's

the best that can happen.

521

And they bring that into

balance and alignment.

522

So they are precautionary about

some of the trappings, but actually

523

they're focusing on what's the best

that can happen, and every time they

524

think what the best is can happen,

and they exceed that, then there's a

525

new best, and there's a new best, and

there's a new best that can happen.

526

But that takes practice in

training yourself to think

527

like that and be like that.

528

So, those are two of the main things

that really present themselves.

529

Sal Jefferies: Yeah, thank you.

530

Really interesting.

531

Um, I like to, I sometimes

use a principle of semiotics.

532

This is actually a form of, um, science

where, um, scientists look at meaning

533

and symbols and feeling or affect

it's called in technical language.

534

And so when someone says to me,

like, you know, I'm, I'm, uh,

535

Oh, I don't want to sell myself.

536

It's icky.

537

It's like, I kind of

get what you're saying.

538

But what you're saying is not

what we need to do here because

539

you're not for sale, right?

540

You know, no one is for sale.

541

Your services might be for sale.

542

Your expertise, your artistry is for sale.

543

You are not for sale is one

thing I often come across with

544

this and I've been here myself.

545

So I didn't know this question

and pathway quite well.

546

I find really interesting to go into

the meaning because if we go well, but

547

what does that mean the semantics of it?

548

The meaning because if I mean

it's icky and I don't like it or

549

someone else is like, oh, I'll

be so visible I can't handle it.

550

I like playing with that domain as well

like let's understand the meaning of it

551

and is there a feeling connected because

it normally is like if this means I'll

552

be, uh, too visible, uh, really exposed.

553

And that feels terrifying,

scary, whatever it is.

554

They're quite, they're

quite powerful forces.

555

And I sometimes like to play, figure

out the meaning, name it, talk

556

about it, feel it, whatever that is.

557

And what's the feeling goes with them

and then pull those apart a little bit.

558

So we can separate that,

you know, very deep.

559

process that happens in the body.

560

That I find really interesting.

561

It's interesting as well about what

you said about selling yourself,

562

because actually in an entrepreneurial

world, you're a salesperson.

563

You sell your goods or services

or your idea, whatever it is.

564

And the funny thing is, I remember

someone saying to me, if you have

565

something amazing to offer the world,

It's actually your duty to sell it, right?

566

You know, if you offer a transformational

change where you can help people

567

truly live a free life, like you've

got a duty, you can't just say, Oh,

568

I might, might sell it next month.

569

It's like, no, no, you should tell

people, I do this great stuff.

570

I can help these kinds of people.

571

I'm here if you need me.

572

I think that's a really

interesting frame, isn't it?

573

To put it in if you have something very

deep to offer, actually, it's a duty.

574

How does that resonate with you?

575

Earl Talbot: that resonates

deeply and that's why my strapline

576

is about living on purpose.

577

So coming back to the logical levels map,

at the bottom you've got environment, so

578

these are the things that are around you.

579

You know, so you're sitting

down in a, in a room, you know,

580

so that's your environment.

581

What we're doing right now is

we're speaking, we're speaking

582

English, you know, we've got the

skills and capability to do that.

583

And there's certain things

that we believe and value.

584

So you know, the work that we

do, and that's informing why I'm

585

on this podcast and why you do

this podcast in the first place.

586

An identity level mindset,

mindset code breaker.

587

you know, performance, high performance,

um, coach, you know, there's

588

all sorts of things that happen.

589

But at the top of that ladder

is usually division and purpose.

590

And that's something that

goes beyond ourselves.

591

So as soon as we get out, so

this is why it's important to

592

get out the way of ourselves.

593

As soon as we get out the way of

ourselves, stop judging ourselves,

594

stop limiting ourselves and living

in our beliefs of I don't deserve it.

595

And actually, a really interesting

point, I would probably say it's maybe

596

about a 45 55 split between my clients,

of those that are scared of failure, of

597

doing this and it not working out, and

those that are terrified of success.

598

And that's a really, you know, that was

something I never really expected that

599

actually at some level they, they were

terrified or not accepting of success.

600

But as soon as we can get out

of the way of ourselves, then

601

we are living a purposeful life.

602

And even, even that point, we live

in a society which says, when you

603

are doing something purposeful,

and this is our value system, when

604

we're doing something purposeful,

we shouldn't be rewarded for it.

605

And so we, we, you know, we pay

footballers and sports people and

606

whatever is huge amounts of money.

607

But as we know, um, teachers, doctors, you

know, there's various different elements,

608

you know, even, um, garbage disposal

or, or, you know, clearing the rubbish.

609

That's if, if, if we had two

weeks of no rubbish of, of

610

no rubbish collection, right?

611

Yeah.

612

that the country would be in a real

state, but that's really valuable.

613

But what do they get paid?

614

Right?

615

So anyway, there's, there's other factors

around that, but for many people, they go

616

into the work that they're doing, which

is very commendable and world changing.

617

And it's only the entrepreneurs

and solopreneurs in my

618

opinion, that really get

619

this is high value and I should be

rewarded appropriately for that.

620

It's a win, win, win scenario.

621

Whereas most people kind of have this

win, lose, I've got to lose somewhere.

622

Sal Jefferies: Yeah, that's such

a, such an important call out on

623

perspective and, and you're right,

if you are in the employed sector,

624

there are certain parameters.

625

It's a box, right?

626

To name it, it's a box of certain

pay ceilings you can have, certain

627

rules, and that's how it is.

628

And if that's right for you, that's okay.

629

If you are in the entrepreneurial

world, You make the rules.

630

Now, and of course, there's

a shadow side to this, right?

631

It's up to you.

632

You've got to make it, but you get

to call what you're going to make.

633

And I think that's both the

excitement and the terror, the

634

kind of dancing side by side.

635

And I think anyone who's listened to

this, who's sort of either teetering

636

on joining solopreneurship, someone's

going to the next level, going from

637

freelance to a founder, wherever

you are at that shift point where

638

there's, you're in your own way.

639

I really would say this.

640

You do get to create your

own rules as an entrepreneur.

641

Mostly.

642

Yeah, of course there are some

limits in the world, but mostly

643

you get to create your own rules.

644

So what rules are you going to create

is the next question to go with that.

645

Because if you create rules that

I can only earn X amount and

646

I've got to struggle and suffer,

then you wrote those rules.

647

You're the CEO of your own company.

648

So perhaps get really clear on

that, that you have a more agency

649

than you might realize here.

650

And actually that's an empowerment state.

651

As you said, that's the place

to help someone come from.

652

I also want to speak to the

coaching arena, you know, us,

653

us coaching change people.

654

Now, I have quite a strong view on the,

uh, so I'm, uh, I've been around this

655

planet half a century in earth years.

656

Plus I've been around a while.

657

I have quite a strong view on the

where I work on my own mindset.

658

So this is very personal to me

where I do all the psychology work.

659

I've been doing it for years and years and

years and I do things that align to that

660

to breath work because that's going to

change the biochemistry and the neurology.

661

I also do a lot of physical

training because if my body is

662

optimized and feeling good and

playful so is everything else.

663

Now you're in mostly

the the mindset domain.

664

How are you aligning other

parts of the human system?

665

whether it's movement, whether it's

consciousness, breathwork, what, what

666

are you doing, Earl, that's that,

that's involving that whole system?

667

Because I'm really interested in

this, what you said about being,

668

um, either misaligned or aligned.

669

So what are you doing in that space,

670

Earl Talbot: Yeah.

671

And it's interesting.

672

So, you know, from, are you talking

about for me or for my clients?

673

Sal Jefferies: for your

work in particular?

674

Yeah,

675

Earl Talbot: Okay, so I do a

number of different things.

676

Um, and I'm not trying to

be all things to all people.

677

So one of the things that I do is

I'll collaborate with different people

678

to bring out the best in people.

679

Um, but I run a retreat

in Thailand, for example.

680

So I run this retreat.

681

I run it once a year.

682

Hopefully from next year, I'm going

to be running at least twice a year.

683

And this was, this will be one of.

684

a number of different retreats that

are run, but that's all about detoxing.

685

That's about doing mindfulness.

686

That's about doing yoga.

687

You go for a swim.

688

Um, you know, you eat really healthy food.

689

We're doing things that

support the whole system.

690

And as you said, because you can't

just, the mind is the system and

691

that's the whole of your neurology.

692

That's using your somatic.

693

I'll talk about the five intelligences

and, and, you know, The Somatic, the

694

Cognitive Intelligence, the Emotional

Intelligence, the Intuitive Intelligence,

695

and the Spiritual Intelligence.

696

And what I mean by Spiritual

Intelligence is our connection that's

697

beyond the internal representation.

698

So, knowing that walking in nature or

putting your feet on the ground or having

699

the sun on your face has an effect on

you, for me, that's part of the Spiritual

700

Intelligence that we are connected in.

701

The outside world has an effect on us.

702

So that's a really important point.

703

So I look at it in being very

holistic, but I'm not prescriptive.

704

So for example, I do qigong, right?

705

So that's, that's my

breath work that I do.

706

Um, I'm also training, as I

said, um, a cohort of breath

707

workers to be solo opener.

708

So I understand that side of the business.

709

I also do exercise.

710

So I understand the value of

that, but I encourage people.

711

and this is about empowerment to

find the ways that work for them.

712

So they're not just doing

an aspect, they're doing all

713

aspects to support themselves.

714

But what's really interesting on this

point Sal, is I don't necessarily

715

even have to be explicit about it.

716

When I work with clients, again,

um, a client said to me recently,

717

which I wasn't working with them.

718

on any element of the physicality piece.

719

It was, it was very much focused

on the business, but they start

720

showing up in business differently.

721

And now they're going to the gym and how

they're approaching the gym is differently

722

to how they approached the gym before.

723

And they were saying to me, it's like,

I don't understand what's changed.

724

They don't, they can't figure it

out, but it's kind of like, if

725

you're going to be 10 X in one area,

you're not going to be 10 X in one

726

area and two X in another area.

727

You're going to be 10 X everywhere.

728

Sal Jefferies: I love

729

that.

730

Yeah,

731

Earl Talbot: And so, that

shows up in terms of your

732

Sal Jefferies: yeah.

733

And it comes, cycles back to

everything we're talking about.

734

How to get out of your own way

is to really be in the right way.

735

That's what it feels like to me.

736

If you're in the right way, not in

your own way, You go to the gym, you

737

might go to Zumba, you might do some

yoga, you might do Qigong, Judo,

738

you might go stand up paddleboard.

739

It doesn't matter so much what

choice you use, but you connect

740

to your body, nature, movements,

something greater than the individual.

741

And one of the things I found, and

it sort of, it sort of mirrors what

742

you're saying here, is that a lot of

people's problems are disconnection.

743

And I see it as either disconnection

in their thinking, Disconnection in

744

their thinking and their feelings.

745

So from their mind to their body, or

it could be disconnection between the

746

physical self, them as a person and their

surroundings, their social environment.

747

And if we can get the reconnection

happening, it seems that, ah,

748

we've just linked up the flow

again and things start to flow.

749

Not effortlessly, but without friction.

750

You know, there's sometimes energy

in, in, in this work, but there's, the

751

friction's removed and I love them.

752

So thank you.

753

Um, and yes, in Qigong,

uh, fantastic discipline.

754

I've done, I've tried most things.

755

I tried lots of different things.

756

Um, but what I have found, is that

when we are embodied, that's what I

757

found in my own experience and people

I work with, when we're embodied,

758

whether that's from yoga, which was

where it's really got for me and now

759

it's more in the strength domain, but

moving the body with conscious awareness

760

of who is here doing the exercise.

761

changes everything.

762

And then that transposed into

how I am in my relationships and

763

in my business and my, my work.

764

So that, that's one thing I think for

me, it's important to, to kind of hold

765

the, hold the flag up and say, look, this

seems to be now we've got enough knowledge

766

and data on this to be the right way.

767

There are certain elements that

need taking care of good nutrition.

768

Yeah.

769

Maybe going on a retreat

and really becoming mindful.

770

and doing your mind work.

771

So amazing.

772

Oh, I'd love to get your final thoughts

on, uh, particularly for our listener

773

who's sitting here going, right, totally.

774

I am in my own way.

775

I've heard Earl.

776

I've got it out.

777

Yeah.

778

I'm in my own way.

779

I'm hearing some of the block points.

780

I'm hearing some of the ways through it.

781

What would you suggest they do?

782

Um, obviously outside of, um, connecting

with you directly or correcting me

783

directly, what would you suggest they

do if they are hearing this and going,

784

yeah, I've kind of been called out.

785

I'm getting in my own way with these,

these things that Earl has spoken about.

786

What would you suggest is the

first step that they can do?

787

Earl Talbot: Yeah, um, I would also like

to respond to what you said a little

788

bit earlier, if that's okay as well.

789

And I think, you know, Sal, you made some

really pertinent points there, and, you

790

know, I can see the synergy in the ways

that we work about that disconnection

791

and how to reconnect because that is,

that is in essence, which is I call

792

alignment, is the mindset code breaking.

793

It's looking for the disconnections or

the misalignments and reconnecting them.

794

But sometimes, and I'm interested in

understanding what you see is the causes

795

for some of that, like what creates the,

the, the disconnection and And what, what

796

do you see about how to reconnect it?

797

And, and then I'll go on to

798

answer your question as well.

799

Sal Jefferies: Yeah, absolutely.

800

Yeah.

801

Thank you for asking.

802

Um, so what I see is the

disconnection is the ideation.

803

So the idea that, and you'll know it

cause there'll be words like should,

804

It's always something outside or

something not quite within one's grasp.

805

Like, I should be this.

806

I did it.

807

It's like, okay, so that's interesting.

808

That's already a big tail.

809

Like there's something, there's an

eye, there's an idea of the self.

810

and there's an actuality and they

are, they are different things.

811

They're separate or there's a, there's a

break there, as you've already alluded to.

812

So I'm interested in that.

813

I'm very interested in when people

can't connect with their body as well.

814

So I might say to a client, let's say

they're, they're struggling with imposter

815

syndrome and we'll work through that.

816

And I might say, well, where in

your body has any sensation as you

817

describe that difficult feeling.

818

And if someone says, I don't know what

you're on about, you know, they're

819

living absolutely in, you know, this

little domain up here, all in the head.

820

And the worrying fact is we pretty

much would say that 95 percent

821

of the mind is subconscious.

822

And that involves the body from

the, literally from the, all the

823

fascial networks in there, all

the molecular structures in there.

824

We know trauma is held in the body.

825

Somehow we think it's in the cells

of the molecules, the fascia.

826

So, If someone's not connected

to their body, that's my first

827

job is to help them reconnect.

828

And from the overt, such as if

you do heavy weight training,

829

you can't not connect your body.

830

The more subtle, like a yoga or

qigong, yes, that becomes more refined.

831

Doesn't matter where we start,

we start at the right place.

832

But that's what I'm looking for,

because the idea versus the actuality.

833

I want to close that gap, as you've

alluded, there's a gap there as well.

834

Can we, can we bring those closer?

835

One last thing I want

to say at this point.

836

People all know about the word ego

and often it's got a misunderstanding,

837

but ego is often a construct who

built it is what I'm interested in.

838

And if you have a fragile ego, which I

met, I had years ago, and I've worked with

839

many people have fragile egos and you'll

know it cause you're oversensitive or it's

840

really reactive to things you might've

got built with someone else's materials.

841

So if we can help that break away, like

an old shell, the real you can come out.

842

You know, the real you that's full

of maybe joy or gentleness or power,

843

whatever it is, is often actually

constrained within this idea of you.

844

So that's what I'm looking for

in this sort of psychological,

845

emotional crossover.

846

and it plays out physically.

847

There'll be a physical

expression somewhere, somehow,

848

as someone works through that.

849

That's what I've seen.

850

Earl Talbot: Yeah, brilliant.

851

I, I love that.

852

and and I see it pretty much as the same.

853

I, I don't necessarily focus

on, on why the disconnection

854

has happened because there's,

there's, Usually multiple reasons.

855

The biggest ones that we see is

trauma and the other one is judgment.

856

Um, you know, and even

judgment can come from trauma.

857

So, you know, there's that, there's

that kind of marriage there.

858

Um, and the ego.

859

Absolutely.

860

We are the construct of our ego.

861

So definitely recognize and see that.

862

Um, but once we change, the ego changes.

863

And that's a really interesting one.

864

But yeah, we've got to have a different

conversation because there's some

865

things there that I want to address

as well and discuss with you.

866

Um, but in, in terms of your,

your question, so getting out

867

of the way of, of ourselves.

868

So first of all, you, there's a couple

of things that need to happen is what's

869

your starting point and what do you want?

870

So then usually when we're getting

in the way of ourselves, there

871

is a level of direction of us.

872

I'm trying to go somewhere, I'm trying

to do something, I'm trying to be

873

someone and I'm struggling with that.

874

So where are you now and

where do you want to be?

875

So the first thing is what do

you want is the starting point

876

and what story are you telling

yourself that is getting in the way.

877

So these are some of the

things that I look at.

878

If I'm working with somebody.

879

So, actually, I'll do it this way.

880

I'd invite the listeners, if they are in

the getting in the way themselves, what

881

are they, what are you feeling right now?

882

What is the emotion that you're feeling?

883

Name, identify that emotion and

just check into that emotion.

884

What would you want to feel?

885

How would you want to feel?

886

What's the difference?

887

And this is what I'm

calling the intention.

888

And what story are you telling

yourself that is in the way of how you

889

feel today to how you want to feel?

890

Okay?

891

And then once you feel the

positive feeling that you want, the

892

feeling that you want to actually

experience, what will happen as a

893

result of you feeling that feeling?

894

So, I'll give a quick example.

895

I'm feeling demotivated.

896

I'm feeling frustrated.

897

How do you want to feel?

898

I want to feel inspired.

899

I want to feel motivated.

900

Okay.

901

What will happen as a result of

you feeling inspired and motivated?

902

I'm going to go to the gym.

903

I'm going to do all the paperwork that

I haven't done for the last six months.

904

I'm going to do the things.

905

I'm going to reach out to that

person that I didn't think I was

906

going to, you know, reach out to or

apply for that job or walk into my

907

boss's office and ask for a pay rise.

908

So it's really focusing on what is,

what's your current state, what's the

909

desired state, and what's the outcome

of that state, of that um, state

910

that you've, you've experiencing.

911

Sal Jefferies: Oh, that is a fantastic

walkthrough of what someone could do.

912

Really great example.

913

So thank you.

914

Well, dear listener, you have

been hopefully enlightened.

915

And often I think of getting

in my own way as a shadow, like

916

metaphorically and physically.

917

Bring the light, clear the shadow.

918

So, Earl, thank you for your

thoughts, your wisdom, uh, for taking

919

us on a bit of a journey there.

920

Uh, dear listener, as always, if there's

something that's got you here, go

921

back over it, write this stuff down.

922

This is gold and implement it.

923

Let us know what happens.

924

So until the next time, take care.