In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we’re talking about autistic burnout.

We share our personal experiences of supporting our children through burnout, from shutdowns and sensory overwhelm to emotional exhaustion and withdrawal. We also open up about how life events (including unexpected changes and disruptions to routine) can tip the balance and lead to burnout.

We explore what autistic burnout can look like in children, what can cause it, and most importantly what can help.

Key Takeaways

• How autistic burnout can present
• Increased meltdowns, shutdowns, or physical complaints can be signs your child is overwhelmed and exhausted
• Sensory sensitivities can intensify during burnout, making everyday things feel unbearable
• Changes to routine, environment, or support systems can trigger or worsen burnout
• Balancing energy-draining and energy-giving activities can support recovery
• Gentle, low-pressure outings (like time in nature) can help rebuild energy over time
• Reducing demands and allowing flexibility can support your child’s nervous system
• Burnout is usually temporary, and with the right support, children can recover and feel like themselves again

Mentioned in This Episode

Understanding Autistic Burnout

Autistic burnout: When navigating a neurotypical world becomes too much

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Victoria Bennion: In today's episode, we're talking about autistic burnout, what it can look like, what can cause it, and how we've supported our children through it. If your child is struggling right now, we really hope this conversation helps you to feel seen, understood, and supported. Everything we share here is based on our own lived experiences.

As parents, we're absolutely not medical professionals. Every child is different, and if you have concerns about your child's welfare, it's always really important to seek advice from a qualified professional.

Natalie Tealdi: Before we start, we thought we might explain, some of you may have noticed that we re-released some episodes for a few weeks,

And we've got a really crazy Labrador, which I think I've referred to before, and from what I can gather, he saw me running, charged into me, and knocked me over. And so i've had concussion which makes it quite hard to look at the screen and, made it quite hard to even speak or think for a few weeks.

So this is our first recording since then where we are, gosh, three months later.

Natalie Tealdi: So we have returned and now she has flashy eyewear. I said they, they would look better with me 'cause they match my pink hair,

Victoria Bennion: They would, , but anyway, I can tolerate the screen with them on.

Victoria Bennion: Have either of your children experience burnout, do you think? Na.

Natalie Tealdi: I was thinking about this and I don't think so. But I'm not a hundred percent sure because my son has a DHD, so I expect he was burned out when he was in mainstream school, but. Cause he's got that hyper element to him. It's not like he's gonna lie down and not be able to leave his room.

'cause he absolutely needs to get out of the house. Do you see what I mean?

Victoria Bennion: Yeah.

Natalie Tealdi: But is it something that you've experienced?

Natalie Tealdi: And what does it look like?

Victoria Bennion: From the resources that I was given, it said to look out for increased meltdowns and more sensory sensitivity. This can be physical pain and headaches. So one of my children has migraines, and these were more frequent and interspersed with minor headaches. I'm not an expert on migraines, but. So many headaches.

My other child tends to complain of a lot of aches and pains all over when they've been in burnout. Other things that you can see are physically shutting down? Dunno if either of yours, do they ever shut down

Natalie Tealdi: No.

Victoria Bennion: or lose speech?

Natalie Tealdi: I don't think so.

Victoria Bennion: One of mine shuts down and and also loses speech when their anxiety's really bad and they're in burnout.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Victoria Bennion: So I see a lot more of that,

Natalie Tealdi: And do they hide away as well?

It's a lot of effort. And they're very tired. Very fatigued,

Natalie Tealdi: And in certain situations do they also like cover their face and things like that when they can't cope?

Victoria Bennion: It's difficult for me to pull out what of that would be burnout? One of my children likes to cover their face with the anxiety generally. So, I would say when burnout's there that all those things are heightened, there're a lot more So balaclava are a go-to?

With the shutdowns, it's often in a school setting, so unfortunately it's been at mainstream and a specialist when they've been unable to cope and they've just completely shut down. And what I notice around that is the ability to speak also disappears, what works is me writing things maybe with a yes or a no answer or different options, and giving them the pen to point, just point.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh, I see. So is that just. Of in normal situations when you need to know something, that's just how you communicate or that is that more when you're trying to work out what's wrong?

Victoria Bennion: I usually do that when I'm trying to work out what's wrong. They're unable to say what that, I might have had an indicator like that there's something wrong from them, but then they can't go any further with talking about what that is.

Or it can be you know, do you want to do this or do you want to do that? Choices are even harder. I mean, one of my children struggles so much with choices, which is probably another episode, but but again, in burnout. It's, even worse.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah. What about social situations? Do you find that those are more difficult

And what I've learned over time is that's not true. So going out might be hard, but going into town, for example, where it's busy, there's a lot of things that would cause stress on a normal day when they're not in burnout. But that does not compare to walking. On the beach or doing a special interest.

So one of my children's, very much into metal detecting. So very metal detecting or for a walk in the woods. Not too far because of the aches and pains, but short outings are okay and actually I think can increase energy. 'cause what I've found is whilst they might want to stay in their rooms, it's not helpful after a certain amount of time for building up again.

Natalie Tealdi: That's tend to be what we do with our children. And is getting out in nature seems to refuel them, restore them.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, it's interesting that, isn't it? I suppose it makes a lot of sense one of mine particularly likes the quiet, doesn't like busy, I think it's just very restorative, isn't it, being out in nature.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, and it makes me think of a bit like depression, when you want to shut yourself away and you don't feel like you have that energy, but if you can push past that and just get out and get a bit of sunlight, that actually really helps.

Victoria Bennion: Yes. Sunlight is helpful. Absolutely. , It's helpful for everyone, isn't it?

Victoria Bennion: I think these are definitely things that have contributed to both my children's experiences of burnout. So one of my children definitely experienced this after changing schools, and I think you can pull into that a sense of not meeting people and society's expectations of them at the time and.

It took a few months to recover, and then my other child, there were changes to the timetable that they were struggling with. There was. A sense of pressure in a lesson where they couldn't get the hang of it.

There was my accident, which certainly accelerated all these issues. Sometimes I think that we don't realize how much we are holding up everything.

Once I. Hit my head. And then term started. I wasn't able to drive for two and a half months and even now I don't do the level of driving that I would've but my child school is a 30 minute drive.

they Had to put that mask up, which they managed for a couple of weeks. Initially after I had the accident, my husband took time off work and took them in and then. A very kind friend whose child is at the school offered to drive them.

And then sometimes our mom would take them. but all these things were different. And again, none were set. And because I was feeling so terrible, I'm not even there to support in the way that I would have with getting out of bed, eating breakfast, getting dressed, all those steps that lead up to it.

Natalie Tealdi: I think of it is there's always like a baseline of anxiety due to sensory, so every day can be different. Some days cl. Clothes aren't a problem. Some days they're a really big problem, but that can be just, if you've got nothing planned for the day, it can be the clothes that cause the anxiety.

Victoria Bennion: A hundred percent.

One of my children when they're in burnout, cannot tolerate clothes just about underpants and a fluffy blanket on top. But that would be the default. And that's also a really big indicator to me that we're in burnout.

Also, no tolerance for teeth brushing and just materials.

Natalie Tealdi: It is like the things that they find difficult that on a good day they could just about cope with when there's something big going on or changes. Those are the things that are just, yeah, tip them over then, and it becomes exhausting, doesn't it?

Victoria Bennion: Absolutely exhausting.

Natalie Tealdi: What can we do if a person that we care for is experiencing fatigue and burnout?

I've talked in the past, I've been really guilty of overscheduling both my children when they were younger before I realized, and when they're not in burnout, they need a lot more recovery time. Then I would from activities.

So. When they're in burnout, I'm very careful, as we were saying. So look at those activities. So it may be that is a walk to the beach. Maybe it is a trip out into nature or maybe seeing a friend, but. I would start small and then we see how that goes and see what the recovery time is like. And when I say recovery time, so for my children, an indicator that they are wiped out is that they go to their rooms and they close the door.

Natalie Tealdi: And also what about the reactions that you get to the spoon as well? Are they a bit more volatile than they would be?

Victoria Bennion: . A lot more emotional, absolutely.

Natalie Tealdi: So now not gonna eat it at all because you brought the wrong spoon. Not that you could go and get a different

would

Victoria Bennion: that's ruined. That's done.

I would say with my other child we approached it in a similar way. It might be one social engagement and then would need a lot of recovery time.

And then we just gradually built that up with support as well for this child.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, and it's important to sort of recognize that these periods do happen, but they can come through them and recover and be happy and be able to cope again.

Victoria Bennion: Absolutely is temporary.

It does pass, if it's the first time your child's experienced burnout and knowing what it is for them, that gives them energy and what it is that takes it away and needs a little bit of experimenting with.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, definitely. I think it can be easy to sort of think about what. Helps yourself and try that and expect it to have the same effect on your child,

Victoria Bennion: I totally used to do that.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, I'm sure that's very common.