Mastering Your Life with Mark Collins (Ep 73)

Episode 73 • 25th July 2024 • My Ministry Mission • Jason McConnell

Jason: Welcome and thank you for listening. My name is Jason and I'm your host. Every day we have a decision to make. We can do whatever we want or we can fulfill the purpose God created for us. One leads us into bondage while the other leads us to experience a freedom and joy that only our father in heaven can provide.

My next guest is Mark Collins and he spent about a decade putting together a program that teaches Christian men how to live a life of freedom by becoming the person they were created to be. By fostering a real relationship with God and receiving the gifts he promises. Look, guys, if you're ready to take your life to the next level, check out Mark's program.

You can find it at https://courses.freedom-for-life.net. There's a link to the website in the show notes along with his Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube channel. Good stuff in there. So let's meet the man who teaches other men how to stop wishing for a better future and start working with God to receive it.

So welcome, Mark. Thank you for coming to my humble podcast.

Mark: My pleasure, Jason. I'm looking forward to the conversation.

Jason: Oh, me too. I was thinking back on our intro call and I think it was a lot of fun. I think we had a great conversation. So I'm kind of really looking forward to, to this.

Mark: Me as well. Yep. Absolutely. Can't wait to get started.

Jason: All right. So we talked about your favorite Bible verse and you offered a few but Romans 12:2 stuck out as kind of the foundation of your faith in your program. It's, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you'll be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

So would you share with us why this verse inspires you?

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for asking. You know, honestly, I memorized this scripture and I memorized it because I wanted the, the second half of it. I wanted to know what God's good, pleasing, perfect will was for my life. It was a time when I was really kind of chasing after him and my faith walk and had a passion to understand who God had created me to be and what he created for me.

And. You know, in those places as a Christian, at least for myself, I'd grab a hold of scriptures and this was one of them. And, and, you know, I wanted the second half. I just didn't understand the first half that not being conformed was something that's understandable, right? You're not supposed to be in the world or of it.

And, but it's really more of really not designing your life in the way that everybody else does. And the transformation part is really where it exploded on the inside of me. It's really understanding that there is a transformation process happening. The problem was I thought transformation was him changing me to be somebody else because I wasn't good enough as I was and come to find out, not just through scripture reading, but my own journey.

It really was more of a transformation into understanding who you're created to be instead of the person you think you are.

Jason: That's very insightful, very insightful. I know that, we have people around us that influence us and. And I can only speak for myself, but they tell me things about myself. Oh, you'd be really good at this. And these are all the things I don't want to do, but these are probably the gifts that God gave me, you know?

Mark: You're absolutely right that a great part of who we believe we are is because of the people around us, whether it's our parents or our spouses or friends or people growing up, teachers, people in authority. You know, we take our cues from them as to who we can become. And sometimes they see gifts inside of us.

And sometimes they have a limiting understanding of who we are and they speak that into existence as well. That's. Also been part of what I call my freedom journey. It's one of the scriptures I probably shared. He who, the sun sets free is free. Indeed. We understand it in salvation. We don't always understand it in the lifestyle.

And sometimes the things people say to us are actually limiting us from the life we're created for.

Jason: Yeah, absolutely.

So I love giving the listeners the opportunity to get to know the guests. So if it's okay. I'd like you to share a little bit about your history and how it kind of led you to where you are today.

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for asking. I have a course, it's called Life Mastery, the website's actually freedom for life. The course is Life Mastery. And I've got a book that I wrote as well, "Life Mastery: Living Life by Design." That course and the book. I tell people all the time, it wasn't something that I had that was an idea that I should teach somebody else.

Something that was a great idea or even something that was revelation God gave me, although I think there was, and for sure there's revelation in it it wasn't something I wanted for somebody else. It's something I needed for myself. Growing up, I had a father who was strong willed, very domineering guy.

Did very well as a provider in our household. Unfortunately, emotionally, relationally, he wasn't quite as good at and so growing up as a young son with that father I always felt like he was somebody I couldn't really measure up to and I couldn't become, and in that place, you know, kind of growing up, you kind of find your own path.

And that led me into adulthood, which led me into my own activities. Trying to find a way to prove that I was somebody of worth and value, having these feelings of insecurity or fear of failure, right? Always because of, you know, some struggles in school. I'll be honest. I wasn't great in every subject.

Unfortunately, when you grow up, and you're not as good as the other students, your friends, and those people around you, you start to feel like you're maybe not as smart as right? I'm not as good as this person or that person. I'm not as smart as these people. And you take it on as part again, part of your identity.

Well, that was part of my identity was somebody that wasn't really as good as some of the other people, but there was something on the inside that told me there was more than the life I was living, whether it was the insecurity or the fear of failure or, or, you know, those things where you're, you're struggling to be better than the person you're acting like that was me growing up and going into adulthood that led to me.

Really trying to find success in, in my job and education, getting a college degree, starting a business and all of that, the interesting thing was that fear of failure, that insecurity that I had as a younger person had had before I succeeded was still there after I succeeded. And so later in life, when I was about 27, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I really started walking in that journey of figuring out, Hey, who am I really, who am I created to be? Is it my past? Is it my failures? Is it those things I keep hearing in my head? Is it the things that people said about me? And so I started to unpack scripture as instruction, not philosophy.

I walked into my Christianity thinking it was just good philosophy. You could put it on bumper stickers and t shirts, right? And you can recite it, but it really doesn't have any transformational value. But come to find out it actually did have transformational value in my own life. And within the scriptures, I pulled out instructions that I could see that if I live this out, I can see the person that God created me to be come to life, actually lived out and.

That fear of failure, that insecurity, those issues that came along all of a sudden started to disappear as I started to understand who I was instead of the person I was trying to be. And so that's where the course and all of those things came from, led to a passion. And of course, I'm not sure like with your life, Jason, but with mine.

I'm always when you notice you there, you found something really amazing. You share it with everybody. You want to have that same experience. And that's where I started working with men is trying to help men get to the place of freedom that I believe God calls us to. But most of us aren't living.

Jason: Yeah, absolutely. And I, yeah, you definitely want to share it with people when you find that, that I don't want to call it that, that gold nugget, but, but when you get that good information, when God speaks to your heart and it's so valuable, you want other people to hear it.

We talked about this on the intro call. I think that. Our stories resonate in a way that I spent the better part of my life outside of the faith, not being Christian, and it took the form of different achievements to validate my worth, in martial arts, it was, it was ranks and belts in school. It was my grades and any accolades I could get in the working force. It was, it was that mobility and climbing the ladder and the titles and the paychecks and nothing fulfilled the hunger until I walked into a church and I, and I, and I fed on the gospel and that's when my life changed. And I'm like, well, I guess I don't need to make as much money.

I don't need to be recognized as much. I just need to be the person that God made me to be. And I think that's where your, where your program comes in. To help maybe people get there faster and then get beyond that into where they're supposed to be a lot faster.

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. And I think, I mean, I haven't met a guy yet. That's not like yourself and myself. And what I should tell guys is this in the program, my course Life Mastery and the book is that apart from understanding who you are, the outside world has to make up the difference. So, and that's like exactly what you said.

And for sure, it was the same in my life. Also martial arts. I took martial arts really to try and measure up to my dad to try and be like him rather than some sort of internal or personal value I had in it, but in all those places, right? It's those things outside us, the title, the income, the role, the responsibility, the power, the prestige, whatever the thing is, we're using those things to prove that we're a man of worth and value.

And the, and the thing that I really unpack in our course, the thing that I try to start with is, is identity, understanding who you're created to be. So that you live from that place. Like you were saying in your own life, it's, it's living from who you're created to be because you're, your characters you're calling, it's not the vocation, it's not the title, it's not the role, it's Those are simply you working out, living out who you were created to be to begin with.

Jason: So let's talk about your program. Let's, let's dive into it. You spent, I think you said a decade working with men in building out this program. I mean, you kind of touched on it a little bit, but is there more to the origin story of your program, more to the genesis of it?

Mark: Life Mastery is the course and, and, and the reason that I was specific in that title was it really came from Genesis 1 where God, Holy Spirit, and Jesus came together and said, let us make man in our image and in our likeness and let them have dominion over all of the fish of the sea, the birds of the air and so forth.

You can read out the fullness of the scripture. The word I really latched on to is that word dominion, because it was the same dominion that Jesus gave back to us when he took the keys of sin and hell from Satan when he died and was resurrected. Well, back to that word dominion, that word dominion can also be translated master or mastery.

And so what I found in my own life was that, and maybe it's just me, but it's a lot of guys that I've seen that I've had the opportunity to, to mentor and coach. We are understanding mastering around us, right? So my job or relationships of the world, right? We always look outward and seeing that God's telling us to master the world around us, but really what he says first is to master yourself.

I can't master anything around me until I master me. And that mastery isn't domination. That mastery is living out completely who you're created to be in every area of your life. And so that's where the life mastery came from is being able to master my life so that I show up, not my insecurity, not my fear, not my worry, not anger, not control, not, you know, striving, not those, you know, the workaholic, not all of these things that we use to try and measure up and prove that we're of value and worth.

And so it really started with that. And for me, with all of the things I do, it always starts with identity. I found it in scripture, and I see it in my own life. If you understand who you're created to be, you'll see that person lived out. If you don't know who you're created to be, then your world will tell you and you'll live that out.

one of them brings, brings great blessing and great, what I call fulfillment and the other one, the most you can get a success. And as you know, and I know, you could be successful at one thing and have another area of your life that's a disaster. So God really hasn't asked us to be successful. He's inviting us to be fulfilled.

And fulfillment is me living out who I'm created to be in every area of my life. So for us, That starts with identity and it started with Jesus, right? Jesus understood who he was before he did any ministry. And I see in all of scripture, one of my favorite characters or one of the people in history is Gideon.

God always spoke who they were created to be before he told them their mission. He didn't tell them their mission and use that to prove who they were created to be. We tend to use the opposite. My, my vocation, my mission, my calling, the things I'm successful at. Shows who I am God is the opposite in that he says who you're created to be is simply lived out in those things that You're doing so for Gideon.

He was greeted by an angel while he was in the hiding trying to do some work for his family. He was threshing wheat while the enemies of God, the Midianites, were around and those were a tribe that were stealing from his people which were the Israelites. He was in hiding in a winepress trying to do that work making sure he had food for his family An angel comes and says, "Do not fear mighty man of valor." He called him a mighty man of valor to a guy who was in hiding.

And a lot of times the men I work with, myself included, you know, the things I give are a roadmap that I use to go from hurt to freedom. And so I'm just using the same roadmap for the guys, which is what the life master course is. So, he says, "Do not fear mighty man of Gaelic, who am I in hiding," what I say in our course and a lot of times in talking to guys is a lot of times we're heroes in hiding.

We're tolerating, we're dealing with things, whether it's emotions or actions or things that are outcomes that we actually can conquer. If we only understood who we were so for us, everything starts with identity and the honest truth is there's two great goals in my course and my book and my life. It's to help people understand who they're created to be so they can have the life that they're created for.

Jason: I like it. Yeah. You know, it's, it's interesting. And something that has been mulling around in my brain recently is that God puts us here. And he creates a calling that no one else, billions of people on the planet, nobody else can fulfill, but you, that is your calling. That's my calling.

And to understand that you are here for an absolute reason, and now you just have to, you have to listen to God and let him guide you to it. I mean, that's, that's profound to me. That was just mind blowing to just think that every single person on here has something that they were intended to do or to be.

It just, I mean, it blows my mind to think about that.

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. And I think we innately know that every guy that I know knows that there's something that I'm meant for. Right. And we also. Unfortunately, we also know when we're not there, when we're, you know, I don't, you know, the life around me, the job, whatever it is, I'm not, I'm not there yet. This isn't, this can't be everything.

And that was actually the thing in my life as well as knowing that, you know, this guy that was, you know, trying to show a good face on the outside, trying to succeed to prove he's a good man. And he's a man of value, but on the inside is insecure. I knew that wasn't everything I was created for that. God certainly couldn't have made me for that.

And so that's where my journey came in. And that's the thing I tell all the guys that I talk to is. You are meant for more. And in fact, the thing that you're feeling where you're feeling like something's missing, that's actually a gift because I believe as a Christian that there's a spirit on the inside of you that knows who you are.

It's your spirit, right? We're made of spirit, soul, and flesh, and our spirit knows who we're created to be. And it's that portion of us that prompts us to, to look for more and to not be satisfied with less and to have that dissatisfaction, I actually have a chapter in my book, and a portion of my course that is literally that title that your dissatisfaction is a gift.

Because it's proof that there's more for your life than where you're at. It's not an agitation that should make you feel unhappy. It's a confirmation that you actually are meant for more. And then it's trying to figure out, you know, what I use as my course and my book is the, the blueprint on how to get there.

Jason: That's, that's astounding to be perfectly honest, thinking about that in my, in my brain. But once I stepped into Christ, once I joined the church, I mean, it's only been maybe four going on four years, but there was a, there was a feeling of fulfillment when I got there.

And then a feeling of something is coming,

Mark: Hmm.

Jason: know, now that I'm in practicing and learning more and trying to read the scripture and doing this podcast and doing other things, it feels like something is coming. And, and, I kind of feel like, you say that the spirit is there to let us know we're not there yet, but maybe the spirit is also telling us, keep going. You're almost there. You know, you're right around the corner, you're getting close and you feel that encouragement. In the sense of an absence, it's not, it's not an achy hurt. Something's missing. It is, something is missing and you're about to get it.

Mark: Yeah, that is really good. And in fact, what I tell guys is that you're the one thing I think is a common misconception is that I'm miles away from figuring it out. That who I am right now is just, I mean, again, that transformation thing that I talked about, right? Romans 12:2, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

That transformation isn't for me to become somebody different, because if I was having to become somebody different, that means that I wasn't created to perfectly in the way that God would have created me. But that's the only thing God can do is create perfectly. That transformation by renewing your mind is to change your thoughts.

Your words and your actions, honestly, those are the three transformational tools we use in our course. But starting with that one, to change your thoughts, to align with who God says you are. And I tell guys this, you're not miles away. You're inches. It's not, it's not me having to completely redo my life and my understanding and all that.

It's those small changes where you start to understand that, Hey, I am more than the things that I'm walking in and I have value and worth. It's small steps and changes in your life and changes in mindset that'll get you to the place of aligning with exactly what God has and being able to live it out.

You're not miles away. You're inches. It just takes a different perspective and an honest and righteous understanding of what God says and who you are that will change everything in your life.

Jason: That's awesome. We've talked a lot about the program, let's just kind of dive into the program today on maybe a meta level. What can a person, what can a man expect when he jumps into it, what's the time commitment, what's involved with it you know, what resources do they need and so on.

Mark: Yeah, absolutely. Well, first off, I'll take the last question first, resources. The course is the course. So it's all encompassing. It's fully functional from start to finish. It's, you know, it's as you would say with a car with different items that you have. It's a turnkey program. Everything you have is in it.

And as far as time commitment, I mean, how long do you want to take to be free? For me, it took years and it took years because, you know, in my, in my young adult, really teenagers and young adult life, I, I had that feeling, right? That we talked about knowing that there was more and I was reaching out for it.

And for me, the only way I knew that I could get that as personal development programs, whether it's Tony Robbins or Dean Graziosi or reading books, like how to influence and influence people. And, and all of these things, I mean, I digest it. When after everything I could afford and the thing that was lacking and it was, there was always this image, this idea of a person that you were created to be right.

Imagine the person that you want to be, whatever their attributes are, their characteristics, and then, you know, think towards it, work towards it, act towards it until you become that person that never worked for me because at the end of the day, I knew I wasn't that guy. I wasn't Tony Robbins. I wasn't, you know, Dean Graziosi. I wasn't Dale Carnegie. And so while I could take on the attributes and the habits that they taught, I was never going to be them. I knew that inside. And so it would be good teaching that didn't really have any fruitfulness in it for me.

Through scripture, I understood that I don't need to imagine somebody I can be. I really just need to uncover who I'm created to be. And so that's one of the pivotal differences of our program is I'm not giving, telling you to, you know, who is the most amazing person that you want to be now? Try and strive to be that person until you get there, right? That fake it till you make it kind of approach.

It's really understanding that it's uncovering it till you become it. Who, who am I created to be? And so for us, the first of the tools is. Writing an identity statement, "I am" statement. It's an I am statement that says, I am, and then you write out what, who you created to be apart from your job, apart from your income, apart from your accomplishments, apart from your awards, right?

Apart from all of those things, who are you as a man? Who did God create you to be? So that's the 1st thing we do. And then I walk through a couple of other exercises, including have them write a list of things they celebrate about themselves and accomplishments that they've made. The celebration list is really, Hey, what do you love about you?

The challenge, at least in my own life and with a lot of guys is I didn't like a lot about me, you know, I was hoping to be better, but I didn't like my actions. I didn't like my responses. I didn't like the emotions that I was struggling with. I didn't like the feeling that I was kind of bound up in my stuff instead of feeling I was actually being unleashed into who I was created to be.

And so that celebration list is really one of those, again, one of those small changes of, hey, you're worth celebrating. Before you do anything right before you have anything you're worth celebrating that comes straight from scripture in Matthew 3 where Jesus was baptized. Yeah, I'm assuming most of your listeners are Christian.

If they're not, there was this guy. He's the savior of the world. His name is Jesus. He was baptized by his cousin, a guy named John. It says he came up out of the water. And it says that the Holy Spirit descended like a dove and landed and remained. So that's the Holy Spirit that stayed with him. But, the next thing that happened was a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved son," this was God talking, and he said, "This is my beloved son in whom I'm well pleased."

He wasn't saying it for Jesus behalf, because Jesus already knew who he was. He was saying it so that all the people would know who Jesus was. But in that is a truth. Jesus hadn't started his ministry yet. He'll go into the desert. He'll be tempted by Satan and he'll start his ministry and all the things that Jesus did, you know, in the world.

But before he started anything, his father let him know that you're my son and I love you. He always starts with identity and he always starts with celebration. But we're kind of, at least guys in general, are kind of not wired that way sometimes, where we're always looking for the things that we're missing, not the things that we're good at, right?

The things that I did wrong versus the things that I did right, and that's where the celebration list and the accomplishment list comes in. A lot of times, you know, I've got testimonies of guys in my chorus, a guy who was Dealing with multimillion dollar transactions, high, high, high level business owner who was dealing with fear of failure, he would have high levels of business success, but coming along with it was this idea that this one's going to fail, right?

People are going to find out that I'm not as good as I think I am. And that's not uncommon for guys, you know, you could call it imposter syndrome or whatever. The thing that feeling that. I'm not qualified to be here and it's going to fall apart and everybody's going to find out. Well, this was a guy who was at, I mean, you would think he would be the highest level of success.

I looked at him and said, you know, you obviously don't need a program where you have to kind of figure out who you are, but he did, because it really doesn't matter what your accomplishments are. It's the guy on the inside that's the issue. And so we do the accomplishment list because what I want guys to realize is, Hey, you're accomplishing things.

You've got a track record in your life. Of accomplishing things. We always wait for the Super Bowl moment before we'll pat ourselves on the back. But if we don't pat ourselves on the back on the way there, in most cases, we never get there. And so for me, it always starts with identity and then a celebration list and an accomplishment. And those things encapsulated can give you a pretty good picture of who you are.

Jason: Yeah, it's like climbing a mountain, you're looking up while you're climbing a mountain, right? But every once in a while, it's good to look down to see how far you've come.

Mark: Exactly. But it's those places where you give yourself ammunition. The challenge in most of our lives is, even in Christianity, that's at least the experience I've had, is we're always working in defense, not offense. And that's why the title of my book is a life master living life by design, not by default.

Most of the times we're living by default, which means that life happens, and then I try and respond, right? Life happens. There's a failure that happens as a financial challenge. There's a relational issue. There's something that goes on, right? There's a health issue. There's something going on. And then I try and grab the scriptures I know, or, or the ones I try and use to, to try and, you know, make myself feel that I'm going to be better than what I'm walking into.

It's always life by defense. We're always trying to grab a weapon after we're already in the war. And so through these tools, what we're giving the guys is, no, I'm giving you tools before you're in there. So you're, you're equipped and you're able to fight before you go. So when life happens and I have a financial challenge and I'm feeling, Oh, you know, I don't know if I can get out of this.

Well, no, I. I've got a weapon. I've got a list of transactions that say, no, I've accomplished stuff in my life. And they've not all been easy. And they've certainly not all been things that were a breeze without challenges, but look at the things that I've already done and look at who I am. So you're fighting the battle before you get there.

You're being equipped before you walk in life by design. Equipping yourself before you're walking into the challenging situation so that who you are shows up, not the person you used to be in the experiences and the mistakes and the hurts of your past.

Jason: Yeah, that's, that's good. Now, so it reminds me, cause I'm working through my church with some other guys to create sort of a dad's group. And yeah, about a year ago I did a Bible study for dads and it was, I had two guys show up, but we did it and it was great, but what I found out is dads don't want more Bible study. They want other dads who get it. And one of the things that I've learned through this experience is, Men have precious few resources for support compared to women. And, and I think that's because guys are under this impression, you know, whether that's their, their dad that taught them or, or the world teaching them.

You're supposed to know how to do this. You're supposed to know how to be a man. You're supposed to know how to be a dad. You're supposed to know how to make a living and support your family. And we're, we're conditioned to just never ask for help. We just suffer along. And what you were saying in that re that reactive mode responding to these things instead of preparing for, for the next thing.

And that, I mean, that just really resonated when you were talking about that, how, wow, that's, that is just, that's a guy thing, you know, and I'm so glad that your program's out here because that's one more place where men can go to look for some guidance and for some support and, but you gotta look, you gotta, you gotta be out there asking for help and that's something that's really hard for men to do, I think in general.

Mark: and I think, you know, it's, it's, there's also, there's, there's a couple of things. Well, first off, I want to. Congratulate you on your group, but having a couple of guys who actually show up, you know, matters because a lot of times, again, I, myself included, I see a lot of times as men were were heroes in hiding because of that stigma that I need to have it all together.

And I can't have emotions like fear and worry and insecurity and anger and all these kinds of things. Right. Basically, people have asked me before and I said, Society relegates men to two things. They either have to be perfect or they're irrelevant, right? Either they're not needed for a family or the dynamic of raising kids or whatever, which is a lie, or they have to be perfect. They have to have all the answers. They have to, you know, never falter. They have to never doubt. They have to never deal with fear, which is also a lie. And so we're caught in between these two where we're trying to not expose ourselves, right? We think we're the only ones. I'm the only one.

My guy who was dealing with seven figure business transactions. Felt like he was the only one and one of the greatest releases and areas of freedom in his life was finding out that no, this is actually pretty common. There's a lot of guys who are out there who are heroes in hiding. They're putting on a good face. But underneath it, they're, they're living from their past, not from their identity.

And so that's that's one of the things. The other is that a lot of times we just, we don't know that there's resources out there to be better. Yeah. We don't know that there's a way to actually have freedom. And like, in my case, I've tried at least half a dozen personal development programs, read at least 20, 25 books, trying to be better, but still falling short, but still struggling, but still wrestling with the sins, right?

The things that I was doing to counteract a life that I was unhappy with. And in that place, one of the biggest things I, and one of the things I'm most proud of with the guys that I work with in the life mastery course, is that Is that they were willing to bet on themselves one more time, no matter how many times it didn't work, they were willing to bet on themselves.

And so it's, you know, it's that point of, if you could just bet on yourself once, one more time, believing that, okay, well, this time it's going to be different this time, I'm actually going to find something that's going to be transformational and not just nice teaching. If you can get to that place, then.

The resources are there and you know, obviously I'm one of the people in yourself included are a couple of guys who want to help them to that place where they can be unleashed into the life they're created for not managing the life that they're left with.

Jason: Yeah, so, I'm curious, why do you think we lean towards clinging to those things that leave us with this unfulfilled life and bondage? Why do you, Why do you think we do that? I mean, other than that, you know, we talked about the guy stuff, but, but there seems to be kind of a mentality of this worldwide and maybe that's it. Maybe it's the world, but I thought I would ask your thoughts on that.

Mark: Yeah. And if I could unpack it probably in a way you hadn't expected. So I look at my own life, right? With a domineering dad, a feeling that I didn't measure up some struggles in school and some things that told me that maybe I wasn't as smart as wasn't as accomplished as everybody else that was around me.

Well, in that place, you start to believe that's who you are, and so to try and find a way of getting around that or actually believing you're more than that is something that's a bit of a challenge for people to do, you know, the life management, at least as a life I can control, it's a life, you know, it may not be great, but I'm able to make sure that I'm not going to be, you know, I'm not going to strive for that job or reach out for that relationship or that thing that's going to make me disappointed or hurt again, right?

Right. It's, it's life management, meaning I'm going to make sure it's at least in my control. So really what it is, is me shrinking back into the ways that make sure that I'm not feeling that I'm going to mess up, that I'm going to be exposed to that. I'm going to have those feelings of hurt. That's one of the issues and the challenges that's with it.

Well, but the other thing is that. It's not just life management, but it's understanding that if I have to walk forward in this, I have to do stuff. So for me, my life mastery journey wasn't in recognizing that my dad was there. It's, it's, it was dealing with those hurts. And being willing to be honest about them so that I could be healed of them.

And so I say with the guys that are in my course, they're some of the bravest men I know, because instead of ignoring their past, Hey, it doesn't matter. It was back then. It's not affecting me now. You're the only one who thinks so, by the way, everybody else sees you, the wound that you're carrying, whether it's an anger or control or insecure, whatever the things you're doing, you're the only one that doesn't realize that that thing is still affecting you now. The bravest guys I know are the ones who are willing to say, I don't want that to be my future. And I don't want that to tell me who I am. I tell guys this in the course all the time, the Life Mastery course, God doesn't discount your hurts. He doesn't tell you to get over them or get past them. But what he doesn't want them to do is to tell you who you are anymore.

And so part of one of our trainings going through experiences, so there's four pillars of life, mastery, identity, experience, meaning and emotion. We walk through that experience piece and start to examine some of the ways that my past experience has given me a lie that I believed as an identity. And so what happens is you go back to that place, you understand how you were hurt or how you were disappointed, you see God's truth in it, and it sets you free.

Well, a lot of people don't want to go through that journey. They'd rather manage this limited life than open themselves up to the vulnerability of saying there were some things that damaged me, hurt me, changed me. And, and instead of walking through those and find healing, they choose the, what they think is the easier path.

But in the long run, it's the devastating path of never being who you're created to be because you're unwilling to deal with who you used to be.

Jason: That is really good. And I think that's a really good place to start wrapping this up. I'll open it up. Do you have any, any final words, any last thoughts for the people listening?

Mark: The one thing I didn't unpack that I would probably give any man out there is who you think you are, you'll become. Who I am today and who you are today is a sum total of who I believe I was. Because when I believe I am going to be a person, I'll make sure that my life aligns with that. So if I believe that I'm a failure, I'm going to find ways to fail or ways to stop doing stuff so I don't fail.

But in either case, you still are living from that identity. So if. Who I think I am I'm going to become then how to again a shortcut to the thing that I did If I believe I'm more than the thing I'm walking in then what's the script? I'm giving myself. What's the thing? I'm telling myself. What do you say about you? And I tell guys this and and this is a bumper sticker a phrase that they can use It's this if your thoughts don't align with who God says you are then your thoughts are lying to you And so I would give that to every guy today. If the things you're saying about yourself don't align with who God says you are, then they're lying to you.

And what I would ask you to do is find out what's the truth and then live that out. And then you'll have the life mastery life that I talk about.

Jason: That's very profound. Thank you for sharing that. Check out Mark's program, it's called "Life Mastery," and that's at https://freedom-for-life.Net. Is that the right address?

Mark: Yep. So it definitely is. And if I could say really quickly, there's also a diagnostic tool. It's 40 quick questions and it basically is where am I at my life mastery journey and what's the next step I can take. It's a free It's a free diagnostic tool. It's on the website as well. I'd love for you to be able to take that. Just a free gift for you.

Jason: Oh, that's fantastic. I will make sure that is in the show notes as well. So life mastery, freedom for life is the website. All of that will be in the show notes. So definitely check it out. You know, Mark, this has been an amazing, an amazing conversation. I wish, you know, I could just talk to you all day.

I think there's, there's a lot of, a lot of information that's going to be poured into men. They just need to go sign up. They need to be brave enough to get out there and admit, I'm not, I'm not quite there and I need a little help and it's, it's not hard. You just gotta, just gotta do it. So thank you so much for, for joining me today.

Again, I've got all that stuff in the show notes. You've got Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube channel, which also has some pretty good information on there. I think you've got some videos on there that are pretty, pretty helpful, pretty insightful. So definitely go check those out. And then of course, check out my stuff in the show notes.

I've got a website, https://myministrymission.Com. You can contact me, you can sign up to be a guest. You can sign up to get inbox notifications when episodes release, all of that good stuff's in there. All of my social media is in there. Thank you again. Until next time, remember to read your Bibles, remember to love each other and may the Lord bless you and keep you.

So God bless to the listeners and God bless you, Mark.

Mark: Thank you.

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