In this gentle and powerful episode of Not That Girl Anymore, host and trauma therapist Dawn Bouillion guides us through the essential, yet often overlooked, journey of reconnecting with our emotions. If you were never taught how to feel or learned early on to shut down your emotions to stay safe, this conversation is for you.

Dawn explores why emotions matter, how shutting them down impacts our health and connection, and how we can begin to feel again with compassion, curiosity, and courage. You’ll learn practical tools to name, feel, and express your emotions safely, like using a feeling wheel, tuning into your body, and finding healthy outlets such as journaling, movement, or music.

This episode is a loving invitation to come home to yourself. Because your feelings matter. And so do you.

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Dawn Bouillion: Hey, friends, welcome back to not that girl anymore. I'm your host. Dawn Bouillon, a trauma therapist coach, and the founder of embrace, your brave

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Dawn Bouillion: and one of our goals. For this podcast is to help all of us find our way back home to ourselves.

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Dawn Bouillion: So today we want to start kind of talking about what that could look like.

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Dawn Bouillion: And one of our foundational pathways home for all of us is actually through our emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: So this episode is for those of us who maybe never really learned about our emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: or maybe were never taught how to feel

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Dawn Bouillion: or what your emotions are even there for

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Dawn Bouillion: So if you didn't feel safe, or maybe you didn't feel like there was space in your home for you to feel.

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Dawn Bouillion: Then you may have learned to keep yours inside.

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Dawn Bouillion: And so this episode is going to be for you.

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Dawn Bouillion: So today, we're gently exploring why emotions matter what happens when we don't feel them or can't feel them.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then how do we begin reconnecting with our emotions and expressing them in a safe and healthy way?

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Dawn Bouillion: So 1st let's just talk about emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: Emotions are not right or wrong, they just are.

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Dawn Bouillion: They're not a flaw or a weakness. They're just part of being human.

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Dawn Bouillion: And one of our top needs as children

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Dawn Bouillion: is the need to be able to feel

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Dawn Bouillion: and to feel all of our emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: We need someone in our life to say, you know what?

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Dawn Bouillion: It's okay to feel sad.

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Dawn Bouillion: It's okay to be hurt. It's okay to feel angry about that. That makes sense.

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Dawn Bouillion: But for many of us. That's not what happened.

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Dawn Bouillion: And for many of us we learn to shut off our emotions early on in life, because maybe we didn't want to be a burden.

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Dawn Bouillion: or maybe mama already had too much on her shoulders.

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Dawn Bouillion: or the chaos in our home made it feel like emotions were dangerous.

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Dawn Bouillion: So for some of us. We just learned to shut them down, maybe just

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Dawn Bouillion: be good, and not need anything.

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Dawn Bouillion: or go cry by ourselves in our room.

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Dawn Bouillion: or maybe just not let ourselves cry at all, even when we're hurting.

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Dawn Bouillion: or for some of us. And this was kind of true for me. Maybe you learned that some emotions are okay, and some aren't

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Dawn Bouillion: like sadness is weak, or maybe anger is bad or having needs is too much.

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Dawn Bouillion: And so we we learn to start shutting down emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: But when we start shutting down emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: perhaps maybe we'll say, Well, let's just shut down our anger. But when you shut down one emotion.

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Dawn Bouillion: You're going to actually start shutting down all of them.

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Dawn Bouillion: We don't just lose sadness. Then we lose joy.

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Dawn Bouillion: We don't just numb pain. We numb connection and pleasure and creativity, and even hope.

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Dawn Bouillion: So. That's why many people say.

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Dawn Bouillion: I just don't feel anything anymore.

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Dawn Bouillion: It's not that you're broken.

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Dawn Bouillion: Is that your body has found a way to keep you safe.

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Dawn Bouillion: It's found a way to help you survive.

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Dawn Bouillion: but that safety has come at a cost, and that cost is aliveness.

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Dawn Bouillion: So feeling isn't just about being emotional.

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Dawn Bouillion: It's about being well, it's about healing, it's about wholeness.

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Dawn Bouillion: So when we disconnect from our emotions, then we disconnect from ourselves.

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Dawn Bouillion: We disconnect from our ability to know what we need, and to set healthy boundaries.

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Dawn Bouillion: or to speak up for ourselves when that's necessary, or even to feel like joy.

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Dawn Bouillion: and when emotions don't have a way to like move through us, they don't just disappear.

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Dawn Bouillion: They get stored in our bodies.

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Dawn Bouillion: and that can quietly turn into depression.

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Dawn Bouillion: and over time, as we keep pushing our feelings down, it can lead to physical illness.

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Dawn Bouillion: because we're all connected, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, our souls, all of it, is connected.

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Dawn Bouillion: And so what we may not realize is sometimes the evidence of this is showing up in our physical bodies, and this can lead to

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Dawn Bouillion: chronic fatigue, digestive issues, anxiety or panic attacks.

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Dawn Bouillion: Autoimmune flare ups are just that deep

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Dawn Bouillion: numbness that we can't even explain.

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Dawn Bouillion: So again, feeling isn't just about being emotional. It's about being whole and being connected.

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Dawn Bouillion: So if no one's ever told you this before

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Dawn Bouillion: feeling your feelings is one of the bravest things you'll ever do.

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Dawn Bouillion: and it's 1 of the most important things you can do for your emotional and physical health.

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Dawn Bouillion: So you're not broken. If you can't feel you've just learned to survive.

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Dawn Bouillion: But I don't want you to just learn to survive.

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Dawn Bouillion: I want you to live.

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Dawn Bouillion: So how can we possibly begin to feel again.

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Dawn Bouillion: And this is not about shame. It's not about shame that we don't know how to do this. How are you going to know something that you've never been taught.

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Dawn Bouillion: But then, at the same time, it's never too late to learn.

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Dawn Bouillion: And so let's let's learn right.

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Dawn Bouillion: Let's start today.

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Dawn Bouillion: So here's some of the tools that I use with my clients, and in my own life, when it comes to emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: name what you feel, and for me with my clients. I use like a feeling wheel.

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Dawn Bouillion: and I help people kind of put words to what they're feeling so it could be. I feel sad. I feel anxious. I feel overwhelmed.

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Dawn Bouillion: and then they have words to connect to that.

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Dawn Bouillion: and then maybe we can start to connect to our body and say.

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Dawn Bouillion: Where am I feeling this at in my body?

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Dawn Bouillion: See, the body actually holds on to all of this, and it doesn't forget.

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Dawn Bouillion: It remembers.

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Dawn Bouillion: And the body doesn't lie.

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Dawn Bouillion: It tells the truth.

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Dawn Bouillion: So when we're connecting to our body, we can actually notice sometimes what our emotions are, and it might look like

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Dawn Bouillion: a tightness in your chest or a knot in your stomach.

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Dawn Bouillion: and you just learn to notice it

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Dawn Bouillion: instead of be so disconnected that we're not even seeing it.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then, when you do notice some of that happening in your body as you are starting to reconnect.

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Dawn Bouillion: you want to have compassion on that part of you.

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Dawn Bouillion: and one of the things that I do with my clients when we start getting connected to our body is, I'll just have them like put their hand on that part of their body. So maybe it's their maybe it's their heart. Maybe it's their chest right. Maybe it's their gut.

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Dawn Bouillion: and you just kind of gently put place your hand right there, and it's just kind of saying I see you

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Dawn Bouillion: and I care.

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Dawn Bouillion: And you start looking at that. Those parts of you with gentleness and compassion

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Dawn Bouillion: and curiosity. Right? And that's part of reconnecting to our body as we're reconnecting to our emotions.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then we want to find healthy ways to express our emotion.

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Dawn Bouillion: So you kind of figure out what works best for you.

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Dawn Bouillion: and it could be. If you like to write you can. You can write it out. You can. Journal.

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Dawn Bouillion: Sometimes it's just letting yourself cry when you need to cry. Crying is so healthy for us.

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Dawn Bouillion: or maybe it's just getting up and moving like moving our body, going for a walk, doing something to move our body.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then, you know, maybe we need that little pep talk from ourself. And so recording some little voice memos on your phone to remind you

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Dawn Bouillion: of who you are or finding someone safe to talk to, you know.

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Dawn Bouillion: That can be such a valuable resource. But they gotta be safe right?

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Dawn Bouillion: And then one of my favorite ways is through music.

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Dawn Bouillion: Now, I'm a big swifty, and I personally think that Taylor's 1 of us, and she's she's 1 of those people that's really helping women.

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Dawn Bouillion: reclaim their voice, and if you listen to her lyrics.

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Dawn Bouillion: she is expressing through her her music what so many of us feel. But we can't find the words for.

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Dawn Bouillion: So I recommend that. But you find what works for you. Music is a powerful way to express yourself.

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Dawn Bouillion: and it doesn't have to be

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Dawn Bouillion: perfect. We just start somewhere, right? You just start somewhere.

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Dawn Bouillion: And when it comes to your emotions, you know, it's like, like, I said, start wherever start small. You don't have to

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Dawn Bouillion: tackle the biggest, hardest emotions go, for you know, maybe just

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Dawn Bouillion: what feels overwhelming. Just start putting words to whatever it is you're feeling.

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Dawn Bouillion: So, yeah.

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Dawn Bouillion: if we want to kind of think about this more more personally for you, and and reflect on this a little bit.

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Dawn Bouillion: ask yourself what was I taught about emotions growing up?

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Dawn Bouillion: Was it okay to feel?

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Dawn Bouillion: Were some people like very expressive in their emotions?

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Dawn Bouillion: Or are there some people that you've never seen them cry.

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Dawn Bouillion: what did it look like for you? Let's get curious about that.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then what emotions have felt safe for you to express!

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Dawn Bouillion: Would have you felt comfortable with.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then what are the ones that you tend to avoid?

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Dawn Bouillion: And why?

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Dawn Bouillion: Just get curious, you know, it's just moving towards ourself and asking those questions, and and

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Dawn Bouillion: with compassion and curiosity, just understanding, we make sense in our story.

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Dawn Bouillion: We just gotta look back and ask the questions.

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Dawn Bouillion: And then you know what emotion am I feeling right now? Right? What am I holding in right now?

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Dawn Bouillion: And maybe

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Dawn Bouillion: maybe this is an opportunity to do that, and I do encourage you to start start doing this, connecting with your emotions and finding words to express how you're feeling

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Dawn Bouillion: is one of one of those gentle ways that you can start reconnecting with yourself

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Dawn Bouillion: one of my favorite resources for this, and you can look it up right now is an app called how we feel.

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Dawn Bouillion: And

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Dawn Bouillion: I really love this resource because it's right there on our phones and a lot of times we always have our phones with us. But when you check in on that app.

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Dawn Bouillion: you actually will see that it will define what these words are, and you can find the words that more accurately describe what you're feeling.

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Dawn Bouillion: and then on this app it'll also ask you like.

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Dawn Bouillion: well, where are you right now? Right? Who are you around?

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Dawn Bouillion: What are you doing, and that will help you

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Dawn Bouillion: kind of get an idea of what your emotional patterns are.

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Dawn Bouillion: and maybe what environments impact you in different ways.

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Dawn Bouillion: So that's just a free, free resource. If you want to start somewhere, start there.

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Dawn Bouillion: But emotions are so super important

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Dawn Bouillion: and like I said, there's no shame that we don't know this yet.

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Dawn Bouillion: We don't know what we don't know.

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Dawn Bouillion: but then, when we learn something different, then we can do something different. And that's what this is about.

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Dawn Bouillion: So listen, feelings matter. Your feelings matter. You're meant to feel.

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Dawn Bouillion: and not just the pretty emotions. But all of the emotions

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Dawn Bouillion: and emotions aren't a problem. Right?

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Dawn Bouillion: They're they're messages from our insides that carry truth and wisdom and healing.

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Dawn Bouillion: And even if you haven't learned to feel before you can learn now, right, you're safe now.

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Dawn Bouillion: You're strong enough now. You don't have to do that

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Dawn Bouillion: alone, either. That's why we're here doing this together.

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Dawn Bouillion: So thank you again so much for just being here today

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Dawn Bouillion: and taking the time to learn about.

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Dawn Bouillion: you know, ways that we can reconnect with ourself and come home to ourself

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Dawn Bouillion: and understanding emotions, and why they matter

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Dawn Bouillion: is a really important part of that.

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Dawn Bouillion: So

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Dawn Bouillion: if this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with someone else that you care about, that, you know needs it.

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Dawn Bouillion: And if you're wanting more support with connecting with your voice or your emotions, or the truth

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Dawn Bouillion: reach out. We are right here.

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Dawn Bouillion: and we are walking with you through this.

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Dawn Bouillion: So remember you matter.

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Dawn Bouillion: Your voice matters, your story matters, your healing matters.

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Dawn Bouillion: and you are not that girl anymore.

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Dawn Bouillion: And you're becoming who you were always meant to be.