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Welcome friends.
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This week on doing divorce Different,
we had Melissa Miel, Slavic.
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She's an attorney, she's a
sweetheart, she's a become a friend.
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Um, but she was on and she
was talking about prenups.
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We made it a two part series.
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So go back and listen to Tuesdays
episodes, we talk about prenups, and then
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in the upcoming week we're gonna talk
about postnuptial and collaborative law.
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And here's the thing.
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This podcast is helpful whether
you're single, maybe thinking about
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getting married, whether you're
divorced and maybe gonna get remarried
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because prenuptial agree agreements.
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Melissa talks about how they actually
strengthen a marriage, and I think
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maybe they can get a bad rap, right?
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Because you think about like.
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I don't know, like the movies that you've
seen where the rich guy or the rich lady
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makes someone sign a prenup and then they
leave 'em and they're left with nothing.
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So that's not really what it's about,
especially if you do it collaboratively
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and really an important, uh,
point to have attorneys involved.
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Um, but it is a way.
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To really be serious and
thoughtful about your marriage.
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And I'm looking to do a study, so if
anyone has any information, and I'll
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keep digging, um, to find out whether
or not people with prenups divorce more
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or less than people who don't have them.
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But here's the thing that was
kind of eyeopening to me, is that.
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When a young couple is getting
married, they often don't realize
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the extent of this binding agreement.
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I mean, it's a binding agreement between
the two of you and God and the law.
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So it is like a partnership and you
wouldn't go into a business partnership.
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Without writing down how things would
go, um, how they're gonna work, how
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it would go if it, if you separate it.
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Because here's the thing, you
get to do it and God help you.
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I don't want you to end up divorced.
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And I think that the kind of people who
do prenups together collaboratively are
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often planners and working together.
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So I feel like.
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They've got a better start
to their marriage already.
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But it helps you look at when you're at
a point when emotions aren't high and
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you're at a point in time and you can
talk about what your thoughts are at that
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time for what would happen in the future.
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And we know things can change and,
and you can groove with that, but.
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It's so helpful, one to make
you realize what a important
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commitment you are making.
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I think it's huge that it's be
that God is your is there and he's,
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you know, binding you together.
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But you also have to
realize the law is there.
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And I'm gonna be honest friends, I have
so many couples that come to me angry.
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Why can't we just say we
wanna be divorced and be done?
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You can't because you are in a legal.
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Legally, you know, written up partnership.
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And so you can't just
break away that easily.
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You have to go through paperwork.
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So take the time to really look
at it and set yourself up to a
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great marriage, because couples
who can communicate together.
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About what they would want in a
prenup, how they would want things
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to be if they did end up divorce.
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Looking at, well, if we have kids,
what would we want it to look like?
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It is going to help you.
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God help you.
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You do get to the point
where you need a divorce.
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At least you can look back
and say, you know what?
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This is what we agreed on.
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Because when emotions run
high, it's really, really hard
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to use that prodigy brain.
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It's hard to reason.
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It's hard to make really good decisions,
and we do everything we can to help you.
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I try to help you through
mediation to keep that brain.
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Um, that prodigy brain working so you
can make good decisions, but if you had
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talked about it in in advance, you'd
be set up and I think you might have a
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better chance of not getting there because
you're already showing that you're working
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together, that you can communicate well.
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That's a big part of what you need
in a great marriage, and you're
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going in with eyes wide open.
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You know what this partnership looks
like and it's not gonna be a surprise
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if something NFU happens and you,
you've gotta change things around.
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So I agree with Melissa when she said
prenups can build stronger marriages.
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Go listen to the episode.
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It's so good.
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And she's so awesome.
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She's a great teacher.
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Thanks for being here.
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I.
